063 Tory Ryden & Reg Groff - The Great Reboot

In just a few seconds, we've got another amazing leader for you on Walking the Walk. But first, are you a member of the Sensei Leader Movement yet? And if not, why not? Your success as a leader is measured by one thing: the success of your people. And you're at your best when, and only when, you help your people perform at their best. Our mission is to help our members inspire, empower, and guide the people you lead to their very best. Our first level membership is free, always will be. Now, I don't want to keep you any longer from today's guest, so just visit SLMJoinFree.com for all the benefits and join the Sensei Leader Movement today. Leaders are people who see what needs doing and they do it. And as the virus hit, two of the people that really embodied this spirit are Tori Ryden and Reggie Groff.

They thought we needed a little bit of uplift, so they launched a show called The Great Reboot to share good news for a change. That's what we're talking about today on Walking the Walk.

People who inspire, empower, and guide us to our very best. Leaders who are walking the walk. Your host, leadership activist, author, and founder of the Sensei Leader Movement, Jim Bouchard.

So I'm talking with Tori Ryden and Reggie Groff, and they've just launched an incredible, incredible program. And Tori just had us, had me on her show. And one of the things we talked about is leaders are people who see what needs doing and they do it. And to me, that's what you guys have done. You've shown tremendous leadership by stepping up and providing a platform for positive news, for good information. And so tell me a little bit about how you launched it. Well, tell us the name. Tell us how people get in touch with you.

Tell us how you launched it. So I'll just say the name, and then Reggie, why don't you describe a little bit more for it? Sure.

It's called The Great Reboot.

I think the idea behind that is we wanted it to be really in keeping with what a lot of people are faced with, which is they're having to make kind of some decisions after or in light of COVID-19. And so they're having to really kind of look at things differently and with businesses. And why don't you explain a little bit, Reg?

So Tori, you and I have been speaking for a while about trying to do a project together, and ultimately You know, the, the need became obvious that, that people need something more positive to look at as people are starting to get deeper in their anxiety and their panic mode. And, uh, you know, I can see that this is really going to be a reboot for a lot of people. I mean, it's not just financially, but even internally where people are, you know, like my— I mean, I'm a person who likes to go out dancing a lot, take dance classes. I like to, uh, just be social, you know, karaoke, to, uh, to just be online, you know, all kinds of sort of very, you know, just sort of outward, outward things. And so this is all about becoming more internal. And I think for people to become much more introspective and to see what sort of skills you really have. I mean, like, you know, this is about learning how to cook, how to grow things, how to save. People are going to have to learn a lot of things that, that, that maybe that weren't so strong on the list before. The other thing which I really find fascinating, and I'm very hopeful, is that people are gonna come together more. Ultimately, we've been a very divided country in a lot of ways, and now it's really gonna be about, even though we're isolated, we are going to rely on each other more.

I think that's kind of the ironic part, is that we're being urged to be socially distancing ourselves, but in doing so, it's almost creating a community out of it. Isn't that odd?

God, I hate that term. I hate that we had to come up with a term for these things, but I don't want to lose sight of what you just said. And Reg, you know, I know, particularly both of you, but like what we've been going through, a lot of businesses, especially a lot of small businesses, self-employed people, I mean, we're up against it. Our revenue stream went from whatever it was to zero in a week, right? Right. And yet you still had the courage to say, you know, there's something I can do, there's something I can contribute. I mean, a lot of people are sitting around wringing their hands and crying in their beer right now. Instead, you built a production studio in your home and got this thing up and going. Yeah, that's terrific.

Well, I mean, ultimately, I definitely want to make use of all of the equipment and all of the energy that I have and put it to use, you know, trying to help people with whatever I can do, whatever any of us can do. Is what we bring to our friends and our community. And I think that this is a way for us to get some wisdom, some insight, to understand that we all are suffering at different levels, different financial levels. I mean, this is kind of an equalizer in a lot of ways. Certainly people who have nothing and people who have a lot are on the extreme side, but I think the rest of us are going to end up being a little bit more kind of brought together. And, uh, so in a way, it's just— it's interesting how I think it'll play out on those levels. Um, you know, who knows if there's a 3-month thing or a year or 5-year situation. I mean, because even if it gets solved, there's going to be the residual effects of this.

Oh, we're going to have some digging out to do, right? And 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. I just saw a story where I think that— what the heck did they say? I think you couldn't withstand a $400 expense, right? An immediate expense, 60% of Americans. That's tough. Out of cash is what they said.

It is tough, and I think that that's a big part of it, is that there is, you know, there already were a lot of people with anxiety. Now add this, and it's crippling for a lot of people. Then you add on PTSD and you add on so many different, you know, we were talking also about people who are in recovery and how difficult that must be for people who are living at their homes and they're in recovery and how are they keeping themselves going and holding on to that?

Well, I'm glad you brought that up because, you know, spirit of full disclosure, I know Tori and you've shared some challenges, you've had some challenges in your life. And you strike me always as one of the most positive people and you're always trying to reach out and help other people. What can you offer someone who might not have as rosy a disposition as you? How do you get through those challenges and come out, you know—

So I think what you're referring to is that—

With a smile on your face.

I had been married to somebody who had some big issues with addiction. You know, I just think you just keep going. I remember, it's funny, I'm not trying to name-drop here, but one time I had to introduce Barbara Walters at a speaking event.

Oh, you can name-drop.

And I was like 9 months pregnant and she said, "Oh, dear." Oh, now I'm doing my Julia Child voice. Wrong voice. But I said to her, I said to her, she said, "Oh, my dear, are you?" "Are you about to give birth?" or something like that. She said, "Oh, shock!" She goes, "Is this your first?" And I said, "No, actually it's my fourth." And she was— she just didn't know what to say. She was just, you know, and she said, "How do you do it?" And I said, "Barbara, paralysis by analysis." And I kind of think that that's a credo. I mean, there's nothing against— you know, I think analysis is very good, but just as that says, I think sometimes it can really be paralyzing, and I think that that goes kind of hand in hand with anxiety. And I think that if we can use this as a tool to reach people who are in that situation where they feel, you know, when I was going through it, I was anchoring the news in Boston, and I didn't— couldn't tell a soul because I felt like, who could I tell? Everybody wanted my job. So —But you're not all alone. That's the piece, is there are a lot of people who— it's almost like, don't flatter yourself, honey. There are a lot of people going through a lot of things. If you want to find somebody worse off than you, just look and you'll find them. —Absolutely. If you open up that front door on any number of those houses along the way, it may look like a mansion, but there's a lot of trouble behind those doors.

—That's what I always say. It's so funny, and I've caught myself saying this from time to time, "It can't get any worse." That's exactly the moment when it gets worse.

Well, yesterday I went for a walk with a friend of mine. His name is Zoo Cain, and he is a— he's really an icon in the AA world. So a lot of people who really attributed their sobriety to him, you know, he's 27, 28 years sober at this point. But, you know, he was— we went for a walk around Deering Oaks because he was setting up a meeting at noon in the gazebo there because the church had closed and then people are going to bring their lawn chairs.

Nice.

A number of people were going to basically stay home and do the Zoom thing. And so we talked about trying to find another space inside. I contacted the Salvation Army and that sort of thing. And then yesterday he just said, we're just all going to do the Zoom. But ultimately it's— and as we were talking, we walked past a man that was, he said it was, this man's on his last legs. This man walking past us has got 6 months, 'cause he was an older guy, he was really, you know, he was kind of a tragic looking dude. And it was sort of like, you know, Zoo's just an example of somebody who's just trying to do everything he can to help somebody. And so, you know, we, You know, we just talked about that man for a while, and Zoo went off to try to find the man. Yeah. So I don't know where that ended up, but it was, you know, it would— so just long and short of is we're all doing our thing. We're all trying to reconfigure to make it work. And certainly for people in recovery, it's extremely difficult. But I also think there's a lot of mental health issues that are deepening and are going to reveal themselves. You know, for a lot of people, the anxiety and a lot of stuff is gonna come out. And I think that that's, that's a whole other category that, that, you know, people just need to be aware of how to sort of be isolated and not, and just be so absorbed with the news that's nothing but bad. And who's the latest person that's got the virus? You know, it's, that's the kind of stuff that's really gonna eat away at people. That's a good place.

Let's pick that up after the break because that's an important point. Okay, we'll be right back with Tori Ryden and Reg Groff. The Great Reboot. The Great Reboot. We'll be right back.

How about some good news? News and conversations with people who are making a real difference and showing us all how we can make the most of this difficult situation. The Great Reboot. It's the creation of Tori Ryden and Reg Groff.

Their idea is simple. The effect is profound.

Right now you can watch all the episodes of The Great Reboot on Facebook and YouTube. Just search for The Great Reboot and of course make sure you subscribe so you'll know when they post new episodes. We can all use a bit of good news and positive mindset these days. Thank you, Reg and Tori, for being such incredible leaders. The research is bombproof. People perform at their best when and only when they know their leaders care, when they know their work has meaning, and when they have the chance to learn, grow, and develop. To accomplish this, we need to connect with the people we serve, the people who trust in our leadership. Leaders today need emotional intelligence, strong interpersonal skills, and an accurate sense of self-awareness. I'm Jim Bouchard, leadership activist and founder of the Sensei Leader Movement. The sensei enjoys a very special relationship with students. It's one built on respect, trust, and loyalty. Loyalty, and these are also a leader's most valuable assets. I help you build these relationships. I work with you to help you inspire, empower, and guide your people to their very best. That's what the best leaders do, and that's what the Sensei does. My job is to help you be the Sensei so you can lead your people to their very best and yours.

Executive coaching, workshops, corporate training, Visit thesenseileader.com or call 207-751-4317 today to learn more.

First, there's two things that, that you inspired in me when you were talking. First thing is we can't let people drift off by themselves. We've got to pay attention, right? We've got to, we've got to reach out, really. And we all have people like that in our lives. Every one of us has people like that in our lives or people around us. That we might not know yet. Good opportunity, right? From 6 feet away or so. But the other thing is that some of these acts that, you know, and God, I'm so moved by these smallest acts. And I don't mean small in quality because they are the biggest impact of acts. Just a small act of caring, spending a little time, like you said, your friend just reaching out to find that guy that you saw walking. I mean, how huge uses that. That might be the only point of contact that guy has with anybody that cares about him. I mean, that's unbelievable.

Yeah. And you never know how a story is going to change. Right. You know, I think—

That guy could have walked off a bridge that day. Instead, maybe he's got some hope right now.

Right. Just somebody— and I think the whole idea of even asking anybody, wherever they are, "Hey, how you doing?" What's wrong with that, right? What's wrong with just saying—

you know, somebody was talking about this the other day where they were afraid to ask, "Do you need anything?" Because they're afraid it might be an insult to them. I said, "Well, what's the harm in asking?" A person can always say, "No, I'm good." What's the harm in asking?

Or, "Hey, I hope you don't mind, I just wanted to offer if there's anything I could do for you." You can always reframe it, right? Do it a little bit differently.

The flip side is that some people just, you know, are so caught up in their own stuff that they don't know that they really want to take on the responsibility for putting it out there.

Which is understandable.

Right, because we're all stressed and to the brink. And so it's very hard, I think, for a lot of people, not everybody, but a lot of people to just sort of start thinking about others when they're so self-focused. And of course what they The irony there is, is that the more you help other people, the more you help yourself because you get, you stop thinking about your own pain. You know, you start thinking about your own, you know, your brain's in that loop. The worry is so constant and it's when you distract yourself with something positive that all kinds of things can unglue for yourself.

You know, it's sad in a way. I mean, because this is an audio podcast, you guys can't see what I'm looking at and Tori and Reg both are just grinning ear to ear. And for them to reach out like this— and no, I agree with you too. And I've had my moments, I admit it. I think it's foolish for people to say, "Oh no, it's not bothering me at all." I worry about that person. What do they say? It's an old phrase: "Courage is not the absence of fear, the absence of fear is stupidity." And people, particularly for leaders, right? If leaders are not showing some concern, they're not showing a little vulnerability, then they're going to be seen, and probably are, callous, right? Uncaring, insensitive, or self-centered.

Well, we're seeing it every day, Jim. And that's kind of— I think it's really important for those of us who can rise up and be leaders to do that, because we're seeing some faltering. At the top. And I think that, you know, compassion is number one, and it goes from there. I mean, if you, if you do anything with a good heart, it's all going to work out, right? Not to sound Pollyanna, but I mean, you know, you lead with a good heart and a good vision, so the rest is going to follow.

No, I'm glad you said that, because we're also not saying, you know, go out in front of your people and fall apart every day. That's, that's not good leadership either. Sometimes we have to screw on a confident face. Yeah, but Be vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm scared too." It's how you say it, right?

You know, there's the Prime Minister in Ireland. If you haven't had the chance to watch his address, it's unbelievable. And the way that he addresses and he says that, "I'm afraid too," and his cadence and his honesty and all of it, it really kind of wells you up. I mean, it's really right there on the surface and it just makes you feel like, "Okay, you know what? This guy understands and he's leading and okay, good." It just kind of— if you get a chance, Google it. But what I wanted to say just about what we're doing is that I think one of the big pieces is finding different ways to reach people. And so that's why you're such a great guest and why we have—

Oh, you're too kind, but I appreciate it.

We have guests who are bringing different pieces to this who will touch somebody. And that's the thing about social media. We're all kind of, "Ah, social media," but at the same time, "Ah, social media." We're able to use this— in a way that, you know, we're going to have a bunch of these segments. And the hope is that one or all, or, you know, part and parcel of each, will reach people in a way to help calm and clarify and, you know, lower anxiety and just inspire. You know, what you always talk about— inspiration, giving tools to people where they can find out information. I mean, yeah, you know, that's That's really— Share the good stuff.

I mean, sharing the good stuff. Share Tori and Reg's show. These are the things that need to be shared more. It's too easy, we get into this mode sometimes, the term internet balls, right? I mean, people can just air it out online and they're not gonna get punched in the face, right? And that allows people to share the most drastic, gloomy things and the blame right now. I mean, how can anybody blame anybody for this at this point? You know, 10 years from now we may find, oh, there's the guy who did this, right? But right now we don't know.

I mean, let's roll up our sleeves instead and get going. Blame is a waste of time at this point.

And to be supportive, and like I said, be supportive of Tori and Reg and what they're doing. Uh, hit the share button for this, you know, not, not for, you know, the latest blast that somebody took at somebody anybody else. Right.

Look, there are wisdoms of the ages that we need to look back to, right? What can we learn from the Great Depression era? We talk about relatives, grandparents having mason jars, growing things, saving things, fixing things. We have a disposable society. Everything gets thrown away because it's cheaper to buy it than fix it. Gets, you know, if it just— things get really scary and tough, people just need to embrace that, but embrace it with a can-do attitude. Yeah, you have to embrace it with bold courage. You know, that when times are tough, the tough get tougher, you know. I mean, you just have to, you know, I think, I think again it comes back to both mental health and then just a can-do attitude. Yeah, you know, not to be a victim, but to look at this this as total opportunity to get re-centered to what's important and how you want to live your life.

And we're not, we're not victims. I mean, this, this is something I wish people would understand this more. This is something that just happens. It's nature. And it's how you respond to things, right?

And so I think that what Reg just said about pushing the restart button, we have that opportunity. You know, what are some of the ways we want to work on ourselves? We have that chance right now. We have that opportunity to be kinder or to get outside and take more walks or etc. I mean, the list goes on. To grow. To grow. To check in on more people, communicate, follow through with pledges to email or, you know, share funny things.

Did you see that beautiful video Alex was sharing that Diane, for those who know, she's the executive director here at Sensei Leader Movement, and she found this video from Italy when they locked down one of the northern cities. You saw that? Go ahead, you tell the story, it's so beautiful.

Well, you know, what do you do? You're not allowed to leave your apartment, so what did musicians do? They picked up— one started with a violin, and it was absolutely beautiful. And I know, Reggie, you're nodding your head, you've seen this as well, and it's just absolutely beautiful. And then you see apartment windows, those beautiful Venetian windows being opened up, and then somebody picks up a guitar and then a tambourine and a piano, and it goes on, and they're all playing music to one another and to everybody and sharing.

Yeah, I'm getting emotional thinking about it.

Flashback situation from an apartment. Well, the other similarity I wanted to mention is that, you know, when people are suddenly struck with a major illness, cancer or something, and they start looking at cement walls a little bit different, like, I'm never gonna see them again. As my buddy Zoo would say, like, you know, when you just start appreciating everything. And, you know, here's a case where hopefully we don't get sick from this, and if we do, hopefully we'll survive it. But in a sense, we're all now in that same sort space of having to look at mortality, having to look at how to stay healthy, and as if we're suddenly faced with a major life disease that we suddenly have. And so again, we all have to face our maker at some point and we have to come in. So at that point, we never know how we're going to face it. Not that we're all going to have courage because a lot of people are faking the courage just to get by. We're all afraid. Yeah. But it's sort of, but there are lessons that we can look at other people and just other ways of just realizing that we're not, that this is a chance for everybody to take a step up and get stronger. But we don't necessarily, we're not necessarily riddled with cancer. We're not necessarily—

To appreciate, I love what you're saying. Yeah. There's that old Buddhist exercise One of my masters taught us, it's contemplating your own death, and literally to the point where you see yourself buried in the ground, being eaten by worms, right? And people don't understand the power of that. The power of that, you know, when you think about that, it's not a morbid thing at all. It causes you to come back and refocus and appreciate, right? The very next breath, the very next day. Exactly. Yeah, and that's, you know, again, God, I hope this doesn't sound I don't want to sound trite because I don't— it shouldn't. That's what you're doing. And what you've done with this action, and I can't emphasize it enough, nobody asked these guys to do this. When Tori called me and told me what you guys were up to, I just thought it was amazing. Nobody asked you to do it. Nobody's funding you. Nobody threw money at you.

Not yet, Jim, but we are very willing to accept. —segues. Well, you know, or barter.

Let's tell people something. Let's tell people how they can get in touch with you, where the show's going to be, and all that good stuff. So that— and, uh, do you have a GoFundMe going at this point, something like that? Not yet.

No, no. I mean, you know, the next step for us is we get these episodes shot. I mean, depending upon when this runs to when you run, you know, we're going to end up putting segments online, creating social media, um, uh, you know, groups for all of the various entities out there and just, just basically start sharing and start watching it, creating content, just creating content. And as we— like any program, as you develop, you, you can— the message and how we hone our message will develop over the conversations because it always leads to something, right? And of course, as the crisis deepens or that things start to get better, um, it's going to impact even the stories that we have, you know? Sure.

So, and I do hope you're We're going to keep it going after this because we always have to reboot it some way.

Well, there are going to be many different ways we have to reboot it. And I think, you know, from anxiety and all the high levels, I mean, that doesn't just come down overnight. You know, these are things that we're going to have to be working on for a while. But I do want to underscore, you know, we started this because we saw a need, and we really do feel that it is— we both are very fortunate, all of us are fortunate, because When you're given gifts, right, you know, you come into this world and when you're given these gifts and you need to use them, you know, it is incumbent upon you to use them. Reg and I have never worked together before, so here's our debut. And we both— it just hit a sweet spot and we just decided, let's do this and let's see what we can do with this and how many people hopefully we can help through this.

That's a perfect example, two good people coming together who might not have otherwise.

And now 3. And 3, right, right.

Again, you're too kind, but I do appreciate it.

You know, but I, I am a firm believer again that if you're doing the right thing, everything else will fall into place. And if you're doing it with the right heart and an open mind, it'll all take care of itself.

That's why I like hanging out with you. Always inspire me. Yeah, but let's tell people how to get in touch with you.

We've got to do that. Yeah, yeah. So, uh, ultimately, my, my email—

the one to I had to ruin that good moment.

We're all crying, Jim.

Uh, well, my email is regfilm@gmail.com, and, uh, and ultimately that's, uh, the way to reach us. And then, uh, this— the show is The Great Reboot, and so, uh, uh, you'll— we'll be having, you know, we'll be searchable soon, and that we're gonna— we're gonna continue shooting episodes. We've We've done, this is our second day this week. We'll do one or two days next week and interview a number of people. And then at some point we were looking at going live, doing the interviews live. Cool. We've got a switcher set up to do that. Just didn't have enough internet speed to work. So at some point we may try to do these live with graphics and all that jazz. But even if not, I've gotta still edit the, I'll have to edit these pieces anyway.

But I'm glad you said that 'cause I wanna throw a plug in for you too. You know, there's a lot of people with a lot of video projects sitting on a shelf that could probably use some expert editing and some expert production. Send your files to Reg and he'll help you out, right?

Right. No, I, I, uh, you know, I love staying busy and ultimately, uh, I mean, 40 years of production, I mean, since I was 15 making movies to 55 now, um, you know, a lot of experience.

So I've done a lot of quality work at reasonable rates, right?

And I love telling stories. I mean, I do a lot of documentary work days. It's— this is just— I mean, we're telling stories now. It's just an extension of what I normally do.

Very cool. And that we share that, just coming at it a little bit differently. I was in the news business for over 30-some-odd years and anchoring and reporting and loving, you know, it's the storytelling. And that's what this is. This is the storytelling through the interview. And the other thing I would recommend— I'll give my email to me just in case they don't, it doesn't work through yours for whatever reason, it's just my name, torryryden@gmail.com. So it's just T-O-R-Y-R-Y-D-E-N@gmail.com. I'd also encourage folks if they have an idea, if they have somebody they know who might be a really good guest on our web program, that would be great. Our social media platforms and all of that. But hopefully we'll get to a point where we can do some Skyping. And if anybody wanted to send us a video question, we could feature you that way also. So just, you know, shoot it to us. We're wide open. I mean, that's the great thing. We're at the beginning, so help us help you. Righto, righto.

So thank you guys so much for being with us today.

I appreciate it. Thank you very much. All right, Jim, thank you.

What an honor. Thanks. Best of luck to you. Again, you're too kind.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Walking the Walk. Please like and share. Our mission at the Sensei Leader Movement is to support and develop human-centric leaders. Leaders who put people first. Leaders who inspire, empower, and guide people to their very best. Be part of the movement. Join and access all our free resources by visiting thesenseileader.com. To book Jim or host your own event, call us at 207-751-4317.