Jim Bouchard argues that Americans tolerate only views matching their own, and social media amplifies incivility. He proposes five assumptions for civil conversation: recognize different perspectives exist, accept others' entitlement to opinions, presume rational reasons behind stances, understand silence isn't agreement, and separate facts from emotions in arguments.
Civility and respect might not be dead, but they're definitely on life support. With all the highly emotionally charged issues facing us today, is there any way we can have a civil conversation? Is there any way we can have a meaningful debate without wanting to kill each other? Social media makes it even worse. You can act like a complete jerk You say things there you'd never say face-to-face. If our society is going to survive, especially with another political cycle coming up, we'd better get back to some degree of civility and respect. Nearly everyone in America will tell you, "It's okay to have a different opinion." What they really mean is, "It's okay for you to have an opinion as long as it doesn't conflict with mine." Some say diversity makes us stronger. Bullshit. Our differences don't make us stronger. They make us interesting. The fact that we can usually live and work together despite our differences makes us stronger. But in order to respect one another's differences, we've got to practice civility. I know conventional wisdom says never to assume, because when you do, you make an ass out of you and me. But if you want to live in peace with people, especially the people you disagree with, there are some assumptions you've got to make. I came up with these 5 assumptions to help keep the peace. Number 1: Assume that not everyone shares your point of view. Whether you're right or wrong, you can assume that someone Everyone is going to disagree. 2. Assume that the other guy is entitled to his opinion. Because he is. 3. Assume that the other person has a rational reason for his opinion. Whether he does or not. 4. Silence does not always confirm agreement. The other guy might just be keeping his mouth shut because he thinks you're a complete ass and he's too polite to point it out. 5. Assume that everyone is entitled to two things: thoughts and feelings. And you can't argue thoughts and feelings. You can only argue facts. When the debate is over a clear issue of right or wrong, it's usually not hard to stick to the facts. The problem is that our most emotional debates are not usually over matters of right versus wrong. They're over matters of right versus right. Just because I'm right doesn't make you wrong. If we're going to find some real answers, we've got to find solutions that respect each of our values. And that's only going to happen if we can once again learn how to treat one another with civility. Credibility and respect.
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