Find YOUR Holy Grail!

Very special treat today. It's always a special treat, isn't it? But a brand new dear friend, uh, who I met just a few weeks ago, she started this wonderful project called Finding Your Holy Grail, and her name is Mandy Simon. And she's just put together this incredible package, like I said, of speakers and thought leaders and authors and folks from all different walks of life who are sharing ideas, uh, not just, uh, you know, how to get through the current challenges, but how to level up your life and get things going in the right direction at any time, I think it'd be very valuable. Anyway, you're going to hear all about that in just a second. But even more impressive, I guess, is that she did all this in her, I want to say, spare time while she's working on the front lines of the COVID epidemic. And that's where she's coming from. She's at work today. She said she's hiding out. So if you hear a little background noise, that's because she just brought us right into the front lines. Here's my new friend, Mandy. Mandy, thanks for coming today.

Hi, Jim. Thank you so much for having me join you. It's such a pleasure.

Oh, no, it's an honor. Absolutely. So let's talk a little bit about finding your holy grail and how you decided to come up with this whole adventure. Like you needed something else to do, right?

Yeah, sure. Well, you know, it's an idea that I had thought about writing a course last year and I created a 4-week online course that I never actually did anything with. And it was all about looking at how is your inner self aligned with your our outer world. And when this whole thing happened with the pandemic, and I was working on the front lines of medicine as a healthcare provider, I felt like we had, we had to figure out a way to not get stuck in this and have this always be our story and how to move forward. And it's related to that course in the sense that if we're consciously aware of our choices each day, then this is how we figure out how to go forward. And so I focused on living with Without Fear and Building Resilience. And I looked for a group of people like yourself who could speak to the audience about this very thing.

We are so cool. It was such an honor to be a part of it. And, uh, I think, uh, you said earlier, I think the episode I'm on is going to air tomorrow if you're watching live, because this is May 26th. If you're watching on the replay, it'll be available once you sign up there. We'll put up the website in just a second. Uh, you'll be able to access all these things. As always, hey, chime in if you've got questions, comments, ideas, anything you'd like to join in with the conversation. And, uh, just wanted to say a quick hi, Angie. Thank you so much for joining us today. Always a pleasure to see you. Hope everything's going great down there in Texas, and, uh, hope you're still there. I think you're in Texas. And so there you go. Yeah, so anyway, I was joking about your spare time. I mean, really, you had enough to do. I mean, you're on the front lines of this, this pandemic. You're rolling up your sleeves, and you got that— you could Talk a little bit about that because you got back into practice. You were teaching and lecturing and doing things like that. You dove right back in both feet, huh?

Yeah, so I mean, part of my job is that I work as a clinician. I work as a nurse practitioner. And our hospital had some needs of setting up a COVID unit and basically doing it overnight. And I was working in a different state for a different organization because I'm licensed in a couple states. But that said, I spent 400 years or 400 hours a year traveling back and forth.

Felt like 400 years, right?

I know. Between the UK, London, England, and Boston, Massachusetts mainly. And so, yeah, I've been here on the ground since March 16th, seeing patients since March 31st, and I think I've had 3 days off in the last 55.

You know, that's amazing. Part of what we talk about here at Sensei Leader Movement is the idea that First of all, leadership has nothing to do with a rank or a title or a position of authority. It's people who see what needs doing and they do it. And we, you know, that's one of the key characteristics and always appreciate when people step up like you did.

Well, I think this is one of the things that you and I talked about, right, is that if you're not going to do this now, when are you going to do it? Because this is the time when it's completely unprecedented. Nobody knows their way through and it's our job job to figure out that path. And whether we're leading it or we're just shoulder to shoulder in it, it doesn't make a bit of difference.

You know, that's why it's funny that you brought that up, because that's one of the things we've been exploring. I know a lot of people are feeling, you know, a sense of uncertainty and a sense of unfamiliarity, but there are some things, you know, for those of us— I won't reveal my age right now, but I've been around for a while— and You know, I've learned that while we don't know the exact situation that we're facing all the time, we can reach back to our past, right? And we can access some situations that are familiar, at least in the effect, if not in the cause, huh? Yeah. I'm always wondering, is— are there some things that you experienced in your, in your life before this that helped you prepare for this situation, that helped you really, you know, move forward with the way you have?

I think there's no question. And I think that all of us have been spending our lives preparing for this in some way or another. It depends on if we're able to glean in our own perspective as to whether that's true or not. I think that there's nothing in this life that I can't handle. I think that there are lots of things that I've dealt with that I would never have expected to deal with. But I think from a very young age, I was raised in rural Colorado. I was raised on a working ranch with a single mother in the 1970s. And we had wood heat and well water, and we grew our own food, and we had a dairy farm, and everything was about— it comes from everything that we had to do on the course of a day, depended on us to do it. And so we didn't have television, we didn't have these types of things. And what it does is it teaches you a real sense of responsibility and a real sense of ownership. And I think that that has always been with me.

Yeah, I think I'm going to go back and read, uh, my Thoreau a little bit, you know, on self-reliance and all that good stuff. There's good lessons that we could pull up these days.

People say this all the time, they bring up this idea of Thoreau and Walden and all of these types of things where it's really about what have been the themes of our lives as we've gone forward and how do we find the place where we are. To me, if we all get stuck in as a civilization, as the last conversation that we have that says, well, I remember life before the pandemic, then we have no ability to move forward. And this is why I created Finding Your Holy Grail as the over 20-speaker series to help us move forward without fear and with resilience. And how we build that comes from within. And that's what many of the conversations are about.

Right, and it does get tricky for some people because we talk about self-reliance, we're not talking about isolation. I mean, that's, that's an entirely different subject. In fact, you know, self-reliance has a component of healthy dependency, not, not unhealthy codependency.

This is why people are so traumatized in some ways through the social distancing. It's physical distancing. Right, right. It's physical distancing. It's not social distancing. If anything, we should all be on the platforms as much as possible connecting to each other because as a civilization, we are— we have a pack mentality. We work together as people. This is what allows us to move forward and thrive.

Yeah, no, I hear you. I hate that term. I hate that term, the new normal. I mean, I'm a Confucianist myself, so the only change is change. Change, right? The only certainty is change, and people have to rely on that. I think we get lulled into a sense of complacency from time to time when things are going well, and it takes a situation like this to really wake us up again. And again, that's what you're trying to do with this series too. So you've got— talk about some of the folks. Who's your favorite besides me? No, you don't have to do that.

You are by far the favorite. For anyone that has just joined, yours is tomorrow. Your, uh, your video airs tomorrow, so definitely join us, uh, in time to watch that. I mean, the truth is, is that what I think is so incredibly phenomenal is that I am just an everyday person, right? I have recognition in my own, uh, my own world, but what I did is I sent out an email to a whole bunch of people that have huge presence as speakers, as New York Times bestselling authors, as TED speakers, on and on and on. You all have had organizations. I think you've had yours for 30 years. This is how long you've been, you know, doing this kind of work. And I sent an email and you guys responded. And when you did, you said, I want to help. It really resonated with you in a way that as the speakers that said this is an important space to enter into. And it's really the collective of us as the group of people that created this. It's not just me because you are the reason that the vision works and the viewers are the reason that the vision has impact. And this is what's so very important is to understand this interdependency is just real and it's with all things.

You know, you're really striking a chord there because this idea that sometimes we can get overwhelmed by the uncertainty or the crisis that's going on and we forget that one of the key components, I think, in really mitigating the effect of it, because I embrace uncertainty. I mean, uncertainty is where the opportunity is. That's what challenges us. That's what helps us grow. But to be more comfortable with it, right, and to move forward with it. We do need to reach out and help. I mean, to me, that's one of the— ask for help. That's one of the big steps that I always advise people: reach out and ask. Kathy Johnson has an interesting question.

Well, she does. And I was just seeing her last comment that says, "Just noting how surviving tough times prepares us for upcoming tough times." Oh, thanks for sharing that, Kathy. Yeah, I think this is so profound, and it's really exactly the point of this conversation. Yeah. Wonderful to have you here.

Oh, that's good advice. In fact, as I told you, I was just doing a webinar this morning where one of the topics of conversation that came up was, you know, that we have great stories. And again, you're sharing— I know a lot of the people on your series are sharing stories from their past, right? To share stories of similarities. This is how I got through my darkest moments. I know you asked me a lot of questions about mine, but those are the things that we can turn to. Like I said, the cause, we don't know exactly what's coming over the horizon. We don't know when and if the asteroid is going to hit or whatever else, whatever disaster they're preparing us for. But the effects are very familiar when we allow ourselves to look back a little bit.

It's very important. And I think, you know, I'm reading Kathy's comment, for example, and one of our speakers, Dr. Ava Brown, who went first on the air, um, on May 18th, you know, it was this this whole thing where, you know, she had had lots of harrowing experiences essentially as a young girl, and she just kept focusing on light, and she let that light lead her. And that light was a self-defined space for her to figure it out. And the thing that I love so much about all of, um, and all of the speakers is that each of you have a story, right? And I have a story. Every single person on this planet has story. And it's how we choose to look at the perspective and be able to say, this is what I've learned from it, so that I can operationalize these lessons and become a resilient, self-propelling individual that does require connection to make meaningful relationships, to work forward and move together with other people. And this is something that we can't do it alone. It has to be together, but we all come at it from a space of aloneness where we've had a single experience that no one can relate to.

Yes, that's always a conundrum, isn't it? And it's funny because sometimes when people bring that up to me, one of the terms, one of the common terms people say, "I can't imagine," right? Fill in the blank. "I can't imagine." I said, "Well, especially for leaders, I mean, I think it's our responsibility to imagine what other people are going through." And sometimes we don't have to imagine because people share the stories. Certainly in our age, I know cinema has kind of replaced the written word in a lot of people's lives, but we have books, we have movies, we have great stories, we have access to all these things, right? And I think that's something we need to do. I may not have walked exactly in your shoes, but I believe it's my obligation to imagine and to try to understand the best I can what your journey is.

And I think you know, for me working on the front lines of the COVID virus pandemic is that, you know, we can't really understand what the families are feeling that can't be at the hospital to see their loved ones and to do these types of things. But the bottom line is, is that it is my job to try to have some understanding of that, to try to create connection between the patients and their families, even if it's just through video calling, even if it's through me having a conversation with the family to update them each day. There's so many pieces that we as human beings are responsible for in terms of how we nurture the rest of us, right? It's not just us, but it's how we nurture the rest of us that allows us to care well for ourselves.

Right. And there's the website for people that want to access the series, findingyourholygrail.com. All they need to do is go on there and log on, right? Create an account, then they have access to these things.

Yeah, they just put in their email address, and then for these 20 days, they'll receive each day a new speaker with a little bit of about 200 words of text to tell you about the speaker. What I've done is, I mean, the space is completely free, and so every 6 days or so, I go in and, um, and actually send out an email that says, if you missed any of the interviews, here, here's where you get them. And I've— and, uh, you're going to get a copy of your own interview to post wherever you'd like, um, you know, after your interview airs. And so this is really just— this belongs to the world.

We appreciate that. We'll put that in our resource section, obviously, so people can, can find you. I, you know, I've been dying to ask you this question. This is a huge project. So what's next? You're gonna pull another stunt like this, or what?

I don't know, you know, people People say this to me all the time, and the truth is, is I think this is a really nice opportunity to share with the viewers that I think it's important for us to recognize that we're not in a sprint and we're not in a marathon, but we're in an ultra-marathon. And when I say this, I think this is quite important because this is a virus, which is the same thing as what the flu is. And at the end of the day, there will be another lockdown. And when there is another lockdown, people will have thought about this a little bit, but they're going to have to think about it again. So nobody knows what the new normal is, but what I do know is that when it comes next, you know, there's probably going to be a follow-up series to this because I expect the— at least to the guidance from the epidemiologic perspective would be around flu season of this year, we could pretty much expect that we'd be in another lockdown.

Well, I hope not. I hope we find a better way to manage it because that's, you know, the unintended consequences of it are so devastating right now, right? And I don't want to diminish that. So many people are, um, you know, we deal with a lot of folks, especially small, small business people right now who are going through such hardship and really losing their livelihoods and in some cases their homes, their businesses. It's a terrible thing. Hopefully we'll find— Alex is working working behind the scenes, she's always bringing in some—

I love this question that Alex has. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I mean, the way I think of this really is that resilience is all about your perspective and your reaction. And your ability to be resilient in life depends on how you coin something that happens to you. So from your perspective, is this the worst possible thing that's ever happened to you? Or can you find some light in this to guide you forward? And then your reaction to this is really how you choose to react to something in life is the only control you have in life. This is the way that I think of it. And I think, Jim, you and I talked about this in your interview specifically. Um, and everybody has a different definition of that. I mean, Kathy Johnson is saying that she defines this practically as being grateful for every moment, right? And so, you know, this is, this is one of these things that we as individuals can make our story however we want to make our story. What is your story? What do you self-identify with? That's your perspective, and you can change that perspective, and that will create either a very strong, resilient individual or a very in-need, weak individual, depending on how you choose to look at that.

I couldn't agree more. And, you know, the idea is that we do need to go through these challenges in order to develop that resilience. It doesn't happen in a vacuum, right? And so you're, you're exactly right. How do you respond to it? And how do you reach out and get the help that you need, get the advice that you need? It's all around us.

It is all around us.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is all around us. Yeah. And your platform, we've got to put that up again because obviously your platform is a great resource It's, you know, it's been incredible to see the comments of the viewers as well, to just say how helpful this is to them. And, um, you know, the questions that I'm asking each of you are questions that the feedback I'm getting is that these are the questions people at home are really wishing I would ask. And so somehow I've been able to tap into what are the questions that people are really wanting to know at this time. And, um, And it's a beautiful space. It's been such a— I'm so grateful for this experience, and I'm so grateful for having the ability to be able to put it together during this time and to have the support that came forward to make it possible.

Now, when you hit two things that really create an intersection, you know, this idea of gratitude— to me, that's a, you know, I'm not one of these attitude of gratitude, lollipops and rainbows guys. It's— I've learned that it's a a practical thing. It's an inventory. When you practice gratitude, it helps you focus on the things that you have, the things that you can control, and obsess a little less over the things you can't. And I think we're pretty much singing in harmony on that. You have a nicer way to say it probably than I do.

Yeah, well, I didn't spend so many years in the dojo, right? I didn't have to get right to the point right away. I could use my words a little bit a little bit longer.

So yeah, well, you weren't getting punched in the face when you were trying to philosophize, right?

Yeah, yeah. And you know, I honestly— Kathy is bringing up a really good point here where she's saying that immediate reactions after childhood trauma are not by choice. And I think this is true of everything. I think this is true for the moment that we're in. And it is important though for us to understand that the power is within us to choose this, even if it doesn't feel this way, because I've had plenty of scenarios. You know, I was, I was 40 years old when I had to have an open heart surgery from, um, you know, a congenital defect that I was born with. And it came out of nowhere that the surgery was required. And, you know, at the time I was in grad school, I was working on a cardiology floor. I was an employee. I became the patient. It was a really traumatizing and incredible experience to go through. And it doesn't matter how much information you have, you feel victimized by it. And, you know, this is just one of the many things that any of us has ever dealt with. But I still remember a friend of mine saying to me, she thought the most incredible aspect of me during this experience is she said, this experience will never define you. You will define this experience. And she said it was because of my perspective of how I was going into it. And this really gave me pause, and I was so appreciative of her to give me that feedback at the time. It was very useful for my forward decision-making.

Oh, that's an incredible story, and also, you know, Kathy brings up something interesting too. She's concerned with the fallout from the isolation due to the shutdown. We've been talking a lot about that too, right, that people have to be very careful not to allow— and again, I agree with you with that idea of social distancing. We're physically distancing, we need to stay social. I guess all I could add to that is we have to make sure that we reach out, and reach out to some people who you might not think have access.

No, it's nice. I think it's a nice way to look at it, actually. And, and truthfully, you said this, you said don't go it alone.

No, that would— I, I don't want to. I don't know about you, I don't want to. Here's a great question. Yeah, I'm going to echo Alex's point on this. You know, how do you maintain your own resilience as a frontline healthcare professional? And thank you, by the way. Absolutely.

Alex, thank you. I think for me, I have a lot of daily practices that I carry forward. So I make sure that I continue to do that. But I think also I truly recognize that we wouldn't be in this unless we were somehow able as a civilization to deal with this. And we have to find this in ourselves each day. And it's going to look different for everyone. But it is true for me every day. And I have a role to play on the front lines. And I don't entirely understand it every day.

I'm so glad, you know, I'm glad in a way to hear you say that, not the part about not knowing how to deal with it, because we all have those moments, I'm sure, but that idea that we are going to get through this. What really has bothered me lately, and again, this is one of the great blessings that you put together this program, because there are so many voices out there, and I understand, you know, if it bleeds, it leads, it's the media business, but there's so much negativity and so many people that are worried that nothing is ever going to return to any semblance of normal, and that we're going to be in this constant state of chaos forever. We're not. I mean, for God's sake, I mean, turn to the stories and listen to the people who lived through World War II and lived through these things. And most recently, I know a lot of people have forgotten about it, but during 9/11, there were a lot of changes people had to deal with. We're going to get through this, no question, no question.

Yeah, and it's, you know, it's going to look however we decide it's going to look, but we must be intentional.

Yeah, amen. Right? That's— and isn't that a difficult thing to do sometimes though, right? It feels like you're on the roller coaster that's getting out of control, right?

Yeah. I mean, you asked me before this, you know, how's it going? And I said, well, at least I'm starting to get used to a new routine, right?

Yeah.

And, and so maybe I'm a bit more resilient now than I was 3 weeks ago because I have a little bit more of control of what to expect. Expect, but you know, on any given day that goes out the window.

I don't know, the more I get to know you, obviously you're one of the most resilient people I think I've ever met, and you surprise me always with another story. I didn't know about your heart condition and all that. Yeah, yeah, but it's true that that which doesn't kill us, right?

Yeah, absolutely. I think there's no question that this is a valuable lesson.

Yeah, but one of the things that you always talk about, and it and so appreciate it, that the intentionality of it. Um, you know, again, I'm not one of these folks that say, oh, you know, there's no such thing as failure or anything like that, that everything's a lesson. Sure it is, if you wring the lesson out of it, which isn't always the easiest thing to do. And you have to decide what course you're going to take and go forward, right?

I think this is really true. I like Alex's recent comment that we need a news detox. Um, and I think that the I think that this is how people need to exert some control over their lives, right? How much are you going to sit and listen to the doom and gloom of a 24-hour news cycle that has a 1-hour story? Um, and, and, you know, we have to make that decision for ourselves.

Well, it's processing the confusion, isn't it? It's very difficult. I mean, you're a medical professional, and I'm sure there's things that you've heard that you know, are wildly contradictory one day to the next. And I think part of the problem with that is people always assign the worst intentions. And isn't it just that the data is changing? I mean, that the information is changing. This is still all pretty new, isn't it?

This is exactly it. I mean, you know, I— when I have to speak to a family about, you know, the discharge date of their patient who is here on the COVID unit with me, I'm having to look to the government agencies and the WHO, the CDC, the departments of public health to figure out what is the new guidance. It changes every day.

Yeah, it changes in the medical and with the other stuff, you know, I mean there's been so many business people trying to navigate through the PPP plans and the assistance plans and the unemployment plans and all this stuff, and it changes by the minute.

Yeah, I mean this is true of the airlines as well, right? I used to, I used to fly so often on the airline, and now, you know, I look at this and I just say every month I just extend my time in the U.S. for another 30 days. I don't know when I'm going back to the UK. It's very unclear. There's no good guidance for me to make that decision, so I'm needed here and this is where I am.

Well, we're glad you're here, and we're awful glad that you put together this program. I'm going to put up the website again. Make sure you access this: findingyourholygrail.com. And you also said people can contact you directly gmail, findingyourholygrail@gmail.com too. But get on this program. Um, why don't you just go over one more time the details of it, what people are getting, and exactly how to do it?

Sure. So what it is, is about 22 speakers that, uh, each day are featured sending out in a pre-recorded video session, um, a conversation like Jim and I are having now, um, where we're really focusing on how to help Anyone who wants to join the conversation, move forward with resilience and without fear. The really fantastic part of it is the fact that each of these speakers that is featured has 20, 30 years depth of experience. So they've opened up their communities and their tools, and they've offered free tools to the viewers to help them have practical solutions about moving forward during this time. And, um, It's just, it just comes into your email box once you put in your email address and your name, and these are free and you can join the conversation. You can send emails and put comments under the videos. Yeah.

Hey, and let's all keep the conversation going. If you're watching on the replay, just send your comments, put your comments in the stream, we'll find them and we'll get them to Mandy or, or wherever they need to, to go, and we'll make sure that that happens. Mandy, one more question I'd like to ask you before we wrap things up. And thank you guys all for popping in and out here, really appreciate your support for these live streams. We did decide we're going to do them a little more regularly. We're going to probably most of the time do them on Tuesdays at noon, but we'll spread them a little, a little bit, uh, around the clock for different time zones. But just watch for that, and occasionally we'll have a special, um, especially when we have someone tremendous like Mandy to bring on. Findingyourholygrail.com, make sure you go there and get those, those resources and So, Mandy, as we wrap things up, one of the questions that I really wanted for you is, what do you think personally you're going to take out of this whole mess, this whole chaos, that's really, you know, something that's going to be— you're going to look back at and you're going to say, wow, you know what, didn't maybe feel it at the time, but this was a special time and this really is going to imprint my life going forward?

Thank you for that question. I understand now more than ever that we're all in this together. This is the very first experience that we've had on this planet as human beings where this is not geographically specific. And so having this kind of experience where it's not just New York City, it's not just a typhoon or a hurricane or an earthquake in some other part of the world that perhaps we didn't hear about that part of the world before. This is something that has linked us all together. It has allowed us to know that we're interconnected. And for this reason, I understand more fundamentally than before that all of my neighbors, whoever they are, right, must be looked after in this process.

That's Beautiful. I couldn't think of a better way to wrap things up. So again, thank you so much. You stick with me for just a second after the program, and then, uh, again, I'd like to thank everybody for coming on and joining the live. Please come to, uh, Sensei Leader Movement, joinfree.com, SLMjoinfree.com, and, uh, our white belt level is free, always will be. Uh, I believe if you're watching this before May 31st, you can also get a black belt membership, uh, for free, which is usually about $30 a month. That includes a live call every month, which I think is the most special part of that. But Come on and join us. We're a global movement of leaders at all levels all over the planet, just trying to help each other develop and grow as leaders and as people. So again, Mandy, thank you so much for being with us today. Thank you.

It was such a pleasure, and I hope that all your viewers tune in tomorrow to be able to see your amazing interview.

Oh, thank you so much. All right.