ONE STEP - 0003: Winning is everything?

That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Winning is everything. If you're a 4-year-old child or a politician. I'm Jim Bouchard, founder of the Sensei Leader Movement. Lao Tzu said, "Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." The rest of the journey is just a bunch of single steps too, and that's what we're all about in this program. The format is simple. We share one idea, one strategy to help us become better leaders or to help us face the challenges and issues facing us today. Then in every episode, I challenge you to identify at least one discipline to make this strategy real, and I'll explain that process in the end. I know you're really busy, so let's get right into it. In the past few days, heard a lot about winning, and I'm sick of it. You know, small children obsess over winning. They don't have the intellectual capacity to see that life is, is just not a zero-sum game. They just figure that if someone else wins, they lose. That's how they see the world. You know, our so-called political leaders, they don't seem to have the intellectual capacity to understand this isn't a zero-sum game either. They're acting exactly the same way. Who is it exactly that won during the shutdown? Not the people that work for the government, not the people missing flights at the airport, not the people who couldn't figure out the new iPhone IRS changes, and certainly not the rest of us, because now we're going to absorb the cost of ramping up from the shutdown, and they're saying that's going to be in the billions. You know, these days our major political parties, they place winning above any sense of cooperation. Their highest priority is not to find a workable solution to any of today's issues, but it's to make sure that their opponents never get credit for any kind of win, any kind of victory. Their highest priority is just to win, to gain the office, to keep their seats, to keep their power. Now, it's not all their fault. We're eating this stuff up for lunch. Just watch social media or the cable news lately. You know, political commentary, it sounds like a sports show. It really does. There's a lot of talk about winners and losers. They've got scoreboards all over the place and very little talk about the substance. Of the, of the actual issues, about the actual concerns or the causes behind these things. Now don't get me wrong, winning is important, absolutely. If you're in a football game or on an actual battlefield, it's, it's critical. Winning is important if you're defending your life or you're defending authentic humanistic values or principles, core principles, or even if you're up against just a really terrific challenge. But in politics, winning has become the only thing. And it's the same thing in a lot of business organizations today. You know, especially in business, or especially when we're trying to work together as a community, whether that's in our town, in our state, or in our country, it's better when a lot of people win. I mean, I think it'd be great if everybody wins, but, you know, that's, that's kind of an idealistic outlook. But it's not— it's just not productive when there are clear winners and losers within our own ranks. Especially when that split's about 50/50. Look, I'm all for competition. I've spent my life in competition, and I like winning just as much as the next person. But I've learned that the best victory comes when you can find a solution or find a path that brings success to the greatest number of people, sometimes even your enemies. Now believe me, this is not some kind of lollipops and puppy dogs, New Age kind of thing. In fact, one of my heroes, one of the most badass leaders of all time, Sun Tzu— he's the author of The Art of War— he gave us some great advice about 2,500 years ago, and today's leaders should pay attention to it. Let me give you— you know, those of you who know me, I'm a quote junkie— let me share a couple of my favorite Sun Tzu quotes with you. In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact. To shatter and destroy it is not so good. Again, I'm going to go look back at the social media stuff that, that's been out there. How many headlines have you seen on social media? So-and-so destroys blah blah blah, right? So-and-so crushes their enemy like Dixie cups. That's a scorched earth policy. And what happens? What happens when you destroy, especially when somebody comes to you with compromise? What happens when you turn around and just annihilate them. You're not creating goodwill. What you're creating is resentment, and you're really just giving energy to that person's sense of revenge. Let me give you another Sun Tzu quote: The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace, whose only thought is to protect his country and do good service for his sovereign, is the jewel of the kingdom. Let me read that first part again. The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace. I mean, isn't that the foundation of authentic compromise, of, of true respectful and reasonable debate? If your only goal is to make yourself famous or to protect your own political power— and again, same thing within a business organization— then you're in a lot of trouble. You can't help but having to fight this constant battle of total victory or total defeat. But when you can advance without coveting fame and retreat without fearing disgrace, when you can withdraw from a position, if you keep your mind and your heart open, and you're willing to change, and you're willing to adapt your thinking when you get new information, then you can find a resolution that's probably above and beyond either of the extreme positions. And I see that day in and day out. I see that every time we do a workshop. Sometimes the solution, the resolution, isn't your idea or my idea. But by expressing our separate ideas, which are sometimes in opposition, we find something that's even better than the two. And that's why I'm not a huge fan of compromise, because most of the time we don't have to compromise. We just have to be open to that third solution. Let me give you one more from Sun Tzu: To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence. Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. That's the famous fight of no fight. There's a famous story from Musashi that goes the same way, how he tricked somebody into, into a duel on an island. And basically what he did, he jumped back in the boat, left the other guy on the island. He's able to, to win without, without actually fighting. Again, that's what we're looking for when we're talking about reasonable and respectful debate. You know, if we can, if we can reason things out, defend your positions passionately, for sure, absolutely, bring everything you can to the table, but do it with reason and do it with respect. That way we have an actual debate instead of just a fistfight. And it's not just in politics, like I said. You know, companies like Enron and the people that created all the subprime mortgage mess They put winning above everything else. They didn't care who lost as long as they won. The same thing when Wells Fargo made those sales quotas more important than, than doing the right thing, or when Volkswagen prioritized expanding their North American market with the fraud, the emissions fraud. They weren't thinking about environmental impact or health or even the trust of their brand. They just wanted to sell more cars. They placed winning above everything else. Now, I love to talk philosophy, and I could do it all day long, but unless we take these ideas and make them realities, they're not much use to anybody, right? And that's what we're talking about when we talk about discipline. Discipline to a martial artist is development and cultivation of meaningful and purposeful habits. This means committing yourself to actionable steps, things you can and will carve into your calendar. So don't put these items on your to-do list. A to-do list is just a wish list. It's not real until it's on your daily planner in ink. So what can you do to carve into your calendar to make today's ideas a reality in your life and in your organization? First, I'll share with you a couple of disciplines that came in from members of our Sensei Leader Movement. These came from workshops and from some of our, our online resources. Love this one: simple, not easy. Articulate your core values and principles clearly. Do this regularly and continually. That's your responsibility as a leader. Here's another one. Assuming that you're committed to doing the right thing, of course, model the behavior you expect from others. Lead by example. Now, one thing that I would suggest carving into your schedule is a time to review, review your own behavior. Do this regularly. Do it once a month, do it once a quarter, at least once a year. And analyze, like I said, analyze your own behavior. Make sure you're modeling the behavior you expect from others. Now these are just a couple of ideas. We want yours as well. Please share. Post your disciplines in the comments or send me a private message. Your ideas will help others become better leaders too, and that's what it's all about here at the Sensei Leader Movement. Would love to get you more involved. All you need to do, go to thesenseileader.com and subscribe. Absolutely free. You're not on the spot, no obligation, and you'll get a free ebook edition of The Sensei Leader when you sign up. Look, I really appreciate the time you spent with me today, and I look forward to the next time we get together. I'm Jim Bouchard, founder of The Sensei Leader Movement.