Avoid BURNOUT with These Tips | Jim Kwik & Jenna Kutcher

Welcome back, Kwik Brain. Your question for today is, how do you turn burnout into your personal breakthrough? And I've been really looking forward to this conversation we're about to have. I think for the past couple years, people feel like they're maybe at their wit's end. They feel maybe some stress, some anxiety, maybe they've lost their passion or maybe their creativity. We have the expert on with us today. This is a topic that I'm really passionate about also as well, and I'm very excited and passionate about my friend is about to join us. She was born and raised in Minnesota. She's a mother, entrepreneur, and host of the top-rated Goal Digger podcast. And she's also the author of the brand new book, which is a must-read, How Are You Really? Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time. Jenna Kutcher, thanks for joining us.

Oh, Jim, I am so excited to be here. I'm a listener and I value our friendship so deeply. So this is fun.

That is everything. We got to spend some, some time actually at a couple of different occasions, at a friend's birthday party, and most recently speaking at an event together.

It's amazing. I love our time together, and I'm just so excited to walk through this topic with you and your audience, 'cause I think it's something that a lot of people need right now.

So let, let's go into this. You wrote this book, and again, we'll put links everywhere in our show notes about, about it. Let, let's talk about burnout. Well, what is it? Is it something that you struggle with yourself? And how do you turn it into your personal breakthrough? Yeah.

There's this story in the book actually, and it was happening at an event similar to the one that we spoke at together. And I was a speaker at this event, but anytime I speak, I love to attend the event too, right? There's so much goodness. You and I both are at the edge of our seats like, let me learn. Let me be a student. And I was at this event, and I tell this story inside of the book where I noticed this trend that every single speaker that had gotten up was telling this story about how in their life, in one way or another, they had hit this place of burnout. And then all of a sudden, it's like the heavens opened and the angels sang, and they like figured out what was next for their life. And it was really weird because I'm like, okay, were the stars aligned? Were we like all ingesting the same content when we wrote our speeches? Or is a burnout required? required in order to reach a breakthrough. And I feel like you and I, especially in these leadership positions, it's like we want to caution people from the mistakes we've made. It's like when we're passionate, we go all in, we become obsessed with things. But a lot of times that obsession can bring us to this state of burnout. And when I look at the world, like you mentioned, it's almost like the world is sitting and where there once was flames within us, like these fires, a lot of us are feeling like ashes. Like, we are just in this state of like survival. We're just spinning the wheel. We're going through our days and not actually looking at like how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. And so, I was actually listening to this meditation the other day and it said, you know, if you're feeling like an ash or if you're feeling like ashes, all you need is just one little ember, one ember to be fanned to create that flame again. And so, I want to talk, if it's okay with you, of like, if someone is in a state of burnout or they're heading there and their body or their mind or their life is signaling like, slow down or pause or rest, how do we get back to being that burning passionate flame?

This is a great topic, especially it's very timely.

Yeah. So, it's really interesting because when I think about the topic of burnout, oftentimes there are a lot of people that are like, your burnout leads to the breakthrough, but it's like, what if we could avoid the burnout altogether and still experience the breakthrough. And something in my life that I've found is play. Now, there are studies done that show that people who play just for the sake of playing, who are creative people, who are curious people, they actually are more successful, more happy in their life, and they have this vibrance, this energy that is so palpable that when you're with them, it's like, oh my gosh, this passion is contagious. And I have recognized, and at least I've seen a lot in my own community, is in this state of the world, There are so many messages out there that's like, go and pursue your passions, go chase your dreams. And most of the world is sitting here and they're like, I don't even know what I'm passionate about. I don't have hobbies. Like, I work and I take care of myself or others and I go to bed at night and that's it. And I feel like that's where we're feeling like ashes. Like, that's where we're at this state of like, where do we go from here? How do we get back to like enjoying our lives again? And I have 2 daughters. One of them is 3 years old. And I had recognized, like, as a mom that I had lost a lot of the play in my life. If you don't know what I'm talking about when I'm saying play, it's like enjoying the art of doing something without having a specific output. We are so, like, obsessed with efficiency and all these incredible tools. But the problem, Jim, is that so many of us are working harder and smarter so that we can save time so that we can spend that time working harder and smarter. We don't recognize that like the art of saving time should then be us spending it in enjoyable ways. There's actually a story in the book about this Buddhist monk who goes to New York City and he's with this tour guide and the tour guide is like, hey, we could save ourselves 10 minutes of time if we go down and take the subway. And so, they jump on the subway, they come out from underground, and the Buddhist monk goes and sits in a bench. And the tour guide is like, what are you doing? And the Buddhist monk said, I'm enjoying the time that we just saved. And I want for us to start thinking, because you and I, we are so aligned. We are achievers, we are efficient, we work smarter, not harder. But there can become this perpetual motion of us trying to save time, and then we're spending that saved time saving more time by working. And so I want to just invite in this notion of like, if you are feeling passionless, if you are feeling burnt out, if you are in this place where you are like, beyond work or the roles that I play within my household, I don't even know what I like or who I am or what I want to do. I want for you to invite in play for the sake of playing.

This is one of the things that's curious with children. We talk about children, how they're wonderful learners. And later on, you know, we— they play, they're very playful, right? They're very curious. So they fall down, they make mistakes. Even you talk to your friends when you're young, you say you wanna go out and play, but at some point the languaging changes. It's like, do you wanna hang out? I did a talk recently and I get people to get up and play so they could get in that right playful state so they'll learn. And somebody said, no, I stopped playing cuz I grew older. And in my mind I just always revert. I do the opposite. I was like, no, maybe you grew older because you stopped playing. And so playfulness. I'm outta curiosity.

Yeah.

What are some of the things on your to-play list? You know, what do you do that brings you that joy?

I have to tell you a funny story. So during the pandemic, Drew and I were driving home from, um, our lake house and we were talking about a mutual friend we had. And we were like, I wonder like what she does outside of like motherhood and work. And like, we're kind of like being judgmental of like, does she have hobbies? And then I looked at Drew and I was like, do we have hobbies? Like, what do we do outside of it? And it was kind of this wake-up call of like, yes. I often think about like how so many times in life We hear that story of like, if you were to tell your 10-year-old self anything, what would you tell them? But I think, again, if we flip the script, if your 10-year-old self could tell you anything right now, what would they tell you? What would they be sad to know that you let go of? What would they be sad to know that you weren't doing? When you and I went out to dinner after the event, we all sat around and we played like 21 questions because I was like, I'm with people that I've never met or that I don't know well. Let's make this a really rich conversation. And we asked that question and it was fascinating. It was like playing the piano or like building a matchbox car or like, you know, all of these different things. And it was so beautiful because you could see people's spark reigniting again, right?

So, let's ask that question again. I want everybody to post their answer on social media and they could tag Jenna, follow her on the social platforms, tag myself so we get to see the answer. So, what's the question that you want to ask people? Around playful.

What would your 10-year-old self be sad to know that you let go of or you no longer do? That is so powerful. And it's so crazy because it's so funny. We think we get older and wiser, but really, we forget who we are. And it's really interesting because inside of my book, it's Living Your Truth One Answer at a Time, living a life that feels good and doesn't just look good. And it's all about coming back home to yourself. The world we live in is so noisy, right? And it's constantly telling us like, you're not enough and you're too much in the same breath. And it's like, how do we even operate in that state? And so, it's been really interesting because as someone who built this career, I've been at it for over a decade. Like, I recognize like I no longer do things just for the sake of enjoying doing. And you and I, Jim, we know we've done this before in our lives where we put a stake in the ground and we say, this is my goal. And then, we arrive to it and we're like, oh, I thought this would feel different.

Yeah.

Or like, this doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel like in alignment. And what I love about play is that there is no output required. You are not required to present or have a peer-reviewed journal post about what you've done. It's enjoying the journey. If you have ever needed a lesson in like creating for the sake of creating, take out some Play-Doh, make an epic snowman, and then shove all the Play-Doh back into the canister so that it doesn't dry out. You have to enjoy the art of creating again. And that's why I really think when we think about burnout, I want for you to ask yourself, when is the last time I played? Just played for the sake of playing, for the enjoyment of it.

And one of the things we were talking about earlier is creativity.

Yeah.

You know, we— I believe the future belongs to the creators. It's one of the things that are truly limitless. And I think burnout sometimes when people are in their survival brain, It's hijacking them. It's holding them hostage. They're not able to get to their executive brain, their more creative imagination. And so how does creativity fit into the world of burnout? And how do you cult— is that something that can be cultivated? Because you're an incredibly creative individual, right?

I am.

With your show, with this book, with your life.

I love it all. I'm an artist, like a true artist. And you know what's so interesting, Jim? I'm going to give an example because I just want people To use my example and think in their life of like, okay, how would this apply for me? So, for years and years and years, Jim, when I first met you 5 years ago, I said I would never write a book, right? I was like, why would anybody do this? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. So, when I finally decided to write a book, I recognized that I am a creative artist and I need to protect my passion for the art. And so, I did the entire process backwards intentionally because I knew that the minute that I inserted deadlines or money into the project, my whole creative brain would shut off. It would suddenly become work instead of pleasure.

Mm-hmm.

And so, I didn't tell a soul that I was writing a book. I didn't have a book deal. I didn't have an agent or an editor. I had nothing but this deep desire to create something that mattered to me, even if the world didn't see it. And I recognized like, I need to protect the art of this and really love and honor the work, even if the external world never gets it. And so when we think about creativity, I think a lot of times we start bringing in the world in terms of, okay, this has to have a deadline. It has to be critiqued. I have to accept feedback on it. I need to make money doing it. All of those things that literally steal the art from under us and make everything, including our passions, turn into work. And so maybe you've got to invite boundaries into your life and a level of self-awareness to say, These sort of things don't work for me. Like, I wanted to write words that tell, not words that sell. And I knew if somebody was paying me for my words, it would totally change the way that I approached it. And so it was so much more enjoyable of a process for me because I brought in that level of self-awareness necessary to say, my brain works in this way, I am most creative, and I'm going to protect the way that I create.

Your energy, right? It's very creative. It is extremely Playful. It's incredibly positive. And you've infused that into this book. Tell me about the title, How Are You Really? What was the impetus for that?

Yes. Okay. So I actually didn't name the book until about 10 days before we handed in the final manuscript.

Really?

It had many working titles. You know, it's a funny one. So let everyone into the process, the reality of it. For a long time, we were going to call the book Close Your Eyes, meaning like, Come Back Home to Yourself, Come Back to Your Intuition. And I told my hairdresser that title and she goes, that sounds like a horror book. And I was like, okay, that title is out. And it was literally days before I handed in the final manuscript and I kept describing it to people. And I said, it's the difference in conversation when you're with just anyone and they say, how are you? And you say, good, fine, busy. And then when you're with someone who you know can hold space for your truth, who you know will like accept your truth and like hold you safely in that, and they lean into you and they say, hey Jim, how are you really? It's the difference. That one word is the difference. And it's not just a question that we want to be asked or that we should be asking other people. Really, it's a question of what we should ask ourself. And it's that one little Word. That's really a big word. And it was funny because I kept texting people and being like, I got to name this book and I don't know. And here's what it is. And it's that conversation where you feel safe and held and invited to truly respond. And then somebody much smarter than me was like, that's the title. And it took me a day. I was like, is that the title? It is the title. And now I'm like, it is so perfect.

It is perfect. And the book is actually full of very thoughtful questions, like think questions like, Who do you have and who has you? What are you going to do about it? Questions are often the answer. And especially with the subtitle, it's when we look at it, Living Your Truth, what was it, One Answer at a Time?

Yes.

And so who did you write this book for? I want to recommend it. I can't recommend it enough.

So I wrote it for everyone, but really, Jim, I often was thinking about my daughters. I thought about 20 years from now, them picking up this copy and not unearthing who their mom is, but who they've always been. It's like this invitation for people to like come back home to themselves, to check in with themselves. It's like when our Apple Watch goes off and says breathe and you're like, oh, I have been breathing all day, but I haven't thought about breathing all day. It's this invitation to check in. With utter honesty. And so, I thought about them through stages of life. This isn't about me, it's about you. And, that's who I wrote it for was anyone that has been waiting for someone in their life to ask them that or waiting to ask themselves that question.

I absolutely love it. I want everyone to get the book and invite everybody to do this challenge, which again, take a screenshot of this episode wherever you're listening to it and consuming it, whether it's iTunes or Spotify, happens to be on social, or, or maybe it's on YouTube, make sure you tag Jenna, tag myself so we get to see it. I actually have an extra couple of copies and I'm going to actually gift to our community for people to actually do exactly that. And I want everyone to answer that question about the 10-year-old self. You know, what would they be sad and maybe disappointed about that you're not currently doing?

Jim, I am so excited for this book to get out into the world. I'm so grateful that we get to talk about these things in the flesh and on the internet. And I am just so excited. I just sent Jim a picture and on Amazon it said, people who have bought Limitless are also buying How Are You Really? And I just was like, our book babies are out in the world together. And I couldn't be more excited about that.

Well, congratulations again on this book. And also, where do people get it? Where would you like people to go?

You can go anywhere books are sold, obviously, but you can also head to howareyoureallybook.com. And we have some fun bonuses for anyone who snags a copy. I am just so confident that it is going to transform lives that I am like, thank you for believing in this vision. And thank you for allowing me to do it in my own timing and in my own way. And now I just can't wait to release it out into the world.

So anyone who's listening, if you're struggling with burnout, And sometimes burnout is not because we're doing too much. Maybe burnout is because we're doing too little of the things that make us come alive. So you want to be able to fuel those embers within your creativity, the fires of our own passion. And this would be the roadmap. So make sure everybody, you get your copy. I always recommend people get 3 copies of books, one for yourself, your own personal collection, and then 2 to be able to pay forward or maybe play forward. Jenna Kutcher, thank you so much for being on our show. Thank you.

Thank you so much for having me, and thank you for the work that you do. It means the world to us, and it makes a huge difference. I love you, buddy.

Love you back. Hi, Kwik Brain, it's your brain coach. I want to thank you so much for watching this video. 3 things to do. Number 1, make sure you share this, because when you teach something, you get to learn it twice. Update your learning so you can update other people's learning as well. Number 2, make sure you subscribe to this channel so you don't miss a thing. Because if you miss a video, you miss a lot. And finally, make sure you hit that bell so you're notified and you find out when we put out the latest and the greatest. One extra thing, if you want really close attention, then text me. Here is my phone number: 310-299-9362. Did you remember that number? 310-299-9362. 299-9362. Shoot me a text and we'll stay in touch. Ask me your burning question. And I wish your days be full of lots of life, lots of love, lots of laughter, and always lots of learning. I'll see you in our next video. Bye.