Don’t Let Your Goals Hold You Back | Jim Kwik & Emmanuel Acho

Welcome back, Kwik Brain. Your question for today is this, and this is going to be kind of a shocker. Why are your goals dumb? Why are your goals dumb? We talk about SMART goals. You hear, we read about SMART goals, and is there a better way? And I'm excited to have on this show a new friend, Emmanuel Acho. Thanks for being on the show.

Of course, man. It's good to finally see you. Obviously, I know of you and we've connected over social, but it's good to finally catch up.

Absolutely. So for those people who don't yet know you well, you're a former NFL linebacker. You have a master's in sports psychology, Emmy Award winner, number one New York Times bestselling author. You really do it all. You have a new book, which I encourage everybody to buy. If you're watching this on video, I'm holding it up. It's called Illogical: Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits. This is right up our alley. Everyone who's listening to this, whether you're working out, you're driving, I encourage you to kind of pull over, really focus on this, because this is going to be a game changer for you. I'd love some context, Emmanuel.

Why—

what was the impetus for Illogical, for your new book?

Yes, I believe that our greatest accomplishments in life, Jim, man, they come on the other side of our logic. I think that everybody has innate creativity, innate brilliance in them. However, we're far too logical. So, what is logic? Logic is conventional wisdom. It is conventional wisdom that keeps us from becoming the greatest version of ourselves. The other impetus, if you will, for my book is failure. Something we can all relate to. I failed a lot in this life.

Hmm.

But then, I had to pause and think. And I realized I didn't fail. I fell. And as long as I get up, I win. And that's my encouragement for so many listeners, viewers. It's like, yo, you didn't fail. You just fell. As long as you get up, you will win. And so that was truly the core and the essence of why I wanted to write Illogical.

I like that, the difference between failing and falling. I don't know a lot of strong people that had very easy lives at all, to say the least. So would you say that the sky is the limit or not the limit?

No, I don't believe that there is a limit, personally. That's why I say, say yes to a life without limits. I think the only limits we have in this life are the limits that other people give And I no longer choose to be afraid of other people's fears. That is the thing that we so often let limit us in this life, Jim. Not even our own fears, bro, but fears that other people have. True story. And, and you read the book, I tell this story. It's 6th grade. I'm eating a burger with my friend. His older brother walks into the house. Jim, this is truly a true story. And his older brother throws something at the table. My friend scurries and starts hiding behind the couch. I look at what the heck did his older brother throw at the table, and it is a ketchup packet. That was the day I learned the word mortuus cuisphobia. Mortuus cuisphobia. It is the fear of ketchup. The valuable lesson, y'all, you can't be afraid of other people's fears. And far too often, we're afraid of getting out of a toxic relationship because our friends are afraid of being single. We're afraid of leaving the small city because our friends, Jim, are afraid of leaving the small town our family has never left. We might be afraid of starting a business because our relatives are afraid of starting a business. So, I don't believe in the sky is the limit. I don't believe that there are any limits.

And then, so, it could be the conventional wisdom that people subscribe to and they buy into because the day before something is a real breakthrough, it is illogical, right? It is a crazy idea. You know, whether the examples you talk about, whether it's an airplane or use the example of Roger Bannister.

Yes, my favorite story, Jim, my favorite. And for those listening that don't know Roger Bannister, it was May 5th, 1952. Nobody had ever run a mile in under 4 minutes, something we can all attest to as either running or walking in life. Nobody had ever done it. Scientists said it was physically Impossible. That was the limit. Can't run a mile in under 4 minutes. It's physically impossible. Roger Bannister, a man from Oxford, England, on May 6th, he said, you know what? Yeah, I'm not going to listen or believe you all's logic. I'm not going to let your fear become my own. And on May 6th, Roger Bannister ran a mile in 3 minutes, 59 seconds. But here's the crux of the story. Within 2 years, 10 people ran a mile in under 4 minutes after Roger Bannister. Why? One man chose to be illogical. One man chose to live a limitless life. One man chose to say yes to a life without limits, and we all recouped the benefits.

And the limit back then was people believed it was not possible that the human body— that actually the human heart couldn't sustain a sub-4-minute mile. It would explode in your chest, you know. And so that— I could see how that conventional wisdom would keep people— that would— I'm a runner. That would keep me from jogging around the neighborhood if I thought that would happen.

But you know what I love, Jim, is that as soon as one person does the illogical, the rest of the world benefits.

Yeah.

And for Roger Bannister, it was the running world. The world record for the mile now is 3 minutes, 43 seconds. Now, roughly 1,800 people have run a mile in under 4 minutes. But it was all because one man, Roger Bannister, chose to say yes to a life without limits. One man, Roger Bannister, chose to be illogical. And we see it in so many different stories. I love the story of Ruby Bridges, the 6-year-old Black girl who integrated school in Louisiana. Back in 1960, schools were federally— well, they were segregated. Then finally, they became integrated. However, you couldn't go to white schools as a Black girl, but she tested into the white schools, her and her 5 other classmates. However, her 5 other classmates chose to go elsewhere or stay at the all-Black school. Ruby Bridges She said, you know what? I'm going to go alone. And Jim, I think it's okay sometimes to go alone as long as you go. Roger Bannister, he went alone, but he still went. Ruby Bridges, she went alone, but she still went. Steve Jobs, what? You can have a phone with a GPS and a camera? It's okay to go alone so long as you go.

Now, going back to the title of this conversation, we talk about goals. And in the self-help productivity performance world, you hear about SMART goals, right? That they're specific and measurable and action-oriented and so on. But from your perception and point of view, why do you say goals are dumb?

Goals are dumb. At best, a goal puts a limit on your achievement. Jim, if you set a goal but you accomplish it, congratulations, you accomplished it. But what if you could have done so much more? But here's the problem. If you set a goal and you don't accomplish it, you've now ruined your esteem, your self-efficacy. You've questioned your worth. Who am I? What am I? What value do I have? I didn't accomplish this goal. See, we all did something along the lines of this. At 26, I want to be married. At 28, I want to have kids. By 30, I want to have a house.

Great!

But what happens when you're 31 like me and you ain't married, you ain't got no kids? Now, all of a sudden, you're questioning everything you set up in life because you didn't reach those goals. Again, true story. After my 3rd year in college, I wanted to go to the National Football League. I submitted my film tape to the NFL grading scouts. They told me, Emmanuel, you will be drafted in rounds 4 through 7. Here's the problem, y'all. I wanted to go in rounds 1 through 3. So, I took this sheet of paper, Jim, that said, Emmanuel, you will be drafted in rounds 4 through 7. I highlighted it because you know what they say about goals. You need to interact with them. I put it above my bed because you know what they say about goals. You need to commit them to memory. I looked at it every morning I woke up, every night I went to sleep. You will be drafted in rounds 4 through 7. I told myself, there is no way that will happen. Well, at the NFL Combine, the biggest interview for the sport that owns one day of the week in front of billion-dollar owners, 32 of them to be exact, I was running the 40-yard dash. It's one of the most important physical tests for the NFL Combine. It dictates whether you will become a millionaire or a hundred-thousandaire or you will be drafted at all. Jim, I tore my quad off of the bone. At the NFL Combine. I got drafted in the 6th round. That day, I made the most pivotal decision in my life, no longer setting goals. I believe that goals are dumb and I believe that goals undermine our achievement and undermine our self-esteem.

So, what would you say to someone listening and this resonates with them for sure, what do you replace that with then? What is your strategy? Do you have, you said, some kind of outcome or objective or?

Beautiful. Jim, I believe in having an objective with no limitations. Okay, what's the difference? A goal, by definition, is an end towards which energy is aimed. An objective, by definition, is energy aimed towards a direction. See, if a goal is an end towards which energy is aimed, why in the world would I start something with an end in mind? I wouldn't. I want to just move my energy towards a direction. When I first left football and moved into TV, so many people said, oh, Emmanuel, you're trying to be like Michael Strahan. I said, no, Michael Strahan's already taken.

Right.

I'm trying to be like Emmanuel Acho. If my goal is to be like Michael Strahan, then at best, I can only be like Michael Strahan. And Michael Strahan, as amazing as he is, he is him. So, why would my goal to be like somebody else— be to be like somebody else? Instead, have an objective with no limitations. I always say, why would I aim for something when I could have anything? And the problem with setting goals is you are aiming for something finite when I believe we can acquire things that are infinite.

And so, if people have some space between where they are, where they want, the direction they want to be, which the greatest version of themselves, maybe what's keeping them held back is some fear of failure. And To complete the story, you were cut a number of times. Was it like 5 times?

5 times by 25. I was fired, for those that are listening that don't know what cut is. Fired— cut in the NFL, National Football League. I was fired, Jim, 5 times by the age of 25.

And so somebody who's scared or they have a fear of failure or maybe they have some doubts, you know, they live in a world where they're comparing themselves to some standard that's conscious or unconscious, you know, maybe to another person like you're illustrating with Michael. 1, 2, or 3 pieces of advice you would offer somebody who is letting fear impede their progress in life?

The first thing I would say is to doubt your doubts.

Oh, I like that.

Doubt your doubts, man. We all have doubts. Obviously, we do. But start to question your doubts. You know what? Maybe I am good enough. Because really what you're telling yourself is maybe I'm not good enough. But Doubt your doubts. Maybe I am smart enough. Maybe I can start this business. Maybe I can leave this city. See, we— the issue in life, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about it in Talking to Strangers, um, it's not just about the absence of doubt, but is your strength and your belief greater than your doubts? Never be trepidatious at the fact that you have doubts. We all do. But all you have to make sure of is that your belief is stronger than your doubts. When you sit in a chair, There is a part of you that's like, wait a second, what if the legs on this chair break? But you still choose to take that seat because your strength, your, your, your belief that the chair is strong enough to hold you up is greater than your doubts that there might be a fracture in one of the legs of the chair. See, we just have to doubt our doubts. That would be my strongest bit of advice. It's not a matter of having your doubts be absent, but just have your faith be so present in yourself that your doubts are now minuscule.

I love that. I love that. Have your determination greater than your doubts. Have your faith be greater than your fear.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bingo. Because the truth be told, you got to put your belief in something. So, are you either going to believe it won't work or are you going to believe that it will work? Jim, one of my favorite quotes is, that which follows I am is who you will become.

Yeah.

So, and I'm sure you've heard this or you've referenced it. If you say, I am smart, I am limitless. I am wise. I am brilliant. I am beautiful. I am bold. You will follow whatever follows I am. And I just think we have to do a better job of speaking those truths to ourselves, not being so worried about failure, not being so worried about falling short, but truly realizing, wait a second, I am uniquely gifted. I am uniquely brilliant. I do have Whatever I need to accomplish whatever I want.

I have whatever I need to accomplish whatever I want. That's such a powerful belief. And it would be illogical for people maybe that you grew up with to say that, for them to say about you that you'd be a number one New York Times bestseller, that you would win these Emmy Awards, that you would play in the NFL, that you'd write these amazing books or have this web series that have been viewed tens of millions of times.

That is surely illogical. But the reason it's illogical is because in their mind, they couldn't do it. Jim, I know you obviously friends with Will. One of my favorite quotes from Will Smith's book, phenomenal book, is when he says, you and now are a unique occurrence by which has never occurred before, of which you are the best measure of success. You and now, unique. Never occurred before, by which you are the best measure of success. Here's the problem with someone else's advice. He goes on to submit someone else's advice is just that— it's theirs, based on their limited experience, based on their limited exposure, based on their limited knowledge. Jim, when I committed to play football at the University of Texas, my peers told me, bro, you could never play at Texas. Go to a smaller school. Go to an Ivy League school. I remember I went to a private school in Dallas for high school, St. Mark's School of Texas, an all-boys school. We wore uniform with National Merit Scholars. Truly, a kid in the grade above me, Saigon Turry, he won the National Spelling Bee. Pococurante was his winning word. True story. And so, I went to school with just brilliant, brilliant kids. And they told me I couldn't play football at Texas. I didn't even want to play at Texas.

Yeah.

I was trying to get to the NFL. But if I would have listened to the doubts of those around me, Oh, I never would be where I am. So truly, Jim, in response to that, it's really remembering, you know, you and now are a unique occurrence and you are the greatest measure of what's going to happen.

You are the greatest measure and that truly there is no limits. It's interesting for people that know my background, having grown up with traumatic brain injuries as a child, put in special learning challenge classes with a fear— not even a fear, a phobia of public speaking. public speaking. It would be very illogical for somebody who took 3 years extra to learn how to read to be doing what I do for the past few decades. And so I would offer everybody a challenge here to be able to maybe question our beliefs, have some curiosity and build that self-awareness of what is really possible. Emmanuel, as we wrap up, I would encourage also, if you're watching this or listening to this, to go get your copy. of this, of The Logical, today. It is a must-read. I encourage everyone to get 3 copies. Get one for yourself so you can mark it up and read it. We're going to be reading it in our private Facebook group, as many of you, over 130,000 of you, are a part of listening to us. And also get 2 copies to gift because that's why we learn anything, right? We learn it so we can be able to share it with others. Emmanuel, what's the parting advice you would like besides people going to get the book? Where can people Who are interested to get a copy of their book?

Anybody can get a copy at illogicalbook.com or wherever books are sold. illogicalbook.com. I think my biggest piece of parting advice would be the same thing that Oprah Winfrey told me when she called me June 9th, 2020. Jim, she called me and she said, you have the thing, my friend. You have the thing. And coming from someone who had the thing and has the thing, you, my friend, you have the thing. I was like, Oprah, what exactly is the thing? She was like, you have a unique ability to tell people hard truths, but they still want to listen to you.

Yeah.

The message here is everyone listening and watching this has the thing. Now, your thing is going to be different. What is the unique ability that you have that other people don't necessarily possess? What are you predisposed to being great at? You might be a phenomenal listener, incredibly empathetic, a phenomenal leader, a lover of people, a lover of children. You might be a workout enthusiast, a great pianist, an artist. Whatever the case may be, you have the thing. Sharpen your thing. Find your thing. Develop your thing. Use your thing. In Illogical, I try to take steps to help people find their things, develop their things, Utilize their things because you have the thing.

You heard it here, everybody. You have the thing. Make sure you do what you will to unleash it. You get your copy of Illogical. And I would encourage everybody to share this episode. Take a screenshot of where you're consuming this, whether it's iTunes, Spotify, YouTube. Tag Emmanuel. Make sure you follow him on social media. Tag myself so we get to see it. I'll repost some of them and I'll actually gift 2 copies, my 2 extra copies out to 2 people in our community randomly, just as a thank you for sharing this important information with others. Manuel Acho, thank you so much for being on our show.

Jim, thank you, man.

Hi, Kwik Brain. It's your brain coach. I want to thank you so much for watching this video. 3 things to do. Number one, make sure you share this because when you teach something, you get to learn it twice. Update your So you can update other people's learning as well. Number two, make sure you subscribe to this channel so you don't miss a thing. Because if you miss a video, you miss a lot. And finally, make sure you hit that bell so you're notified and you find out when we put out the latest and the greatest. One extra thing: if you want really close attention, then text me. Here is my phone number: three one zero two nine nine nine. Did you remember that number? 310-299-9362. Shoot me a text and we'll stay in touch. Ask me your burning question. And I wish your days be full of lots of life, lots of love, lots of laughter, and always lots of learning. I'll see you in our next video.