How to Heal From Everyday Heartbreak & Invisible Losses | Christina Rasmussen

Are you carrying a sense of sadness or heaviness that's difficult to articulate?

Nothing could have prepared me. No thesis, no education, no experience of what happened in my inner world. I actually thought I became an alien and everyone else around me was just unlike me.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, why am I feeling down? My life is great. Or something like that? I know I'm guilty of this. Others have it way worse. I, you know, I have no right to complain.

If you ask 10 If you ask 10 people, how do they feel when they wake up in the morning, 9 of them will say, I don't want to go to work.

Saying something like, my knee hurts, is easier to say than maybe like, my heart or my spirit is broken.

We are basically waking up and we are in survival mode, even when you feel like you're living the right life. That's just the way it is.

She pointed to me and said, leave that kid alone. That's the boy with the broken brain.

That kid is still in there and wants to thrive and wants to be seen. seen as who he is, but it's so hard to bring that part out.

I realized over time how I process it is the things that I was most, maybe let's say ashamed of, I'm really most proud of.

In order for us to exit that waiting room and find ourselves again, we have to.

Welcome back, Kwik Brains. I am your host and your brain coach, Jim Kwik. Today we are joined by a longtime friend of mine, Christina Rasmussen. Who is an acclaimed grief educator. I've mentioned her in the past because she has helped me through some trying times, and to have her in my corner is just— it made a world of difference. Her work will be for you also as well. She's helped countless people break out of what she coined the waiting room. This is the waiting room of grief to rebuild their lives. She also guides all of us through this concept of smaller, everyday, invisible losses. That often get brushed aside because we deem them as not important enough. So we're going to dive in and find answers on how to acknowledge and give ourselves permission to process these losses. She is the author of a number of great books. One of my favorites, one called Where Did You Go? She also wrote this book called Second First, which I highly recommend, Live, Laugh, and Love Again. And Christina has a brand new book called Invisible Loss: Recognizing and Healing the unacknowledged heartbreak of everyday grief. Welcome to the show, Christina.

Jim, thank you so much for having me and for this introduction. You say it so well and with such deep meaning, as if you know it, you recognize it. And I think our conversation today is important because it is people hearing us talk about this I think it will absolutely help others understand that these moments of impact that I talk about, these kind of completely unacknowledged events of our lives that we're not supposed to talk about or, in quotations, complain about because we have it so much better than others, can be very catastrophic to our future, to our present, and the way that we perceive the past.

I feel that. I mean, so just a reminder that everybody's fighting battles that nobody knows anything about, and And that's why our team wanted to have you on the show to expose your work to our community. And maybe we could start with your journey. I don't normally do this, but I think it's just very important for people to have a reference point. So your journey into the world of grief started after undergoing a tragic loss yourself, after which you created a process, a 5-step process called Life Reentry Model.

Yeah.

And maybe We could start by you sharing, like, some of your story and how the process you created helped you to reenter, like, a, a, a post-grief life.

Most people don't know this, even if it's in my bio. I have a master's in counseling with my thesis on the stages of grief prior to my tragic event. I imagine you're in your 20s studying in the UK. I was in England doing my, um, my master's, and I was so passionate about figuring out how to help people overcome something so tragic. And I remember telling my professor at the time, I wanna study grief. I didn't know why.

Wow.

The loss of my husband hadn't happened. We were like happily just, we just got married. It was at the beginning of my life in, in, in my 20s. And she said to me at the time, Jim, why do you wanna study something so sad? You're such a happy person. Like, where are you gonna put all of this? I said, I cannot imagine losing someone Yeah. So I wanna know how it is to do it. So the surprise here for me, and as I look back at my life, the fact that not only did I do my thesis on the stages of bereavement by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, I also went and volunteered at hospices at the time, sat with the dying when their family members would go to get a shower at home, to have a break. I facilitated support groups in Houston, Texas at hospice where people lost their spouses before even my husband's diagnosis. So—

Wow.

When my very, very young husband, at the time of diagnosis, he was 31 years old, and our kids were 9 months and 2 and a half years old. When, when that happened and he passed away 3 and a half years later, nothing could have prepared me. No thesis, no education, no experience. of what, what happened in my inner world. I actually thought I became an alien and everyone else around me was just unlike me. In that moment in time, I promised myself, Jim, that if I was ever, ever to make it back to living life, I was gonna go and get everyone else. All the people that are stuck in that cycle of grief. The discovery though, and for this book that we have in front of us today was that in my classes, I did the life reentry. I've created this model called life reentry, which, by the way, was in clinical trials for the last 5 years. I can't say more than that because the scientific papers are not written yet for them.

Sure.

But I was very grateful for the scientists that came to me and wanting to study this. But As I was teaching hundreds and hundreds of people in each class, I started seeing something that had nothing to do with the tragedy they experienced, Jim. And I have to tell you this, the tragic event that the people in my classes at the time experienced came with a big shadow in our life, in their life. So for me to sit back and say, Something is pulling them back from life into what I coined the waiting room, the place that we go after we experience a devastating event and the life that we could have. We go in a place in between, and that's what I call the waiting room. And, and by the way, when people hear that definition over the, the years, 14 years I've been doing this work, um, even just knowing that they're not living their full life, that they're in the waiting room, it's a very freeing experience for them because now they can do something about it instead of thinking that life is supposed to be this hard and we're supposed to struggle and survive. So I could see people re-entering life and coming back, and I was like, what is that? What is happening to them? And we started— we, we did this exercise that I called the cleanse, where within that group setting, people started I wanted people to just write whatever was on their mind. And what we discovered was unbelievable. What was pulling them back had nothing to do with the tragedy. It had to do with what I now call an invisible loss, and I called it this way because I couldn't see what it was. I had no understanding of it. A moment of impact that took place earlier in their life that They experienced an event, Jim, that had nothing to do with how we perceive a tragedy or even a secondary loss. It wasn't a pet loss, it wasn't a job loss, it wasn't, um, it wasn't divorce per se, but other moments of impact. Specifically, and a lot of people over the years, one of the main invisible losses people shared with me, with us in those, in those groups, was the experience they had with a teacher. Public shaming in a school setting with someone that they admired or respected. And it didn't even have to be big hard words being said to them, even the way they were being looked at by the teacher, dismissed by the teacher, not being graded in a positive way by the teacher, and it was whenever it was done in a public setting, the invisible loss comes from that shift in perception of the self. We no longer see ourselves with the amazing abilities, with the gifts. We start to perceive ourselves the way that that teacher or that person in a meeting is looking at us.

Mm-hmm.

And we, we experience that flight to safety, and we go into the weight room to deal with that. perception of self, of self that has so dramatically shifted the belief in ourselves and who we are. And we lose that original self. And I say original self, and I don't say true self or even authentic self, is because we come to this life with being in a certain way. And when that way of being is being rejected, unacknowledged, dismissed, pushed away, seen as not good enough, we actually start to modify ourselves to show up, Jim, in a way that other people need us to be. So we go from, what do I want, to, what should I want? And we start to live our life in a way that is not our life. We become different. We don't even know who we are after a while because we have modified and changed our language, the way we move, the way we behave, even coming to a podcast like this. My survivor mindset will come and say to me, Jim, this sentence, and I have to overcome it every day. I have to do the work on myself that says, make sure that you give Jim what he needs for this interview so his audience is going to like you. And it doesn't say, Christina, make sure you are who you are there.

Mm-hmm.

So this is a great experience for you. And that kind of narrative, you can put it when we go on a first date.

Yeah.

You can give it with your family members. We modify, we self-correct. So who that original self is, is the self without the self-correction to fit into the mold that we all live in. And that starts from early on, and then it accumulates, and it stacks up all the way to now where we end up In a place where, my goodness, Jim, we don't know who we are. We don't even know that we're grieving our former selves.

And it could happen at any age. You know, many people in our audience, they know, you know, about my brain injury when I was 5. And I was— I just couldn't read. And I had these migraines every day of my, you know, as a child. And when I was 9 years old, slowing down a class, and a teacher came to my defense. But I didn't realize she was coming to my defense 'cause I was being teased. more than usual. And she pointed to me and said, leave that kid alone. That's the boy with the broken brain. And I was just like, wow. I was like, at that moment, I didn't realize I was broken, but that completely changed the way I looked at myself. So it was like a loss of self-esteem, a loss of a certain identity, you know, think of capabilities. It was just— So every time I did badly in school or wasn't picked for sports, which was like all the time. I'd always say, oh, because I have the broken brain. And even talking about it, I'm still processing it because it's still like raw, even if it was, you know, decades ago. And you and I have a lot of shared interests, everything from, I don't know, space to the impact of the work that we do and neuroscience. And have you looked at like the impact on On the brain, like how the brain is affected by trauma or adapts to change, and maybe, you know, how does invisible loss affect, you know, just our cognitive health and processes?

The very first thing that I did after the first few years of my own loss, when I realized that there was no way that what's out there would help me, and actually the whole All of Life Framework is based on neuroscience. I went, I studied. I'm not a neuroscientist, but I learned enough to be able to look at everyone else, including my own brain, and say, okay, the waiting room is that place we go when our fear center is being activated. So people say, you know, time heals all wounds. Actually, the longer time we are in that survival mode, in that place where we feel unwell, we feel stuck, though we actually get so modified that we are not able, Jim, to overcome it ever. People die in the waiting room. And, and the whole concept of the Life-Ranging Model is that we find a way to what— to do what I call mental stacking, to change the the, the maps in our brain from surviving to thriving. And it sounds— I don't know if it's— to me it sounds simple, but actually people who say leap and the net will appear, jump, take big strides in your life, I disagree. The only way we can actually change our life and feel better and not feel that grief and that feeling of loss, not only of self, but I think people, when they wake up, they feel burdened every single day. If you ask 10 people how do they feel when they wake up in the morning, Jim, 9 of them will say, I don't want to go to work, because they're living a very— the wrong life for them. And why the work you do is so important, and this work as well. The brain is basically wired for survival. So when you experience a tragedy, an invisible loss, a moment of impact, a shift in perception of yourself, you go into that survival mode, and you will not leave that survival mode unless you slowly find a way to not trigger the amygdala, to not trigger that fear center that's keeping you stuck in that place. And the only way to do that is to step out, um, without risk, And I say, and I use a lot of metaphors in the work, and I say that we have to sneak out of the waiting room and make sure the survivor self that lives inside of us, that is there to protect us, is not awakened, is asleep. And the only way that I have discovered, the only way we can do this, is by finding action. I call them the plugins that we plug into this new life that feel rewarding and feel closer to that original self. And it's small, and it's, it's almost, um, a non-action in the beginning. So don't be afraid to take very, very small steps in the right direction, because not every mountain is our mountain to climb. Climbing the wrong mountain actually takes you back to that waiting room. We have to make sure. So the, the brain is more affected than the heart when it comes to grief. And to me, when I discovered that, that was a shock. And in 2013, when my first book came out, it was probably one of the first books that talked about neuroscience and grief together. And at the time, Jim, I remember thinking, they're gonna think I'm crazy.

Right.

That I'm saying this. And I couldn't have predicted that years later I would have scientists come to me to study the work. I would not have imagined that was possible. So the brain is the primary place in our life that is actually in that survival mode because we're wired for survival. So anything that is threatening, anything that is, um, it makes us feel afraid to express ourselves, to be ourselves, to show up, puts us in that fear mode and that survival mechanism. I call— I tell people that there are 3 narrators that live inside of us. There's that survivor voice, there's the thriver voice, and there's this watcher voice. And that's the witness, that's the wisdom part. The survivor voice occupies about 80% of what we talk about, Jim, what we think, how we act.

Wow.

This is, this is teaching thousands of people over the last 14 years, this is what I've seen. That 80% is there. We are basically waking up and we are in survival mode, even when you feel like you're living the right life. That's just the way it is. Then there's a 15% where we can access our wisdom and our knowing of self, but it's only activated when we can quiet down that survivor voice. And then there's that 5%, that's the kid before the moment of impact.

Hmm.

Jim, before he was 5 years old, before he was seen as the kid with a broken brain, that kid is still in there and wants to thrive and wants to be seen as who he is. But it's so hard to bring that part out. So when the work begins, the life reentry work, we do what I call the mental stack. We come in with that cleanse. We find a way to layer the pattern that we find. There is a pattern in our minds. And so imagine— and you don't have to imagine because you have looked at so many people's brains from the outside anyway, from the way they speak. There's a pattern of fear in a lot of people, and that pattern of fear dictates our actions and how we feel. In order for us to exit that waiting room and sneak out and find ourselves again, we have to find that unique pattern. And what you're afraid of is not going to be the same as me.

Sure.

How you see yourself in the world that you're living in is not going to be the same as your best friend. It's going to be completely different. So finding that doubt and fear that's being repeated over and over again and get it closer to that thriver, to that kid, that, that self that was there before, before that moment of impact took place and changed the way you saw yourself.

Are you tired and frustrated of struggling with forgetfulness and longing for greater mental retention and clarity? I have a special invitation for you to watch my free 3-part memory power video training where you'll discover the secrets to effortlessly recall crucial information, details, experiences, remembering what you read, giving a speech without notes, and remembering names, transforming you into an exceptional mental achiever. You'll also discover 10 powerful ingredients to supercharge your brain. So don't miss out on this life-changing opportunity. Simply click the button or go to jimkwik.com/power. Are there some, like, crucial shifts either in mindset or in behavior that you would recommend for those to navigate through these invisible losses?

I'm so glad you're actually pointing this out. Resilience is not the way I describe life reentry. Maybe not anymore. Or the original self. I don't want to be resilient anymore, Jim. I want to be myself. And when I am myself, I feel like I feel like the whole world is, is my oyster. It's— I belong, that I'm connecting. So there is a practice that I write about in the book. Um, it's the— this was the hardest book to write. Let me just say this. I wrote it 3 different times, and I—

In what way?

Finding language for something that has not been defined before, because it— because I don't want people to come into this and say, oh, She's talking about, uh, my divorce.

She's talking—

yes, yes. But it's actually much more subtle than that. It's these, these events that change the way you look at yourself. And it's not just invisible to others, it's also invisible to yourself. So someone is listening and saying, oh, I think I know what's, what's going on with me. I think I know. I want people coming to this practice. and come into the work of the book saying, I know nothing. I wanna learn, I wanna discover. There's an exercise in the book that we start out by saying, I want you to tell me a little bit about your story, about your life. And it could— and I have prompts. And you could start your story by saying, I had great parents, but... I grew up in a great neighborhood, but... I want you to find that But what is that for you? Because, because just because you had these great things, it doesn't mean that you did not experience moments of impact that altered the perception of yourself, which then put you on a path that maybe doesn't belong to you. So the practice that the book, uh, it takes a while to get in it because you have to understand so many things to, to do this practice, right? I call it mental stacking. And once you're in, In the book and in the content, I, I tell people, I don't want you doing more than 10 to 15 minutes. If you have 5 minutes, 5 minutes is enough. So there's these layers of thoughts. So we stack them and we alter them. We change them. We actually going against the automatic setting of our brain. And we have to do this, Jim, and I know you know this, every day.

Yeah.

To rewire the brain. So the first mental stack, I call it the cleanse, where you write what's here. You can do a verbal cleanse, you can do a mental cleanse, you can do— the written one is the best. So for example, if I was to do my first layer and I'm sitting here with you, Jim, and I need to be as honest as I can with that cleanse and what I'm saying, I'm gonna say something honest right now. Imagine everyone being honest with each other. What a world. It would be an amazing world. I'm gonna say, I wonder if Jim likes what I'm saying. That's my, that's my thought that is happening right now for me. And it comes from a fear place, right? It comes from a place of like, am I gonna be accepted by the person that I'm— the person in front of me? Is he gonna find what I'm saying right? So that's my first layer. And you can write and say as long, as much as you want to. It has to be honest. It has to be— you have to be clear in where you are with that. You look at that and say, okay, my pattern here is I, I worry about what other people think about me. That must be it. And you don't know, and you— I won't be there, Jim won't be there to say, okay, let me, let me ask you some more questions about this. I'm worried about what others think about me. Because I feel afraid of being rejected and, and not being seen for who I am. Now we're gonna add another layer, and that's the reframe layer, which is hard to do because you feel like it's not a natural new thought. But I want you to flip that script and say, I know I can be who I am because I feel like I have something important to say.

Mm-hmm.

I know this. I deeply believe it, even if you don't believe it. And then you're gonna use that reframe to action on that. And you're gonna say, okay, if I feel like I have what it takes to be here, to go on that date, to go on that job interview, how does that look like for me? And Jim, my action for today to be in this podcast, in this conversation, is that it looks just like This. The action here is to, to be real, to be open, to, to be personal, to, to bring into your podcast myself versus what I think I should bring to the table. Um, and that changes the way I see myself because now I'm arriving, I'm integrating the 3 narrators. I mean, you're bringing the survive, which, by the way, we can never eliminate that voice from that surviving mind. We— I've tried, and it lessens. It can go down to 50%, 20% of thought and behavior, but it should never— it won't go away completely. And if someone figures that out, I will be the first to buy their book to know how they've done it. So that's your mental stack, and it can look— and for those who are not, who can't see us, it can look like a very small space in your journal. It could be 3 sentences. It could be, um, I feel I can't be myself. That's the part. I'm afraid to be myself. The reframe: I love being myself because of the way it makes me feel and the way that I know others appreciate me. So because of that, let me go and wear that red sweater that nobody likes, but I do. And I'm gonna walk out the world looking like that.

And that's the action behavior part.

That's the plugin. Yeah.

All right. So you cleanse and then you reframe and then you act and behave.

And finding the pattern to reframe that pattern is very key. And actually, it works. I wanna just add a very personal example. This is my third book, Third Rodeo, out in the world where, as you know, Jim, we go into 30, 40, 50 podcasts, and I am so excited to be with you today because we know each other. But 95, 99% of the time, I don't know the person across from me. And in December, I started experiencing panic attacks.

Hmm.

I was like, where is this coming from? I love my life, and, and I am the creator of Life Reentry. I created the concept Invisible Loss. I'm like, where the heck is this? Where is this coming from? And I was— I thought I was having a heart attack. It was that severe, that difficult.

Wow.

And I figured it out. And I, I had to go back to my own basics. I had to stack my thoughts. I had to find out what it was. And it was the fear. I had created this life post the last 2 books. I went back to school. I went— I don't know, you probably don't know that I learning. I'm gonna have an MFA in painting next year.

That's amazing.

I went back to school. I said yes to myself, to, to that original version of Cristina. I, I'm living my life fully. And all of a sudden, I felt like I had to betray that part of me as this journey was just getting started and to step into that public arena again. And I didn't want to. I didn't wanna do it, Jim.

Hmm.

I had to find a way to experience an inner reentry. So my life would look the same, but the way I came to these conversations, the way I showed up in, in the publicity of this book had to be on my own terms. It had to be right for me. And from the moment I got clear on that and how that looks like, And the dial, you just— it's a slight dial. It doesn't have to be, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna move house, I'm gonna go, um, and change my relationship. It can be just a slight dial. That's why this mental stacking practice is so important, because you have to find that change that you need. And I'll tell you this, when this slows down, I will miss it. For me to say this—

Wow.

Is— I can't tell you what a surprise that is. That, to say that I've experienced such a shift and closer to who I am and showing up in every place in my life from that place, not just in art, not just with my family, but with my work, that changed everything. And maybe it might even change my future decisions that I've already decided, which, um, I can't believe I'm even saying this, could change quite dramatically going forward because— Because I reentered from the most invisible waiting room I had to date.

I love how raw and real, and at a meta level, like how your work is helping you with your work. You know, it's like applying frameworks and, you know, all the wisdom you've learned from writing the book to be able to do more of that work. You know, even I remember when I was writing Limitless and life was going on and You know, a lot of things going on in the world also as well that I would have to lean into a lot of my teachings in that book to be able to almost complete that book. I had a question because I think some people listening could have solace knowing they're not alone in this, and you're putting words to something that they have sensations and feelings, uncertainty or whatever that mixes. So there's some solace in that they're not alone. Does community play any role in this, um, either supporting or, or not supporting the work?

Yeah, community is very important, and the only way to find that community is by connecting with the other person truly as yourself. So the community that's listening right now, they're sitting alone in their homes, so they're not together. Maybe, maybe some groups will be listening together, I don't know. But, but our first— my first thought is how can they connect to you and I as not as professionals, but as humans? And we live in a world that is so filtered. So we show up on Instagram by telling people about our success without them knowing the obstacles that we have to overcome. So when they look at us, they see someone semi-perfect. and they immediately feel bad about themselves. What I want in these conversations is when you hear my— our stories and our examples, to feel, to feel better about yourself. That the behind the scenes, the, the world that you and I occupy, or when I see you in re— in, in the real life, in the real world, I want to connect with you and create a community around my own honesty. And people say all the time, Christina, you're so true, you're so honest with what you're saying. And it's actually a very rare thing because it's so hard to be truthful, not only to ourselves because we're afraid of our own truth, but to, to others. Thinking that survivor mindset says you can't tell them how, you know, you had panic attacks in December.

Right.

You can't tell them they uninvited you to the dinner. You can't look uncool. I am uncool. I am the most uncool person. I am a nerd, and, and I am accepting of myself, right, for who I am.

For the longest time, I didn't talk about my brain injury, you know, on stages or in interviews. I didn't talk about losing, you know, my hero, my grandmother, when I was 7 years old to Alzheimer's. You know, I never talked about, you know, coming from immigrant parents that you know, lived in the back of a laundromat that my mom worked at. But I realized over time how I process it is the things that I was, you know, most— maybe let's say ashamed of, I'm really most proud of. But I also think, like, it also deepened my connection with so many of our students and our community because I think people respond different when people are more real and raw. Having known you for so long, the person you are on interviews or on stage is the same person you are.

Behind.

You know, and I think And I really do think the life we live are the lessons we teach.

Yes.

You know, so you're a real example of— a shining example of your work.

And the same for you, Jim. And I think that— I don't think we can do this work without— I think it would break us if we were not showing up as ourselves. When I accepted who I was, who I am, I'm a little different. I have an accent. I'm an immigrant. I mean, let me start by saying that I used to feel not worthy enough because I used to hide behind my words on the computer because people would always be shocked when they met me on, on, on the stage. They were like, Cristina, you have an accent.

Oh, wow.

And I was so afraid of that, Jim, that because I don't sound as, you know, perfect as others. So that to me has always been a huge invisible loss. And instead of trying to mimic, uh, my peers, I now, um, marvel at the weirdness of me.

I love your weirdness. And I want to thank you so much for sharing some of that in this episode. How can— because I could talk to you for hours. What I would love for people to do, everyone who's listening, is to get their copy of Invisible Loss, you know, especially our Kwik readers who read 3 times faster and smarter than most people because they've trained themselves to do that. Recognizing and healing the unacknowledged heartbreak of Everyday grief. Where can people go deeper with your work? Where can they get the book, connect with you?

The book lives on invisiblelostbook.com. You can find it on Amazon. You can find it anywhere books are sold. My website, christinarasmussen.com. And this— if there's one thing to do after this conversation, yes, would be to be honest with one person in your life. No matter what your survivor self tells you that you're going to experience afterwards, to have that moment of honesty with someone else. And, and the second thing is to grab the book. And it's a manual. It's basically, it's something that you don't just read through quickly. It's something that changes, changes your life. So I hope you find yourself getting that book and, and having an honest conversation with someone that Matters to you.

I love it.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you, Christina. Everyone get your copy of the book. Leave a review for the book. My favorite thing to do is to gift the book. So I'm going to definitely do that for this one also as well. I've gifted out Second First, which I love the title. I've told you that many times, you know, so many times, you know, for anyone who's struggling, because this is the thing. It's some people view emotional or mental pain somehow as less traumatic than physical pain, but it's more common, you know, and it's also, you know, it can be very hard to bear. And so I appreciate you writing this book. You know, it's one of those things where saying something like, my knee hurts, is easier to say than maybe like, my heart or my spirit is broken.

Okay.

Right? And the frequent attempt, if we don't know how, just like, Our content's not taught in school, you know, how to focus or remember, you know, this isn't— we're not taught on how to be able to process this. And the frequent attempt to hide or maybe suppress this internal pain, it could further, you know, increase the burden. And so that's why everybody just remember, you've heard this before, I didn't say it, but it's that everyone is fighting a battle that no one knows anything about. So it's so important to hustle like love and If you're going to hustle anything, hustle love and kindness because one caring act can have a massive ripple effect, just like a butterfly flapping its wings in one corner of the globe. That single action could change the weather across the world. And I think that one positive vibration, idea, thought, prayer, an act of kindness even, like gifting this book, can change the entire cosmos. To end this episode, I would really like to thank everybody for listening. I challenge you to go through this process. You know, it's tough sometimes to validate and acknowledge your own feelings and go through the work. But, you know, only you can operate at your highest level and contribute your gifts to the world. Because some of this weight is not all ours to carry. And so just remember, every experience shapes you. And the key is to use them. As to be able to transcend, be able to use it as fuel. And as always, please share this episode with somebody who could benefit. And I know you're thinking about somebody, that person you wish would have listened to it or watched it. You could always watch and share the link on YouTube. We're joining our, what, 1.6 million YouTube subscribers there. We put the extended version of this conversation there. So if you're listening to this on audio, we keep it to 20 minutes because it's quick, but this conversation went longer and deeper, so you won't want to miss it. So make sure you watch it on YouTube and follow Christina also on social media. As always, I'll put all the links to everything, her books, her website, socials, everything at the show notes, jimkwik.com/notes. And so thank you everyone for listening or watching. This is your brain coach, Jim Kwik. Until Until next time, be limitless. Limitless.