How to Overcome Fear Using the Limitless Model | Jim Kwik

How do you unlimit your fear? I'm just going to riff a little bit on this thing called fear. We get a lot of questions in this community and on social media, people saying, Jim, I don't— I'm so stressed. I'm scared because I don't know what the future looks like. I've had a very tough year and I feel like fear is holding me back. And we know— I saw this this quote recently. It said, fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. And we know what fear does to the brain. When something is threatening or perceived as threatening or scary or dark, it hijacks that part of our brain called the amygdala, and we have to focus on it. You know, if it's the news, if it bleeds, it leads, right? And we know also when you're in fear, you're in this, this fight or flight or freeze kind of mode, and you're not going to get the most out of yourself. You're not going to have peace. You're not going to perform at your best. You're not going to be positive. You're not going to be as productive or maybe even as prosperous as you desire and that you really deserve. And so let's talk about this thing called fear. And what I want to do is I want you to, I want you to superimpose the Limitless Model because I want one of the things with this book coming out, um, Many of you have purchased the book. I want to thank you. We also know that the royalties of the book went to some amazing things that contributed to better life. And I think contribution is an antidote to fear. And we're going to talk about that in a little bit. But this 3-part framework of mindset, motivation, and methods, really, you could use to describe a lens to reach your dreams, but also what holds you back, because fear holds so much, so many of us back. Right. And it may limit you. And like all limits, as you learn from Limitless, limits are learned and fear is learned. They say that the only 2 natural fears that you're born with is the fear of what? Fear of falling and fear of loud noises, but, you know, fear of public speaking or fear of making mistakes or fear of looking bad. You know, those might be things that, that aren't real. They are these, these lies we talk about, and we're going to talk about that in your mindset. But how do you unlimit fear? How do you unlearn fear? Now, first of all, I'm going to refer to many podcast episodes because we've, we've dissected this in depth. So we've done episodes on these emotional signals to the brain that a lot of our emotions are these signposts. And again, you should go back to the almost 200 episodes that we published for you. It really is like an online University for not only level up your learning, but also leveling up your life. But these, these emotions are signals that maybe if you feel fearful, it's important to feel fear because that keeps you from hurting yourself, from doing dangerous things that could cause injury or harm. Fear could also— if you're— the fear I want to talk about from personal experience is fear of public speaking. You know, growing up with my learning challenges, my traumatic brain injury, I was labeled the boy with the broken brain. Many of you know my story. My superpower growing up, because I was in constant fear of being called on, was becoming invisible. I would sit behind the tall kid in class. I would shrink down because I didn't want to be called on. And, you know, because I never had the answers to anything. I would do a book report to be able to get extra credit to pass a class because I was failing. And a teacher would say, Jim, come to the front of the room and give this presentation. And I would be so scared, so fearful. that I couldn't breathe. I mean, I would get nauseous and I would lie and say I didn't do it. And then on the way out of class, after everyone left, I would throw out my book report. And part of me felt like I was throwing out my potential also as well. So that wasn't a real fear. It was a fear that was not real. There's no bodily harm that would come to me if I was giving a presentation, but it was learned, right? I couldn't read as a child because of my brain injury for a few years. And when they passed around that book, remember you would get in those circles Those reading circles, and your teacher had to have you read out loud to make sure you're pronouncing the words correctly. Every single time they passed that book closer to me, I would be so scared. It was like it was the worst. And I think I learned at that time that public speaking, you know, was dangerous, you know, where I was vulnerable. And I remember getting that book, and I went— the words wouldn't mean anything. I would just pass it on. And so fear is something that's very real to to anyone who has experienced that. And so my goal with this conversation is to give you options, uh, so you can make good decisions so that fear, you can understand a lot of fear is learned. And if you feel like it's holding you back, you have a choice. And, uh, in my book Limitless, I quote a French philosopher and he says, life is the C between B and D. Life is C between B and D. B is what? Birth. D is death. C stands for choice. And so we always have choices, and we have a choice to move forward, and we have a choice to, to say yes, and we have a choice to, to be willing to risk something. And so here I want to give you some choices so you have some flexibility. So if you ever feel scared, if you feel fearful and you feel like it's holding you back, it's limiting you, It's going to make you feel like you're in a box. In fact, do this. What is, what is something that you have as a fear that you might feel is irrational? Like for me, again, public speaking, it wasn't rational. It was just, it was in my nervous system. It was something that I felt, even though I know that it's not something that could hurt me. Right. And so what I want you to think about as we're going through this, I'll pull this up. That's what I was going to— let me see if I could share this— is this limitless model. So I'm going to show you how to use the Limitless Model to get over your fear. So let me share screen here. And so this is the Limitless Model if you're watching this on video. Now the idea here is this. I want you— we've used this before to talk about speed reading, how to unlimited your reading ability, your memory, your focus, your habits, right? Your motivation, different areas of your life. This I want to apply towards fear. So imagine an area of your life where you have maybe a high level of angst and it's keeping you in a box and it's keeping you in a box because you can't progress. You're self-sabotaging. Maybe you have a fear of success. You have the fear of the unknown. You have a fear of failure. Or maybe you're not sabotaging. Maybe you're procrastinating, that you don't know why, but you're just putting things off. And, you know, part of it is you're just scared to move forward. Or maybe you just don't feel confident because you don't have They have skill sets. So let's look at this. Think about an area of your life where you have an area of fear, a level of fear. Now you feel like you're in a box. Now this box, by the way, is 3-dimensional, right? And so it's 3-dimensional, meaning the 3 forces that keep you in that box are the same 3 forces that will liberate you out of that box. And I call them the 3 Ms. It's your mindset, it's your motivation, and it's the methods that you see here. Now let's go through this very briefly. Your mindset are the— I talk about in the book these lies, these 7 lies to your personal growth, your learning. And so some of these lies— and again, a lie stands for me a limited idea entertained. You know, in there we have ones like mistakes are failures. We have a fear of making mistakes, a fear of failing. Another fear that I put in the book is the criticism of other people matters, other people's opinions, right? Looking bad to other people. Now in the book, we go into a lot of details. So I recommend you go through that area. But mistakes are failures. Let me just address this really quickly. I recommend everybody, you just try, try, think 3 times, try 3 times. So if you feel fear, try 3 times. Number one, to get over the fear of it. Number 2, to get good at it. And number 3, to see if you enjoy it or not. You know, that's what I did with public speaking. You know, I tried it to get over the fear a little bit, a big fear of it, and just, just doing it once that I still survived it. Number 2, to get, you know, get good at it. It could be 1, 2, or 3. And number 3, to, to, to see if I enjoyed it or not. I found out that I really did enjoy it. You know, the criticism of other people matters and just things when you think about like You know, at some point, you know, there's— you think about the end of your life, and if you're in the coffin, there's not a lot of space in there for possessions, but there's definitely not a lot of space in there for regret. And a lot of people, if they had a sphere, somehow they mitigated their life. They dated or had a relationship, but they didn't pursue a relationship because they were afraid of what people thought. They pursued a career because it was expected of them, and they were afraid of standing up to you know, to their parents or fear of not looking good. Right. And so these are the areas of mindset, and we've covered that in this podcast. I would recommend it. But my point in bringing this out is I wanted you to extrapolate this so you can see how the limitless model applies towards any kind of progress in your life. Limitless, again, it's not about being perfect. It's about advancing and progressing beyond what you believe is possible. Now, the second circle is your motivation. And I want to break this down into specifically an area of fear. You know, I talk about the key to motivation. The formula is P times E times S3. P stands for purpose, E stands for energy, S stands for S3. S3S is small, simple steps. So to get over your fear, um, it's often having a greater purpose, right? You hear about making your dreams bigger than your, your why bigger than your fears. Um, you know, I totally— I talk about this individual who was an acquaintance of mine, you know, was really not making change in his life. And he was very, very unhealthy. And he ended up even having a heart attack, having bypass surgery. And still that wasn't enough fear to change his challenges. But then what happened was one day I see him and he is the picture perfect of health. Amazing, right? And he's doing all these, eating this diet and prioritizing sleep. He stopped smoking. And I was like, why did you do this? And he was like, I found my purpose. You know, I came home from a business trip and my daughter was crying hysterically. I'd find out that she was crying because she had a nightmare that he passed away, wasn't there to, to be there for her. Right. And that she found a purpose. So you need to find a purpose that's bigger than your fear. The E is energy, right? Because we know that fatigue and exhaustion, it can make anyone more fearful. Right. There's that General Patton quote that says, what is it? That fatigue can make a coward out of anyone. You know, out of all of us. And so you need energy because when you're exhausted, you know, you haven't slept, um, or you're around really, really, really stressed, you're going to be more susceptible to things that are going to affect you emotionally, especially negatively, your fears. So make sure you optimize your energy because having just energy could give you courage. And then finally, S3, when you are faced with something that's fearful, like me with public speaking, what did I do? I broke it down into small, simple steps. Small, simple steps. How can I break it down into something bite-sized? So it's not me speaking in front of an audience of 10,000 people. I would actually speak in front of second graders. And it was still fearful for me to be in front of 8 kids from second grade, right? You know, very young, maybe 7 years old. It was frightening for me, you know, but I start small. And to get your small, simple step again, if something— think about what's keeping you in that box, that fear. How can you break it down into a small, simple step by asking yourself this one question? What is the tiniest action I could take right now that will give me progress towards this goal where I cannot fail? And it's, it's so small that I'm not afraid of it. Right. Or if I, if I feel the fear, I'm still going to go forward with it because it's small inch by inch. It's a cinch yard by yard. It's too hard. So that is your energy. So purpose, find a big enough purpose, optimize your energy. So you're not fatigued because when you're fatigued, you might be less, more intimidated. And then finally break it down into small, simple, steps. And then finally, the last M are the methods. Are the methods— a lot of times we talk about fear, it's a signal to your brain, it's a signpost that you need to prepare because you are not ready. And so, you know, I needed to prepare. And the methods are the strategies. What are the strategies you're using? You know, psychologists often call this the confidence-competence loop, that the more competent in something you learn, you know, as you learned how to do it, you become more confident in in it. And because you're more confident, you do it more and you get better at it. Your competence goes up, your confidence goes up. And so that is the methods. What are your methods? So maybe methods for influencing and teaching or public speaking, right? In this case, but where do you need to prepare at the next level? So where can you upgrade your methods? Because the biggest mistake, you know, I believe people are making right now is do not downgrade your dreams To meet this current situation. You want to upgrade your mindset, you want to upgrade your motivation, you want to upgrade the methods you're using to be able to meet your destiny. And so this is just another example of how limits are learned. And it even applies towards things like fear. Break it down into mindset, or is it motivation, or is it the methods, or maybe it's a combination of all 3 of those things. Because really, when you're thinking about it, is this: life is not so much about being fearless, it's about moving forward despite our fears. That often the treasure you seek is hidden in the work that we're avoiding, or maybe the work that we're scared to take on. And sometimes what you— what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free. I believe that this consistent, intelligent action, especially when you don't feel like doing it, Cures most everything, including what? The fear itself. There's this quote that— there's a movie with Matt Damon. It's called We Bought a Zoo. Do you remember this movie, We Bought a Zoo? And he says, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. I promise you something great will come of it. Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. I promise you something great will come. Of it. And so what can you do right now? You know, go through Limitless, talk, go through the process of unlimiting those lies that might be holding you back, that sabotages that, oh, you know, the criticism of others is so important. You know, something like that, that our mistakes are bad, right? Fear of making mistakes. Remember, if fail— if failure is not an option, then neither is success. Or maybe you go into your, your, your motivation. You know, tap into your purpose to optimize and unlimited energy, break it down into small, simple steps that are not intimidating, that can't hurt you, that you can get things done, or upgrade your methods because your competence will lead to confidence. You know, I believe creating the life you want can be scary, but you know what's scarier? Regret. One day we will be taking our final breaths and none of other people's opinions or their expectations will even matter. What will matter is how we loved. How we learned, how we laughed, and how we lived. So I want to encourage all of you quick brains, all of you limitless learners, to let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. What I'd love for you to do is take a screenshot of this episode, tag me in it @JimKwik, and, and post one thing you got out of this conversation, because I believe one of the fastest ways to learn something is to to teach it to somebody else. And it gives you courage. And we all need people there to be able to encourage us, to help give us courage. And if you haven't found that person in your life, I hope I could be that person for you. When you listen to our podcast, you listen to our audiobook, watch our videos, or go through our programs, but also be that person for someone else, especially be that person for you. I'm your brain coach, Jim Kwik. I can't wait to see you in our next episode.