Stress Minimizing Technique with Emily Fletcher & Jim Kwik

Just imagine this episode, this whole series, your whole reset reaching so many people, millions of new people opening their hearts, opening their minds, inspiring them to step into the greatest version of themselves, inspiring them to get out of suffering and into possibility and to step into their highest potential.

I love that. And with that, welcome, welcome back to this, this Reset Marathon. So good to be here with you. Thank you, Emily.

I'm so grateful. I love you so much.

Yeah, likewise. I was telling you before we started to get on camera that your podcast episode was so highly downloaded and shared, and I would encourage everyone to actually share this as we're broadcasting live with you in our private Facebook group. You know, if you're watching it on Zoom also as well, keep the chats going. Keep all the comments going. This is for tremendous. This is a day that we've been spending with with my mentors and my coaches, and and you've been my long time meditation coach, and really one of the reasons why I could perform the way I do, and and you reach the the audience that we do, and you know with the kind of schedules that we keep, which is amazing. You know, I'm thinking about when I meditate using your process, Eva. It's It's like the ultimate reset, right?

Yes.

And everyone who's watching, they want to reset their brain or their mind, their business this year, maybe a little bit also as well.

Reset on 2020.

Exactly. And so, you know, I find that when I go in and I spend 20 minutes and I go through this process and I do it twice a day and I have since I was trained by you, it's like it's a new game. It's completely a new game. So thank you for that.

It's truly my pleasure, and thank you for committing. You know, so many people, it's like, well, they start and they stop, or they make excuses, and you have been so disciplined, and it's such an honor to see everything— I mean, you're already successful, but to see everything just take off.

It's a big part, even when I was writing the book, to be able to take that time and come back completely recharged, and I hope everybody has a practice like that. For themselves. And so let's get into it.

Okay.

So, you know, people right now, some people would describe this year as being challenging, to say the least, in different areas. And, you know, when you need to sometimes get things to work, you gotta unplug it, you know, you gotta reboot it.

Control-Alt-Delete.

Exactly. And so what would your advice be, you know, as we're talking about this, for people who are watching and maybe they're going through some stuff and they want to do this reset?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, to me, I mean, I know I'm biased, but to me meditation is, like you just said, the ultimate reset because I can have a million things going on. I have a 2-year-old son, I'm running a company, and we're all in the middle of this pandemic. I'm going through a huge life transition, I have a sick family member. So there's no shortage of things to be stressed about. There's no shortage of tabs open in our brains. And there's always a reason to not meditate, right? You can always find, well, I've got 8 more emails to answer. I've got, you know, 6 more grocery things to do. There's always a reason to not meditate. And yet if you do it, if you take that time to reset, to invest in yourself and invest that time, you end up getting a return on that investment.

Yeah.

You end up having more time in your day. You end up feeling better. Your sleep is more productive. You feel fresher and like you've actually gone in and closed all those tabs on your brain. So it quite literally, it's not just a mental reset, it actually over time ends up being a physiological reset.

How do you mean?

Because the meditation at the beginning will create neurochemistry, so it'll get rid of the stress chemistry, which is adrenaline and cortisol, stress hormones, but it'll start to produce dopamine and serotonin, which are bliss hormones. So you start to feel better in the meditation, which is nice, but if the point was just to feel good during the session, you could do any number of drugs. Right? So, but the cool thing with meditation is that that bliss chemistry starts to stay with you throughout the rest of your day. So you feel better in your life, not just in the meditation. But here's the really cool part. Yes, meditation is gonna be a reset for your day, but over time, as you keep a daily practice, it can become a reset for your whole life and even your whole body. Because over time, it changes the physiology of your brain and your body. You can increase the size of your hippocampus by up to 17%.

with meditation. Yeah.

You strengthen something called the corpus callosum, which I'm sure your folks know about. It's the bridge between the right and left hemispheres of the brain, and you're increasing neuroplasticity. So it's, it's like you're not just feeling good, it's not a bubble bath for your brain. You're changing the structure of your cells, you're healing yourself on a cellular level. So in addition to all the brain changes, this stress that gets stored in our cellular— and now we even know in our epigenetic memory— this stuff can start to come up and out. You can actually heal not only stuff from your life, but the stuff you've inherited from previous generations.

Like a retro reset, kind of? Not even in the moment, but historical?

Yes.

This has been proven on animals up to 7 generations. It's been studied on humans only up to 2 generations of trauma. We know that when we're in utero, everything that happens to our mother is making— it's like a postcard from the outside to the baby. If mothers are under extreme stress, that can impact the baby. It's like you're setting the blueprint for that human's health.

Mm-hmm.

Now the good news here is that it's just a blueprint. It doesn't mean that it's set in stone because epigenetics are mutable, they're changeable. Every time we meditate, exercise, read a book, go outside, eat nourishing foods, you know, all the things you're talking about in this whole program, we're flipping on these epigenetic markers. It's like we're— epigenetics are the on and off switch to our genetic code. And so every time we take a healthy action, it's turning on the healthy gene expressions. Every time we take an unhealthy action, it's turning on the unhealthy gene expressions. So this is good news because no matter what blueprint we inherited from our parents or our parents' parents, it means that we can get our hands on the wheel of our life. And now we've collectively gone through a lot of trauma as a species this year, a lot of changes of expectation. And so I think that we have an opportunity right now to really take on more trauma, build the armor stronger, build the calluses around our heart deeper. Or we can use this as a time to truly reset, to get still, to go inside, to feel the feelings that are coming up, and use this as an opportunity to take off the armor around our heart, to take off the calluses, to make ourselves more vulnerable, to feel all these feelings so that we can heal them.

Wow, I just got goosebumps. Like, you can literally see me zooming. It's like I call them truth bumps. You know, I talk about this quote in my book from a French philosopher saying, life is the C between B and D. And B is birth, D is death, C, life, is choice. You know, that these difficult times can define us, they could diminish us, they could destroy us, they could— or they could develop us. We decide. And those choices you're talking about that affect our epigenetics and how it expresses ourselves, we always have those choices.

Mm-hmm. And I think we even have a choice on like the questions that we're asking, because we could be asking the question, why is this happening to me? Why is my industry going away? Why did I get fired from my job? Why is this pandemic happening to me? We can personalize this thing that's happening globally, right? Getting in victim mode. And then it's very hard to get out of that fight-or-flight. Why is this happening to me? And if you just switch one little word, why is this happening for me?

Hmm.

Why is this happening for me? If I assume that everything is happening for my evolution, for my highest good, to usher me into the most amazing person of who I'm capable of being? Why is this happening for me? And, you know, the brain doesn't like an open loop. So if you ask terrible questions, you're gonna get terrible answers. If you ask better questions, you're gonna get better answers. Why is this happening for me? And then your brain starts looking for all the lessons, all the potential miracles, all of the insights, and that will change your whole life.

Yeah, when we change our focus for things, you know, everything changes. That part of our brain, that reticular activating system, the power of questions are often, you know, questions are the answer in a lot of ways. But I don't think a lot of people are conscious of the questions sometimes they're asking themselves. But why, you know, how is this here to help me to evolve to that next, you know, version of myself that I'm destined, that I'm supposed to be? You know, or where's the gift in this?

Yeah, that's such a good one.

Where's the gift in this? Curiosity is like, what can I learn from this situation?

Yeah, what is this here to teach me? I love that you talk about the reticular activating system because it's so much of what I teach actually in the book around manifesting. So, you know, the Ziva Technique is the mindfulness, the meditation, and the manifesting. And I was so thrilled when I had you on my show and you started talking about reticular activating system because I was like, yes, this is the filtration system. And I think that some people don't understand that, that you talk about can be so easily applied to manifesting. And manifesting is simply consciously creating a life you love, right? It's you getting intentional about what you want your life to look like. But if you never take the time to set the direction on your GPS, it's very hard for nature to give you the directions, right? Turn left, turn right. It's like, well, where, where do you want to go?

Or it might be defaulted towards something you don't want because of those questions or something else.

Or you get on everyone else's questions of like, isn't this awful? And this sucks. And this is so horrible.

And then you're on someone else's Or you're not standing guard to your mind and you're just watching everything that's threatening and fearful and dark, and you get— you steer towards that, right?

Because that's what the reticular activating system will do if left to its own devices, will just protect you from all the life-threatening situations. And this is why I find that the combination of meditation and manifesting is so much more powerful than either one alone, because if you meditate, you get out of fight-or-flight, you get rid of some of that stress chemistry in the brain. The reticular activating system no longer has to just look for Well, who's out to get me? You feel safe inside your body, in your surroundings, and then you can start to ask, well, what's my dream? What would I love? What is this here to teach me? Why is this happening for me? And then the brain starts filtering in for all of those answers. And that, like you said, can change your whole life. It really can reset your whole life. Yeah.

Goodness, goodness. So I hope everybody who's watching this live, you know, you're really taking this in. I know people are taking notes, but really, really Making it practical. I mean, think about just like how important this conversation is because, you know, one person's change of a thought, their words, their behaviors, their habits could change their whole future.

And their family, their office, their community. You know, we heal ourselves not in a vacuum, right? Like if you uplevel, it will impact your romantic relationships, your professional relationships, your personal relationships, and then you're giving everyone around you an opportunity to step into their highest potential as well. As you heal yourself, you help to heal the collective. We don't heal on our own.

Yes. So where would you begin for someone who's listening or watching this right now and they're going through their set of stuff, and we all have our stuff? Where would be a small, simple step that you would advise them?

Okay, so I would say, I mean, I'm biased, but I think really the best thing to do is to Start a meditation practice, like learn a technique like you did, like you and I did 4 days together. It was 2 hours a day for 4 days. I have an online course that's just— it's 15 minutes a day for 15 days. So I'm biased, I say know that meditation is a skill, that it does take training, that there are different techniques that will do different things for your body. But that's— and it's a time commitment, it's an investment to start a course. But something people could do—

And for me, it's interesting because people comment when I mention I don't miss a day and I do it twice a day, it really— I don't feel like for me it's willpower. It's because I'm getting such great benefit from it and I'm aware that I'm getting benefit from it and I can't imagine— like, I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't do it because life is just harder.

Yes!

You know, and it takes more time and I'm not as efficient or productive and I don't feel peace, you know. And so I feel like it's even for people who are lazy, it's—

if you don't have 20 minutes, you really need to be Yes, thank you so much for saying that, because people understand how busy you are. You know, you're so prolific in your creation and how much that you share with all of us. And so people know that you have a very full life. And so for you to say, well, I— if I don't meditate, I don't feel as good, I'm not as productive, I'm at a disadvantage, I feel like. Yes, like not meditating puts you at a disadvantage. When people start to understand that one piece, we will stop— we'll take meditation out of the like bubble bath for your brain category, right? It's not a luxury. We really have to start to see that this is the most important piece of mental hygiene that we need to be practicing every day, and it makes everything better.

Yeah.

Like, you get so much— everything is more fun when you do it. So that's that. But that's a, you know, it's a 15-day process, but I'd love to give folks some like easy, fun things they can do to really feel better in the now and really reset their day. So the first one is a little— it might seem a little unexpected for a meditation teacher, but it's a 1-minute rant. So I recommend you set a timer on your phone, um, and just 1 minute, and then press start and just let it rip. Just all the stuff you've been holding inside. I hate this, and this sucks, and this person is the worst, and why did this happen to me? And Emily told me to say, why did it happen for me? But this is happening to me. And just be like as melodramatic and as nasty as you want to be. Just let it rip. Cathart it all out. I love that word cathart. I think I made it up.

Okay.

Because it kind of sounds like fart. We're just like cathart, cathart, cathart, and then ding. And then just notice, right, 1 minute of raging or crying or whatever came up for you, and then 1 minute dance party.

Let's celebrate.

Yeah, your favorite song. Beyoncé is a good place to start. If you don't have a favorite song, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh. Justin Timberlake, Happy, you know, these are all really good songs. One minute, just let your freak flag fly, just get ding-dongy, you know, just make yourself get silly in your house. No one's watching. And then see how you feel after 2 minutes of your day. One minute rant, one minute dance party, and then that would be a really great way to set yourself up for your Ziva meditation practice.

Yeah, I would imagine doing that. Would people do that each day?

Yeah, I mean, I say yes, why not? Or you didn't— I mean, you could do it as a morning practice. You could also do it as like, I'm freaking out, I want to yell at my kids, I want to yell at my husband, I'm feeling testy with my coworkers. Let me take 2 minutes. Turn off your Zoom screen, mute your microphone, 2 minutes. No one's gonna even know you're gone from the Zoom call. And then come back, see how you feel.

And no one's listening to you do this. You're just doing it.

I mean, hopefully it should be as private as possible. As private as possible. I once tried to do it when my, like, live streaming to 4,000 people and I didn't mute myself and I was just doing my rant out loud. First of all, everyone was very distracted. They were like, I couldn't do mine because I was listening to yours. And also, now we know your business, lady. I would recommend private.

I love this. This is an incredible reset, not just for your mind and your emotions, but just, it sounds like also just for your spirit. You know, people feel heavy, like they're carrying a lot of weight in their mind.

Yeah.

And sometimes that weight is not all— it's not for all of us, you know, to carry.

And sometimes it's not even ours. Like, sometimes we might be feeling good, but we might be responding to the collective stress that's happening. And so sometimes we just need to release other people's stuff. Oftentimes when I'm meditating— I've been meditating now every day, twice a day, for 12 years, and I, I feel pretty good most days, but sometimes I see my meditation Not even as something selfish for me, but as an act of service that I'm just helping to launder the collective consciousness. And so if you're like, oh, I'm good, meditate anyway, right? There's plenty of stress out there that we can help to eradicate.

And you were saying also with our social networks, the people that we're spending time with, they notice the difference also.

Yes.

You know, your kids feel a difference, your friends feel a difference, your family, people you're spending time with, and giving them that permission also.

Yeah, and kids especially. So I've been working for the past 2 years on something that I'm really excited about. It's— I hope it's going to be the best kids meditation training on the planet.

Okay.

And it's called Ziva Kids, but it's— the thing I really want parents to know is that if they are stressed, their kids will feel that. There was a study out of Yale that had kids that were dealing with trauma, and they actually didn't even treat the kids. They only treated the parents. The parents went to therapy and the children's stress level decreased precipitously, and they didn't even treat the child. They only treated the parent. So, you know, sometimes we think that we could be stressed in a vacuum, that, oh, well, I'll just be the martyr, I'll just suffer alone. But there's no way that your stress is not negatively impacting the people around you. And so it might feel selfish to take a few minutes to yourself to do this rant and this dance party, Yeah. or to take, you know, 15, 20 minutes and do the whole Ziva meditation practice, it is the least selfish thing that you could do. Because again, as you heal yourself, you heal the collective. But also, your kids want you happy, your partner wants you happy, your coworkers want you smart. Nobody wants you suffering in silence, right? Because they can feel it. It costs them something. And, and if you think about it, we actually do a quick exercise right now. Just think about the person in your life who stresses you out the most.

Hmm.

You don't have to say it out loud. It can be private. But my guess is that what all of our people have in common is that they're in some way not self-sufficient, right? They're a day late, a dollar short. They're always sick or angry or not present or always stressed, right? And if you think about your favorite person, it doesn't have to be your love of your life, but like if you're gonna throw a dinner party, who's the first person you would invite? I mean, besides me.

You're definitely on the list.

So the person who just makes you feel amazing, that's so That always comes with something to contribute, that always has time to listen. And so what these people have in common is that they are self-sufficient.

Yeah.

They know how to handle their own stress. They know how to tap into their own intuition and make you— and they have something to give. They're generous of their time and spirit. And it's very hard to do that if you're chronically stressed. So it's like we clean our own house first. It's like we wipe the lens, we wipe the stress off of our lens of perception and And everything in our life changes.

I don't even know what to say after that. That's amazing, because I feel like that there is that, that version of ourselves that's, that's, that sometimes it's, it's buried under other people's expectations, their burdens, their, their opinions, their, you know, all of that. And sometimes we just have to show up for ourselves each day until we get to meet that better version of ourselves, you know, till we're introduced.

Yes.

You know, and so everyone here, they're chatting here and they're commenting. Is there a question you have for A question I have for everyone? Yeah, like some— whether—

yes, I do have a question. So it's, it's really simple and very, very powerful, but it's actually what I teach in the book and in Ziva Online when we get to the manifesting portion after you're meditating. So just imagine going to the most centered, deepest place of you, the happiest place, the most grounded place in inside of you right now and ask the question, what would I love right now? Hmm, what would I love right now? And the beautiful thing about this question is when you say, what would I love, it puts you into spirit, it puts you into possibility. What would I love right now puts you into present moment awareness. Not what do I want, not what do I need, not what do I think I should have, which is all expectation, lack, separation. What would I love? Possibility, spirit, what would I love now? And the beautiful thing is that's gonna be different for everyone. Someone's gonna love to have a house or a partner. Someone's gonna love to spend time with their kids. Someone would love to feel— to forgive their ex-husband or ex-wife. And so it's unique to all of us. So there's no competition, right? So we can really tap in, we can really get honest. And I think that bravely sharing it in the comments, it's like you're already bringing that thing into fruition. You're bringing it into the manifest, and we can all help energetically support you if you're brave enough to listen and to share it.

And I think that's a big part of a reset, you know, not only having resources to reboot, but also having a compelling, you know, vision for what you— what is, you know, what you love, that you can create and manifest.

Yeah, there's a quote that everything has been created twice, first in thought and second in reality. So anything you see, a chair, a house, a company, a book, you had to think the words in your book before you wrote them. You have to conceptualize the book before it becomes manifest, and that's what we're doing right now. What would I love right now?

And then they're walking creators of this. They're here because they're on a path. They're not watching this by accident. It's not a coincidence that you're watching this right now.

That's right.

Not at all.

Emily, amazing as always. How can people find out more?

The best place to go is zivameditation.com. It's just Z-I-V-A, which is a Sanskrit word that means bliss. zivameditation.com, and you can find everything there. The book is there. We have that beautiful online training, and the kids' course is coming soon, which I'm so excited about. We've developed a whole puppet with the folks from Sesame Street, and we've been working with child psychologists from Harvard. I just know how much intensity kids are dealing with right now, and I'm so excited to get this into their hands.

Yeah, congratulations on that, and thank you for doing that also. Highly recommend it all. And so everyone stay tuned because we will be back, and thanks again, Emily.

My pleasure. Bye, friends.

Hi, Kwik Brain.

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