The Power of Questions to Sharpen Your Focus 🧠

You've heard the phrase, questions are the answer. The reason why I feel questions, besides changing your body, like every time before I start recording, I always do my cross crawls and my Super Brain Yoga, and I take my supplements, and I do the things to be energized and present for you. The other part of it is not just your physiology or psychology. And a lot of those, my psychology, I could accredit to the power of questions. So again, let me give you the background and then we'll do an exercise. And my dog is really obnoxious. He's allowed outside. You have about 60,000 thoughts a day, and a lot of those thoughts come in the form of questions. And the reason why questions are so important is because your brain primarily is a deletion device. The theory I have is that we're trying to keep information out because if we let everything in, we would be overloaded, overwhelmed. We would go insane if we— there's a billion things you could focus on or think about. There's a spotlight feature of your brain. It's a filter called the reticular activating system, RAS, which you've heard other people talk about. It's part of your brain and it determines what's important to you. So, for example, your name is hardwired into your RAS. So whenever you hear your name, even if you don't recognize the voice, you're still going to respond because it's hardwired in your nervous system because it's important. And the other way of highlighting things are through the power of questions. You've heard this story that, and I've said it in the lives where my sister who happens to be visiting, you know, send me these pictures of pug dogs, right? And then I started seeing these pug dogs everywhere because I started asking the question, you know, why she sent me all these photos of pug dogs. And the idea here is I was deleting it. It wasn't important until I started to ask questions about it. Then I started seeing them everywhere. Well, what's in your reality or in your environment that is important to you that you're not— you're deleting like those, like I was doing those pug dogs. And one of the ways of doing that is to activate these Questions. So questions, sign to shine a spotlight. So the way I look at questions, the questions we ask play a very pivotal role in shaping our reality by influencing our focus, influencing our perception, and influencing how we feel. Because depending on what you focus on, it's going to affect how you feel, right? If you focus on things you're grateful for, you're going to feel different than if you're focused asking questions like what could harm you or what could go wrong and you're in that fear mode, right? It's going to affect how you focus. It affects how you perceive. It It affects how you act and how you feel. So questions, naturally, I use them as a tool consciously. And that's my invitation to you, because at some point you're doing it already. I'm just pointing out as a coach what you're doing when you're doing it well to get a result that you want. It's getting you closer to what you want. So it helps you to direct your focus. So questions naturally direct your attention. When we ask ourselves something specific, our brain works to find answers, and it concentrates on the elements related to that question. So, for example, if you ask what went wrong, right, your mind focuses on the problems, the mistakes, the failures. Conversely, what went well shifts your attention to the successes, what can be positively built upon, right? I mean, here's an exercise. I was speaking at a Tony Robbins event and he was saying, and do this like, like right now, look around, look around your environment right now quickly and look at everything that is red. Just red. Anything that's red. Just look around your environment. Red, red, red, red, red. What's red? Anything? Any clothing? Carpeting? Cars? Automotive? What's red? Just count as many things you have red. And then everyone close your eyes. And then I want you to name everything in your environment that is green. So the idea here is, um, how you could open your eyes and you probably see a lot more green. But what we, what we ask questions about, you know, what is red, what is red, we start to get the answers and that becomes our reality. It's, there's something called the red car theory. Some of you have heard of it. Um, it's the idea where if you did drive recently over the past 24 hours, which many of us have, um, did you pass a red car? And do you really know? Right. But let's say you were going to drive later today and I said, okay, you're going to get, and I know this is an international crowd, so you can do your own currency. You're going to get $100 for every red car that you spot. You're going to be looking for those red cars, right? Because you're asking the question, where are the red cars? And the idea here behind questions for focus is what you ask, ask and you shall receive, right? The questions also besides that, and then we'll go to the exercise, is it frames your perception, meaning the types of questions we ask can frame our attitudes, our perceptions about something. So empowering questions encourage you. I've Said this a long time ago, that the problem is often not the problem. The problem is usually our attitudes or assumptions about the problem. Right. And those are things I'd want to question. So empowering questions encourage a positive outlook that can open up possibilities. So, for instance, how can I make this work instills a sense of agency, right? A sense of personal power and purpose. While questions like, why does this always happen to me? I don't know, say it. Like, why does this always happen to me? I just feel like I don't have a lot of power. I can't— I don't have agency. I don't— I feel like something's happening to me, like I'm a victim. And I have a more— and it feels more passive. It actually feels— I haven't said this, like, why does this happen to me for a while? So I'm just kind of leaning into it. But it feels like I can't do anything because I feel powerless. Why does this always happen to me? And so it— so number one, One, questions direct your focus. Like I said, what went wrong? What can I be grateful for? What went well? The second thing, it frames perceptions, meaning how can I make this work is different than why does this always happen to me? Third question, the third thing that I think questions do, it influences our decisions. So what do I mean by that? Questions influence the decisions we make because it highlights, it sends a spotlight to— there's always infinite knowledge about a subject, right? And so we're only looking at a certain part of that knowledge base. And so it highlights different aspects of the situation. So let's— influencing decisions. I could ask questions like, what are the risks, right? If I ask what could go wrong or what are the risks, I'm going to more likely focus on safety, right? If I'm asking what are the opportunities instead, I could lead to more calculated risks and embrace You know, new solutions, out-of-the-box thinking, innovation, so on. And then finally, questions, I would say number 4, they— I'm going to remind you, they trigger emotions. All right. And then so it's not just the questions you ask yourself, it's questions you ask your family, your team, your potential customers. Right. It's asking, you know, the idea here is, well, you know, you've heard this, right? It's not mine. You have 2 2 ears and 1 mouth because you're supposed to listen twice as much. You ask a question and let people talk because often those answers are there. So the questions that we ponder can trigger specific emotional responses. And we know people buy, you know, primarily emotionally, especially elephants. Questions that focus on fears or doubts or past, you know, challenges can generate anxiety and sadness. Conversely, questions about hope, you know, like what lights you up? One of my favorite questions, even I don't like small talk, I'm just, I'm just not really good at it. And I think people could tell. But I was just at an event recently, and my questions are like, you know, you know, what's lighting you up nowadays? You know, passions, projects, and so on. So I ask those questions and I hear about people's hopes, their dreams, their potential achievements, and that produces excitement, you know, joy, motivation. And then questions, I would say number 5, another benefit of asking the right questions, and I'll go through my process. It amplifies and accelerates learning and growth by asking, let's say, exploratory and reflective questions. We foster learning and personal growth because that's what curiosity is, right? Somebody who's curious asks a lot of questions. Kids just ask a million why, why, why, why, why, which is a strategy, by the way, asking like 5 or 6 or 7 whys to get down to the root of a situation. The questions could challenge your existing beliefs or could require us to integrate new information. Like, is— like, I've asked a question like, what's 1 plus 1? Like, it's 11, right? But like, here's the thing, like, because most people would say that it's absolutely 2. And I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and they're like, well, let's say you have a drop of water and you add it to another drop of water. How many drops of water do you have?

Right?

Or you have a cloud that merges with another cloud, 1 and 1, and then you don't have 2 clouds anymore. You have one cloud, right? So it's the idea here is questions allow you to see something from a new point of view, and it can enhance your learning and growth. Questions that challenge your existing beliefs. And this kind of inquiry is crucial for, I think, personal growth, personal development. Questions could also create opportunities. I think it's the basis of all innovation where asking the right questions can open up a new opportunity. So let's say in a professional setting, asking about ways to improve processes or develop new products can lead to innovations and advancements. Like, it, it's like, uh, somebody not in the automotive space, like an Elon or whatever, looking in and asking a new question. Like, if we're going to create a car, an automobile today, how would we go about doing it? Right? And they won't have the same blinders as everybody. There's a book called The Structure of Scientific Revolution that says most innovation comes from people outside the industry, because if you're inside the industry, you're going to get the same education. And same beliefs of what's possible. And then finally, questions, as I use them, is also could deepen relationships. I mean, just think about even if you have a team, you're interviewing people, right? They're asking you questions. You're asking them questions. If you're going on a date, there's questions and questions. Questions that we ask can affect the depth and quality of our relationships, professional and personal. So when you're doing this inquiry, deeply into someone's experiences, their thoughts, their feelings, their strengths, their connections, their empathy. It fosters empathy and understanding, right? So in essence, the questions that we choose to focus on shape how we interpret and interact with the world.

All right.

So that, that, that's my, that's my case for why questions are the answer and why they're so important. Because again, we have 60,000 thoughts a day and a lot of those thoughts come in the form of questions. And the challenge is we're not mindful of the questions we're asking. So what I wanted to do is an exercise and let's take random situations. All right. Let's say, and you can write these down if you like, because I'm just going to free flow.

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Let's say learning is a situation. So like what? So write this down, learning, and then come up with one learning question. You're not limited to one, but like what's a question you could ask that would enhance learning? And then problem solving. We all are facing some kind of difficulty or demand or some kind of challenge. So when faced with a challenge, asking the right question can open up a new solution. Decision-making. Like when you're faced with making a decision, what's the question that you ask yourself? So what I'm asking you to do here, and notice I'm asking with a question, is to just create one question per situation. You wanna learn something? What's your question that could lead to better learning? You're facing a problem. What's a question that you could ask yourself? You're facing a decision. It could be relationships. What's a thoughtful question that can enhance your understanding or empathy? Like for me and my relationships, asking like, what's most important to you in life is very important. Like I need to know that for people that are like in my family because that's their values, right? And that's how they make all their decisions. So a favorite question of mine in relationships is, what's most important to you in life or what's most important to you in family or what's most important to you in a relationship? And some people will say respect. Some people, you know, will say fun. Some people say safety. Some people would say adventure. That's very important information because then I could ask another question like, what has to happen in order for you to feel safe, you know, or trusted, you know, or what has to happen in order for you to feel like you're having fun, right? And then people will give you their answers. It goes beyond like love languages. So if you want to— so these are where I have set questions. I have questions for learning, a lot of them, questions from proposed some kind of challenge or problem. I have questions I ask. I have questions in relationships. I have questions even about my mental health. Like self-reflection through questions can help identify sources of stress or unhappiness and lead to better mental health outcomes, right? So what kind of questions can you ask to improve your mood? You know, help you focus on things that will get you in that parasympathetic, more gratitude. Physical health. What are questions, you know, questions about, it could be about symptoms that you might be, or lifestyle or treatments that could lead to better health outcomes.

Productivity.

Like if I, let's say I'm floundering throughout the day and I want to say, how do I get more productive right now? What's the question you could ask? Like a favorite question of mine is, what's the best use of this moment? And it forces, that question forces me To to lean into something that's a little bit more productive. Conflict resolution: If you're having a spirited debate with somebody, what's the question you ask them or ask of yourself? And it's nice to have these pre you know subscribed because when you're in this state of anger or upset, sometimes we don't you know go there. But sometimes in conflict resolution, it's like you know thinking about what do you want? Do you want to You want to be right, or do you want to be in love? Or what's the question that's going to get you out? Because, or like a question like, who are you? Who are you committed to being? Maybe it's compassionate, it's loving, empathetic. And then the behavior takes care of itself. If you choose in that moment, that question forces you to be, remind you how important the relationship is. Sometimes we say things out of, because all learning in life is state dependent. You're in that state. Remember when they say when you're angry, don't send an email, don't send a, don't text that person, don't make that call. Give it a chance to, you know, harmonize and then follow up. So all of these, you know, crisis, if there's a crisis, you know, what's the right questions that could clarify a situation? And so, like, and so you could think about that and you could write some of these questions down. You certainly could share it also. Is there like a kind of a go-to question? You know, some of mine, which is taking knowledge, turning into power, is like, how can I use this? Whenever I'm listening, sitting, and even this, how can I use this? Why must I use this? When will I use this? You know, then I put in my calendar because if it doesn't happen. So like for questions for learning, besides how can I use this, when will I use this, why must I use this, um, how can I learn to listen more and talk less? Great question. When should I not use this? Great question. Absolutely. You know, other questions could be like, what knowledge do I need to fully understand, to better understand this concept, right? How, how does this information connect to what I already know is another question to relate it. Because all learning is taking something outside of yourself and connecting it to something inside, connecting something unknown outside to something that you know, right? That's why metaphors and stories work so well. Um, and another question, you know, like, in what real-life scenarios can I apply this, this knowledge or this information to, right? Then also, if I don't ask that question, I'm not going to get that. That answer, right? Even even ten x is easier than two x, which is a future book we're going through. The idea here is achieving ten x of anything is easier than two x because two x you have to work harder, right? But you can't possibly work harder to ten x your income or ten x your health or ten x whatever. You have to ask a new question in order to get there, right? It's that idea. Peter Thiel, who's you know one of the famed investors, angel investors in the United States, he's like. If I had to reach my 10-year goal, but I only, I don't know, I only had 6 months to do it, how would I go about doing it? Right. So, and you ask a new question and you ask a question no one's ever asked before, you'll get an answer no one's ever gotten before. Right. Like, let's say another category besides learning was problem solving. And some of my favorite questions for problem solving is like, what assumptions am I making about this problem? Right. Because it might not be true. Right?

Like that.

Maybe if I have a conflict with somebody, maybe that person— I build in my head that that person's out to get me and everything else like that. But you know what they say about assume, right? Oh, here's a question I ask for problem solving all the time. How would somebody that's, you know, 10 times smarter than me in this, about this subject, approach this issue? And then I'm just like, I'm all over that. How can somebody I respect— how would someone I respect approach this problem? Right. Then all of a sudden it gives me permission to step in and ask a new question. And I think about, you know, certain avatars in my mind. Then I just, in a way, relate to them or associate them or learn from them. Or some people go as far as channeling, you know, like what they— that person would do. But that's, that's what actors do, right? And actors get paid, you know, at least when you're best at what you do, you know, a lot of money. And what do they do? They They pretend to be somebody else and they ask questions like, what's this person's motivation? Right? And they model that genius. So problem-solving questions. What assumptions do I have? How would somebody that's twice as smart as me or someone I really respect approach this problem? Another question is, what am I not seeing? Like, I love— I ask this question a lot. You know, what haven't I considered yet that might be crucial? And then I ask that question and I, and I get an answer because I never asked that question. Like, what am I blocking? Like, what am I refusing to pay attention to? Like consciously or unconsciously. So, you know, that's learning, that's problem solving. I mentioned decision making, and some of you are very familiar with, you know, Six Thinking Hats and some of the decision trees that I have in Limitless. And we've done decision making and we have programs on these, on productivity talking about decision making. But, you know, things like what, what's the potential impact of this decision in 5 years? I don't, I don't think a lot of people ask that question. You know, that's the whole, the idea behind 7 generations, right? Like, what's the impact we're making over the next 7 generations is part of your decision. If you're looking, because it forces me now look, you know, in decades and, and centuries, you know, which option of the solutions here align most closely with my core values? You know, what would I What would I choose if I weren't afraid or scared of failing? You know, and then I mentioned mental health. I mean, what are some questions you could ask to improve your mental, your own mental health? Maybe things like, what, what activities make me feel recharged and more balanced? How are my thoughts affecting my mood and my energy? Who can I reach out to when I need to talk about something? Right? And like, it's these questions. Physical health, same thing. And like, what I'm thinking about for my physical vitality, and you know, I just got back from travel. I got to travel maybe 3 continents in 3 days.

Yay.

I'm, you know, I'm thinking about like, what small changes can I make when I'm traveling to improve my overall health? And then, but if I don't ask that question, I'm not going to just randomly come up with the solutions. So if I ask the question, doesn't mean I'm going to come up with the answer, but if I don't ask the question, there's, there's no chance I'm gonna just come across, you know, when I, when I need, if I'm not, you know, like mindful about it. So, um, you know, how does my body react to different travel or situations or diet or whatever? You know, what health goals am I committed to achieving this year? You know, um, productivity questions. What is currently the biggest drain on my productivity? I'll go there because I think I'm a big believer in the 80/20 rule, that 20% of your efforts give you 80% of the results. And it's 20% of the, you know, the situations that are giving us 80% of the kind of bottleneck. So, you know, what's, what's the, what's the biggest drain on my productivity and what can I do to mitigate it? You know, like how— like let's say you don't want to work out or you don't, you don't want to exercise or move because it's an important brain. Actually, you know, how can I do this but enjoy it? And then all of a sudden you think about like, you know, taking a dance class or some playing pickleball, whatever, right? You come up with ideas that wouldn't be— that'll get you outta your normal kind of, kind of space. So I just feel like it's important to have questions for the categories that are important to you, whether it's innovation, personal finance, conflict resolution, goal setting, you know, like What potential obstacles can I face and how can I overcome them? You know, how will I measure my progress and know to celebrate when I, you know, when I reach this goal? So I feel like a lot of this could be valuable.