TOMS Founder: The Dark Side of Success No One Talks About

The company was worth about $600 million. I literally had it all and it all had me. After about 5 years of what I would call more cyclical depression, it got into severe depression. And then for about 6 months, I thought about killing myself. I definitely feel like I had a dopamine addiction. I, for whatever reason, never felt that I was enough. And so I was constantly trying to win tennis matches to feel enough and then starting businesses and then starting a business that helped people. I was actually very good at satisfying the hole in my heart that I didn't feel enough. It was almost like being a drug addict and then like immediately having no access to your drug. And that's when I think the crash happened.

I feel like burnout is not always because we're doing too much. Sometimes we feel burnt out because we're doing too little of the things that make us come alive.

The pressure does not make you perform better. If anything, it keeps you out of the flow state. If my kids truly felt that I love them no matter what and that they're enough just because they're alive, That's the greatest gift we could give our children. We're all enough, you know, like we are enough.

So what if one of the biggest lies in success culture is that when I reach this goal, then I will finally be enough? You know, I've realized that burnout doesn't always come when, you know, when you're talking about high achievers, which many of you listening are on that success path. It doesn't always come from failure. Sometimes it comes from success, right? You hit these big wins and sometimes there's always something else. And maybe that if you're listening to this right now and you're at a different age or stage of life where you feel a little empty or saddened or challenges with your mental health, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs listen to this, it might feel a little bit loneliness and you're wondering how do you reconcile Going for these wins, right? And also not being motivated or feeling like a letdown, you know, post. And so that's this episode. So welcome back to the Kwik Brain Podcast. I'm your host and your brain coach, Jim Kwik. I would imagine, I think one of the underlying, we always talk about first principles when we're talking about first principles in science and success, but also in your mindset is that One of the first principles that people, I think the wounds or the challenges that we face is this feeling that we're not enough. So if you're listening to this right now, this is gonna be a very, it's gonna open your mind, but also really, I think, expand your, open up your heart. So I really, I think this is one of the most important episodes to listen to, especially in the world that we're in right now, where maybe you're feeling you're constantly achieving or driven by something, but if you feel empty or let down, If you have challenges with your mental health, you suffer, maybe struggle with depression, this is the episode for you. And we have a very special guest, someone I met over, well over a decade ago at an interesting dinner. We're gonna talk to Blake Mycoskie, and he is a philanthropist, a New York Times bestselling author, probably most well-known for founding TOMS, which really popularized the, you know, the one, the one-for-one model where at that time you're buying shoes and then children got a pair of shoes. I think they've donated upwards of 100 million pairs of shoes to children. And we'll talk about that story. And that was actually a big inspiration for what we do. You know, for those of you who've gone through our speed reading memory enhancement courses, Limitless, which has done a couple million copies sold, we've donated all those proceeds, we built schools. Starting back in 2011 in Ghana, Guatemala, Kenya, healthcare, clean water. Um, you know, I think you learn to earn to be able to, to return. And so, uh, Blake.

I like that. I've never heard that. Learn to earn to return.

Thanks for being on the show, buddy.

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Uh, I'm really excited for this conversation.

Me too.

So, um, you have a new initiative, which I'm, I'm very excited about, and congratulations and thank you for that. Not only what you do, but the manner you do it.

Thank you.

You ended up selling TOMS.

Yep.

And what— let's go into your story a little bit.

Yeah, sure.

What happened afterwards?

Well, I mean, I think, you know, I started my first company when I was 18 years old. I loved being an entrepreneur. I had made some money, and then I had the idea for TOMS. And it was, okay, let's sell shoes so we can give children shoes. And I had no idea it would get as big as it did. But it got huge. I mean, when I sold it, the company was worth about $600 million and we gave away 100 million children's shoes. Um, you would think that when I sold the company, I'd been at the height of my happiness, right? I achieved everything like my parents wanted me to achieve, everything that I thought I wanted to achieve.

Right.

I mean, I had the wife, the big house, the great friends. I mean, I literally in some ways had it all. And I often say now, and it all had me. And what that means was I, that was probably the beginning of what became like a really intense, like 7-year depression. Because when I sold the company, I no longer had my purpose that I woke up every morning with. My community was still all the employees who were my friends at TOMS, which I was no longer around every day. I was also, one of my dreams was when I sold the company was to live in the mountains and snowboard every day. And so I didn't realize moving from California after living there for 17 years that in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, it gets dark at 5:00 PM almost every day during the winter. So just even that, that had an effect. And those 3 things were the beginning of what caused me to have the first depression of my life.

Wow.

Yeah.

And then what did that lead to? I mean, so many people, you know, if we're gonna be raw and real here, I feel like a lot of people are, they're fighting battles no one knows about.

Sure.

Right? You don't usually see this on social media.

No. You know, I didn't do social media for 3 years because I was so ashamed of how I felt. 3 years. I didn't do one post.

Wow. And so you feel the shame. Some people might struggle with imposter syndrome. A lot of people are listening, watching, they're entrepreneurs, and it could be a— and loneliness is an epidemic, you know, when it comes to compromising our mental health.

I experienced all of that. I mean, you know—

How dark did it get?

It got, it got really dark after about 5 years of what I would call more cyclical depression. It got into what definitely was diagnosed as severe depression. And then for about 6 months, I thought about killing myself, and I even had a plan. I even like had the space, the day, the plan. And thank God, something inside of me said, you've gotta tell someone what's going on in your head every day. And so I reached out to a couple of my friends and I was like, every morning I wake up and I think about going to my boat. I used to live on a sailboat when I started TOMS.

Mm-hmm.

The happiest days of my life. It's so simple. And every day the boat's in San Francisco. I live in San Francisco. And I think about, okay, if I can just get to the boat, I can shoot myself on the boat. And that's what I, I couldn't stop thinking of it. I mean, that's why I'm so interested to talk to you today. And as I'm, you know, as you know, I'm launching this podcast myself called No Magic Pill that is really about exploring mental health and mental wellness. But my brain did not feel like it was working then. Like, it was like literally I couldn't control these suicidal thoughts. And it went on for months. And then finally I reached out to some people and they helped me get some help. And but it was scary. It got that bad.

Well, what gave you the courage to— because going to somebody and talking about those those dark feelings and those dark thoughts, you know, it takes a level of courageousness or boldness.

Yeah.

You know, how did you, is it because you were in such a dark place that you're looking for a lifeline or?

Yeah, I think, you know, for a long time, and maybe I wouldn't have even got to that severe of a situation had I reached out and shared more what was going on at the beginning of the depressive cycle. And so that's one of the things that I really try to spend a lot of time doing now, especially on social media is like, telling people like, hey, if you're feeling— if these things are happening in your life, like if you're starting to lose your appetite or you're not sleeping as well, or you're no longer— the things you used to love, like surfing or playing golf, you don't get as much joy out of, you know, these things are starting to pop up, you need to start talking to someone then. Because that's when early stage you can, you know, really, you know, kind of get in there and figure out what's going on. You know, oftentimes I find with people who, especially high achievers and entrepreneurs, that start to experience depression, there's a couple of things that I see pretty consistently that I definitely experienced. I mean, the first one is, is this exactly what you're talking about, is that we, you know, kind of attach our self-worth and our value to our achievements. And so when you don't achieve, that can cause you to feel depressed and down. But even when you do achieve, it almost is worse because you believe that when you got there, when you got to the top of the mountain, Right. when you got your face on the COVID of Inc. magazine, That was going to be the moment. And then when you do all that and it doesn't deliver, then it is almost more despair because you don't have anything else you can do. There's nothing more you can achieve. And if you still feel this way, then that's when I think, you know, really dark thoughts come in.

And it's not even logical, right? Because it's— it's— but it is biological. Yeah. I mean, when you think about all those neurochemicals, those highs of those dopamines.

Yeah.

You know, I can't imagine even people who are performing on stages that are I mean, like to 80,000 people and the energy is so high and coming off of that.

Yeah.

You know, there's a lot of people that turn to other, other things that whether it's alcohol or drugs or, you know, or adrenaline, just to kind of keep that high because your dopamine level is set so, so high.

Yeah.

So that's a big, that's a big crash.

Yeah. No, I definitely feel like I had a dopamine addiction in a sense, and definitely I had an addiction to external validation. That's what I really recognized when I started doing some deep therapy and inner work. Was at a very young age, I, for whatever reason, never felt that I was enough. And so I was constantly trying to win tennis matches to feel enough, and then starting businesses, and then starting a business that helped people. And what I found was I was actually very good at satisfying the hole in my heart that I didn't feel enough by all this external validation. And I actually created a lot of it for a long time. And so once I sold the company, And I kind of cut off my supply of that external validation.

Right.

It was almost like being a drug addict and then like immediately having no access to your drug. And that's when I think the crash happened. But, you know, looking back now, I'm so grateful that it did because it led me to, you know, get help, get a really good therapist, really do work around this core wound of not feeling enough, and then ultimately healing it. And for the first time in my life, really feeling peace Really feeling joy, really feeling presence with my kids, with my friends, having a healthy relationship for the first time. And in all that, it led to my next purpose, which is this Enough Movement. And that's what I'm really excited about.

And it's interesting to be able to— I wish people grace that they could look back one day at, you know, what they went through and realize that everything led them to the place they are today, right? That was struggle. came a level of strength, you know?

I mean, your story is the same thing, right? If you didn't have the brain injuries that you had, and if you didn't have, you know, the teachers say the things that they did to you about your brain not working, then you probably wouldn't have had the motivation to do the work to learn what you did that then now you help so many people with.

And it's interesting when people take that mess and turn it into their message. Yeah, I like that. You know, that adversity can be an advantage. In science, there's something called, you know, I mean, we've all heard of post-traumatic stress. We don't hear a lot about the light side of it, which is post-traumatic growth, where you've come out on the other side and you wouldn't wish— where you went through adversity, difficulty, hardship that you wouldn't wish upon anybody. But you found something in it. Like you found a mission, you found a strength, you found a trade. You've maybe reconnected to a purpose to the point you have grace where you don't— you wouldn't change what happened because, because it made you who you are today. Totally.

Yeah, I mean, it's— for me, it's interesting. I was, I was talking to someone recently and I was like, you know, and I'm a pretty, you know, I believe in God. I believe in there's something much bigger going on than just randomness in this world. And I said, you know, I think I actually maybe prayed too hard for purpose in my life, and I invited all the depression and the pain and the suffering because after I sold Tom's When I was really in a despair state, I remember praying and being like, I just hope that someday I will get to live with purpose like I did all those years with TOMS. I hope that someday my heart will feel the same way that it felt when I gave shoes to kids in Cambodia. And now I'm getting to do that with Enough, and I get to build something very similar to TOMS all over again and help a lot of people. But I never would have been able to do that had I not gone through the suffering. So in some ways, I mean, I would never wanna go through it again. And it was, I think I barely made it, but because I did make it, it prepared me to help a lot of people with this. And so I have, there's a great book called Thank God for Depression. And I actually am thankful.

There's some things you can only learn through a storm.

Yeah.

Right? And some storms come to be able to clear your path.

Totally.

And what would you say, some, like, a big learning that you had or something you had to unlearn? Like, if you were to give advice to that person that was building TOMS.

Yeah.

Like, what would your advice, your current self advise that younger self? Like, what did they, what did he need to hear?

I think one of the things I would want them to know is to be very aware of, I think what you call ANTs, automatic negative thoughts. I had this automatic negative thought thought that was going on in my brain constantly that I wasn't enough. And I think if at an early age someone had said, hey, this is dangerous, like, this is not normal, you need to like address this now, it never would have gotten as bad as it gotten. So, so I think it's really self-talk is so important. And so if you are regularly hearing something of I'm not lovable, I'm not enough, you know, I'll never be this, and if that's something that you think is motivating you, because that's the thing our culture tells you that sometimes this inner critic is actually the thing that drives you. For a long time, people told me when my mental health was struggling, they're like, well, Blake, the reason you achieve so much is 'cause you put so much pressure on yourself. If you didn't have that negative thoughts, you would never have achieved this. And that's bullshit.

Yeah.

I mean, like, I feel like I am, from a business entrepreneur flow state, I feel like I am in one that I've never been in before because all the pressure's gone. The pressure does not make you perform better. If anything, it keeps you out of the flow state. And that's one of our big principles at Enough is a lot of people say like, okay, if I wear this bracelet, if I wear this hoodie or t-shirt that says I am enough and I believe this, is that like me kind of settling? Like I'm just enough, but I wanna be more than enough.

Right.

And so, what we found is interesting. We have this woman, Kristin Neff. I don't know if you know her work, but she wrote a book called Self-Compassion. And she does a lot of research with the University of Texas. And she did this amazing study with NCAA athletes. And what she did was she took half the athletes and let them continue with their negative self-talk, their inner critic, the, you know, basically defining their worth based on whether they win the tennis match or the volleyball game or whatever. She took another group of NCAA athletes and said, okay, for just 6 months, we're gonna totally change this. We're gonna have what you call an inner coach. And every time you miss a shot or lose a game, you're gonna repeat a mantra of like, my self-worth is not determined to my win or loss or making that match or winning that game. And what she found was over time, it wasn't immediate, but over time, these positive affirmations that were tied to feeling enough, whether they win or lost, actually those athletes started to outperform the ones that had the inner critic.

Wow.

And so I say enough is like, wearing this bracelet is like actually more of like a, Like, you know, kind of screw all the people that told me I couldn't do it.

Hmm.

You know, screw all the people that said I wasn't smart enough or that this wasn't gonna work. Like, it's actually more of a positive kind of like performance hack because then when you have that attitude of like, I'm enough whether you like what I'm doing or not, or I believe in my business whether the critics think it's gonna happen or not, like that belief system and that, feeling secure in your wholeness outside of whatever achievement takes the pressure down. And when the pressure's down, that's when you can enter the flow state, right? And so, like, I mean, I feel like I'm so much more in flow than I ever was in the TOMS days because I was always so worried about whether people are going to like it, if we hit sales, if we do this. And so we were successful, but it came at a price.

And that puts you— keeps you in that par— in that sympathetic state. fight or flight, right? You're in your survival mode.

Yeah, that's not a good place to be creative from.

Right, exactly, 'cause it holds you hostage in your brain, your survival part of your brain, and holds you hostage from the places like creativity, you know, like, you know, your executive functioning, like your ability to think clearer. And then you also hold back, right? You think you're, if you just feel like everything is a saber-toothed tiger, you know, you're not gonna get in that flow state. Certainly not. And then when, You know, when you have that self-talk and everybody has that critic inside that they're not enough, you know, I always tell people, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. And often we say like, why can't I be enough? And I think what you just addressed is so important 'cause a lot of people who are listening, they feel like if they felt like they were whole and they were worthy, they would lose their drive.

Exactly. And it's the exact opposite I've found. I mean, it's so funny because like, You know, we donate 100% of our profits from Enough to these mental health organizations. So there's no profit incentive. You know, I definitely don't need to have my face on a magazine again. I did that for, you know, many, many years. And I'm more driven, working harder than I've ever worked before because I'm in a flow state and it's fun.

Right.

Like, like we talked a little bit before the show and you had asked me, like, you know, a lot of entrepreneurs that try to do a second act, They have a lot of pressure and they wonder like, okay, you know, will my next thing be as big as my first thing? And you asked me about, you know, do I feel that pressure with launching Enough? And what I said was, and I said this to someone the other day, is I said, no, it's kind of like in Vegas if you have a big win and then you're playing with the house's money.

Mm-hmm.

So now you can really go for it at the blackjack table because you've already set aside, you know, your win. Well, I feel like I've already, you know, it's, it's with the house's money. And so it's just fun. I mean, that's what's driving me to, stay up late working on it or go to India and do this or that or travel.

Right.

It's like, it's just, it's fun. And I do think that even for like a very first-time entrepreneur who really is like literally paycheck to paycheck, like scraping by to get whatever they're going, like as hard as it might be to hear this, like the more you can try to take the pressure off and try to like look at this as something that you get to do, and find the fun in it, the greater chance you're gonna have of success. I mean, I think that's one reason why you look at most of the like companies, the big, big amazing success stories, unicorns that we know about, they're mainly started by people in their 20s. And the reason is, is that they have so much less to lose, you know?

Right.

And so, they're literally like creating something that, yeah, some of 'em do it for money, but most of 'em do it 'cause they wanted to disrupt culture. They wanna do something crazy that no one's ever done. They have an idea that they're just Right. And, and they just go for it. They're having fun. And that's— and so I think it's less about their age is what allows them to think that way, and it's more their mindset. And so I think anyone at this age, at any age, can have that mindset.

I'm always looking for ways to keep my brain and my body performing their best. And the older I get— I'm in my 50s— the more I care about my cells, because your cells are where your energy, your strength, and your focus actually comes from. If your cells are slowing down, everything slows down with them. So recently I started taking Timeline's MitoPure Longevity Gummies. They're yummy, and I've noticed a big difference. These are the first gummies designed to support your cellular energy, so you feel stronger, clearer, and more vibrant throughout the day. For me, the biggest shift was energy. I could actually feel not the quick spike and crash Just steady, sustained energy that helped me focus longer and even recover better after my workouts. And because they're gummies, they're very easy. I look forward to taking them every morning. Mitopure is backed by gold standard clinical research, and it targets a key area of healthy aging: mitochondrial decline. Think of it like charging your internal batteries every day so you can stay active and mentally sharp no matter. Matter your age. If you've been feeling a little sluggish, tired, or you're not recovering the way you once used to, I really encourage you to try these. And right now, Timeline is giving our listeners 35% off your 1-month subscription of MitoPure gummies. So it's a real no-brainer. Just go to timeline.com/kwik35. That's timeline.com/kwik35. While this offer lasts, your cells will thank you. Now back to the episode. Because it's a choice, right? Yeah. There's a quote in my book Limitless that says life is the letter C between the letters B and D, where B stands for birth and D stands for death, and in between, C is a choice.

Yeah.

All right. And we always have a choice of how we're going to show up. Yeah. You know, and when it comes to burnout, which so many people are struggling with nowadays, I feel like burnout is not It's not always because we're doing too much. Sometimes we feel burnt out 'cause we're doing too little of the things that make us come alive.

Yes.

You know, and bringing that fun back into it.

Yeah.

But in order to do that, do you, for your own mental health, I'm curious, do you put borders and boundaries or guardrails around things like your time, your attention? You know, like, is it, is that?

Yeah.

Because, you know, one of the things as you grow in success, there's more opportunity that comes to you. Right, and then so, you know, and part of it is some people are stressed out 'cause they're saying yes to everything.

Yeah.

Right, 'cause these are the things that people would've wished for when they were younger, you know, for example, and that could lead to also, and that maybe that drive of getting involved in everything or the FOMO is because they are trying to be enough, right?

Exactly, it really, it's so funny. I mean, it's fun when it kind of, so many places we could explore in terms of mental health and performance. all lead back to like, at your core, do you feel that you're enough? And it's like what I'm doing now to protect my mental health, there are some basic things. So like, for instance, every morning I wake up, I really get hydrated, I go out, I look in the sun, I had the brain smoothie. I love it. You know, and then I get some exercise and like, that's a non-negotiable. Like, I mean, literally like non-negotiable. Like, I have to do that. Every single morning. And then I can, you know, do 6 hours of Zooms or a bunch of podcasts or whatever I'm doing that day. Then the other thing is, is I really try to schedule what I call scheduling joy. So like what—

Scheduling joy?

Yeah, scheduling joy. So what makes me joyful? One of the main things that makes me joyful is surfing. I love to surf. Like I will fly anywhere in the world to catch a great wave. And so I make sure throughout like each quarter that there's gonna be either micro or macro surf trips involved. So a micro trip might be like, after this whole week of doing Press for Enough, I'm going down to Cabo for 3 days, short trip, but I'm just gonna surf and enjoy myself and relax. And, you know, and that's important because otherwise burnout, even if you love what you're doing, if you do too much of it, you will get burned out. I mean, your brain can only handle, I think, so much of that stimulation, even if it's good stimulation, before it's like, I need a break.

Yeah.

So yeah, I try to really schedule that. And then my kids are like the most perfect way to avoid burnout because, you know, I have 'em on the weekends right now and my ex-wife has 'em during the week. And so every weekend I have, you know, kid activities. And so that gives me using a different part of my brain. It gives me, you know, watching a bunch of, you know, silly movies or going out and playing basketball or watching water polo practice or taking my daughter to horses or whatever.

Right.

And so that also naturally helps kind of get me into a different state. And that is great for having some balance in my life.

Yeah, a little while ago you used the word, you know, get to. And so, you know, one of the hacks in our language, you know, transforms how we perceive the world, how we feel about things. And so many people have the pressure like, oh, I got to work out, or I got to be with the kids, or I got to, you know, do these Zoom calls. But changing that little word, you know, got to, get, it just changes everything. And so what form does gratitude, you know, 'cause in order to be able to say I get to, underlining that is some form of gratitude.

Well, I think, I mean, I feel like I was always a very grateful person. I think I just, that's just been kind of inside of me. But I think the level of gratitude I have now is like, is like almost a superpower because of what I went through.

Hmm.

I mean, 7 years. I mean, 7 years of just not feeling good and 2 years of not wanting to be here and like feeling like you weren't in control of your brain. You couldn't sleep. You were totally isolated. You had so much shame for every mistake you ever made in your life. I mean, living like that, like it wasn't that long. It was a year ago that I was in that state. And so now every day I wake up that I get to do something I love, be with people I like, have interesting conversations, actually feel like my brain is like really active and engaged. I'm super grateful. So it's easy for me to be grateful.

But because you went through that, right? I don't know one strong person that had an easy life.

Yeah.

You know, personally.

Yeah. It's kind of part of the— I say sometimes, like, if we were talking to God and we were like, okay, Let's make a game plan for what this human experience is going to be like. And if it was like a movie, I feel like I must have sat down with God and be like, hey, I want a blockbuster. Like, don't give me like a Hallmark movie or a Lifetime movie. Like, I want something that's like Shawshank Redemption, buddy. Like, give me the full monty, you know? And, and yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's funny. I think about that a lot. Like, did I really call all this in? so that I could have this full experience, and maybe so.

Yeah, and maybe when people pray for patience, you know, life gives you things, you know, distractions, and like to be able to strengthen that patience, right? Or anything, or faith, you know, to be able to test your faith and our courage, it gives you, you know, opponents, or, you know, in the movies, there are these supervillains, you know, but the size of the hero is determined by the size of the villain, right, in the analogy. And so with challenge comes change. And I think the life you live are the lessons that, that we teach, right? Brené Brown talks about, you know, a lot of that, and I'm paraphrasing, but the struggles that you're going through, you know, your story becomes a blueprint for somebody else who's looking for help and real hope.

It's so interesting. I read that someone sent me that quote the other day, and I posted it on Instagram, and I was like, I feel like this quote from Brené Brown is exactly what I just experienced. Like, my struggles literally created the blueprint of what my next purpose is. Like, and it was so cool. And it's interesting you brought that up 'cause I just saw that quote for the first time.

So what are you doing now for your own— so you have your routine, you have your morning routine.

Morning routine.

That's important. Right, you have your hydration, you have your movement, you look at the sunlight. And these are things everybody could do, right? People could do with their kids. It doesn't take a lot of time. It's free. You know, so it's very, very cost-effective. Throughout the day, do you have things to kind of regulate or maybe evening? Like rituals that are also non-negotiables, you know, for preserving your own mental health and just reinforcing that you are worthy because it also provides evidence. 'Cause what you nourish flourishes, right? So it also provides evidence that you are enough 'cause you're taking care of the, you know, thing that matters.

I mean, I think one of the most important thing, I think Tony Robbins says, the greatest determinant of the life we'll lead is the 5 people we spend the most time with. And I think that's a really great thing to focus on. Like, I think throughout the day, who are you spending the most time with and how are they affecting you? 'Cause they might be affecting you way more than your environment, your economic situation, your family. I mean, so it's really, I'm very, very thoughtful about the energy of the people that I spend a lot of time with during the day. I think that's as important as the morning routine, frankly.

Yeah.

Because they just have such a huge impact. You know, and then the other thing that, you know, I really enjoy doing is trying to find some way, even if it's just like having a non-alcoholic beer at the end of the day, 'cause I don't drink, but like some kind of ritual to kind of end the day.

Right.

And I think that's a nice thing, you know, and sometimes it might be watching my favorite show with my partner or, you know, reading a book or something just to say that like, okay, I'm moving away from high-performing Blake Right. Who's like trying to build this global movement to just, I'm sitting on the couch drinking a non-alcoholic beer, watching the sunset, you know, or I'm just going for a little walk. I live near the beach, you know, or, you know, something to kind of just say the day is done before you get into kind of sleep mode.

And scheduling it is so important. Like, you're scheduling your joy, 'cause I think one of the most important productivity or even peace, you know, of mind, you know, tools that we have is our calendar. But a lot of people don't put things in their calendar. They'll put their meetings meetings with investors or, you know, PTA meetings or whatever, but they don't always schedule their own, their white space to think, to be creative, to do self-care.

I do that. I mean, literally my calendar is full whether I'm working or not, 'cause it's full with like surf from 6:00 AM to 8:00, or workout, or, you know, time with my partner, or, you know, like dinner with friends. Like I put everything personal and professional, I guess, on my calendar because then it does kind of show like where your priorities are. You know, your calendar doesn't lie. You know, that's really like, if you really wanna look at your life, look at your last 3 months of your calendar.

Yeah.

And then you'll see. And you could even, the cool thing about, I love AI. One of the things you can do with AI is you can literally load your calendar into AI and say, okay, tell me what percentage of my time was with my partner, with my kids, Making time for like, like actually like mindful meals, not eating at your desk, you know, type thing. And yeah, it's a pretty interesting exercise.

Yeah. When I'm coaching clients in performance or productivity, you know, you could tell a lot about a person even if you don't even meet them just by looking at things like their calendar, their phone usage, their bookshelf. And again, going back to the people they spend the most time with.

Yeah, the people is a big deal.

Right, because who you spend time with is who you become so much.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you spend time with 9 broke people, you're probably going to be number 10. But also, and these people could be well-meaning too. You know, sometimes people go and they'll make a resolution, they'll go to an event, they'll make a change, but then they'll go back to the same environment, which includes the people that say, why are you trying that? Or why are you always doing that? And they can have good intentions, but they can be sincere, but they can be sincerely wrong.

Yeah.

Right? Maybe they're afraid you're gonna outgrow them, or maybe you're representing like some change, and change is threatening to them.

Sure.

You know, and so you could choose those peers. You can love, you know, your family, 'cause I'm sure a lot of people are listening to this, they have a partner or somebody that's a negative person in their life.

Sure, and it's just, yeah, and they're their family, and they have to figure out how to work with it.

Yeah. I was having lunch years ago with, with Susan Cain and Simon Sinek, and we're talking about introvert, extrovert. And I don't know which one you, you kind of, kind of feel called or identified with, but they're saying an introvert is somebody who wakes up with 5 energy coins, and every single time they interact with somebody, they give out one of— they give away one of their coins to them.

Mm-hmm.

And then once they're depleted, they have to go back and kind of reset. Right. But an extrovert wakes up with no coins, and every single time they engage with somebody, they get one of their coins. Right. So they just want to energize. But definitely the people you spend time with could affect you and we could choose those people.

Yeah.

You know, and sometimes it's a little bit hard.

Yeah.

Also, if they reinforce you're not enough, 'cause I mean, think about, like, I was thinking about on the way here, like, where does that feeling or that thought that you're not enough come from? You know, and, you know, I think we've all had experiences, or if you even think, I'm a new father in my 50s. So we have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. So it's different stage, you know, and I'm learning a whole lot about myself.

Totally.

And individuals. But I'm thinking even things like it was raining and, you know, the other day and we go for these walks with my son and I said to him like, oh no, we can't, it's a bad day out. But subconsciously I realized I was teaching him your happiness is dependent on the weather, something like that. And it's very subtle.

Subtle, yeah.

But I think as parents also, like, I think the idea of you're not enough, a lot of it came from early, you know, it was imprinted on us.

Even good-meaning parents. I mean, I have amazing parents. Like, people, when I share my story, they're like, my friends love my parents. And like, and I'm like, but, but, you know, even my dad, incredibly well-meaning, he had a lot of pressure from his dad. And I think his dad had a lot of pressure from him. And there's no doubt that there was a lot of pressure subconsciously put on me to win tennis matches, to get great grades.

And that was reinforced too.

Yeah. And then the more I won, the more seemingly love that I got. And so, it wasn't like, I mean, there's some people unfortunately that have parents where they're telling them they're not enough. I mean, they're literally creating real trauma. And I'm getting ready to have Gabor Maté on my No Magic Pill podcast. And we're gonna really talk about that because there is some people that really have to do some deep healing around this idea of enough. It's not just wear the bracelet and have the daily reminder.

Sure.

But a lot of people, as you were saying, this happens at an early age because so much of our culture and our parents are just part of that culture are geared towards win the match, get the girl, you know, do the thing, you know, like, and it's not necessarily that they're— they think that they're trying to help us, you know, and in some ways they are.

Right.

But when it becomes so conditional to how people view you in society, you start to feel this. I mean, one of the things that I love about the project we're working on is I've already started to hear stories of a parent, you know, giving the bracelet to their 13-year-old. And right. And they're like, they, and they just know that between 0 and 13, there were times that they didn't mean to, but they made that child feel that they had to get a certain grade or win a certain match or what this, so that they would have their love.

Mm-hmm.

And they sit down with them and they say, look, I'm sorry. I think that this has probably happened in our relationship, and I want you to wear this bracelet to know you're enough every day. And like, I mean, I'm getting like crazy emails, messages on Instagram of things already happening just in the first couple days. And it's so cool because, you know, it's just a simple way for a parent to give a message that I think is, as a parent and as a new parent, you can probably relate to this, is that like at the end of the day, like if that's the only message we gave our kids, we would've had success.

Hmm.

Like really thinking about like if my kids truly felt that I loved them no matter what, And that they're enough, whether no matter what they do with their life, they're enough just because they're alive. Like, that's the greatest gift we could give our children.

So how would you, where you are at right now, your current self, how would you define like success or winning?

I think the thing is, you know, Joseph Campbell, who I love reading his works, The Hero's Journey, you know, he says something that I really love and he says, just follow your bliss.

Hmm.

And I think that if you are getting to spend your days following your bliss, you're winning. Whether you're a bricklayer, a janitor, a CEO, an entrepreneur, a parent. But, but it's kind of like you said, like, if you are spending your days, you know, doing something you don't love or don't enjoy or don't have passion for, then Even if you're successful, you're not gonna feel good.

Hmm.

You know? You know, so that's, you know, so it's really about following your bliss. It's about finding a way to put yourself in a position where you really get to follow your bliss. And I think that's what success is. And I think right now, you know, we're hoping that we get millions and millions of people around the world to wear these bracelets and be part of this movement and raise all this money for mental health nonprofits. And success has none of that, none to do with that. Like, both of those can be true. Like, I can have huge goals and aspirations, and whether those ever happen or not, we will have so much success with this project because we're all, everyone working on it, small team, we're following our bliss and we're loving it. And that's, that's really what matters.

And you're embodying it because that the message for people listening also is like, you could, you could achieve and you could also be whole and worthy at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive.

They're not mutually exclusive. And I think for a lot of our culture, we have been told that they are, that the achievement is going to happen because you are missing something, you're needing something. But the reality is, is I think, as I said before, that feeling whole and really doing the work to source your enoughness within gives you almost like a superpower to go out and achieve and accomplish things. Because it's almost like in sales, I feel like, When you're desperate for a sale, the potential customer can feel it, especially in B2B sales, right? And so it's very hard to drive a sale when you really, really, really need it and you're desperate. Now, when you don't necessarily need it and you're more of a magnet, you get customers all day long, right? You know, and, and so it's— but the only way you can be a magnet and you can kind of attract that level of success is if you feel good yourself. If you feel— if you If you believe in your product, if you believe in yourself, then others are too.

Right.

So I think it's really, I'm excited because I think that this idea, while it came from a really painful place for me and it came from a deep healing, it actually is applicable to people who've never had a mental health problem, but are really just looking to live a happier, more peaceful, more successful life. And just a way to check in and be like, okay, am I projecting out into the world a feeling of enoughness or am I projecting out a feeling of scarcity or deficiency? And that has a huge impact on what you attract.

And whether it's in business or a relationship or anything, if you come out with that desperate, like you need something to make you more complete. And it's kind of like relationships also. If you feel like you need somebody else to complete you, Right, that whole analogy, you complete me, then you come outta desperation, then it also feels like there's that same lack, right? Where you feel separate from what it is as opposed to being whole.

Totally. I mean, I think that's really, it's so true. And I think that's what I like about this is this, and that's why I say it's really from a place of strength, your enoughness. It's not from a place of weakness.

Well, what would you say? You mentioned a number of times your bracelet.

Yeah, yeah.

Which is very catchy. Yeah. it also as well.

I have one for you here.

Why don't you— why don't we talk about this?

Sure.

This initiative.

Um, okay, so it comes— for those who aren't watching this on YouTube and they're listening to it, uh, it comes in a box, a green box, and the color green is because that's the mental health awareness color. And inside it you'll see there are 2 bracelets, and the reason there are 2 is we give you one to wear and then you get to choose the next person that you will give one to.

I love, I love these words.

And the words are written by our good friend, you know, NQ, right?

Yeah.

So NQ wrote that poem. And so I asked Adam, I said, hey, I'm creating this initiative. I want to make it really easy for someone to give the second bracelet. So a lot of people won't know what to say. They might be intimidated. They might think it's too intimate. They don't want to be too vulnerable. And so he wrote the poem. And so inside this, there's a little green envelope in there.

Yeah.

And you can hand them the envelope and the bracelet, which has the poem. But the first 4 lines of the poem, I think, really matter. And it says, I see you, the you behind the you, not for anything you've done or anything you're gonna do. And I think that's what this is about. It's like really seeing each other.

And I think people in this world, right, we wanna feel seen.

Yeah.

We wanna feel heard.

Totally.

And even the time that you, you know, that you have dedicated time with your children, You know, the power of presence. Oh, you know, and because that's what it's not necessarily that we hear this, right? It's not the quality. It's not the quantity, but it's the quality. It's that gift that we give people where we're not distracted and where we put our time and our attention to, you know, is extremely powerful. Thank you for this.

Yeah, this is awesome. Great. Here, if you hold your arms out, I'll put it on you in the ceremonial way we have.

So, and then where were these created?

They're made in India. Handmade, hand-beaded in India. And then 100% of all the profits go to mental health organizations.

Where would somebody get theirs?

You can get it at wearenough.org. And we have bracelets, we have t-shirts, we have hats. All the products go to raise money for mental health.

And it's a great reminder also, 'cause you see it—

Every day.

Yeah, whatever you see consistently is also getting imprinted on you as well.

Exactly. Yeah.

And people could also pay it forward by sharing with other people. The website again?

The website is wearenough.org.

That's perfect. We'll put that also in the link in the show notes, jimkwik.com/notes. This is— what's the vision here for the movement?

I mean, you know, for me, I think that— I think having a bracelet, having something you wear that's a daily reminder, but it's also an invitation to have conversation. So like, if we can get enough people wearing these, no pun intended, right? And you're at Starbucks and you see a stranger wearing and you're wearing it and you kind of look at each other, it's like you might have a conversation like, hey, how are you? Like, how are you really doing today? Because anyone who wears this is someone who is saying to the world, like, I have a certain level of awareness and respect for mental health, whether I've struggled or I know someone that struggled or I just want to help raise money for this cause. Like, that's like a different level of consciousness that I think you're projecting out that you have by wearing the bracelet. And so if we have enough people wearing it, then it'll have more conversations, there'll be less loneliness, like what we talked about at the top of the show.

Yeah.

And I think that in itself is worth doing the project for. And then on the flip side is because we're giving 100% of the profits, and I believe that if we get a lot of people wearing this, kind of like we did with TOMS Shoes, we can raise tens of millions of dollars to organizations that really need it.

I love it. Yeah, I absolutely love it. How do people stay connected with you?

So the best way for me is Instagram. Um, I, I really share my whole mental health journey regularly. I share the good days, the bad days.

There are bad days.

There are bad days. Yeah, there are. I'd say about 1 out of every 12.

A lot, a lot less frequent.

Yeah, a lot less frequent. But about every 2 weeks I wake up and I'm not feeling like 100% and I have to go deeper into my practice I have a meditation I do, an enough meditation where I say, I am enough, I've always been enough. And I say it enough, literally over 20 minutes, that by the end of it, I start saying it sarcastically, like, I've always fucking been enough. And it really gets my body back into a good state. But I share all that on Instagram. It's just @BlakeMycoskie. And I really enjoy engaging with people there. After not doing Instagram or anything for 3 years, 'cause I was just so dark, Yeah. Um, and so shameful. Now doing it is, uh, is, is really fun and it really feels like it's a community. So yeah.

Outstanding. I, I encourage everybody who's watching or listening to take a screenshot wherever you're consuming this and post it and, uh, follow Blake, tag him, uh, tag, tag myself. Uh, I'll, I'll repost a, a few as, as we always do and share, uh, in the post. What would you like them to share?

I think that just we're, we're all enough. You know, like, we are enough. And, and tell someone that you love that they're enough today.

Yeah. And it's— there's a certain level, I feel, of grace also knowing that we're not alone.

Exactly.

That I think also that this conversation is a reminder that everyone has battles that other people don't, don't see. That's why kindness is so— is a superpower.

Exactly.

Now, and we'll put links again to Blake's social media, weareenough.org, and also your, your new podcast.

Yeah. The podcast is called No No Magic Pill. And you can get notifications, comes out in May, but at blakemycoski.com, we have a little email signup if you wanna be notified when it comes out. And you're gonna be on it, so that's next.

All right.

Great.

Thank you so much, buddy. I appreciate it. Everybody, this is just a wake-up call or just a reminder for everybody that might be going through difficult times. You know, it's a reminder that you are enough, you know, regardless of, You know what? You've always been enough, regardless of what you've thought or bought or created or not created or done. You've always been enough, and you always will be also as well. And also to seek help, because how do we become limitless in a limited world? We do it together. Now, if you're listening to this on audio, I encourage you to subscribe and join us on YouTube, where we put the extended version. You could join. Couple million subscribers there. I highly encourage you to not only listen to this episode, maybe re-listen to it, and also get your get your bracelet and one to be able to gift to a friend or family member who you could change their life with that, right? You never know the ripple effect.

Yeah.

And and until then, we look forward to seeing next episode. Until then, be limitless.