Turning 50: Life Lessons for Limitless Living (Part 2)

Welcome back to the Kwik Brain Podcast. I'm your host and your brain coach, Jim Kwik. In our last episode, I shared with you 25 lessons that I've learned turning 50. And in this episode, I'm going to share with you 25 more. And before I do so, I want to thank each and every one of you who pre-ordered our upcoming book, Limitless Expanded. This is the updated version with new case studies from our readers, with new science, with new chapters on nootropics, on using AI to enhance your HI, your human intelligence, brain animal types and learning agility, Limitless in the workplace, and so much more. If you want to get our 13-day quick start program as my gift to you, which is worth a lot more than the pre-order of the book, just go to limitlessbook.com and pick up a copy for you and pick up a copy for a friend. Okay, and with that, I'm going to share with you the second 25 lessons that I've learned going around the 50 times. Lesson number 26, your comfort zone is a nice place to visit, but not much grows there. I recall a time when I had to speak at a major, major conference, and this was the biggest one in my career up to that point. And I was, I was pretty comfortable with smaller audiences, but this was different. This was terrifying and beyond scary. And I could have declined. But something in me said, I have to do it because I'm going to regret not doing this. So I didn't want to stay in my comfort zone. And I took the leap. And guess what? It was a phenomenal experience. I didn't, you know, crush it, but I was proud of myself afterwards. And I grew not only as a speaker, but also as a person. And it taught me that while our comfort zones are safe and they're familiar, they are also incredibly limiting. Growth, as I've learned, is playing and practicing at the edge of what's possible, right? And life is hard for, for 2 reasons: either because you're leaving your comfort zone, or life is hard because you're staying inside your comfort zone. So remember that the comfort zone is a nice place to visit, but not much grows there. Lesson number 27: Sometimes a loss is really a gain in disguise. I remember a time when a long-term client decided to end our contract, and it was a big deal because they were our biggest client. And I felt like this was such a loss and it was such a setback. But in that space, there was new opportunities that emerged because it forced our team to ask a new question. You know, how can we not be dependent on one source of, a major source of revenue? How can we diversify and add more value in the world? And I had more time losing this client to explore, to create, to strategize, to brainstorm, to— for our team to expand our reach. And that loss was really, in a way, a gain. I learned that in our life, when we lose something, maybe it's a person, maybe it's an opportunity, that in subtraction there is multiplication sometimes. That when you subtract, you could also multiply. It taught me that sometimes what seems like a setback is actually a setup for a comeback, right? That you could bounce back, but also bounce forward. And it's all about perspective. Lesson number 28, you have permission to rest. You don't have to fix every single problem for every single person. You know, in my quest for growth, for achievement, you know, I often push myself to contribute to the brink of burnout, to the brink of sheer exhaustion. And I felt responsible for fixing everything and everyone that was coming to us. for me to always feel like that I was moving forward. But I learned the hard way that it isn't sustainable, and it's certainly not healthy. There's no harmony in that, right? That if you're persistent, you could achieve it, but if you're consistent, you get to be able to keep it. And I wasn't being consistent because I would burn out. And there was a period of this burnout where I was on the decline. It was a real wake-up call. I ended up in the emergency room 'cause I was going days without sleeping. And I learned to give myself permission to rest, to recharge, to rejuvenate, to be able to recover. And I learned that it's okay to pause, to breathe, to take care of myself, and that you are not responsible for fixing everything that is broken. You have permission to rest. Lesson number 29, control the controllables. There was a time when I was leading a brain training workshop and it wasn't going at all as planned. The technology kept on failing. The venue was noisy. I was stressed. I was frustrated. And then I took a step back and I realized I was trying to control things. Some of them were beyond my control, and I shifted my focus on what I could control. I could control my content. I could control my energy. I could control my focus. I could control my delivery. I can control my attitude. And the workshop turned out to be one of the most memorable ones that I ever did, even to this date. And it taught me the importance of focusing on what I can influence and by letting go of the rest. And the things you can control are what's in the Limitless Model. You could always control your You could always control your motivation, and you could always control your methods, right? So you could always control your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors. Lesson number 30: Be a thermostat, not a thermometer. And you've heard me talk about this all the time as a speaker, as a coach. I've learned the power of influence through teaching, the power of setting a tone. And a thermometer, what does it do? Its only function is it reacts to the environment. Right. But a thermostat doesn't react. It gauges the environment, knows the temperature, but what does it do? It sets it. And I've been in rooms where the energy was low, the enthusiasm was missing, the focus was everywhere, and I could have mirrored that and reacted like a thermometer. And sometimes we act like a thermometer. We, we react to how the economy is doing, how people treat us, how to the weather. But instead, I chose more to be a thermostat, to influence my environment. With my energy, with my thoughts, with my commitment, with my passion. And guess what? The energy changed, right? I changed it, set the setting on the thermostat, and the environment changed along with it, and the enthusiasm rose. And being a thermostat, I learned it's about taking initiative. It's about setting the tone. It's about leading by example. Lesson number 31, dreams without discipline is Delusion. I'm all for positive thinking, but you could dream about things and hope the law of attraction creates it, but it requires also the law of action. And I've always been a dreamer because that was my way of escaping the pain and the struggles I was going through growing up. And for a long time, my dreams were just that. They were dreams. And a dream that you're not pursuing actively is like a nightmare. And they were ideas, they were aspirations, but they weren't coming to life in any way, shape, or form. And then I learned a powerful truth about dreams that dreams without discipline is a delusion. And I began to apply discipline to my dreams. Jocko Willink talks about that with discipline equals freedom, the freedom and the power to achieve your dreams. And I started to set goals and create routines and blueprints. And I started cultivating the habits, 'cause first you create your habits and your habits create you. And slowly but surely, my dreams began to take some kind of shape, and it became more of a reality. And it was a profound lesson that dreams, no matter how grand, require the humble ingredient of discipline. Lesson number 32: Questions are the answer. You know, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. The problems are 95% of those thoughts are the same thoughts you had yesterday and the day before that. So if you want to affect change, A lot of those ideas and those thoughts come in the form of questions. Early in my journey, I sought answers. I read books, attended seminars, consulted mentors. But the most powerful answers came not from all those external sources— some of them did, certainly— but from within, from my own questions. I learned that asking the better questions can unlock deep insights, can steer us towards the answers we seek. We talk about the reticular activating system and how the brain primarily is a deletion device. And by asking questions, It shines a spotlight on those answers. But what are the questions you're asking on a regular basis? When faced with a challenge, I learned not to ask, why is this happening to me? But maybe a question is, what is this teaching me? What's the best use of this moment? You know, how could I do this and enjoy the process? Questions, I found, really are the answer. Lesson number 33, if your mind is full, then write. If your mind is empty, then you wanna be able to read. And I've done this for decades. Throughout my life, I've used two of the most powerful tools to navigate my mental landscape: writing and reading. When my mind was crowded with thoughts, ideas, rumination, worries, then I wrote. It was a release. It's a release, a way to declutter my mind, to make sense of my thoughts. And when my mind felt empty, uninspired, then I went to reading. I filled it with wisdom of mentors, wisdom of other authors, with new ideas that came, new perspectives and new behaviors. And these simple tools of writing and reading became my mental balancers, if you will. You know, my means of achieving clarity and also inspiration. Lesson number 34: Our time is limited, but our mind is limitless. Right? It's our leverage. I've always been acutely aware of the finite nature of time. I've had in my life 2 near-death experiences, and I think, you know, having those moments kind of makes you reflect That tomorrow's not promised. You know, like, you know, we have today and, you know, one life. You know, why aren't we running towards our dreams like we are, like we're on fire? And it's a resource time that we can't renew, but our minds, they are limitless. You know, there's no limitations to what you can learn, to dream, to imagine. You could create without bounds. And understanding this made me value my time, made me invest in expanding my mind. You know, each moment became an opportunity for me to learn deeply, to grow, to create. And this dichotomy of limited time but a limitless mind became a powerful driver for my own journey. Lesson number 35: Growth is hard and change can be painful, but nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere that you don't belong. I just got goosebumps saying that. I call them truth bumps. There was a time in my life when I was stuck in a position that didn't fulfill me, that didn't align with my passions. You know, it was kind of comfortable, it was kind of safe, but I was not happy and I was certainly not fulfilled. And the prospect of change, of growth, it's daunting, right? It's uncertain. And, you know, the pain of being stuck though is just a lot worse. Like, what if you imagine 5 years pass and nothing changes? You know, how would you feel? 10 years pass, nothing changes. Like, if I was to think like I'm going from 50 to 60 and I'm exactly the same person, I wouldn't feel that good, right? So every day you, you have a chance because you have a choice. And I choose growth. I choose change. It was hard. It's, it is still painful, but it led me to where I feel like I belong, helping others unlock their brains, their mind's potential. It taught me that while growth is hard and change can be painful, There are pathways to fulfillment, to authenticity, to where we truly, truly feel like we belong. Lesson number 36, knowledge is potential power. Now, you've heard me say this for 3 decades. I remember when I began my journey to improve my brain health, my learning, I devoured countless books, articles, research studies, and I had amassed knowledge like you cannot imagine, but my brain health didn't improve. And my grades didn't improve, and I was still stuck. And it puzzled me until I just realized that just knowing something doesn't make a difference, right? If you read a book and don't apply it, your life is no better than somebody who couldn't even read that book, who's illiterate to begin with. And so knowledge is not power, it's potential power. It only becomes power when we actualize it, when we apply it, when we implement it. So I began to put knowledge Into action, right? You wanna think like a person of action. You wanna act like a person of thought. You know, I started to do my brain exercises. I started to change my brain diet. I started to incorporate mindfulness practices. I started to practice my memory palaces, my speed reading. Sure enough, I began to see change positively. It was a powerful lesson in the potency of applied knowledge. Lesson number 37, the problem is not always the problem. The problem is often our attitudes and our assumptions about the problem. I remember years ago, one of my workshops, a participant was struggling with a memory exercise. He was very frustrated. He was ready to give up. And I took him aside during a break and I asked the person to explain to me what the problem was. And he made it clear that the exercise wasn't the problem as he spoke to me. It was his assumptions about his own memory abilities. I asked him, To, you know, to approach the exercise again, but this time with an open mind, as if you're an 8-year-old child, free from assumptions. And to his surprise, he was able to complete it, right? And even do it better than most of the class. And the problem, I learned, often lies not in the situation itself, but in our attitudes and our assumptions about it. Remember the power of our mindset and the power of our own beliefs. If you think you can or think you can't, As Henry Ford said, either way, you're right. Lesson number 38, improving just 1% a day equals a 37 times improvement over the course of a year. You know, if you took that 1% and compounded it daily for 365 days, it becomes a 37x improvement. You know, so if it's your optimism, if it's your reading ability, if it's your confidence, it's your capability, What are you getting better at? What are you getting better at every single day, just a little bit? Because little by little, a little becomes a lot. I've always believed in continuous improvement, but the impact of small, consistent improvements was what truly brought home to me when I started training. You know, like doing a marathon. You know, I started with short runs and I gradually increased the distance, and each day I would improve just a little bit more. But over time, those little improvements really started to add up. And by the time the marathon came, I was ready and I completed it. You know, and this is something I never thought it was possible for me before that. You know, it taught me the incredible power of compounding, of consistent incremental improvements. Remember, little by little, a little becomes a lot. Lesson number 39, your today is more powerful than all of your yesterdays combined. What does that mean? I used to carry the weight of my past, my failures, my mistakes, my missed opportunities, and they weighted me down. And I'm here to just remind you that not all that weight is meant for you to carry. You know, they shadowed my present, pulling me back. And, you know, you can't steer the car through your rearview mirror, right? And then I— because I realized that my power resides in my now, in my today, right? No matter how many yesterdays that I had in 50 years of yesterdays, it's my today that has the power to create change, to write a new story, to start a new chapter. This realization was very liberating. It was very unlimiting, to use one of the words we use in Limitless. I let go of my past and I started to embrace my present. Really what empowered me was the knowledge that my today is more powerful than all my yesterdays, Lesson number 40, you don't inspire people by revealing your superpowers. You inspire people by helping them reveal their own superpowers. You know, the reason why I wrote Limitless and I opened up with the hero's journey, Joseph Campbell's framework for the hero's journey— so it wasn't about me being the superhero, it was about you being the superhero. I wanted to be the Miyagi or the Yoda, if you will, that helps you, you know, on your journey. Because when I started my career as a brain coach, I was eager to share my knowledge, my skills, my superpowers, and do these fancy demonstrations. And I still do it every so often if I have time to show people what's possible. But I, I thought that was how I could inspire others. But over time, I realized that true inspiration comes not from revealing your own superpowers, but by helping others discover theirs, right? People would see me do these demonstrations memorizing, you know, 50 people's names in an audience or 100-digit number or 100 random words. And they always leave saying, wow, you know, Jim is really impressive. And then they go about their day. But when I show people how, I pull back the curtain and show them how to do it themselves, that's where the shift changed. Like the shift in my focus to helping other people unlock their potential, you know, their impact. It became incredibly profound. I get emotional even thinking about it. People weren't just inspired, they were empowered, right? And it was the difference between inspiration and empowerment. It was a lesson in the true essence of inspiration and leadership. And remember, you know, the life you live are the lessons you teach. Maybe you're surrounded by people who you want to change, but just think about how hard it is just to change you. But you can inspire them and empower them to make the change one step at a time. Lesson number 41: everyone, I mean everyone, could be our teachers. I live now with the expectation every single day that one conversation with somebody of every age and background, career, education level, financial situation, you know, gender, history, IQ— everybody could be a teacher. You know, I remember just really ingraining this, you know, years and years ago. It's very early days learning about brain health. I was at a seminar and I was ready to absorb the knowledge. I was ready to take notes by this acclaimed speaker. But that day, I actually learned some of these invaluable lessons, some of them I shared with you in this episode, from an unlikely source, the person that was cleaning up during the breaks. And as we chatted during one of the breaks, this person was full of joy. Yeah, I was like, wow, you know, it doesn't matter what you're doing. If you bring joy to it and bring presence, you know, and you take pride in your work, that it's not about doing what you love. You could find the love in what you do. Then you could add 5 days to every single week because most people just look forward to the weekends. And as we chatted during the break, he shared stories of his experiences, his observations about the people that he got to see on stage all the time, you know, working in this environment, his philosophy on life. And his words was so much more valuable than that person that everyone was paying to hear speak. I learned more from that conversation than many of the seminars that I ever attended. And so that day I learned that everyone could be our teachers if we are open and willing to learn. Lesson number 42: Don't compare yourself to anyone but your best self. So many times we live in a world of comparison. We looked at social media and, you know, the grass is greener. And maybe the grass is greener where you water it. Maybe the grass is greener because of the filter that everyone's using. Or maybe the grass is greener on social media because there's a lot of artificial turf out there, right? But, you know, if you're green with envy, then it takes away from the joy of who we are. And we live in a world that often compares and compels us to compare our success, And we're comparing our life with somebody who's like, we're comparing our chapter 5 to somebody's chapter 21, you know, or we're comparing ourselves to everybody else's highlight reel of what they choose to put on social media. And I too fell into this trap, often feeling inadequate, overshadowed. Then one day, it was training for another marathon. I had this epiphany where every day I was competing, you know, with others trying to run faster and farther. But the only meaningful competition was really with the person in the mirror, with myself, you know, with the me from the day before, if you will. And from that day, I started to resolve to compare myself only to the best version of myself and not with anyone else. It was very liberating. It was a shift for me, you know, one that allowed me to recognize and celebrate my own potential and my own progress. Lesson number 43, there are no failures. Just failure to learn. You know, I believe that feedback is the breakfast of superheroes. In my journey to improve my brain health, I had my fair share of setbacks. You know, a lot of people would label them big failures. Each felt like a blow, a sign that I was not making progress, that I was off course. But over time, I realized that these were not failures, but opportunities. Opportunities to what? To learn, to get feedback, to grow. And each setback taught me something. About my brain, about my approach, about my current limitations or my knowledge, skills, current set of abilities. And these became stepping stones that led me to my goal. And this shift of, in perspective, you would say, to see failure not as a dead end, but as a detour, a learning opportunity, it's a game changer, right? That where failure is not the opposite of success, it's— It's a stepping stone. Part of success. Lesson number 44: stand guard to the doors of your mind. I can't emphasize this enough. Years ago, when I was healing my brain injury, I realized it's not just about what you're feeding your body, but it's also about what you're feeding your mind and also what you're preventing from getting in. Like a careful gardener, if you will, I learned to weed out a lot of the negativity. Dr. The toxicity, the unnecessary. And much like your diet for your body, you know, I wanted to provide a mind diet, if you will, you know, for my brain. Things that were nourished so this flourishes. I started to stand guard to the doors of my mind, carefully curating the information that I allowed in, to the people I spent time with, because I started adopting their words and their actions and their thoughts, their Their character, their habits. And this included not just the books that I read, but the media I consume, you know, the things that I watch, but also the conversations that I was engaged with, the thoughts that I entertained. And this vigilant, this relentless way to guardianship my mind was a key factor in my journey towards improved brain health and a better life. Lesson number 45. Monitor your self-talk. You know, one of the most powerful, profound shifts I made on my journey was to start paying attention and being acutely aware of my self-talk. The way we talk to ourselves shapes our perception, our actions, our belief in ourselves, our own reality. And I noticed that I often spoke to myself harshly. You know, I was very critical of myself. I started to realize that if I, I, if I wouldn't speak to a friend that way or a loved one that way, why should I speak to myself that way? So I began to monitor and adjust my self-talk, and I made it kinder, you know, more supportive, more empowering. And this shift in self-talk, it had a profound impact on my confidence, on my motivation, on my belief, on my, on my resilience. Remember, your brain is like a supercomputer, and your self-talk is the program, it will run. So monitor your self-talk. If you truly understood how powerful your mind is, you wouldn't think something you didn't want to be true, right? It's not to say you have one negative thought, it ruins your life any more than eating that one donut does. But if you eat that donut every single day, multiple days, you know, multiple times a day, over time, what's going to happen, right? That's what could happen in your mind. Lesson number 46: When you take a stand, you uncover And this is, this is important. I don't know who I'm talking to right now, but when I, when I realized there was a point in my journey where I realized I had to take a stand, you know, because the idea is you stand for something or you get, you know, you fall for anything. I stand for my health. I stand for my purpose. I stand for my vision of the impact I wanna make. You know, it was, it was a daunting decision, but it was completely necessary. And when I did, I discovered strengths I didn't know I had. The courage to leave, you know, an uncomfortable position, the determination to overcome obstacles, the resilience to keep going despite, you know, setbacks, you know, or feedback to the contrary. You know, when you take a stand, you uncover your strengths. And so in what area do you need to stand for yourself? Lesson number 47. Small steps can lead to big changes. I was always an advocate of big dreams. I'm always a big advocate for bold, audacious goals. But I learned that big changes often start with small steps. And when I started my journey to improve my brain fitness, my learning, it began with very small, subtle changes. A new morning routine, a different diet, you know, a small number of minutes of meditation. meditation or a little bit of reading. And these small steps gradually led to big changes in my cognitive ability, in my mental health, and my well-being, and in my life. So what small steps can you take today? Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Lesson number 48: Pain can be a powerful motivator. When I was young, dealing with my TBI, my traumatic brain injury, you know, that left me struggling with learning and processing and memory. That pain became a very powerful, potent motivator for myself. It drove me to find ways to heal my brain, to improve my cognitive abilities, to help others to be able to do the same. And while pain is something that we naturally want to avoid, I just want to remind you that it's also a signpost. We've done podcasts on this, on why we have emotions, the energy of motion. It could be a catalyst for change. You know, what's that emotional motion telling you? Maybe if you feel fear, the emotion, the call to action is you need to prepare, right? And so it's a signpost, this fear or this uncertainty, for change, for growth, for personal transformation. Lesson number 49. Harness the power of curiosity. And we've done episodes on the power of curiosity, but like, if you're not curious and fascinated about things, like, like, where are you? Right? If you're green, you grow. If you're brown, you rot. And I feel like if you wanna stay green, you have to stay curious. You know, I remember during a visit to a school, I noticed that one student, you know, was always, they, they always had a question ready. Every single time I came back, you know, her relentless curiosity reminded me of the crucial role that curiosity plays in learning. You know, and as kids, you're naturally curious, but sometimes, you know, you feel like your cup is full and you feel like you know everything. I just remember curiosity and open mind. It's like, it's like a parachute. A parachute works when it's open. And same thing with your mind. So, so stay curious. It's the engine that fuels your lifelong learning and innovation and creativity. So how can you get more curious about something today? And finally, lesson 50 of my 50 years around the sun: reframe your legacy. And what do I mean by that? You know, I mentioned that I've had a couple of near-death experiences, and I feel like You know, I've also had a number of near-life experiences, many more where I didn't really come alive. I feel like sometimes when we're burnt out, it's not because we're doing too much; it's because we're doing too little of the things that make us come alive. And there was there was a time when I felt burdened by the legacy of you know things that I grew up with, and our generations of of family. You know, when we came to this. My parents came to this country, they didn't speak the language, lived in the back of a laundromat that my mom worked at. And my parents lost their grandparents very early, didn't have any money, didn't have, you know, a network. And everybody has their own situation and story, you know? But when, as over time, I decided to shift my perspective and I started thinking of myself as, yes, I am a descendant of all these generations, but I also wanna be an ancestor for future generations, you know, whether it's for my own kids or other generations, rather than just being limited to being a descendant of the past. And it was a simple shift, but I challenge you to try this on, you know, but it dramatically changed the way I approach my life. It made me realize that the life we live are the lessons we teach, you know, and what are we passing on to the future? Right? This whole idea is like when you teach a child, you also teach their children. So what if you looked at yourself also not just a descendant, you know, of your ancestors, but what if you looked at yourself as an ancestor to future descendants and future generations, yours and others? So everybody, that is 50, and I'm sure I could probably go another 50, and maybe I'll do that in another 50 years if you feel inspired. But what I would love for you to do is take one simple action. You know, I went long on this and remember we put the extended version on, on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe. We have over a million subscribers there, so you don't miss anything there. We put even some of my talks from closed-door events as well. But, you know, I wanna thank you for everybody to celebrating the new upcoming book, Limitless Expanded, with all the new chapters. and all the new research. For your preorder, again, you get 13 days of a quick start program, including 3 brand new modules on AI, on learning types in terms of your brain types and learning agility and so much more. Get it at limitlessbook.com. But I encourage you right now, wherever you're consuming this, take a screenshot of it and tag me in it so I get to see it and share which of these 50 lessons that I shared shared really resonated with you. So that way your fans, your followers, your friends, your family, they get the benefit of learning also. Because remember, you learn to earn, to return, to be able to share with the world. And that's really why we're all here. It's an honor if whether it's been just today or we've been together for decades to be your brain coach. And I look forward so much to the next few decades. I'm your brain coach, Jim Kwik, and I'll see you in our next episode.