Turning 50: Life Lessons for Limitless Living (Part 1)

Welcome back to the Kwik Brain Podcast. In this episode, I am going to share with you 50 lessons that I've learned in my 50 years of being on this planet. Recently celebrated my 50th birthday, and I want to thank you all also for supporting the brand new book. This is Limitless Expanded Edition with a lot of bonus chapters in it. It's completely updated with new stories and case studies of our readers. And Yeah, when you get it, go to limitlessbook.com. And when you get the preorder in, we're also gonna give you our quick start program. It was originally 10 days and now we've added 3 bonus days on how to really maximize your mind utilizing AI, utilizing your brain types. We talk about the cheetah, the owl, the dolphin, and the elephant. If you haven't taken that quiz yet, make sure you go to mybrainanimal.com. Also various ways that you can use your learning agility to become a better reader. All of that is absolutely free with just a pre-order of the book at limitlessbook.com. Now, having gone around the sun 50 times, you know, this is honestly pretty easy because as part of my evening routine, I always write down something I learned that day. So I was going through my journals over the years and I pulled out— my team originally wanted 5, but I wanted to 10x that because I want to be able to super serve all of you and be supportive to all our Brainiacs, you know, I really appreciate you having our backs and really being an army of lifelong learners to help us spread the importance of education, meta-learning, understanding our growth mindset, and so much more to become truly limitless in our learning, our leading, and also our life. And so I'm gonna go through all 50. We might have to break this into 2 episodes for the podcast, but just remember, there's a version of yourself that you haven't met yet. And the goal is that we keep showing up for ourselves every single day until So I'm gonna give you these 50 lessons, and what I'd love for you to do is— not everything's for everybody, but for the things that resonate with you, please just write it down and give us your feedback. Share your favorite on social media. You can tag me in it. I'll repost and gift a copy of Limitless to some of our favorite answers. And just as a thank you for being part of our community to celebrate my birthday and celebrate your involvement in our collaboration doing this together. Awesome. All right, so I'm going to give you 50, and if you've gone through our Kwik Recall program at kwikrecall.com, use any memory tool and technique. You could use basic association to memorize it. I challenge you to use the memory palace or the story method or the location, whatever helps you to be able to retain it. Some of you will be able to do this along with me, and we'll make it fun. So we'll do some brain training, memory training. Remember, there's no such thing as a good or bad memory. There's this trained memory. And an untrained memory. Okay. So again, to celebrate my 50th birthday, we are going to share 50 lessons that I've learned. And certainly there've been a lot more, but these are some of the highlights. All right. Let's start with lesson number 1. Your struggles are your strengths. In my early childhood, I had a traumatic brain injury. As many of you know, this TBI led me to be known as the boy with the broken brain. It was pretty It was tough. You know, with challenge comes change, but when I struggled every single day, I was slow, I had processing issues, teachers would repeat themselves over and over again, I would pretend to understand, but I really didn't understand. I was constantly lagging behind, I was being teased about it. But rather than becoming a disadvantage, this struggle eventually became my strength. My 2 biggest challenges going through my childhood were learning and public speaking. And life has a sense of humor because what do I do? Every single day I public speak on this thing called learning. And so this This deep struggle led to a deep dive, if you will, into brain science, memory improvement, learning strategies. It pushed me to develop methods for myself to harness my mind, to be able to compensate, to befriend it, to fall in love with my brain and make it work for me. And I learned my first crucial lesson that your struggles can become your strengths. It just depends if you learn from it and you allow it to transform yourself. Lesson number 2, labels limit us. As a kid with the broken brain, I was given that label by one of my teachers, and that label became my limit. Every single time I did badly in school, I always say, oh, 'cause I have the broken brain. Every single time I wasn't picked for sports, I would say, oh, 'cause I have the broken brain, nobody wants me, right? And so that's where my constraint was. They made me believe I was less than others. It made me believe I was incapable, and I lived with those limitations, that self-doubt, Until one day I realized that those labels were not my destiny. They were only words, and words only have power if we give up our sovereignty and we allow it to have power over us. And I decided to peel off those labels, to redefine who I was over time, to redraw the borders and boundaries of what's possible in my own identity. And once those labels started to change, The limitations also vanished, and I discovered abilities that I didn't know that I had. I realized that labels limit us only if we allow them to, and we are not what people call us, but what we choose to respond, that we have responsibility for. Lesson 3, I would say, a big lesson that I've learned over my life: self-care is not selfish. And you've heard this before. Throughout my life, I've learned that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anybody or anything else. Years of relentless hard work led me to the brink of burnout. It was affecting my health, my performance. I could have been on 3 continents in 1 week speaking, but I was conditioned to think self-care was selfish until the day that I just completely collapsed from sheer exhaustion. And that's when it hit me that self-care and self-love is not selfish. You know, it's, it's self-esteem. It's respecting your own body, your own mind, your own spirit. Spirit, your own emotions, your own heart. It's the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly. And remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Lesson 4: Progress is much greater than perfection. In my quest to overcome my broken brain, I really wanted— goal was to make it perfect, right? Because I felt like it was broken and it needed to be fixed. But the striving for perfection left me in a constant state of dissatisfaction, that I wasn't enough, that, you know, it was very stressful. Then I met a mentor who told me, Jim, aim for progress, not perfection. And these words changed my life. That's why I said practice makes progress, not perfect, right? Those words, they changed my life. I started appreciating the small improvements. I started celebrating the tiny little steps that I was making. And as I celebrated, No matter how little, I found progress, however small, was infinitely more satisfying than the elusive, ever-receding horizon of perfection. Lesson 5: The life we live are the lessons that we teach. I've spent my whole entire life since 18 years old, 32 years, learning about brain, learning about memory, speed reading, learning strategies. But that wasn't enough. I felt the urge to share and to teach. And as I taught, I realized we are not only the sum of what we learn, but we also the sum of what we share, what we teach. And the act of teaching not only allowed me to empower others, because I think you learn to earn to return by sharing with other people, it allowed me to also help solidify and deepen, deepen my own understanding of what I was teaching. Right? We talk about the explanation effect. When you learn with the intention of explaining, you learn it better, right? And the more that I taught, the more that I learned and the more that I grew. And I, I learned that giving is not just about making a donation. Yes, we donate to Alzheimer's research and building schools around the world. It's not all about making a dollar or giving a dollar. It's about making a difference, you know? So that's why I'm really proud of the work our collective community has done. So every purchase that you make, at kwiklearning.com, part of it goes to helping somebody else learn. So you learn, but you also empower somebody else to learn as well. Lesson 6, this is a big one: with great responsibility comes great power. Now, in my office here, I have a picture of Stan Lee. He was a mentor of mine and, you know, recently celebrated what would have been his 100th birthday. I can't imagine, you know, just going another— for me, another 50 years. But, you know, I remember going to dinner with him and I asked him a question, who's your favorite superhero? And he's, you know, he was like, Iron Man. I said, who's— and he asked me, Jim, who's your favorite superhero? And I said, Spider-Man. And he said, without— in his iconic voice, without a pause, with great power comes great responsibility. And you know this, right? And maybe because of my head injury, I tend to reverse things when I read or when I hear. And I was like, you know, Stan, the opposite is also true. With great responsibility comes great power. And so I just wanna flip that for you. I found in life that the inverse is also true. Again, with great responsibility comes great power. In my early 20s, I remember leading a team and teaching clients that were far more experienced than me. They'd been around the sun many more times than I was. And it was a heavy responsibility, you know, when I had people and payroll and all the things that come with having additional responsibility. In the beginning, I was dwarfed by it, honestly. But as I accepted the responsibility I had the ability to respond. You know, there was this big transformation that occurred over time. It wasn't overnight. And it wasn't about the power to control, but the power to inspire, the power to guide, the power to influence positively, the power to affect change and contribute. The responsibility turned into power to make things better, the power to change lives, including my own. Now, lesson 7, our mindset shapes our reality. From my broken brain days to now, one thing has remained constant, which is my growth mindset. And we've talked a lot about this in Limitless and our podcast and our courses. At first, it was a mindset of limitation, of incapacity. But as my mindset began to change over time, evolve over time— it doesn't happen overnight— it severely changed my reality in a positive way. When I began to believe I could improve, that I could grow, that My potential wasn't fixed like my shoe size, and neither is yours. Regardless of your age, your background, your career, education level, your financial situation, your gender, your history, your IQ, we all could improve. And that challenges become opportunities, that failures become lessons. I learned that the landscape of our life is largely shaped by the architecture of our thoughts. So just, just remember that, that our thoughts are things, but we shouldn't be shrinking what's possible to fit our minds. What if we expanded our minds to fit All that's possible. Lesson 8: Change is the only constant, and you know that, right? You know that. I'm just sensitizing you to it in this conversation. Throughout my life, I've encountered numerous changes like everybody else, from personal tragedies to professional transformations, and every change brought its share of turbulence. It brought its share of discomfort, even pain, but every change also brought Growth. It brought learning, a personal transformation, a personal evolution. And when I learned to embrace change, not be afraid of it, to flow with it, to learn from it, that's when I started to truly live more. And I learned that change is not an enemy, but an ally, and the only constant on our path to personal growth and personal development. Now, here's the thing, that change is constant, But growth is a choice, right? It's a choice that we make every single day. Lesson number 9 is the importance of the power pause. And I know we did a podcast episode about this years ago. In our fast-paced world, right, everything is coming at us— technology and information and data— and we're constantly running, doing, achieving our to-do list that's constantly growing. And I'm there with you. You know, I've been there. I am there until the day I discovered the power of a pause, a moment of quiet amidst a lot of the noise to really connect with the signal. A simple pause gave me space, space to breathe, space to think, space to reflect, space to recenter myself and rejuvenate. You know, we did an episode on the power of white space, you know, having a clear calendar that gives you a pause and scheduling that pause. It brought It brought me clarity. It brought me calm. It brought me focus and concentration. It reminded me that powerful lesson that we are human beings, we're not human doings. And so just remember the power of taking a breath, taking a personal pause. Sometimes you have to disconnect to be able to reconnect. Lesson number 10, your dreams define your direction, and one step in another direction can completely change your destination. Or your, your destiny, if you will. As a child, my dreams were to escape my struggles, right? I wanted to escape, and I escaped in comic books and, and movies, my own internal imagination. As an adult, they became my direction. They guided me. They motivated me. They kept me going in dark, difficult times. It's not an act of folly, but an act of faith, a belief in your own potential and your own possibilities and your own power. And so I would encourage everybody to— just a reminder to dream big, for your dreams define the direction you're gonna take. They are the compass that guides you on the journey of life and adding more joy and fulfillment in your life. Lesson number 11 is this belief that everything is figureoutable. And that term was popularized by Marie Forleo, a friend of ours. One of my favorite mantras is everything is figureoutable. There were countless times, countless, when I felt stuck, where I felt in despair, when I couldn't see a way out. But each time I reminded myself everything is figureoutable. And guess what? It always was. You know, there was a time when I was told that my learning abilities would limit me, right? That I'll never be able to achieve anything, right? That I was put in special classes and I shouldn't go for my dreams. It was always limited to my label, right? To my injury. But it, you know, it was hard to accept, you know? And I had my dark moments, certainly, like everybody else, but I figured out ways to hack my mindset, my brain, to improve, to be able to excel. And today I'm here sharing my journey with you, taking my mess and turning it into my message. And that's the power Of believing that everything is figureoutable. Lesson number 12, vulnerability is a strength. It's not a weakness. Okay, let's get really transparent. For a long time, I hid my struggles. I never told people about my traumatic brain injuries as a child. I had a mask on that everything was fine and everything was perfect, but it is exhausting, right? When you take energy You know, and put it towards the person that you want to project. And you do have also energy towards the person you fear that you are, you know, like it takes an immense amount of vitality and it's exhausting and it's isolating as well. And it was only when I started to, to share my story, my vulnerabilities, my challenges that I found more of my strength. And in opening up, I discovered that I wasn't alone. I found support. I found compassion. And also I found empathy, and I feel like I was a better coach because I know what it feels like to struggle. And so I had a greater level of not only connection, but contribution. My vulnerability connected me with others in ways that perfection never could. And I learned that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a bridge to human connection. And so I look at it more as a strength. Lesson number 13, kindness is a language everyone understands. In my journey, I've had the privilege of meeting people from diverse cultures and walks of life. We've done tours all around the world. We have students in every country on the globe. And despite language barriers and cultural differences, one thing always connected us. And in my belief, it's— one of those things is kindness. I've seen how a small act of kindness can light up a face, that it could change a day. Like, there is It's somebody that you were kind to in the past that still remembers that moment. You know, it's a core memory. And so kindness, I've learned, is a universal language. Kind people are the best kind of people. It's a language of the heart and everyone understands it. And so kindness is also free. So sprinkle it everywhere. Lesson number 14, mindful living over mind-full living. With the world at our fingertips, we are constantly bombarded with information, with demands, with distractions. We often find ourselves living with a mind full of noise, full of data, full of distractions, but not being fully mindful. And a turning point in my life was when I chose to prioritize mindful living over mind-full living. It brought a sense of peace. It brought a sense of presence. It brought a newfound appreciation for being in the now. Mindful living, I've learned, is not about having less, but about being more. Lesson 15: Life is a journey, not a destination. And it's cliché, and like a lot of things that are cliché, there's a truth to it, right? As a self-improvement junkie, I was often so focused on reaching my goals, on improving, on growing. I forgot to enjoy the journey. And one day I looked back and I realized I had been so focused on the destination. And there's this quote, I don't know who to attribute it to. Quote is, the person who loves to walk will go farther than the person who loves the destination. And I had missed out on the journey. So I started to shift my focus. I started celebrating the steps. The struggles, you know, the, the detours that we have, 'cause success is not a straight line, right? I found joy in the process and in the growth and in the journey, that there are no ordinary moments like The Peaceful Warrior talks about. I learned that life is a journey and it's not just about the destination. Lesson number 16, do hard things. Life is easy if you live it the hard way and hard if you live it The easy way, right? If you just do the easy things in life, procrastinate, put things off, binge watch things, then life over time gets very difficult. But if you do the difficult things, you have that difficult conversation, you do get out of your comfort zone, then life gets a lot easier and certainly more enjoyable. These these words life is easy if you live it the hard way, and hard if you live it the easy way came from a mentor of mine. And I've had many mentors over the years, as many of. of you have. It taught me these words that to embrace challenges, to do the hard, difficult things. I remember when I first began public speaking, it was so hard because I was the kid with the broken brain. I didn't want the spotlight. I was terrified. I was petrified. I couldn't breathe starting out. I could have chosen an easier path, but I chose the hard thing. And in doing so, I found new strengths. I found new possibilities and potential. I've learned that by doing the hard things, it's not about punishment, it's about growth. Challenges help us to discover our truest potential. Lesson number 17: It's better well done than well said. It's better to not say it but to show it, not promise it but to, to be able to prove it, right? In a way, talk is cheap, action is priceless. And this lesson was hammered home when I began my journey in brain training. I could talk about techniques and strategies, but it was only when I started apply them and I did the work myself that I saw the transformation. And action speaks volumes, you know, about our commitments, our beliefs, our intentions. And remember, the smallest action is worth more than the grandest intention. So remember, it's better well done than well said. Lesson number 18, there are no problems, only puzzles. I remember in our annual Brainpower Conference, which I love to see many of you at our next one, Quincy Jones, the legendary music producer, was in the audience, and I couldn't help but pull him on stage. And I remember asking him this question. I was like, tell me about your problems. You know, what are the problems that you faced in the past? What are the problems you're facing right now? Everyone knows about your successes. And he looked at me, he's like, Jim, I don't have any problems. I'm like, we all have problems. What are you talking about? He's like, no, I have puzzles. And I'm like, wow. Life is full of problems, or so we think. What if we started to reframe our perspective? What if instead of seeing problems, we start seeing puzzles? A puzzle is what? It's a game. It's a challenge. Yes, it's also an opportunity to grow. It's also an opportunity to improve. And with having this idea that there's a puzzle, then we know that there's a solution that comes with each puzzle. So each time I start facing a problem after I heard that wonderful advice from Quincy, who's a mentor of mine, You know, I chose to see things as puzzles, and in solving these puzzles, I found insights, I found growth, I found satisfaction. And this shift in perspective transformed my approach to challenges. Lesson number 19, compassion begins with understanding. That's empathy, right? In my work, I've encountered many individuals who, like me, have struggled with their minds, right? It would've been easy to judge them by their struggles Or to judge anyone with their struggles, financial struggles or health struggles. But you know, I found through my struggles, it sensitizes you to what it feels like to feel broken. And I found compassion. I learned that compassion isn't just about feeling sorry for someone; it's about understanding their perspective. It's about understanding and feeling their pain. Compassion begins with understanding. There's a great book, *Seven Habits of Highly Effective People*, that says. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Lesson number 20: You have to believe in yourself and in your limitless potential. We talk a lot about, in Limitless Expanded, the power of our mind, our mindset, the set of assumptions and attitudes we have, especially about ourselves. Do you believe it's possible? Do you believe you're capable of it? Do you believe that you deserve it? I spent a large part of my life believing I was limited, right? And I'm sure there are areas where I still struggle with that because I am human like everybody else. But I, you know, in my mind growing up, I was the boy with the broken brain, you know, after all. But as I started to believe in my own potential, everything started to change, right? It's the anecdote I talked about for years that a bird sitting in a tree is never— it's not afraid to be at that height. Uh, it's not, you know, it's not afraid that the branch is gonna break because it puts its trust not in the branch, it puts its trust in its own wings. And until you spread your wings, you have no idea how far and how high that you could fly. And so I would encourage you to take the leap. You may discover wings that you never knew that you had, right? So believe in you. You know, you take that risk, and then what happens, right? You either win or, you know, you become wiser. And that's really the point. Lesson number 21: I don't have to get ready. I stay ready. When I was first starting out as a speaker, I was often scrambling last minute to prepare for my presentations. This was incredibly stressful, especially when I was in my early 20s. You know, people in the room were twice or 3 times older than I was. And, you know, I had a lot of pressure or built-up pressure that I put on myself. And then I learned a valuable lesson. I don't have to get ready because I stay ready. I made it a point to stay up to date with my field, to always be prepared, to practice regularly. It transformed my life. Now I can roll out of bed at 3 o'clock in the morning and do this because I live it. And I was no longer playing catch-up. I started to lead the game in my industry. And I wanted to just remind you that preparation is not about getting ready for opportunities, not just about that. It's about creating those Those opportunities. Lesson number 22, don't judge a situation too quickly. And, you know, we've all heard that story about the person in the village. The father finds a horse and everyone's like, oh, you're so lucky that you acquired this horse. And, you know, and the father says, you know, maybe. And then all of a sudden the horse kicks his child, you know, this young man. Was paralyzed. And everyone in the village was like, oh, it's so sorry that happened. This is— you must be really depressed. And he was like, maybe. And then the government came to get all the able people who could fight in the upcoming battle. And they didn't take his son because he was injured. And people were like, you're so lucky. And he was like, maybe. But the idea from this anecdote is that you don't want to judge a situation too quickly. I remember years ago when I had given a talk and a gentleman approached me and he was very dismissive of what I was teaching. I felt very defensive of being judged, you know, because all of us, you know, want to feel like we're enough. But instead of reacting in that moment, I was like, what can I learn from this? You know, I chose to engage. I chose to seek to understand. And in doing so, I discovered he was a high school principal and he was struggling really bad with limited resources with his students who had these learning difficulties. And his stubbornness was not dismissal, but frustration. And that taught me, it just reminded me not to judge people's situations too quickly, to seek to understand before forming these conclusions that, you know, life would be a lot easier if we didn't talk about people, but we talked to them, right? Life is complex and quick judgments can blind us to the nuances. And also the opportunities for connection and also for growth. Lesson number 23, make yourself proud. Now, I get asked occasionally on interviews and media, you know, who do you want to make proud? You know, why are you doing all of this? And most answers are, yeah, I wanna make my parents proud, my spouse, I see another proud, my kids proud. For me, over time, I realize I do these thought experiments going through like these, the little time travel in my mind. And who do I want to make proud? I want to make that 9-year-old boy that was labeled broken. I want to, I want to make him proud. You know, I could still see myself late at night not feeling like I was enough, being teased for my limitations. I want to act in a way and behave in a way and live in a way that makes that 9-year-old self proud. And also if I was to fast forward till like 40 years from now when I'm 90, you know, knock on wood, that I want to make that 90-year-old self proud as well. And so, you know, it's not— yes, it'd be nice to be validated and appreciated by the people you care about and that you love, your positive peer group. But I think the most important person to make proud is yourself. Lesson number 24, don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from. And I don't know, take this with a grain of salt, but throughout my journey, I've encountered a lot of criticism, like most people. Some of it was constructive, some of it was insightful, but a lot of it was not. It was kind of harsh. And I learned to distinguish in terms of when I filter between the two by asking a simple question. Sometimes, you know, hey, do I want to take advice from this And it's a kind of a little filter system that I use to kind of filter through other people's expectations and their opinions, things that would introduce doubt. You know, I do believe feedback is so very important, and it's important not just to accept everything, every thought and idea and words that come through, you know, your purview. And this has helped me to take criticism more in stride. You know, I get the feedback and I learn from the feedback, the comments on YouTube, YouTube and everything else, I say, what can I learn from this? But if there's anger behind the comments or there's some kind of emotional juice, I ask myself, I get curious, like, what's this person going through? Or maybe if I lived their life, I would feel like the same way, probably. So I want to be able to learn from it without letting it diminish me. It reminded me that not all criticism is valuable. Some of it certainly is. And not all opinions should shape our self-worth. And lesson number 25, no regrets. One of my favorite places to find wisdom is working in nursing homes. I, I've gone there my whole life. I lost my grandmother very early when I was 7 years old to Alzheimer's, so I spent a lot of time at senior centers helping polish off their memories. And while I have the privilege of spending time with individuals who have lived long, colorful lives, and their stories of wisdom and insights, I also hear a handful of regrets. And many of them come in the form where they limited themselves because they were afraid of dating somebody because of what people would think, or they pursued a career because it was expected of them from their parents or somebody else. Many have shared their regrets about not pursuing a passion, not taking a risk, not expressing their love. And these conversations have taught me the value of living, living more fully, more fearlessly. You feel the fear, but you have courage, right? Because there is no courage without fear, right? It wouldn't exist. Living a life that's more authentic to yourself. And so to live so that when you look back, that you have memories and moments and not regrets. And that is the first 25 lessons. And tune in for our next episode where I'll go through the next 25 lessons that I've learned in my 50 years being on this planet. Make sure you be one of our over a million subscribers on YouTube. And what I would love for you to do is, which of these resonated with you the most? Take a screenshot on whatever platform you're consuming this and post it and tag me so I get to see it. And which of these lessons really resonated with you? Could be one or it could be more, but by doing that, you share with your fans, your Your family, your friends, and you get to pay it forward. Remember, you learn to earn to be able to return. I want to thank you so much for watching this episode, and make sure you subscribe so you don't miss the next 25 lessons. Until then, I'll see you in the next episode. Be limitless. Limitless.