When your partner is depressed, show up and say you're there, but don't try to fix them or lose yourself in the process. The speaker distinguishes between depression triggered by events and purposeless existential depression, then argues the real work is filling your own cup first so you don't both sink together.
Chapters
What do you do when your partner's depressed? There's the depression that comes with an event, like the death of someone, and then there's the depression that comes with feeling like you don't have purpose. When your partner is depressed, it's always important to let the people you love know that you are there for them. When you're in a romantic relationship with someone who's depressed, you also have to make sure that you take care of yourself, because whenever someone is dealing with something big, like a major mental health concern, or a major physical concern, or addiction, what happens is that the person who's in a relationship with them can easily abandon their own needs and only focus on the needs of their partner and want to fix them. It's important that you find a way to fill your own cup and to help your partner in the best ways that you can, but not to the detriment of your own emotional and mental well-being. The relationship isn't going to improve if both of you are sucked into this hole. But there is a chance if one person can stay centered and work on themselves and be connected to themselves.
