Now's the Perfect Time to Invest in Real Estate! Exclusive Talk with Jon Shefsky

What's up, you guys? Welcome back to the podcast, the New and Experienced Investor Podcast.

Yeah.

The real estate podcast that brings real estate investors from all walks of life together.

All walks.

Yeah.

Even the set of Yellowstone.

That's right. We have a special guest. Joe's on vacation and you know what that means?

That means there's a new sheriff in town.

That's right. Yes.

We got a new sheriff in town. He is a real estate investor. He is a real estate agent.

I am.

And he's been deputized.

I thought you were gonna say, and he's a Jew.

No.

Okay, good. He's been deputized as well.

Yeah.

Howdy.

His name's John Shefsky. John, thanks for joining me.

Thanks for having me, dude.

This is exciting.

I, I love podding with you, dude.

I know. It seems like you're just freaking podding every day now.

I'm pod— what? That, that almost sounds like an excuse.

Like, what are you doing?

You pod too much.

Yeah. You, you're podding.

I mean, that's what my wife says.

Are you still like working? Are we still doing deals?

This is work.

Okay.

This is the deal.

Yeah.

I'm doing deals. That's why it's exhausting being a real estate professional. Yeah. Because you're like, if you're not in the middle of a deal.

Yeah.

you're getting the next deal.

That's right.

Then when you're in the middle of a deal, you're getting the next deal. Yeah. Then when you're not in any deals, you're not getting the next deal. You're like, well, I still gotta go on a podcast. But honestly, that's a blessing because you can still tell your partner. In my case, my wife, I can be like, babe, this is work.

This is it.

As I walk outta the house in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, I'm like, I'm not going for fun, babe. I have to do this. I have to work. Now you and our exhausting little kids figure out what you're gonna do tonight. Order a pizza. Daddy's gotta go bring home the bacon.

That's it. On a podcast.

Hey, your next client might be out there.

What do you mean might be out there? Your next client is out there. They are out there. We don't know how.

Let's— if you guys, this is live, so go ahead and chat if you guys are looking for your next big deal.

You definitely are looking for your next big deal. What's the pie chart percentage of people that have a full portfolio and they're like, I'm done acquiring? That's a very small segment.

Yeah. And then they start selling off. Those are the people I love.

And that's who I'm talking to. Hey, NAR.

Yeah.

I don't give a shit. I'm looking for sellers.

Yeah.

That's what I told my broker. He's like, you prepared to do— I was like, oh, I'm done with buyers anyways.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm only selling. Yeah.

The next car I get, I'm leasing it and I'm not paying more for extra miles. I'm only working with sellers.

Hey. Yeah.

That's the way to go. No offense if any of my, uh, if any of my buyers are listening. Yeah. No, I love you and I, I will continue to work hard for you. That's right.

Oh man. But yeah, it's like, it, it's funny because these people will acquire their whole lives. And then I think the plan is like, are you going to give it to their kids? But no, it's like, no, we're going to sell these off and start playing with this money right about now.

Isn't it gnarly how many, I mean, how many kids inherit real estate and then go, I'm just going to sell the portfolio. And then you're like, liquid cash. Have you read a, have you seen a meme? Like inflation, like you've got cash flow.

This is papa's life's work right here.

And it is, it is an exciting thing for a family. It is a primal thing to be like, I'm providing something for the next generation.

Yeah.

Like in the old days it was like building a cave that was like a safe fort.

Oh yeah.

And having some farm animals or hunting equipment. Yeah. For agriculture, let's be fair, right?

Yeah, that's fine. Okay. I'll give you that.

But now it's like, oh, you've built a real estate portfolio.

Yeah.

And then your kids sell it.

Yeah.

And you're like, what are you gonna do? All the first—

yeah.

Like all it said in my will was like, hey, maybe keep the apartment complex and treat the people nice.

Yeah. Those are some of my favorite sellers though, because they'll get it and they'll just be like, I honestly, I don't know what it costs. All I know is like, if you gimme this amount of money so I can go to get an RV and go to Hawaii, then I'm good.

I mean, honestly, I do think that is the most sane decision in life anyone could make if, if you are actually able to be happy with that. Right. The only problem is if you get the RV and then you're like, I have, I have a very close friend that like they did, they're like, dude, we're just gonna travel around.

Right.

And they did it for like 2 years. Like, we need, we have to get a house.

Yeah, exactly.

It's insane out there. Like, dude, what is freaking Road Warrior shit? Like, I need, I need a place to call my own.

Like, right.

We forget these primal things because, oh yeah. Like, you know, you get convinced like, yeah, the American dream's dead, man. I'm just gonna live in a van. You're like, oh yeah, yeah, dude.

Yeah.

The, the Yugoslavian dreams.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good.

Come on. Like, you don't wanna live in a van. Well, Well, I mean, and, and, you know, uh, we can tell people your, your other podcast is called Road Dogs. Yeah. Oh, we're going to that. Yeah, we're going to that.

Well, this, I'm gonna lose it.

I started, I'm gonna loop it in. I'm gonna loop it in. So you've been on the road and I was just gonna say, I've toured. We've, we've toured in a van.

Yeah.

We're some of the funnest times ever.

It's the best. We're all road dogs. But isn't it fun though? Because you know, you're gonna go back to a place where you can stretch your feet out.

Exactly. That's my point. When everyone's at the end like, oh, I can't wait for my own bed. It's like, it's gonna be amazing.

So, and you guys, you guys didn't tour in like a crazy, like $5 million, like, no conversion van.

Yeah, we called it the Turtle.

I, I, I toured, you know, in, in, and do you remember the car Saturn? I mean, like, oh, okay. Yeah, you guys, I've done road gigs where you're like sleeping in the back, like in a 69 position with another dude, like just like, yeah. And so it's really fun and free, but you got to go back to something. You got to go home. Even Ozzy Osbourne traveling in that awesome, you know. Oh yeah, you know what I mean? He's still just like, I need a house. Yeah, Sharon. Yeah, Sharon, call John Tomaszewski, we need a house. Yeah, he's not— I'm not his realtor, I have to legally I'm not a realtor, but if I was, he'd say that. Sharon, she seems like she'd be a horrifying client.

Oh yeah.

I sat behind them in a movie theater once at Arclight.

Really?

And I said, wow. My wife and I were like, wow.

Mr. Hollywood.

Are we allowed to curse on this? Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

Um, because I opened with cut. Yeah, I'm like, oh God, like if you open with shit and you can't curse, people are like, hey, try to keep it down. Yeah, you're like, cut, cut, just edit that and start over. Uh, but real estate is so It's so gritty.

Yeah. As I have right now. Right now, especially. So much goddamn gritty real estate.

There's so much I'm getting too old for this, especially right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's—

what are you feeling?

What are you feeling right now?

Well, I'm feeling like people are, uh, they don't know what's going on on the buyer's side. I mean, this is me not even being an agent.

Uh, but you're a real estate professional. You, you're one of my go-to dudes and I never think, is he licensed? Did he do his license thing? I'm just like, Alex knows what's up. Right. You know, what, what do you think? What's going on?

And, and it, well, it's just, it's, I guess, harder to get deals, but yeah, we're, I'm still doing the same thing I was doing and we're still getting deals. So yeah, I'm not feeling it as much. But as you talk to everybody there, you can kind of tell things have slowed down a little bit.

Well, there, there's, there's, there's always like the, the cyclical nature of existence and society and markets.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Yeah.

So you're always sitting there going like, what's everyone complaining about right now? Or telling me I should be— and then you realize like it is gonna affect you whether you hide in a hole with your head in the sand or not.

Mm-hmm.

But it's definitely not gonna affect you the same way as like, Like, I have clients and friends, and if you're watching, you, you might know this. They will send you the memes for all the stuff. You're like, dog, I'm in the streets right now actually doing this. Like, that's just hysterical person who's also just sitting at their computer. It's like making those Simpsons or the Rick and Morty writers. It's like, do you guys actually go out and interact, or do you— are you just brilliant at like, you know, being a filter system with like, here's the byproduct, these amazing like references? But you're like, I don't think you're like interacting with these people and having these experiences. And I say that from experience, 'cause I've known some great writers that I'm like, you don't actually live. You just, like— it goes through your filter. And the same thing for people getting their real estate news. They'll send me this, ohhh! And you're like, yeah, it's crazy, but would you rather have been alive like 200 years ago? Like, there was no air pollution, and the cops weren't beating up Black people! But you're like, uh, everyone was dying, and there was no anesthesia. Like, shut up.

Things are very nice right now.

It's not as nice as if we were boomers, right? That was supposedly easier.

Oh, God. Everyone's always like, boomers!

I'm on Threads. I see what everyone says about boomers every day and the hashtag late stage capitalism.

Yeah.

But like, it still is easier than like 1800s. And I mean, oh yeah.

Yeah.

Most people, like, we're mixed in different races and genders and all this other stuff. You're like, it was not friendly a long time ago. So it's—

No, no. I mean, even just in with the technology, like, I'm able to do deals across the country without like leaving my bed.

Without leaving your bed.

Yeah. I do get up though and put pants on and everything.

You're like a, it's like a scene from WALL-E. Yeah. You're just sitting there like sipping on something.

You're like, Hold on.

Yeah, look at the account, honey. We're doing well. Just sucking off a big Slurpee thing, and then you just like float to the kitchen like, all right, I'm done for the day. Good night. Pretty much. Uh, yeah, you gotta get— I mean, you get sun. Look at this man's tan. Yeah, I got out there, dude. COVID be damned, he's got enough vitamin D. COVID, come at me, bro. Come at me, bro.

Well, it's just been hot, so we went out on the, the beach the other day. We did sit out on the beach We call it a cool me down, dude.

That's—

do you really call it that?

Yeah.

Yeah. A cool me down.

Yeah.

I love that.

Yeah.

We go sit on the beach. Just cool me down, dude.

Babe, babe, can we have a cool me down right now? Or, hey, what are you doing at 3? I need a cool me down.

Yeah, exactly.

It's more like if the sun's out and it hits a certain temperature, we're like, after work, should we do a cool me down? And we have our Tommy Bahama chairs. Oh, we do. We just throw those on our back and walk down to the beach.

Oh, you have the backpack Tommy Bahama chairs?

Oh yeah.

Yeah, dude.

We're prepared.

These people are, they're not going to Austin.

Yeah.

Once you have the strap, then you're like, what am I gonna do this around the river in Austin? No, no.

These are beach folks.

That's right.

Oh, I love that, dude.

Yeah.

Can you believe there's people like that right now that are like, oh, I try to avoid the sun cuz it causes cancer.

It's like, yeah, that's great and all, but like, what are you doing?

You know, they just look like the guy from Prometheus. Yeah. I, I know people in my family, they're like, the sun's dangerous. It's like, I think hiding is dangerous, dog. Like if you get COVID again, you're gonna be like, you turn on the light. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, dude.

We got Joe in the chat.

Alex, Joe's in the chat.

He's telling you to get out of bed.

All right. No, Joe, I get out of bed. He knows that. I come into the office. Yeah, the Joe. Yeah. He's watched. Yeah.

Howdy, Joe.

Yep.

He's judging your performance.

Yeah. As a sheriff.

I'm doing my best. I was born with a tail, but I'm doing my best, Joe. Yeah.

So Joe's on vacation right now. Well deserved.

Okay, Joe, you're on vacation and you're watching your own pod. Joe, get out there. Get your Tommy Bahama backpack.

He's probably missing the office. I know him. He's, he's like probably 3 days in, he's like, all right, this is a cool vacation. Then he's like, I need to start doing deals.

That's what real estate is. Kind of like a game where you're like, I'm kind of addicted to it. Like, it's stressful and tiring, but you're like, there's other deals out there, man. I love that you guys are into deals. You do deals. Uh, you, I've been watching you guys since, uh, I don't know, a few years and just been like, uh, so impressed with what you, what you acquire, what you end up doing with it. And I, I think the, the system that you have for acquisition, Uh, I think Lauren, like being an agent, like in representing these things and listing them out, that's like, it's such a cool, like it's a rhythm.

Yeah.

You guys have.

Yeah, it's fun. And we've really doubled down on it this year cuz before it was just throw stuff at the wall. Now we've like systematized it. So hopefully go through this year and then start next year just fully cranking. Yeah. That's kind of the plan.

Fully cranking, dude.

I'm gonna double down in Q4.

Double down Q. This is like such like corporate, like, like hustle culture talk. We're doubling down in Q4. We plan on cranking like double time cranking, maybe triple time cranking.

Maybe triple time cranking.

Well, we went to the Results Driven 2-day workshop and joined their program, and they're all about corporatizing your business. And I was like, we can't get too corporate.

Yeah. No, we're not corporate people.

We're not corporate people. We got Tommy Bahama backpack chairs. We are not corporate people.

You will find yourself in some sort of weird thing talking to a therapist being like, what am I doing? They'll be like, oh yeah, let's peel away some of these onion layers, dude. Which you have to be careful with. Okay. I love, we're not going to name names, but it rhymes with Floamy Frobbles. And he's great, right? Um, it's, it's just like Jerry C, right? They're all, they're great. These guys are great. But you have to remember, they're all selling books and they're all selling things. So it's just like a gym. Like, a gym's awesome, but you can get caught up in like the dopamine rush from joining gyms and joining programs. Take what you need from it. Go there, pay for the book, read the book. And then all it comes down to is like, are you waking up? And as Jocko said, are you getting after it or whatever? You know what I mean? Like, maybe not at 4:30 AM, right?

Jocko, come on. Come on, Jocko. Come on. He's going to bed at like 5:30.

though. He's— Jocko's like, good night, everyone. No, he, he says on his podcast he does like— he's a natural like 4 or 5 hour sleeper.

Oh no, God.

But he's a Navy SEAL. Those people, dude, they're a different breed.

That's true.

But for the rest of us, like, you have to realize that all of these things that you go to and they say, you got to do this, you got to do that, it's like, cool, dog, that might work. I'm not saying it doesn't work, but I'm also not a robot. Like, it's cool to like take what you need from it, learn about what you need to build your culture for your thing. But like, yeah, Lauren, you're, you're right. You're, you don't need to get too corporate. Borrow some of their brilliance, but like, yeah, be you.

Right. We're still artists.

We're still artists.

We still have to sleep 10 hours.

10 hours. My, my God. Wait till you guys have a couple babies. Oh my God. I'm not trying to, what do you call it? Uh, project that you guys have to, but once you do.

Yeah.

That's, that's tough. That's why I keep putting it off. I'm trying to catch up on sleep first.

Yeah, dude.

Put it off.

I told her, you guys are young too.

I told her I would do everything. I'm not, I'm older than you.

You're older than me?

Yeah.

You don't know how old I am.

Yeah, I'm 41.

You're not older than me.

Oh, okay.

I've got you beat. I win this round.

6 months.

I guess I don't win that 'cause I'm older. Dude, being older is fucking embarrassing sometimes. It's like, it feels good for a bit when you're like, I'm 18 now, I can do what I want, mom and dad. But then when like you're an adult and you're like in a room and you're like hanging out with everyone and they're like, who's the oldest? And it comes out to you all the time, which is me. 'Cause my friends are—

Yeah. You need to get new friends.

Well, I'm immature.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. So it's like when I hang out with other people, like I'm 73, and when I hang out with other dudes that are 73, I'm like, you guys are boring. So I gotta hang out with 40-year-olds, you know? But I'm the oldest 40-year-old.

Yeah.

I'm proud of being 40. I'm 43 actually.

You start golfing is the thing. I would love to golf, dude.

Um, golf is hard. I get really frustrated.

Oh sure.

Yeah.

I do have a friend who's into watches.

Yeah, exactly.

And he tells me about it. He's like, that one went up in value. You can invest in watches. You can get like the right kind of Rolex.

You guys are both wearing watches. Pretty nice.

This is a Japanese Rolex. This is a Seiko and it's freaking awesome. Nice. That's great.

What do you got? Um, Movado.

Movado?

Yeah.

I don't know enough about watches.

I don't know either. Yeah, my buddy was telling me, he's like, yeah, he's one of those guys. He's like, yeah, it's Movado, like panda head because it's black and white.

That's great. Yeah, I like that. It's also like, okay, you also have like a concave, like a concave convex lens on it, or, you know, like top.

It looks pretty. Yeah, I like that.

I like a good watch, but I also, you know, I like to not have to worry about scraping things against it. I know, like people that have really nice stuff, you become the manager of the really nice stuff. And I'm like, I'm a hippie. I don't want to like— now, now I got to be careful with my watch.

And then you're like pissed the rest of the night at dinner.

I never understand dudes that are married that are like obsessed with that stuff. It's like, you already got tail. Yeah, you're not going out unless they're cheating on their wife. But I'm like, you don't— you're not gonna go out and get any more. Yeah, like now you want to have to babysit your freaking watch? And no offense to the beautiful car outside, but dude, like, I, I like to— like, I have a Honda. I like to just be like, I parked it, I'm tailgating this guy. What happens if he stops? He breaks the front of a Honda.

Not a Porsche. Some people's nice cars are their Hondas. You gotta like up your game.

But I guarantee you, even a billionaire, if I bang into his door, it's gonna act different than— Yeah, he's got the— Is that the Philip Pateki? What is that, a Rolex? That's a Rolex.

Yeah.

Wait, are you, are you married yet, bro?

Yeah.

Oh, he's married?

Yep. Okay.

I'm sorry.

He's a baby.

Oh yeah. Well, this brings up my next topic. You always, you have to continue the dance with your partner. You've gotta keep attracting your wife. Yep. That's why every day I wear Rolex. You got a practical husband, baby! You want some morning sex with a guy with a Seiko?

That's how you, you know, get your clients.

With my clients?

Yeah!

You don't want one of these realtors making $700 grand a week out there with a nice watch. You want a regular American that shops at Costco. You know, he asks his parents if he can borrow a few miles for an airplane ticket. That's what you want as a realtor. That's my pitch.

Well, most people don't know watches, and if I looked at that, I would be like, oh, that's a nice watch.

A Seiko is a nice watch.

No, it is.

From my watch bro He told me, he's like, yeah dude, like the reason some of these have values isn't because it's a better watch. In fact, there's certain things about the way like the Seiko is balanced, he said, it could be better than a Rolex that has a more classic way that it's like tuned. I don't understand it, by the way, so don't take any—

This isn't craftsmanship.

But yeah, so, so like a good Seiko is a good watch.

Japanese, yeah, Japanese engineering. Uh-huh.

I don't know much about anything.

Yeah.

And I know that like Japanese, like they buy guitars or they make guitars.

Yeah.

That are like modeled after, like benchmarked after an awesome guitar.

Oh yeah.

For like a tenth of the price.

Right.

Because I have another buddy who plays guitar and he's like, dude, I bought this thing for $300. And like if you got the American version of it, it's like $3,000.

Yeah. Like Fender. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I don't even know all the brands, you know, Les Paul or whatever else, or you know, it doesn't even matter. But my boring point being, focus. Yes. She's just focusing on the watch. It's all like, it's like a Mac.

Joe's telling me to raise the camera up, but it's Joe, the top is covered because the TV is bigger, so it's covering more of the plant.

Joe's all pissed. He's like, you guys look like you're both manspaining. I can see John's knuckle. Welcome to the real estate show.

Yeah, we'll have to readjust it, but we'll get there.

Sorry, Joe.

That's the name of this episode. Sorry, Joe. We tried. Sorry, Joe.

That's the name of the episode every time Joe is gone.

Yeah, dude. Thanks for letting me be here, Joe. I promise I'll take good care of the seat. Yeah, keep it warm. I'm keeping it warm, bro.

Stephanie says this conversation is so fast, it feels like I'm watching, watching a NASCAR race from a sidecar.

There you go.

I'm gonna tell Stephanie I take this as a compliment.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, that's talking. They're talking about watches, keeping time.

Watches, talking about deals. Um, so I've been seeing you with these like drone shot videos, like content. You're everywhere now. You're in these million dollar houses. When did that happen?

Well, Barbara, I, uh, when did that hap— uh, what, getting video stuff done? I mean, yeah, I have a great content dude that just does my listing videos. And then so I like to just call him and be like, hey, let's go film this, let's go film that, and just go film. Because honestly, I just like filming stuff.

Yeah, like you're one of these Hollywood type.

I already said I was Jewish at the opening of the video, of the podcast. No, like, I, I honestly like like, uh, you, uh, you know how cops, uh, like in movies, they'll be like, I didn't get this job for the paperwork.

Like, right.

That's how I feel about real estate.

Yeah.

Like, I'm not a math dude. I know simple math. I mean, I, I can do it, but I'm like, I don't like spreadsheets.

Yeah.

I don't like, like, oh, you want me to run a report? Like, dear God, AI, can you hurry up and just get, let me just talk to my phone, run a bunch of reports. Don't ask me any more questions. Just get it done. Like, I don't like that stuff. I like negotiating, building relationships. I like when you, you're on the phone with another agent, you're like, what's your client gotta do?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, cool. Well, my client needs this. Like, I like that interaction. I like the dance. I like real estate video stuff where you're like, hey, check this house out.

I know.

So you've gotta fill your time up with that. Otherwise, if it's just me being like miserable, I'm like, you know?

Yeah.

That's no fun, right?

Yeah. Is it? No, it's not.

It's not.

You're right.

I mean, we were talking about Navy SEALs earlier.

Yeah.

Like they have this like high tolerance for pain, right? My tolerance for pain's like, I can't even, can we dig Can we hit a hammer through this floor? It's so low.

Yeah.

I'm just like an ADD, like weird kid that's like, this hurts. Yeah. I'm so bored. Yeah. And I could do it for a couple weeks, but I cannot do 20 years of this. You know, I hear you. And so filming's fun.

And, um, so with those videos, is it that people will see that you are an expert in an area and reach out to you and go for your services?

Are you saying like my intention behind making the videos?

Yeah.

Uh, Honestly, I don't understand a lot of this stuff, like, as far as, like, business goes. I just take a pointer when someone like you goes like, hey, John, make more videos like that.

Yeah.

That's, that's what I understand. Like, I honestly am like, uh, like a person that doesn't speak a lot of the language of the world. And so I'll just be like, what do these people want?

Right.

'Cause like, as my little, like, uh, nerdy self, uh, when I was a little kid, I was just, you, you just assume from my weird perspective that like people understand like, oh, if you have good intentions, like everything just works out. And it's like, No, you have to be top of mind. And then it took me decades to understand, like, what does that even mean? Right.

You know?

Like, I used to do stand-up all the time, and I didn't realize, like, you could be the best, like, artist in your basement writing something, being the best screenwriter, and guess what? Some, uh, some chick or dude that's, uh, or now some anything, you know, can be writing a screenplay that's a tenth as good as yours, but they were out hanging out, having a beer, getting into trouble with people, and that's the screenplay that's gonna get made into a movie, and you're just gonna be the, uh, what's the Confederacy? So you have Dunces, dude, like, you know, that dies and then your mom finds your manuscript and it becomes a book.

Yeah.

What good is that? You're dead. You didn't even get to go out for sushi.

Right.

You didn't even get a paycheck.

Yeah.

Not about the Roman, like, joy of being, like, famous. I'm talking about the practicality of like, hey, I traded my art and my time for a little cash, you know?

Yeah.

So you have to just, like, do these things that are top of mind. So I, you know, from my broker James or my friend Austin or anybody that I know and trust and love that's like, hey, you should make one of those videos. I just go like, Yes, sir. Thank you. Or I go, thank you, God, for getting this person to fucking tell me to do this. 'Cause otherwise I would just be floating around like, what do they want from me? The bill's coming and no one called me for the thing. It's like, well, they didn't know, John. I'd be like, who didn't know? Exactly. You know? So yeah, just making 'em is just fun. And then yeah, you put it out there and then you see what happens. And none of my videos get like a ton of like real estate hits. Like I, but still the small amount of 'em is still working.

Yeah, no, exactly.

A microculture that's happy is—

Right.

Is just as good as a giant one.

Yeah. And you're building a portfolio of videos. So when people do, Do discover you, then they go, "Oh, let me look him up." Oh, okay. He's got all this stuff.

That's a great point too. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a resume.

Watch one of these videos.

Let's watch one of these videos. Go ahead and pull it up. The most embarrassing one, would you?

This is like. Is this called real estate therapy? Welcome to real estate therapy. And if you're watching this and you start a podcast called Real Estate Therapy, call us first. Hashtag it's ours.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh God. Fix this.

Oh, that's a great.

No, it's just a great jacket, by the way.

Okay.

I do love that jacket.

That jacket's freaking rad. It's like green dyed, like olive green leather.

Yeah.

Tell me that's not.

Oh yeah.

This.

House was cool.

Oh, those are awesome houses. Those are in Brasada. That's up in the hills in like San Dimas.

You getting anything?

I was gonna say you could let me do like a mystery opening in the formal dining room. Is that you've got this? Hi, I'm John. Just really nice little. Yeah, thanks for watching. If you'd like to know more about Brasada Estates or any real estate in SoCal, all of my contact information is located below.

Oh my gosh.

What's awesome about this outdoor living space is that you can grill your food here and then serve it up to your guests that are sitting in the pool. Wow, they're sitting in the pool, dude. You could be pissing while eating a cheeseburger. Oversized pergola paired with this nice gas fire pit and all the seating. Your guests are going to love it here. It's like just like big angles in here. It's starting to feel like, like a One of my favorite things in the formal dining room is that you've got this cabinetry that doesn't just store your glassware; it celebrates it. They're like pre-made mansions. Thanks for watching. If you'd like to know more about Brasada Estatesport, yeah, yeah, beautiful.

Look at that. That's like a more professional version of you. That's like Food Network, John.

So funny. Food Network, John. HGTV was right next to you. That'd be so fun.

Yeah, you'd be perfect at that.

Well, nice. Yeah, if you're watching this and you're from HGTV, you know, call my agent. His number's the same as mine. Yes, exactly. Let me just pick up the phone. Oh, you're from HGTV? Let me hand the phone to the agent. Hello, this is the real guy representing John.

That's cool.

You know, the thing about real estate is you got to have multiple personalities to represent yourself to the TV people. Yeah, exactly. I tell my wife, this is John's agent now.

This—

let's do a deal.

We were just in a meeting, that's why I'm here at his house.

Oh man. Um, but yeah, yeah, that stuff's fun.

Okay. So how'd you pick that house?

Well, so I, I live in that area, so I've been like riding. I actually, during the pandy, they were building that place up.

Oh, nice.

And it's in the hills, like by my house. Yeah. And I ride my bike all the time. Right. So I'm like riding my bike up there. I actually got kicked out by the security guy who's still the security guy, like 4 years later, by the way. But I, I was like up there and I don't have any ID on me again.

Yeah.

I'm a hippie. Yeah.

Like I'm just forced into this like, well, you had to show your ID for the security guy, dude.

He's like, well, because you're back there in these hills where they're building mansions, right? And it was just— it was— they were just grading the land. There was no— nothing. No found— no foundations were poured, nothing. And I was just back there riding my bike. And, uh, it's kind of a ride like far back into the— into the hills there. Uh, it's right behind a great restaurant called Pinnacle Peak, by the way. So if you're in the San Dimas area, if you're watching this, I highly recommend this restaurant. It's freaking rad. It's It's like one of those places outta the middle of nowhere. It looks like a honky-tonk inside. I guess it is a honky-tonk. Uh, you walk in, you'll frequently be hearing Randy Travis when you walk in.

Oh yeah.

Dude, the walls are covered in great, like Native American-like photos and old cowboy John Wayne stuff. And then like a bunch of ties because if you wear a tie to the restaurant, ah, it gets cut off. It gets cut off. Yeah. Wyatt is one of the guys there and he'll like cut your tie off. So for my birthday, I think it was this year, I finally, we always forget.

Yeah.

Like we go on a whim.

Yeah.

You know, my wife and I aren't like, you know, young drunk, like people wandering around anymore. We have kids, so we're just like, let's get the kids and go. So we're never planning, but for my birthday, we all went to the thrift store, bought some ties.

Nice.

And like, so our ties are up there. So great. They do barbecue. They got a really good barbecue sauce and a great cheeseburger, by the way, which I love a good cheeseburger.

Love a good cheeseburger.

They overcooked mine last time. And our waitress, Sunflower, all the waitresses have great like nicknames. Sunflower freaking remade it. Did they just shut the door on us? You don't wanna hear this story, bro? He's the one who does all the deals. So he's like, I'm about to make $120K. Just, I don't care.

Get my own cheeseburger.

He's like, I get my cheeseburgers at the Marriott Business Club. class. They bring it to my hotel room when I'm on vacation in Tahiti. Uh, so you go there, dude, the cheeseburger— she gave me one that was too overdone. She saw me, I didn't even ask her, she just like came over and she's like, honey, you ordered extra rare, didn't you? I was like, yeah. She's like, let me bring that back. I was like, it's cool, no, no worries. She's like, no, we're getting it right, and brought me back one.

Oh, she made you take it back because you didn't want to.

Yeah, dude, yeah, that's very forceful. Yeah, I told you there's John Wayne pictures up there. They grab me by the back of my neck. No, we're getting you a new burger. There They're all, hey, Wyatt, it's you here. And then they grabbed me by the back of my neck and I was like, they're like, he's complaining that the burgers aren't good. No, no, it was great. That place is freaking awesome. So anyways, behind that place is, you know, a billion dollars in real estate up into the hills. So I got kicked out of there, uh, by the security. Uh, I'm not the kind of guy to like tell security to piss off. I'm just like, all right.

Yeah. Cool.

Like, I'm just out here like scoping. I'm sorry, I'm not in a Mercedes car. I'm freaking just riding my bike though. How do you think you stay healthy as a realtor?

Huh? He thought you were a vagrant. Yeah. I thought I was a vagrant.

And most people do.

Yeah.

I mean, exactly. You know, I, I am a vagrant. You know what I mean? I, I have to mention I had a joint hanging outta my mouth. I had a Willie Nelson on a boombox. I was riding my bike like this and I was drunk and didn't have anything on below the waist. Uh, no, I, I was just riding my bike in regular cycling gear. But, you know, yeah, he kicked me out. Uh, but they finished it and I was like, I'm gonna go check this puppy out. You know, you check the MLS every day to see what's going on for like inventory around you. Yeah. So as soon as that pops up under new builds, I was like, Oh dude, $4 million new builds. Ding. Like, that's where you wanna film. Yeah. And, and honestly, I'm just a fancy boy, dude. I just wanna go inside these like fancy houses.

I know.

It feels good. It's like being on a movie set.

Okay. And security guard was gone cuz you could have flashed that guy there.

The guy that lives over Tacoma.

Uh, you flashed your—

I don't remember your name, but I still fucking remember your face.

Uh, so you flashed your license. You're like, I'm a real—

yeah. You go back in your car and you're like, you just come to the door. You don't even take your sunglasses off. You just go like this.

this.

And then they, they say, right this way, sir. And then you just let your finger go up and don't even look. And then you go, you go through the gates. The gates are pretty funny, dude. No offense if, if you did, uh, decide to design this. Uh, they did have like, it's a lot of filigree and like it has that like French, like royalty thing where you're like, oh, okay, you're rich. Well, eh, great. You got filigree everywhere.

Right.

You spend $4 million, you want filigree.

You want filigree. Yeah. That's what they say in real estate. You spend 4 mil, you want some, some fill. Fill. Um, it's better than like that postmodern, like super rich stuff you see off Melrose where it looks like, yeah, yeah. Like every house is like a different Holocaust museum. You're like, It's just concrete squares, huh?

Scary.

With little windows. Okay. All right. Yeah.

Same price though.

All right. Joe.

Oh yeah, for sure.

Joe is asking why you're not working for him.

Oh, good question.

Wow.

I've never been offered a job on the air. Joe, do you work at HGTV? I appreciate that, Joe. We'll come back to that. My broker's watching and then they get in a fistfight.

Fight over me, boys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Used to be a couple women. Nothing turns me on than having a broker fight over me. Thank you, Joe. I would love to work for you. I'm working for you right now, dog. Get people on this podcast watching this podcast. But yeah, dude. But yeah, it's a great spot. They did great. So the family that it's kind of like the Bluths from Arrested Development. They they they usually did. I think. um, like smaller tract homes.

Mm-hmm.

And they built those for other communities. And then this was their first like luxury home build.

Nice.

And they're beautiful. They're well done. They're well thought out. Uh, they allow you to customize a bunch. The houses come with, um, they're coming like with like Wolf and Sub-Zero, which is like decent upper-end stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, aside from having an actual custom-made fridge by a weird like commissary, like food company.

Yeah.

It's pretty much the top of the line.

Yeah.

Like good Wolf stuff.

stuff.

That's good.

Um, wow. Yeah. So, so they did a great job with the houses. They had 4 models and they've had, uh, they got rid of a bunch of inventory. Then when rates shot up, they've still got some left up there.

Oh yeah.

And they're slowly kind of ticking away. There's probably, probably like 30 left, but I could be wrong. But I check it all the time cuz they're great houses. Yeah.

Dang.

Yeah. I mean, I, I've showed a couple like clients like the houses, but like it's tough to, let's say you have a $4 million house. Like, if you're someone that's buying a $700,000, $800,000, $900,000 house, you've seen what happens when you go like, oh my God, like with the interest rates, like my mortgage, my monthly payment's crazy. Imagine you're buying a $4 million house.

Yeah.

So the people that are buying them right now up there, there's a few that are like, oh, I don't care, it's all good. There's a lot of multi-generational people getting 'em together, like moms, dads, and their kids. There's a few really wealthy people that like bought them cash for their kids.

Wow, nice.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Is that gnarly? Like your, your house for your kids in your 20s is a, is like a $4 million house.

Yeah.

But it's in a safe neighborhood, kids.

It'll be great.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um, the HOA I think is pretty reasonable for how big the area is. I think it's, uh, $750 or something like that for a nice house in the hills there.

Okay.

And, uh, you know, you're close to everything. You can, you can work in LA, right? And then, you know, you're right there in San Dimas. You can work in Orange County right there in San Dimas. Like we're just in that great spot of the 57 and the 210. So, right. Yeah, it's a great community. Brasada. And if you're watching this, don't you dare go buying one directly from them without me.

Yeah, that's right.

You son of a bitch.

I told you not to like it then.

Yeah, I, I didn't bring guns to the podcast, but I'll find you and fucking kill you. All right.

Yeah.

That'd be funny if I brought a, like a revolver.

Yeah.

We're like, dude, we don't allow guns here.

How funny would that be, dude? Just like, I'll be like, listen, everyone's like, whoa, John. Like, I'm in Orange County. We're cool, right? That's right. That's what I love about Orange County, dude.

Yeah.

You could get wild, dude.

Oh yeah. You can get buck wild.

Fucking get buck wild.

We're all red.

You guys wanna react?

You're all red?

Yeah.

'Cause you're like blushing? You're too sunburned? We're all red 'cause we're about to vote for a fucking felon.

Okay.

So we're embarrassed.

You guys wanna react to some, uh, videos?

Yeah.

Yeah. Throw 'em up there. Let's see what you got.

Better and better.

Let's see what you got.

Okay. The first one. Hold on. Let me—

What's this segment called? Making Enemies? Is it other realtor videos?

I think we accomplished that already.

Yeah. I'm just kidding. Later.

What'd you say?

Yeah, she's like, I think we accomplished that.

Oh, if you watched any of this and you're an enemy now, then you just ain't real AF. That's cool. We were never cool then. In that case, real motherfuckers can handle some riffing.

All right, first video is on California housing prices because they're crazy here in California, and I want to show you how much home prices have gone up here over the last several decades. If you take a look at this house behind me, it's currently on the market for $700,000. $175,000. And I'm curious if you guys can guess what this house sold for 40 years ago, back in 1984. Because when I looked at this listing on Zillow—

$5,000.

Oh, he said 40 years ago.

The appreciation they received was unbelievable. I don't think it's going to be replicated. What city is it in? It can't be replicated into the future because they bought that house for $80,000 back in 1984. In this zip code here in Carson, south of LA.

What did he buy for? $225,000? Oh, Carson? $80,000? Oh, I was off by $120 grand.

here, and the people here, they simply don't make the type of money where they're able to afford that. And so what I'm curious about is the fact that what's California's housing market going to look like the next 40 years? Because I don't think this appreciation can continue. People simply can't afford it. And I'm curious what you guys think.

He's curious, AKA he's trying to fill out the comments. Everything is just trying to get the algorithm to—

yeah, it's like, what do you think?

There's no authenticity behind any of the questions.

Well, you have to say the craziest stuff and be like, what do you think though?

I know.

That's all it is.

I know. I, I have a guy that does my real estate content now.

Yeah.

Because I was so annoyed. Like, I was like, this doesn't feel like I'm being real.

And, and, and I just started— They don't want the real you.

It's so gross. So my buddy who does the content, genius dude, but he's like, hey, can I, can you make me a video about this? And I'll be like, what? Like, that's, I'm an adult and I'm busy. And like, I'm actually on the phone with a client right now. Yeah. Like, I'm looking at this text and I'm like, I can't focus. I'm talk— I'm talking, I'm talking to my client. And then I'll call him back. I'll be like, dude, I'm like doing real real estate.

Yeah.

And you want me to fucking do like this? Like, like, it used to be just like weird people on TikTok, and now you're like, you want this for Instagram? He's like, yeah. So I do it. I was like, oh, that video got more hits than any other hit, right?

Yeah, those people know.

It's like we live in idiocracy.

You gotta listen to him.

If you're watching this, you have to know, like, even that asshole on here who might be a nice guy— a lot of realtors are actually really nice people. We get such a bad rap, dude, like all the time. Might be a great dude, but like all he's doing is trying to get you to comment So that the algorithm recognizes it's like he doesn't really care about your question. He doesn't really care about the price of the house. He doesn't need to make a full a forty-year prediction.

All the all the comments are gonna be like that's why I left California. I would never move to California.

I would oh where'd you go? I went to to Nashville where it's a lot more expensive and crowded, and now they hate me because I'm here. Oh yeah, how are the beaches there, bitch? That's the funniest thing. My buddy went to Austin. He's like the weather. Is awful. I was like, yeah, bitch, like I told you, we pay a premium here. Austin's great in the spring though.

Oh my God, it's really nice.

The food. Yeah, I almost wore my fucking Franklin Barbecue shirt, but it's getting small on me because I keep eating fucking Franklin Barbecue. But dude, you don't wear a mustard yellow shirt that's too tight on a podcast. My dad had taught me one thing, that was it.

No, it's all black was the way to go.

All black, right? I had literally had 2 choices.

Everything else was on a Chad wants to know what was the deal with that guy's hoodie and no shirt?

Is that what he had on? Oh wow. I didn't even notice that. Yeah.

Oh, did I pull it back up?

Yeah.

He had a hoodie on, no shirt.

I mean, that tells you everything.

Sure. Pull your shirt back up. He just, just a hairy chest.

That tells you everything.

I did one video for my sauna and my wife was like, babe, don't, don't do that. That's not professional. Yeah. Oh my God, dude. A V-neck zipper.

Yeah.

He's probably like getting head in his car and he's like, hey baby, I gotta just do this video real quick.

And let me get outta here. He's probably not even wearing pants.

Walking around with this dick all just like flopping in the neighborhood. It's Carson, you know what I mean? If you're listening and you're from Carson, like, God bless you. Yeah, uh, it's Carson though.

My first deal, my first wholesale deal was in Carson.

Yeah, dude, of course.

Pocket listing.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's where, dude, where people make the worst decisions is where you get the best deals. That's right.

Right?

Yeah. Where do you do most of your deals? San Bernardino. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one with the El Pollo Loco's not good? Yeah. You know a neighborhood is bad when you're like, even the El Pollo Locos suck. Like, they've just given up.

Oh my God. But to answer his question, where do you think these house prices are gonna go? I, I think it's, it's going straight up.

I mean, dude, I, I think I'm not a good guy to answer that because I'm such a, like a non-absolutist, like from a philosophical, like just naturally like communist.

Just go ahead and say it. Communist.

Yeah.

Whoa, bro. I'm, I might be a tard, but I'm still an American tard.

Yeah.

That's okay. Okay. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not late-stage capitalism. I just think gay people should be able to get married. I mean, is that so crazy? I don't know.

You know, I mean, would a communist wear a cowboy hat?

No, I don't think so. Maybe in Russia.

That's a great point. That's right. That's right. Anyways, but this is just a costume. I don't wear this hat that often. I wear it when I garden. My, my little, my 5-year-old son, once when I was wearing it outside, he's like, Daddy, are you a cowboy? I was like, I'm a frigging realtor. Yeah. Jewish realtor. But you know, I listen to a little Townes Van Zandt every now and then. like every fucking day. Anyways, so I'm just not an absolutist. So I think, again, just like with like what's the actual core of like what these people are getting at on the internet, everyone, not just like the fractured media of us all making videos and repeating 'em, but like the mainstream media, all of it, they're just trying to get our eyes on things. So if you're like talking to a wise man or a wise old woman, you know, they're gonna tell you like, no one knows the future beyond this moment. Living in the moment's the only thing.

Right.

So when they say what's gonna happen to housing prices, It's like, oh, I don't know what's gonna happen. Like, yeah, look at the predictions on the political system.

Mm-hmm.

They're, the people are saying that the FBI's gonna be dismantled in 5 years if the Republicans are in power. And then they're saying if the Democrats are in power, China's gonna own this and we're not gonna be able to do that. Like, none, none of it, you don't know. Like, yeah. And, and the direction that that flowchart goes, I'm sorry, this, if this is not a good answer for real estate investing.

You're good.

Yeah. Keep going. But the way that, right?

I'm like, yeah.

They're like, we had John on the show and we lost 3 deals. No, but like, If you look at the flowchart of possibilities, it's like a choose your own adventure book. So if we don't have another pandemic, if we don't get tied up in a frigging war with China over fucking Taiwan, which let's be honest, Taiwan is pretty badass, but you're not, I don't wanna fight over nothing.

You know what I mean?

I'm like, Taiwan's badass. Can we just still, you mind if we still hook up? But like, you guys can run it if you want. 'Cause Taiwan, dude, they make giant bikes. They got a bunch of good stuff they do there. They're smart and in charge. But like also you're like, I don't wanna battle with your big pimp. He crazy. You know what I mean? And some Americans are like, We should fight with them. I'm like, no, no, we shouldn't, dude. We need to work together.

You're right.

That's right. So, you know, if we do go, go to war with them over that stuff, or even just having what we're having now, like this Cold War, this proxy weird Cold War thing that's happening right now, it's like, how will that affect imports and exports, people's jobs? And then, dude, like AI, it's like VR. You remember when VR first started and people were like, it's failed?

Yeah.

And then now they're still saying it's failed. And I'm like, you're watching it under a microscope in slow motion. Right. You're— it's like watching a graph about the economy or the housing market. Like, oh, it dips sometimes. Sometimes it seems like a mountain, but when you, when you pull back, you're like, oh, that mountain, that went down really far, but it's still going like this. Right. So AI's, uh, you know, whether it's in 3 years or 20 years, is going to, in the words of South Park, take our jobs. Yeah, for sure. Last time I think I was on the show with you and Joe, it was like we were talking about just like buyer's agents going bye-bye.

Yep.

Of course, like, I don't think buyer's agents are going bye-bye. I think it's just gonna be like the, the new green job in real estate is like, oh yeah, you're gonna get no pay for really hard work. You're a buyer's agent, you're brand new, you'll earn your way into listing. Right. And I think AI, it, it's, it's going to like just disrupt in such a crazy way that like we haven't seen which jobs will be around and which won't be around, which was why I'm Yang Gang 2024. Is Andrew Yang, is he running?

Oh God.

Is he running?

I don't know.

If he, in the perfect world, we'd have Andrew. He'd be a good president, dude. He wants to do UBI for AI. He knows what's up. Anyways, I'm just not, I'm one of those, what do they call it when you're so anti-racist that you're obsessed? I'm like, I'm all about Asian people, dude.

Yeah.

Andrew Yang and Ronny Chieng. Yeah. That's your guy.

That's your ticket.

So, so I, I think, you know, trying to predict where real estate's gonna be in 40 years, I mean, we could have a freaking crazy-ass one-world government where nobody gets to own any property. We could have—

Hmm.

You're reading the same sites I'm reading then.

I don't read, dude. I watch Pixar films and that's it. Dude, everything is way too scary. Everybody's like, you want to see Mad Max? Like, I think I'm watching it right now. No, it's called the news. Yeah, it's called the news. Yeah, I don't watch the news. Are you kidding me? You know you have the app on your iPhone that comes installed? Oh yeah, I was like, I immediately was like on YouTube like, how to uninstall this bullshit. Like, talk about 1984, dude. Uh, CNN, Fox, the whole thing, dude. Just get it all out of here. There's a John Prine song. If you're listening to this, you need to know this song. Uh, he goes, move out to the country, eat a lot of peaches, throw away your TV. Like, throw away your TV or throw, throw out your paper or whatever it is. Like, you don't, that you don't need to be informed by people that are trying to get you to click things.

Right.

They're not trying to tell, tell us stuff. So 40 years from now, where's the housing market gonna be? I put my faith in you should have real estate if you can get it.

Yeah.

And if you can't get it like, um, on your own, which is a ton of young people nowadays, dude, like a ton of my friends in the art world, they're like, I work hard. Like, I have a friend who's a director of cinematography. Him and his husband cannot afford to buy a house. He's got a fucking— what do you call it— an Oscar. Yeah, Oscar that has to sit in a fucking apartment in Glendale. And I'm like, dude, he's won an Oscar. Like, yeah, how do you prove yourself to an industry and get to— and then their credit's good. His husband's a freaking— what is he, a physician's assistant? Okay, okay, so he's not a doctor, right? But even as a Jew, we have to make someone feel bad that they're not a doctor. Yeah, he's working his butt off. They both make great money. They're smart dudes. They can't buy a house. How do I know this? You're just driving them around. But I love it. They're friends. You know, I don't go out looking for buyers, but like these are friends that are like, hey, you know, find me the house. Are you a buy guy? You know when a gay couple comes up to me, they go, are you a buy guy? I just say yes. I'm a people pleaser. No, I, I, these are real people that can't afford a house, but I'm like, dog, figure it out.

Yeah, team up with someone. Yeah, yeah.

Like do it now because this is a high stakes poker game that you can choose to sit out of. You can choose to be like, well, I just— I don't want to— I don't want to buy property with someone. It's too much a hassle. It's like, okay, dude, but you're getting older, and it's just like everything else in life, like, you're gonna wish you just kind of figured this out like you could right now.

Yeah.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying I agree with the system. Any of these hashtags on Reddit, right? My favorite, late-stage capitalism. You know, people are like, dude, the ice caps are melting, we're all gonna die. I told you that those guys were wrong that own the factories. They're like, Are you voting for that? Are you excited for us all to die so you can be right?

Yeah.

I'm not saying it from that perspective. I'm saying from a pragmatic, like, hey, this whole thing is weird. It's really expensive to buy a house, but you should still try to buy one. 'Cause yeah, you're gonna be much more bummed if you—

oh yeah.

Don't get one.

Well, you're gonna look back and you're gonna see the, the, the Zillow thing and you'll be like, oh, 3 years ago it was this price. Now it's here.

They could invest out of state. Where prices are more affordable. And I mean, you know, have an investment property, maybe not necessarily their primary.

I think you're right. And, but I think for those people, I think it's important for people like us or people that specialize in helping like syndicate and whatnot, or just gather investors, is to communicate to them that, that like, hey, it's risky cuz it's investing, but like, hey, this is a good shot for your money versus like, I know a dude, he works in, in film as well. Uh, pretty successful, has half a million dollars and has been telling me like peddling conspiracy theories to me for about like 8 years about how the market's gonna crash.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm like, you're half a million dollars. Half a million dollars, um, is probably like really in today's value is like a lot less than what you're like. I mean, if you just look at the price of houses, like 8 years ago, you could have bought something dope.

Right.

That you would've thought was overpriced. And now it's like that money's just still sitting in the bank and you're like, I don't know. What would've been the worst case scenario? He bought something, then the market crashed and then he felt like he overpaid and then—

He's gotta ride it out.

It would come back up anyways. So it's like, where's the biggest risk? Not buying real estate? I sound like such a shill right now.

No.

I think you're a fool if you don't buy real estate.

Yeah. I mean, but as long as he's—

still have employment and income.

Yeah.

If, I mean, if the price of your house drops, if you can still make the payment, like you said, it's gonna go back up. That's a temporary thing.

I mean, I, I think it's most likely temporary. A long time span of 40 years that we're talking about right now. There are unprecedented things that happen in cycles that we're not old enough to see or that weren't recorded with accuracy. So 40 years from now, could you find out like it never did go back up and now we trade coconut shells to survive? Yes, that's yeah. I like how you roll your eyes. That actually gives me confidence when I get wild and weird enough with a theory and I get that extreme that someone's like, "That's not gonna happen." I'm like, "It's not, so everything's fine." Well, let's fucking go to Disneyland and have some milkshakes, bro. Everything's fine. Exactly. Because I you know I'm also around you know the internet sometimes and I'm like, "God damn, there's some doomer doomer shloomers out there, right there." Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My God, you gotta keep that pushed out. Oh dude, I just gotta keep up in the hills and the four million dollar houses.

Just hang out there.

Professional voice.

And then eat those motherfuckers if if shit does go down because. They're weak. They've been sitting at the computer. They're pale.

Well, you'll know where all the vacant ones are. You're like, babe, we gotta go up to the hill. Grab all the supplies. I know the right house to go to.

Yeah. Uh, yeah. That's, uh, yeah.

Last of Us. Have you seen that one?

No, I don't watch anything else.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Dude, I watched, I just watched, uh, Inside Out 2. That's my kind of movie. And which by the way is phenomenal. It's a bitchin' movie. Did you see Inside Out 1? I mean, you guys have, right?

Yes.

Do you remember how good that was? Inside Out 2, the way that you can have— okay, we all know, we're all— look it, I'm not being pretentious. We're all creatives, as the business assholes call us. We know that you can have an idea, you can have an outline that can be genius. It's completely different than execution and then final product.

Right. Yes.

Somehow, maybe they are drinking baby's blood. I don't know. Somehow they're praying to some weird god that Satan just does what they say. Somehow they pull it off so regularly, right? And Inside Out 2 is so good. And my wife was like, well, of course, babe, like, it's Pixar and they wrote the first one. I was like, babe, babe, babe, babe, I've been around some of these people before. You can write an outline down, you can have a genius idea. Pulling it off is this whole nother thing.

Oh, yeah.

In a timeframe that's like, dude, they didn't take a 10-year break and make it and then reshoot everything to find the right thing. They just made another movie. Maybe I'm giving him too much credit.

Well, no, I mean, I haven't seen it yet. I didn't like that they killed off Bing Bong though. That was—

remember that traumatic Makes Us Stronger though, Alex?

Bing Bong.

We needed Bing Bong, dude.

That's—

that was one of my favorite.

Yeah, John Lovitz. Uh, no, it's not John Lovitz. No, it's, uh, it's not Andy. Uh, he's— he was on Curb, but he used to be on like All in the Family and a bunch of comedy throughout, throughout.

Yeah.

Uh, life. Is it Andy something? Look it up if you're watching one of these, uh, viewers. Asking. Yeah, push X-Hamster to the side and look up Bing Bong from— but yeah, that was a bummer. But Disney and Pixar, they know that like they have to make children cry to make them feel like excitement later. So yeah, you know, it's exactly what they do to us.

Kill off the parent, traumatic.

Oh, they have to. It's so weird. It seems kind of sadistic, but you're like, it's just part of primal storytelling. Oh yeah, yeah, into the story and invested. But yeah, Inside Out 2, absolutely phenomenal. And I think in 40 years You'll be thankful that you bought real estate. That's right.

Exactly.

Thank you for tying it up.

So Joe's prediction is he's heading off to dinner, so he's saying goodbye. But oh, Joe, he said in 40 years the house will be on top of me.

Joe, the house will be on top of him.

Yeah, but he'll still be on the ground, in the ground.

Oh, Joe, don't you don't you watch Joe Rogan? You're gonna have special pills or something like that. You're gonna live a long time, Joe. Mazel tov. L'chaim to a long life. For Joe, start jogging today. That's right. Please cut the carbs down, keep the protein up.

That's it.

Take your vitamins.

Yeah.

Yeah. This podcast is sponsored by AG1. That's right.

Oh my God. We got another—

Um, I mean, we reacted to one video.

Okay. Yeah.

For about 30 minutes.

Okay.

It's all good.

You deserved it, dude. That guy didn't have a shirt on under his sweatshirt. Exactly. He deserved what we did.

We have to I'm glad Chad caught that. That was a weird— that was a weird thing.

Chad, you're rad.

Um, I'm just gonna pick maybe one or two more. Okay.

So I told my wife I had to podcast with you guys till 3 in the morning, so you better make this long.

Exactly.

I'm skipping bedtime.

She'll just keep like signing on and you'll see her go, all right, he's still doing it, he's still there, I know where he is.

She's probably watching it with the boys right now. Why is Daddy saying that? No, they know me.

Scaring me.

Oh yeah, dude.

All right, how about—

hmm, what you got?

Do we want to do Why Most Real Estate Agents Fail or Real Estate Agent Reality?

Real Estate Agent Reality. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

Why Most Real Estate Agents Fail. Then you watch, you're like, fuck you. Finds out about this, they'll all want to be realtors.

I love you.

Always been great taking pictures, Butters. I won't forget this when I'm rich. Gosh, thank Hey, John, I got some bad news. We just lost another client to South Park Realty Group.

What?

We're losing people like crazy. These guys are ruthless. Who is this South Park Realty Group? Has anyone heard of them? Dude, I remember the episode. I watched this with my wife and was like, yes. A pretty young guy. Can't have been in the business that long. Oh my God, that's a pretty damn good picture. Two Trey Parker Matt Stone. Soft filter, nothing I've ever seen.

All right, everyone.

Looks like we've got some competition. If anyone thinks they can take our clients, they've got another thing coming.

Everyone get up.

We're gonna retake our pictures. No, no, no. We're getting our fucking pics. We need to show this kid what we can do. Oh my God! Oh my God, dude! So welcoming. Did you see the pandemic special, by the way? Like after the pandemic, it was so good. No, I didn't see it. Yeah, yeah. I barely. They're the Mel Brooks of this generation. Trey Parker, Matt Stone. They're just—

Well, speaking of Mel Brooks, uh, Stephanie commented earlier, John is as if Mel Brooks and Robin Williams had a kid who sold real estate.

Oh my God.

Stephanie, she's touched your soul.

I don't know if she knows your background.

I don't know if she knows that my wife needs to know I'm in love with a different woman. He feels seen. Anything you say.

Yeah.

You know, like in some cultures, someone saves your life. You have to like hang out with them till you save their life. Like, You just saved my life, Stephanie.

She is single.

I was having a— okay, stop.

I'm—

send a few pictures.

I'm just kidding. Can you go to video chat with Stephanie? Like, do you have the same sweatshirt as that realtor with no shirt on or anything? Uh, thank you so much. That is honestly like— it doesn't get much crazier than comments like that. Which, by the way, I've shown Mel Brooks's son's, uh, property to another client of mine once, dude. Oh, dude, can I tell you a quick story about it real quick? It might be anticlimactic.

Well, I knew when you closed the show yesterday with the Blazing Saddles reference that—

I mean, that's like one of my favorite movies.

You're like, anyone?

It doesn't get much better because that was like what I grew up on. Yeah, good stuff. Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies. Okay, so I have another good friend who's again a buyer, but good friend that's like, hey, can you help me?

He's a producer and assistant producer.

He's a director. He does really— he's really Really cool, very talented. Um, and I don't wanna say any names right now because, uh, uh, I'm talking about the Mel Brooks situation here. But, uh, so he wants to see this property. It's in downtown LA in an area that's like a very art artsy loft area, right? And so anytime a client's like interested, like this is one of the things that we do as agents. I don't know if it's just agents watching and they're like, yeah, we know we're all agents, or if there's some actual like regular people watching. Yeah. But as agents, like this is why it's important to have a good agent. Everything's relationships. Everything, every business you ever seen, every company, every athlete, anything you do, the reason any of this stuff gets done is politics. politics is because people get together and go like, hey, what's up, dude? Like, and then look each other in the eye and just talk like human beings. And then the other technical stuff happens, right? So one of the things that I do is that if a client goes, I wanna check out these places, if I have time, I'm gonna go through and call every agent. What's the scoop? Catch me up to speed, bro. Mm-hmm. That's what my, my, my, uh, mentor taught me when I first started. Like, just ask 'em to catch up to speed on what's going on because they'll tell you things, especially if you say anything I should disclose to my client. If you use the disclose word.

Mm-hmm.

Because agents will be like, oh shit. Okay.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I don't wanna get sued. Let's, um, let's tell— yeah. So you just get that, that extra information that brings some sort of like extra level to your client than, than they just showed up to like a Redfin douche, you know?

Right.

Or a Purple Bricks guy. Like, hey, how you doing? Like, you're actually like working for them figuring shit out. So I call this agent and I was like, so why are they getting rid of this thing? Oh, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a writer, a screenwriter and a, and a, and an author. And I was like, oh cool. Screenwriter, author. Nice. Like anyone I might know? Yeah.

Yeah.

And, uh, right, and I'm like, my spaceship just landed, I don't know anything that's going on, right? It's once in a lifetime that I'm like, oh, I actually heard of that book. Um, and she goes, uh, yeah, I forgot who the screenwriter was. No, nothing I, I, I could recognize that she could tell me. But she goes like, yeah. And then I was like, what's the, uh, what's the novelist dude, uh, person, what they, what they do? It's like, oh, he writes, uh, zombie books or zombie fiction or something like that. Immediately I just go like, Mel Brooks's son, Max Brooks. You know who Max Brooks is? That's his son who wrote the, the zombie apocalypse movie that they made. Z, but he wrote the book. Yeah, I think it's World War Z, but he wrote the actual book. I don't think he did the screenplay or anything to do with the film, but he did this book. And I just know that because it's Mel Brooks's son. Yeah, with— and he looks like Anne Bancroft, who's— Bancroft, who's his mom. And I was just like, oh dude, like, this isn't like a Brooks family member, is it? And she goes like, it actually is, it's Max Brooks. And I was like, oh, that's cool. She's like, yeah, I do like real estate for the Brooks. I was like, Like, did the, all the Brookses? Like, I'm like on the phone, I immediately go for like confident real estate agent. Like, oh, oh, really? Like just sweating. Like, you know, like you can feel the sweat. It's like, you, you talk to the Brookses? Like, do you like meet 'em in person? Like, have you touched their arms? Like, I kept my cool. I mean, I'm just obviously embellishing to be silly, but like, I was just like, oh my God. And so then I got, I, I, I, I showed the property. My buddy didn't wanna buy it. I, I feel like it was going for, it was going for like $1.5 million or something like that. It's so expensive. Yeah.

Yeah.

Even in an area of downtown LA where you're gonna get bitten by a zombie.

Yeah.

That's where you get ideas for his movie.

He just looks out his window.

He's like, crackheads, they're kind of like zombies. Uh, uh, it wasn't right for my client, but, uh, I was so jazzed, dude. And I was like, I'm just walking this area. I was like, I bet Mel's visited his son here when he's like writing. Like, hey, you want to go grab a bagel? Or, you know what I mean? Like, and like, I saw like the whole thing and I'm like touching the wall like Mel Brooks. Like my client's like walking around like, just let me know if you need anything. And then I'm like, I'm gonna— I sit down on the toilet. I was like, I bet Mel Brooks took a pee pee here. Like, yeah, no, I wasn't that bad, but I was Starstruck. I mean, he's definitely a hero, and I know people that have met him, and I'm like, "I'm not jealous that you met him," and I'm just like, "Yeah, I want to meet him." But then I was like, "You don't meet your heroes anyways, right?" Yeah, I'd probably meet him, and he'd say something and be like, "Yeah, I saw you said it wasn't that funny." I'd be like, "That's cool." I just kill myself in the parking lot. Working on it. But that episode of South Park, yeah, hilarious, and it did remind me of a callback to what we were talking about earlier. Do you know what that is?

No.

You know what we're talking about? Like being having to ask like, hey, what what am I supposed to do? Like what do we have to do? Yeah. Part of the symptoms of of being a guy like me that doesn't understand a lot of this cultural language is like I just fall for it when I hire somebody that's like do this douchey thing. I'm like yes sir. I've done that my whole life.

Yeah.

Like I have headshots from like Hollywood where I'm like those are awful. But I was like they just said like put a suit on and shave and like I was I would be like, goodbye beard. They said it. Like, I shaved. Oh my God.

I need those pictures.

Like, for stupid stuff.

Yeah.

It's the same with real estate. So like, they're like, take a, take a picture of a, we need you to just, just look at your phone. Like, 'cause have you ever seen those? I don't think I ever did those exactly.

Yeah.

But you've seen the realtor like on their phone photos, you know? Oh, like they're getting, getting out of a private jet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What is this saying? Like, okay, you like Crab Louie's? Like, you're, you're, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like Bloomingdale's isn't fancy enough for you. You're a Neiman Marcus guy. Like, what is it saying about like you're? It usually means you're not honest and that you're exploitative. People fall for that, but they fall for it. Yeah, that's the weirdest thing. Yeah, is you think like rationally, like no, but yeah, like the Cartman stuff is like I I've totally fallen for like yeah, make this video or okay, like I just because when I try to figure it out myself, I'm just like floating around in some abstract like yeah in darkness.

Well, and I think it's like with agents, people are expecting a certain thing. Maybe they are expecting the guy in the. suit, you know, and you gotta like play off of that.

My content guy's like, can I get a photo of you in a suit? I was like, I don't wanna wear a suit right now. He's like, well, a sport coat. It's like, I have like 2 sport coats and I wear them for fancy occasions, but not— no. But they do. He's like, well, you need like a tie. I was like, I wear a tie. Yeah. Like, I don't work on Wall Street. I work in the suburbs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, no, but there's a way.

I think there's a way that you can, that you can make it your own though too. So yeah, the hat is what I'm thinking.

The, the hat for my next real estate photo.

With the suit.

He's so goofy. My wife will just get mad at me.

She'll be like, how much did you Bend on me.

Take this seriously, you have kids.

She keeps screaming.

I need someone to keep me in check though. Yeah, a man needs a woman, right?

You got to have a— you got to, you know. Well, you could do this for Joshua Tree. You have 2.

You have your LA one.

Yeah, you have your Joshua Tree, then you have your LA one.

Yes, I can't wait to lay down on the couch and tell my therapist like, well, my friend Alex said I should have multiple personalities just so I can be successful in this world.

No, it's—

yeah, that's why you're confused, John, and we're gonna just give you a little bit of medication for whatever Alex convinced you to do.

Yeah. I'll start when you were 5.

I'm so gullible that like you telling me that, I'm like, oh, oh shit. I, I mean, that's the beauty. Don't do that. No, I'm trying to do that.

Yeah.

No, I'm, it's, it's a weird combo. This is, this is when you self-diagnose yourself as autistic, which I'm not, but like, just, I'm a very sarcastic dude.

Right.

And I get frustrated when people don't read my sarcasm.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't read sarcasm. Right. Imagine being a person that speaks French.

Yeah.

And is super pissed when people don't understand the French that you're speaking.

Yeah. Yeah.

But they speak French to you and you're just like, I, I don't speak French. What's going on here? That's how I'm with sarcasm. It's a very weird curse.

Okay.

I love to speak in sarcasm, but if I'm spoken to in sarcasm, I'm like, yes sir, right away. And they're like, Joe, what are you doing? It's like, did that— is that not—

She's joking.

Yeah. Can I have more bites? You said we'd go out for a bite. I had a bite. No, you can have as many bites as you want. I was like, oh, is that a figure of speech? Like, I'm so confused all the time, which is why I have empathy for people. 'Cause I'm like, I'm confused too all the time. I get it.

I get it. I need to see those baby-faced, uh, headshots.

Oh, I'll show you, dude. I'll take you down and be like a really weird, a really bad— yeah, for you. Yeah, we'll play some Zappa in the background. You'll be like, what is going on with John? Like, he is funky.

Like, this was 6 months ago.

This is yesterday. Then I pull my beard off. I wear a fake beard right now because the other one's not grown back right after that weird— yeah, it's definitely— it's a trip that's culture. But yeah, like you said, people like that is so weird. Yeah, I know.

I know.

I've seen, I've seen, I've known agents and I've known people in other industries where I'm like, is that what they're, they're buying what you're doing right now?

Yeah.

Like it's not even real, but it's like they're, it's like a role that they want like from their agent, you know, or, or, you know, cuz they see it on TV and that's why these scammers, like whoever it is, like Crypto Bros, they can rent the, the stuff, the private jets. You can rent the thing, you could take a picture. Yeah. And you could sell like a course It's not legit.

Not even real.

Yeah.

And it works and it freaking works.

Yeah.

It's cuz people want to believe that. So I don't know. I don't know if the answer is you need to get another tie.

I'll get another tie and then I'll go to Pinnacle Peak and have them chop that shit right off when I eat my fucking medium rare burger.

Yeah.

That should be your headshot is like the tie cut off mid tie cut.

Yeah, that's right. Not your typical realtor.

In fact, he's fucking nuts. Look at his tie's getting cut off in this photo. What's the guy like that? You're killing me, Larry. Like, just take it to that level, dude. I totally would. Yeah.

Well, I, and, but on the, on the same token, I think being authentic people, you'll, you'll have the people gravitate towards you way better that are, that are you before you, you know? And you don't need, that's the best thing about real estate is like, you don't need like hundreds of deals to make it. You know what I mean?

No, not at all. And, and, and if you have clients that actually, that you're real with and that you, You can stop holding your breath, be who you are, and then also, they're gonna refer you. And you won't be right for everyone, dude. Like, I've literally shown up to a listing appointment to a guy getting out of an Escalade with the sport coat that has like the perfectly folded handkerchief in it. And like, he looked like he was from an ad, like from like the South Park thing.

Yeah.

And you're just like, oh, cool. And I still just go in there and do my thing. And I'm like, nice. There's a level of like, what is it? The hierarchy of needs, where it's like, like, I don't know, like, I live in a great neighborhood. Do I live in the neighborhood, like, up in the hills that I was showing those houses? No. But, like, my kids are happy, my neighbors are great. And those neighborhoods, sometimes you don't even— not that I don't wanna sell one of those houses. If you wanna buy one, you got the neighbors.

The neighbors are amazing.

I met 'em all. Like Beetlejuice. Let me tell you something, the neighbors are great. Uh, but a lot of times in those neighborhoods, those people are traveling, they're working late. The property is so big you're not even seeing them, which is great for a lot of personalities and cultures. But for me, dude, I like— I go outside and see my neighbor Kent, and I'm like, what's up, dude?

And we just start riffing.

His favorite comic's Bill Burr. We start talking about the last Bill Burr special. My other neighbor is like just a total suburb, like old white guy that wears like the In-N-Out shirt and like says like dad jokes to me from across the street. Yeah, I love that. My wife loves that. My kids love that. The, the— I don't need that house, although that would be fun, don't get me wrong. If you're watching this, you're like, I was about to write this motherfucker a check for $4 million just out of pity. Continue with the penmanship. Yeah, but you know, like selling your soul and not being who you are, like, I, again, I just liken it to holding your breath.

Yeah.

You can hold your breath and go underwater for a second. Someone says, shut your mouth, Jon, don't ruin this for me real quick. I'll be like, I won't bring that up. You're about to get laid. I'll just— he's great. I'll do that for a minute, but don't have me hang out with the bitch for 6 days. I'm gonna start doing some bits. I'm gonna tell her about that time you shit your pants on the way to Vegas. And so, you know, you can't hold your breath. None of us. It's not good for you. It's not good for society. And the people that want the inauthenticity, different neighborhoods, different cultures like that.

Yeah. Good.

Let, let 'em enjoy that.

Right.

The world goes round. It's a, it's an interesting, uh, aquarium we live in, right?

Yeah.

Let it, let it be that. But I've had clients even tell me like, dude, I'm so glad like you are that this guy, like my, my buddy Mikey, who is a friend of another friend that moved to Tennessee, he referred someone out here 'cause I helped them find their spot in Tennessee and hooked 'em up with a realtor out there. They said like, hey, you're buying a house, you gotta, you gotta talk to my guy John. I ended up becoming like good friends with this other guy too through them. And, and this, these families are awesome. And they told me, Well, he was like, dude, you're— if you were like one of those like weird-ass realtors, I don't think we would have worked with you.

Right, right, right.

Yeah, I mean, I'm weird, but like in my own way.

Yeah, yeah.

So, you know what I mean?

Yeah, uh, yeah.

Well, yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah.

Can we smoke joints on this show? We both just had joints.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Sorry, Joe, you would not do that. I'm not in Orange County. We'll be like chain gang. We'll be like Cool Hand Luke over here if you smoke a joint and get in Orange County. Orange County, that's death penalty, right? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

But I know what you mean by like the stuffy agent, you know, so I don't have to do agent outreach or anything like that. It's like you'll talk to a person, you're like, we can just talk normal. You don't have to like put on the show or whatever you're doing. It's very strange.

It, it's just different cultures though, cuz some people do business in that world and that's, if you don't do that, if you mess up, you're in a, like a jousting or a fencing game that it's like if you blink wrong.

Right.

It does ruin their lives or their deal. You ever, like, do you have any friends that are like rich and they're in these like families where it's like, oh, like they, they were taught not to laugh at a very young age.

Right.

And that's just their way. And it's like, it's not their fault.

Yeah.

But I'm just gonna be like, excuse me.

Yeah.

Gonna get the fuck out of this weird fucking episode of, uh, Severance or whatever. You know, you're like, are you guys robots? Robots? Robots?

Yeah.

So, uh, yeah, being real is definitely better for business. It's better for life. It's better for all relationships. ships. And if— I think some people are being real when they're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it Bautista, the agent, that him and his brother wear those pants that are too short and tight?

It's like, they're like porcelain dolls.

Looks very uncomfortable, but they have 0% body fat, right? They both have like $800,000 Porsches. They smile in the photos. They seem happy. So I'm like, is that authentic? That might be authentically him, but yeah, it wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't be fun. I eat the whole club sandwich when I go out to eat. I would not be like, all right, we're done Yeah, never did. And don't look at this investor wrong. Everything's riding on this. I'll be like, oh, all right, I'm just gonna leave then, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna go hang out my Honda. It self-drives pretty much. I didn't need the knees for the Honda. Yeah, no, the new Honda is like, dude, the, the cruise control, the new Hondas. Not that I want to take a jab at Tesla.

Yeah, you better not.

Yeah, because this weird Tesla—

no, Teslas are better. Teslas are better, dude. My buddy Matt also has like a self-driving Tesla. and like the torquiness of that thing, I'm like, yes, I will trade my Honda.

Wait, Honda has self-driving?

It's not officially self-driving.

Yeah, here it is. Here it is.

So there's a little button on the wheel.

Yeah.

It's lane assist. You hit that one. You also hit the cruise control. There's a little knobby, little, little finger trigger.

Yeah.

You just go— it determines how much space you'd like between the car in front of you.

Okay.

So you're sitting in traffic.

Yeah.

It slows down. I've had cars cut me off and my freaking Honda goes and stops smoother than a human foot would.

Nice.

Especially in these motherfuckers.

Yeah.

So yeah, dude, it's, uh, I don't wear these all the time.

Can it—

Only when I go to the gym.

Change lanes or break for deadlifts, huh?

Yeah.

Can it change lanes or anything?

No, it's, I, it's not a Tesla. It's not as good as a Tesla, dude. It's not a self-driving Tesla, but it's good enough that I can still go to a fancy restaurant, say the wrong thing, fart in front of somebody, not know how to pronounce crudité. Yeah. Still get my dinner.

Right.

And drive away and be like, I didn't have to hold my breath.

That was nice. That is good.

You know?

Yeah.

Now talk to me in 40 years when I don't have enough multifamily real estate and you do. Maybe I'll say I was wrong. Fuck, that'd be crazy, huh? But you know, John really could have had that apartment building and didn't, uh, he could have been in a nice little boat thing right now, but he had to say fuck in front of that guy from China. He was about to sign the check. He had to tell a sex joke, didn't he?

I don't know. I think if you just keep going, you'll eventually get there.

Yeah, dude. I mean, it's a pretty quick experience, right, dude? Yeah. I'm 43 now. I, I forget that I'm not like 17, 18, 19. Like, it's just, it's pretty quick. So it's like I'm watching my parents get old AF and I'm like, oh yeah, we're on a conveyor belt towards mortality. Like, it's not that long.

Mm-hmm.

Just try to come here, be a blooming flower real quick, you know? Shine for a bit, spread some love.

And there you go.

Eat some Korean barbecue with your boys.

Yeah, I like that.

You guys should have had Korean barbecue. I'm just saying, like, you invited me on a podcast, no Korean barbecue. Hey Joe, what's going on here?

Well, I wore the wrong shirt today, so—

Yeah, the problem with Korean barbecue is like the, the smell sticks on me for days.

You won't eat a food because of the smell?

Well, it's not the smell, it's like the bonfire aspect.

Oh yeah, we were— I suggested it before.

We almost went to Korean barbecue yesterday.

She wanted to show up, sit down on the couch, and Everyone's like, smell like cream barbecue.

You actually went into the restaurant and left? No. Oh no, you mean, you mean you didn't want to show up here?

Uh, oh, the show yesterday.

Yesterday, yeah. Oh, you could have smelled however you want. Yeah, no, you can smell however. Don't ever not eat food that you love because of the smell, dude.

Like bonfire smells weird.

That's cool.

Lingers a little bit, but I love it.

I was joking. You don't have to feel pressure to eat a food that I'm recommending. I was being silly. I didn't want you to have food here. I'm actually past my eating window for the day. Thank you very pretty much. Yeah.

Okay. That's how you stay so thin.

You just get older and you go, I have heartburn. And then you start reading about it and they're like, well, are you eating before you go to bed, dummy? It's like, well, not before I go to bed. Then you're like, well, what do you mean by before I go to bed? They're like, you know, 3 or 4 hours. And you're like, oh yeah, I always eat before I go to bed.

Yeah. And what do you have? You're like, hot wings.

Yeah.

Oh, geez.

When I was a young comedian living in Glendale, I had heartburn for 4 months. I talked to my mom on the phone. She's like, you, you still have heartburn? I was like, oh yeah. She's like, yeah, you're gonna go to the doctor. And I was My mom doesn't always have good advice. In fact, 99% of the time she doesn't know what's going on. But that one time I was like, I'll go to the doctor. Doctor's like, what do you— what's your schedule like? Okay, well, you know, I wake up at about noon. I don't eat much during the day, sometimes nothing. Usually 5 or 6 o'clock rolls around, most comedy shows will give me a drink. I usually start with a little whiskey. He's like, on an empty stomach? I was like, well, I don't, I don't eat much during the day because I'm just waking up, you know. And then, uh, for dinner, uh, you know, if someone has some food or some wings, you know, I might eat them. But usually I just go home 3 or 4. I get home from like the Comedy Store or the Improv, and I just like, uh, reheat like eggplant Parmesan or spaghetti, whatever my girlfriend's family like gives me, you know. My roommate sometimes has leftover stuff. My brother made like a pot, pot, you know, like a weed cake or whatever. I just cook that up, and that's about 4 AM. And then I go to bed. It's like, yeah, you can't do any of that anymore. And I was like, what?

Is that what's giving me the heartburn?

He's like, yeah, all of that. Who would have thought whiskey had an empty stomach? Because you could have heartburn and then you drink whiskey. Do you ever do that? You have heartburn, you drink some whiskey and it goes away. Oh, so like this is curing it. Yeah, but it's not. It's like a temporary thing.

It's numbing it.

Oh God, I was so dumb. I was so dumb. What am I gonna think I was so dumb about 20 years from now?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, I was like, I was like, why does someone do Pepto? Like, this is— Pepsi AC ain't got shit on a little Jim Beam, you know? No, it's not good for you.

Okay, well, we're hitting that time. Okay, so I don't know if you guys want to sign off with some final real estate stuff.

Yeah. Why don't you let everyone know where they can find you if they, um, you know, if they want to buy a house?

If you want to sell a house.

They want to sell a house.

If you want to buy a house, call me. I do have a great buyer's agent.

Yeah.

Um, if you want to find me, the 2 best places to find me are going to be, uh, on—

what are the 2 best places? Instagram.

Instagram.

Yeah.

Just go to Instagram. Chef Real Estate, and then I think Chef Realty. Is it Chef Realty?

Yeah.

I said the wrong one. It's some other guy. He's like, "I'm getting so many deals," but they keep asking me whatever happened to that Mel Brooks deal. Yeah. So go to Chef Realty on Instagram. S H E F Chef. And then come out on Wednesday. It's the Barney's Beanery in Pasadena. We got a great comedy show. Wait, was that that's what I think? I mean. You can find me at any of these spots. It's John Tomaszewski. I'm like gonna be, you know, hashtag on the, you know, follow a link.

Yeah. You know what I mean?

This is 2024. Follow a fucking link for once. But yeah, Comedy Road Dogs is in honor of, it's a live show we do and a podcast that my buddy Robert and I do. So it's on YouTube, Road Dogs Comedy, Comedy Road Dogs. But it's in honor of Angelo Bowers who was the greatest, sweetest, dirtiest, goofiest comedian comedian, um, who passed away about 10 years ago. And finally, we're finally getting, getting it together to honor him with a good comedy show. And we're— all the comics that are on it, you know, a lot of them have blossomed over the years. Like, some of them were like younger, newer comics like myself, and we were all friends and, and traveling together and doing these, these gigs. Sorry, excuse me. Oh my God, that's a— it's a road show now, right? You gotta go, you gotta bring a little Waylon Jennings here. You got a bucket? What do you call it? Bottle I can pee in to make it real. But Angelo was the greatest dude. So we decided, let's do a show and honor him and then invite a lot of the people that either knew him, that were road dogs with him, or that, like, were inspired by him, or that just kinda have that essence of being great human beings and great comedians. Because the combination, that's, that's always tough in any industry. Real estate, there's a lot of great people. Entertainment's full of fucking psychos.

Oh, yeah.

Tons of psychos. And there's a lot of great people, but the pie Charts insane, right? So when you find someone that's like, oh, they're funny and they're like a good, cool person, you see them do a good deed for someone. You know, my buddy Roy's Canadian, so of course he does good deeds. Luggage falls out of a trunk while we're driving. He's like, pull over! And I'm like, no, dude, we're— he's like, just pull over! Just because he has to go help someone get this luggage. It's like, it's a stranger, they might kill you, there might be a body in that luggage. And Roy's just like, oh, we got to do this, that's the right thing to do. And he's hilarious. It's like that That kind of combo of like being a great person, and that's that's kind of comedians we book. And the show is brand new, but it's at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena, 8:30 on Wednesdays. And it's just last last night was the third night.

That was fun.

It's just like it's just getting better every show. So yeah, come out to that. Follow us on Instagram, Comedy Road Dogs, Chef Realty Realty. Yeah, I don't even. My wife's like, that's the one you need to plug, you dickshit. My wife sounds like was it Jeff's wife on Herbie Enthusiasm? She's not. My wife's like a very calm, peaceful, wonderful person. But for the comedy, she's, uh, you know, she's really on me.

Yeah. Well, we'll link all your stuff in the description box.

Hell yeah.

And then, um, you know, we'll be back here next week. So thanks for filling in, brother.

Dude, I'll be back next week. I told Joe, I said, Joe, just stay over there.

Yeah.

I wanna spend more time out here, dude. So beautiful.

Thanks for having me.

Absolutely. Seriously, you guys are, you guys are a power couple and it's like an honor to get to be You guys, seriously appreciate that.

Also, don't forget about our meetup event.

Oh, that's right. On Monday. Yeah, we're gonna be at Hangar 24, and our guest from last Thursday is gonna be there, and he's gonna be talking all about creative finance, specifically novations. Um, and that's where you can, you know, flip properties without coming up with all the cash. So that's gonna be a really good thing to learn about, and he's pretty much the master. So make sure you come out next Monday. This coming up Monday, the 24th.

The 24th. The 24th. Next Monday.

Yep. 6 to 9 PM.

6 to 9 PM. Yeah. 6 to 9 PM. That's when I like to do it. Actually, I'm a morning guy, but yeah, yeah. 6 to 9 at night's just as good. You'll take it if you can get it, right? You're like, all right, babe, whatever the schedule says, it's on you. Yeah. 6 to 9 at night too.

Yeah.

Did you say 6 to 9 PM?

Yeah.

6 to 9 PM. 6 to 9 PM.

And there'll be food and drinks and Lots of people, so it'll be fun.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, so we'll see you guys there, and thank you so much, dude.

Thank you.

Bye.

So much fun. If you want some more advice on real estate investing, reach out to us one-on-one.