'Does Bacon Go with That?' Finding your Authentic Voice, 1 Listener at a Time with Geni Whitehouse

Welcome to TFR, This Feels Right podcast. Every episode, we're sharing impactful communication skills you need, or you didn't even know that you needed them until you've listened to this episode. I'm Joel Silverstone, your host, and I'm excited to have you on this journey with us. I'm also the founder of TFR, This Feels Right, where for over 25 years, we've been helping leaders, and teams from top organizations build and elevate their communication skills in presentations, team building, and difficult conversations. And if you want to learn more, head on over to thisfeelsright.ca. All right, before we get to our episode, we kindly ask you to do us a favor. If you could leave a review, a rating, and subscribe so you don't miss an episode of impactful communication skills that feel right. Let's get to our show. Bacon go with that? Finding your authentic voice one listener at a time. Today's episode with Jeanne Whitehouse. And we came up with this title because I saw Jeanne presenting at a conference in Arizona, and she was just so authentic and engaging with her stories, especially her humorous take on wine pairings like, does bacon go with that? And Jeanne's gonna be sharing with us in this episode some really insightful and confidence-building presentation skills tips. You know, specifically authenticity wins, why being yourself is your biggest asset, how you find that one listener who needs your message and can really transform your confidence and impact and how you do that, and using humor, how you use stories and humor to break down barriers and resonate with any crowd. Jeannie Whitehouse is a TEDxNapaValley speaker, A CPA and self-proclaimed nerd who believes that there's magic in the numbers. She's also the co-founder of Solve Services and author of How to Make a Boring Subject Interesting: 52 Ways Even a Nerd Can Be Heard. She's also a consultant at Brote, Markle, Davis and Company. All right, let's meet Jeanne Whitehouse and Does Bacon Go with That? Finding Your Authentic Voice One Listener at a Time. Forgot to ask you, did you do a vocal warm-up today before you came on to this?

No. About about what I did.

That's the hardest one.

Okay.

Jeannie Whitehouse, so great to have you a guest here on TFR This Feels Right Podcast. We're calling this, Does Bacon Go with That? Because I never met you before. And then all of a sudden I see you presenting, sharing your authentic voice in August in Arizona at a conference. And I'm like, who is this person? And it just blew me away because here you're talking about sharing your authentic voice and you were sharing your authentic voice. And we're gonna be talking about presentation skills. And my takeaway was your stories about the winery and how you just decided to be yourself and not try to be a wine snob or wine expert. And you literally would say something like, well, does bacon go with that? So maybe let's start with, with the bacon, because we're talking about presentations, and I think people always want to know. And, and you're a TEDx speaker, and your, your TEDx talk was also about, again, finding your, your inner voice or your authenticity. Um, what was the aha moment for you? When did you realize that this was so important to to presenting or being yourself, I guess, in meetings or whatever?

I think it really became apparent when I came into the wine industry because I moved from Atlanta to California in 2004 with a software company. And then I started working with wineries and, you know, I'm from South Carolina. I sound like this. So I thought, and I had a friend who was a managing partner of a CPA firm. He said, come work with us and our winery clients. And I just looked at him and went, do you hear this accent? Do you think I know anything about wine? And he said, I don't need you to know wine. I need you to know how to do advisory and how to do accounting. And I said, okay, I'll give it a shot. But I was terrified. I mean, this is people like Mondavis and all these names you've heard of.

Yeah.

And I had this great experience in drinking Franzia from a box. So I didn't think there was gonna be a lot of connection. And I was really afraid that I needed to act like I knew stuff. And so, and I finally went, And I don't know what the moment was, but I just didn't have a choice. I mean, I didn't know anything. And so we went to our first client. I actually did a tasting before I went to a client because I was so afraid. And somebody set up a tasting with somebody and it happened to be a small winery. And I got to do everything from going to the harvest to help cut the berry, the berries. See, I don't even know what to call them, the grapes.

Sure.

And then went through the whole process and I had the most boring wine presentation delivered by the winemaker. And by the time he finished, I was like, oh my God, I want to drink this stuff. And it was all about malolactic fermentation and sciencey stuff. And it went on for like 45 minutes while you're holding the glass waiting to drink. And then that's when I went, you know, that's what accountants do to our clients. We bore the fool out of them and talk about stuff that they don't care about. And so that was the moment when I went, I gotta, I gotta embrace what I have to make it easier to listen to me when I'm talking to wineries. And also, I'm gonna just ask questions because I'm really curious about what the heck it is they do. And so once I gave myself permission to not come in and try to prove that I was smart, which is what most of us do, both in speaking, consulting, and conversation, our number one goal is to make that person know that I'm smart, right? Well, I'm, you know, I didn't have that choice when it came to wine. And so what I realized is by asking questions, I make them feel smart.

Yes.

And that's really the focus. And I had already figured that out for presenting, that my number one job was to make it easy for them to understand what I was trying to communicate and to take the fear away from subjects that are normally scary, like technology and accounting. And so I really focused when I sat down to do a presentation on what is it these people really need to know? What do I want them to know and how can I help them? And when I took the focus away from how can I show how smart I am when I get up there? Yes, it frees you. It really gives you permission. And that's what burdens most people. I think they'll know that I don't know anything if I get up in front of them and start talking. So they bolster that by putting a lot of baloney in the front of the presentation. Here's what I've done. I've done this for 40 years and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you've lost them by that time.

With, with, with heavy graph slides as well and lots of charts.

You know, and I did software demos with people and they put 50 slides about all the client logos. Who cares? I don't care that so-and-so did it. I want to know what is it about your thing that matters to me and only show me that stuff. That's what they do in the wine industry as well. You have a bad wine person in a tasting room who proceeds to go through all the list of wines that they have and I only like one of those. So I don't care about the Chardonnay. I want to hear about the red. That's what I like. So unless they find out what you care about and target what they describe, it's going to be bad. And again, the same thing for us with clients. When I'm working with, with clients as a CPA, I can go on for hours about stuff that I care about, right? But it's irrelevant to them.

I'm taking, I'm taking a deep breath on that because that is— I can just think of how many conversations I've been in where all I'm thinking is the audience member or the one-on-one and go, and this concerns Concerns me because, and I should be interested in this because.

Exactly. And it's, and again, new presenters, and I think many people start out going, I'm going to get up here and show how smart I am. I, so after I did a TEDx talk, which is a local TEDx licensed event, I got off the stage and said, I want to help other people do this because it's such a valuable lesson for you yourself. But also there's value in people's stories. And I had speakers come in and they would start off by that, by coming out and going, I'm this and I've got this and I want you to know how great I am. And then they would tell some sort of story, but you, you would be put off already by that. And so I would coach them to go, these things are what's gonna connect you to the audience and your story is gonna show that you have credibility, but you don't need to blast off with that because you're afraid that people won't give you You know, their attention unless you prove it. And it goes— it works exactly the opposite way, which is, you know, I think really important for people to understand.

Well, I think you definitely hit on something, Jeanne, about this fear that we have of being judged, that we're, again, we're not smart enough or we don't know what we're talking about, and it gets in the way of our authenticity. Maybe share, if someone hasn't seen your TEDx talk, maybe share your first opening line, if you can recall what your opening line was when you came up.

Well, I remember it clearly, and you can't really hear it in the recording. But I came out and said, I have absolutely no business being on this stage. And it was really what I felt. And that was the voice of— the voice that I labeled as my internal nun, which was the voice of, no, you should, you can't, who do you think you are, what are you doing? And my other voice I named Abbasid Haim.

Yes.

So I had 2 voices. And that became really clear to me in the process of freaking out about having to come up with a TEDx talk. Like, what the heck do I have to share? Who wants to hear about my stupid stuff? And what am I going to do? And I said, you know, that's what I need to talk about. The fact that I have these voices and other people do too.

Yes.

And the real one, the heart and soul of me is the basset hound that I didn't listen to for most of my first 15 or 20 professional years. And when I finally started listening to the inner me, I changed things. And I also connected better and had a heck of a lot more fun.

Well, and that's what we want. We want to see the person having fun. But also, when we're going up and presenting, we're so freaked out. It would be great to go in with this mindset with having fun. So how, you know, what's your suggestion? Because you've coached many people and you've coached TED Talk speakers. How do you help with that mindset to make that switch, to listen to their inner basset hound?

I really, um, the number one thing that I discovered, and I mean, before I went on that stage that day, I was terrified and I wanted to go run away. I didn't want to do it. And I really was crippled with fear. And I was outside pacing before I went inside to get ready to go speak. And I was the first speaker, which I did by design. I wanted to get it over with.

Okay.

Not listen to anybody else. Um, and finally I went, you know, I may not have anything to say, but there's one person in this audience that needs to hear what I have to say. And I, that's what I tell people. If you will focus on that and they need to hear it the way you say it. You know, there's no really new concept. And what I was sharing wasn't that different, but they hadn't heard it with basset hounds and nuns before, I don't think.

No, that was a good one. Yeah, your imagery was good. Yeah.

Yeah. Once I did that, it gave me permission to go, you know, I know there's going to be one person in this room. And I think it was relatively small. It was in the opera house in Napa. It was really cool, kind of fancy space. And it wasn't that many people, but I thought there's got to be one person who needs to hear this message. I finished the talk, we had a break, and immediately, I kid you not, word for word, this woman came running up to me and said, you said exactly what I needed to hear. And I broke down and started sobbing.

Oh.

You're my one. You're my one. And that still gives me chills when I talk about that. And that person actually became a member of the planning committee for future TED events. But it was like immediate validation. And, and, and it was just proof that, you know, that's enough for me. If I can find one person that cares that I'm helping, then I've done my job. And that gives me permission to tell them what I think matters from my perspective and what I can uniquely tell them that might help them when they face similar challenges that I faced.

I, there, I, what I, what I really like about this and what I'm hearing in this, Jeannie, is that When you go up there and not try to please everybody, which is maybe the trap that we get into with, look how smart I am, because the focus is actually on, on me, and I'm gonna play it safe, and I'm gonna just show you lots of information and, and hope it lands somewhere. Yeah.

Yeah. You've seen those presenters, and they're, they're not good. It doesn't connect in the same way. They're not real. They're, um, they're hiding behind that.

Yeah, well, it's, it says just send me the PDF, basically.

That's right.

I, I don't need you to present this to me. I'll— because then I, then I could find, to your words, then I'll just find the red wine that I'm looking for in that PDF. I don't need to hear about the Chardonnay. That's right.

I don't care about the Chardonnay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you're— well, you know what you said about hitting that one person, um, is, is also really good because People will pick up different things about what you're sharing. You know, maybe like I took away, does bacon go with that? Was my takeaway from your sharing your authentic voice. But I might be the only one in that room that that was the takeaway. But everyone would have had different takeaways because it resonated because you were being, again, yourself. And so you touched me, in other words, with that. And I wanted to, again, continue the conversation and have you on the podcast.

Well, Joel, bacon touches everybody.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I wanted to tell you more about what that was. So people will introduce me because I live in Napa Valley and I work with wineries as a wine expert.

Right.

And I go, I am not a wine expert. I can't tell you what pairs with what, but I can tell you that bacon pairs with everything. And that was what I say. But I mean, they do that all the time. Like, no, I'm not a wine expert. I know how to count it. And I know that, you know, it goes with bacon. So, and I don't want to be labeled as an expert. I never want to be that because that, that is off-putting. And that also puts a lot of pressure on you to meet somebody's standard. And instead, I'm the, you know, I'm the person who's gonna ask a bunch of questions. I'm learning.

Yeah, you're a, you're a voice, you're a voice for it. And again, your unique voice for it. And so I I have another question around unique voice, and that was, I found really interesting, was you went through this route, you have a background in accounting, and, but you decided to take up stand-up comedy. So tell us a little bit about how that happened and what that did for you.

I, so I left accounting after 15 years of doing it and doing tax, which, you know, is the boringest of the accounting things you could do. And I decided I wanted to go into high tech. I had a some technology background, but I had to do a presentation as part of my job. And my job was to build influencer connections with accountants so that they would recommend our software. It was a Danish accounting software that people hadn't heard of. So my job was to build our influence through accounting. So I built a partnership program for accountants and I had to present the program to people who were partnering with our software company to implement the software. So people had their own businesses, they would get a license to our software and they would go out and implement and sell it. So I, before I rolled out this program, I called those people and said, what do you think about CPAs? And they said, 100% of them said, we hate them. Great. I am one and I'm building a program to get CPAs to work with you and you hate them. Um, so I had to craft a presentation to get them on board with me. And I thought, I've got to break down the barrier. I've got to embrace what they think about us and start from that. And so I asked a friend, I need a comedy video about bad and how boring accountants are. And she said, Monty Python and the Lion Tamer. She didn't even think.

Okay.

Immediately said, you need this video. So I said, I'm gonna start with that video and I'm gonna say, here's what you told me you thought about us, which is we're nerdy, boring, awful. But if a client has a question, they come to me and not you. So you need me to not say no about what you're trying to do. And once I made them laugh with that video, they were on my team. And I saw the tension and they were in the room like, we don't want to hear what this person— pitchforks and I think flames. And as soon as they laughed, all that went away and the door opened for me to make a connection and to tell them what I wanted them to do, which was going to help them sell more software. And so while I'm doing that, I'm going, wow, this is a powerful tool. I need to get better at this because I was trying to make accountants better and do all those things. you know, make numbers more meaningful and useful. And I realized that there was fear around what I'm trying to do. And so comedy was the way to break down the barrier. So I went and searched. Well, really, the second thing, and I talked about it in my TED Talk, is that shortly after that, my dad passed away. And he just, he dropped dead. We saw him at Christmas and 4 days later, he was gone. And I was in Atlanta, he was in South Carolina, I had to drive there. And while I'm driving there, I'm going, how am I gonna survive this? How am I gonna— what can I do? What do I do? And I went, I can make— I can present, I can do his eulogy. So I did, and I made it humorous because my dad was really funny and he enjoyed humor. And so I did a humorous eulogy. And while I'm doing that, I literally got this message of— I mean, while I'm standing there in the cemetery talking about him. I went, I need to take stand-up comedy training.

Hmm.

And I think he was there telling me that. And so I went out and went online, found comedy training in Atlanta and signed up and did it twice, actually. And the goal was not to become a comedian, clearly, but to really get over my lack of knowledge of how to be on stage and what to do and how to use humor as a tool for breaking down barriers to learning. And so it changed everything for me. It was amazing. Really scary, but, but an incredible tool to have and knowledge.

What's, what's it, what's a tip then you could share from the, from the stand-up comedy? I mean, they always say timing, but what, what's a tip that you could share with us from stand-up comedy?

I think it's, I think it's one of the things that I struggled with when I was in it. And one of the best parts of it was not my part on stage, because, you know, you're so terrified, you don't even know what you're saying most of the time. But you learn how to memorize things, you learn how to time different things. But watching people get up there and you start out with people and we're all just not funny and you come into this thing and we're all just terrified and nobody's funny. And you watch the people progress from not funny to funny by the time they're on stage at The Punchline, which is what you do when you graduate, which is a comedy club in Atlanta and multiple places. But seeing what made them funny and also seeing that they embraced their whatever aspect of themselves was unique. And that's what made it interesting. And I was just this middle-aged mom. I didn't really have anything. And I thought, I don't really got a thing. It's kind of just flat. I don't really stand out. But when I moved to California, I suddenly had a thing.

Right.

I was a redneck in California, a Southerner in the middle of this, you know, highfalutin wine country.

Yeah.

And so in California, I can work that. And when I'm in the South, I can talk about how crazy these people in California are. So it gave me a story to tell that I didn't have. So, and I didn't really realize that until I'm like, this is a gift. I can, you know, I can talk about this. And it also, when you're talking about accounting, you can talk about accounting and wine. It's not as boring just by nature of the kind of clients that I get to work with. So there's so many things that I just, you know, just gifts that I fell into. But it really helps. And you need to embrace some aspect of— you hear people talk about their physical body or their noses or something, or that they look like somebody, and they have something to work off of.

Yes.

And so, and that was—

Sorry, I was just gonna say what I, what I, what's, what I think what a good distinction from this is that it wasn't, you're not telling punchlines, you're not telling jokes. You're telling stories that come from your story, your, uh, and your personality, and a bit of self-deprecating humor as well. Uh, because, because basically people like, uh, when you, you know, sort of rose from the ashes type of story versus look how great I am.

That's right. And you can, and you convey your strength because you overcame the thing.

Yeah.

Because you don't come out with that. I'm, I've done, you know, this. That's why I don't like to be introduced. I don't want to do the bio thing. And I'm So, um, oh, I—

that's a, that's a good point. I don't, I don't like that either because I'm always like, oh, who's that person?

Exactly. And you don't want to know. You want to— you like that story to unfold as you hear about. You know, when I'm speaking about accounting, I've got to give some context so that people know I'm not just making things up. But it, but it comes out through my story, my progression from accounting to tech to To wine and all that. So you don't need to unfold it all and, like, throw it out there as your initial banner. Yeah, you're worthy.

I have one more question about presentations here, because this, this has really, really been good. So what, what can go— where do we go wrong in craft, in crafting our presentation? Because sometimes that can seem daunting.

Yeah, to me, there are 3 elements. And I, and this is something that I really refined in watching the TEDx speakers that we, I'd coached and the people that were amazing and the ones who didn't quite get there. There are 3 elements you gotta nail. First of all, content. You've gotta have something useful to say. You've gotta have a powerful delivery of that content, right? So the way you deliver it is hugely important. But the third thing is you gotta connect. To the audience. And it's the connection that people miss. I've got to talk like we had a— I just put on an event. I'm a president of a tech association. We just put on an event and I brought in 3 keynote speakers. I had one who had a space story, which was amazing, but it was hard to connect that. I'm not going to be going to space.

Well, not yet.

Not yet. I might be spaced out. I'm not going to say, but he had some great nuggets in there that are relevant to everybody, but he didn't specifically connect them. So, but people could make the connection. But the best speaker we had was an economist who was funny and entertaining and had great information, but also said, here's what it's gonna do for your industry and connected it specifically.

Yes.

Technology people that were in the room. And so you see that, I mean, you see people have great content, like you see very inspiring people talking about their story, but then you're like, what am I gonna do? I'm not gonna be Oprah. I'm not going to be, you know, working in the White House, but I want you to give me some stuff that I can take and apply in my own life. And that's really what I try to do. I really— that's— then that's hard to figure out. What does this audience need? That's different from a different audience. And I think we just don't spend enough time thinking about that. Again, we go to our head and go, oh gosh, I've got to be good.

Mm-hmm.

They know that I know what I'm talking about. But when we flip it, It helps. And, you know, one of the things, one of the nice benefits I have is as an accountant, the bar is very low. You're an accountant and you're going to speak. The expectation is like zero. So if you come out in a, you know, a non-gray suit, you're like a rock star. Okay, I got a pink blouse on. Woo! This is cool.

Right, right.

So it is, that's a gift too. So there are lots of things about Me as a speaker, that really helped. When I came out and started speaking, there were no professionally trained accountants who were speaking. They were terrible speakers. Although many of the shows didn't want people who weren't technical, who weren't really speaking about, you know, FASB 42 and all of that stuff. So I had a hard time getting on some of the stages. But once I did, they were like, wow, this is a speaker, right, who has content versus A very smart person who reads a bunch of slides, which is what most of accounting used to be. And it's gotten so much better now. There are a ton of really good speakers out there.

I do find that when I go to sort of technical conferences and also ask people, oh, and I'm phasing out and going, was that interesting? Yeah. But then the person who comes out and kind of is like a Jeannie Whitehouse and comes out and shares their stories and makes it relevant to the audience, That's the one where you can all of a sudden see the room completely change, like the temperature in the room completely changes. So, you know, that being— I think it goes to your core value, Jeannie, which is going back to how can I help this person? And maybe we'll sort of wrap up with that. And then I have one more big question for you, but maybe you could just talk about that, about that's maybe one of your core values.

Well, my why is I believe that, I believe there's magic in the numbers. I really think numbers are magical. I've always thought that. I mean, my business is called Even a Nerd Can Be Heard, and I'm a nerd. I mean, I love numbers. I love calculus. I love advanced math and all that stuff. And I think there's magic there. And in financial statements, there's magic, but nobody can realize it because it's so boring and they don't understand it. And we make it hard for them to understand it as accountants. So I exist to release the magic from those numbers so people can apply it in creating the life of their dreams. That's what motivates me. Everything that I do, and I have a bunch of things, as you know, that I'm doing. I do technology stuff and accounting stuff and winery training, and I have a book about this, and I do a lot of speaking, and I work with tech companies. But every single thing that I'm doing is aligned with that.

Yeah.

I think people need to know what this stuff means so they can harness it. to their own benefit. And when we make it difficult and scary and boring, we're not gonna get through to that person. And so they're gonna suffer as a result. And so I wanna relieve that. And it's not just for my clients and companies who are owners, but accountants are suffering because they're not valued for what they do because of the poor communication. So that really, that motivated me to be a speaker. Not, I never woke up one day and said, I wanna be a speaker.

Mm-hmm.

I woke up one day and said, I don't want people to suffer like I did as an accountant, and I don't want clients to suffer like my clients did when I handed them a big fat tax bill and couldn't help them figure out how to pay it. So that's what made me have the strength to stand up there and start saying stuff and to even move into technology, because I thought technology can help people do better businesses and can help us communicate as accountants with those people. But then I realized you can't just take a piece of software and throw it in there and solve all the problems. You gotta do something around it. And that's where the communication skills matter.

And, and when you offer some bacon.

And we have bacon. Bacon heals all ailments. I've heard people who are vegetarians, but they make an exception for bacon.

Well, that's like, I, I tried, I tried being vegan for a year. And, and then I realized I was just eating lots of processed food because I was, I was eating fake bacon and fake hot dogs. And I'm like, hmm, this— there's got to be— I'm not quite doing it right here. It was about making healthier choices, but I'm eating lots of processed foods. And for everyone, bacon is a processed food, whether it's fake or bacon, it's processed. Fake or bacon, it's processed. All right. I have one, you know, sort of the left field question, the deeper question, the more meaningful question here, Jeannie. So before we let you go and find out where we could find out more about Jeannie Whitehouse, here's the question. Jeannie, if you could have dinner with anyone, could be a fictional character, it could be a famous person, it could be someone from literature, it could be someone from your past, it could be a family or someone that you would love to be alone, have, and have like a dinner with them, like just this, on this time where you're both focused on each other. That's—

that comes to mind immediately. Michelle Obama.

Okay.

I think she's a fascinating, brilliant, amazing woman who shows what grace and hope and strength and fortitude looks like in real life. I think she's just an amazing force. And just to not have been officially elected to a role, I think she had a huge impact on the country. And I'm hopeful that we'll have some more folks like that who are doing positive things in the world, regardless of Their politics.

Agreed. And people always talk about Barack Obama being such a great speaker. I'm gonna have to say Michelle Obama is an amazing speaker. She's, she's got it down pat. She's speaking to that authentic voice. She's speaking with a passion. She's clear on everything that you just said, that she's speaking as though she's speaking to me, like she's not just making noise.

She's a mom. She's one of us. She's a daughter. She talked about her mom and her impact. I mean, she just, she resonates in a way. And yeah, and I think Barack is fantastic too. But I mean, you know, as a woman, you're really drawn to some of the things that she says.

And— Oh, I mean, and I'm not even a woman. There you go. And I'm, I think she's amazing. Yeah.

And she doesn't take herself seriously. I've seen her on, you know, on The Tonight Show and things where she's just you know, playful, and, and I think she's great. So that would be really fascinating to sit down and talk with her.

Agreed. Great. All right, um, Jeannie, uh, before we let you go, uh, I'm sure people have lots of questions and, uh, want to find out more. So where can they connect with Jeannie Whitehouse?

You can go to my website, jeanniewhitehouse.com, or you can email me at jeannie@evenanerd.com, and I'll be happy to talk with you. I'd love to learn about your story and what you're doing.

Love it. Jeannie, thank you so much for being a guest on TFR, This Feels Right.

You're the best, Joel. Thank you.

Thank you, Jeannie. Thank you for listening to this episode of TFR, This Feels Right. And if this felt right, then please leave a review, comment, or ask us a question. And of course, we ask if you could kindly follow us so you don't miss an episode of impactful communication skills. And speaking of impactful communication skills, you can learn more at our website, thisfeelsright.ca. I'm your host, Joel Silverstone, and happy to connect with you on LinkedIn. And we'll see you on the next episode of TFR, This Feels Right.