Breaking Through Fear

Hey everyone, John Assraf here. I hope you are having an amazing Tuesday. We do these live every Tuesday, 9 o' clock San Diego time, which is where I'm at. And you might be able to tell because of the short sleeve shirt and it's 12 o' clock in New York. Not sure what time it is in London right now or around the world where many of you are today. We are going to be talking about procrastination. Now think about it this way. Procrastination is an effect and in many cases self esteem and fear is the cause. So we'll talk more about that. I've got my computer over here. This is our new set over here. I'm going to ask Danny to post some pictures we took a little bit earlier to show you the new Neurogym set. We have an amazing crew that is able to help film and an amazing team and we're going to be doing a lot of great training not just here but also in our private communities that our clients from around the world are in. And so I've got my, my Facebook Live open right now. Share with me who you are, where you're from. Let's see who's there. And, and let me say hi to a few of you right now just to get the, the morning started here. All right. Is procrastination something that gets the best of you sometimes? I would imagine the answer is yes. So let me see if we can see myself live here. There we are. So the set looks good. Alrighty. So we've got people joining us right now. If this is your first time, I would love to know that it's your first time or you've been on these live sessions before. Let me know. Hi there. Brina and Tanya and Zoldiva from Istanbul. Cynthia, Maxine from Florida. Hi there. All right. Sheila and Rose, born from Utah. We got lots of people joining us. All right, so as you join us, do me a favor, hit the like button or the love button that you're enjoying these programs we do every single week. And hello there, Leah from Norway. We've got Bill from Salt Lake City. All right. Jennifer Xiao. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Nice to have you on. Mo Aronstein, I believe. These are going so fast on my screen here it's really hard to, to keep track. The set looks amazing. Awesome. Take a look at the pictures just below that. Danny, our social media manager is going to put on there as well. Awesome. Rose and Daniel. All right. Ariana from Tucson. Must be hot there. All right, David. Awesome. Holly, Kiona Gail, awesome, awesome, awesome. Glad you enjoy this. If you enjoyed these in the past, hit the like or the love button. Here's a question for all of you. Do you ever procrastinate? I mean, I procrastinate. Do you ever procrastinate? Because we've got to get on the same page to understand procrastination and understanding, you know, what is procrastination. What I can share with you is fear is one of the things that causes us to procrastinate. I'll explain more in just a moment. I can also share with you I've got a little PDF. If you want this PDF, it's only two pages of well written out information on procrastination and fear. And I'll share with you the process. If you want this, just type in yes and our new system will give you a link right away to get this. So there's really nothing to do other than just type in yes. If you want a copy of this PDF, which is how to clear your mind of fear, which is one of the causes of procrastination, in less than 60 seconds. And I'll show it to you as we go along today. All right? And I'll tell you more about this. So I want you to think about procrastination, right? And why are you procrastinating? Meaning you're not taking action towards achieving more of the success that you want, or you're not taking action to let go of what you need to let go of to clear the path for you. Procrastination isn't just about not doing what you need to do to move forward. Procrastination is also about what you need to do to allow you to break free so you can move forward. And so let's understand if you were to research procrastination, okay? A lot of neuroscientists, neuropsychologists, therapists would share with you that a lot of times we procrastinate because of low self worth or low self esteem. Let me explain, by the way. First and foremost, do you think you might procrastinate because you're afraid, right? Procrastination, fear. You're afraid that your work may not be good enough, may not succeed. You may fail. You may succeed and fail. You may look and look bad, or be embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed. If that resonates with you as why you might procrastinate, let me see that in the community over here. And thank you for being part of my community. And if that resonates with you just let me know. Yes. Okay. All right. So you procrastinate because of no funds. Somebody says there are plenty of people who don't procrastinate that don't have money and they use resourcefulness instead of resources. But we'll come back to that. Alright, so can't move. Yes, yes and yes. Wendy, thank you. Fear of success, Fear of failure. What about fear of disappointment? Fear of being embarrassed, fear of being ashamed, fear of being ridiculed, Fear of not looking good, Fear of disappointing yourself again, or a spouse or children, or significant other. If you had 100% confidence and certainty in what you were doing, wouldn't you take action? And the answer is yes for most people, unless it doesn't match up taking action and achieving success with what you feel you deserve to achieve. So this is where self esteem is. Self worth, confidence, certainty, knowledge and skills all play together. Because even if you know what to do, how to do it, when you should do it, and you don't take action, the question is why? Why? In spite of knowing what to do, in spite of the books you've read, in spite of the courses you've taken, in spite of the training that you've received from me and I'm sure many other amazing individuals, if you don't have a self worth set point. Self worth set point is the set point in your brain. Remember what do we do at Neuro gym? We help you with the mental and emotional and mindset piece of success in addition to how to. But if you don't have a set point that you deserve to achieve that level of success, guess what you will do? You will procrastinate not taking action. You will be in a state, okay, of disempowerment. How many of you know, okay, what it is that I'm talking about? And by the way, if you want to follow me, all right. If you want to get the PDF, okay. Of how to clear mind of the fear, all right, just type in yes right now in the chat one. Yes, just type it in the chat and you'll get a message right away to get this because I'm going through a lot of material that's in here that'll be valuable to you. Post the event and even during the event that we're doing right now. Alright, so if you think about procrastination as an effect, I procrastinate. But you use some of your brilliant brain, okay. To say why am I procrastinating? It's going to fall into one of those two camps. Self image, self Esteem or fear, which is then directly tied to self image, self esteem. People who succeed learn how to feel fear and do it anyway. They somehow learn to associate not doing what they need to do with more pain. Let me repeat that. They somehow associate not doing, not taking action with more pain than actually taking action and risking that they might fail. They might be embarrassed, they might be ashamed. So listen, any moment I might forget what I'm going to say right now, but I'm not afraid of that. At any moment I may mess up, but I'm not afraid of that. I used to many years ago, but because I've practiced enough to reduce my fight or flight response in my brain, which I'll show you how to do in just one minute and how to activate something known as the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the relax and respond part of my brain, which I'll show you how to do in just a moment. I was able to gain more confidence and certainty and overcome the fear. But also many, many years ago I felt like I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't good enough, I didn't deserve to achieve the success. Alright. And many of you know my story from reading my book Having it All or my other New York Times best selling book. The answer. But the key is to understand procrastination is an effect. And the question is what is an effect of what's the cause of it? Self worth, self esteem and fear of failing, fear of success, fear of disappointment, fear of being embarrassed, ashamed or ridiculed. All of the different types of fears. There are 50 different types of fears that either consciously or subconsciously cause you to procrastinate. So here's a question for you. What do you procrastinate most about? I want to see. Okay, I'm going to put on my 55 year old glasses in here. I want to see on the computer screen right now, what is the number one thing that you're procrastinating doing? Because I'm going to show you in just a second how to overcome that procrastination. And if you want this little PDF, just type in yes afterwards. All right, I just type in yes. But what's the number one that you are procrastinating doing right now? Okay, what's the number one thing? So I'm going to look at change my job. Thank you. John Evans. Hi there Judith. Unpacking your house. Okay, so you're procrastinating, unpacking your house, reaching out to cold market, going live on Facebook. I love it. So all of these fears are coming up. So if you want the PDF, just type in yes. Don't type in anything else. The system is set up only to respond to when you type in yes, Y, E, S. Okay. And you'll get this right away. And now I'm going to show. So Jerry, is exercise, going out and getting prospects. Tatiana going out and getting prospects. So fear of getting prospects. Actually fear of rejection. Right. So we're dealing with fear of rejections. Find the next job, Bill. Awesome. Working out in the mornings. Okay, so you're procrastinating all of these things. And so let's understand when fear is in the way or we associate more pain and discomfort in doing something than the benefit that we'll receive. Let me repeat. When you associate more pain because of doing something, then you do in the reward, you will not do what you need to do. You will procrastinate. So one of the little tricks I'm going to give you, about four or five little tricks, a whole bunch of them are in this PDF you can get just by typing in. Yes, but one of the tricks that you have to ask yourself is, what will I gain as a result of taking action? What will I gain? What is the reward that is bigger than my reason for not wanting to do it? Maybe somebody could write that down. What is my reward that is bigger than my reason for not doing it? That's step number one that you want to uncover. So you give yourself a reason why. When you give yourself a reason why the reward, you're actually going to activate the dopamine receptors and the dopamine release in the brain and the motivational circuits in the brain, the nucleus accumbens, the insula, that is a circuit in the brain that activates the motivational side of the brain. When you are focusing, whether it's consciously or non consciously, subconsciously on why you don't want to, you're actually turning on the fear circuit in the brain, the stress circuit in the brain. So your brain operates with circuits turning on, circuits turning off. So when you are consciously or even non consciously, all right, being made aware that you might be embarrassed, you might be ashamed, you might be ridiculed, you might fail, your sympathetic nervous system kicks on. The sympathetic nervous system in the brain is the, is the fight or flight or freeze response in the brain. So if you are procrastinating, chances are you're just frozen with subconscious or conscious fear of what might happen if you don't do what you need to do to the level you want to do. It in the other trigger that you want to know or the other circuit that you want to understand is there's something called the parasympathetic nervous system. Okay, and the parasympathetic nervous system is the relax and respond nervous system. So in the sympathetic, the fight, flight or freeze mechanism in the brain, you are going to procrastinate every single day, week and month. So how do you overcome this? How do you override this? Maybe I can ask some of the guests that we have that are on right now, what do you do to get out of your fight or flight response mechanism in your brain? What do you do? What have you used? Are you trying to like just fight your way through it or is there another technique that you're using? Let me just see some of your responses over here. All right, actually getting a chance to see our new set right now. All right, and what we've got over here. And so what do you use right now? Okay, action. Nicole says, awesome. Zodiva meditates. Gail self talk. Awesome, awesome, awesome. So a lot of you breath, breathing, meditation. Janet fractionalized. Smart, smart, smart. I know you've been on the program before. All right, by the way, if you're enjoying this, do me a favor, hit the share button and let's get more people to join us. We've still got about 14 minutes to go. Write down the next step. Listen to our inner sizes that we our programs. Luann says she uses sugar. So let me share with you a simple process. When you become aware of your procrastination, whether it's chronic or, you know, just once in a while, the first thing you want to do, alright, is move into a calm brain state. A calm brain state. One of the first inner sizes that we teach all of our clients is something many of you have heard before. And it's called take six. What is take six? It's take six, calm the circuits. So in the sympathetic response in the brain, which is usually what happens when we're procrastinating because we're fighting against something, then our heartbeat's gone up, our blood pressure has gone up. Everything that is supposed to be working in our favor is fighting us internally in here, biologically and neurologically. So the take six, calm the circuits inner size is you start off by taking six deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth in four, five second rhythm. So in through your nose, that's five and then out five. If you do that six times and if you need to do it nine times, great. But if you do that just six times. The first thing it does is it deactivates the fear response, the tension and stress that's happening in your brain that you feel in your body, that then creates the behavior or lack of the behavior. That's the first step, okay, of the brain part. Remember, the first step was I want you to write down why achieving or doing what you need to do is going to actually give you a bigger benefit than not doing it. But once you have that vision of why, then you take the six circuits or take six, calm the circuits inner size. And then what I want you to do is inner size number two I'll share with you today is called fix the focus. Fix the focus. Somebody type this down fix the focus. So whether you're aware of it or not, okay, your brain is focusing on all of the reasons why taking action may result in pain and discomfort. Let me repeat that. Whether you're aware of it or not, conscious or non conscious of it, your brain in the pattern of procrastination is fixated on the pain of taking action and possibly failing or succeeding and failing or not doing it to the best of your abilities and being embarrassed or ashamed because of something somebody might say or do. This is what differentiates the most successful people in the world from people who are achieving average results and not achieving their potential. Because everybody has fears. But it's not the fear that's your enemy, it's the focus that is holding you back. So the second inner size of fix the focus is you focus on the benefit and the benefit of the benefit of taking action. What will taking action, even a micro step towards that goal, what will a micro step do to your self confidence? Make you feel good? What will it do to your certainty? It'll show you that you're capable of doing it. What will it do to your self esteem? See, every time you allow the fear to hold you back, every time that you don't do what you know you should be doing, you strip away one more layer of your self esteem and your self worth. And the lower your self esteem and self worth goes, the more you're going to want to procrastinate. Because now you're dealing with a self image, okay, of somebody who knows he or she doesn't take action or he or she is afraid of taking action, or he or she procrastinates. And now you're creating a neural circuit, a pattern in the brain that over a year, three years, five years, 10 years, that becomes part of your default mode network how you operate and so the first thing you want to do, calm the circuits. See the benefit of taking action, even a little action. Fix your focus on how you will and why you will. And that leads to the third step. And by the way, if you want all these, the PDF is available to you. Just hit, just type in yes. All I need is the word yes in there and this will be sent to you via whatever mechanism my team set. So the third action, okay. Or the third thing you need to do is called action forward, right? So fix the focus on what you need to do. And the third aspect is action forward. When you consider yourself to be a procrastinator or you procrastinate, doing the things you know will help you achieve more success. There is something that BJ Fogg at Stanford University teaches and really has become famous for. It's called Tiny Habits. Tiny habits. So what's a tiny habit? A tiny habit is flossing one tooth. If you want to start flossing your teeth, Tiny habits is reading one paragraph. If you want to read more books, Tiny habits is going for a walk inside your apartment or home for one minute. If you want to start exercising, Tiny habits is doing one little action step forward to start building your neuromuscles. Somebody type in neuromuscles. And neuromuscles are the muscles of confidence, the muscles of certainty, the muscles of your character that allows you to move forward when you say to yourself, I want to move forward. All highly successful people learn how to take action steps to move forward. Even the tiniest action set from a brain perspective builds your neuro muscles. Every positive action you take, every positive thought you take builds your confidence, your certainty, your self esteem and your self image. Every time you visualize and see yourself achieving your goal, you activate the neural circuits. Every time you share that win with one of your friends or here in the neurogym or in the Facebook Live community, okay, you're actually releasing oxytocin, which creates an even bigger neural circuit and bond in your brain that'll cause you to want to take more action. So you calm the circuits, you focus on what you want to achieve, you fix the focus on the next action step and then you take an action forward. It's really simple. Don't look at, you know, climbing Mount Everest if you haven't been training to climb the local mountains. So take some small things. Some small wins lead to a string of small wins, and a string of small wins lead to neural pathways and circuits in the brain that show you that no matter what you have not done in the past, no matter how many times you haven't focused in the past, no matter what has not worked in the past, you can take action. The reason this is so important, the reason I started Neurogym was to really focus on what are the, the mindset or mental or the emotional obstacles that really hold people back from achieving the success they want. When we have all the how, we know how to lose weight and keep it off, we know how to make more money, we know how to have a great relationship, we know how to, you know, move forward in our career, we know how to build a business successfully, we know all the how. I wanted to get into what's happening in here when I meet people like you all over the world that have so much potential. But you're not taking action. You're being paralyzed by self esteem or self worth that's lower than it needs to be. And you're paralyzed by fear, which is nothing more than a circuit in the brain. And these are just some of the simple solutions that we teach in all of our programs. And I'm sharing some of them with you here. And if you want just the PDF of most of what I've talked about, I've got it right here for you. Just type in yes in your chat box on the Facebook live and we'll send you a link to it. You don't even have to do anything other than that. So let me ask you a question. If. Let me rephrase that. When you Release, let's say 50% of your procrastination, will you be more productive? Will you achieve more success? Will you let go of of the things you know you need to let go of. A lot of times there are things that are holding us down and we procrastinate letting them go as much as there are things that are in front of us that we just need to move towards. So how many of you. All right, how many of you. And I'm going to put my glass on so I could read. How many of you are finding this useful? How many of you are finding this useful? And if you're liking this, do me a favor. We have 627 people on live right now. How many of you are willing to share this so we could teach this to other people around the world? Just hit the share button and if you like this, give me a little love. Okay? Let me know how you're enjoying this. Every Tuesday I pick a topic that I think will help you break free from any of the mental or emotional obstacles that hold you back. But I like to also teach strategies and tactics. You know, how to do something is just as important as what you need to do. So if you're enjoying this, hit the share button and let's get more people to this. If you want a copy, some of you are asking, how do you get this? Just hit yes. Just hit yes or not hit yes, but type in yes in the chat. Okay? Very useful. Yeah. Procrastination is the killer of dreams. Would have, could have, should have, wanted to, but didn't. Alright, so I can share with you that the key is awareness. So you have to become aware. In my book Having it all, which I know many of you have read, I learned an exercise. Not an inner size, but I learned an exercise. My new book, Inner Size is going to come out in October. And inner size is the new science to unlock your brain's power, your hidden power. Your brain's hidden power. The new science. Unlock your brain's hidden power. But an exercise that I learned is called True North. And what's true north? True north is really understanding why you're achieving the results you're achieving. Why aren't you achieving the results that you want to achieve? Why are you procrastinating? Why don't you have money? Why don't you have the plan to achieve your goals and dreams? You have to get beyond your circumstances. You got to get to the truth and then ask yourself a question. And many of you have heard me say this for the last 15 years. If you're interested, you'll do what's convenient. But if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes. I love to work with people who are committed to achieving their goals and dreams. My expertise is the inner game, the neuroscience of, of behavior and procrastination and doubts and fears, anxieties and all of the stuff that holds people back. But I also combine that with how to. How do you achieve the success? So on these sessions, you know, we give you a little bit of what, why, how, and I do these every Tuesday for about 30 minutes just to be able to share stuff with you. So if you've enjoyed this, let me know. And if you want a copy of this, just type yes in the chat. And do me a favor, if you don't mind, share this with your friends and you know, help me. Because the more people that we have here, the more I want to keep doing these, the more I take content from some of our programs, whether it's our winning Game of Money program or winning the game of fear program, Winning the game of procrastination or weight loss or winning the game of business. We have a bunch of amazing programs to help people retrain their brains, but also give them the strategies and tactics to achieve their goals and dreams. Just out of curiosity, how many of you that are watching right now are actually clients of Neurogym? How many of you are clients of Neurogym? Let me see. And what do you think? How are you enjoying this? Mavic? Yes. Go for the truth. Go deep. How many of you are clients of Neurogym? Let's see. Awesome, awesome, awesome. It takes a couple seconds for Facebook to load. There's a little delay. I think we're coming to a time where everything will be in real time. Awesome. So it's great to see many of you in here that are clients of Neurogym. Next week will be live again. 9:00 clock San Diego time, 12:00 clock New York time. Don't ask me what time that is. Where you are. Be resourceful even if you don't have the resources. Google it. And I look forward to continuing the friendship. Help me spread the word. Share this video with others. Share your thoughts with me and if you want the PDF, just type in yes. No other words, just yes and you'll get a link to this right away. Technology is great. Have an awesome day. Make sure that you pay attention to if you're procrastinating and now you know why and you know a few steps on how to overcome it. Have an awesome, awesome, awesome week. And day or night, wherever you are in the world, I appreciate you so much. I love being friends here on Facebook. I read your comments, by the way. After every session I go back and read your comments and like a whole bunch of them and so leave me a comment for me to read. Have an awesome, awesome day. And thank you. Hit the share button when we're done.