Changing Your Body Image Story For Greater Health, Wellness, and Happiness - John Assaraf

Hey there. Great day to you. John Assraf coming to you live from San Diego for my Achieve Even More program. Every Tuesday morning I go live to help you understand a little bit more about your brain, how it works. What can you do to strengthen your mindset and achieve more of your goals faster and easier than ever before? If you can hear me and see me, please say hello. Tell me who you are and where you are from so I can say hello back to you. We're going to be talking about rewriting your body image story so that you can achieve greater health, more wellness and happiness. And let me know if you want that hit the like or the love button. Let me know that you can hear me and see me, ok? Sometimes there are tech challenges. Bohdan. Good morning, my friend. I love that you're always learning and growing. So how do you rewrite your body image right story? And what the hell is a body image story? And thank you for letting me know that the sound is good. A lot of times people, you know, early on in the year, they're focusing on health, losing weight. It's interesting when psychologists look at what are New Year's resolutions For many people, a lot of times it's around losing weight, getting healthier, having more energy, making more money, getting out of debt, stopping something or starting something. And one of the, you know, the things that I'm always fascinated by, you know, in all of the behavioral psychology research that we do here at Neurogym is, is goals versus reality, people. We all have goals and dreams. We all have this image of what we would like to see in our lives, how we want to feel, how we want to look, how we want to be perceived, how we want others to treat us. And self image and body image formulates a really important part of our self confidence. Would you agree with that? If you agree with that, hit the like or the love button. Now, I'm not saying that it's everything. Many years ago, maybe three, four years ago, a good friend of mine, Andy, I'll just say Andy and I were talking about body image and self image and he was overweight, not healthy. Unfortunately, he passed away last year. But he says, john, you know what? I'm sick and tired, he said to me of walking by the mirror in my bathroom and not liking what I saw in the morning as I was getting out of the shower. So he had a disempowering self image of himself and body image of himself. And a lot of the research around body image that affects our self image is we have this idea in our heads of what we want our body to look like because then that would make us feel better about ourselves. So does that make sense? Do you agree that body image is something that really affects our self esteem in a lot of cases, maybe our confidence level, Maybe you know how attractive we feel or not. Many of you know this and a lot of you don't. Ten years ago I was 243 pounds with over 30% body fat. You may look at me now and go wow, what the hell happened? I was borderline diabetic, I was eating way too much sugar, I didn't have energy, I wasn't sleeping well, high blood pressure and I didn't like the image that I saw in the mirror when I was would shower and look in the mirror. Now that may be too personal for you, but I started doing a lot of research on body image. You can probably tell I weigh 197 pounds now. I released 40 pounds just about of weight and fat, more muscle, more energy, better sleep, et cetera. Now the reason I share this with you is I know a lot about the science of weight loss, the neuroscience of what happens in the brain around body image, self image, fat set points, addictions to foods or binge eating, etc. And there's a lot of research now that shows that your body image is a direct reflection of the internal image that you have of yourself that you've accumulated over whether it's a year, three years, five years, seven years. And by the way, I'm going to be going through Changing your body image story. Many of you were on one of my recent trainings where I did Change youe Money story. Today we're doing Change youe Body Image story. I'm going to be going through the little workbook that we have on what your body image is. So if you want to copy this, my team will put a link for you so you can get that. Here's I want to ask you a question and obviously you're on here because you're interested in this topic. Do you have any disempowering beliefs about your body image, how your body looks? If it is, tell me what is your body image like, what's one belief? What's one disempowering belief that you have around your body image? Hold on, my desk is trying to to go down. I don't know why not sure why. Let me raise it back up and close it. So tell me, what is your body image? What is negative belief you have about your body right now? Are you overweight? Are you too fat? Are you too skinny? What is it and how is it affecting you? Because I'm going to share with you that the internal image, the neural network, the pattern that exists in your brain is driving all of your expectations, it's driving your perspectives, it's driving your behaviors. And more importantly, it is the. I call it the fat set point thermostat and the weight set point thermostat that is set. Do you agree with that? All right, So, Maria, I'm sick all the time. Yeah. If you have that image and if you reinforce that belief, guess what happens? Your beliefs create your reality. Right. So let's see. I'm heavy and sluggish. Thank you for being honest. Too short. Okay. Comparison is my enemy. Yeah, mine too. And so it's a very personal question. I know. And that's why I start off by sharing with you. I know what it's like to be overweight. You know, I was in the category of obese. I was 5% above the line for men for being obese. Now I changed that because I wanted to. I wanted to feel better energetically, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I wanted to feel better. And I started. I'm telling you, I started with changing my body image story and my beliefs. And so if this is for you, great. If this is not for you, maybe today's not the right session to be on. But here's what happens. Whenever we have an internal body image of ourself, we have a conscious one and a subconscious one. And so let's say that you look at yourself in the mirror or you just think about what is my body image of myself? That's our reality. Right? That's our reality. We have individuals who are heavy and maybe fat or obese, and they see themselves as being skinny, and that's okay. Or lean or in really good shape. And there's other people who are skinny that hidden in the recesses of their subconscious mind, they actually see themselves as fat. And we see this all the time with some supermodels who are rail thin, but in their own mind, they think that they're fat. So what happens is whatever hidden self image we have of ourselves, that is what drives the behaviors. So whatever self image we have of ourselves at the subconscious level formulates the beliefs we have of ourselves, and the beliefs drive the behavior. Hello there to my friend Jeffrey Howard. Right. And so the question is, how do you rewrite? How do you change your body image story and everything that goes with it? Right. So there's the self image, the beliefs that support that self image. Then there's the behaviors that reinforce it all. Does that make sense? If that makes sense, hit the like or love button on there so that I've got some feedback loose from you to me. And then I'm going to have you go through the first, the first part of this is, what are the beliefs that form the premise of your current body image story? So I want you to write down as many beliefs as you can think of. Okay? Write down as many. Believe. I believe, okay, that I'm overweight. I believe. That my belly's fat. I believe. I believe. I believe. Let's get the beliefs out of your consciousness and onto a piece of paper so you can see them. And here's what I can share with you. There are two types of beliefs, okay? Number one is called an explicit belief, and number two is called an implicit belief. So an explicit belief is a belief that you can declare that you can talk about. I believe this. But an implicit belief is what's really happening at the subconscious mind. And the subconscious mind is what's going to drive all of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviors over a longer period of time. We can override our subconscious through willpower and persistence. Go on a diet, start exercising, sign up for the gym. But if we don't reprogram the subconscious implicit beliefs and self image, then the implicit beliefs and self image will override the conscious beliefs. It'll override the conscious vision, goals, or desires that we have. And so you have to reprogram, recondition, retrain that subconscious pattern in order for it to match the new belief that you have. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Let me tell you something. Many of you know that, you know, my passion is the neuroscience and the neuropsychology of all this, which means that we're studying neural circuits. You know, what circuits turn on, motivational circuits, what circuits turn off, and why. What is driving your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors? So as opposed to just think about, here's my thoughts, emotions, behaviors, like what's causing you to start and stop, what's causing yo yo diet, what's causing, you know, eating healthy for one or two or three days or one or two or three weeks, but then reverting back to all your old habits, right? And so the real question that you should be asking us is if you want to change the result, your body image, how you look, how you feel, what you eat, what you do, the amount of exercise or movement you get or don't get, you have to go to the operating system that is beneath, okay, your level of consciousness. But you can access it through conscious decision making and reprogramming some of your subconscious mind. So the first phase of this is, let's take what's conscious and unconscious and put it on a sheet of paper. All right? And then the other part is, the second page of this, right? Is what do you believe to be true about your body? Is it easy to eat? And that should be healthy? Sorry, I just saw that. Is it easy to eat healthy? Is it easier, hard to release weight and keep it off? Is beauty whatever? Your definition of beauty is only reserved for certain types of people. Do you criticize your body or do you love it? Now, I'm really big on radical honesty and transparency with myself and others. Radical honesty and transparency. Now, the key here, I just want to make sure that we get one thing right. I don't give a shit on what you see on television and what you see in magazines or what people's expectations are. Here's the only thing I care about. Do you feel good in your skin? Do you enjoy? Do you appreciate who you are? Do you appreciate how you look and how you feel? Regardless of what anybody else says or expects, the number one thing that you should be focused on, do I feel good? Because when you feel good, other people around you feel good. And when they feel good, you are having this impact on people. And so I have some very, very specific rituals for me to feel good about myself. So what I want you to do is be aware. First. As many of you know, in the world of psychology, in the world of neuropsychology, awareness is what gives you choice and your ability to respond. Awareness is what gives you choice. Choice is what gives you the ability to respond and to be free. In the world that I play in, when you lack awareness, you're operating automatically from a set subconscious beliefs and patterns that drive automatic reactions. Now, reactions are happening at the subconscious levels. Responding happens at the conscious level. So the key to the whole process, the beginning of the whole process, is radical transparency and honesty. First awareness, and then just choice. So next part of this is, can you remember what event or events helped you acquire these beliefs about your body or image? Was it trauma when you were a child? Was it circumstances that just got out of hand? You were a father, a mother. You got busy. You just let it get out of hand. You didn't have time to really focus on your health. Some of you know this, but when I was in my early 20s, I developed severe ulcerative colitis. And I got super, super unhealthy. I was taking 25 pills a day. I was doing cortisone enemas a day. I was going to the hospital once a month for a sigmoidoscopy to see what was going on in my colon. And that was my first, I guess, experience with dis ease disease. And then I used at the time, visualization, meditation, affirmations, proper health, proper nutrition, mindfulness and exercise to get really, really healthy. And then in my 40s, I was drinking way too much wine, I was eating too much sugar. I was really being unhealthy, even though I was working out and doing some of the things that were necessary. My weight went from 195 to 200 to 205 to 215 to 225 to 235 to 238 at the peak before I said, enough is enough. I don't like how I look. I'm tired all the time, I don't have energy and I'm approaching my 50th birthday. And one of my doctors said, john, you're either going to pay. He says, you're either going to make time for your health or your illness will make time for you. Let me repeat, you're either going to make time for your health or your illness will make time for you. And at that time, I was 48 years old. I said, okay, that's it. I am going to find out everything that I can about getting rid of the fact that I hated on my body, getting more energy, being the dad that I could be, being the husband that I could be, etc. And so at 48, I said, I am going to get into the best shape of my adult life by the time I am 50. And over the two year period of time from 48 to 50, I got down to the weight that I am at now. Now you may think, well, how did you do that? And the answer was, I worked on the inner game first while I decided to change my diet, while I upgraded my exercise routine on a daily basis. But I made a decision to change my physique and my energy and my health for my life, not as a result of going on a diet or exercising. I wanted a better, healthy life so that I can enjoy my wife, my children, travel the world so I can contribute more, which is one of my highest values in my life, right? So when I started to look into what causes people and I lost and gained over 250 pounds, it was just 15, 20, 30 pounds at a time. And no matter what I tried, I lost weight, gained it back, lost weight, gained it back, lost weight, gained it back. Felt great, felt shitty, felt great, felt shitty, felt great, felt shitty. I said, holy max macro. I'm doing all of the external stuff, but not any of the internal stuff. And so what you want to take a look at, right, is find any correlations or connections between the original formation of your beliefs around your current body image story and the perspective you now hold and the actions you take or don't take. So there's some stuff that you can fill out on these documents. And then here is the final document that I want you to fill out is, you know, you fill out over here, right? What is your old belief and reference? Is it positively serving you? Is it negatively serving you? And then here is the key. I want you to invest 30 minutes of your time, 30 minutes of your time to write out a new story. And so a new story would be as simple, okay. As saying this. I am so happy and grateful for the fact that I now weigh X number of pounds. Let me show you something that all of my clients get access to in our programs. Let me go to my health document. Just give me one second. I didn't get this ready. All right, so if you take a look at this document, my top goals for 2020. This, by the way, is from my exceptional life blueprint that many of our clients, some of you are on here, get access to with a training on how to do that. But this is my story for my health. I have an abundance of physical and mental energy and feel and look great. I'm the healthiest I've ever been. Being spiritually grounded, emotionally centered, mentally focused, and totally healthy and happy are my highest priorities. I now weigh 195 to 198 pounds with less than 12% body fat. I am consistently in a peak performance state of flow, creativity and productivity. My blood work is perfect and I now have an abundance of energy, focus and peace of mind. I sleep deeply and soundly, feel well rested and energized every day. Now, I have been reading the same document for years and years and years and years. I tweak it a little bit. But this is my new right health story. This is my new body image story. Now, before you see the way I look and feel now, which is a 10, I didn't look and feel this way, but I created the story first. I embedded it into my subconscious mind and then the story created me. The story becomes your identity, your identity Sets up your values, your beliefs, your perspectives, your set points, your expectations, which sets up your behaviors. Does that make sense to you? Please tell me whether that makes sense to you. A lot of people look at their current results of their body image, how they look, how they feel, how fat they are or skinny they are. And then they keep repeating that pattern over and over and over again. Now, what you are looking at not a result of today. It's a result of what you did or didn't do in the past. So why not cognitively prime train your brain to have a new focus, new beliefs, a new story, and then ask yourself, what do I need to do in order to make this story and belief and vision my reality? What diet do I need to be on? What exercise program do I need to be on consistently? Not for a reason or a season? What story do I want to be true in 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 180 days, and for the rest of my life? See, the mistake most people make is they look at the current results and that reinforces all of their current beliefs, habits, perspectives, identity, and story, which then recreates more of the same. Why not start with a new story that may not be true right now, then train your brain to make that story a reality through your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviors. Does that make sense? All right, so thank you, Norlin. Right. So thank you, Norman and Hala and Bracken. All right, if that makes sense, Leave me a little comment. By the way, if you think this is an important topic, share this. All right, this isn't about your weight, okay? It's about mindset and emotional control. It's about you having confidence and certainty in your ability to control your life, to manage your thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. It's the inner game that causes the outer world of results. Learn about the inner game. Manage your thoughts and your emotions and your beliefs, and then you will master them. And when you master them, you master your life. All right? So if you want a copy of this, there's a link below. We offer that as free. I always invite you to join any of our programs. We have some amazing programs that nourish them to strengthen your mindset and upgrade your mental and emotional skills. You achieve your goals faster and easier than ever before. If you like this, share this. All right, let me see. I've got an extra minute or two today to answer any questions, so I'll say hello for you. If you have a question, you can ask me in the chat over here. So, hi, Ayelet. Hi, Peter. Hi there. Thomas and Ramya and Barti and Joe. Hi there, Patricia. Nice to have you on. Yes. Please share this. Thank you, Jolanta. All right, so the story to be true is the story of reality. We believe in it by thoughts and emotions and behaviors. You have to match your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Think of it this way. You know, you use your head for choosing what you want in imagination. You choose your heart to connect with, why you want to achieve it. And you use your gut, the intelligence in your gut, to be able to direct you in the right direction. All right, Moreno, how do you stay consistent? Great, great question. So you create systems and processes to stay consistent. So initially, when I knew that I needed some help, I hired a trainer to come to my home to help me maintain the diet, the exercise, etc. So I created the environment with my wife, my children, my family, and I hired a trainer. You can have an accountability partner, whether it's your children, a friend, a brother or a sister. So you create processes and systems and an environment around you to be able to do that. Dijan. Intermittent fasting is awesome and amazing. I'm actually the beginning week of an intermittent fast when I am reducing my total caloric intake. I do that probably three times a week. I do intermittent fast where I keep my eating window to about six hours. And so I eat all of my meals in six hours or eight or 10. So there's a variety of different intermittent fasts you can do. I do a week long, low calorie intermittent fast two to three times a year. All the research suggests that it activates stem cell growth, lowers low density lipoproteins in the body, moves you into ketone burning instead of fat burn, I'm sorry, sugar burning for energy, which is a totally different system that the brain uses for energy. And your body is also very, very big intermittent fasting. So that's for you, Dijon. Alrighty. So let me see. How do you overcome or work around others who may not be supportive in your desire to change? So, Joanne, I let them be what they want to be, and I just focus on what I want to be and putting the systems and processes in, in place for me. And so I put a shield around myself, around negative people, people that don't support my dreams and goals or want to sink my boat. I eliminate them from my environment as much as possible. If they happen to be a family member, I love them from afar. I want people who support my goals, my dreams, and my vision and my purpose. All right, all right, let's see. Let's see. Hi there, Hoshe. Does this help you? Okay. We talked about the inner game and the outer game today. And so for those of you who missed some of this, watch the replay. As soon as I'm done, you watch the replay, Moreno. So I've got a few different books. My newest book is called Inner Size the new science to unlock your brain's hidden power. And I have eight brain training audios that go with it. Go to ignitemybrain.com can somebody type in ignitemybrain.com you can get my book Inner Size. My other book is called having it All New York Times best selling books is about setting goals, achieving goals, using quantum laws to achieve your goals. And then I have my book, my book the answer. All of them are available on Amazon. But what you want to do, if you buy the book Inner Size, you get some brain training audios that we Normally sell for $197. So go to ignitemybrain.com if somebody could type that in, that would be great. Hi there, Maria McNeil. Thank you, Dijon. I appreciate that, Elizabeth. Good day. All right. And if you live with them, you just have to focus, you know, on you. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself. The only thing you can do is focus on creating the environment for you. Okay? And that's what you can do. And I think my team just put a link in there or Safiqa. Hello there, young lady. Adish. You're welcome. Please share this. If you like my work, share this. Every Tuesday morning I do my achieve even more show. I pick a topic that I think will help you with the latest neuroscience and neuropsychology on how to go deeper than the surface. Listen, if you want to succeed in life, go deeper than the surface. All right? There's a lot of fun on the surface, but go deeper to understand what's really causing my results. Right? And the answer is your thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations and behaviors. Your knowledge and skill skills. You know, your emotions drive your behaviors as well. Okay? So if you want a copy of that, there's a link below. If you want a copy of my book Inner Size, you need to buy it on Amazon or go to ignitemybrain.com so you can see all about it. Have a great day. See you next week. Please share this. I appreciate you. My goal is to help you strengthen your mindset and your emotional skills so you achieve your goals and dreams faster and easier. Not fast and easy. I'm all about fast and easy. But faster and easier than ever before. When you win the inner game, you win the outer game. Arivadechi, how about a high five today? Boom Boom. Have a great day. I appreciate you and thank you for sharing.