Destiny Training Interview with Scoot DeMoulin

People learn best when they don't know they're learning. The two most powerful words in communication and in sales and in marketing and messaging are you. And your. How you say it's really critical. What's even more important is the syntax with which you say it.

Hey, friends. John Assaraf here. And I've got a very, very special guest with me today and his name is Scott Demola. He's the CEO of Destiny Training. And the reason he's such a special guest is not only have we been friends for, I guess over 20 years, but many years ago when I was part of buildingbamboo.com, i brought Scott on board as my secret weapon to train all of our salespeople on their sales skills, communication skills, platform skills. And we had hired about 150 salespeople in a very short period of time. And he was unbelievable in helping them really master their communications, master their presence so they can make more sales. And what I can share with you is he understands communication and language patterns to connect with people's hearts and minds and their guts better than anyone I know. So I invited him to do this little training with me. And for 15 of you lucky neuro gym clients, you're going to get a chance to attend his workshop in Las Vegas, September 10th, 11th and 12th. And I have purchased 15 tickets for the people who sign up fast. All you have to do is get yourself to Las Vegas and you'll understand in a moment why you'll want to be the first to click on the button to claim your scholarship to winning big with integrity workshop blow your mind. So, Scott, welcome. Thanks for doing this, buddy.

Donnie, thanks so much. It's good to play with you again. And I so appreciate your generosity and offering to your community the opportunity for people to get exposed to, you know, life, life changing communication opportunities. Right? I love it. Yeah.

When you and I, you know, we're in Vegas together just a few months ago and you were telling me what you're doing now and how you're helping small business owners and employees that are in front of the stage. And I just said, let me interview you and let me buy a bunch of tickets for some of our members who will get a chance to learn from you. I've certainly learned a ton over the years from you and we've worked many capacities together. So let's talk about success and maybe failure and specifically around communications. If you're a business owner, I know you talk a lot about most people just don't have the right communication Skills and they lose so many opportunities. Let's talk a bit about that for a moment.

Yeah, Johnny. It's funny. We live in our training centers in Las Vegas, and it's interesting because people enter into business the same way they enter Las Vegas. They run to the tables and they have a positive expectation they're going to win, but they often don't prepare themselves to win. And the truth is, you have actually better odds of success of putting your money on red or black and roulette than you do in succeeding in business. Love it. And people don't realize that 90% of your success in business is directly related to your communications. You know only so well at Neurogym that your internal communications is first and foremost. Then it's with your relationships, the people you work with, your organization, and then how you market and message to your marketplace and then humanity as a whole. And it's really interesting because Google did a study in 2013 called Project Oxygen, and they wanted to find out what were the skills and attributes of success of the most their best employees, their best thought leaders, their best managers and leadership people. And what they found shocked them. You know, they're a technology company, and of the eight things they measured, the one thing they thought would stand out would be STEM skills. That's science, technology, engineering, and math. And what they found out that when they interviewed those people, they found out that STEM actually was last on a scale of 1 to 8 of the skills they needed to have to succeed at Google. And what they discovered was that solving and coaching and oddly enough, communication skills was the leading number or the leading reason why people succeeded in business. So unless you want, if you want to mitigate your risk in business, learn how to effectively communicate.

I love it. And by the way, Scott, you may want to take a look at the camera versus me on your screen. I tend to look at the person as well on the screen, but you got to look in the camera, like right there. That's where you see your eyes. I agree with you. And I know if we're in business, we've got to sell. And selling is doing something for somebody, not something to somebody. But I also know that you've got to build trust and rapport first.

Absolutely.

Communication is one of the ways to do that. I've got a few questions I want to make sure that you and I talked about. Selling is about leadership, and selling is about elevating your ability to. To effectively connect with another human being. Talk to us a little bit about how can somebody who's Watching right now, whether they decide to claim one of the tickets or not that we have for them only 15. How can they elevate their abilities and skills right now? Give us one or two tips.

Well, first of all, you know, there's a reason why we sell. And people have a negative connotation to that often. And if you take away that, if we ask people what is the product that you sell, they'll tell us the service, coaching, consulting, or the widget that they make or the product that they develop. And the truth is, the product of your business is not your product. What you sell or the success of your sales is dependent on the feeling that your client or prospect has with you and your business. And it's so important that you understand how to, to get to that feeling. And you and I have a mutual friend called Stephen, Mr. Covey, who wrote the Speed of Trust, and you just mentioned trust. Trust is 40% of your success in selling or communicating or negotiating. Warren Buffett can go in and in a handshake, he can close a deal in 30 days. Where other companies, they bring in their lawyers and they fight and negotiate and they go back and forth. So if you can establish trust, and that's it's more about them and not about you. If you can establish trust, the sale or the communication or the details of the sale are easy to get over. Without trust, you're hitting your head against the wall.

Love it. So are there a couple of techniques people can use to gain more trust other than being truthful and, you know, et cetera?

Yeah, we have a metaphor. You know, when you and I were talking, it's not just being a business owner, but being a thought leader and also a powerful community communicator. So we use something called gems. And I coined this phrase because through games, through exercises, through metaphors, through stories, people learn best when they don't know they're learning. And unfortunately, most people, when they get in front of the room or they get in front of their audience or their employees, they get in front of and say, you know, let me tell you a little bit about myself. And they start with I, I, I, me, me, me, or mine. And since you love brain science, John, I'll tell you that new technology reveals, the studies reveal that when you use the words I, me, or mine, that's a stronger predicator for mortality from heart disease than blood pressure or cholesterol levels. Now, if you're not saying, wow, you need to pay real close attention to that because the two most powerful words in communication and in sales and in marketing and messaging are are you and your. So you want to make it about them and not about I, me, what have I accomplished or what, you know, what is my product? Make it about them. Make it you or your talk second and third person, not first person.

Love that. Great, great little tip. Let me go to another one here that I've got. So I learned, I don't know, many, many years ago when I was building ReMax of Indiana, you know how to get in front of an audience and speak and present. Well, there's a huge difference between presenting and learning how to persuade. Talk to me a little bit about the differences that you find when people come into your workshop and you know, you have them, you know, maybe share a little bit about their business or their product or their service and they're presenting it versus persuading it. What are the subtle differences that you teach people how to do?

There's a couple great ones. John, great question, because we do want to shift. Presenting is the verbal vomit. It's talking about the facts, the features, the benefits, the accolades about your services, your products, etc. And most people. Well, let me shift, Let me back up a little bit. Finish this sentence for me. It's not what you say, it's how you say it, how you say it. So most people haven't even learned that yet. But there's one ingredient that most people don't learn. It's important what you say, but it doesn't land unless you say it in a way that's congruent and people receive it. So how you say it's really critical. What's even more important is the syntax with which you say it. So what I mean by that is most people, when they meet someone or they go to a networking event and meet a new client or prospect, they lead with the solution. They say, hey, listen, let me tell you about the features or benefits of my product. What you want to start with is you want to create an appetite for your product or service even before you talk about it. And the way you do that is to share with them the problem they either have or they think they have, or they don't know they have yet. So if you share the problem first, now they're more hungry for the solution. So I say there is no light without the darkness. So if you can, you know, another way of saying it is an undisturbed prospect will not buy. So you want to agitate them a little bit, not irritate them, but you want to get them to get associated to the unfounded fear of not changing. So the other way is this is that you want to educate, not sell. You've heard the saying many times that people will pay more for an expert than they will for a salesperson. So if you can educate and teach and give them value, they perceive or position you differently than someone who's trying to sell them something. And the next and last one is, I call it ask, don't tell. If you want to engage with your audience, if you want to engage with your marketplace and your messaging, you don't want to tell people, you don't want to give statements. You want to engage them through questioning techniques. So whether it's test closes or whether you change a statement to, you know, our products really great because of xyz, you would say something. Can you see how this product might benefit you in this area? So if you ask, you're going to engage because people have to respond psychologically. They have to pay more attention and they lean in and listen as opposed to resist being presented to, pitched or sold.

Love it. I can't tell you enough. I learned how to sell professionally when I was 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. And I invested in understand, understanding myself, my skills. I understood how to frame things in the way that would engage people, how to answer objections, how to ask questions. And I learned how to persuade instead of present and the art of persuasion. And Scott talked about this before, and I'm going to relate everything back to the brain. The brain is developed in three layers. The reptilian or instinctual brain, the limbic system, which is the emotional brain, then the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking brain. And when you understand how to activate the most important part of the brain, first, the reptilian or instinctual brain, that then sends a message to the emotional brain that then gets the logical brain to think. That is persuasion. When you deliver your product or service or solution to the thinking brain, you are going to fail in sales more than you will succeed. And so understanding what's the process of communicating to somebody's brilliant brain and their heart and their gut is what creates trust and rapport. But even more than that, it's engagement to move forward and find out more. And that is a skill, just like learning how to solve a Rubik's. Rubik's Cube is a skill. Selling done right is doing something for somebody that is a skill. And either you've honed your skills or you haven't. And if you have a business, pay close attention if you don't know how to sell, you're going to have very skinny children because you won't be able to feed them. I'm just saying that selling is really a science with heart. And that's one of the things I love, love, love about Scott and his programs is there's so much heart in it and technique that works to help more people enjoy and love your product or service. And I mentioned before, there's going to be a link on this page. I've gotten 15 scholarships to clients of Neurogym only you have to qualify to get it. And there'll be a link below. Click on it if you want it. If you have a business, you're doing well and you want to get better. This is a program that used to sell. It's a live training in Las Vegas, September 10th, 11th and 12th. It's a program that Scott used to charge $3,500 for. He reduced it to, I think it's 495. I bought 15 tickets from him just for Neurogen members. So click on the link, fill in the application and. And one of the team members at Destiny Training will get back to you. And if you qualify, get to Vegas and learn this stuff. Scott, people who are in selling positions, whether it's on the phone or even face to face, a lot of people have this fear of public speaking, fear of telephone calling, fear of networking with somebody you know at a networking event, because that's just maybe not their natural skill to have in practice. How do you help people recognize that and then overcome it?

Yeah, John, great, great, great question. Because in today's day and age of technology, it's so easy to look good. The question is, how do you be good? And we want to make sure that you not only have a great photo that you took on your iPhone, you put on your Facebook page, but you also can deliver on that. And one of the most leveraged ways to deliver is obviously effective communications. One of the most leveraged ways to grow your business is to, you know, the one to many approach. It's easy to sit down one on one. And we teach people how to persuade with their ears, how to ask better questions and spend 80% of your time listening. As you know, the easiest way to overcome fear, quite honestly, is this. If you look up fear in the dictionary, fear means that you're about to do something you don't feel prepared for. So if you master a few specific strategies on how to be more effective in a group and you have a mind map that has chunks or modules that you're familiar with. It's so easy to be comfortable. But you're right, most people are afraid of it. I think there was a great joke one time from Jerry Seinfeld who said that people are so afraid of public speaking, they're more afraid of speaking in public than of dying. And that means that if you go to a funeral, that people would rather where they'd rather be in the casket than delivering the eulogy. That's how much their fear dictates to them. But as you and I both know, again, it's not about looking good, it's not about sounding good, it's about being good. And sometimes when people get in front of an audience or when they get ready to talk about their business, their product to a group, which is a leveraged one to many approach, they freeze, they get fearful. And the reason they do is because they're more focused on themselves. They're going on record, they're saying, did I say that correctly? Do I sound okay? Do I look okay? And we set them up to overcome that. Because once you understand the anatomy of the speech, once you understand how to build rapport from the stage, once you understand how to position yourself next, when you understand how to ask pain inducing questions, that gets people off an unfounded fear of not changing their lifestyle, their business or purchasing techniques, then how to solve that problem with the solution and then what's your call to action that doesn't come across as salesy or pushy, but invites them to participate and has them qualify, as opposed to, you know, anybody who raises their hand wants one. So if you prepare yourself, if you understand the blueprints or the anatomy of a presentation, if you understand, you know, how to do an effective lunch and learn. I'll give you a great example. We had a client who was a painting contractor. Now, how can a painting contractor use speaking skills to grow their business? They were about a $2 million business. They were right there in San Diego, by the way, John, and they were doing about $2.2 million in business. And they were going to pitch their service to homeowners associations to paint their multifamily complexes, condos, apartments and so forth. And what's interesting is that they were getting about one in six HOA boards inviting them in to do a presentation. And they were only closing a very small percentage. So we work with them not on selling, but on educating. So we shifted to who's their ideal client. And understanding that first, it's not the HOA board, it's actually the property management company that brings them or invites them to the table to give a presentation to get the business. And what's interesting is that we taught them not to just bring in free lunch and pitch themselves, but to educate the home or the property managers. And what we did was, what they did was they taught them the five most common complaints that property managers get from homeowners associations. So the timeliness of their communication, not vetting contractors and so forth. And as a result we shifted their positioning from pitching their services or selling painting services to a position of an expert or authority where now all of a sudden the property managers were bringing them, inviting them into two out of three presentations and they were closing well over 50% as a result of their communication skills. The gentleman who did this, his highest close, if you will, was about 320,000 prior to learning this process. Two months later he calls me as he's going through this, he says, Scott, I just closed a program for a project for 720,000. A couple weeks later, I just closed a deal for 920,000. A couple weeks later, 1.4 million. And now they're a seven and a half million dollar company. They didn't change how they paint. They changed from presenting what they do to persuading, enrolling their clients and changing their positioning from a salesperson to an authority and an expert. And as a result, they got invited in to do way more projects. So that's how it can serve any business, even a blue collar business.

Love it. On that note, who is this training for? So if you're watching right now, pay close attention. Let's make sure this is for you. Don't apply if this is not for you. I've only got 15 tickets that we bought, so don't use up a ticket if it's not for you. So who is this for? Who is it not for?

Yeah, great question. Small business owners. One of the things we got out of was teaching high end business growth consulting because we love entrepreneurs and most entrepreneurs couldn't afford our fees. So if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a thought leader, if you're a coach, if you're a consultant, anybody who has a business where if you were able to master your messaging, whether it's your marketing or whether it's your speaking skills, your platform skills, if you were able to master that and you were able to attract a bigger audience, any small business owner, entrepreneur, thought leader who's committed to improving their growth, you know, if you want a three to six fold increase on your current results. That's who would be who it fits for.

Is it better for a service business or a product business?

Yeah, it really makes no difference if you're someone who can improve your results from going one to one to one to many. It doesn't matter if you're selling a product or widget or if you're selling a service like coaching or consulting or. I love working with healthcare practitioners, for example, because so often they're great at the technology or the technique or the manipulations of what they do, but so often they don't know how to communicate it in a way that causes people to want to know more. Or, you know, we can improve their bedside manner or their marketing or messaging to attract more clients, to retain more clients and improve the frequency of purchase. Love it.

Well, you don't know this, but a few days ago, I was at a restaurant, and I get this tap on my shoulder, and I look up and there's a guy by the name of Doug Sutton who just attended your last program. And we got talking, and I asked him, I said, what have you been up to? And he told me, well, I just went to this program with Scott Demolin winning big with integrity. And I go, oh, my God, you went to see that? How was it? And he was like, it was amazing. And he's a consultant, he's a solopreneur in a business, and he works in the CBD industry and a couple other industries. And he said what he learned with you just transformed his way of thinking and of behaving that he was so excited. So kudos to you and to Dallas for, you know, doing such a great job. And then there was Whitney Nell, who I knew went there, one of our dear friends, and she was like, oh, my God, this was incredible. Hey, this is John. And if you liked that video, watch the next video because it is packed with things that you can do right now to achieve success way faster than ever before.