Fear Will Kill Your Dreams (Faster than Failure Ever Will)

Hey there. I hope you are having a great day. Today. We're talking about fear and specifically how fear is not your enemy. All right, so when we talk about fear, what do you know about fear? Fear is not the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy. And what I want to be focusing on specifically are some techniques to eliminate fear and more importantly, use fear as your fuel for success instead of allowing it to control you. All right, so is it possible to use fear as fuel? Give me a little, like, give me a little sign that you're out there listening. Is it possible to use fear as fuel? And fear is not the enemy. Fear is one of your very, very, very best friends. And so I'm going to share with you a little bit about understanding fear from the perspective of your brain and how fear can be one of the greatest motivators. Instead of something that holds you back, you can use the dirt into the neurochemistry of fear to actually fuel your success. And I want you to answer this question. If you're driving your car and the light on your dash pops up, do you ever take a hammer and hit the light because you don't like the light? Have you ever considered doing that? My hallucination is that you have never taken a hammer to hit the light on your dash. Why? Because the light is a signal, right? The light is just a signal telling you that something is going on in the car. Something like maybe your tire pressure is low. I just had that happen in my car just the other day. There may be a window open. The trunk may be open. You may be low on windshield wiper fluid. You may be experiencing some kind of engine challenges. Hey there, F man. So if a signal is not your enemy, then what is fear? Can any of you tell me what is fear? Like, think about this, right? Think about this organism called your brain, okay? With a nervous system attached to. Okay. To the brain stem, right? And that nervous system has two main circuits that it works off of. A sympathetic and a parasympathetic. A stress reactive system and a common responsive system. We have nine systems in the body. Your nervous system is one of those. And so pm it's not False evidence Appearing real. Maybe it's real evidence that's real. So that old acronym of false evidence appearing real is throw it out the window. Not. Not accurate. Right? So I want you to think at a higher cortical level of thinking, okay? Fear is not your enemy. Ignorance is your enemy. Can anybody tell me what ignorance is? Can anybody tell me what ignorance means again? You know, I don't walk on eggshells. As you know, we're going to give you the real stuff based in neuroscience, neuropsychology. Ignorance is your enemy. Can anybody tell me what ignorance means? And I'm going to get into, you know, helping you understand a little bit more about fear. Fear. Fear, Fear, Fear. Fear. Lack of knowledge. A. Hayes lack of knowledge and in some cases skill. Right, so. So Cheryl Barber Parker. Right. I'm streaming right now, just so you all know, on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram, I'm using Streamyard. For any of you who are using social media, I'm using Streamyard to stream on everything other than Instagram. Instagram's right there and the rest are right over here. Hi everyone. So let's talk about fear. Are you aware how many fears there are? Hey, Julian Franco. Are you aware of how many fears there are that are triggered? How many fears are they that can trigger you into inaction if you don't know what you are doing? And the answer is over 50? Let's have a little bit of fun. Type in right now what your number one, two and three fear is. What are the fears that hold you back? I'm going to give you some techniques and tools on how to recognize and release the signal of fear. But first you want to recognize what's causing the fear. Would you agree that when you're in a state of fear, the fear is a signal? Right? It's a signal. Right. So it's a signal. So my biggest fear is panic attacks. Well, okay, so that's a fear. Fear of panic attacks. And is it really panic attacks that you fear? So self esteem can figure Fear, failure, looking bad. Fear of death. Right. Fear of failure. Right. Fear of other people's opinion. Is it really their opinion that you're afraid of or is it something else? Right. Think beyond the obvious. All right? Fear of unsecured future. So fear of emotional safety or is fear trying to create emotional safety? Kelly, let's think about your organism called your brain. There's a nervous system divided into a parasympathetic the calm to respond system and the stress to react system. Right? So I want you to get rid of all that. So Baljinder says, fear of judgment, fear of letting myself down. So here's a couple of frameworks. You're all on the right path. So there are over 5, 0, 50 different types of fear, right? And so there's fear of failure, which is probably one of the top ones. The next one is fear of being embarrassed, fear of being ashamed, fear of Being ridiculed or judged, fear of being rejected. There you go, Sylvain. Right, so fear of failure, embarrassment, shame, ridicule, rejected. Here's a huge one that adults don't even know they have that works at an unconscious or subconscious level. Ready? Can you guess what this one is that most people don't think about and don't even pay attention to? Hey there, Tracy and Rami. So the answer is fear of disappointment, fear of disappointing yourself again. Okay. And fear of disappointing loved ones, friends, colleagues, etc. Now let's understand fear. Okay? In order to understand fear, you have to understand a little about how. How did yours and my brain evolve, right? Three layers to the evolution of the brain, okay? The instinctual part of our brain, the limbic, emotional part of our brain, the thinking, imagination part of our brain. Three layers. Over 2 million years of evolution with the thinking part of the brain evolving in the last 50 or so thousand years. But fear is the signal that is one of the highest levels of reactiveness in the brain. Automatic reactiveness. Why? What is the hierarchy of how this thing, this organism works? What is the number one priority of your brain, my brain and everybody else? Number one priority. Can I may tell me what the number one priority is? Come on, let's get this group chat over here. Number one priority is survival and safety. So everything that you want to do, everything you're experiencing is being processed by your bio computer, your hundred billion dollar bio computer against is this possibly going to kill me and is my life in danger or my family's life in danger or my friends, the people I'm around? Number one. Number two, this is so critical in this game of fear, okay? Is avoidance of pain or discomfort. So number one, will this thing that I want to do experience kill me? Is there a possibility this will kill me right now? Okay. In this Covid laden era that we're living in, we have a real predator at bay. So there's a part of our brain that's consistently think about will I get this virus? Will she get it? Will I give it to somebody? Will somebody die? Will I die? Will I get sick? Will it hurt my brain, my lungs, my heart, my liver? Will it hurt me in any way? That's our brain's processing it. So there's a 247 awareness of every bit of incoming information and anything that we're processing. But number two, right, Is this avoidance of pain or discomfort. So if there is anything that you're thinking of doing, achieving, having, being, experiencing that could cause any pain or discomfort, what do you think the signal is going to be in your brain? Do you think it's going to be a signal of go, let's go and do this? Or do you think it's going to be a signal of fear, doubt, stress, anxiety, and maybe even panic? Do you think that when our brain anticipates a possible negative outcome that this thing called fear signals in the form of cortisol, epinephrine, norepinephrine, adrenaline, the neurochemicals that cause us to fight, flight for freeze or faint. There's four reactions that happen when that signal is activated. Fight, flight, freeze or faint. Right. So what do you do, by the way, when you're in a state of fear? Do you fight it, try and battle it out? Do you freeze into inaction? Right. Do you run away, do something else? Right. So aprien. You avoid, you run away. Is anybody here faint, by the way, when you're so overwhelmed with fear? Now, fear is just a signal that is part of our evolution for safety and avoidance of pain, but it also is part of our neural circuitry to conserve energy. So we don't want to do the things that are necessary to overcome fear for the most part. And only when 1, 2 and 3 are done, do we as humans, Organism, brain, right. Focus on how do I gain pleasure? So what do we do when we have a fear of failure? I want to give you a couple of tips, okay? Number one, is it really the failure that is the problem or pay close attention? By the way, fear is triggered in your subconscious mind automatically in billions of seconds. Then the neurochemistry releases neurochemicals into your body. That's called a feeling. Emotions subconsciously triggered feelings consciously felt. Okay, so be aware of the distinction. Now, let me help you understand something. When the fear signal is activated, that means that something in your neural network and patterns is associating that something with survival, safety and pain. So any real or imagined situation is going to trigger that fear signal. There's nothing wrong with your signal. That is part of what I call the Einstein part of the Frankenstein part of the brain. That amygdala, the emotional control response center in the brain that fires off, okay, signals to make you aware. Now, most people are not ever taught to be aware. And awareness is what gives you choice, and choice is what can give you freedom. But in a state of ignorance, not knowing, we just repeat patterns that we have gotten used to over the years as a way to protect ourselves. Now, let's talk about fear. Okay, let's talk about fear. Is fear of failure, what is really holding you back? What if I told you that the meaning that you learned to give failure will cause the automatic reaction that you have. The meaning that you learned to give failing. Are there people that believe, for example, that failure just means that what I tried didn't work? And are there people that think that failure means I'm not good enough? Now, if somebody thinks that failure just means I learned something, they'll keep doing it and learning, knowing that it's part of the process. But if at a subconscious level they believe that failure means I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not worthy, they will move away from it and pay close attention. If somebody typed this in. Us humans do more to avoid pain and discomfort that we do to gain pleasure. We do more to avoid pain and discomfort than we do to gain pleasure. What does that mean? It means that we can learn how to give things a meaning that empower us instead of meanings that disempower us. So fear is not your enemy. Ignorance is your enemy. It's either ignorance of how to frame it or ignorance of awareness and ignorance of skill. So what we want to do is learn how to be more aware. Hi there. Jesse Morton. Nice to see you on. And Nancy, does that make sense, number one? So if it makes sense, give me a like or a love. And if it makes sense. And thank you, Sarah C. For writing that down. If it makes sense, you know, give me John. This makes sense. So our brain, right, this organism is a meaning making organism. And most of the meanings that we have are not the meanings we gave things. It's the meanings that our parents or teachers or brothers and sisters and friends gave us in this environment that we live in. So fear is not the enemy. And so here is a question. If failure is one of the ways we learn how to walk, brush our teeth, learn how to eat, learn language, learn math, learn to sew, learn to knit, learn everything, Then why not choose a meaning that will serve you and empower you? So what is a meaning that you can give? Failure. Okay? The fear of failure so that it empowers you. Instead of disempowering, can you deliberately and consciously evolve yourself? Can you deliberately evolve yourself? Of course you can. Based on the science of neuroplasticity. Your brain's ability to create new connections. The meaning that we give anything is a connection and association in the brain. The meaning that we give or gave anything is a pattern that becomes reinforced in the brain. And then our brain acts automatically in accordance with the meanings that we have at the subconscious level. So fear is not your enemy. Fear is a signal. Now the key is to learn how to become more aware of the signal. So whether it's a fear of failure or fear of success, let's shift over to another one. By the way, if you like this training, I have about a 90 minute even more in depth training that you can sign up for for free. My team has told me they're going to put a link up and it's called Winning the Game of Fear. And I'll give you some even more techniques. And so we'll post it up in my LinkedIn account and on every one of the social media accounts, either in the chat or somewhere where you look for a link. How's that? So let me continue. All right, so Jamie says rewiring through awareness, awareness is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. Now, what is awareness? And I'll come to that in just a second because I want to go to another thing over here. Were you born with any beliefs? No. Were you born with any neural patterns other than the autonomic nervous system patterns? Okay, to digest food, to eliminate, to breathe naturally. You don't have to think about breathing. You just breathe right after you're spanked in some cases. But when we're talking about, okay, fears like did you, were you born embarrassed of being naked? Were you born with being ashamed of a behavior? Were you born with a self esteem that's low or high? Were you born with an awareness of how spectacular you are or how miserable you can be? No. You weren't born with any neural patterns. Right. Those neural patterns were conditioned into us as a result of our parents or maybe our grandparents, our teachers, our experiences. Does this make sense? Right? Does this make sense? Let me know if this makes sense. Okay, so where did we develop those? We were told or taught, we experienced, gave things meanings and in some cases empowered us, in some cases disempowered us. But here's what we know is the meanings that are wired in the subconscious mind create the automatic trigger of the fear. Let me share with you a story that'll put this into perspective. Several years ago, when we could do live events, one of the things we did was we did something called Fear Factor. And we had contestants come up to the stage and do these things like the TV show Fear Factor. Whether it was eating dead worms or eating the stinkiest cheese in the world or doing anything that would be fearful. We brought in one of my friends. Michael is a zoologist in The San Diego Zoo. He brought in a 10 foot, 300 pound, thick, like this albino snake. And I didn't tell anybody this was going to happen. And he, he came in the back door with two other guys who were both my height, six two, about 200 pounds, carrying this snake. Now, there are about 500 people in the audience, and out of the 500 people in the audience, about 30 or 40 people ran to the other side of the room just when they saw the snake. About half the audience just sat there and half the audience, the rest were moving towards the snake to look at it even more. Now, how is it that a snake could cause some people to run, some people just observe and other people, okay, to move towards it? And the answer is the meaning that they learned how to give snakes either through television, books or through real life experiences, or what they were taught by their parents or teachers caused them to have an automatic reaction. Fear is an automatically triggered circuit in the brain. And so when you and I have a fear of being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed or judged or rejected, it is a learned reaction that disempowers us. Because as soon as the trigger for fear is activated, the motivational circuit actually shuts down the left prefrontal cortex, the Einstein part of the brain, blood flow moves away from the thinking neocortex CEO executive director part of your brain, so that blood flows to your legs instead in case you have to run. So being afraid of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged or disappointed that you may fail or you may let people down is nothing more than a pattern in your subconscious mind that's triggering this signal. And what causes the fear signal to be activated in one person's brain doesn't cause it in another person's brain. So it's almost never the thing that causes the fear circuit. Does that make sense? The fear circuit to activate. So one of the first things that I teach in my new book, inner size, and I'll teach you many, many more techniques in the free training I'm doing on winning the game of fear is the first thing you need to understand is I have a brain. You have a brain. You have a brain. It's worth $100 billion. That's the first thing you need to learn. I'm not my brain. I have a brain. I am not. My emotions. I have emotions. I'm not. My feelings. I have feelings. Feelings. Now, where does awareness come in? Awareness comes in through leveling up your knowledge and skill. So your knowledge, I'm giving you today one skill that you can practice every hour. We're going to give you two inner sizes. Exercise for your body, inner size for your brain. Think of your brain as having neuromuscles. Think of your brain as having patterns. Some are constructive, some are destructive, some empower you, some disempower you. Some are positive, some are negative. Is that cool so far, and I hope you don't mind, I like to go fast to give you some good stuff in 30 minutes during this show. So this is my Achieve Even More show every Tuesday, right here on this station. So if every hour for one minute, you stop, you put a little bell on your mobile phone or on your computer, and if all you did were these two inner sizes, you'd be further ahead. There's many more, but I'll give you two right now. A simple, simple, simple act of slowing down to breathe. Now, why to breathe? Well, when we take six deep breaths in through our nose, as slowly as we can. Not fast, slow down so you can pick up speed. You take six deep breaths. Do it with me right now. Practice while we can't. Practice makes permanent. Right? So let's practice. Take a deep breath in as slowly as you can. And as you inhale, I want you to breathe in self, confidence and certainty and personal power. Ready? 3, 2, 1. Hold it. Self confidence, certainty and personal power. And now, as you breathe out through your mouth with as if you're breathing out through a straw, slowly, slowly, slowly I breathe out. Fear, stress, anxiety, uncertainty, lack of confidence. Breathe in. Confidence, certainty, personal power. Slowly. I breathe out Stress, anxiety, uncertainty, lack of confidence. Just doing that. Using words. When you use positive words, as you're breathing in deliberately and focusing your energy and attention on those words, you are actually releasing the neurochemicals associated with those words. Every word triggers the neurochemistry of that word. Every sentence, every emotion triggers the neurochemistry of that emotion or sentence. And if you breathe in what you want and you exhale what you don't want, you are automatically training and re patterning your brain in just six deep breaths. In and out. Slowly, slowly. Slowly, slowly, slowly. Inner size 1, inner size 2. In a state of calmness where you have reactivated the thinking, imagination CEO part of your brain, instead of the Frankenstein part of your brain that's focusing on the what if negative. When you're focusing on this next inner size, it's all about awareness. Let me explain. If you had a sheet of paper near you and you wrote down in the last 15 minutes, what have been my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations and behaviors Were they constructive or destructive, positive or negative? Empowering me or disempowering me? Moving me towards my goals or away from my goals? Now we're in a state of awareness. Now when you do inner size number two, remember this, okay? Pay close attention. If you like this, give me a like or a love and a comment. You must practice awareness and mindfulness without judging yourself, blaming yourself, feeling guilty for what you just noticed or justifying it. No judgment, blame, shame, guilt or justification, just awareness. And then the second inner size, which is called ayah, awareness without any of the negative connotations to it. Then we say, what's your intention right now? My intention is to be positive. My intention is to be focused. My intention is to take action. My intention is to go and do what I need to do. My intention is to stop doing the stuff that is useless and start doing the stuff that's going to move me forward. So intention. And then here is the key. You can have awareness and intention, but unless you back it up with one small action step towards what you want, all you have is awareness and intention. And here's what we know. Awareness plus intention plus a little micro step towards doing what you need to do, want to do. That is what helps the beginning parts of rewiring your brain so that you can feel the fear of failure, feel the fear of success fear the feel of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed or judged. And in a state of awareness, you can interrupt the pattern and then create and reinforce a new empowering, constructive move me forward pattern versus keeping me fricking stuck. Reinforcing patterns that get me nowhere. Listen, you own the most powerful biocomputer in the whole world. The challenge you may be having is you just have not been taught yet how to use it better. And you may have 20, 30, 40 years of disempowering, reinforcing patterns. Let's make you more aware. Let's make you a better operator of your brain. Since you have a brain, you're not your brain. And then let's help you achieve more of the health, wealth, relationships, career, business, fun experiences, charitable goals that you have. You have the ability to 2, 3, 4x positively your results this year. So fear is not your enemy. Ignorance is. I just gave you a couple of little tools and hopefully a whole bunch of awareness on how to use your brain better. Did you enjoy this? If you did, will you share it? If you don't mind sharing it. I love to give and share and spread the neuroscience and the neuropsychology. Success. No more Hocus pocus, airy fairy stuff. Let's use what works. All right. Let's use what works. All right. Thank you. Sherry Hobson. Yeah. I'll say hello to a few of you. And by the way, if you want to go deeper with me, I've got a, you know, a program you can sign up for. It's free. You'll learn more. And if you want to go deeper than that, I'll show you how to do that afterwards. But get yourself back in control. Stop being a victim of your past, of your old conditioning, and start being in control so you can get rid of being a victim and start being victorious. Okay? It's not the smartest of us who do the best. It's those who do the right things in the right order at the right time. And what I want to do is help you reduce the stress to achieving success. I want it to be stress less. I want it to be effortless less. Okay, so the link is going to be in my bio or the link will be here in the chat. And so please hit the share button. Let's, let's get people some more empowered, positive stuff right now. All right, thank you, Jamie. And I'll say hello to Jennifer and to kaku, to Mr. Nags. Echo. Nice to have you on Muse. Debbie, Always. Haze, Busma, Lawrence. Thank you. Appreciate that you love my work. I love to share and give. Listen, I want you to understand something. I just have a passion for getting results that I want. And I'm willing to master change instead of mastering disappointment. Right? I want to master change. You know, I know I need to change and I'm okay with change. Usually the only humans that like change is a wet baby. I want to deliberately and consciously evolve myself. And as I learn, I share with you and as you get better, share with your children, your spouse, your friends. Let's come from a place of empowerment and remembering what we are, right? We are all geniuses. Billions of years of evolution, two plus million years of human evolution has created us. You, me, with hundred billion, a trillion dollar brain. Let's just use it better and achieve more health, greater success, more fun, more experiences, right? So let's become more because we can, right? Let's have a healthy respect for what and who all of us are. Not me. There's nothing different about my brain than yours. I may just know how to use it a little bit better. And so you use it better. Then teach me some. All right, thanks everyone. Have a great day. Thank you for sharing this. Thanks for being here and I will see you on the training for how to win the Game of Fear. And let's have some fun achieving our life's goals and dreams. So we feel proud, you know, we feel motivated, we feel inspired. We feel like sharing and giving. And by showing people how much we can learn and grow, it inspires and motivates them. Right? Let's motivate each other. Let's lift each other up as we climb. As I climb. I lift you up as you climb. Lift me up. Have a great day. Evening, wherever you are in the world. All right, thanks, everyone. Bye now. See you next Tuesday, same time.