How to Make A Memory Positive or Negative

Imagine that you could, okay, change the meaning of what happened to you so that you are empowered because of it instead of disempowered because of it. Memory, positive or negative? Can you make a memory positive or negative? Let me know what you think about that statement, right? We all have. Hold on, hold on. I forgot my brain. We all have a brain. It's making memories every second of every day. Can you make a memory, positive or negative, deliberately? And what is your brain wired to do more of? Is your brain wired to create more positive memories or negative memories? I've got some really, really good research I'm going to share with you. I'm going to give you a technique that's an inner size on how to make positive memories even from a negative, okay, Experience. So we're talking about, can you make a memory positive or negative? Do you and I have that much control? All right, so let me share some of you. Let me read this to you. I don't want to miss a thing because this is so important. Ready? So researchers have discovered a specific neurotransmitter. Okay, we got a lot of different neurotransmitters that helps assign either a positive or negative emotion to memories. So there's actually a very specific neurotransmitter. So the question is here, and let me just continue. Okay, so research at the Salk Institute, which is just down the street here in San Diego, have discovered the molecule in the brain responsible for associating good or bad feelings with the memory. And. And so there's a researcher that discovered a group of neurons, brain cells in the brain's basolateral amygdala. How many of you know what the amygdala is? The amygdala is the emotional response center in the brain. It's like two little pieces, okay, on the inside of the brain, just above the ear, on the left side and right side. And that controls not just the emotion of fear, but all emotions. All right? So this. This group of neurons were leading to positive or very or. Or negative balance. And here's what happened, all right? There's a molecule called neuros. Neurotensin. And what happens is yours in my brain. Here is something that we know because of the number one priority of the brain. Can anybody tell me what the number one priority is of the brain? Anybody? Tell me? Anybody tell me what is the number one priority of the brain? Safety and survival. Right? Safety and survival. So this part of our brain is consistently looking for things that could affect our safety and survival, right? So when we have a negative experience, these neurons are highly active and create a neuron pattern that they say is up to a thousand times more powerful than a pleasurable emotion or experience. Up to a thousand times. So if the number one priority of the brain is survival and safety, and the number two priority of the brain. Anybody tell me what the number two priorities of the brain, what does the number, what is the number two priority of the brain? Safety and survival. First. So if there's anything in your environment that could, okay, affect your safety and survival, these neurons get active and they create a pattern to create the memory for future use and to pass down from generation to generation. But the number two, all right, Shafika. Is avoidance of any pain or discomfort. Think about animals for just a moment. Don't we all want our comforts? You know, our cozy blankets, our nice rooms that's at the temperature that we want. So what happens? Okay, this is so cool, right? Because now they're actually finding the, the, the neurons responsible for this. So in our brain, we're all just, you know, you know, brain. With 100 billion neurons, our brain is creating patterns as quickly as possible to that get us to move away from pain, discomfort. Now here is something really important. Even if the pain or discomfort is part of our imagination, it doesn't even have to be real pain or discomfort. It doesn't even have to be a real threat. It's the potential of threat or discomfort that creates the, that quick neuron firing and the connectivity in the brain, right? So think about this. And the whole topic I want to talk about today is this. And somebody shared this before, and that is, you know, how do we make a memory positive or negative? Is it possible to become aware of the patterns that we have? Our thought patterns, our emotional patterns, our behavioral patterns? Is that possible? Yes or no, Is that possible? Yes or no? Does anybody know what mindfulness is? What's mindfulness? Mindfulness is being aware. So can you be aware of how your body is feeling? Isn't it true this is a learning opportunity? Isn't it true that all emotions are fired in the subconscious part of the brain? Emotions, right, fires based on the history, the memories that we have. And so neurons fire, release neurochemicals that goes into the bloodstream. And we call that a feeling, right? We call that a feeling. And not just how your body is feeling, but what about being aware of your thoughts, being aware of the feelings as well, being aware of behavior. So pay attention. So our brain is actually anticipating what might happen and in its anticipation, okay, it is releasing the neurochemicals for survival from. For safety and avoidance of real or imagined pain or discomfort. It does this in billionths of a second to keep you comfortable, to keep you safe, to keep you away from any pain or discomfort. And it does this to conserve energy. So in its quest to conserve energy, it creates these patterns to anticipate threat. Does that make sense? Yours in my brain anticipates threat at a subconscious level. So think about this. How do we create a positive memory instead of a negative one? So imagine that something is happening, you know, to you or something has happened to you in the past. Imagine that you could, okay, change the meaning of what happened to you so that you are empowered because of it instead of disempowered because of it. So I'll give you an example. Let's talk about this situation. How many of you, how many of you have a fear of public speaking? And I want to show you something. Who, like, if the answer is yes, or do you have a fear of snakes or spiders or of jumping out of a plane? Do you have a fear of any of those? Well, where is that fear coming from? Did you or were you born with that fear? Were you born with a fear of failing? Were you born with the fear of public speaking? Were you born with any fear? No. You were never born with a fear. Most people are not afraid of public speaking. What the fear is is this. Correct me if I'm wrong. The fear is if I speak in public and let's say I mess up what I'm saying, if I speak in public and I'm embarrassed or ashamed or I'm ridiculed or I'm judged or I'm rejected by. Don't we all have a memory of what it feels like to be embarrassed? Don't we have a memory of what it feels like to be ashamed or ridiculed or judged or rejected? Don't we have a fear of maybe not being loved or accepted? Isn't that what we're really moving away from? But that memory was created either because our brothers or sisters or parents told us that that memory was created because we had an experience. And the meaning we gave the experience created the pattern that was reinforced. And then that pattern automatically is activated. Anytime our brain anticipates that that feeling may arise again, that experience may arise again. So what we are actually moving away from is the possibility that we might lose money and we can't pay the bills with the possibility that we'll speak and we won't come across eloquently to the people that we're speaking to. So here's a question for you. Is it possible, and this is really, I want you to think a little bit, right? And for those of you just joined, I've been talking about some new research from the Salk Institute about memories and that there's a group of neurons that signal positivity or negativity. But we can, number one, change the meaning of anything so that it empowers us instead of disempowers. Let me ask you a question, okay? Here is something that's really, really interesting. Have you ever had something negative happen to you that maybe was painful when. When it was happening, but then whether it's six months or a year or five years later, it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you? Maybe for some of you, you got a divorce, and it was painful during the divorce, and you equate divorce with pain. But you met the love of your life. You know, maybe you had an illness, and because you beat the illness, it became one of your greatest lessons in your life. Maybe, okay, something happened to you where you were embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed, judged or rejected. But because of that, you became better at something. And now, okay, it was what empowered you, right? So here is the thing that we know. We are meaning making machines, right? Bioelectrical machines. We make meanings of things. So here's my question for you. Can you and I learn how to give things a meaning that empower us instead of disempower us? Can we do that? Do you mind if we have a little bit of fun here? What is one thing that you can change the meaning of? So I'll give you an example. Let's take failure. Failure. So we can fail at something and we can say, I'm a failure. We could say that giving us a negative meaning, right? So why would I try if I'm a failure? But what if instead, okay, when I failed, I said, I'm not a failure. What I did, failed, what did I learn? And then how could I empower myself with the lesson? And isn't that a reframe? Isn't that a total reframe? So when we shift our mindset from a negative memory or meaning that we give things into a positive, we actually wire our brain differently so that the very next time we might think that we might be embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judged, we say, well, the last time I failed, here's what I learned. I wonder what I'm going to learn. This time, isn't this what I call is the razor's edge? The difference between people who actually move forward even when they fail or they're rejected or embarrassed or ashamed or they get hurt? How many of you fell down, you know, when you learned how to bike? What about when you learned how to walk? How many of you failed forward millions of times in your life? And I'm just using failure for just a moment, Right? Right. So in a state of awareness, first and foremost, we can become aware of how are we feeling. Because the way we feel is based on the neurochemicals, right, that are being released in our brain, right? So the neurochemicals that are released in a state of awareness and in a state of calmness, we're no longer reacting. So how do we stay in a state of calmness? So before there's a reaction, we are able to be aware so we can respond. You understand the difference between reacting and responding? Reacting is automatic, deliberate. Okay, Responding is deliberate. Let me repeat. Reacting is automatic. Responding is deliberate. So can we become aware of our maybe negative or disempowering reactions that want to repeat and reinforce themselves? Right. Many of you have already got my, my best selling book, Inner Size, which is back there. And inner size number one is called take six, Calm the circuit. So when we're in a reactive state of fear or stress or anxiety or worry, we are releasing the neurochemicals and we're reinforcing that neural pattern. And based on what the research at Salk Institute says, the more that we reinforce the pattern, the more our brain anticipates that pattern and looks for in the physical world. So when we react over and over and over again, we're repeating the very pattern. And some patterns are constructive and some patterns are destructive, right? Some patterns empower us, some patterns disempower us. Some patterns are positive, some powers are negative. Some patterns are stronger than others. So when we take any event, present or past, and we change the meaning of it, and we create deliberately a meaning that empowers us, we now are creating the memories that we want. Do you want to know why most of your thoughts, maybe 70, 80%, 90% for some people, are negative? Do you know why? Because the memories that percolate up from your subconscious brain has a negative association to it. So here is something that Dr. Barbara Fredrickson discovered is something called the three to one positivity, or negativity to positivity ratio. Are you ready? If it's true that the negative patterns are there as a protective Mechanism to avoid pain or discomfort and. And to ensure survival. And those patterns actually get reinforced way faster and stronger than a positive pattern because the protein that's actually released at the synaptic gap. Okay, this is fact, right? Then anytime you have a negative thought, anytime you have a disempowering emotion, first thing you do is you take six deep breaths into your nose, slowly out through your mouth, like you're breathing out through a straw. You can practice with me if you like. Practice is what makes permanent patterns. What you don't practice, you don't make permanent. That's called take six. Calm the circuits first. When we calm the circuit, specifically the sympathetic nervous system, the circuit that is the stress circuit that cause you to fight, freeze, or flee, run away. Where the neurochemicals are, cortisol, epinephrine, or norepinephrine are running through your body, adrenaline, Right? When we calm the circuit first, then we can shift the meaning of the event in the present moment or in the past, thereby changing the neural pattern and then recreating a positive, empowering memory instead of reinforcing a disempowering, destructive, maybe negative memory. Does that work? So we want to use the breath, okay, to calm down first. Then we want to use our awareness. There's an inner size that I teach called ayah A I A AIA AIA stands for awareness. And the question is awareness of what? And the answer is, I want to be aware of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. I want to be aware of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. But here is what you have to do. Pay attention. You have to practice awareness without judgment, blame, shame, guilt, or justification. Why? Because as soon as we judge something as negative or positive, we reinforce the pattern. As soon as we blame shame, feel guilty, we're releasing the neurochemicals of stress, reinforcing the pattern. So when we do our awareness of thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations and behaviors in a calm state, then we deactivate the neurochemical release, the stress neurochemical release, which reinforces a negative pattern. And what we do is we set a new intention. My intention is to learn the lesson from this thing that just happened, or my. My intention is to learn the lesson of what happened in the past. And how can I lift myself up because of it instead of putting me down. Most of our patterns we developed in childhood. We didn't have the ability or the skill to do this. Most adults don't have the skill to do this right. So we want to have awareness. We want to set an Intention. And then what do we want to do? We want to take one action step towards something that empowers us towards moving forward, towards a positive memory around it. Does that make sense? So the 3 to 1 ratio is for every negative thought. For every negative thought that yields a negative or disempowering emotion. Right. We want to switch it with three positives. So let's say something just happened to us. And can you become better at framing stuff? Okay, we're talking about framing and then reframing first. Framing. Giving it a meaning that empowers you. So, hey, I just made a mistake with blank. Oh, my God. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I'm so stupid. I don't deserve to succeed. Negative. Negative. Negative reinforcement, negative pattern. Or, hey, I just made a mistake with blank. Blank, blank. Got it. What did I learn? What could I have shifted next time? What was the biggest lesson in here? How does this make me stronger? You see what I just did? I just shifted from going down a destructive reinforced pattern to a positive reinforcement pattern. And isn't it true that we all fail? Isn't it true we are all rejected? You. Isn't it true that we all, okay, do things that we might be embarrassed or ashamed of, but we don't want to live there and reinforce the pattern? Why? Because we have billions and billions of patterns. Those patterns get triggered and activated in the subconscious mind, which causes the neurochemicals to create our feelings. And here's where this gets dangerous. If we think about what we feel, and we feel what we think about, and it's negative or disempowering, we are actually reactivating the electrical activity and the. The neuron, the. The neurotransmitters and the neurochemicals to reinforce a pattern we don't want. So awareness is what gives you choice, and choice is what can give you freedom. But awareness gives you the ability to change the meaning of anything so that you are empowered instead of disempowered. Yes or no? Yes or no? Come on. Is this a skill? Yeah, it's a skill. Like knitting, like chess. Like playing the yo yo. Like math, like learning a language. It's a skill. Now, what about reframing? Taking something from the past and framing it in a way that you are empowered because of it today. There's a neuroscience to behavior. There's a neuroscience to performance. There's a neuroscience to emotions. There's a neuroscience to thoughts. There's a neuroscience to performing at a better level. And. And if you become better at just using some of the tools, you can achieve more success in every area of your life. So think about this. How do you take something happened in the past, and how do you give it a meaning that empowers you? Take a piece of paper, write out the thing, all right? Write out the thing. Put a line down the middle. All right? So here, just write. Grab a piece of paper. You know, write out whatever it is. This is what happened. Here is the trauma. Here is the divorce. Here is the cancer. Here is the thing, okay? Here's all the negative stuff around it. And then ask yourself a question. Put on the right side as a result of that thing, the trauma, the pain, the embarrassment, what did I discover about myself? What did I learn? What can I do with what I learned? Now you can either say, well, I learned that he or she or they or it is dangerous. And you can leave that on the left side. But what you learned could be what? Something that lifts you up. I learned that I'm really resilient. I learned that I can survive. I learned that I should not do this and do that. I learned that, right? So this is rewriting the script and the narrative. Now, if you want to use some advanced techniques, all right, you can take any situation that you can imagine in your mind that is from a past occurrence, a past memory. And you know what you can do with any past memory? Do you know what you do with a record? And if you take a record and you scratch it, do you know how you could take a memory? By the way, you never, ever, ever, ever, ever have the same memory twice. If you have a memory right now in the room that you're at at the time that you're having a memory from the past, all of the information of your environment right now is being encoded into that memory right now and adding it to an old memory. But we never have a memory twice. So is it possible to make a memory brighter or dimmer? And is it possible to take a memory and scratch it? Is it possible to take a memory that you had, I don't care what it is, and put a pig with a big horn, you know, in front of its nose and purple ears, okay, and make the pig's face red? And is it possible that as you do that, okay, you actually deactivate the strength of the memory? Of course it is. That's called timeline therapy. And that's a process that you can use to take any memory that may be holding you hostage or maybe coming up over and over again. Like a fear of something, and you change the meaning of it. You change the actual memory using your imagination. And you can use something called mental contrasting to see the old memory, change it, and then see whatever it is that you want. And you create and reinforce a new pattern. Yours and my brain, okay? 100 billion neurons. We're creating new neurons every day. We are creating and reinforcing new patterns. So why not deactivate. Deactivate the disempowering neurons that you have or neural patterns that you have and recreate a new positive pattern? Don't we want positive patterns that empower us, that give us strength, that cause us to do what we want to do instead of moving away from what we don't want? How many of you can take anything that's happened to you in the past and say, God, I'm so resilient, I'm so powerful. I made it through that. So either you're going to be a victim of your past or you're going to be victorious over it. Isn't that your choice? Now, listen, let's make no mistake about this. It's going to take a little bit of work effort, but what's the alternative? Like, what's the alternative? Be a victim of the past, Be a victim of the present moment that you're. You're making decisions of not to do stuff and move away from stuff based on what happened to you as a child. So today we've been talking about how to make positive memories. Okay? How making a memory, positive or negative, you can give things a meaning that create positive memories, or you can give things a meaning that create negative memories. The negative memories will reinforce themselves. The positive memories reinforce themselves. Why not become a better meaning? Making human being create meanings that lift you up versus meanings that push you down. Hey, this is John. And if you like that video, watch the next video because it is packed with things that you can do right now to achieve success way faster than ever before.