How to Reprogram Your Brain and Achieve ANY Goal

And our brain has circuits and networks. So networks that turn on and off, circuits that turn on and off. And most people just don't know how to turn on or off. Whether it's their motivational circuit or their fear or stress or uncertainty circuit, they are victims of what their brain has been conditioned to do instead of being masters of change and using their brain. You're listening to Win the Day with James Whitaker, what we do in life, Echoes of Eternity broadcasting from Los Angeles, California. Here's your host, James Whitaker. Let's go.

Welcome back to Win the Day. The quote for today's episode comes from John Assaraf and says, do more of what you love, less of what you tolerate and none of what you hate. I'm really excited for this episode. Today we've got one of the leading mindset and behavior experts on the entire planet, John Assaraf. You probably know John from the 2006 film The Secret, which was a monster worldwide hit. And he's achieved some massive wins since then, too. But his journey to success was anything but smooth. Growing up with a fixed mindset, John was expecting to follow a similar path to his father, who lived paycheck to paycheck as a taxi driver with a bad gambling habit. John left high school after grade 10 and eventually found work in a warehouse. But he was hanging out with some unsavoury people, which left him with two career horizons, jail or the morgue. It was only at 19 years old, through the influence of a successful businessman, that John began taking ownership of his life for the first time. This mentor asked John three simple but profound questions that changed his trajectory forever. And when his mind changed, his world did too. Since then, John has built a billion dollar company, numerous multimillion dollar companies, written two New York Times best selling books, and been featured in eight movies including the Secret, which we just mentioned, and Quest for Success alongside Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama. Today, John is founder and CEO of NeuroGym, a company dedicated to using the most advanced brain training methods to help individuals unleash their fullest potential and maximize their results. In this interview, we're going to talk about what you can do to reprogram your brain for massive success. We'll go through the three simple but profound questions that John's mentor shared with him that changed his life forever. The debilitating health condition in his early 20s that sparked his life's work, John's daily routine for peak performance. What to do with negative people in your life or people who simply refuse to change? And how you can achieve any goal. All right, let's get into the fun with Jon Acerath. John Assaraf, thanks so much for being on the Win the Day show.

Hey James, it's great to be with you.

Well, a big shout out to our good friend Court Davies for putting us in touch too. I'm sure Court is either watching this on YouTube or listening to the podcast, but I want to start with your personal story because we've got so much to talk about today and I can't wait to get into all the good stuff. For those who see the multiple time New York Times best selling author, multi million dollar business owner best but it wasn't all smooth sailing for you. What are some challenges that you had growing up that are still such vivid memories for you today?

Where do I begin? But since you talk about childhood, when I moved from Israel to Montreal, Canada, I was just learning the Hebrew language as a five year old, let alone reading and writing, which I never learned how to do. But I moved to Montreal, Canada with my family and they moved there because they didn't want to raise their children with war torn Israel at the time. And I quickly fell behind in school by two years. While I was learning English and French, I fell two years behind in classrooms. There were 50, 60 kids per class and I started getting into a lot of trouble by grade 7, 8, 9, 10, I was in the principal's office the whole time. I ended up with a group of kids that were adept at shoplifting and breaking entries into homes and businesses and ended up in detention centers. And you know, my life was spinning out of control. By the time I was 17, 18, I was either going to go to jail or the morgue. That was the direction my life was heading in. And fortunately for me, When I was 19, my brother had invited me to travel by train from Montreal to Toronto to to have lunch with the gentleman. He said, listen, this guy is really, really smart and he's a really nice man and he can help you. And I'm like, yeah, sure, I don't need any help. But long story short, I knew that I was heading in the wrong direction and picking up speed. And when I met this gentleman, his name was Alan Brown, he asked me questions about why I was doing all the things I was doing that I shouldn't be doing. And you know, my answer was, well, because I just want to make some money and I want to fit in, I want to have a good time. And he asked me, why don't you just use your brain better to do things Legally and to really become more than you are right now. And I had no idea what he was talking about. And he asked me what were some of the goals that I had. I said my goals are to move out of my parents house, to get my own car and to have a little bit of money to have some fun. He says, well, that's all great, basic needs, everybody wants that. At your age, what are some of your bigger goals and dreams? And I said well, I really haven't thought about it. And so he gave me this document, it was probably about five, six pages. And he said, why don't you sit down at the table next to your brother and I, we were having lunch. And he said, fill out some of these questions. And so the first question on this document was at what age do you want to retire? I'm like, I'm fucking 19 years old. What do you mean what age do I want to retire? I'd like to get a job. The next question was what amount of net worth do you want to have upon retirement? And so I remember looking at him going, hey, Mr. Brown, what's net worth? And he's like, well that's if you have assets and you minus your expenses or your debt, that's net worth. I'm like, I have no idea what he's talking. Just break down how much money you want to be worth. And I had a whole bunch of questions like that, what kind of lifestyle do you want? What kind of car do you want? Who do you want to help? All of these obscure questions that at 19 years old I had no idea. So I wrote down a bunch of stuff. And he looked at the paper after about 15 minutes and he goes, wow, this isn't bad. And for retirement I said I want to retire at age 45, 26 years later, I said I want to have a net worth, which I didn't know what it meant, of $3 million. I want to drive a Mercedes Benz, I want to travel the world first class, I want to have Italian clothes and blah blah, blah, blah blah. And he said this is actually really good. He said where did you get these ideas? And I said well, I love watching the TV show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And so they live a great life. I want to live a great life. And he said, listen, I'm going to ask you one question. And the answer to this question will determine whether you achieve every one of these things. And the back of my head, James, I'm thinking one question, like really? Fire away. She says, are you Interested in achieving these goals and dreams or are you committed? And I was like, interested, committed. Like, what is that? So I asked him, Mr. Brown, what's the difference? I said, if you're interested, you'll keep coming up with stories and excuses and reasons why you can't. You'll keep doing the things that you're doing and you won't do what it takes to change. He said, if you're committed, you'll upgrade your knowledge, you'll upgrade your skills, you'll upgrade your beliefs, and then you will develop habits and that are consistent with somebody who can achieve those goals, all of which are doable. So he said, so are you interested? Are you committed? And I thought for just a moment and some. I don't know why, but out of my mouth came, I'm committed. And in that second he says, good. And he reached out his hand, said, in that case, I will be your mentor. And I go, awesome. What's a mentor? And then he explained to me, a mentor, somebody who coaches you on what to do, what not to do, and why to do it. And I was 19 at the time. It was May. It was actually the end of April 1980, and that was the beginning of my shift. So I went from being lost, low self esteem, low self worth, which I didn't know at the time, with a limited mindset of what I could achieve and doing things that I shouldn't be doing because that's what I thought I had to do to succeed and to have a little money in my pocket and feel like I belonged. And that was the beginning of my life, really. Shifting and being on the trajectory that I've been on now for 40 years. And so there's a little bit of the history, maybe more than you wanted.

I love it. Were you committed at that time or were you interested, pending committed?

Well, I was. I didn't even know what it meant. And so as soon as I said, I'm committed, and he said, I'll mentor you, he said, great, in that case, I need you to move from Montreal to Toronto. And I said, what do you mean, move from Montreal to Toronto? I don't have any money, I don't have a car, I don't have a job. Here he goes. There you go. Look how fast you're giving me excuses. He said, if you're committed, you'll figure it out. I said, well, I know, But I have $40 in my bank. Maybe it was $60. I don't have a car and I don't have a car. I Don't have a place to live in Toronto. He says, there you go again. I said, fine, I'll move to Toronto. I had no idea how. He says, and by the way, on May 5th, I remember these dates so well, and I'll explain to you why in just a moment. He says, On May 5, there is a real estate course that I wanted to take. And he had real estate offices, and he was a developer and a very, very, very, very successful builder. And so he says, there's a real estate course. I want you to take a real estate course so you can get your real estate license. I said, you mean me going back to school? I said, I left at grade 11. I failed math, I failed English. I can't stand school. He goes, look how fast you're telling me about your past and how you hated school. He said, I don't care about your story. I don't care about the reasons or excuses that you have. That's what's going to hold you and keep you stuck. He says, the course starts on May 5th. It's five weeks, nine to five. It costs 500 bucks. Are you doing it or not? I don't have 500 bucks. I hate school. He says, see how fast you just keep going back to why you can't? I go, but it's the truth. It's reality. Like, I'm committed, but it's reality. He says, no, it's not reality, but you're making it your reality, and you're reinforcing a limited mindset. So I sat down and said, fine, I'll do it. And I wanted to say something else. And so my rest of all, hey, bro, I'll lend you a hundred bucks. My sister ended up lending me some money. My father ended up lending me some money. I moved to Toronto, like 10 days later. I quit my job. I was working for $1.65 an hour in a shipping department. I quit my job, took the train back to Toronto. My brother let me live with him, got into the real estate course May 5, 1980. Graduated June 20, 1980, with a real estate license in my hand. And the reason I remember these date so well, I had cheated most of my high school life on every single test. I didn't feel smart enough to do it on my own or I failed. And so on June 20, when I passed the test and they gave me my certificate, it was the first time in my teen or young adult years that I actually felt proud of myself. And it was the first time that I had actually worked really hard for five weeks to learn the material because he was practicing with me to ask me how the questions for real estate. And so I practiced and I. And I realized maybe I'm not dumb. Maybe I can do this. It was the first opening of the window of possibility for me. And it was because he challenged me to not have stories and excuses and reasons and to have that as my fallback position. So I wasn't committed because I really didn't know what it was like to be committed. So even though I blurted it out of my mouth, he helped me understand what commitment means. And that has been the story of my life because, you know, I've achieved some pretty neat things, but I've also failed, but always committed to what I want to achieve more than I am, to the reasons of failure. And so, yeah, it's interesting.

That gives me chills, actually, you talking about that. It's. It's when people, they. A lot of people say that they're committed, even though deep down they're probably interested. Once they start seeing that result and are able to reinforce that with consistency and sometimes having a mentor there to be able to hold their hand and move them forward to that point at which they start to get results, then they can believe it, and then you're able to let them be to do it on their own. Was there a specific book or two that Mr. Brown shared with you that helped reinforce everything about mindset and resilience? And it sounds like resourcefulness was another really big thing that you learned from his mentorship.

Yeah, there were a couple of types of books that he helped me with, one of which you know very well, that was Think and Grow Rich back In the early 80s, it was even more of a classic and being handed out more than it is today, which it should be handed out today. And, you know, in the movie or in the book Think and Grow Rich, you know, the theme was, you become what you think about most. And I remember after reading it, I said to Mr. Brown, I said, I think I'm gonna become a. Because I was 19 years old. He started to chuckle and laugh, but I remember having dialogues with him about what does it really mean? You become what you think about most. And I remember him sharing with me, he says, if your dominant thoughts are on your vision and your goals and how you can, and then you pursue how you can, then you'll likely achieve it. But if your dominant thoughts are on having a vision, a goal, and. And your dominant thoughts are on why you can't, he goes, you pursue all the reasons why you can't. He says, so this, he used to call it the razor's edge. You know, the razor's edge he said wasn't in goal setting. The razor's edge was in which part of the goal achieving process you determined or decided to believe and follow. So if you believe that it's possible, and if you believe that it's possible for you because you upgrade your knowledge, you upgrade your skills, you upgrade your belief in yourself and your self confidence, you'll achieve every goal in the world. But if you're hyper focused on why you can't and why it's not possible for you because of your age or your color of your skin or your knowledge or your skills, you'll give yourself all the reasons of why you can't. He says this razor's edge, he says you can train yourself to see the reasons why it may be hard or not possible and then you can train yourself to see how it is possible and then you can learn how to choose which one you're going to follow. And so I just learned this skill of yeah, both positive and negative exists, both why I can't and why I can exist and which one I choose to focus on every day, every week, every month will determine the outcome.

Yeah, it's so powerful. And a lot of people when they have that journey of trying to achieve some type of self mastery, I feel like one of the biggest misconceptions is they think, alright, I'm going to reach certain target and then nothing bad will ever happen to me ever again. As you know and I know that these, you know, sometimes life has a funny way of throwing you a curveball. You mentioned some of the challenges that you've had growing up and I know you had, you know, everyone has challenges as they get older too. What's the biggest adversity you've had that you were able to find an equivalent benefit or advantage in?

Oh wow. One of the things that I'm so grateful for today because it actually is one of the reasons why I'm where I'm at today. When I was 22, I had developed, I was focusing on success, making money. My father was a cab driver, my mother worked at a local department store. They always fought about the lack of money. And he was a gambler and you know, he would make $100 in a day and then end up owing people. He gambled with $200. So there were fights and screams and so I was really, I just hated fighting about money or listening to the fights about money. And the lack of. And always feeling like we didn't have enough because we didn't. We had enough for food and shelter. It was never a problem with that, but it was never enough for more. And it was always these arguments and trying to get money from here to pay that. And it was, you know, joke is, there was always too much month left at the end of the money instead of too much money left at the end of the month. And when I was 22, I was working really hard to succeed. With Alan Brown's help, I made 30,000 my first year in real estate. By upgrading my knowledge and skills, I made 151,000 my second year. And then I went traveled around the world. And then when I came back, I was working really hard to make money again. I ended up with ulcerative colitis, severe ulcerative colitis. So I had ulcers in my colon, which means if you have ulcers in your colon, means that you've got inflammation of the colon. I had bleeding ulcers in my colon. So it was very painful. And I had no bowel control. So for a year, I was taking 25 Salaza Pyrin pills a day. I was doing two cortisone enemas a day. I was going to the hospital once a month to do a sigmoidoscopy, which means they stuck a tube up your rectum to see what's going on there, see if the medications are working. And after a year, plus over a year of being sick, I was watching a TV show and I watched something about this topic called psychoneuroimmunology. And in layman's terms, this is the body mind connection. And these doctors that were on the TV show were saying that there's a lot of new evidence around the thoughts that you're having, how it affects yourselves, obviously the behaviors, your stress. If you're focusing on dis ease, you create more dis ease. If you're focusing on health, you create more health. And coming back to this Napoleon Hill, think and grow rich in that area. It's like, think and grow healthy. I started to research what was the cause of the colitis. And then I started focusing on, okay, let me get a health affirmation. My body and all its organs were created by the infinite intelligence of my subconscious mind. It created all my muscles, bones, tissues and organs. It knows how to heal me and make me whole and perfect. Now grateful am I for the healing powers are taking place within me. I am now perfectly healthy. I wrote out this Affirmation every day I read it, I visualized it, I meditated on it, I changed my diet, changed to working out and exercising. And so between affirmations, visualizations, declarations, meditation, proper eating, etc. Five weeks later, all of my symptoms went away. And so here I am at 23 years old. I went from being unhealthy to the point where they were talking to me about removing a portion of my colon. I'm like, I'm freaking 23 years old. I'm not going to have part of my colon removed. So the mental and emotional rehearsal and practice of being in a state of at ease versus dis ease helped me realize there's a lot of power in that brain of mine. And so I have been researching the power of the human brain for over 38 years. First because of a health issue with me, and then I started to look at, well, if you can train your brain to be healthy, can you train your brain to have the belief that you can build a billion dollar company? And I did that. And can you train your brain to, you know, to help others and created brain training programs, you know, for winning them of money, winning the game of business, winning game of fear, winning game of procrastination, winning the game of weight loss. Because it's all what's going on between the conscious and subconscious mind. So at 22 came my fascination with the human brain. And then I've built companies and I've helped employees and I've helped hundreds of thousands of people with what I've discovered over the years and written books and things about that.

Yeah, there's that Steve Jobs quote that says you can never connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking back. Only connect them looking back. And I bet at that time that felt like, you know, the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to you. And yeah, to be able to, you know, build the amazing career that you have as a result of using that as a big lesson. And having lived through that, having been able to create these things and manifest these visualizations is really powerful. What do you do to stop and smell the roses these days? You're obviously trying to make a bigger and bigger impact. You've already achieved so much. But what do you do to sit there and say, wow, you know what I'm saying? Happy and grateful for where I'm at?

Well, first and foremost, every day I start off with gratitude and I end the day with gratitude. I have a really good process and rituals to be able to enjoy the moment as I'm setting bigger and bigger goals and what I want and how much I want to give and be and all that stuff. I'm living in the moment as well. I meditate every day. I practice mindfulness all day long. I have alarm on my cell phone that goes off at 55 minutes past each hour for me to stop and breathe and to get centered and to be in the state of appreciation. I spend time with my wife, my children, my family, my friends. That's actually what I put into my calendar first before I do any work. And so for me, it's not about, you know, what, what else am I going to acquire. For me, it's more about what else can I contribute, how else can I make a difference on the planet, on the animals, the plants, planet Earth, people's lives, so that I can share my journey with them in a way that positively impacts them. And in that, I get an enormous amount of gratification.

A lot of people know about vision boards. One of the things you mention a lot is the achievement board. Can you give a bit of an overview of what an achievement board is for people who aren't familiar with that?

Sure. So it looks like that. So on my exceptional life blueprint, and so I have an exceptional life coaching program that everybody goes through the process of writing down what they want or what they've accomplished, you know, on their vision board. But the idea behind the vision board is this is what I aspire to have, do be, give, et cetera. But an accomplishment board is something very few people, you know, put in place. And that is, what are all the things that you've accomplished? People go, well, why would you want a list of that? And the answer is, because it's a great reminder of the things you've already done, many of which probably came with big obstacles, right, or little obstacles. Now, there's another reason for that, and I always have my plastic brain on the table here. When we look at the stuff that we've accomplished, we actually fire off a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens and insula part of the brain, which releases a little hit of dopamine. And so when I release a little bit of dopamine, that part of our brain actually activates the motor cortex, part of our brain as well. Now, why is that important? Well, when I am motivated, I have motive for action. And if I can remind myself, look at all the things that you've done, look at all the things that you've overcome, look at all the people you've helped or the products You've created the services you have, the places you've been, or the things you've bought or given, whatever the case might be, you are activating that motivational circuit that wants you to actually do more of the things that helped you create the success you want. And it doesn't matter if you think about, I learned how to ride a bike, I learned the English language, I graduated from grade 10. It doesn't make a difference. You know, I brushed my teeth this morning. Anytime we activate that circuit in our brain, we actually reinforce that circuit. And we then can become addicted, you know, to doing the things that are necessary in order to achieve goals, including overcoming obstacles and failure. Because most of us do not have this rocket ship ride, you know, straight up to success. If you ever take a look at a map of people who climb Everest, right? Everything's, you know, you're on the basin, there's Everest up there, and you climb up, oh no, it's left, right, down, up, across this way. And that's what the life and success is like. And so I like to remind myself of the things that, you know, I've already accomplished as opposed to all the things that aren't working. It's so easy for us. And I call it activating. Not the Einstein brain, which is the imagination and the vision and the planning part of our brain, but the Frankenstein monster that goes, you can't, because, you know, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're too young, you're too old. What if you fail? What if you succeed? What if you're embarrassed? What if you're ashamed? That's a part of our brain that's active all day long, way more than Einstein is. And so by looking at and having my accomplished board and vision board right here next to me every day, I could just get a little hit of dopamine to help me get focused on the things I want to do and need to do.

Interesting. So it's an evidence based check in. I love it. And that's the perfect segue, actually, to talk more about things on the performance side too. I just finished your awesome new book, Inner Size, which is just a fantastic overview of the, the human brain. What's the biggest misconception that people have about the brain?

Well, I think a lot of people still think that we only use 5 or 7% of our brain, and that's not true. We use 100% of our brain and the neural networks and the patterns that exist within it. And every one of us has the Ability to double, triple, quintuple the capacity. I mean, way more than that. So I think that's misconception number one. Misconception number two is that change is hard. And change is hard if you don't have the right process. Change is easier, not easy easier if you have the right process. So you know, the brain is made up of circuits that turn on or off. So if you think about your computer, right, you can go from one software program to the other. And our brain has circuits and networks. So networks that turn on and off, circuits that turn on and off. And most people just don't know how to turn on or off. Whether it's their motivational circuit or their fear or stress or uncertainty circuit. They are victims of what their brain has been conditioned to do instead of being masters of change and using their brain. And since I don't believe that we are our brain, I believe that we have a brain. And our brain is an organism, not an organ. So an organism can grow, can develop, can do things all right. And once it learns how to do things, it does more of those things. We can deliberately and consciously evolve ourselves way more rapidly than ever thought possible. So the reason I wrote the new science to unlock your brains in power is not to teach people about their brain as much as to show them that they've got the most powerful trillion dollar organism that they already own. And with a little bit of the user's manual of how do I do X, Y or Z? How do I become aware of fears and then release them? How do I become aware that maybe my self image or self esteem is holding me back and how to change that? Or how to become aware of the limiting beliefs that you have, Realizing that limiting beliefs are nothing more than patterns in your brain that have been reinforced. They're not right or wrong, but they may be constructive or destructive. And you have the ability to deactivate a pattern in your brain and create a brand new one that you can reinforce. And that becomes the new default or automatic part of you that's more empowering. So that's the fascinating part and why I wrote the book, is you don't have to be a victim of your traumas, your past, your limited beliefs, your self esteem or fears. You can be victorious over them. But you have to have the right process. And in the absence of the right process, you know, I have Rubik's Cubes. I'm a Rubik's Cube fanatic. If you want to solve this Rubik's Cube, you just need to know the algorithms. Now, this one might take you 24 hours to do once it was totally messed up. But a 2x2 or 3x3 or 4x4, you can do it in minutes or seconds if you get good. And so in the absence of getting good, people are just randomly trying, and it's silly to try in a world where we have the answer and the how to for anything that you want to achieve.

Yeah, which is why people are so busy trying to work harder and run harder on that treadmill and they get the same, the same results. And it's, you know, there's so much to unpack about what you said there. Because in my experience, it's not really the motivation they struggle with or the goal setting they struggle with, or even the knowledge that people struggle with. It's that activity, the daily reps that they simply don't prioritize. What do people need to do to make sure they're getting that daily activity done so they can achieve their goals? Whether it is a weight loss goal or a financial goal or solving a Rubik's cube.

Sure. So I want to just back you up for just a moment. You also need to know what you need to do and when. So what you do and when and how is important. And for any goal, any goal that we have now in our time, all the how to already exists. Unless you're trying to colonize Mars or you're Elon Musk trying to figure out how to, you know, use rocket ships, you know, more than once, you really don't have to be innovative. So any goal for health, wealth relations, career or business, we already know the how. So the first part that you have to know is, do I really want to achieve goal X and am I committed? If I'm committed, then the next step is great. What do I need to believe in order to achieve that goal? What do I need to believe about myself and that goal? Got it. What are the behaviors that I need to take today, tomorrow, the next day, the next day after that? So I need to know what do I need to do? So I need to find out what is the skill that I need to have. Then I need to understand what could get in my way. So what could get in my way? Well, what can get in my way is, you know, something can happen in the economy, okay. Something weird, something unusual, or something known that can get in my way. Then what am I going to do if that happens? So I need a contingency plan if that happens. And then I'm going to ask about Developing the daily habits to make that process repeatable so that you are doing those things every single day. So we need beliefs and we need habits and we need the right strategies. The other piece is managing emotions on a day to day basis. Because as we are looking to achieve greater and greater goals, the stress or fear or uncertainty circuits in our brain, they are going to get activated. And when they get activated, the first thing that happens is the motivational center actually closes down, the thinking center closes down and we spend the time on all of the things that are causing us to have these fears or uncertainties. So I have to learn how to self regulate specifically my emotions because they are the triggers by which our brain just tells us that something dangerous may be laying or lurking in the background. There might be an emotional or mental or financial or physical trigger that is triggering in our brain where we might have a loss or a painful experience. So anytime we are growing, this part of our brain is hyperactive. And so we have to learn how to recognize that this trigger has happened and then we have to learn what to do about it. So once we learn those few pieces, we can achieve just about any goal that we, that we have.

Yeah, I love it. You know, most of my career has been about studying human performance, as yours has. And I remember as a young idealist, I naively thought that I could positively change every single person's life who I came into contact with. But I had a situation several years ago where someone I was trying to lift up, I learned the hard way that sometimes those you're trying to lift up can sometimes end up pulling you down without even you consciously being aware of it until a long time down the track. And eventually, for my own well being, I had to distance myself from that person. Have you ever had anything like that happen to you? An experience like that? And if so, how did you handle it?

Yeah, I mean, being in the, in the, you know, personal development, professional development arena for many, many years, I've on many occasions worked harder at helping somebody achieve a goal than they have. But that brings me back to a couple of things that I've discovered over the years. First and foremost, help the people who want to help, not the people who need the help. That's one. Number two, don't be in the convincing business. Because if you've got to convince somebody, then they're not sold on themselves doing it. And then number three is there's nobody that I work with without me asking the question, are you interested or are you committed? They tell me they're Committed and they're willing to do whatever it takes and be radically honest with themselves and radically honest with what they do or don't do, then I'm willing to help you. But anybody else, I have no interest to invest or that's to spend my time. Right. I want to invest my time in helping people achieve their goals. I don't want to spend my time trying to talk somebody into what they should be doing.

Yeah, good point. I love that. Well, you've mentioned before in previous interviews how you did, and actually earlier here in this one as well, how you did some things when you were a teenager that we that were perhaps a little bit unethical. I would put myself in that same boat as I'm sure a lot of people did stupid things when they were young that they're not proud of. Why are we haunted by things in our past that bring us shame in the present? Whether that's something that we might have done personally or something that's been happened to us, some type of trauma.

If we haven't worked on our self image and self worth and self esteem, then those things can embarrass us or cause us to feel ashamed, which is blame turned inwards. And so I've done things, you know, in my teens that, I mean you wouldn't believe. Crazy, crazy, stupid things that I'm not proud of today. But I forgave myself a long time ago for those things. I created a healthy self image, but also healthy respect and understanding for traumas, for errors in judgment, for stupidity, for things that like really you did that or you didn't do that and forgave myself, you know, for those things and then have made restitution by doing a lot of good stuff to balance all of those things out. One of the things that I teach in the book is an exercise called Aya A I A and Aya is around. It's called Aya for awareness, intention, action. And one of the first and best ways to grow as a human being is to practice awareness. So awareness of my thoughts, my feelings, my sensations, emotions, behavior, results, my past, my present, the future. Be an awareness of the thoughts that are going on. And if you can start to become more aware of the past, the present and the future without judgment, blame, shame, guilt or justification. No judgment, no blame, no shame, no guilt or justification, just pure awareness. And be in a state of acceptance of whatever is, is, whatever was, was, and then surrender to it and allow. That puts you in a state of growth versus a state of going into the past and bringing forth a disempowering thought or emotion or the meaning that you gave something or give something back then or now that can disempower you. And so why not give yourself permission to have made plenty of mistakes, forgive yourself, and then say, what am I doing right now? And so we live in the moment. We use the past as guidance posts, not a hitching post. As our friend Tony Robbins said many, many years ago.

What I love about what you said there is that we always have the ability to be able to create that restitution for something that we might feel bad about. So, you know, some type of bad thing that we might have done in the past can actually be used as a bit of rocket fuel to help make us do some much better good in the future.

Yeah. And you know what? Almost every single person that's experienced some kind of a trauma that has. They've taken that trauma and they've made something out of it. The one core bridge between all of them is they said, because of that, I chose to be better, to use it to become more, to help others, to make sure I don't or they don't experience that. And there's other people that, because of that trauma or that thing they did, they say, oh my God, because of that, I'm gonna hold myself playing small. So it ends up being that the meaning you give it will determine how you feel, and how you feel determines what you do or don't do. So is it possible to give something from your past that you are embarrassed, ashamed of, traumatized by? Is it possible to give that thing a meaning that will actually empower you and inspire you versus expire and disempower you? And the answer is, not only is it possible, that's what every single person does. And so why not do it for yourself?

We're interesting times at the moment. And I mean, there are so many people, their mood and productivity each day is malleable by what they see on the news or whoever's in the White House. We're in a pretty unique time now with COVID where there's a lot more fear and anger and things like negativity than there would be normally. What can people do to avoid this negativity creeping in from external sources?

So whenever we say because of that Covid, the news, the government, this political party or that party, because of them, blankety blank me, we're taking all the control and putting it out there, right? And so what if you could turn off your TV if it's not empowering you? What if you could be neutral and in a state of observation and asking, how can I take this opportunity to be more focused, more empathetic, more compassionate, more productive, instead of just active or unproductive, how can I use this as a fertile opportunity to become an adaptationist, which is what I've been teaching all of my clients for six months now. Adapt. Adapt. Adapt. Adapt. Adapt. Adapt. What if that gave you more confidence, more certainty that you could endure anything, anytime, anywhere, no matter what? Oh, didn't think of that. Well, when's the best time to practice resiliency and focus? When you have to? Well, the best time was before you had to, but now that you have the opportunity, all right, how can you observe whatever it is that there is to observe and see more than just that? How do you teach yourself to see the polar opposite of that? What's the good impact? You can practice that right now. What is it doing in our society now? Listen, I don't want to. I don't want to downplay Covid. I don't want to downplay all the deaths I happen to have. My mother died because of coronavirus, and a dear friend died because of coronavirus. So it's really close to my heart, so I know the severity of what I'm talking about. When there's a predator that's real at the door, and there's a chance of death right at your door, you can still be personally responsible to reducing your own risk. My wife and I and our family members, we've been hyper focused on health and immune system buildup and staying healthier now than we even did before teaching people. You know, one of the biggest problems with COVID whether you get it and you're susceptible to dying from it, is are you healthy? Do you have underlying conditions that are healthy? Do you have diabetes? Do you have heart disease? Do you have a pulmonary disease? Why not start getting healthy now? Because you should anyway. So you can use it as a way to springboard into being healthier and increasing your ability to fight off any virus if you happen to get it. So everything has got a polarity to it, right? There's. You can't have an up without a down and inside, without an outside and upside. You just can't have white without black or light without. It's. So the polarity always exists. But if we allow ourselves to get hyper focused on the disempowering thing or the negative thing that we are giving meaning to, then we are not focusing on its polar opposite of what can I do about it? How Can I grow from this? How can I become better, Be more, have more. So when we get hyper focused on these external things and we give them these disempowering meanings, then we're victims of them. And I don't want people to be a victim. We have a lift.

Now let's move into what we call the win the day rocket round where we ask 10 questions for some quick answers. You ready for this one?

Let's do it.

Number one, what quote inspires you the most?

Do more of what you love, less of what you tolerate, none of what you hate.

Love it. Number two, Morning coffee or evening wine?

Morning espresso. I haven't had alcohol in 12 years.

Perfect.

I used to love wine.

Number three, what's one bit of advice you would give your 18 year old self?

Don't do as many drugs.

Number four, what book do you gift the most?

It's called you Squared by Price Pritchett and it's a small little book that's about 35 pages and it is a phenomenal little compilation on how to have a quantum leap in your life.

I love it. We'll include a link to that in the show notes. Number five, was there a vulnerability you once hid within that became your superpower?

Definitely being embarrassed about my health issue and all the stuff that I thought about myself that became my superpower is to deal with that kind of stuff head on. It gave me the beginning of looking at cause versus effect. Everything that I do now, when something works or doesn't work, I learned how to focus on what's causing this result. Every result is an effect. So absolutely. That for sure.

Yeah. It puts everything into perspective, doesn't it? When your health falls by the wayside. Number six, what's one thing you've learned about failure?

I mean, it's such a almost a weird question to me in as much as it's kind of like saying to a baker, what's the one thing you learned about flour or yeast? It's kind of like part of the how you make bread, you know, so it's like it's part of the equation. Right. And so no big deal.

Yeah. Such an essential step and you know, failure.

Failure doesn't mean I am a failure. Right. And failure just means something that I tried, did or didn't do. Didn't work or worked or didn't work.

Yeah. It's interesting, you're talking about the dichotomies before of life, light and dark. You can't have success without the failure too impossible.

It's Just impossible.

Yeah. Number seven, if you could sit on a park bench and have a conversation with someone alive or dead, who would it be?

Alive or dead? Probably Einstein.

You'd have a great chat about the human brain. You might be able to offer him some.

Yeah, I happen to be fascinated with astronomy and cosmology as well and quantum physics. So the brain is the electromagnetic switching station that allows that. And so I'd want to understand, you know, some of his processes for using that imagination so well, but then understanding, you know, the very, very, very tiny. I mean, to think about, you know, light and speed and what it's like to know what would it be like if you can travel on a light beam at the speed of light? Like, it's like. Yeah, it'll be a fascinating conversation.

Number eight, what tool or resource best helps you run your life or your business?

So, tool or resource? I mean, my Cal, I run everything off of my calendar. So, you know, the. My mobile phone is my little, you know, my little gateway to my whole world. But I use a combination now of Slack for my team, Asana for our projects, and then Zoom. So that's kind of like our tech stack where I can keep everything integrated, but then also Google, you know, Google Docs, Google sheets to have everything in one place that I need it. Those are my 4Tech stack.

Yeah. Love it. Number nine, share one thing on your.

Bucket list to see the earth from the moon.

Awesome. And number 10, final question, what's one thing you do to win the day?

Meditate first thing in the morning and inner size first thing every single morning. And I'll give you a bonus one. I review and listen to many pieces of my exceptional life blueprint.

Yeah, fantastic. Well, there are a bunch of ways to connect with John and we'll link to all of these in the show notes. You can follow him on Instagram, on Assaraf, check out his mindset business@myneurogym.com There's a whole bunch of resources there available to help you. You can grab a copy of his awesome new book Inner Size on Amazon. And again, all of that and more will be linked into the show notes. John, thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you, James. Appreciate you doing your homework and having such a great show. Hey, this is John, and if you like that video, watch the next video because it is packed with things that you can do right now to achieve success way faster than ever before.