A short spoken-tip video by John Assaraf advising viewers to make their default response to requests for time or help 'no' and then shift to 'yes' when appropriate. He argues this preserves time for personal goals and priorities (health, relationships, work) and prevents wasting time on others' agendas; he qualifies that urgent needs should still get a 'yes'.
Chapters
This is John Asrap, New York Times best selling author of Having it all and the answer. Now, I've got a question for you. Do you get asked by a lot of people, you know, to help them do this or take a look at that, or they're looking for your opinion, or they're wanting a little bit of your time for something that they're trying to achieve or do? Well, I get asked all day long, every day, whether it's at home with my kids and my wife, or it's my friends or it's my students or friends around the world that I don't even know. You know, an opinion for some help for some time for some money for some of something. And many years ago, I learned from a friend of mine, Alex, to start saying no, make your default answer no. Now that may sound a little selfish or rude or crass, but think about this for a moment. When somebody's asking you to help them, that's because there's something that's either important to them or they think it's important to them that they want to get done. But it also means that if you take time to say yes to everybody, you're going to take away from what you have to get done, what your goals are, what your dreams are and what your aspirations are. And so if you start by saying, no, I don't have time right now, and stay focused on your goals, a few things happen. You stop wasting time on other people's agendas that may or may not be as important as what you're trading your life for every single day. Now, I don't want you to become a hard ass or anything like that, but just think about the concept of starting with no and, and then moving to yes instead of always saying, sure, I can help, yeah, I could do that, yes, I could be there. And taking away from the time that you need in order to focus on your health, your own wealth, your charitable contributions, your relationship, your connection to God, whatever it is that's really important to you. So if you start with no and then move to yes, then you can really become highly effective with your time and be on purpose and get the fulfillment you need in order to achieve your own goals. And so start with no as your default, move to yes. And also, if somebody really, really needs your help because it's something urgent, say yes, but start with no as your default and you'll become highly effective, highly efficient, and more importantly, you won't waste your time on other people's reaction or other people's needs for time that may be able to wait until a later date or they can figure out on their own. I hope you enjoyed that little tip. It's made a huge difference in my life.
