Overcome Fear So You Can Earn More, Live More, and Give More

Hey, good morning. I hope you are doing amazing. And I just want to make sure that you can hear me and see me. I've got a little different location today. I'm at home right now, and I am heading to Cabo San Lucas to do a keynote for one of the top mortgage companies in Canada today. And so I'm here at home and I'm going to be doing this for about 30 minutes, then we are going to take off. And so here's a question for you. Just let's make sure you can hear me and see me, okay? And we're all good with our tech team over here. I've got my tech team here at the house. And so I'm broadcasting live from San Diego. So today we're going to talk about fear. And the reason I want to get into this topic around fear is number one, most people don't understand what fear is from a neurological perspective and how it really just puts the brakes on most people's ability to be motivated to take action. And it puts the brakes on people's goals and dreams. And when you understand fear and what happens on the inside, it may answer a whole bunch of your questions and as to why you may have goals and dreams that you want to achieve, but why you may not take action consistently. And so think of your brain for just a moment in terms of circuits, your brain is just a series of neural activity that repeats itself over and over and over again. And it's based on different circuits. So we have a motivational circuit, we have a feedback circuit, we have a spiritual circuit, we have a desire to acquire circuit in the brain. And so before we get started, and I share with you, I've got about five slides for you. I want to ask you a question. What fear is holding you back? And I'll show you a list of a bunch of fears because there's over 50 different types of fears. And I'll show you a list in just a second. But what types of fears hold you back? And so let me say hi to a few of you first. And that's, hey, Vanessa. Namaste. And Birgit from Germany. V. Gates. And Carla and Katie from the middle of the uk And Consuelo, nice to have you on. And again, tell me where you're from. From India. Alfie. Great. And just so you know, Chase, my screen has just is frozen, but not sure why. Just make sure. Let me know you can hear me and see me. Okay? We're talking about fear today and how to recognize and then overcome your Fears. All right. Hi there, Maria. Hey there, Deb. Nice to, nice to have you all. Fear of rejection. I got that. So fear of rejection is one. What else do we have? What kind of fears do you think there are? What about fears of success? What about fears of being judged? What about fears. Finish the sentence. Fears of. There's over 50 different types of fears, but what they do neurologically is crazy and how it holds people back. So I'm going to give you a four step process, a simple four step process to recognize them and then to release them. So fears are what we're talking about. Overcoming them is what we're talking about. So let me just show you something. And again, I'm doing a little manual control here today. So here's a list of a bunch of fears. All right, so hold on one second. We're having a little technical challenge right now, but we'll overcome that in a quick second. Right, Chase, something's happening on our computer. We're trying to show you a slide right now. But let me, you know, while the slide comes on, let me just share with you. There's fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being smart enough, fear of not being worthy, fear of disappointment, which is trying your best, failing and then disappointing yourself or another individual. But when we think about fear first. So let's understand the difference between fears and emotions. So fears are processed at the non conscious level of the brain. And then fears sends a signal to your conscious mind and through your body. That's called a feeling. So fear is processed at the non conscious level and then it sends a signal or an electrical followed by a chemical release in the body that causes a feeling. Now, feelings are pleasant or unpleasant to varying degrees. Here is something you really must understand. Pay close attention. When we have an unpleasant emotion or feeling caused by our fear of failing and being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed or a fear of disappointing ourselves or somebody else again. The first neural circuit that activates is part of the amygdala loop. What is that? Amygdala is the emotional response center in the brain that once it gets activated and the fear signal is sent through the body, then that emotion, the energy in motion, is unpleasant for most people. Why? Well, because usually epinephrine or cortisol or norepinephrine, the stress hormones that are released by the brain into the body, is almost like a little caffeine buzz that creates a little bit of anxiety and tension. And when we as human beings feel this anxiety and tension, guess what we want to do? We want to move away from that as quickly as possible. So if you have a goal that you want to achieve, but there is risk of failing or of succeeding and failing, or of disappointing yourself, or of being judged or of being ridiculed, the brain processes that possibility as a painful experience. Now why is this important to know? Well, your brain and my brain is wired for safety first and for the, for moving quickly away from any real or imagined pain. So the pain could be physical pain, spiritual pain, emotional pain, mental pain, or financial pain. That is how the brain works. So the circuit, when the fear circuit lights up, what happens is the left prefrontal cortex, the left part of your brain, which is the genius part of your brain, it basically just shuts down and activates the right prefrontal cortex, which focuses on everything in your memory bank, in your brain, the hippocampus, and any potential danger that you've read about, that you've experienced, that you've seen, that you've heard, is what is brought forth to your conscious awareness. And when that happens, guess what? The motivational circuit, the anterior cingulate and the insula which is responsible for motivation, which is responsible to get you to take action and move forward, basically gets shut down. So if you think about motivation is having the gas on the pedal moving forward. And when the motivational circuit shut off, the brake goes on and the fear circuit lights up. And what most people don't know how to do, and they haven't learned yet what to do, is what happens when that motivational circuit gets the brakes. What happens when you're excited about your goals, but the motive fear center kicks in? When the fear center kicks in, what you need to remember is that something neurologically has happened that's causing self doubt, that's causing this unpleasant emotion, that's causing you to procrastinate, that's causing you to rationalize, which is what you telling yourself rational lies, why you shouldn't take action, why it's dangerous, why it's too risky. So what you have to be aware of is the sensations in your body because fear is absolutely normal when you're out of your comfort zone. Fear is absolutely normal. When you've tried things in the past and it hasn't worked out and you've either financially, emotionally, mentally or physically been hurt because of that, or if you've been ridiculed or you've been judged or you've been ashamed, okay. Or any of the emotions, the energy in Motion that is causing you not to take action. Now, when we feel fear, most people have an automatic reaction to fear. Fear for most people means stop. But fear to people who've learned how to recognize fear means let me be aware of what it is, why it's being caused, why is that emotion there? Why am I procrastinating, why am I not taking action? And fear could be turned into fuel for success. Every single person, I don't care how successful you have been, when you try to overcome a past failure or you try to overcome a past negative, I'm going to call it negative experience where your identity has been questioned, whether you're questioning your validity of whether you're smart enough, whether you're good enough, whether you're worthy enough, whether you're prepared to disappoint yourself or somebody else. Again, we're dealing with self esteem and self worth issues. So there's a complex set of rules in the brain. I'm calling them rules that when we feel fear, most people put the brakes on. But highly successful people recognize when fear is holding them back. And then they learn how to put the gas on to move forward and use the neurochemicals, the hormones of epinephrine, cortisol and norepinephrine to actually fuel them forward. So instead of allowing the fear circuit to put the brake on your success, you want to learn how to activate the motivational circuit. And that is really what I'm here to teach you. And again, I'm going to go for about another 18 minutes because I've got to get to the airport this morning to head to Cabo San Lucas. So let's talk a little bit about how do you put all of this together. For those of you that are just joining me, if you like this so far, or if you've been with me for about 10, 12 minutes right now, hit the like or the love button and share this with others so we can pay it forward and get more people to understand fear and how to overcome it. For those of you that just joined, we're talking about fear and we're talking about how do you use fear as your fuel for success. And I'm going to show you a four step process. It's called the 4R process to overcoming fears so you can achieve success. So hopefully this makes a little bit of sense right now. It's all based in the latest neuroscience research. And for those of you who want to go deeper into this, I've got a, a training on turning fear into fuel. My team will Put a little link for you that you can sign up. Watch the about an hour and a half training that's going to go deeper than I'm going to go into today. And you'll be able to learn how to retrain your brain to overcome fear. But right now, just so you know, my slides are not working here on my computer, but I'm just going to. I can see them, but they're not getting uploaded to you. But let me share with you a 4R process for recognizing, reframing, releasing, and retraining your brain. So the first thing that you have an amazing ability to do is to recognize patterns. Your brain is a pattern recognition machine. It's consistently looking for thought patterns, emotional patterns, behavioral patterns within you, but also all around you. And it really works in an amazing fashion that when you have a thought pattern that you repeat over and over and over again, or an emotional pattern that's repeated over and over and over again, and then you have a behavioral pattern that is repeated whether you take action or you don't. After a little bit of time, you know, 20, 30, 40, 50 repetitive patterns, your brain says, hey, since you're doing this on a regular basis, instead of using up a whole bunch of energy from your conscious mind, your willpower, your persistence, your desired mind, I'm just going to turn this into an automatic pattern that requires no thought on your part. Think about your autonomic nervous system. You got your sympathetic nervous system, your parasympathetic nervous system. You've got the part of your brain that is operating without you even thinking about it. Well, goals, when you want to achieve them, initially take conscious effort, but through repetition, you develop a habit. And then a habit needs no thought. It needs no introduction. And so one of the things that is really critical in overcoming fears is first to recognize your pattern. So are you thinking on a consistent basis? Okay. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of succeeding. I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm afraid of not being worthy. I'm afraid I'm not skilled enough. I'm afraid of not good enough. I'm afraid of not having the education. I'm afraid I'm too white, too black, too tall, too short to fill in the blank. Whatever your thought pattern is, is the precursor to emotions. Thought creates an electrical signal. The electrical signal releases the chemical, the chemicals released in the body. You have a feeling. If the feeling is pleasant, you move towards it. If a feeling is unpleasant, you move away from it. So when you are consciously or even non Consciously thinking about all the negative potential consequences and how you might be ridiculed or ashamed or embarrassed or how you might lose money or time or self esteem or self worth or reputation. Whenever that thought at the conscious or unconscious level and is percolating in your brain, the emotion, the energy in motion, 100 trillion cells in your body are going to try to stop you put the brake on motivation. Stop stops, fear centers kicked in and then you stay in your comfort zone. Does this make sense? First and foremost, does this make sense? Because I'm explaining to you what's happening in here and in your body that's stopping you cold from achieving your goals and dreams. Because if it makes sense, all right, then we're going to continue and are we good, Chase? All right, so we're just checking on our, on our connection here. And again I'm at home and we had really good connection before when we were testing. And so the first thing to realize is you have to practice the first R of the 4R process and that is to recognize, okay, what are the negative or unpleasant thoughts that are releasing neurochemical that's causing you to put the brake on. So what are your thoughts, what are the emotions and what are the behaviors that are happening right now? So recognize is your ability to stop. Just be calm and think about what am I thinking on a day to day, moment by moment, hour by hour basis? What am I feeling? Are my feelings motivational feelings or are my feelings fear based feeling? Am I fearful of a negative consequence on my reputation, my emotion, my finances? Because if you are focusing on fear, fear will squash your goals and dreams. But if you're focusing on turning your fears into fuel, then what you want to do is, is from the recognition, you have to reframe the fear. Let me explain to you. So it's recognize and it could be release or reframe. I'm going to talk to you about reframe first. So if you take a fear of failure, if you take a fear of success, you take a fear of disappointment. Once you recognize the inner dialogue and the emotion, change your self, talk, reframe, frame your self talk from I used to fear failure and now I'm learning how to turn it into my fuel for success. So I'm going to take one action step towards the goal that I want. Reduce the fear to one ridiculous action step towards the goal and dream. Reduce the fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being smart enough, fear of fill in the blank. You reframe it by using a language that says, I used to fear blank and now I'm learning how to turn my fear to fuel. And I'm taking one action step that's called a reframe. So that's one reframe around a fear. But let's say you have a fear, okay, of asking for a raise. Now when you have a fear of asking for a raise, you really don't have a fear, for example, of asking for a raise. If you have a fear of being shut down, you have a fear of being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed. So here's what you do. You think about whatever the behavior is that you want to achieve or that you want to take, that'll help you move forward. And through breathing, six times as you're thinking about that behavior, you actually through six breaths, in and out, through your nose and out through your mouth. As you think about the behavior and you breathe in and out, you actually will shut down the fear center in the brain and you'll be able to observe the behavior in a calm state instead of in a state where the stress hormones have kicked in and you're in a fight or, or freeze or flee emotional reaction. So you reframe the behavior in a calm state and then you see yourself taking action. So it's recognize the thought, the emotion, recognize the stoppage of the behavior. Recognize what you are focusing on and what you are feeling. Reframe it by seeing it a different way. Release the emotion through the six breaths, which is the third R. Recognize, reframe, release through six breaths. I'm giving you some simple stuff. I'll give you more complex stuff in the advanced training that is going to be free. It's a virtual training that we're going to do on overcoming conscious and unconscious fears. And the link is already in, in the link over here or in the, in the comments. Comments. And so recognize, reframe, release. And then the fourth part is now you have to retrain your brain to focus on a couple of things. Number one is there's something called mental contrasting. What's mental contrasting? Mental contrasting is when you sit quietly and you experience the vision of what you want to do or achieve. You then take your fear, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being smart, whatever the fear is. And then you mentally see yourself with the fear and then overcoming it and achieving the goal. So the contrast is the fear, the emotion, the behavior, the mindset that that causes. And the self talk, it talks, it creates. And then you See yourself overcoming the fear and you play a mental game I call flip flop. One is observation and awareness of the fear. The other is you over overcoming it in your mind's eye first. So it's called mental contrasting. One is how the fear is holding you back. Two is how you're overcoming it. So that's one part of retraining your brain. A second part is through self talk. So if you recognize your fear, whatever the fear is, success, failure, embarrassment, shame, guilt, not being good enough, not being smart enough, not being, whatever the case, skilled enough. And you change your self talk to. I used to feel like blank. I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough. And now I'm learning how to feel good enough. Now I'm learning how to feel worthy. Now I feel like I can achieve the success I want and let go of my fear. Self talk. When you repeat, it creates a new pattern. Once you repeat that new pattern, 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 times, what does it do? Remember what I said earlier? Your brain recognizes language patterns, emotional patterns, mental patterns, and behavioral patterns and makes permanent or makes habitual anything that you repeat. So any language patterns you repeat through affirmations, through visualization, through meditation, through mental contrasting, through writing out your goals, through any type of retraining of a pattern is how you develop a new pattern that becomes a new habit. Behavior creates habit. Habit then creates behavior. Now here is the thing that is so critical, most people miss. According to the latest brain research, it takes about 66 days, not 21, not 7, not 14, not 30, about 66 days to create a pattern that is strong enough, a neural pattern that is strong enough to become a habit. Some patterns, yes, you can develop in two or three days. In two or three minutes, stick your finger in the socket, okay, where your electrical outlet is, and chances are you're going to develop a pattern that, that equates to pain. But if you want a new mental pattern, an emotional pattern, behavioral pattern, think in terms of repeating a pattern for at least 66 days. All of our clients, by the way, tens of thousands of clients, you know, in our communities that are rebuilding and retraining and re scripting our brains, commit to 100 days, 100 days of retraining their brain daily to create a pattern that then takes over any conscious effort. So how do you do that? Well, take time every single day, three to five minutes maybe, to start to being aware, recognize the fears. It's okay to recognize it. There's a big difference between recognizing it and focusing on the fears. You have recognize is awareness. Reframing the fear to something in the past or something you're breaking through opens up, okay, your brain to figure out how to achieve the success. The third R as we just talked about is releasing the tension that that fear causes neurologically and biologically and physiologically. Six breaths in and out. As you focus on the fear, you're going to lessen the strength of the neural pattern in a stressed out neurological state that causes you to put the brakes on your motivation or the natural break that is put on when your motivational circuit. Okay, is shut off. And then the fourth part is you retrain your brain through language patterns of self talk. You retrain your brain by focusing on the fear and through mental contrasting focusing on what you want to achieve in a calm state. You retrain your brain. Okay, through visualizing achieving that over and over again. You retrain your brain by meditating in a calm state. All of the benefits of overcoming the fear, of all the benefits of the lifestyle you want to live, all of the benefits that comes with you becoming the person that you are capable of becoming as you let go of fear and turn it into your fuel for success. Okay, so as I mentioned at the beginning of this session, I've got a car waiting for me to take me to Cabo San Lucas and then Montreal, Canada. And so if you want to go deeper into this with many more tools and really learning how to recognize, refrain, release and retrain, sign up for the upcoming virtual training that we've got and I'll share with you even more research on the brain. Remember one thing, repetition is the mother of learning and repetition is the mother of skill. And so if you want to learn more, if you want to be able to apply more, sign up, there's a link in the comments section if you like this, do me a favor, share what we've just done. It's been about 29 minutes of some really killer content and let's dive deeper into this on our virtual training and give me a like, give me a love, give me a high five and share this with, with your peeps and thank you so much. I love doing this. And by the way, the reason I'm so into the brain is in the last 500 years we've really been doing some real science, but it's only the last 15, 20 years where we're getting access into the brain through FMRI functional magnetic resonance imaging technology, inspect scans and a variety of different methodologies. And what we're learning is giving us the user's manual for the most powerful tool tool in the universe, your brain. And so let's use it better so that we reduce the fear, increase the motivation. As you upgrade your knowledge and your skills, you'll develop more confidence, more certainty, and more personal power to actually achieve every one of your goals and dreams. All right, I've got to hop into the car to go to Cabo San Lucas. It's raining here in San Diego, but it's going to be sunny over there, so thank you so much. Have an awes day. Hit the share button and leave me your comments below as well. And I look forward to seeing you on the on the deeper version of really overcoming your conscious and non conscious fears. All right, have a great day. Bye bye everyone.