Overcome Your Biggest Fear to Achieve Your Goals and Dreams

Hey there. Good morning. Maybe it's good afternoon or good evening for you, depending on where you are in the world. We're going to talk about how you can overcome your biggest fear so you achieve your goals and dreams faster and easier than ever before. And as always, I'm going to give you some of the latest brain based information tools techniques in order to be able to do what you need to do with your. Your emotion called fear, quickly and easily. Let me say hello to a few of you right now. Hi there, Shane. Jaciana from Cozumel. Hey, Jaciana. Ozzie. Hello there. So, fears, fears, fears. As I travel the world, I can't help but hear people's stories and excuses and inevitably, when we get into what really holds people back, one of the four key things is fears. If you agree that fear holds maybe you back or a lot of people hit the like or the love button, tell me. Yeah, John, fear holds me back. And I want to really understand that fear is normal. That's number one. But if you believe that fear holds you back, I'm taking a look at who's joining us. Hello there. Charlotte's from Sweden and faerie. Hey there. Jasiana again. Nancy, British Columbia, sunny B.C. unusual, depending on where you are. Right. So what is the number one fear? What's the number one fear that holds you back? Let's see if I could take, you know, one or two of your fears and let's. Let's see if we can squash them. All right? What's the number one fear that holds you back? Hey there, Ozzy. Marcy. Good morning from Palm Beach. Megan from cozy, rainy San Diego. Yes, Edward, Hello. Thank you. I appreciate that you love my work. What is one fear that holds you back? Surabaya. Hello there. Brazil. Obrigado for joining us. Thailand. Holy mackerel. We got New York City. Thailand, Brazil. Aussie failure. Right, so Aussie failure. How many of you agree that fear of failure is a big one? And I'm going to challenge that in just a moment. You'll see why. So, fear of failure. Fear of never following through. Okay. I want to give you. How many of you know what reframing means? Reframe. Right. So you know, if you have a window, you see what's out of the window, Right? I'm looking at a few windows here. How many of you know what reframing is? Hello there. Pauline from New Jersey. Hey. Angela from the Twin Cities. Hey. Hello. Mitch Chalet. Fear of failure, Fear of success. Yeah. So let's have a little bit of an interesting dialogue. I'm going to talk to you about fears first, and I'm going to talk to you about reframing techniques. So let's understand something. What is a fear? Right, so actually, I've got to make some notes here on what I'm promising you that I'm going to cover. I've got my own. I've got my notes over here, but I've got, you know, I've got a couple of things. So reframing. Give me a second. Reframing. Definitely want to talk about. So what is a fear? Right? What is a fear from a brain perspective? What is a fear? Where is it? Are you born with any fears? Are you born with any fears? Fear of not being enough. Hello there, Kwame from London. Hate fear. No, you shouldn't hate fear. You should love fear. Fear can be your friend, right? Fear of having no money. Okay, so there's a couple of different things over here that we want to talk about. Let's first understand fear. I want you to imagine you're driving your car anywhere and a light pops up on your dash. What does a light represent on your dash when it comes up? And I'm going to try and make this as interactive as possible today. As opposed to me just, you know, teaching. Teaching to you. Like, if a light pops on your dash, what does it mean? What does it mean? All right. All right. Great, Great feedback. So, lack of abundance. Hello. From Japan. Ohay gozaimasu. Amygdala activation. Okay, but why would the amygdala. Edward. Get activated amygdala, by the way, everybody is. There's two pieces on the inside, obviously, of your skull, both sides. We have about 2 of almost everything in our brain. But the amygdala is the emotional response center in the brain. But let's talk about if a signal came up. Okay? Somebody says. Josiana says, yes. It means to be aware. So if a light pops up on your dash, maybe the tires are low in air, Maybe you're low on oil or coolant for your engine. Maybe a door is open. The way that the brain is structured, there's three parts of the brain. There's the reptilian or the lizard brain, which is the first part of the brain that was developed. Then the mammalian or emotional brain was layered on top of that. And then the neocortex, the thinking part of the brain, layered on top of that. But the hierarchy of how the brain works is what? Safety first, right? So survival first. So if there's anything in your environment that could potentially harm you either spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, the amygdala. Okay, the part that Edward just talked about, activated as a warning signal. It's just signal. Now where does this signal come from? Right, so I'll give you an example. Let's say you had a baby and you put a 20 foot, 300 pound boa constrictor in front of the baby. Would the baby's fear center activate? Would the baby's fear center activate? And the answer is no. The baby has not learned to be afraid of snakes or of tigers or of elephants or of knives or of guns. Right? So what happens when the brain, your brain, my brain, and every baby's brain is developing is we learn be afraid of that there's danger over there, you, you could get hurt. If you do that, you could get hurt. If you go there, you can get hurt. If you don't do that, you can get hurt. So when we're dealing with any type of real or imagined pain or discomfort, any type of real or imagined, real or imagined, this signal lights up. This signal is called the fear signal. It's the stress response signal. The fight, flight, freeze or faint fight, flight, freeze or faint signal in the brain that sends these neurochemicals into the bloodstream for heightened awareness. It's called cortisol, epinephrine or norepinephrine adrenaline. Right? Just in case you have to run away to save your life, jump back up to the sidewalk, you have this extra energy that is different than your calm, relaxed dopamine, serotonin, or even oxytocin neurochemicals. So fear in the brain is just a signal that is supposed to just make you aware, to pay attention. So what causes fear in you may not cause fear in somebody else. Or the fear signal to activate and set off the chain reaction of those neurochemicals that causes these unpleasant or unwanted feelings. This makes sense so far. I want you to understand fear because fear can be your friend. You can turn your fear into fuel. And by the way, we're going to do a deeper masterclass on how to turn your fear into fuel for success, for financial success in your life's goals. My team's going to put up a link for you, so sign up for it. It's free. Share it with your friends. I'm going to go deeper into this. Let me continue. So fear is just an emotion. Love is an emotion. And we learn, okay, through the imprinting years. From 0 to 3, 4 years old, through the modeling years, 4 to 7 years old. Through the experiential years, you know, 4 to 20 years old and the socialization years, we learn to give certain things meanings. Now where are these meanings? And the answer is these meanings are gathered consciously first through our experience, and then they are wired in the subconscious mind. Now pay close attention to what I'm about to share with you because the hierarchy of your brain is for survival and avoidance of pain first. And above all else. Any real or potential pain or life threatening situation is going to wire the cells in your brain thousands of times faster than a pleasurable experience. Survival first. Avoidance of pain is right there with survival. And so we will do more to avoid real or imagined pain than we will to gain pleasure. Achieving our goals. Feeling good, loving our life, being excited, that's pleasure. But we will do more to avoid real or imagined pain before we will do what is necessary to achieve pleasure. So the way yours and my brain works is the brain filters all of the incoming information and also goes into the memory bank for any references and meanings associated with what you may want to do or experience. And if there is anything that has been wired in the subconscious mind for the last 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of your life that has real or imagined pain or danger associated with it, you will put on the brakes and not take action. You will procrastinate, you will rationalize, which means you're going to tell yourself rational lies, why you're not going to move forward. I'm going to give you a couple of tools of what to do. And as I mentioned, I'm going to do about a 90 minute training deeper into fear. First and foremost, does this make sense? First and foremost of the process, the mechanics of what's going on. Fear is not your enemy. It is one of your best friends when you learn how to use it to your advantage. So first and foremost, is this making sense? I love to teach the science of all of this and then give you the tools and resources to retrain your brain. I'm going to talk to you about reframing in just a second. Does this make sense? Yes, it makes sense. Also. Also. Also, yes. Great. Okay. Awesome. Debbie from Alaska. Hey Debbie. Hey, Marcie. Okay, so. So fear is just a signal. When this signal happens, right, your brain goes into an automatic reactive state that is subconsciously created and triggered. So for fear to be activated, there has to be a cue, right? A signal. A cue is just a signal. It could be a person, a place, a thing. A memory activates the cue, which creates the automatic chain reaction like a chemical or nuclear reaction. It happens in a nanosecond in the brain based on what's in the memory bank associated with what you want to do. So when people talk about I have a fear of failure. No you don't. It's not the failing that you have a fear of. It's the meaning you have in your brain around what is failure. And that's what you want to avoid. So you want to avoid the maybe the embarrassment of failing. You want to avoid the judgment of other people if you fail. You want to avoid the discomfort of maybe losing time or money if you fail. You want to avoid these feelings, okay, that make your self esteem suffer and your ego bruised. So you're not actually afraid of failure. You're avoiding the feeling because of the meaning you give failure. There is nobody, nobody, nobody that has a fear of public speaking. They're afraid of being ashamed, judged, ridiculed, which then affects their self esteem and self worth and possibly triggering a disempowering doom loop of I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not meant to do this. And now we're talking about something totally different. Now we're talking about a self esteem issue you're trying to avoid that's going to knock down your self esteem or self worth even more. Now when we have a fear of real danger, you better get your ass in gear and take off or be reactive. But all other fears are usually not a fear of failing or fear of succeeding. People don't fear succeeding. Most people fear succeeding. And the meaning they give succeeding is while it's lonely at the top. Bullshit. It's not lonely at the top. There's fewer people up here and they're really really smart and intelligent in many cases. A lot of people fear succeeding and then losing it. Why? Because of the meaning they give it. Our brain is a meaning making machine and we learn to give thanks things meanings. Let me share a story with you. I might be able to write this down when I was. I'm going to draw something, Give me a second and I'm going to show you something that you're going to understand how to frame things. I'm going to show you something that's called a framing technique. 105, 121, 35. Let me make sure the math right. So do you see this chart over here? It says 15, 30, 45, 60, 75, 90. Imagine this was a hundred boxes and down here, okay. Was fifteen hundred dollars. I'm just going to show you how powerful meanings are in reframing things. So when I was 19 years old, and if you like this, give me a like or a love gives me a lot of energy. When I was 19 years old, I got into real estate and My first mentor, Mr. Allen Brown, put a sheet just like this with a hundred boxes in there in front of me. And he had 15, 30, 45. And he said to me, john, welcome to the world of sales. What I want you to do is I want you to pick up the telephone and I want you to call 100 people today. And I said to him, I said, Mr. Brown, who am I going to call? He says well, I'm going to give you a list of people of all the houses in the neighborhood. Since you're a real estate agent, you have to do some prospecting. And I said, well, I don't want to call people, I don't know. He said they're going to hang up on me. He goes, yeah. So he says well, I don't want to do that. He says, listen, if you're going to be in sales, you're going to face rejection and you have to get good at accepting rejection. But he said to me, says but what you have to learn how to frame, see rejection differently is when people hang up on you, when people say no to you, when people call you an idiot or an a hole. Understand they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting what you're offering them. I said, oh, okay. He said I'm going to give you a script and I want you to call these people. And back in those days, right, I'm you know, 58 now. So we're talking about 40 years, almost 39 years ago, you know, cold calling, you know, dialing was, was legal. And so we would call people and here's what he said to me. For every person that hangs up on you or says no, you just made $15. Because we, we know that it takes about 100 calls to speak to about 20 people to find two or three who might be interested in selling their home or in buying a new home. So it is a matter of upgrading my knowledge and skills about a script about rejection around my self worth and self esteem, but also framing what I was about to do in a way that empowered me in instead of disempower me. Does that make sense? So when you try something and it doesn't work, it doesn't mean you are a failure as you as a human being. It means what you tried or did or said was not the right Thing does that make sense when you learn how to reframe things so that your brain gives things a different meaning and you take away the neural charge? That's disempowering when you change the way you look at something, Wayne Dyer said, the thing that you look at changes. So when your brain has a disempowering meaning, or a meaning that can cause you spiritual, emotional, mental, or physical or even financial pain or discomfort, that signal is going to be triggered in a nanosecond, and that's going to cause the neurochemicals that are a little anxious, right? Because epinephrine and cortisol, that's the anxiety, that's the stress, neurochemicals. And most people don't know what to do with that feeling. And so instead of learning how to manage feelings and emotions, they basically push away from it, and they don't do the required thing to achieve the goal that they want. So it's the meaning in your brain that triggers the emotion of fear that causes this feeling that you don't like. Does this make sense to you? And it takes a little bit of practice in understanding this, and that's why I'm going to go deeper into our training with a whole bunch of techniques for you. So let me just ask you for a little, you know, audience participation right now. Do you have one technique to recognize the emotion of fear and to eliminate the disempowering feelings that hold you back? Do you have any techniques? Okay, I'm glad this is helping you. Denise. Hi there. Abigail Perlman. Hi there. Christina Chap. Hey there. James Springer, right? Pauline. I'm glad it makes sense. Abigail just makes sense, right? So we're not afraid of failure. We're not afraid of. Of love. They're emotions. Now, some emotions are pleasant and feel good and are constructive, and others are disempowering and stop us in our track when the fear center activates in the brain, right? So think of your brain as having circuits like light switches. You know, you walk around your light switch, turn it on, you turn on your TV switch, you know, goes on, you turn on your car, turn off your car. Think of your brain as having circuits that go on or off automatically or on demand. So when the fear circuit activates, that is part of the stress response circuit. So when the stress response circuit fires off the blood from your left prefrontal cortex, the third thinking part of your brain actually moves away from the thinking part of your brain. It moves away from the motivational side of your brain, and it shifts over to the motor cortex to do one of the four things I said before to fight. If you need to fight something, for safety, to freeze. If you just don't know what to do with the emotion to flee, to run away, go do something else. Procrastinate and don't do what you need to do. And in some cases people actually faint. They just faint. Those are the four responses of the fear circuit. And that is what activates what's known as the sympathetic nervous system, the reactive nervous system, or fight, flight, freeze or faint. But what you need to do in order to take action is the, before you do anything, you have to deactivate the circuit. If you want to turn the light off in your room right now, you go turn off the switch. There's a behavior to turn off the switch, right? Or you can go, right, clap on, clap off. That's a little joke for those of you in the United States have seen that commercial. So I'm going to give you a tool right now, two tools right now. They're both in my newest book, Inner Size. And I think many of you have read my book Inner Size best selling book, the new science to unlock your brain's hidden power on Amazon. First and foremost, when you catch yourself. Oh, by the way, by the way, I almost forgot something. Self doubt in many, many, many cases is the precursor to fear, self doubt. So when you lack the knowledge, the skills, the strategies or the tactics what to do that you're comfortable and safe with, fear gets activated. So self doubt precurses fear. I'll leave that alone for a moment. So there's things you can do to obviously increase your confidence. So one of the first things is if you catch yourself ruminating with self doubt, with uncertainty, with this emotion that's unpleasant of fear or vulnerability. If I take action, I just don't like being vulnerable to say this or to do that, any one of the disempowering emotions, all it means is that those neurochemicals have flooded your bloodstream, right? The brain releases those neurochemicals. You feel it, okay, in your body. You're consciously aware of the feeling your body is in. We call that conscious, you know, awareness. We call that a feeling. Conscious awareness is being aware. And so when you feel self doubt, fear or any of those. Here's two inner size. I'm going to give you two and I'll give you a bunch more stuff to practice on the training that I'm going to do the masterclass. So number one is as soon as you feel that as soon as you procrastinate, as soon as you do that, stop. What you have to do is just like you learned how to take your foot off the gas in your car and put on the brake when you need to. When the activation of the fear center has happened, your motivational center actually shuts down for the most part. And your thinking center shuts down in preparation for maybe you having to take off. It's just a reactive state. There's nothing wrong with it. It's perfectly normal. You're working fine now. Staying stuck in that state or repeating that cycle over and over again creates that default mode network of that's what you're always going to do. What I want you to do is interrupt the pattern. How? Something I teach every one of our students is called Take six, Calm the circuits first. So before you continue ruminating or allowing that inner critic to control you, what I want you to do is take six deep breaths in through your nose. Practice with me right now. Forget about just listening to me and watching me practice. Take a deep breath in with me right now. 3, 2, 1. In through your nose, gently and calmly. Then when you breathe out, breathe out through your mouth like this, like you're blowing out through a straw. And I want you to take six to 10 seconds to breathe out. Breathe in again. And then out gently. Focus on the breath leaving your mouth. You do that six to 10 times, taking one minute to 90 seconds. What you're doing just by that one inner size is you deactivate the sympathetic system in the brain and you reactivate the calm and respond system in the brain. So do you want to be in a state of reaction that's automatic based on what's in your memory bank, or do you want to be in a state of being calm and able to respond? Which power do you want? Obviously to be more in control versus reactive and always going based on what's happening in the brain. So when you take those six deep breaths, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the motivational center gets reactivated, the thinking part of your brain gets reactivated, and now you can move to inner size number two, which is called Aya A I A Now, I teach this all the time. Just these are the two foundational inner sizes. Actually a bunch of them, but these are the first two. AYA stands for, for Awareness, intention, action, Awareness, intention, act. So after you've calmed the circuits, then I want you just to sit quietly for one minute, take a little sheet of paper, and say, okay, what's really causing this Disempowering feeling. And what just caused my fear emotion to be triggered? So what were you thinking? What are your thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations? And what were you doing just prior to that or just in the last 10 or 15 minutes? So awareness first. And you've got to practice the awareness with no blame, no shame, no guilt, no just no judgment or justification. One more time. No blame, no shame, no guilt, no judgment or justification, just pure awareness. So you can see the pattern. And then you ask yourself, what's my intention right now? Is my intention to have a lot of self doubt? Is my intention to not take action on the goals I want to achieve for health, wealth, relationships, career, business, the fun, the experience I want to have? What's my intention? Well, my intention is to do this. My intention is to take action. My intention is not to procrastinate, it's to be in inspired action. Right? And then you have self this last a question. What's one thing? Not 25, what's one thing I could do to move forward instead of procrastinating? What's one thing I could do to take action instead of feeling stuck and frustrated and not do anything? The reason you want to take one thing is because if you say here's five things I need to do, you reactivate the stress center again. So all you want to do is one tiny small little step towards goal you have. And what happens when you do that is you interrupt the fear and procrastination pattern. And what happens is now you start to interrupt the entire sequence of what we call is the habit loop of fear. And if you do that one time, 10 times, 30 times, 50 times, 100 times, now you go oh wow, I can do this. And as soon as you say I can do this and I am doing this, then you build your self esteem, your self worth, your confidence level, which is the antidote to self doubt. Okay, so there's a lot we can go into here. I can do this for a whole day just on fear. And so I've given you a couple of killer tools. If you want to go deeper into this, then I've got a free masterclass coming up to help you eliminate the fears. And, and if you like this, do me a favor, hit the share button. I like to do these as my pay it forward. Maybe you'll consider paying it forward as well and share this with me. My goal is to help you really master your mindset, your emotional skills and obviously you've got to do the right things to achieve your goals. And that's really what I'm about and what Neurogym is all about. So if you enjoy this, give me a like and a love and hit the share button and you have a great day. I'm here live every Tuesday morning. I appreciate you very much. Share your thoughts with me. All right. And I'll read them afterwards and respond to as many as I can. All right. 30 minutes is what we had today. My team has been putting up a link for you. I hope you join me for a longer training session with much more stuff. Have an awesome day. I appreciate you.