John Assaraf explains realistic goal setting using a "rubber band" analogy: gradually stretch your mind, emotional control, and habits by setting small, achievable goals and taking consistent tiny actions (fractional goal achievement). He gives a personal jogging example (goal: jog one mile in <15 minutes) and recommends reducing expectations to remove resistance and build confidence, trust, and self-respect.
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Just like a rubber band. When you pull a rubber band, you know, when you pull it, after a while the band stretches. You're stretching your mind by challenging yourself a little bit. You're stretching your emotional control by challenging yourself a little bit. And you're challenging your behavioral habits to stretch beyond their comfort zone as you well, well, well, are aware. There's the setting goal part. And we use our imagination and our deductive reasoning. I want this or that, not this, not that. Pretty easy, right? But what do you do when you're uncertain, when you have either some self doubt or you're lacking the knowledge or the skills to achieve the goals that you want? What do you do when that brings up some fear and some uncertainty that causes you to maybe procrastinate or not take action? So, so there's a couple things that you can do. One is set a goal that you know how to achieve. And so I'll give you just a little example. I haven't been able to run in years due to some injuries. And so I recently set a weight goal that I knew I could achieve. But I also knew that, you know, jogging and doing some higher intensity aerobic exercise would be what I need. And so what I did is I set a small little goal to be able to jog one mile in less than 15 minutes. Now I could walk a mile in 15 minutes. But I decided just to get going so that I could create a little mini plan for Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays to be able to just get out there and start. So it was a realistic goal that even though I haven't been running for a while, I knew I could achieve it. And all I had to do was get going. That was the only real decision, just to get going, jog very, very slowly to get it done. Now today I finished my third day this week of doing this jog. Now what I love to think about when I'm jogging, for example, is as I'm getting tired and I feel like quitting, I just pick a spot maybe, you know, 100ft in front of me and I just say to myself, just get there. And then once I get there, I see, how do I feel? I say, well, just get a little bit further. And I call this fractional goal achievement. I reduce it to ridiculous expectations, ridiculously low expectations, so that I reduce the resistance in my brain of going, I don't want to, I want to quit, I want to stop or I don't want to start. So when you're setting any goals for yourself, if you're not used to setting goals, or you've set goals before and maybe you haven't achieved them, that's okay. You're human, you're normal. It's just part of the process. What I want you to do is set a realistic goal for maybe just one week from now and set up one or two or three doable action items that you then follow through on, no matter what. Even if it's a little bit, you do it no matter what. Now, why do you want to do that? Well, first you want to break any patterns of inactivity or of mental or emotional resistance. And when you just take a little bit of action, where maybe in the past you haven't, and when you push yourself just a little bit, where maybe in the past you haven't, you start to build your neural muscles of self confidence, of trust, of self respect. And those three things are required in order to achieve your goals. So realistic goal setting and realistic goal achievement go hand in hand. And when you reduce the resistance, you're more likely to take action. All right, so that's realistic goal setting, a goal achieving. If you want to stretch a little bit, then what's a goal that scares you? Just a little bit, just a little bit outside of your current comfort zone and see if you could reach that. And what I always like to do is break things down into one or two or three behaviors, action steps that move you towards that goal achievement move you towards. So what is it for you? You pick the goal. What's one thing that I can do? That's the question you ask yourself. What's one thing I can do that'll push me outside of my comfort zone? And what happens is just like a rubber band. When you pull a rubber band, you know, when you pull it, you know, goes back to its normal state. Then you pull it again, it goes back to its normal state. You pull it again, it goes back to its normal state. After a while, the band stretches. You're stretching your mind by challenging yourself a little bit. You're stretching your emotional control by challenging yourself a little bit. And you're challenging your behavioral habits to stretch beyond their comfort zone. And as you stretch your comfort zone, you become more. You're capable of more, and you achieve more. So reduce it to the ridiculous. Do it. Develop that habit, and I promise you, you'll start achieving more and more of your goals and dreams. Hey, this John. And if you like that video, watch the next video, because it is packed with things that you can do right now to achieve success way faster than ever before.
