Why I Don't Have New Year Resolutions

Hey there. I hope you are enjoying your day. And I want to do a little video on New Year's resolutions and why, for the most part, they're an absolute waste of time, and why most people within hours, days and weeks end up just forgetting about and dropping their resolutions. And as you already know, I'm very into neuropsychology and neuroscience and really understanding what's going on here with our brains. And so everything that I teach and everything I do for myself and with my kids and my wife and my family is all about giving myself and them the best chances to actually follow through, to achieve the resolutions that you may call it. But why? Why do resolutions not work? Why do people vow to stop smoking only to pick it up again, to stop eating sugar or carbs, only to eat sugar and carbs, or to, you know, lose weight and get into great shape, or to leave a relationship that they're not happy in, only to stay back in that relationship, or to set these, you know, intentions for the new year, only to forget about those intentions. And so the place I'd like you to just come with me for just a moment is this. Do we have on Earth Today, you know, 2019, do we have most of the how to for stopping to eat sugar and getting rid of the cravings, eliminating addictions, whether it's drugs, food, sex, watching too much tv, do we have ways to manage emotions better than we do? Do we have the how to? I think you'll admit the answer is, of course we have the how to. You know, unless we're trying to figure out, you know, how to colonize Mars, which we've never done yet, we really don't have to be too innovative on how to. We know all the how to in health and wealth and relationships and career and business. And so the question is, why is it so hard for most people to achieve their goals? But let's stick with resolutions. And let me just take you to this. When you or I. And like I said, I don't do resolutions anymore. I'll tell you what I do do in a minute. When you and I have a resolution, we're usually looking, you know, towards a date, like the end of the year to stop something or to start something. And so we come up with the psychology of a date of when we are going to start or stop something. And so that actually is a good thing because you actually activate dopamine in the brain, the feel good chemical, because you've made a decision and decisions have a lot of power to them in the brain. And if you share that resolution with a friend, then not only do you feel good for making a decision, and you feel excited and you release dopamine in your brain, but by sharing it with a friend, you've actually released oxytocin, which is the love or the bonding neurochemical. And so that's a good thing also. So having a resolution and sharing it is actually pretty good. That's why people do it. It feels good. But herein lies the problem. When we resolve to start or stop something, we're using some of our emotional brain, the limbic system. In our brain, we're using some of the left prefrontal cortex, what I call as the Einstein imagination, future thinker of the brain. And so we're using that part of the brain. But there is a fundamental issue that most people don't not consider. And what they don't consider is this, number one, what is the best process to stop something or start something. And in many cases, start and then start, stop and then start something. And as soon as we get into that question, you're going to get into the striatum, the part of the brain where your habits are. You and I, we have habitual thought patterns. We have habitual emotional patterns, and we certainly have habitual behavioral patterns. We behave a certain way every day in our relationship with our food, with the time we wake up, the time we go to sleep. We have habitual ways of going to work and routes that we take. And we develop these habits in order to conserve energy and to keep us in our comfort zone doing the same thing over and over again. So when somebody sets a New Year's resolution, they have to disrupt a habit in the brain, Whether it's a thought, emotional, or behavioral habit that really operates without any thought, it's automatic. It's part of the automatic self. And as soon as we get into the automatic self, now we're going to start talking about your subconscious mind, because that's where the automatic self is. And so when you have a resolution, a decision of start this, stop that, that's a conscious decision. That's a conscious effort. And then you use, you know, your willpower and persistence and maybe even a little excitement to get started. But this thing of ours does not like change. It does not like expending energy. It does not like change. And even though you may get excited and you are fully committed to whatever your resolution is, chances are it's not going to work. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but that's Just the reality. It's not because you're not capable of change. It's not because you're not capable of sticking to your diet or exercise program or whatever commitment or resolution you've made. It's you're just not using the right process. You're not using the right motivational factors that are based on how your brain operates. You're not taking into consideration that whenever there is any emotional tension between your old behaviors and your new ones, your brain goes, hey, I don't like this. And it will cause you to initially start to rationalize your way out of what you stopped or started. And the definition of rationalize that I learned that I love the best is you start telling yourself rational lies. I'm too tired. You know, I'll just have the coffee now. Just a little bit of sugar. I'll just have one dessert, one sweet. You know what? I've exercised for three days. I don't need to do it today. I'll take today off and I'll start tomorrow. Now, first and foremost, that's perfectly normal. That's the way this thing works. And I want you to remember something, that you have a brain, but you're not your brain. And chances are you've never really gotten the user's manual. But I do know, you already know that there's the conscious mind. And you have willpower and imagination and persistence as part of your conscious mind. And you have deductive reasoning, your ability to choose what you want. And that's pretty easy to understand. But as soon as you get into understanding the subconscious mind, the part of you that breathes for you without you thinking about, the part of you that digests your food and grows your hair. And as 10 million cells die off today and 10 million new ones are created and your DNA stays intact and doesn't unravel. And as all of your autonomic functions are running perfectly without you consciously making any decisions or choices, that's the power of your subconscious mind. So resolutions are conscious. Choices, behaviors and emotions are all happening at a subconscious level. So one of the things that you want to do is maybe shift your thinking from resolutions to commitments. Let me explain the difference. When you make a resolution, you're basically saying, here's what I want to do, and that's great, but. But when you make a commitment, there's another layer to commitments that's really important. Because when you make a commitment, you now have to go a couple of layers deeper and say, okay, well, what am I going to do when I don't feel like it. What am I going to do when I'm rationalizing my way out of the resolution that I made? What am I going to do when my cravings are so strong and when my desire to not take action is so strong because I'm being pulled back to my old way of being and thinking and feeling because that's comfortable? What am I going to do when I know the behavior, I know what I need to stop, but I can't. And a commitment means you're gonna figure it out. You'll upgrade your knowledge and your skills and your behavior and you'll figure out a process or you'll buy a process or hire a coach and they will guide you and show you how to do it. And then if you add one more layer to your commitments versus resolutions, I think it'll help you a lot. So what's that layer? The layer is having a reason why you must instead of a reason why you want to pay close attention. Having a reason why you must stop the sugar, start the exercise, release the weight, leave this relationship, get a new job, leave, you know, the job that you have, start your own business. You have to have a must when why you must that is bigger than why you won't. And now we're dealing with learning how to manage your thoughts and your self talk. Now we're dealing with learning how to manage your fears, your emotions. Your emotions are all based on your subconscious programming and conditioning. And so I'm going to trail back to why do New Year's resolutions not work for most people? Because they don't make a commitment to the change. They don't have a big enough why that's bigger than the why not. And then there's a third part. And the third part is they don't have a process that's fail safe and is going to work almost every single time. And I want to share some with you. Imagine you, you know, you get onto an airplane and the pilot just hops on and they don't do any checks of the systems. Chances are if you saw that, you'd wonder, did anybody check to make sure there's enough fuel to make sure that the electrical system is working, to make sure that the, you know, the wings are flapping, to make sure the tires have got enough pressure in it, you know, to make sure that everything is is working, all the systems are working. And the answer is if you didn't check that or if the pilot or co pilot didn't check that, chances are the flight attendants will run right off of the plane. Now, why am I sharing this with you? Well, I'm sharing this with you because for every result that you want, there's a process that if you just checked off the boxes, do this, then that, then this, then that. If this happens, do this. If that happens, do this. This is a logical way to circumvent or override things that will or can go wrong. And so what I'd like to suggest is that you set some goals for yourself instead of resolutions, but make sure that you're committed to achieving, achieving those goals. And it doesn't matter if they're, you know, health goals, doesn't matter if they're wealth goals, relationships goals, career goals, business goals. But as you set the goal, ask yourself that question, am I committed to achieving that goal, or am I interested? Which was one of the greatest questions my first mentor asked me. And when I asked him, what's the difference? He said, if you're interested, you do what's convenient and easy, and you revert back to all of your old thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. But if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes. So set your goals, be committed, find your why, make sure it's bigger than your reasons why not to. And then from there, you want to actually activate another part of the brain. And the other part of the brain that you have to activate is the motor cortex. And the motor cortex is the part of your brain that actually is responsible for you taking action. And here is a little tip and a trick for you. Don't set actions or develop action steps for yourself that require a lot of motivation and a lot of effort to implement. Why? Well, because the more things you give your brain maybe this one or this one to do, the more your brain goes, oh, my God, that's a lot of work. It requires a lot of energy to do that. And so some of the research in the latest or the latest research in neurosciences make the action steps easy at first. Make what you have to do something that your brain says, oh, I can do that. So, for example, if you're in sales, don't say, I'm going to make 100 phone calls a day, because maybe you'll do it for day one or two or three or four, but you won't do it for three or four or five weeks. And to say, you know what? I'm going to make five phone calls a day for the next 30 days. I can do that. Let's start right now. Let's say you want to lose weight. Don't say you know, I'm going to lose, you know, 25 pounds this month. Say I'm going to focus on the actions to get me started. I'm going to go for a 10 minute walk and maybe I'll do some stretching. I'm going to do it every day for 10 minutes. Now, when you reduce it to the doable, you also reduce the neural and emotional tension that causes people to start and not sustain it. And so when I was in my early 20s, I learned a phenomenal goal achieved, achieving process versus goal setting process. And it involved several different components. One was understanding some of the natural laws of the universe, the seven core natural laws of the universe. Another was understanding the conscious and subconscious mind. Another part was understanding focusing on my strengths versus my weaknesses, but learning how to create simple plans to achieve my goals. And then I learned how to manage what I do in time. Now, you probably noticed I didn't say manage my time. I learned how to manage what I do in time because you cannot manage time. There's no such thing as time management, right? You know, I've got hourglass all over the place. All you could do is what you do, what you manage in time. Highly successful who achieve their goals and commitments and resolutions, get really, really good at learning how to do things that are the highest impact or highest income more often than people who aren't doing those. And so they manage their events better. And then the people that are the happiest the world, I mean, far above everybody else, they base their decisions every day, every week, every month based on their highest values. So what do they value the most? The things that give them the most joy and purpose and meaning in their life. And when you learn how to work with natural laws, how to use your brain better than how to create some plans to achieve your goals in health, wealth, relationships, career, business, fun, charity experiences. And you learn how to manage your schedule and become excellent at doing the things that are high impact, high income, and you make decisions based on your highest values. You start to have a life that flows magically and beautifully. And I want you to imagine becoming someone who achieves her goals or his goals versus somebody who sets goals and then gets disappointed. Well, I want you to remember you are a genius. You've got so much potential and capacity, but without knowing how to use your brain better, without knowing some of the skills that I've just talked about, you'd be the equivalent of going into an airplane and not knowing, you know, what to do to get the plane off the ground. You may have the intention, the desire to. But you don't have the specialized knowledge. And so if anything that I've said makes sense and you want to learn more about how to achieve your goals in 2019, how to take the goals that are the most important to you and how to use natural laws of the universe, how to use your brain better, how to manage what you do in time based on your highest values and highest productivity. I'm going to put a link over here for something that I've put together for you called the Having It All Bundle. Many years ago I learned how to have it all, how to make more than enough money, how to achieve my health and wealth and relationships and career and business goals. And I created some programs that I put together in what I call the Having It All Bundle. I've got it at a phenomenally reduced rate for you to make sure that you have an amazing 2019. And if you want to find out more about it, you want to learn some of the stuff that's helped me live a pretty nice lifestyle and make a difference in the lives of others and build businesses and write books and travel the world first class. I invite you. I invite you to get away from New Year's resolutions and just setting goals, to becoming committed to achieving amazing results in your life. And I'll show you the process that I use every day. I'll show you the process that my clients pay me $5,000 an hour hour for. And I'll show you the keys to freedom and to achieve the life of your dreams. Click on the link below. I hope you enjoyed this and May 2019 really, really, really be your best year ever. Not because you hope and pray that it is. Because you learn how to use your mind better and you learn a foolproof process. Have an awesome 2019 link is below.