The Secret Handshake w/ John Wetmore & Perry Lunsford

So I was on that, uh, School of Hard Knocks podcast this last week.

You know? Yeah.

And, um, that kid James that runs that thing is a badass.

Is he?

Yeah, incredible young man. He's about to graduate from UT, travels all over the country, just, you know, interviewing entrepreneurs and successful people, uh, for young entrepreneurs. And I'm dealing with it since that thing dropped yesterday at right at right now yesterday. Just dealing with that's been— I was dealing with it till 1 in the morning and then dealing with it since I got up at 5. It's been non-stop. So between that and filming content and, and interviews— but anyways, that kid's gonna come on our podcast, so we just gotta nail him down. Well, the hard part is nailing down a time that he— that all three of us are available. But because it's remote, it's easy for them. We just got to pin that time down.

Okay, hell yeah, that's dope. And to be clear, when you meet— when you say dealing with, you got a lot of dope shit going on from it.

Yeah, no, it's amazing, it's wonderful.

I'm so sorry, for those that don't know, I know, I, I'm aware, but those watching are like, what are they talking about?

Dope shit is, is, uh, is an understatement. Yeah, no, it's, um like, I don't want to say life-changing, but, um, it is, but it, but it's, it's definitely a turbo boost. Yeah, it's good stuff we've already been working on.

So it's neat. I'm excited. Yeah, it'll come together, dude. We're trying, we're trying to put things together on our end. I hired a, I hired a video guy.

Nice.

And he accepted, and then 2 hours later he said no. So, artist, we're back, we're back at it. We got a couple more people coming in this week.

And artists, artists, artists. Yeah, more people coming in this week. So did you— but you didn't interview the— did you interview the person?

I did. I don't know if I scared them. I don't know what happened. So my team interviewed him like remotely on the phone.

Yeah.

And then he was gonna start like at an event— not really start, but Amanda was like, let's do like a, like a working interview. And they, they were going to film some stuff at an event I have Friday, Thursday night and Friday, speaking, and just see his recording skills, how I got along. They thought I'd get along with them, so they were like, all right, let's go to the next step, right? And I was like, that's like a week away. I don't know, I kind of want to meet him. I was bored. I'm like, bring him in. So we bring him in Monday. He comes in Monday and we sit and chat and Cool dude, seemed like— seemed excited, knew all my stuff, watched all our stuff. He referenced our podcast, he knew what was going on. He told me what, you know, things we need to work on, whatever. And I'm like, all right, where would you start? He fucking laid out a plan, bro. Here's where we're gonna start, here. I'm like, dope, when can you start? He was like, Wednesday. I'm like, okay, hired, let's go. And, uh, we, we had talked about some trips we were going to take him. We're going to take him to the one in Dallas where we're trying to talk about meeting up, right? Literally. Okay, he leaves, and literally 2 hours later, Amanda gets an email. Well, after thinking about it more, I decided I don't really want to do it.

Goddamn, he's an artist again.

Glad I got that out of the way.

I— my guy is such a professional. We, we did a shoot today, just the two of us, just kind of podcast style, just having a conversation. But so, um, so on, on those Instagrams, so I'm getting like, you know, an Instagram message every 90 seconds or something, and most of them are from people in other countries who want—

yep, I want to edit videos for you.

Yeah, exactly. But a lot of them are from like young people that are trying to figure their shit out, about to graduate college or just dropped out of college or trying to decide if they want to go to college or So like, I was messaging this guy back right before this. So here's this question: I graduate in December, I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to do something big, I want to work my ass off, I want to change the world, right? I want to change my own world. Which— where should I start? Yeah, yeah. So I'll let you answer it. Go ahead.

It's all you, young entrepreneur. And from a young entrepreneur, and I wanna— I wanna change the world, where do I start? Huh, oh, good question. Does he know anyone? He's just you? He knows you?

He now thinks he knows me. Okay, and my sucker ass replies to every single message and every single comment.

Do you reply to the message that are like, hey, I like you and I want to be friends?

No, I mean, I'm not—

hey, I wanna— okay, because I replied to all of them.

I don't reply to the hey. Right.

And hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And if they're trying to sell me something, I just—

I guess I'm like, yeah, I reply to all of mine too, except for the ones that I think are horseshit.

Yeah, because I mean, I can't stand— you know, once— I don't send out messages very often, but once in a while I'm like, man, this guy really creates some really cool stuff. And so I want that— once in a while I'll send a message, I'll be like, listen, man, no, I don't want to bother you Um, I just want to tell you that I think your content is phenomenal, and, uh, I actually used it in some of my trainings with my team, and 100% of the time they don't reply back. And when I send the message, I think, I don't care if they reply back. And then when they don't reply back, I'm like, screw you, man. Yeah, like, I know what it takes to create all this content. I also know that If somebody sends me love like that, I'm at least sending a thank you. Like, it's— I got shortcuts on my phone. TY, enter, it says thank you. TYS is thank you, sir. TYM, thank you, ma'am. Bam, go. Yeah, but also, I'm sure that they get a thousand of those a day, but yeah, I'm replying.

That's cool. Yeah, I do the same, dude. I do the same. I, I say that, and then funny enough this one, this one lady, one day I go to an event and I'm speaking and I'm talking about it. I just made the camera worse. Um, I go to an event and I'm talking about it and she comes up to me after and she's like, yeah, but you didn't reply to me and I really wanted to work with you. I'm like, dude, I reply to everyone. She's like, you didn't reply to me. So I pull up my text messages and I scroll, I find her, and I'm like Sure as shit, I didn't reply to you. And the message, I'm like, this sounded really spammy, so I ignored it. And I felt bad because she was a killer. I'm like, damn. Yeah, uh, so the answer is yeah, I think, dude, I mean, I don't, I don't have a lot of context, right? But I think if someone's young entrepreneur and they're trying to kill it, I, I think getting around successful people and trying to find a way to add value to them How are you?

Your parents aren't successful people, John, right? You're going to Texas Tech, you're about to graduate. Where do you go hang out with successful people, dude?

I'm trying to find a sales guy that's making some money I can help, like you, dude. I'd be like, how can I help you? You know what I mean? I would get around someone and add some value. I'd find me— like, I swear to God, dude, right?

It took me 49 years to find you.

Well, so someone like me—

where do you find someone like you?

Here's, here's the thing. Look, right before this, I post, uh, did you see— have you looked at my stories in the last couple hours? Have you seen it by chance? No. I don't know, dude. I thought you stalked me, man.

I haven't looked at anything in the last couple hours.

I know. I'm speaking at an event, I post a story, dude hits me up right after I post it and goes, give me a media pass, I want to come record for you. And I'm like, so I respond, I'm like, are you even local? He's like, yes, I live in Kennesaw. Like, I think that's pretty badass. So I'm like, all right, call me tomorrow. Yeah, so I'm gonna let him come out and see what he can do. Well, okay, that's not that deep.

No, I mean, I, I think that I, I have a decent answer to the guy's question. So obviously that's what that guy's doing, right? He's reaching out to me, and that's great. But he found me from a knocking on my car door video saying, what do you do for a living, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But if you don't have me, so then where do you get that? And so I was thinking about it, and here's the answer. Indeed.

Was mine wrong?

Was your answer wrong?

Yeah.

I mean, I just don't know where to find you. I, I— listen, I spent my whole life going, where do I find— I, I want— I remember I had this friend.

Where do people with money go, bro?

They go to places that people without money aren't allowed to hang out, bro.

Hmm.

All right, I, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a 20-year-old.

They got a nice steakhouse.

Okay, you're at a nice steakhouse, a 22-year-old walks up to you, goes with a microphone, hey, what do you do for a living? How did you do that?

Hey, you're gonna never— it might, it might, it might go viral on TikTok tomorrow.

I'm with my family, get the hell away from me. Plus, just because people are at Eddie V's and whatever—

be clear, I was 37 and broke, dude. I don't know the answer to this.

Here's the best answer I can come up with other than sending them my recruiting page, and the answer is, uh, Indeed. Okay, go to Indeed. And what are we looking for? We're looking for a sales job, commission only with residuals. And then you go to a lot of— and then, and then Because if they're doing that, they're inviting everybody to an interview, right? And then what are you looking for? You're looking for someone who's charismatic, who's a leader, who can prove that they're successful at it. So if I can find a charismatic leader that can prove that they know how to sell, then maybe they can coach me. Then I can learn, I can learn, you know, most of the things I need.

So you just, you got a tactical way to solve my answer.

Yeah, why? It wouldn't, it wouldn't be interesting if I just gave you the answer. I wanted to see what your answer was because I—

well, I had the right answer, I just didn't, I didn't know how to do it.

Your answer was go find a badass like me, and that's how you do it.

You go on Indeed and you find somebody. Yeah, yeah, that's freaking—

so that was my, that was what I responded to the guy right before this, like go on Indeed, but also, you know, here's my recruiting page, we'd, we'd love to meet with you.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to answer that way because that's what I would do if they found me, you know what I mean? It's like, but yeah, I get it if you're young and don't know anyone, which I didn't. So I didn't have a good path. I was too stupid to find Indeed and go apply to sales jobs. And so I like your answer, dude. I'm a fan.

Yeah, thanks. I, uh, I, I— that's the best I can come up with because I don't know where to find other people.

Like us.

But also, I don't know any other people like us in Fort Worth. So I know some in Tampa, right?

I bet there are in Atlanta.

Oh, of course there are. Yeah, it's just, it's just you and I. But there's got to be somebody else out there that's not quite as tall and handsome and buff and bald as you and I. Maybe they got more hair and a mustache.

It's probably true.

So that's my answer to it.

I dig it.

Yeah, I mean, it's a stupid— it's a, it's a, it's a, it's an answer that is frustrating when you get it.

You go, ah, that was an easy one.

That was an easy one, man.

Come on, I fumbled the bag.

So you had a friend that brought you into the industry, is that correct?

Yeah, yeah, hit me up on— he sent me a DM was like, yo, what are you doing? Yep. And I was like, what's up? We hadn't talked in like 4 years. I was in the mortgage business with him. And he goes, I think I find— I know you're on a job you probably hate, but I think I found something you'll be good at. I work with a guy, he reminds me of you. I think you'd be a fit. I'm like, all right, call me. And that was it. And then I first said no on the phone. I was like, because he said insurance, and I'm like, nah dude, I'm good. I tried that, I didn't like it.

Why do you think it is that we all have such a negative— that selling insurance has such a negative connotation? Not like what you think now. Yeah, but can you put yourself in that headspace that you were in back then And why did you feel that way?

Yeah, well, I felt that way. I think there's two answers. One, the vague one— I'm gonna answer in a different order. Um, my guess is, like, the overwhelming majority of humans in the world probably think insurance guys are like schmucky sales guys who come up and try to push you to buy something you didn't ask for. Just, I think so. I just think through here— yeah, I think through hearsay I think just insurance has a funny, a bad rap by default, and people don't know any better. Um, it seems to be getting a little cooler, but I'm on the inside, and I— the way the perception I see from younger people is very different than what I imagined. But at that time, for me, I, um, I had already— I had— I was already licensed. He didn't know that. And, uh, so when I was in the mortgage business, I used to have salespeople come into my office and try to get me to sell mortgage protection. And at the time, I didn't know what that was. I didn't know that was insurance. I had no idea. But I remember it, dude, it would happen all the time. And then when, uh, the mortgage business went away, I was looking for like jobs on Craigslist, and I would always see mortgage protection ads. And so one day I applied to it And I was like, I know that, I know mortgages, whatever. And then I just was recruiting everyone who applied, and I got licensed, and I made phone calls once, like one day. I made like 20 calls or something stupid, and, uh, they all, you know, gave me whatever objection, you know, told me to fuck off basically. And I was like, I ain't doing this, and I quit that day. And 2 years went by. And my buddy hit me up. So the day I dialed— I worked one day in the insurance business, I quit, and two years later he's like, hey, you want to do insurance? So I was like, ah, dude, that sucks.

I did that.

I didn't know any better.

Yeah, I don't know what the answer is for me, why I felt that way. Uh, you know, my cousin Blake, you met him, he was on the podcast. I remember him saying, you know, I'm going into insurance, and I just remember going, loser. Because I, I had no idea. Yeah, but I'm just curious, like, why do we feel that way? Yeah. Now, when I, when I talked to Blake and he— the first time about going into insurance, and, and we've talked about this, he was like, listen, it's not sexy. And maybe it's that. Maybe it's just not sexy. Owning a gym, sexy, right?

Yeah.

Being an accountant at an office Dude, I still—

when I— when people ask what I do, when I try, I don't even know how to answer to make them not go, oh, and like look away. If I say anything to do with insurance and they don't know any much about what's going on, they don't know, they're just like, uh, must be a corny insurance dude. I don't know, I get— I get the weirdest reaction still to this day.

Well, I love the— I do love— I absolutely adore the art of sales. I love it. Like, I love the, the art of the dance, all of it. But also, you know, sales has such a negative connotation, and I don't feel like I've ever sold anything. All I do is help people and, and navigate the conversation to a place that, that's right for them and right for me, right?

Yeah.

But I can't stand what people are like. People reach out to me and they're like, hey, I'm looking for a job. And I'm like, oh cool, well, you know I kind of know you, love to have you out, take a look at it. And they're like, yeah, I don't like sales. And I go, well, how do you know you don't like sales? I, I've never sold anything before I came here. My wife has never sold anything before we came here. We were wildly successful day one. And they were like, well, you know, I don't want to feel salesy. And I'm like, no, it's not sales that you don't like. What you don't like is being a sleazy asshole.

Yes, correct.

Nobody likes being a sleazy asshole. Even sleazy assholes don't like being a sleazy asshole. But if you just don't— just sell a good product in an ethical way, that's not— that's not salesy, that's helping people.

You think some people are confused though on how you get clients too, because some, some lines and some companies and some styles are very Everywhere is different, right? Yeah, where you gotta like really approach people in a different way that didn't come to you. You know, I mean, like we're both in a similar space where people are approaching us, right?

So it is very much order-taking, but like at Black, you're, you're walking into, you're banging doors. Yeah, and harassing people and selling them something they're going to keep for 3 months and then, and then drop, right?

Yeah, or even other life industry, life sales, where it's just straight up warm market. Like at my, uh, the guy that does our programming stuff He's like, it's funny, I was with a friend, and I don't remember who was who in the story, but he's like, I was with a friend, and when I was with the friend, they were on the phone with someone, and they handed the phone to me and was like, so-and-so wants to talk to you. And so they got on the— he got on the phone with him, and the person tried to pitch him insurance there, and they didn't even know each other. They just was on the— she— he was hanging out with a friend, right? And he's like, I can't imagine having to do that kind of insurance. I'm like, we don't do that. So maybe that's why, because it's that type of cold outreach people don't want to do.

Yeah, I had somebody trying to sell me today and it was really creepy. You know, I started out with a, a really polite conversation where I thought we were having a conversation, and then it didn't take long before I was like, oh, you're selling me shit.

Yeah, and you can feel it coming.

You all of a sudden you're like Oh, I, I thought this was genuine. You're selling. And listen, I'm interested in what you're buying, what you're selling, but I just despise that. And there's nothing worse than the feeling you get when it occurs to you that's happening to you.

It was all a setup. Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, I, I don't want other people to feel that way.

Yeah, agreed. Yeah, I, I started selling so much more when I realized I could just kind of be me and ask the right questions. That let— like, I, I didn't realize there was a dance happening, you know what I mean? That they were trying to dance around what they want because they thought I was trying to oversell them something they didn't want. I didn't realize that at first. When I realized all I had to do was like control the dance and they buy what they wanted, this thing became so easy, right?

Let me ask this. Another question people ask me all the time, and it is one of my favorite things to answer, is how much time do you spend, uh, what are the— what is the word that I'm looking for— where you're, you're developing this relationship with someone when you're trying to sell them some—

bro, almost zero.

Zero. That's the right answer.

Yeah. No, zero. That guy, they don't know what's funny, dude. When I was, when I was first in the business, the guy, the like upline, couple up, his, uh, he had this like acronym he would use, and I don't remember the acronym, but the first letter of the acronym meant developer. You spend 15 minutes building rapport before you get into sales, dude. I want— you know what, the day, the day I quit doing that Because I would try— I tried it and I hated it. I'm like talking about cabinets and dumb shit I don't know nothing about, right? Dude, I get in this house one time, I'm in Atlanta, it's not in the best part of Atlanta, and I get in there and it's a— it's just being real, it's kind of a piece of shit house, right? So I go in, I sit down at this little tiny kitchen table, and husband, wife, he's sitting there like this. I walk in And I'm like, I don't know how to do this thing, and I'm stumbling over dumb shit to talk about. And I remember I go like, that's a dope floor, what is that? He goes, bro, that's my foundation. I haven't been able to fix my floors because we have no money. I was like, all right, I'm done. And I just— dude, someone started— someone who really sold a lot was like, you don't need small talk. They don't care. They don't want it.

What is everybody's favorite subject? Themselves. Nobody wants to know about John Wetmore and Perry Lunsford, or certainly not if they're— if you're trying to help them.

Yeah, I can't stand it. I loved it, dude. And dude, a lot of agents would be like, what do you mean you don't build no rapport? I'm like, I don't walk in like an asshole. But no, I don't go out of my way to build stuff. I'm like, hey, what's up? How are you? Nice. And I to their table, right?

And then you start— ask them questions about them.

Correct.

They don't need to know that you have those same kitchen cabinets or that your kid's birthday is the same birthday as their kid.

Yeah, well, I didn't do none of that, and I just start talking. And I, I can see a lot of times, just because you get good at conversing with people— and I get curious, I like— I actually like learning about people.

I like asking questions. We can ask questions all day.

Yeah. And so then you naturally build this rapport with people. Yeah.

But the rapport is— it's one direction, me receiving information about about them so that I can be of assistance to you. Correct. One direction.

I love the ones— I love the ones when they're like, we just had the best conversation, and I'm like, I didn't say shit for 45 minutes.

I'm sure I've said this before, but so, Single Perry, my favorite game was how many dates could we go on before they knew anything about me except my name. Yeah, and I would just— they'd ask— I'd ask all the questions, they'd be like, I don't know anything about you. And I'm like, I feel like you know a lot anyways, tell me about your mom. And then it just keeps going because people can't help it. Yeah, I— when I— I can't stand my— I get angry with myself because I'll end up— I'll see those sales things on Facebook and somebody will post something and, and I'm dumb enough to sometimes reply. And of course The ding-dongs, crappy salespeople all over the country have to pile on like, Perry doesn't know what he's talking about. And I'm like, of course I don't know what I'm talking about. I have no way of proving to the world that I'm the GOAT, right? And so, and then I, I comment, and then I get a bunch of really nice things. And then back, the troll, the troll says something, and I'm like, I just delete the whole thing. I'm like, it's gone. Like, don't say anything to these people.

I struggle some days. I respond to— and I've tried to do it in a way where I don't get too mad, but I do. I get, I get mad at the assholes who respond to my stuff about like working hard, and they're like, why work hard when you can work smart? And I'm like, how about fuck you? How about that? It sends me over the edge, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, like, for me, the most important thing in the entire world is my clients, right? More important than my family, because those clients are what take care of my family.

Yeah.

And so with my, with my clients, I'm very protective. And so when somebody says something that I feel like is negative towards my clients' intellect— does that make sense?

Yeah.

Whether it's about a product or about Like, I don't care if you bash me, but I don't know if somehow it— in my brain it ties to— yeah, you just—

you definitely spun that to make it affect your client so you can be mad at it.

I like it. Yes, I'm spinning it to affect my— and it's absolute horseshit, right? It's not like somebody's going in there, 'Harry's clients are stupid.' No, that's not what it is. It's just somehow in my crappy little brain, that's the only time I get upset. Or like, I got one for you. Okay.

This is one that drives me a little nuts when people say things like when we talk about doing sales and their answer is like, I need something more stable, not commission only.

Then you don't want to be in sales. That sounds great, I'm happy for you.

Yeah, but what I mean, I don't understand the thought because it's— it is— it's stable if you fucking do it right. It's pretty stable for me.

I think that that what, what we did— we do something very different now, right?

Yeah.

But what we did is not for almost anyone. I mean, it really is— the number, the percentage of people that it's right for, it's so remarkably small. So, you know, I try not to see any of the resumes that come in, but somehow my email address is stuck on the Indeed and I can see their responses.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I remember when I had used to have to deal with those, and it's like, is this commission plus hourly?

Yeah, base plus some shit, right?

And I just delete. Like, I don't reply. I don't want to play your game. But I respect that because, I mean, listen, mankind made it this far because we protect ourselves.

Yeah, true.

And what you and I do, and what got us here, is from not being safe. So what we do is not for almost— it's not for almost anyone.

Yeah.

So there's an 8% success rate according to what's-his-name, right? I don't know if that's accurate. I I, I think that's probably high.

So you think that means make it past like 1 year or 2 years or whatever his number is?

That's right. And so, yeah, so success is making it past 2 years, but a giant percentage of those went back to wherever they used to work but are still selling some life insurance on the side or something like that, right? So that percentage— so let's say for fun it is 8%. So you got 8% But it's not 8% of the population. It's 8% of the 100% that thought this was a good idea.

Yeah. And make it through to start. Right.

So, and there's like 1 in however many thousand would be, would be dumb enough or smart enough to do this. And then only 8% are still in the business after 2 years. Which means like you're looking at the percentage of population that's right for this is so insanely small.

Yeah, zero.

It's like me. It's basically zero. And so, okay, well, let's go— let's take that back to that kid who's like, where do I find someone like you? Well, well, the answer is I don't exist. John Wetmore does not exist if, if, if the statistic is zero.

For the most part, correct.

So the number of people who can actually make it, the statistic you can easily move to zero. And then you say, well, the number of people who wildly make it, what's the percentage of that zero?

0 point something.

Yeah. So then where do I find someone like John or Perry? And, and the only answer these kids can come up with is, well, I saw a video on TikTok of a guy driving a really nice car. And they're brave enough to reach out. And I love that because, yeah, how many people do you hire that are scared to reach out to anybody? This guy's— these guys are reaching out to, uh, the bald dude. So I respect the hustle. Yeah, I do too, man. And it's a great question. That's why I brought it to you. I was like, maybe you can come up with something, because the only thing I can come up with is, is LinkedIn, because that's— or not LinkedIn, but Indeed, because that's where I'm hiding But how many people are hiding that shouldn't be?

Yeah, that's funny. I have a buddy that like, when he wants to connect— now he's, he's not broke and he's not like right out of high school, but he's, he's, he has this really unique way like where he'll find— he finds people and he'll send them. Dude, he goes, if I want to get something in someone's hand and I send it to their office, there's usually gatekeepers. He's like, I like to find them and I'll send them an Amazon package of something unique from me because it will go to their house and then they'll open it because it's from Amazon or from whatever, FedEx or something like that. And there's some big names, dude, he's connected with from doing something as simple as that, where he'll find something super unique and, and find their address and send it to The problem with Amazon is they put that tiny little piece of paper in there that says who it came from.

Yeah, and it's so small you don't know. And especially like at my house, because there's always somebody ordering some kind of crap.

Yeah.

And I'll be like, what the hell is a ceramic piggy bank here? That's interesting. I wonder why my wife bought that. Throw the box away, come home. My wife's like, where did the piggy bank come from? I'm like, I don't know. Let's go. Now we're digging in. Now we're digging in the trash can like, like we lost the stamp.

Oh Lord.

Yeah, so the answer to where do you find us— you can't. You can't.

You just quit. It could be our— hey, it could be our 9 followers of our podcast.

I mean, we have actually a lot. Uh, when you take it, you go, all right, well, it's because it's separated in so many places.

I'm playing.

I know. Well, I'm not— my hurt— my feelings aren't hurt by it. But it's like, if you look here, we don't have any followers. Then you look here and you're like, we're doing okay there. And then you look over there, uh, not really.

It's coming over there, it's coming. This is like one— us living the stuff we talk about. Just keep doing it, it'll eventually work out. Like, one day this is gonna work out. And I have fun with it. Like, I actually— our— what I love is our intentions were true. Like, let's just get together and hang out once a week and fucking record it and call it something.

Yeah, when I was talking to that PBB or Pat P PD people, and they were talking about the podcast. I was like, I mean, it's just my buddy and I hanging out. Like, it's just two guys who want to hang out. And they're like, well, who— what guests do you have on there? I'm like, I had my cousin once. Like, yeah, I'm just trying to hang out with my friend because every time I hang out with them, my business gets better and I make a little more money in life and my— and I'm happier. So we hang out every week.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. It'll work. So dude, today I, um, I took my daughter to, uh, she's a senior in high school, and we drove to Milledgeville, Georgia, which is exactly where it sounds like it should be. And We went on a college tour of Georgia College, and now it's Georgia College and State University, GCSU. So she's going there. Yeah, so she's gonna— she, she already got in and accepted and whatever.

Well, congratulations.

Yeah, so we gotta— we got another one come leaving the nest, I guess, as they say. And, uh, the entire trip there, she was like wanting to know the easiest how she gets home when she wants to come home and how to navigate the internet because she don't like driving on the interstate, right? So she's trying to figure— and it's 2 and a half hours from our house-ish, and you have to go dead smack through Atlanta or around it, like it's pain in the ass. And the entire time she wants to know how to, how to make it there without going on 75 or getting on 20 or getting on the interstate. I'm like, sweetie, you're gonna have to learn how to drive on the interstate, mama. And, uh, but it was a good day. So we toured around this college. I got on— which, those that know me, I haven't told my Amanda, my staff, or any of my staff this yet, but you know, when you go to a college tour, there is no like— I couldn't find a way to not get on the shuttle bus with the 25 other people and follow the speaker. So I had this insanely controlled patience today. I got on a bus, a shuttle bus, 4 times and listened to terrible jokes about each of the buildings for my daughter.

For your daughter?

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.

You know what I, I love most about my daughter? She would handle that as well as I do, and we would be miserable together, holding hands and, and trying to project ourselves off of the bus, dude.

So last week I fly to, um, where was I? I was in Phoenix. Phoenix. I landed in Phoenix and I do Turo a lot, like when I get a car. So I, I like— I don't, I don't like going to the car rental places Because they treat you horribly.

Back to sales, that creepy where they're just trying to screw you to get you to buy the insurance. I would love it if Enterprise Rent-A-Car would sponsor our show so that I can talk about what pieces of shit they are. They're the worst company on the planet, and I want them to want to sponsor our show so I can say no, no. The worst humans ever made. Turo, that's the way to go. Absolutely the way to go.

Almost, almost. I'll tell you why. Okay, so a lot of times there's very few airports that have the rental place in the airport, but even if you do, you got to stand in an annoying line with the dipshits and like get— it's a pain in the ass. Horrible. Most of them you got to get on a shuttle and drive to the car rental place, which I don't want to do. So I'm like, all right, let me do Turo. So Turo, almost every airport, they meet me there. I walk out of the baggage claim, they hand me a key, I throw my bag in, I get in the car, I drive off. I walk— I take 7 steps out of the airport, which I like a lot.

That has not been my experience.

Really?

No, I always end up having to Uber a mile and a half. Yes.

Okay, so this—

but I don't mind. It's better than dealing with Enterprise where you, you, you rented your Cadillac or whatever it is, and you get there and then they hand you the keys to your Volkswagen Bug and you go, uh, I ordered a Cadillac or a BMW or whatever it is. I ordered this. And they're like, they got the— well, it's that or equivalent, sir. And I'm like, you think that's equivalent to that? On what planet is that equivalent to that? Show me your car and I will trade you for this thing and you tell me if it's equivalent.

They put the luggage—

I'm a jerk for going, I'm not driving a minivan. I am, I am 6'3", I am 222 pounds, uh, and I inject testosterone into myself, and I am not driving a maroon minivan where the doors are broken and open up on the side while I'm driving down the highway. I want my Cadillac.

Okay, we're the same. So get this, I get to Phoenix, right? Yep. So Turo, normally Turo, there's a couple, they can almost come into every airport. Like Boston, they don't let Turo in, so you gotta Uber down the street. It's a pain in the ass, right? And I, it drives me, and now I have like a mental thing about it where I'm like, I don't want to take more than 7 steps from the airport to my car. I'm just an asshole. I don't want to do it. Okay, so I can't do that. No, it's not too bad, dude. I'm telling you, it works out.

You got it figured out.

I get to Phoenix, okay, right? And they message right when I'm landing. They message, hey, I parked your car in economy parking over by Lot B near the fucking dog park. And I'm like, economy parking? I've been to enough airports to know that economy parking is not near the airport, right? So I'm like, bro, Economy. He goes— I go, can you not meet me out front? He goes, I don't have the time, it's only a 10-minute bus ride away. No, like, I'm like, dude, I'm not taking a bus to get your— and I rented a dope— I rented a nice car.

Yeah.

And, uh, like, I've rented some Lamborghinis before, I do Porsches, like, a Cadillac Escalade. I rent some nice stuff on Turo.

Turo's awesome.

Yeah. So this guy, he's like, got me an economy. It's like, it was like $800 for the week for whatever, whatever. We got like a, I think we had a Suburban or something, some kind of SUV. I don't remember what it was. And, uh, so he tells me economy parking. I call, I text Amanda, I'm like, help. And I sent her a screenshot of economy, take a bus. She's like, oh dude. I'm like, I can't do it. So we're on Turo searching for a new car while I'm walking to the baggage claim to find a new one. And I'm like, message them and make sure they can meet me, dude. I'm like 12 minutes from meeting the car. She goes, no, no, hold on, we use this place called Go Rentals. She's like, no, no, I'm gonna get you a Go Rental. I'm like, all right, just get me a car.

So she—

dude, in like 20 minutes, bro, she calls this Go Rental. They literally come up with a dope SUV. It looks like they're bringing the president somewhere, like those SUVs, blacked out big nice SUVs. Yeah, they pull up, they pull up, they hand you a key, you sign a little contract, another car picks him up, he takes off, and they drop it off. It's in, it's in most major airports. Go Rentals. Yeah, dude, they've— and so if I can't get a sick, uh, Turo to meet me, yeah, I'll do Go Rentals. Go Rental.

And dude, you—

Go Rental, you can, you can drop the car off like in, in the bushes at the Walmart and they'll come pick it up. They don't care. Any— you just drop it in the middle of the interstate, they'll come pick it up.

Is it an app?

I don't know. Amanda.

It's Amanda.

Okay, it's Go Rentals. I think that— I'm sure they have a website.

Were you able to get your— did you have to pay? Hell yeah, dude.

So, dude, I cancel the Turo, right? And in the Turo cancel process, it makes— it sends him a message Yeah, so I canceled the Turo. It's like, again, I think it was $800 for the week or the 4 or 5 days, whatever I was there. And, uh, it's like $137 to cancel now. I'm like, fuck yeah. So it goes, why do you want to cancel? And I'm like, I don't want to take a bus to economy. And I hit cancel. I get like 90% refunded back, and I get my Go Rental showed up.

Yeah, I would have done the same thing. Yeah, I'm not getting on that bus. And it's not because I'm too good to get on the bus. It's because I've done that bus and it sucks. Well, and they're gonna stop at 15 places. You're gonna drag your stuff around and then the guy next to you is spitting on the ground. Dude, I'm not doing that. I'm not getting on that bus.

When Steph and I go to the airport now and I do the bougie thing where they just take me to the airplane, right? We, we drop— like, when we're on the way driving to the airport or getting a ride, whatever. We have— in a lot of places have it, I think— but we used— we have this place called like Spot, The Spot or something like that, and it's like a yellow bus with black polka dots all over it. And on the way to Atlanta Airport, there's like 800 little parking, parking lots basically. And instead of parking at the airport, whatever airport prices are, you pay $4 a day and you park 14 miles from the airport and you get in a polka dot bus and they drive you to some spot in the airport. And we used to— dude, we used to go between all the parking spot places and find the one that we could get for like $3.50 a night instead of $4 a night.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have, I have flashbacks of nightmares of fighting through these fucking buses with 5 bags to get to the airport because I couldn't afford anything.

Yep.

At the time. And I'm like, dude, when I can do it, I ain't take— I am not getting on a bus again.

Jamie and I used to take amazing vacations and it would cost us nothing. Like between the where, you know, the parking and the, and the, in the cheapest and bouncing around from airline to airline and then like sharing a room and at somebody's house on Airbnb and We would have— we've, we've gone all over the world on next to nothing, and, and those were just as wonderful as the trips that we take now. But the trips we take now are less stressful, and it's like, I don't have to do that. I've done it. If I had to do it again, I'd be doing it. But right now, I don't have to get on a yellow bus with black polka dots. And also, um, Enterprise Rent-A-Car is the worst company on the planet. Just to put that back out there.

Enterprise is gonna sue us this week.

Bring it. I got 6 lawsuits for those people. I just have never sued anybody, and I'm not going to.

I—

let's go. I told you Jamie likes to hunt deer, right? My wife likes to go deer hunting with her car, and she just keeps running over deer with her BMW.

Y'all talked about that at dinner.

Yes.

So Steph's hit a deer with her car too.

All right, so Jamie drives an M8. She's hit 2 deer this year. She loves deer. She just wants to get them close and pet them. And so I'm like, listen, this is my wife's car, uh, and I— so my insurance company, uh, USAA, which is only slightly better than Enterprise Rental Car, um They're like, all right, well, you gotta go with Enterprise. So I'm like, all right, man, I don't like these guys, but it's fine. So I go to Enterprise, I go online, I reserve a Cadillac for my wife because it's my wife, man. Like, me, like, I got lots of cars, I just drive on the hot rods. I don't really care. I do care, but not— I like— I drive cars that don't have air conditioning every day, right? But my wife, when I met my wife She was a yoga instructor with a maroon minivan that the doors were always broken and stuck.

That's why you had this flashback.

Yes. And, and it's, it's like, and she went from extreme poverty when we met, and she has worked so hard. Like, you will— you've met her, she's the hardest working person you'll ever meet. Her and my sister work harder than anybody I've ever known put together. And, and, and it's like for my wife. I'm like, I'm stuck getting a rental car, I'm stuck with Enterprise, but fine, we're gonna get this Cadillac. So I go, I call up there, I'm like, listen, my wife wants a Cadillac, what's that gonna take? And they're like, well, that's gonna take 4 days. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna be out of town then. Well, it's gonna be another 4 days, so we wait a week. Then I wait that week, and then I go up there to get the Cadillac. And this whole time we haven't had— she didn't have a car, she's driving my truck. And so I go up there, I get a ride Somebody drops me off, I go inside because I called before. I go, you got the Cadillac? And they go, yeah, get up there, go inside. I'm like, hey, here for the Cadillac. And they go, oh, okay, here you go, Mr. Lunsford. First off, they made me sit there and stare at them for 20 minutes, and then they give me the keys that say Toyota on them. And I go, why does this Cadillac key say Toyota? And they were like, well, it's equivalent. I go, they go, it's that maroon, it's that maroon minivan right there. I go, listen, I don't know if you've ever seen any like PTSD Vietnam vet movies, but that's my wife with a red minivan. We do not need this reenacted at all. No, my wife is not getting a red minivan. I go, bring me something else. And they go, well, this, you know, this is the equivalent, sir. I go, no, it's not equivalent. So they bring the manager out. I'm like, listen, my wife wants Cadillac. I need Cadillac. And I realize that the Cadillac you're going to give me is a piece of shit Cadillac, but still it says Cadillac, so at least I look like I tried. And if I bring this thing home, she's gonna go Chuck Norris on me. Like Chuck Norris. There's no way I'm bringing that home to my wife. They're like, all right, well, you're gonna— it's gonna be 4 more days. I'm like, yeah, it's been 8 days. All right, come back. All right, 12 days. Come back 12 days, red minivan again. And this time they're like, well, we don't have Cadillacs at this location. I go, I'm aware you don't have Cadillacs at this location. That's why I've waited 12 days so that you would get a Cadillac at this location. They're like, who told you that? I'm like, you, you told me that. Like, you and that guy over there and the big guy over there who hadn't showered since the last time I was here. Y'all told me that. I want my Cadillac. So finally it goes 12 days in and I call and I'm on hold with Enterprise Rental Car, the worst company on the planet. And the whole time I'm on hold, I'm on hold for 25 minutes and I just go about my day and leave it the whole time I'm on hold. This is, this is what drives me crazy. Hold on, I'm on hold. I have to listen to voicemail, the little voice thing about how great their customer service is and how much they love me. And I'm like, now you're really setting the expectations high, right? So they finally get this guy, he gets on the phone, and he hung up on me, by the way, because I'm like, listen, it's okay, man. I realize you don't own this company. Uh, according to the, to the audio, it's privately owned according to this thing that you kept telling me how much you love me. It's not your fault that you work for the worst company in the world. We can get this resolved. I just need you to say Yes, Perry, I'm aware that I work for the worst company in the world, and then we can have this all behind us. I'll go get a minivan. Anyways, I ended up renting a Turo.

That's the long story.

Oh man, USAA did not pay me back. I paid $4,000 for that Turo because when my wife hits a deer, she hits it good. So it took a long time.

It's funny.

Anyways, that's my rant. I appreciate it. That's fun.

I love it. That was fun. Let's go kill it this week, dude.

Taking 7 guys to Eddie V's, which is a fancy steak restaurant in Fort Worth. I'm gonna— and then I'm interviewing— I have, uh, 6 or 8 CFOs that I'm interviewing tomorrow because I'm probably going to hire a CFO.

So because you're a badass, that's dope. Good for you, dude.

I think I need a CFO because I'm not a badass.

Oh, that's backwards thinking.

No, you need a CFO because I'm not keeping my numbers together as well as I'd like to. And I want— but the trick is, so can I find someone that I can look up to as a mentor? Because the last CFO I had, I looked up to as a mentor.

Yeah, makes sense.

And so that's what I'm going for. That's why I have so many interviews lined up tomorrow. I'm just gonna sit in a room, drink water and, and interview these guys and, and pray that I can find one, uh, that I can— that I look— can look up to, and then maybe can look up to me, and then we can mentor each other. And then, you know, this company, as we build this new branch of it, um, can have a smarter person than me helping me out with that. So, all right, man, I appreciate you.

Good week, brother. We'll see you soon.