Interview With Marci Shimoff: How to Be Happy for No Reason

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Well, hello everyone. Well, I am very honored today because we have a very special guest, Marcy Schimoff. And she is one of the leading representatives for happiness and how we can find our happiness. And she has got so much to share with us today. I can't tell you how honored and excited I am. Thank you, Marcie, for being here.

First of all, I am so delighted to get to be here with you. Joni, I love who you are, I love what you do. You've helped me in my life and I know how dedicated you are to helping people live better lives. And so I'm just, I'm honored to get to be here with you.

Thank you. Well, I am so excited too. So let me let everyone know a little bit about what you do. I have your bio here and it just speaks volumes and oh my God, it humbles me a lot to read this. So Marcy is a number one New York Times best selling author, a world renowned transformational teacher, and an expert on happiness, success, success and unconditional love. I love that. By the way, her New York Times best selling book, Happy for no Reason, Love for no Reason and six time six titles in the Chicken Soup for Women's Soul series have sold more than 16 million copies and are translated in 33 languages. She's one of the best selling female nonfiction authors of all time. Wow. I'm impressed. She's also featured teacher in the Secret the nar, the narrator of the award winning movie Happy. She currently co co leads a global online program called your, your Year of Miracles to help people live more miraculous lives. Wow. Happy for no reason. Marcy, you got to tell us how to be happy for no reason. Give us a lowdown on what this is all about because I know have transformed and changed so many lives in this world and that's the whole purpose of why I'm doing this series. Please give us some information. How do you do this? What's it all about?

Well, let me just start, if I can, with my own story about why I'm doing this, if that's all right. I, I, I. People always ask me, you know, was I born happy? And my answer is absolutely not. I was, I was born depressed. I came out of the womb with existential angst. I was actually born in Saturn and in my Saturn dasha. And I, I really, you know, I had a great family, great circumstances, but kind of this dark cloud hanging over me. I just, I think I came in with some perhaps ancestral trauma and see, so my solution to my unhappiness as a kid was sugar. It made me feel good, at least for a little bit. But in the long run, of course, that didn't work. And by the time I was in high school, I was about 35 pounds overweight, so that didn't help. And when I was in my twenties, I decided, I'm going to figure out how to get happy. And I did what a lot of people do, especially, I think, a lot of people in our society. I set goals for myself. And I figured that once I reach those goals, that's it, I'll be happy. And I set five goals for myself. I'll share them with you, because I think a lot of people can relate to these. I wanted to have a successful career helping people. I wanted to have a wonderful husband or life partner, fabulous friends, a comfortable home, and the equivalent of Halle Berry's body.

So, Joni, I got four out of the five. I don't have Halle Berry's body, but I do have a healthy body, for which I'm very grateful. And I will tell you, I worked really, really hard to get all my ducks in a row to finally be happy. And I had a turning point moment. It was in June of 1998. I had three books in the top five on the new York Times bestseller list at the same time. I had just finished giving a speech to 8,000 people, and I had autographed 5,432 books. My client had had a massage therapist there to massage my hand so I could keep on signing. And on one hand, I felt like an author, rock star. But I will tell you, after autographing that last book, I went up to my hotel room, which was the penthouse suite that my client had gotten for me. I walked over to these huge windows overlooking Lake Michigan. I was in Chicago and top of the world. And I took in that view. And I turned around and I collapsed onto that bed. And I burst into tears. And I burst into tears because I. I realized that despite everything that I had gotten in my life, I still felt that emptiness inside. I still felt that kind of hole in my heart, that dark cloud around me. And I realized that I could no longer fool myself into thinking that just the next great thing was going to help me be happier. It was kind of the end of the rope for that end of the road. And so I decided I am going to dive headlong into the field of happiness, into the field of positive psychology. What could I really do to be happy? And I interviewed all of the top researchers. I interviewed 100, what I called unconditionally happy people. I call them my happy hundred. And I started doing what they were doing, and it worked. I tell you, I went from what I would call a d plus in happiness if you were giving me a grade to an A.

I'm a solid A. I'm still working on it. It's still a work in progress, but it's there. It's solid. And what I know is I've now shared this with hundreds, with millions of people, and I know that it's possible for anyone to raise their happiness level. And really, happiness is the thing that we all want. You know, it's the thing. It's the reason we want. Everything we think we want is ultimately because we want it to make us happy. The reality is, I say get happy first, and then all those other goodies follow.

That's so true. I mean, everyone thinks, oh, I'll be happy once I get this. Once I lose weight, I. I'll do this. And of course you can't. You have to be happy first. And then all the other things fall into place. You've got it. You're an amazing. I mean, it's just so real and practical. Your. Your spiritual truths and this. If we all live by this, we'd have this realization of being happy. And you're so right. All of us, we don't realize it, but at the bottom line of everything, all we really want to be happy. We just. We just label all these things. This is what will make me happy. Yes.

I call it the I'll be happier when syndrome. Yeah, I'll be happier when I get married. I'll be happier when I get divorced. You know, whatever, whatever. And. And here's the cool thing, Joanie. The science. Science has actually cracked the happiness code. We know what it takes for people to be happy. We have an epidemic of unhappiness in our world. One out of for women is on antidepressants. And it's just we have. And especially teenagers, it's just we have this epidemic of unhappiness, yet we've cracked the happiness code, and we know what it takes. I think that should be headline news. I think it should be taught in all the schools. And so let me just answer that question you asked of what does it take to be happier? Here's what the science has found. We all have what's called a happiness set point, and it's a thermostat. It's like a thermostat setting. And no matter what happens to us, whether it's Great or not great, we will tend to return to our happiness set point unless we do something to consciously change it. This, by the way, explains why people who win the lottery. You know, I know a lot of people think, you know, if I won the lottery, then I'd be happy. You would be for a couple months. Within a year, you would be back at your original happiness set point. So it's the set point that is the key. And here's how it's determined. Your happiness set point is 50% genetic. You're born with it. Now, I was not born with the happiness genes. And, you know, I bet even in people's charts, you can see, are they born with that tendency for happiness? I was not. It's 10%. Your circumstances. Now, that is a tiny piece of the pie. And yet that's what everybody's trying to fix in order to be happier. That's what I spent the first 35, 38 years of my life focusing on. Or 30 years. I think, really, what can I do to be happy from the outside? The other 40% is our habits of thoughts and behavior. And that's what we can really shift to shift our happiness level. And I'm going to take it a step further and say that researchers in the field of epigenetics, like Dr. Bruce Lipton, he wrote a book called the Biology of Belief. They will say that even our genes can be influenced or changed by changing our habits. So that means that 90% of our happiness set point is influenced by simple habits. And what I have found is that the only difference between happy people and everybody else is that they have different habits. And to me, that's our freedom. Wow. All I have to do is change certain specific habits, and I can be happier. Hallelujah.

Now, how do you do that? Give us. Give us some. What is. What are the tools, techniques, how do you do this? Yes.

So what I found is that there are 21 main happiness habits. And these 21 main happiness habits fall into seven categories.

And what I'm going to do in just in a moment is I'm going to describe these seven categories. And what I want everybody to do is to look at them or to hear them and identify which one are you the weakest in? Because where you're the weakest, that's your Achilles heel, and that's where you want to start strengthening it. Okay, now I remember. And, Joni, I'm going to ask you, when I go through these at the end, which one you feel you're the weakest in? So I Found that it's hard for people to remember seven of anything. So I created a metaphor. I call it building your inner home for happiness. And the home is the metaphor. A home has seven main areas and they are the foundation of your house. Your four corner pillars, a roof, and the garden. And here's how these seven areas relate to happiness. The foundation is taking responsibility for your happiness, taking responsibility for your life. That means not showing up as a victim in life. Victims are people who blame, shame or complain. So you know you're in victim mode when you're blaming others. Shaming, which means blaming yourself or complaining your happiness. You can shift your happiness. Even though you've had all those circumstances to blame, or even though there are things around you to complain about, you can still shift your happiness and not be a victim, but be what I call a victor in life. So that's the foundation. Then there's the four corner pillars. The first pillar is the pillar of the mind. Your thoughts. Do your thoughts rob you of happiness? Do you have those incessant negative thoughts that drag you down? Then there's the pillar of the heart. Do you live with an open heart? I have never met a happy, truly happy person who has a closed heart. Who has a closed heart. So the heart. Do you live with gratitude? Do you have forgiveness? Do you have generosity? Do you have kindness? These are the things that are open hearted people have. Then there's the pillar of the body.

Happiness is a biochemical event. Do you have the chemicals of happiness? Do you have enough serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, gaba? I did not. That was my weakest link is I did not have the biochemistry of happiness. And I started off working there. And that helped with some very natural things that you can do physically to help. Then there's the pillar of the soul. And the soul has to do with our connection to the bigger, greater energy of life. And I don't care what you call that, whether you call that God, the divine, creative intelligence, spirit, doesn't matter nature, but feeling that connection to a greater wholeness in life. And then there's the roof of your home for happiness. And the roof has to do with your purpose or passion. Are you living an inspired life? Are you doing your dharma? Are you doing what it is you are here on this planet to be doing? And then finally the garden. The garden is who are you surrounded by? Do you have a lot of roses and gardenias, the people who uplift and inspire you around you? Or do you have those weeds or.

Happiness robbers, the negative people, the toxic people around you, the energy vampires. So those are the seven areas. There's taking responsibility for your happiness, the mind, the heart, the body, the soul, your purpose, and then your relationships and who you're surrounded by. So your weakest link, I just said mine, has always been the body and the biochemistry. Tell me, Joni, what do you think yours is?

My negative thoughts. That's it. I mean, I've gotten over the victim thing. I used to be. I've learned, you know, through all of my spiritual work, I've. I've realized the victim thing. So I take responsibility, and I admit when I'm wrong, and I, you know, look at that. But the negative thoughts still come penetrating in the open heart. I think I'm pretty good with that because I absolutely love what I do, and I love people, and I love working with them. I think life is a joy because of that. So I surround myself with great people. And the other thing was. What was the last thing?

Well, your purpose and passion doing that.

I have that. I mean, I absolutely love my life. I can't wait to get out of bed every day to do what I do because I love working with Vedic astrology and I love working with people, but I can't help those negative thoughts that, throughout the day, penetrate my mind. What do I do with that?

Great, great question. So here's the deal. The Average person has 60,000 thoughts a day, and for the average person, 80% of them are negative. It's natural. We inherited this tendency. It's called the negativity bias. And we inherited it from our caveman ancestors who had to remember the negatives to survive, or we're their descendants, but we don't need it like they did. And so what I found that happy people do is they've learned to create new neural pathways in the brain that lead them towards the positive. So the first thing I don't want you to do is don't beat yourself up for having all those negative thoughts. They're natural. Okay? So don't beat yourself up. A dear friend of mine, Rick Hanson, who wrote a wonderful book called Buddha's Brain, he says that our minds are like Velcro for the negative, but Teflon for the positive. The negatives stick to us like Velcro. The positive slide off of us like Teflon. And I'll give you a good example of this. If you get 10 compliments in a day and one criticism, what do you remember at the end of the day?

Always the negative criticism. Right. That's crazy, though.

So here's what we want to do. Happy people have learned to reverse this tendency where they Velcro the positives and Teflon the negatives. So I'm going to give you three steps to help you do that. These are all scientifically proven steps, and they're so crazy simple. The first one is to imagine that you are the Academy Awards committee and your job is to give out five Academy Awards every day. And what this does, the tip, is to be on the lookout for the good. That's the very first step. There is a lot of good in this world, but we've got to be on the lookout for it. And so the job that you've got is to pretend that you're the Academy Awards committee and you're giving out five Academy Awards. So you might be walking down the street and you see this cute little fluffy white dog and you go, that gets the cutest dog of the day award. Or you witness an act of kindness and you go, that gets the act of kindness award. So that's the first step. Five of those a day. It puts your attention on. What we put our attention on is what grows in our life. And it puts our attention on looking for that good.

Well, that's a beautiful thing because it makes us focus in on the things that are beautiful in this world. And like you say, this is a beautiful world if we recognize it and focus in on that.

That's right. Absolutely.

I'm going to practice and. And I'm sure it's going to up my happiness level if I get rid of all this negativity that keeps popping in my mind when I don't want it to, but it does. So guess it's all past conditioning. That's what I blame it on.

Right? It is true. That is exactly. Exactly right.

Yeah. So we're all there. We all have that. We all tend to judge and, you know, that just needs to stop. So.

So I know you want the other two steps.

What? What was that?

The other two steps. So this is a three step process. Oh, for creating. No, we have two more steps.

Thank you.

So the second step, the first step is to be on the lookout for good. The second step is to savor the good for at least 20 seconds.

Okay.

It takes the mind 20 seconds to register the good. It's long enough to be able to create a new neural pathway in the brain. So when you see that cute little dog, don't just go, there's a cute dog. You've got to take it in for 20 seconds. So maybe go over to the owner and say, your dog gets the Academy Award for the cutest dog of the day today. And, you know, it starts a little conversation. Or if you see a great sunset, instead of just going, oh, there's a beautiful sunset. Sit with it, be with it for at least 20 seconds. You know, take it in like you're. Like you're taking in a delicious dessert. Allow yourself to savor the good. And then the third step is to go for a three to one ratio, three positives to one negative. So when those negatives come in, that's fine. You know, it's. Perhaps you need to pay attention to it. Perhaps it's a good thing for you to notice it so that you can attend to it. But if it's just an old negative pattern, what you want to do is replace it by focusing on three positives, and it just starts to overpower or overrule the old pattern. And the cool thing is, is once you've established more positive neural pathways in the brain, you start to notice the good more often and more easily. It just becomes more natural because it's habituated.

Okay, thank you.

Yes.

That is amazing. Yeah. So I want to. I want to ask some of your stories because you are a lover of Vedic astrology and I have worked with you with Vedic astrology.

I love, love, love working with you. You're awesome.

Thank you. And you are, too. So tell us a little bit about your interest in how you got into Vedic astrology and anything you can think of about your love of Vedic astrology.

Yes. So I.

I call Vedic astrology my secret weapon. I absolutely have used it in my personal life and in my career with such phenomenal results that it's staggering. And I'd love to maybe share one story about how it's showed up in my business and then one story about how it's showed up in my personal life. If I can, I would love it. People love this particular stories. So.

And.

And there's some teaching points in these as well. Years and years ago, I learned a formula. When I was in my 20s, I learned a formula for success. And the formula had three steps. It's similar to the law of attraction. A lot of people call it the law of attraction. These particular three steps, I love them because they rhyme and they are intention, attention, and no tension. Intention. Be clear about what it is you want in life. Attention. Put your attention meaning your thoughts, your words, your feelings, and your actions behind your intention. Give it your life force and energy and then the third step is no tension in a place of peace, trust, surrender, ease. Now, what I found is that most people are good at one or two of those steps, but not really good at one of them. And for me, that is the case. I've always been clear on my intentions. I've always been like a dog with a bone, persistent about, you know, my intentions, putting my attention on them, my thoughts, words, feelings and actions. And I have been really bad about no tension. You know, I feel. I felt like I need to be the general manager of the universe and could make, make everything happen and not, you know, kind of trust, surrender, let go. So here's how this story goes. When I was 13 years old, I was getting ready for school one day and looking in the mirror and a vision of my life came over me. I saw myself traveling around the world, speaking and inspiring people. And that was my goal. I saw myself just inspiring millions of people.

I was very persistent with this goal. I went to college, I came home, I told my parents I'm going to be a professional speaker. They said they'd never heard of it. My mom said, honey, you sure talk enough, you might as well get paid for it. I just seen Zig Ziglar speak and I said, that's what I'm gonna do. So anyway, so I got an MBA in training and development and I started off teaching in corporations and getting my experience.

And then I was teaching seminars around the country, but I wasn't getting super far. I wasn't like. And in 1990.

I had a Vedic astrologer tell me that In September of 1996 I would have a best selling book now, Joni, I thought he was crazy. It's actually, I think, you know, he's no longer with us, but Bill Levassey. Oh, yeah, Bill. And I said, this is ridiculous. I don't write. I don't like writing. It's crazy. He said, no, no, it's going to happen. So the next couple of years, I was still doing my speaking and traveling around the country and I was getting burned out. And one day I was. Intention and attention were strong, but no, tension was not there. One day a dear friend of mine came to me and said, marcy, you look terrible. Those aren't the words she used. She said, you look like. She said, I'm going to take you away with me on a silent seven day meditation retreat so you can relax and let go and be in no tension. I said, that's ridiculous. I'm a speaker. I haven't been quiet for two hours in my life. I can't. I can't imagine being in silence for seven days. But she was very convincing. Her name was Janet Atwood. She wrote a beautiful book called the Passion Test.

And she dragged me with her to the seven day silent meditation retreat. On the fourth day, in the middle of silence, I saw the words Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul. And nobody had thought of a specialty book in the Chicken Soup series. My mentor was Jack Canfield, but the only book that was out was Chicken Soup for the Soul. And I knew as soon as I saw those words that was it. That's how I was getting in front of a worldwide audience. But there was one problem with this story, Joni. With this situation. I still had three more days of silence. I had my great epiphany, and I couldn't tell anybody. As soon as the silence was over, I ran to the closest payphone. I called up Jack. I said, jack, Chicken Soup for the Woman Soul. He said, I can't believe nobody thought of it. That's a great idea. And he called up the publisher. Publisher said, I can't believe nobody's thought of it. It's a great idea.

My first book, Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul, came out in September of 1996 and went to number one on the new York Times bestseller list the first week it was out, just as Bill had said. And then to add a little bit more to this, just before the book came out, he said, marcy, watch out. You know, you're going to have a second book come out next year in the fall of 1997, and it's going to be even bigger in some ways than the first book. I said, well, come on, Bill, that's ridiculous. There can't be a second book here. I mean, the two books on Chicken Soup with the Soul, that's got to be enough. He said, no, no, do it and do it on mothers. So I went to the publisher and said, what about Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul? And it should come out in October of 1997, according to my astrologer. And they said, okay, we'll do it. And it, in fact, in many ways surpassed the first book. So I've used Vedic astrology for every contract signing since 1995. I've used it for every book launch. I've used it for every big event. It is my go to. I think it's the best tool out there on timing. It's the best tool out there on. On all kinds of things. So I'M just a huge fan.

It is, it is. It's like to use Vedic astrology, it's just like everything is a cycle, everything. There's a, there's a better time to do things. I remember my astrology teacher used to say, you know, there's a better time to get a tan. It's like in the middle of the summer at noon rather than the middle of the winter at sunset. You know, it's like there's a better time to do things and why not heed these the cycles to improve and enhance what we are doing with our lives? Anyway, so you're, you're right on astrology along with all of these wonderful tools that you have. I mean this makes sense life, what it's supposed to be full of joy and happiness, as you say.

And you know, the other thing, I thank you. I just, I so agree with what you're saying because the other thing is Vedic astrology can, can indicate your intention. You know, where, where do you, you know, clarity about your purpose and passion in life. And, and, and as you said, the best time to set sailing is when the sailing is good, you know, and it also helps save your psychology on things. I remember after I'd finished my last Chicken Soup for the Soul book, I was burned out on Chicken Soup for the Soul. I couldn't do any more. Even though there was still money to be made, I couldn't do it. And I decided I wanted to write a book on happiness. But I was in this sort of pregnancy phase and I wasn't having huge success on the outside. And again I went to Bill, I said, I'm kind of in this kind of lull. He said, don't worry. He said, in and the fall of 20 2006, something big is going to come along and it's going to catapult you back onto the world stage in a bigger way. He says it's going to be bigger than chicken soup for the soul. And once again I said, you're crazy.

Right?

It's going to be bigger than chicken soup for the soul. And then in the fall of 2006, the secret came along. Yeah, so it's what I love about Vedic astrology is it can tell you the cycles of, here's a more inward cycle where you don't, you know, it's not, you're not going to be as outward. And so, you know, I didn't feel as, as afraid of, you know, that's it, chicken soup. I'm a one hit wonder. So it's really it really helps in knowing those cycles. I'm just beyond grateful. Beyond grateful. And I agree with you. You've got to know, I believe that Vedic astrology is the tool that you use to then also go use.

The habits that help you succeed. Because it's both of them together.

Exactly, exactly. So using the awareness of, you know, everything that you've researched and knowing the right cycles, the right timing and you know, astrology is really for everything. You can do charts to, like you say, to do business contracts, you know, set the time. Everything has a birthday, everything has a new beginning. And you know, like when people get married, you should, you know, choose the birth date for that, anything that you want to empower because you can choose that day. That's actually, you know, electional astrology. And then the other aspect is even if you lose something, you're trying to find something horary, astrology can help you find lost items. I mean, astrology can be used for everything. I look at it as the physics and the cycles, everything of the universe. And you know, since I got into astrology 40 years ago, I, I really found that it made me closer to understanding my spirituality, my truth, my purpose, my destiny. What am I here to do? When you can find all these things out and follow the path of least resistance, empower people by what their chart is saying. This is such a beautiful tool for self empowerment and most of all for our spirituality, for growing on this level, that when we follow this path of our spiritual purpose, it heals. It heals our heart, our souls, our mind. And see, you are so much a part of that. And you have been doing that with your whole life. And that's why you've come upon your success and most of all, Marcy, your happiness.

Well, you know, here's the great thing, is that when I talk about happiness, I call it happy for no reason. And what I mean by that is an inner state of peace and well being that doesn't depend on your circumstances. It doesn't mean you're walking around 247 with a silly grin on your face. You know, things happen, people die, you're gonna grieve, you get upset about something. You know, there's anger, but there's behind all of that, there's this inner unshakable place of peace and well being that isn't disturbed. And that is true spirituality. That is freedom. You know, I think of somebody like his Holiness, the Dalai Lama, who has lost, you know, his country and his home and all of that. There's an unshakable happiness in him that is, and that I believe, is the purpose that all of us are alive. We are here to experience that inner state of peace and well being. It's the essence of, of who we are. It is really the essence of who we are. And there is a, you know, I feel like there is a.

Flow of our lives. I now teach a program called Living in the Miracle Zone. And it's about living in that place where life just is in the flow. Synchronicities happen, you know, where you're in that flow. And I think Vedic astrology so helpful for getting in that flow and also really connecting in with that deep essence of peace and well being. I have to say I promised that I was going to tell the personal story as well about this and I want to make sure that I get through to that. Is that okay?

Yeah, I love it.

All right, so.

In 1999, in January.

I went to a naughty leaf reader. And maybe you can explain what that is because I don't even exactly understand it. Can you explain what that is?

Well, it's in India, what it is, everyone has their naughty leaf. And the astrologers, they go, when you come, you give them your name and they go and they go through all these files and sometimes they don't find your leaf, but when they do, it is your whole life story. And I've had people, I haven't had it done personally, but I've had people that came back and they're going, I don't know how they did it, but they knew the name of my father, my mother. And I mean they don't say it begins with an M or a D. No, they come out with the full names of, of your siblings, your parents. And trust me, they didn't even know you were going to show up that day. So they're not going on the Internet and researching. They know these things. It's written in leaves and that's what I know. But here's one thing I have heard that's very interesting, that everything about your past is 100% correct. But sometimes some of the things on the Future are not 100%. And I think that's because we have free will. We have the ability to change things. So that's what I know about the naughty leaf readers.

Yes, I, that was a beautiful description and I agree with you that the past, it's like the Akashic record of the past. But we have the ability to alter the future by the habits we choose and by how we live our lives. So I went to this naughty leaf reader in January of 1999, and he looked at my leaf, and he said, oh, your life is so successful and all of that. He said, but you're here because you want to get married. I was 41. For those people doing quick math, it makes me 65 now. I'll do it for you. And he said, well, let me. Let me tell you about your husband and what's coming up for you. He said, over the next few months, you're going to meet three men back to back. They'll all be foreign, and none of them is your husband. And I looked at him, I said, that's crazy. I don't mean I can go years between meeting one interesting man to meet three in a row. I, you know. He said, no, no, it's going to happen. He said, and then. And then in six months to one year, you're going to meet the fourth man, and that's your husband. And let me describe him to you. He'll have dark hair and a mustache. He'll be Mediterranean, born and raised in Italy. He'll be a therapist, working with people. He'll love dance, music and art. And he'll be six years younger than you. And I looked at him and I said, that's ridiculous. I don't date younger man. It's not going to happen. He said, I can't help it. He's your destiny. Well, Joni, once again, I left there thinking, okay, that was a waste, right? Over the next. The next week, I think I met the first of my three foreign men. I met three foreign men back to back. None of them were it. Two of them are still my good friends. I just became friends with them because I gotten that little inkling from him. Then I forgot about the reading. Nine months later, I'm in New York at the Omega Institute, and I end up meeting the fourth man. It was actually a friend of mine. I parked my car in this parking lot, big parking lot, and this woman gets into a car right next to me just as I'm arriving. And she's the only woman that I had met there the year before that I had befriended. And she says to me, marcy, do you like big macho guys? She said, are you still single? I said, yes. She said, you want to meet a guy? I said, yes. She said, do you like big macho guys? I said, yes. She goes, well, there's a guy on my course that I think you might want to meet, but he's not that big macho guy. He's More the sensitive type. I said, I don't know. She said, do you like older men? I said, yeah. She goes, well, he's not that he's younger than you. And I said, I don't think I want to meet him. And just when I said that, she turns and way over across the other side of park lot, in that instant, she goes, oh, my God, there he is. And I looked over. I couldn't see his face. I just saw his energy. I said, I want to meet him. And she takes me over to him. She says, sergio, here's my friend Marcy. They just come off a dance course. You've got to. You've got to meet her and teach her the dance. He takes me in his. In his arms and dances me across the gravel parking lot. I look in his eyes and I said, that's my husband.

Oh, my God.

And Sergio had dark hair. Had. Had a mustache at the time, and dark hair. He's now gray. And he was born and raised in Italy. He's a therapist.

He is.

Loves dance, music, and art. And he is successful, years younger than I am.

Amazing. That's amazing. I love that story. Thank. Thank you for telling it. Yeah. Because this is. You know, I hear these stories all the time. Astrology does this. It is that amazing. And it just goes to show that certain parts of our lives, we have a certain destiny, but. But we have the free will to change. And that can bring us back to the most important point that I think you're here to teach us all is our happiness.

Is our happiness. And I will tell you, all my life, people told me, oh, yes, it's wonderful to have a life partner, but when. But don't expect them to make you happy. And Sergio didn't. I had to work on my own happiness. I came up with happy for no reason when we were married. And I have seen how much each of those practices. I have 21 practices. And, you know, I've just given you one of them. I mean, there are simple things that we can do to, like, I'll just give you one more because I want to have people have a little bit of a toolbox. And that is if you're. If your physiology is not necessarily that happy. And mine was. I was low in serotonin. There's a simple exercise called a sunning meditation that I learned from a qigong master.

Jill Marin is his name. Very, very simple. All you do is you go outside and you face the sun and close your eyes and you allow the sun's rays to come in and hit your pineal gland for about two to three minutes. So your eyes are closed. You're allowing the sun to come in and hit the pineal gland and kind of wash over your body. If you do this for two to three minutes twice a day for a week, you will completely raise your serotonin levels. And now, people who live in a place where there's not sun, even if it's cloudy, but you can feel the sun's rays coming through, it will work. But if it's raining, you can do it from inside. Looking at nature, anything that's beautiful will do it. And this will reset your serotonin, which also helps you sleep better because it creates more melatonin. So I just want to emphasize there are simple things that we can do that don't take long that actually can shift our happiness set point.

Wow, that's so easy. As a matter of fact, I'm going to run outside in a minute.

But hey, tell everyone. How can we get a hold of you if somebody wants to take some of your classes? You've got such amazing tools and techniques. I'm sure people want to know more about how to get in touch with you.

Well, if you're interested in greater happiness, you can go to happy fornoreason.com and that's happy. And then for spelled out F O R.

And in there, I've got a free happiness workbook. It's got all 21 of the happiness habits and an exercise to go along with each of them. It's also got a happiness assessment so you can see where you are on the happy for no reason continuum. And then also, if you're interested in knowing more about living a miraculous life, you can go to your year yearofmiracles.com your yearofmiracles.com wow.

Well, I wanted to put this series together so that we could help people, help people grow in awareness, consciousness, their spirituality. And you are so amazing because I guarantee you, everyone that's watching this is going to be inspired to follow some of your simple tools and techniques that can truly change their lives. And that's what we're all here for.

Absolutely. Joni, can I leave one idea, one little tiny thing? Because people are always asking me, isn't it selfish to want to be happy? You know, what about the rest of the world? Don't we have to worry about that? And my answer is, it's the least selfish thing that you can do. Because when you're happy, you are impacting the people all around you. They say that our happiness impacts at least five people out. People that you don't even know.

You know you are being happier impacts your. Your neighbor's son's school teacher's cousin, you know, that's. And. And so I would leave you with a Chinese proverb that sums up why I am so passionate about this. It goes like this. It says, when there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. When there's beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. When there's harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. And when there's order in the nation, there will be peace in this world. And my prayer and my wish for every single one of us is that we know that light in our souls. Jyotish. Light in our souls. And through that, we help create more peace here on this planet of ours.

Oh, my God. That is so beautifully said. And I always say, hey, we can't check. We can't change anyone but ourselves. We can't change other people. But when you do work on yourself, of course it has that effect on the world. What it is reflected out there. And the vibration of what we're doing will reflect and vibrate through everyone else. That's. That's how I see what you're saying. And you are so right. Thank you. I mean, your words of wisdom and advice are. Are just beyond belief. And Marcy, I love you. You are amazing human being. Thank God that you're here to help us all. Really, my pleasure, My honor to have you on my show, and I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, thank you.