Avoidable Mistakes when Settling Estates: Good Advice for Older Adults and Their Children

Welcome to the Living to 100 Club Podcast.

Well, hello to everyone joining us today on our podcast. You're listening to one of our public episodes this month on the Living to 100 Club program, and I'm your host, Joseph Casciani. Each week, our conversations educate and inspire, helping you get the best out of all the years we're given, regardless of what obstacles come our way. These public episodes air twice a month. With a premium membership, subscribers can listen to an episode every week. 2 public and 2 premium, so subscribers have access to 2 additional episodes per month. All episodes share educational and inspiring stories. Premium episodes are for subscribers only, so be sure to sign up today at livingto100club.supercast.com. Our guest for today is David Eady. David is a certified executor advisor. From personal experience, David shares the problems that arise when families resist, avoid, and ignore conversations about death and the need for estate planning. We discuss how parents often do not convey their wishes out of fear of upsetting their children, or procrastinate on conversations about inheritance or end-of-life wishes. Tune in to hear what David says is the biggest gift of love, is to leave an estate that is organized. First, a little background. David Eady is a Certified Executor Advisor who has worked in the financial planning industry for more than 35 years. But David is not just an expert, he's someone who knows this topic inside and out from personal experience. Having spent 7 years and $50,000 in lawyer fees to come to an agreement with his siblings over his parents' estate. And that was with a written will. The grief, frustration, and stress of that experience were life-threatening— life-altering for David. I'm going to repeat that: the grief, frustration, and stress of that experience was life-altering for David. He was determined to write a book in order to help others successfully navigate the difficult tasks of estate planning and executorship so that families could stay together rather than fall apart. David, welcome to our program.

Joe, it's a pleasure. Really appreciate you taking the time to have this conversation with me.

Yeah, well, you're very welcome. I always like to open by asking our guests to tell us a little bit about the journey that brought you to where you are today. I touched on the highlights of your personal family experience, but tell us about the journey and the highlights and how you got to, came, how you came to be where you are today.

Well, as you said, you know, when you're talking about my career, I, as I said, you said, I've been an advisor for over 35 years. And, you know, I'm happy, you know, and it was not until, you know, 2000 and probably 10 where things started to get a little crazy. When I say crazy, when it, you know, when it came to my parents and, you know, subsequently a year later my mom passed away and then another year, less than a year later, my father had passed away. Both were gone, gone to cancer. And it was at that point, as an advisor in my career, but as just as an individual, I saw the changes that took place in my family. And that was because of the, the deaths of my parents, you know, the, the dementia that my father suffered through. And, you know, how, you know, their final years and days changed the course of us children that were left behind and, uh, left us as, uh, as orphans.

Wow. So tell us what happened with your family. And we, we know it took 7 years.

Well, yeah, I would say it's— it was 7. Yeah, it's 7 years, and it's also the 10 court appearances and that, um, $50,000 of, uh, lawyers fees and As an advisor, um, financial advisor, it wasn't uncommon for me to sit in on, um, you know, when clients were in meeting with an estate lawyer, and I would sit in, you know, just because a lot of times the terms, or they might forget things. So I would always sit there and be there when they were getting their wills done and their estate plan. Um, but on the day when my parents came to my office and, uh, they were getting their will done, I couldn't— I wasn't in the room. I couldn't fathom the thought of being in the room talking about my parents' death and their, you know, not being there anymore. Fortunately, my older sister was there, so she was able to, you know, answer questions and help them, help them along. But that was probably the beginning of the end of where the problems would arise because, you know, they did their will over— at that time was probably 10, 15 years earlier. Fast forward to when my mother got sick and then passed away, you know, and I should also say that our estate, their estate was always set up that it would be split among 3 siblings. So in my mind and my other sister's mind, that should be good enough. You know, what could be fairer than split equally? But there was always, there was one sibling who one didn't know there was a will, didn't know that it was set up and Um, subsequently, um, when my father passed away a year later, um, contested everything that was split, supposed to be split 3 ways. They wanted it, uh, 2/3 in their name and 1/3 between my sister and myself to split.

Uh-huh.

So that was part of the dispute then, that, um, well, that's, that's the crux of the, the dispute because, uh, you know where the problem broke down in the family is that my parents never sat down and told us exactly what they want, what their wishes were. You know, if we look at how my mom set up her estate, she made sure that she had the will, but she didn't have the conversations with us. But she did have a— we were executors. She did have a pre-planned funeral, so that made it easier on us when we were planning out the funeral and taking care of those things because we're getting over her death. And then on the other side, we had my father who was blind. He had dementia, and he also had prostate cancer. And he had no funeral arrangements. And by that time, he was not happy with me because I had to, you know, have him put into a hospital because of his dementia. He became violent towards my mother. And so I had to have them apart. So after 40 years of them living together, he no longer could live in the house. So it was just for the safety of my mother. So at that point, it just started to deteriorate even more, which contributed to more of the complications of settling the estate.

So it was, as you say, the crux of the dispute was that one sibling said equal is not fair. Correct.

Yeah, and we might think, well, you know, equal may be fair, but when it comes to an inheritance, I like to say that you never know about somebody until you have to share one with them. And how I came about writing the book is that during the time what I was going through, what I would, you know, telling what I was going through to clients and friends, close friends, and then I started to hear, you know, executors telling me stories of what they had gone through. And then I'd hear about a family that had broken up and weren't talking to them, to each other, and they all too had broken up. So it seemed it wasn't how, as much as I thought it was, uh, my, our family problem, it seems to be a problem that a lot of families go through. And so I didn't want other families to go through what I did, went through, so I decided to write the book.

Sure. Yeah, you could see that yours was not the exception, and there were other families, and you wrote the book. We'll get to the book more in a few minutes. But so what's the, um, why are there no conversations about estate planning? Let's jump right into it. What, what is the elephant in the room?

Well, because I think it, it comes down to the crux of people, the fear of people, uh, talking about death, and it makes people uncomfortable. So what will happen is most times people will avoid it because they believe that if they talk about it, it's going to happen. They're probably going to procrastinate and say, well, you know, it's not really the right time. I'll do it in the future, you know, when I get my first house or when I get older, you know. So they'll, they'll put us, you know, procrastinate that, or they'll be apathetic to it and saying, you know what, I'm really not going to do anything because when I die, I'm dead, it's not gonna be my problem. And that's probably one of the biggest mistakes that people can make, because what you're doing, if you don't— haven't got any sort of estate plan or any sort of— people don't know what your wishes are, what you're leaving to your family is leaving them to become disorganized and in chaos, and they're lost and they don't know what to do. So that biggest gift of love that you talked about before it's the biggest gift of love that you can do is to organize yourself to make sure that others understand your situation, uh, of what your wishes are and where you want to go when it comes to your estate plan, your end-of-life, um, plans, and, um, you've had the proper conversations.

So even if there is a will, there's still a need for these conversations, right? What—

absolute, absolute, because a lot of Families might say, well, you know what, I do have a will, so that's not a problem. It's still a problem because now you're leaving the paperwork to do the talking for you, and people can misinterpret what you want. Um, the executor may misinterpret what you want. Family members who thought they were entitled to something or they were going to get something, um, are going to misinterpret it, and it can bring on, you know, family discourse.

Hmm.

So you, so you really need to have the conversations.

Yeah. Yeah. So let's, let me try to understand what the conversation should be.

I mean, even if there is a will and the, well, when you, you say the conversation, the will, close to 60% of Americans don't even have an estate plan, or which includes a will or an up-to-date will. So just starting, uh, having a will. Is a big step for most individuals. And again, it comes back to where, you know, why don't they have it? They avoid it, they procrastinate, or they're apathetic about it. So the first step is to have that will. The next step is to, um, you know, have the conversation in terms of if you're going to have the will, um, who are you going to choose as the executor? And that's a focal point because it's the biggest one of the biggest favors that you're asking of somebody to do for you is to take on the job of being the executor. And 99% of people who are left to be executors have absolutely no idea what to do, what the job entails, and what the responsibilities are, and what they're legally being held accountable for.

Okay, so first of all, the foundation is having a will in place, and then secondly, The individual needs to designate who the executor is going to be and have a conversation with the executor as to what's involved, what it entails, what are the responsibilities. So what should the, what should the, what should the person know about becoming an executor?

It's the worst job you could ever have in your life. Okay, well, let's, let's, let's start there because it's the worst. I say that because You're now asking an individual to take on at least 100 hours of their time, and, and most of it's going to be during working hours that they're going to try have to settle the estate. And it can take anywhere between 18 to 24 months on average to settle an estate. In my case, it was 7 years. I know of estates that have gone on even longer that still have to be settled. So you're asking someone to take on this responsibility to settle the estate and make sure that your wishes are carried out. And on top of that, you know, make sure the taxes are paid, make sure the beneficiaries are communicated with, and also to make sure that you work with the right professionals to get it done as quickly as possible. So there's a lot of things that the— an executor is responsible for, and they need to be organized and know which way they need to go in terms of how to, you know, start the process going. And when I say make sure that the beneficiaries are paid, you have to make sure that you communicate with them. It doesn't take long before, if you seem to be not communicating or not moving fast enough, it doesn't take long for the beneficiaries to want to take you to court, which is going to eat into that 100 hours because now you're going to have to defend yourself in court because you are the legal representative of the estate as the executor. So you want to, you know, make sure that you communicate with the executor, the beneficiaries. Let them understand what the process going, how it's going on, you know, by, you know, every week or two with an email or a Zoom meeting. Just let them know that what— that things are happening, you know, it takes a while for the taxes to be paid, those sort of things like that. So you, as the executor, you need to go in with your eyes wide open, knowing exactly what you're getting yourself into when you accept a job. I have a friend that who was, who's right now executor to 6 different people. But that's because they're within the family realm and she has an idea of what needs to be done. She's done it for a friend before. But there's one family member asked her to be the executor and she flatly refused because she knew the dynamics of the beneficiaries, the brother and the sister, and it was her uncle that was asking her to be the executor, and she turned it down because she knew what sort of relationship the two beneficiaries had and how much trouble she would be having going forward. So if you're asked to be the executor, also understand you don't have to say yes. You could say no. Um, so don't feel like you're pressured, but if you want to take on this responsibility and you want to do this one big favor, then understand, going with your eyes wide open, of what the job entails.

Yeah, good advice. So the decedent makes the wishes known in the will, but also it's even better to convey those wishes verbally before the person passes away so the executor knows each of the subtleties, all the nuances of the, you know, the responsibilities.

Yeah, let them know. Well, you want to—

Much more informed decision to accept or not.

You want to prep the executor as much as possible. But you also want to have a family meeting with the beneficiaries and, you know, bring it up, you know, and maybe at a holiday gathering. I don't, you know, say you should do it over the dinner table. By the way, I've updated my will and you, Johnny, have been left out of it. Pass the gravy. I'm saying it's not the right time to do it. You need to have that conversation, but maybe wait till after the Thanksgiving Day dinner. Maybe the next day or a couple hours later, and, you know, sit down everybody and say, you know what, I made an update to my will, and these are the things that I want. I want to be cremated. This is my executor. I've, you know, I'm going to be leaving— you don't have to say how much, but I'm leaving something to everybody. I really, I really don't want there to be any fights. I want the family to continue on. In my case, because of the problems we went through, the 3 of us haven't spent the holidays together since my parents passed away. You know, my father passed away in 2012. So you want to have those conversations with the family so that there's no misunderstanding. Yes, there's probably going to be people, there's going to be people that aren't going to be happy, but that's not your problem. It might affect the family going forward, but hopefully they'll come to respect and understand why you're doing what you're doing. For the good of the family, and you can move on from there. But, you know, do expect some, some pushback as well. And that's probably why a lot of families don't do it, because they want to stay away from the disagreements and the arguments.

Sure. Yeah. So the main point you're making, David, and I, I can see that, it's important to have the will and spell out one's wishes, but equally important, maybe more important, is to have the meeting with the, with the beneficiaries, with the executor, to really explain, not necessarily in detail, but extend the wishes verbally so everybody hears it. And because, as you say, it's subject to a lot of misinterpretation, potential misinterpretation of what was meant by this, or I thought you said whatever. So yeah, spelling that out in a meeting, that's, that's the best advice.

Yeah, good. Because Give you an example. I have a friend of mine, him and his brother don't talk to each other. They haven't talked to over in 10 years and it's all over Royal Dalton, China. The mother left the china to my friend's wife and when she passed away, she mentioned in the will, but she told the daughter that she wanted that. The brother didn't know that, or maybe he did, didn't want to accept it. So when they're clearing out the mother's house, He said to the brother, you know, I'd really like that china to give it to my daughter. My friend said, you know, go talk to my wife and, you know, see what she says. The wife says, you know what, this is what your mom wanted me to have. This is also something I want to keep because it reminds me of her. Brother came back and then cursed out his brother, says, I don't want to talk to that so-and-so wife of yours. And they haven't talked for close to 20 years now over Royal Doulton china.

So, Unfortunate.

Yeah, but it happens every day.

Yeah, and it's avoidable, it's preventable, these disputes. But, um, what happens when there is disagreement, like with your siblings? And this is, this is where the court comes into play and lawyers on both sides. And what happens, does it always end up in court when there's disagreement or dispute over the will?

There's a— there It's not uncommon for it to end up in court, but I suggest you go to mediation first. That's the next step, as I like to say, before you jump off the cliff into the court system. In our case, we went to court 10 times and we were about to go 11th time, and, um, what we decided to do is use a mediator. And, uh, the mediator— we came to a mediated settlement. And because the next day we were going to court for the 11th time, and this This was for all the marbles. This was for everything. And you don't know how it's going to play out in court. And when we say playing, you know, going to court, you know, don't get it confused with a Law Order episode where you're done in 48 minutes. We're talking about going to court, sitting in the hallways, and taking time off from work, spending 2, 3 hours, you know, at a time, taking off from work, going to court, you know, having the court case pushed on to another time. So you're giving up a lot of time, and you're also spending money because the lawyer is not going to show up on your behalf without being paid. So think twice before you think you want to go down that rabbit hole of going to court. Everybody wants to have their day in court, and that was a mistake I had because I thought if I just get in front of the judge and explain how irresponsible, how entitled the other side would— surely they would understand, and, you know, they'll lose. But it doesn't always go that way. And a lot of times you may not even get to speak. It's the lawyers talking on your behalf, which made the whole process for me very uncomfortable, because here we have a judge and two lawyers talking on behalf of my family, and I don't, you know, recognize any of those three people sitting at our Christmas table when we were having dinner.

Yeah. So, yeah. Well, well, Okay. Yeah. So there's always room for disagreement. There's always room.

Joe, you look like you, you, you're uncomfortable. You, it's like you're shaking your head.

You, it's, no, I'm, I'm just trying to, um, you know, trying to understand what happens when they're, I mean, given the fact that you need a will, but there are cases where there is no will, like you said, 40% have a will and 60% do not. What happens when it's intestate?

Well, then you just ask the government to make your decisions on your behalf. And if you're comfortable with that, that's fine. But then again, it may not go the way you want it to go because now the government is in charge, especially if you've got young kids. I, you know, I have a friend I talk about in the book. They, um, they've got their will done because they remember back as a child that in the parking lot of the funeral home when their father their last surviving parent passed away, the fate of her and her brother were decided in the parking lot of the funeral home. One aunt took her and the other aunt took her brother. And even though they, you know, she's a successful business person today, she remembers how hard it was because Every time, um, her aunt needed extra money for school supplies or, um, school outings or special courses that she wanted because she was a ballet dancer, she remembers her aunt would always have to go to court to petition the court so that the court would release some more money for, for her.

Mhm.

If you, if you die intestate, which means you die without a will, you're now leaving the decisions to in this case of your children, in the hands of the government.

So yeah, yeah, and it's not likely to go the way you want it to go.

Exactly.

Sure, sure. So don't estate planners just deal with large estates? I mean, are we talking about individuals with small estates requiring some estate planners too?

Um, size is not going to matter because You know, there's very options. You could go to an estate planner. You're probably going to get a lot of— ask you a lot of questions you may not have thought of. Yes, it might cost you a little bit of money, but again, everybody thinks, well, I don't have enough. As long as you've got, you know, you've got some savings, you've got a bank account, maybe you've got a car, you have some assets, you have an estate there. It doesn't have to be a couple of million dollars. So, you know, you could search around and find out what would be the cost to have an estate planner, you know, put together not only a will but also a healthcare directive if something was to happen to you and maybe you're in a coma. You know, we just came through a pandemic. You know, what would have happened if you had COVID in the hospital? Who would be responsible for paying your bills? Who would look after your mortgage payments? How would anything continue if there's no healthcare directives? You know, You know, intensive care is no place to find out that, you know, an individual doesn't have a will. And you can't have a good conversation with somebody when they're on a ventilator. So you need to understand that you do have an estate and there are so many different options. Maybe you go to an estate planner or maybe you look at some of the online solutions where you can at least have a will done, which is recognized by law and have it done that way. But you're still going to follow the steps of having a will. Having an executor, have a conversation with the executor, have a conversation with your family. And that's especially important. We, we see a lot of, uh, blended families. You know, there's a lot, you know, first, first marriages, second marriages, stepkids, all those sort of things. There needs to be a conversation of how you would want, um, your estate to be settled among your blended family. Do you're going to leave a little bit more to your to your maternal kids, or is it your stepkids are going to get just as much, or they're not going to get anything? If you're not leaving them anything, you need to have a conversation with them. There's, you know, even your maternal kids— why are you leaving to them? They're not your root. So again, there needs to be the conversations. They're going to be uncomfortable. I get it, because everything we're talking about here, Joe, none of this is sexy. Nobody wants to talk about it. Of all of the guests you probably will have on this is the least sexiest topic that people are going to want to talk about.

Yeah, easily, uh, easily put off, easily avoided, easily postponed.

Exactly. So, um, when it comes back to, like, you're asking about the estate planner, you know, you might look in to see what the cost might be, uh, even if it's a couple hundred dollars, if it's $1,000, if it's going to save your family, um, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars, $100,000 in legal fees because they're going to contest the will. Just because you spent that $1,000, you're saving hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then go out and, and, um, and spend it. And also give that peace of mind. Or if you can find it on— there's plenty of online solutions where you can do your own will, do it for a couple hundred dollars. You've, you've taken the process. At the end of the day, you, you want to make sure that you're not leaving your family disorganized in chaos. So that you leave them a legacy and not a legacy and a mess.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So the bottom line is don't try to do it yourself. Don't look at it as something that can be done quickly or hastily. You really need to bring in some professional, and it doesn't have to be a high, high-powered, high-priced professional legal firm. It can be just someone that handles small estates or even online, but somebody who knows the professional side of this. That's what you're saying?

Absolutely, because it, it needs to be done. And, you know, come back to what we said before at the top. This is the biggest gift of love that you can give to your family. You're not leaving them all, you know, disorganized and in chaos. And then so you don't end up like my family where we're not just— we're not talking anymore.

Yeah, yeah, that's so unfortunate. I mean, there are enough complications in families that are also fixable. So let's not put this on the list of unfixable ones. That's too bad. Yeah, but I can see, I, I can understand, um, emotions are raw at these difficult times. Loss and hurt and sadness and grief and a whole mixed bag of other feelings. Sure.

Yeah, because people handle grief differently.. So you need to, um, you need to take care of yourself and your own mental health, but also understand that people are not going to be able to— are going to handle the grief differently, and they might become difficult. And now when you throw money, that possible money in there, um, again, there's a sense of entitlement on the side of inheritance, and people will change. People will go into the to the home and start helping themselves to what's in the home. The executor, you have to be cognizant of that, and you're probably gonna have to change the locks on the doors because it's not uncommon that people will go in and start taking out jewelry and help themselves to whatever they want. And they may not even be, may not even be in the will, but people say, well, you know, they said if they died, I could have this ring, or I could have the— none of that. Is, you know, can be taken care of unless the executor says so. So the executor also has to be aware of what's going on. Another important point that we didn't talk about and we should touch on is not only with the will and the estate and the healthcare directives, but also your digital assets. So that's all your logins and all your passwords. You know, with each email address, there's probably about 150 to 160 different places where that email address is associated with. A friend of mine passed away probably about close to a year now, and when it comes to the social media, it was her birthday and it popped up happy birthday. And when I saw that, I know the executor doesn't have the logins and the passwords because each social media company has its own protocol to shut down any social media accounts. So you want to make sure that's taken care of, you know, where are your logins and passwords for your cell phone, the login passwords for your laptop, your iPad, you know, what are you going to do about your Amazon account, your, your online banking, you know, bills that are being paid, you know, monthly, or your gym memberships, all of those things. Who— how are those going to get shut down? What I suggest is, is that along with your, your will, and which I suggest is kept in a bright colored envelope like bright red, bright yellow, so that you, you let the executor know where it is. If something was to happen, you go into my filing cabinet or in this closet, and you're going to find a bright yellow envelope. Inside there, you're going to find the will, healthcare directives, perhaps your pre-planned funeral arrangements, and also all your logins and passwords to make it easier on them. I can tell you, when someone passes away, it's very traumatic, and there's trauma And you can't look for anything when you're traumatized. You don't know where to start. But if you were just to think about, you know what, I had that conversation, they told me it's going to be in a bright red envelope. So all I'm looking for is that bright red envelope. The amount of ease that— because they're already traumatized— the amount of ease that's going to wash over them when they see that bright red envelope. They know that it's the start of getting organized. It's a start of at least helping them guide through all the different minefields that they're going to have to go through.

Yeah, yeah, that's such great advice, David. What you're talking about is taking this as a matter-of-fact responsibility and really removing the emotion as much as we can while we're doing this. I mean, I, I appreciate your comment when we opened up that talking about one's death doesn't mean that it's going to happen any sooner, and it's such an easy subject to put off. It's very difficult to talk about death and dying And talking about it doesn't mean it's going to happen any sooner. So let's take the emotion out of the picture. Let's deal with some of the factual content, the responsibility. A great list here, the pre-planned funeral arrangements, the will, the executor, the healthcare directive, and the digital assets. That's, um, that's pretty much the whole, the whole package. Then once we put that together, it gives everyone peace of mind. I love that.

Yeah, absolutely. Because, and, and think about how you're going to feel when it's all done. I've had people, you know, write me on my website, people I met at book signing, um, they've emailed me later and said that just by going through this process, it's made them feel a lot better, um, and they can, you know, move on with their life. And if something was to happen, there's not going to be, what do we do, uh, we never, I, you know, we never talked about this, they have no idea what to, where to go or stuff like that. A lot of times things, last-minute estate planning is done in a hospital room. I've seen people have their wills being done, you know, while they're on their deathbeds, and that's no place to do any logical thinking about, you know, what you want done with your assets, how you want, uh, how do you want to be left behind. That's why it's important not to leave a legacy in a mess.

Yeah, yeah. Well, tell us about your book. The title, Executor Help. How to Settle an Estate, Pick an Executor, and Avoid Family Fights. I take it this is an accumulation, consolidation of a lot of your experiences, a lot of your advice, your tips, your recommendations. Same message for the readers?

Yes, it is. It's, and it's, um, a lot of stories, stories, my own personal story, stories from clients and friends. And I wrote the book. You can look at it two ways. It's for the individual who's going to be an executor, like an adult child going to be looking after their parents. They need to know what to be aware of and how to bring up the conversation with their parents, you know, ask the questions, are things up to date? And it's also written so that the person who's setting up their estate, don't want to leave a, a mess for their families, that they know what they need to be concerned about. You know, how do I— what am I looking for in an executor? How can I prepare them? How am I going to have the conversation with my family? You know, what, you know, what does my executor need to know in terms of settling the estate? Because this is a pretty big favor I'm asking to do, you know. Um, you know, there's so many questions out there. In the, the last chapter is the 50 Executor Questions That Need to Be Answered. So what I do is research the most top 50 questions that most people ask about being an executor in an estate, and I put that in there in the book. So it's for the— for two, uh, two people. It's person's going to be the executor and know there's going to be the executor, they don't know what to do. And it's for the individual who's setting up their estate and understand that it's important to be organized and make it easier on the family.. And, um, and then you, they can go from there, you know, how, how do I, how do I broach the subject?

Mm-hmm.

How do I, what do I say? And then you go from there and it's, and you know, as again, as executor, how do I broach it to mom and dad? How do I, how do I pick an executor? Does it make sense to have more than one executor?

Hmm. Sounds like a valuable resource, a great resource that everyone should do. Get their hands on and really follow the tips. I think you have a lot of information to share, and I'm glad people can pick up your book, Executor Help: How to Settle an Estate, Pick an Executor, and Avoid Family Fights. It's available on Amazon, I take it?

You can, or just go to my website, davideddy.com. Um, you know, you can download a sample chapter. The book is in, um, digital form. And you also can download a sample audiobook chapter on there. Also, I have free resources, an executor checklist of what you need to know as an executor so that you can, you know, you can ask these questions to the person that you're doing. You're going to be, you know, who's writing the will, or if as a person who's writing their will, they want to prepare their executor, they want to put that this checklist, they can put that with the with their, with their will and their digital asset, their logins and passwords. So you can go on there, there's a quiz on there, what kind of family are you? You can figure out, are you the family that avoids, are you the family that, you know, just does enough and doesn't talk, or are you the family that does talk and you're looking to pass on to the next generation a legacy of wealth?

Well, and these are available on your website?

On my website, and on there you can go to the various online retailers. But I think we were gonna stop a second. I think we're gonna give— you wanted me to do the, uh, sure, $10.99, uh, $10.99. Um, well, I gotta— when is this going to air? Because I gotta make the link.

I can make it for, uh, not for a few weeks.

Yeah, okay. So once you let me know, I can put a timer on it for 2 weeks from the time you're going to launch it. They can get it at, uh, $10.99, the digital, the digital version and the audiobook version. You can download for $10.99.

Okay, when you—

so when you know a date, then I'll, I'll create the link and all that sort of stuff, because I'm going to make a page. If you can send me a logo, I'll make it just a special page called the, uh, Living to 100 Club, um, Executive Help Special or something.

Okay, all right, that's great. That's right, we did talk about that. Okay, so, uh, back online here. Your website is David Eady?

No, David Eady at David Eady, uh, davidady.com.

What's wrong with me? Yeah, E-A-D-E-Y, right?

E-A-D-E-Y.

Yeah, edey.com.

Okay, go back. We're gonna finish.

Uh, no. Um, so closing thoughts, um, what's the takeaway you'd like our listeners to remember from our conversation is that it's time to stop being afraid of talking about death and think about how you want your legacy to be passed on.

Do you want to leave it as a mess? Think about what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. And the only way it's going to start is by having a will, having your healthcare directives, having a conversation with the executor, preparing them, and then have the conversation with your beneficiaries. And it doesn't have to be once. It can be an ongoing process because again, it's not something you can just say once and then move on from there. You know, keep having that conversation ongoing. Let them understand what your morals and values of what you expect of the family, what you hope to go on, pass on to the next generation. There's been statistics that show that 70% of any inheritance doesn't make it to the third generation. So if you've built up wealth or you want to pass on to the, you know, third generation, the fourth generation, have those conversations so it's part of the family fabric of conversations and understanding that the wealth that we have is passing on to the next generation, to the next generation. And it's not uncommon to have a talk about death because spoiler alert, it's all gonna happen, it's gonna happen to all of us.

Yeah, yeah. So it's a living document, so to speak, and there's always a process and evolution.

Absolutely. Anytime that your circumstance— circumstances change, then it's time to update the will. But at least you have that peace of mind knowing that you're not going to leave your family disorganized and in chaos.

Yeah, yeah. Great advice. That's so important because we all have to be willing to take on this conversation, as sensitive as it is, as touchy as it is. We need to be able to have these conversations and avoid the problems after the fact. Yeah. Great. Well, thanks so much, David. Looks like we're out of time. But before we wrap up, I just wanna remind my listeners to visit my website, livingto100.club, sign up for my email list and download a free copy of my 9 Tips to Make Living Longer Enjoyable. You'll also see an option to contact me with your questions and comments. I welcome your feedback. Finally, be sure to subscribe to this podcast series as a premium member so you don't miss any episodes, maybe the episode that could seriously affect your decisions or your outlook. Sign up at livingto100club.supercast.com. No need to put in www, just livingto100club.supercast.com. David, thanks so much for being a guest on our program today, and people can contact you at your website. If they have any questions.

Absolutely, davidee.com. Joe, I really appreciate you taking the time having this conversation with me. Thank you very much.

You're very welcome. You're very welcome. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your recommendations, your insights.

Thank you.

Thanks to all for tuning in. Hope to see you next time.