Joseph Casciani tells people who lost a spouse to treat their life as chapters and consciously rewrite the next one. He compares it to an actor choosing a new role: you can author who you become after grief. Attitude and adaptability, he says, shape both healing and how long you live.
Chapters
Let's redefine ourself as someone who took an unexpected sharp turn and is staying positive in the face of such a loss. Sometimes it's helpful to look back at our lives and see a series of chapters unfolding. These are a succession of events or milestones that mark our journey, like graduation, marriage, birth of children, promotions, retirement, death of a spouse, and on and on. These milestones serve as chapters in our life story. With each new milestone, we look at starting a new chapter, whether intended or not, whether pleasant or not, and whether liberating or not. Maybe divorce, or giving up the car keys, or the death, death of a spouse. How to go on after losing a spouse? It's too painful. It's too lonely. And it's too dark facing the future alone. Yes, we have to grieve and mourn the loss, but eventually we decide to start a new chapter as a widow or a widower. So here's another tip: let's redefine ourselves as someone who took an unexpected sharp turn and is staying positive in the face of such a loss. It's time to write a new part for ourselves We are writing the script. We're taking on a new role like an actor in the movies. Can we write a new script for ourself when one chapter is over? Beginning a new act, creating whatever type of character we want to play. It's your script. So living longer is about attitude, adapting, and staying positive even when things get in the way.
