Happy Talks: Building Connections and Fighting Isolation with Christian Ross

Welcome to the Living to 100 Club Podcast. Here's our host, Dr. Joseph Casciani.

Well, hello to all of our listeners joining us today on our podcast. You're listening to one of our Successful Aging episodes this month on the Living to 100 Club program, and I'm your host, Joe Casciani. On each program, our conversations educate and inspire, helping you get the best out of all the years we're given, regardless of what obstacles come our way. You can learn more about my club at my website. Be sure to take a look at my new training and activities manual, Better, Longer, and Happier: A Guide to Aging with Purpose and Positivity. It's a series of 12 modules in a card deck format developed for activities directors at senior living communities and organizations. Visit my website, livingto100.club. Forward slash BLH. Now on to our program. In this episode of the Living to 100 Club Podcast, I sit down with Christian Ross, Chief Happiness Officer at HappyTalks, to explore innovative ways to combat social isolation and loneliness among older adults. We discuss the critical role of social engagement and the unique training of the buddies of Happy Talks. This discussion provides listeners with insights into the innovative ways professionals are working together to enhance the lives of older adults, offering practical takeaways for families, caregivers, and those interested in the aging process. First, a little background. Christian Ross is the founder and chief happiness officer at Happy Talks. With over 15 years of experience working with hundreds of families in real estate, Christian noticed a growing need for families to better support the older adults in their lives. Driven by a passion for enhancing connections, she created HappyTalks, a social phone call membership service for older adults that provides joyful, meaningful conversations while offering families and care providers peace of mind through transparent post-call reporting. HappyTalks is honored to deliver happiness and strengthen bonds across generations. Christian, welcome to our program.

Thank you so much for having me.

Oh, you're very welcome. You're very welcome. I'm looking forward to our conversation. You have some important messages to share with our listeners. I always like to open by asking our guests to tell us a little bit about the journey that brought you to where you are today, maybe the highlights that kind of directed you toward Happy Talks.

Yeah, well, uh, thank you again for having me. It's, it's interesting because being in real estate for so long, you have a front row seat to one of the most, uh, stressful situations in someone's life.

Sure.

And when you add on if there was a death in the family or if someone possibly took a fall and there's been a health issue with that, it just compounds the stress in that situation. So, um, not only was I a broker helping my clients, but I also was a managing broker, um, so I oversaw over 150 agents, over a billion dollars in contracts. And with that really saw not just my own clients' situations but the agents that I worked with, their situations as well. So, um, for me, seeing that and then having an aunt who has MS, who I've seen her battle of just like, if you would have told me at 40 that this would be where I would be in life and not being able to just have PT and OT and all the different therapies and, um, visits that she could have had during COVID those were somewhat stifled. That was something that really was a turning point for me. I just really saw that we need a solution, and I could bring that because I've been in connection all my career and really my life. I've always connected. So I was like, I can do this. I just need to have the the technical guidance, and that led me to Atlanta Tech— back to Atlanta Tech Village, where I actually was in a pre-accelerator, and it helped me through all of the small details that go into making a business and making it something that sticks and stays.

Sure. And what was the— what was the organization that helped? Tech—

um, Atlanta Tech Village.

Atlanta Tech Village. Okay.

Yes.

Yeah, I know the incubators are indispensable for many startups. Yes, sure. So what is Happy Talks? Tell us, tell us about it.

Yeah, so we provide social phone call memberships for older adults. Our whole goal is to take a little bit of stress off the families, to deliver joy to older adults so that they get a chance to feel seen, feel heard, talk about everything they want to talk about, talk about the stories that maybe the family is like, oh my gosh, I've heard that story. 300 times, we're here to hear the next 300.

So if you like to tell them, yeah, exactly.

So we're here to listen and we're here to also, I always say, even though we're here to connect, we're also here, we take another, I would say, positioning of protecting, you know, spam and fraud is so prevalent. And now with the advances of AI, it's just They can do everything faster, the fraudsters faster, and they can do the online cloning. I mean, excuse me, the voice cloning. So our goal is not only to connect but to also see ways that we can help protect and help families have those conversations as well.

Wow. Wow. And you have buddies who make the calls. Tell us about the buddies. What's their role? How do they get trained?

So our buddies are, um, I would say they are an elevated gig worker. They, they are not employees, but they are properly vetted. They are background checked. We have a proprietary assessment that we give to them, which the designer of our assessment said, Christian, people won't have your numbers, don't be mad. So I guess I'm an extreme extrovert, but, but we have that proprietary— excuse me— assessment. And then our chief nursing officer handles our training. So she actually helps create create our training, and she helps facilitate the training. So where I may be on the connection side, she's bringing in the, hey, if you hear this, be mindful, make a note so that we can tell the family. So our goal also is helping to find resources, because sometimes people will share things with people they don't even know that they won't share with their family.

Sure, sure. So how often are the calls made? How does it— what does it look like?

So the calls are usually— so we have 3 memberships, and that's 1 call per week, 2 calls per week, or 3 calls per week. So 4, 8, or 12 calls per month. And then we do have some custom plans, um, that we can create for families. Like, we have one right now, um, they are on a daily plan, so their loved one gets a daily phone call. And we're not asking about medication, we're not asking, um, anything health-wise. These are truly social phone calls of talking about all the things that people want to talk about, whether that's weather, phone calls, their past travels. Um, we run the gamut in our conversations.

Wow. Okay, so once a week, twice a week, 3 times a week, or even daily as another level. So what are, what are some of the challenges that you've encountered when you're trying to engage with older adults? I mean, what comes up that kind of throws you off the usual routine call?

I would say the challenges which we've trained our buddies on is really when someone, when one of our buddies may feel uncomfortable with the conversation. And it's not so much that someone has said something that's insulting or offensive. It's just a conversation they may not be comfortable with. Like maybe it's a story on the news and they just don't want to talk about that specific story. So we've trained our buddies to have conversation scoops. That's what we try to— that's what we call them. So with it, it's like, hey, maybe it was the fact that this happened in a particular neighborhood, whatever the situation was. Then that buddy can scoop that part of the conversation out and say, hey, what is it about this neighborhood that's so important to you? Something to help push the conversation along to a different direction so that both parties are comfortable. I would say that's our biggest, um, because there's no filter a lot of times. So that's our biggest— yeah.

So if it steers on to a topic that the buddy is maybe uncomfortable with, they're trained to redirect to something else that's just as relevant and maybe not as objectionable or not as, uh, distressing. Yeah. Yes, it makes sense. Sure. Okay. Any other types of examples where they have to kind of scratch their heads and say, why am I doing this?

Well, I'm glad. It's funny because it's like, I'm glad and I'm not glad because I'm like, I feel like we need to be tested some more. And I know we will be.

Okay.

But I think the other thing is, actually, this is a big one, is that a lot of older adults that we talk to tend to share very personal information about their family.

Sure.

So with that, it's the safeguards that we're putting in place. That's a continuous process to make sure that, you know, if we hear the word money or home or whatever, that we are listening to those phone calls. So I think that's the biggest thing because someone will say like, oh, my daughter just got a raise. Now she's making $250,000. And it's like, you know, I hear the call and I'm like, oh, I'm cringing. But, but it's the fact that they just want to share. So That's the other thing too about who we are hiring. I feel like, A, they have to have a servant's heart, and two, they are constantly being vetted, tested, and we're also continuously training so that if that does come up in a conversation, that yes, we'll find it, but notify us and say, hey, FYI, they mentioned their daughter's salary in this particular conversation.

So at the beginning, when you start out the relationship, are there Are there topics that are off-limits or any guardrails that you set up to kind of avoid getting into really, really difficult topics?

We do. So we have a Delivering Joy form. And so after our members sign up, they fill out this form. And a lot of times in the form, they will upload pictures of their loved ones. We see the best pictures. They'll, they'll upload— if it's an individual who signed up for themselves, sometimes they will upload documents that they've sent to their local political figures. Like, it runs the gamut. But I would say— I'm sorry, you asked me, it was right there.

Yeah. Any topics? You mentioned the Delivering Joy form.

So in that form, we asked the family specifically, are there any topics that you do not want us to discuss?

Okay. Okay.

And so that's what is in our platform so that our buddies can see that. And so maybe the holidays are very difficult and they don't want us to mention the holidays or don't want us to say the word Christmas. We are mindful of that.

Yeah, that's good. I mean, they're not trained mental health professionals, so it's good to structure it right at the outset so it doesn't steer into, you know, conflicts or, you know, abandonment or any, any, you know, really sensitive topics. Yes. Yeah. But I'm guessing, you know, as a mental health professional, from my vantage point, I could see where somebody might talk about, gee, I'm feeling really down today, I'm feeling really alone, or, you know, kind of disconnected. And it may lead off into some expression of depression. What do you do then? Yeah.

So we, A, make a note of it, make sure to tell the family if we hear any words that are in that particular vein. Then for us, we're really trying to say, well, what made you happy today? Again, we're trying to redirect that conversation. What made you happy today? What brought you joy? What did you— we know you like looking out the window in your kitchen. What did you see today? So we're trying to discover these ways for them to see, like, what was good about today? Let's extract that and expand on that some more. And what did it actually touch in your soul today that made you say, like, Yeah, this did make me happy.

Yeah, well, uh, kudos to you. I, I commend you for that because it's so easy to talk about what's wrong, what's missing, what bad things have happened. And it's, you know, it's, it's pretty smart to redirect it, say, all right, what's still good? What are some of the positives? Yeah, there are some negatives. What are some of the positives? Let's not dwell on what's wrong. So that's good. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. So you mentioned the family. How does the family get feedback or how do you involve the family members?

Yeah. So when the families sign up, we ask who will be getting notice after each call so that that way they know that their loved one socialized. And then after each call, they get a text that tells them very high-level notes. So we may not go into specifically like you know, they talked about a specific car that we may just say instead of a Honda, I'm going to say, hey, we talked about cars today and we talked about this. And mom was in a great mood and she was laughing, telling me the story about you tripping over the pumpkin patch when you were 5. So we really keep it high level for the privacy of that person who we're talking to. But also too, we want to give a glimpse to the family of what we talked about because we hope that it's another connection point for them in a conversation so that they can say, Yeah. So you talked to your buddy, you told them that story about the pumpkin patch, huh? Just couldn't leave that alone.

Yeah. Okay.

So, so they get the text afterwards and then all of our notes are housed in our platform. So anytime they want to go and just re-read notes, they can go through their text messages or they can go directly into the platform and see everything on a larger screen.

Well, so you get feedback after every call.

After every call.

Oh, good. So are there some examples of where kind of giving that feedback to families really kind of enhanced the relationship or changed it in any way?

Yeah, so there's one in particular I think of that, um, where she just said, you know, working with my— talking to my dad, I can see, uh, just how, how, uh, happy he is. And, and so she was mentioning that, and she was saying, you're adding so much more to his life. And I think when a lot of people think of people in their late 80s and their 90s and beyond, they forget that it can easily become a lonely club, that you're, you're one of a few friends left, or maybe you're the only person left. So, um, for her to say that and then her to, to share that they have conversations about what the buddy and him talked about always just makes us— hate to use the word happy again, but it does make us happy because we know we're having an impact. And we also know that they're able to have— the adult child and the parent are able to have just a different conversation.

Yeah, so you really enhance— you You help to, um, kind of make that connection richer, more, more alive.

Yeah, that is our goal.

Are there instances where calls are made to an individual and there's a family member still living in the home, maybe a spouse?

Yeah, we actually, um, we have a few members, usually their family members sitting right next to them, um, and, uh, We get it all.

That's great. I love that. Yeah.

But it's wonderful because if they're trying to think of something, they'll say, they'll look, you can hear them look over, you hear, you feel the whole thing, then look over. They're like, what's that actor? It happened the other night. He said, he said, what's that actor that was married to Elizabeth Taylor? And, and they were saying who the actor was. And it was funny because of course, we heard it, but then he came onto the phone and repeated it. So I found out who the actor was.

Was good. Sure, they say, hold on a second, and then they go, exactly, there you go. All right, I'm back. Wow, that's great, that's great. Yeah, I can see that. I mean, you know, the spouse may be there 24 hours but may not want to have that level of conversation on a regular basis. So you have You know, your buddies call in and they can offer different kind of challenge and stimulation and kind of engagement. That makes sense.

And hopefully give the caregiver a little break too, that they can take 15, 20 minutes and just have that time to theirself, maybe decompress, maybe go for a walk and come back. You know, just our goal is to really have familial impact, not just that individual.

Yeah, that's great. I love that. You mentioned the different plans you have. Can you review them again? And what causes one plan over another, or when is one plan more, more appropriate than another?

Yeah, so we have— we're actually in the process of naming them. The top plan will definitely be called the Social Butterfly. That's, that's a non-negotiable. So our entry plan is one call per week, so 4 calls per month at $49 a month. So they get one call per week. They get happy mail every month. So in the mail, a handwritten note comes in to the family member and just shares something from that conversation. But again, just reinforces the fact that we really enjoyed talking to you this month. And then every quarter they get a happy box and it's filled with things based on either travels they talked about, things in their life, their favorite foods. We put things in there and it's another note in there as well. And so the box and the mails include included with every plan. And then the second plan is the, um, 8 calls per month, 2 calls per week, and that's $99 a month. And then our third one is $149 per month at 3 calls per week, 12 calls per month.

Wow. Okay, so once a week, twice a week, or 3 times a week. And no matter which plan, they get a happy mail— is it a card or a letter?

It's a card. They get a happy mail and a happy box. And I was trying to find one to show you now. I felt like last time I was talking to you, I was looking for the same thing.

Okay, okay. But a card, and a handwritten card, or computer?

Handwritten card.

Cool, cool. And so every level, um, people get those, and then happy box every quarter. That's really smart. I mean, that's really great. I love that. Yeah. How about people that can't afford these plans? I mean, they're so important and really essential, I can see, for so many people, but maybe they can't afford it. Do you have any other options?

That's actually what we're working on right now. So we have, um, we're working on grants to be able to actually help those who may not be able to afford, or maybe they're in a rural community and they just don't, um, have particular access to like to the internet. So because we are on the phone, so there's no apps to download, whatever phone you have, we meet you where you are and we call from the same number. So security-wise, we take security very seriously. Our buddies never see the last names of the one who they're talking with, and they also, um, never see the phone number. That's all just within our system, and it's not accessible by our buddies.

Okay, so the buddies don't know the last names of their colleagues, clients? No. They don't know their phone number either? It's all automated?

Correct.

All right, that, that affords a lot of privacy and security. Yeah. Okay. So, we know there are other programs out there and, you know, whether other services, I mean, people connect with different agencies for calls and support and interaction. How do you integrate or how do you kind of overlap with some of these? And do you replace going out of their home for a trip to the senior center or what do you How do you integrate with whatever else is going on?

So we really view ourselves as a supplement of care, that we are one of those things in your toolbox that, you know, please take your mother to the senior center, take her to different activities, have your caregivers, your external caregivers who are coming in, but definitely see us as a supplement of your care, that we can just help with that socialization. We feel like we are in the social wellness realm of, uh, but is directly related to health. And it's interesting, I saw something, a video the other day, it was yesterday, and it's a doctor who is, um, he's going through med school, right? So he's going through med school, he's a medical school student, and he said We are at a point between social needs and healthcare needs that the two need to come together so that we can improve the health of everyone. And we love our phones, but the reality is, is that they've, they've caused a lot of additional stress in our lives. You know, the fact that it's like, answer that email, answer that text, go pick up your child from soccer, do this, wait a minute, the HOA meeting. So we understand there are so many things, especially in the sandwich generation that's responsible for the care of their children and responsible for the care of their older loved ones. And so our whole goal is just to take a little bit of that stress off that, you know, that your loved ones are talking to someone and it is a trusted resource. I had a friend the other day who— we were at a baseball game, Braves baseball game, and she said, I'm going to have my mom at your webinar. She said, because I was on the phone with her, my sister's there, she's talking to some guy on the phone about selling her timeshare. And I'm telling— I'm texting my sister, just unplug the phone because she, she wouldn't get off the phone. Her sister kept saying, get off the phone, get off the phone, like we'll find someone. And she wouldn't do it. And so finally they just unplugged the phone. And it's unfortunate, but sometimes you have to do that with loved ones and with these scammers. Just to think that there was $3 billion of fraud Um, from the FBI report in 2022, like, we have to do more, especially with the proliferation of AI, and that it's only getting stronger, bigger, and faster every day.

Yeah. Wow. Okay, so a few thoughts here. When you talk about being the supplement of care, you're not looking to replace anything, which is the best part of what you're doing. You're really complementing whatever else the individual might be involved in. Do you, um, do you ever, um, kind of question about fraudulent calls or scam calls? Or how do you, how do you tap into that? How do you know the person might be getting pulled into some scam? Do you ask directly, or—

That's— So we haven't had a case of it For us, and it's interesting because my mother is an auditor, and as a child, I would be at the credit union with my mom, and she would tell these tellers, make sure if someone comes with Western Union, ask questions, ask questions. My mom made pop-up banners for all the tellers. So when she would— I would see her after a long day at work some days after she learned someone was scammed through Western Union. My mother would be at home crying. She's I've done everything I can do to help these tellers stop and ask questions. Why aren't they doing it? Um, so for us, we— it's more listening to what they may be saying, like, oh, I met this new friend who calls me. It's really listening for those things. Um, and two, just, just saying, hey, just want to let you know, have you talked to your family about having a safe word? Because Right now, this is what's going on, and there's so many people getting scammed. They're used— they're taking voices and they're calling people's loved ones and asking for money and acting like they're in foreign countries or that they're in some type of, um, situation. Like, we just want you to be aware that that's out there. And so we try to give tips during calls but definitely not be overbearing because this is all about them, and we want them to just always know that they can talk to us.

Yeah, yeah. You're not there to be a detective or try to uncover, um, who's at risk. But I can see that sometimes, um, they might make a comment, it might slip out, and I'm thinking that may not be an accident. It may be intentional that they just dropped that word about, I got an interesting call, and that may be their desire to maybe talk about it, maybe have a sounding board. Sure, that makes sense.

Yeah, definitely. And that's actually one part of our training that we're going deeper on now is because it's just, it's so rampant. And, uh, I actually, I saw this movie.

I'm—

I won't say it, but, uh, it's, uh, it was a good movie. I didn't realize at the beginning that it was a woman who was older who was scammed. And so if you know the actor Jason Statham, he goes after everybody in his—

yes, I saw the movie. Yeah, yeah.

But I was like, I said, I wouldn't take it that far, but that's how I feel when I hear about these scammers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, definitely, um, there's a lot of risk out there. And as you say, the, um, the phones and having that technology in our hands, we can connect with the world. So it's, you know, it's kind of the double-edged sword. It's got a lot of positives, but it's got some risks also. Yeah.

And then even our information, like, we don't have a privacy act like Europe to help protect our information. And that's the one thing that I really hope that Argentum and just all these associations really start lobbying for, because it's too easy to find everyone's information and to find their mortgage amount, uh, possibly who they bank with. It's, it's just too easy. It's too easy for people to recount details. If you can look up— you can take someone's phone number and see all of their addresses or whatever, like, you've just gotten half the safety, you know, guardrails.

Yeah, yeah. And we're concerned about that, of course. And the fact is, all that information is already out there. It's not like we can take steps to prevent it.

It's—

yeah, it's happened. Yeah. Well, I think you've got a great service, you got a great program. I think you, you're really touching on some really important points that could really raise your outfit above the average level, because I— you know, as you talk about so many of these features and what you emphasize, I think it's really good. I said that earlier on when we spoke, last month. I, I think you're touching on some really important points. Do you, um, do you see any, any kind of collaboration? I, you know, I, I wrote this question down between, um, Happy Talks and Living to 100 Club down the road.

I mean, I would love to because I— because we know when you're connected, it equals better health. And it's funny because I, I think I, I did show you, um, how my husband is determined to live to 115. And I just thought that was— and now I'm like, I get what you were saying. I understand your mindset behind it of why not? There's so many people across the world who are doing it. You get to see more, explore more, live more, give more. So I definitely subscribe to that mindset and would love to see us work together in the future.

Terrific. Yeah, we got to take advantage of this longevity bonus. Yes, we have more years now, we're healthier, so how can we be productive and still, um, you know, feel fulfilled in our days? Yeah. So how can, how can listeners get involved? And would you say, um, anything we can do to help reduce loneliness and What can our listeners do?

I think, you know, if you see someone even at the grocery store and you see them and they're— maybe they're moving a little slower, or they just— maybe they look a little down, say hello, compliment something on them, their sweater, their hairstyle. Um, compliment them. People instantly get a smile when you notice something about them. So I I would ask that everyone just take a moment to, in this busy world, just to pause a little bit as you're going about your day and look at who could benefit from your energy that you have.

Yeah, good advice. That's good advice. Yeah. So how can our listeners learn more about Happy Talks? Where can they go?

Well, you can visit us at happytalks.com, and, uh, we are there, and we also have a 24/7 chat. So if you're up at 3 AM and you're like, let me leave a message for Happy Talks, feel free. Someone will be there to answer that call and take a message.

A live person taking it?

Yes.

Oh, wow.

Yes, we love our humans.

No chatbots for you.

No chatbots. So it'd be a live person. You can visit, and we're also on social at Our Happy Talks. So O-U-R Happy Talks. And we are on, uh, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Okay, happytalks.com. And there's a— how would they access the, uh, the 24-hour call?

Oh, they can— so they can either chat on our website or they can call us at 470-68-HAPPY, and that's 470 470-684-2779.

470-684-2779. Got it. Well, that's great. Well, again, cold stars to you for doing such a good job with this.

Thanks for— thank you so much.

Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for being on our program. But looks like we're out of time for today. Christian, before we wrap up, I just want to remind my listeners to visit my website, livingto100.club, sign up for my email list, and download a free copy of my 9 tips to make living longer enjoyable. And if you're affiliated with a senior living setting, be sure to look for my new training and activity guide, Better, Longer, and Happier. Christian Ross, thanks so much for being a guest on our program today. I'm sure our listeners get a lot out of it. And, uh, keep up the good work.

Thank you. Stay happy.

Okay, we will. Thank you. And thanks to all of our listeners for tuning in. Hope to see you next time.