How Language and Words Affect How Well We Age

Welcome to the Living to 100 Club Podcast. Here's our host, Dr. Joseph Casciani. Good day to everyone. I'm Joe Casciani, your host for the Living to 100 Club Podcast. Our conversations are all about aging well, and doing what it takes mentally and physically to live longer and healthier. Our guests share insights and recommendations about successful aging, stories of perseverance, and inspiration about our future. Our club is excited to invite as its guest for today's podcast, Eileen Greene. At 93, Eileen is engaged as a life coach, hypnotherapist, and psychotherapist. Eileen is an empowered and fearless woman who strongly believes we can achieve our goals and dreams at any age. Eileen will share her emphasis on the importance of the words we say to ourselves and how these words can profoundly affect us, either in a positive or negative way. Does negative self-talk influence our wellness? We'll hear more about that. And Eileen will describe for us her healing approaches to certain physical complaints such as pain and headaches. And for those who think they're too old to change, Eileen has words of wisdom we'll all want to hear. First, just a little background. Eileen is an active life coach using hypnotherapy and psychotherapeutic methods to help her clients. After raising her 3 sons, she went on an unrelenting campaign to educate herself and experience life to the fullest. She became one of the first people to be certified in Neurolinguistic Programming by Tony Robbins. She's a TED Talk lecturer, a certified hypnotherapist, and she completed a master's degree in spiritual psychology as well as a 2-year program in volunteer work from the University of Judaism. Eileen, I'm very happy to have you with us today. Thank you for being a guest and welcome.

And I'm very happy to be your guest.

Great, great.

I I've had the pleasure of speaking with you, and you do share words of wisdom.

Ah, well, I—

my goal.

Yeah, I think we have a lot of good, good words to share, so I'm looking forward to this. I always like to open by asking our guests to just tell us briefly about the journey that got you to where you are today. I know you've got a lot of years under your belt, but maybe the highlights to share with our listeners how you got to where you are today.

Well, being 93, I was born, uh, 3 months before the Depression started in 1929. And I fortunately have a visual memory, so I do go way, way back to the time that I had my polio to the time that I was a Black— it was black and white. It was good or bad. It was right or wrong. I mean, you were good girls or you were bad girls. So I married young in order to be a good girl, which meant that I had not had any previous intercourse. Which today is a totally different world. But what I didn't care for about myself was my judgment.

Hmm.

And the judging myself, judging others. So I decided to go on a journey of education.

Hmm.

And it took me 25 years to get my college degree because I raised 3 children along with a wonderful husband. And I was eager to move forward. I have 3 sons, 6 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren, and 2 more on the way. Wow. So that's pretty terrific, and I feel very, very blessed. So after the time I spent getting my degree, I decided to have a lot of certifications. And one of the most interesting certifications was hypnotherapy. And I was given the ability to bring back initial sensitizing experiences, which can be conscious or subconscious. And I will talk about one incident that just blew my mind early on in my hypnotherapy sessions when people came to my home. I had this lovely, lovely young woman who I was able to bring back to an initial sensitizing experience that I could not find out where she was. So my questions, of course, were What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? And all I kept hearing from her was, "It's very dark. I don't see anything. Very dark. But I do hear my mother and father arguing, and my father is very mean." Okay. After the session, I dashed to the library because it was during the days where there was no Google. No Chrome, no this, no that.

No internet, yeah.

And the library did acknowledge my thought. She was in the womb. Blew my mind.

Wow.

But now we know that mothers are told to sing to the children in their womb, to put their hands on their bellies and send love. Send music, send happy thoughts.

Sure.

That did not exist when I raised my 3 children. In fact, my husband was never allowed to see any of the births. So that was quite an education about a subconscious experience.

Sure, sure.

And it enlightened me on the ability to Rewrite the initial sensitizing experience.

Mm-hmm.

And that has been a wonderful thing for me to be able to do.

And that's an approach that you use with your clients?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

Among others that I have learned along the way. So when I have a client, I initially interview them. About various things, and I set them up with homework. I move them into places where I can judge whether it's an experience that they're being able to recall or one that is hidden. Now, there are certain people that I find almost impossible to help. And those are people that are victims. Victims are people that never want to take responsibility for themselves. It's always somebody else's fault. With that condition, they don't want to be helped. So one of the things that are most important to me is when I find that people do want to be helped. And they're eager. So I begin with breathing, which is so important. You need to center yourself. You need to be able to focus. So you breathe into your stomach and you breathe out slowly, and you do that several times until you are centered. Then I find it necessary in the morning to wake up and give gratitude for what I had and what I still have, and to go into forgiveness for myself and others, to go into acceptance of myself and others. I'm human, and I do find the need sometimes to gripe.

Sure, sure, of course.

So I will then say, What am I going to do about it? So I continue giving gratitude, as I said, to myself, to others, to give forgiveness, to give acceptance, and particularly to myself, and to set intention. Intentions are wonderful.

And goals, of course. Yes.

And so when I set the intention to move forward. It is a very meaningful thing because I have found that negativity is poison to the body. Certain words that you say will come in what you don't want. In other words, I don't want to be sick. You're usually sick. I don't want to be whatever it is that you're thinking of, that you don't—

I don't want to be angry.

Yeah, whatever it is, then you will be sick, you will be angry, you will be putting negative poison into your body. Yeah, brain is the computer.

I'd like to discuss that a little bit more. Let me ask you, are you still seeing patients or clients? Do you still have a practice?

On Zoom.

On Zoom. Okay.

Online.

Okay. I am.

I am. That's my secret. You see, I am. My homework is I am. Take a piece of paper, put a heart in the center. In the center of the heart, put I am. Take tangents off of it. And all of the things that you say, I don't want to be sick. You are. I am well. I am happy. I am growing by learning how to talk to myself in positive terms. So what each person, each client I have has different I ams. Trying can very often lead to failure. Many things that you say, I will, I can't, but they're, they're negative.

Mm-hmm. Sure.

They're not in a positive, direct manner.

So it sounds a little like affirmations when we describe where we want to be.

Yes.

I want to be successful. I want to be sociable. And these are almost like gaps between where we are now and where we want to be.

Yeah.

So I like that you put it in a positive framework, and that gives us something to reach for. I like that.

Yes, because if you want to, you're allowing for failure. If you want to be positive, you need to use positive words. I am.

You are, right?

I am enjoying my life. I am in gratitude. Everyone has a different list, and that list can change from time to time.

Sure.

Well, that's the beauty of being alive, right? I mean, we can— we're all different, and we all have different pieces that we connect to in our world. Yeah.

Asking for positivity.

Yeah.

Not wishes, not want to be. I am. I am 93. And yes, I have an enormous amount of physical challenges. As long as I have my brain, I am able to work around them.

Yes. I am strong. I am determined.

I am stubborn.

Yeah. Well, that's a good one.

And hopefully, not hopefully, I am in the right direction.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every itis, otis, ia in the book, right? You don't know what I'm talking about, Joe.

Yeah, I know.

If you do, you know that the diabetes and the IBS, the whatever. I mean, I've got them, I've got them. You know what? But they don't have me in full cycle. The diabetes is a huge challenge. Every day I accept it and work with it.

Sure, sure.

And do my I Am.

And yeah, now you gave a TED Talk. I like the title of this. It was titled It's Never Too Late Until It's Too Late.

Until it is.

What's the message for the audience? It's never too late until it is.

Until it is. There are many shoulda, coulda, wouldas that we live with. And the whole thing is, if you wait until somebody passes away, you missed the opportunity to ask questions that you would like to have answered. That is gone.

True.

So my message to everyone is, look at your list of shoulda, coulda, wouldas.

Yeah.

And at least pick one at a time and follow through.

Go after it. Yeah.

It is such a good feeling to know that you are doing and chipping away at the woulda, shoulda, couldas.

Right. Otherwise that, that becomes a burden, right? Regrets.

It becomes, and very often it can be, be an initial sensitizing experience. Mm-hmm. That is either conscious or subconscious. So I continually urge, chip away at the woulda, shoulda, couldas. It's never too late until it is.

Yeah, yeah.

When I got my Master's at the age of 75, I thought I was too old when my son was urging me to take the course. I said, I'm going to be 75. And he very wisely said, "And you're going to be 75 whether you take it or not." That's right.

Yeah.

So I took it.

Yeah.

And 2 years later, I felt so proud of myself. Now I'm saying, "Oh well, I probably should have gotten my doctorate." But that was a shoulda, coulda, woulda.

Well.

I may have to accept not doing, right?

Yeah. I mean, that's, that's the reality. We cannot always get to everything on our list, right? I mean, that there is a certain joy that comes with accepting that we cannot go after everything that we once wanted.

So I urge people to chip away.

Sure.

Take one.

Sure.

Do it.

Sure.

The gratification is enormous. Yeah.

The confidence and the, uh, it builds that kind of, not just the momentum, but we feel so much more effective, what I call self-efficacy. Gee, I was determined, I went after this and I accomplished it. Boom. It's done.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

It's okay to pat yourself on the back.

Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. I like your son's comment though. Um, you know, if you, uh, don't go to school in 2 years, how old will you be? If you go to school in 2 years, you're going to be the same age. So, right, it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Yeah, but it matters to your conscious and subconscious. You are moving forward.

Yeah.

So I've chosen to help people so that perhaps I can prevent some of them from delaying beyond the capability point.

Yeah, there's an Italian writer who said the real affliction of old age is remorse.

The shadow could have worked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's a great point that you're making. Chip away at those items and lighten the load a little bit, right? Yeah.

And acknowledge yourself.

Yeah.

And there's one thing that is at the top of the list.

Yeah.

That's love.

Love.

Love yourself.

Love others.

I'm wondering about, you, you mentioned the importance of words, things that we say to ourself. How does the, how does this self-talk affect how we age? You know, I, I speak with a lot of older adults and I was in a group discussion this morning and one woman said, I'm 96 years old. What do I have to look forward to? So, you know, we had a good discussion about that, but how do words, how do these words in our head affect how well we age? What's your thinking?

Well, my thinking is very simple. The computer is the brain and the messages go into the body. So your body reacts to your messages, and when the messages are positive, you're moving forward. So if you're 96, okay, that has 3 more years that I have to do the work that I'm doing.

Yeah, yeah.

That is hopefully, and I say that because it's not my decision, But the people that I am helping will have a different view of life that finds that they are necessary, that they have things to do, that they are able to share and be able to be models, role models.

Sure, sure. Yeah, I like that analogy. The brain is the computer and sends the messages to the body and the body's going to respond one way or another. So that can contribute to headaches.

And, uh, well, I've gotten rid of headaches, but I don't get rid of doctors.

You got rid of headaches, but you don't get rid of what?

Doctors.

Doctors.

I have a lot of doctors.

Okay.

Yes. And the fact that I can talk with them, yeah, has been extremely helpful. I take more tests than anybody, but I paid up. I mean, I've been contributing to Social Security for a long, long time, so I feel entitled to take advantage.

Of course. Sure.

And I do. I am continually researching. I am continually aware of my physical symptoms. I am in the hands of some wonderful medical people. But what also, I am so blessed because I do have home health. I do have people coming to my home to assist me in many ways because yes, my capabilities are not quite what they used to be. I do have a tremor, so certain things are a little difficult, but they're not impossible. They're just a little difficult.

Yeah.

And you also have a lot of strengths.

Yes. Yes. I am determined to not be a burden to my children.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I have fabulous family. I have fabulous friends younger than me. They put up with me.

Sure.

But yes, I do sometimes wake up and think, oh my God. And then I say, yes, God, thank you for letting me get away with some stupid things I've done.

Sure, sure.

Yeah.

I'm still driving locally, carefully.

Okay.

But I don't, if I don't, have to. I have a very sick dog, 16 years old, who has heart failure.

Oh no.

I do need help with her cuz I can no longer pick her up. Yeah.

Yeah.

So acceptance is a very, very important part of life.

Yeah. And when we have to, uh, ask for help, that's perfectly okay. Right?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah.

And I have been so fortunate, and I'm in my same house for 58 years.

Yeah.

And remodeled 5 times because I was an interior designer for 58 years.

Wow. Wow. Now, how do you, um, I, I like the analogy again of the brain sending messages to the body, and so often that, that negativity can affect the body in so many ways. And I wonder if you've seen that in your clients where The headaches or the aches and pain just follow from a lot of their stress and mental distress. How do you approach that?

I had the ability and still have the ability to rid people of headaches. If it's a migraine, I can only lessen it slightly, but the others— I'll tell you the story. Many years ago, I had a handyman at my home. I have a side door where you open it and you can look out to the street. My handyman knocked on my door and asked me if I had aspirin. I said, "No, I don't take any." "Oh," he says, "I have such a headache." Well, I couldn't have him working with a headache at my house. So I said, "Okay, I'm going to try something." and it's going to be successful if you want me to try it. He said, okay. So I take the headache and I find the location, the color, the intensity, and I start to work.

Mm.

I get the color to lighten. I get the size to shrink. I get the shape to become consistent. So It's no longer the bright red. It's no longer the quarter. It is now the dime size. It is now between the eyebrows. Close your eyes and you put your fingers there and you go near a window or a door. And since he's outside in the yard, side yard, he's facing the street. "Close your eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. Then I want you to take your fingers and pull that dime out and toss it away." He starts to laugh hysterically.

"What's—

Fred, what's going on?" He says, "I got rid of it. I threw it out. And there was a truck passing by. I bet I gave that SOB a vacation." I did something for a young woman on an airplane. Nobody had aspirin for her where we were. She got rid of it.

So these, um, these changes or the presence and the color and the shape, these are based on his or her self-report then, and then you're helping them to make these shape changes, modifications.

I modify it so that it can go from the center of their eyeballs. Tossed away. Eyes are closed when you start. Eyes open as you watch it fly away.

Really objectifying it. Sure. Yeah.

It's been working.

Yeah. Well, good. Good.

I feel like a magician sometimes. In fact, wait. Can you show me the thing there? Spoons, among the many things that I've done. Can you see it?

I can see that, yes.

Okay, that is a day seminar that I took called Certified Warm Former. It was a whole day of creating heat, of creating heat and energy. Yeah, to bend it. I have Googled And magicians have a trick. They take it and put a very slight line in the back.

Okay. Just for people that can't see you, and that's everyone, you're holding up a spoon that's bent, right? Yeah.

And I also have a fork.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That's also bent in half. Yeah.

Spoon.

Another spoon.

Yeah.

Not everybody was able to do it. But my friend that I went with, we did it.

Wow.

So that's persistence, consistency, and focus, attention, the ability to bring warmth to parts of your hands.

We have a lot of strengths and powers that we're not even aware of, right?

Well, other people walk on nails. Yeah, I did 40 feet of hot coals.

Hot coals, Tony Robbins style. Sure.

Yeah, it wasn't easy. I wasn't that kind of a child where I would willingly, you know, fly down the hill on my bicycle. Yeah, but the desire to improve my life has been mine ever since my polio.

Yes, that's good. You own that. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me about the— you have a degree, a graduate degree in spiritual psychology. Where does that come into the picture on aging and aging well? How would you apply or implement some of that to successful aging?

Well, that was where the I Am came from. That was where my various challenges came from. I learned a lot in 2 years, and I'm grateful to USM for the knowledge I obtained. And that, on top of all of my certifications, made me feel willing and able to help myself. And others.

So that's, that's what it's all about, right? Yeah.

Yes, because I no longer can be an interior designer living in Los Angeles. Where I live, sometimes it's like a parking lot.

Sure, sure.

Sunset Boulevard, forget it. 405 to the 101, forget it. The— I mean, the COVID the heat, there's a lot to contend with.

Yeah, of course.

So I have given gratitude for being able to have people come to my home and to enjoy my garden, which my husband and I did a lot of work on, to take care of my dog with the assistance of these lovely people that come to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And everybody that I take the time to ask if there's an— they feel an energy in this house, and their answer— you want to answer the energy in my house?

The moment I walked into Eileen's house, I just recognized the warm, loving, creative home she's here— she has here. She's living— it's wonderful. And she opens that up to everyone. She's introduced me to her son. We extend that, of course, to her dog Nikki, who's been her companion for 16 years, and her, you know, people that come in and out. She just introduces everyone and makes them all feel welcome and integral.

Sure.

Living, breathing place, this home.

Yeah, well, that says a lot. That says a lot about the house and about you, Eileen.

I just—

the environment that you created, the welcoming, inviting, reassuring, nurturing environment. Yeah.

I love people. My son and I play volley on ping pong table.

Oh.

And we keep beating our own score. How many times do you think that we did it?

85.

Okay, 1,263.

Of course, but you're the title holder.

Yeah, well, we're trying to get into the Guinness World of Records.

Oh, are you? Okay, I'll look for that.

We will or not.

Yeah, good for you.

But yeah, I've been instrumental. I've been interviewed by Spectrum, I've been interviewed by ABC. To encourage people. And now the people that I had been working with, they're working with Parkinson's people. So it's like, I feel that things that can move forward from me gives me gratitude. Things and people. Yeah.

Yeah. It's that kind of pay it forward almost where you're benefiting from what you're doing and giving, and you're, you're moving forward yourself from, from that help. Yeah. Any words of encouragement for my audience before you wrap up?

Well, my encouragement would be definitely put some effort into I Am, because I am confident it will make a difference, because so far I've gotten Everybody just improves in some manner, form, or fashion.

Wow. Okay. So that's the picture of the heart. I am, and then the tangents coming off and we fill in the lines with whatever those affirmations are. I am in a positive statements. And that helps to enrich our definition of who we are, right? It gives us a complete picture.

Yes. And it sends the message from the brain to the body.

Yeah.

Which is very important. Yeah. If the body is giving you aches and pains, that difficult to be a happy.

Yeah. Right. What we think about, we bring about.

Right.

So let's think about the positives.

You remember that?

Yeah.

It's a little rhyme. All right. Uh, looks like we're out of time, Eileen, for today. Before we wrap up, I just wanna remind my listeners to visit my website, livingto100.club. Sign up for my email list and download a free copy of my 9 Tips to Make Living Longer Enjoyable. While on the website, please peruse the library of blogs and podcasts. We've been talking today with Eileen Greene. Eileen, thanks so much for being a guest on our show today. For those who might want to contact you, how can they do that?

Egreen321@aol.com. And but I need, you know, identification because I don't pick up every single thing.

Of course. Okay, well, thank you again, and thanks to all of our listeners for tuning in. I hope to see you next time.

And I thank you.

You're most welcome.

It's been my pleasure.

Hi, I'm Laurie LeBay, and I wanted to tell you about Alzheimer Speaks, which is another great podcast. You see, my own mother lived with dementia for 30 years, and I felt lost. Did you know every 3 seconds someone in the world is being diagnosed with dementia? Odds are, it's going to hit your families too. We want to help you connect to services, products, tools, research, and stories so you can be prepared. Please subscribe to Alzheimer Speaks on your favorite podcast platform.