How to Future-proof Your Home and Create Safer Living Spaces with Caryn Leventhal🧠

Welcome to the Living to 100 Club Podcast. Here's our host, Dr. Joseph Casciani.

Well, hello to all of our listeners joining us today on our podcast. You're listening to one of our Successful Aging episodes this month on the Living to 100 Club program, and I'm your host, Joe Casciani. On each program, our conversations educate and inspire, helping you get the best out of all the years we're given, regardless of what obstacles come our way. You can learn more about my club at my website, Be sure to take a look at my new training and activities manual, Better, Longer, and Happier: A Guide to Aging with Purpose and Positivity. It's a series of 12 modules in a card deck format developed for activities directors at senior living communities. Make sure to visit my website, livingto100.club/blh. Now on to our program. We invite as our guest on this podcast Karen Leventhal, licensed general contractor, certified aging-in-place specialist, and fall prevention expert. In this conversation, we discuss many aspects of remaining safely in our homes, whether through do-it-yourself projects or hiring specialists to make the necessary modifications. What are the safety concerns regarding fire, electrical systems, emergency evacuation, and fall prevention? Where do seniors often go wrong when making their own modifications, and why do so many resist making these home modifications in the face of growing physical changes? First, a little background. Karen Leventhal, founder and owner of Seniors Choice brings knowledge, experience, and a passion for helping people to her comprehensive assessment of home safety concerns and solutions. Senior's Choice was founded in 2008 as a handyman service helping seniors make minor home repairs and modifications. It grew and became a general contracting company, which enables the homeowners to expand their services to include accessible renovations and whole home remodels. As a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist, a designation by the National Home Builders Association, Karen can recognize potential problems and provide practical answers. With over 20 years of experience as a social worker and senior service provider, she's an expert in fall prevention senior care options, and accessible home modifications. We're fortunate to have Karen on our program today. Welcome, Karen. Glad to have you with us.

I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah, good. Looking forward to this conversation. This is such an important topic, timely subject. People are facing a lot of decisions about aging in place, so we're going to get into this. I always like to open by asking our guests to describe a little bit about the maybe the highlights that brought you to where you are today. You've got a long history working with seniors. What are some of the highlights that stand out in your mind?

Sure. Well, actually, Joe, you and I have something in common. I know that you had a practice working in skilled nursing homes. That's right. Yeah, and that's exactly where I started. I started as a social worker in skilled nursing, one of my first jobs out of college. And what I learned was that the people living in skilled nursing, and it's a little different now, but back then especially, The people living there, they had the hardest times with the simple things in life. The simple things I mean are like the activities of daily living, right? I mean, for us, you and I, it's easy to brush our teeth, wash our hair, take a shower. We don't really need too much assistance. But when it comes too much for the person, then they have to either get help at home or they have to be put into a community or a facility like a skilled nursing home. So my first experience was in skilled nursing where people needed extreme help, you know, more help or extreme help, and their environment where they lived didn't match where their body was. So they had to change their environment.

Right.

Then from there, I, uh, took a down step and I went into assisted living and independent living and memory care. And that's a place where, again, people need assistance, some type of assistance, and they modify their environment to make it easier for them. And then I went to owning my own business.

Yeah.

And that really takes the— it's more preventative stuff so that you don't have to move into a community or a facility. And I'm all for them. I mean, I think they serve their purpose. They're amazing. I've worked in several assisted living communities and they definitely serve its purpose and they're good for the right person. But they're not for everybody. It's not a one-size-fits-all. And when you ask people, 80, 90%, when you say to them, well, first of all, 100% of them tell me, because I ask when I speak in different things, how many of you want to live in a nursing home when you get older? Yeah, 0%, right? Nobody aspires for that. Assisted living is becoming more mainstream because they're marketing it as, you know, like being on a cruise on land. And you have all these amenities and they are amazing.

Yes, they are. Yeah.

Yeah. But still, despite all the positive marketing and the positiveness of those communities, people want to stay home. There's no place like home. 80, 90% of people want to stay home. And I really help those people who are— that's their goal to stay in their house. And I try to be very proactive with them of things they can do to prevent any problems happening. So I'm all about prevention and looking forward into how we can keep them home. And I call it future-proofing, similar to baby-proofing. You know, when people have a baby, they are like, oh my God, I've got to block the plugs. I've got to lock the cabinets, especially where the poison is. I've got all these things to do. And you got to sort of go back to that and, you know, future-proof your house. Maybe not lock the cabinets for the poison, you know, but depending on what's going on in the world, in your life or the person's life you're caring for. But you really do need to get your house ready for this, and it's better to get it ready. The underlying message I'm going to tell you is it's better to get it ready before there's a problem than after the problem.

Yeah, planning and prevention is really the heart of this.

Absolutely.

Yeah. So your background in aging, SNFs, and assisted living memory care, you could really see kind of where these institutions, where these settings filled in the gaps where people needed help. Absolutely. And what you're, what you're seeing now is that maybe if we fill in the gaps before they have to sell their home, maybe we can help the older adult stay, stay there. So what is the aging in place movement? We hear this term a lot. What, how would you describe aging in place?

Well, the definition of aging in place is really using services at as well as equipment to help people stay in the environment of their choice. So it can be aging in place in their home, which is my specialty. Moving into a community that's like a multi-level community, that's also aging in place. So if you move into a place that has independent living, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing, that's aging in place 'cause you've moved outta your home, but you're aging somewhere else. So the place is really like a theory. Wherever you're living is your place. It's not that it has to be in your home.

In that, okay. That's good. That's good clarification. Yeah. Yeah. So aging in place is anywhere where you, where you're comfortable, where you want to be.

Exactly. Like I said, everyone wants to be in their home if they can.

So what are the, what are the types of fixes? How do we fill in the gaps? What kind of changes do we need to think about to help the older adult stay safe in their homes? Yeah.

So there's many different things. I mean, one of the things that I do is I go in and look at the whole entire house. A lot of times I get a call like, oh, I'm worried about my bathroom, or, you know, my mom's having problems in the kitchen. That's great. But if they're having problems there, then they're probably having problems other places in the home. And I really ask the person who I'm looking at in their environment as to what places of the house are you avoiding? Like, are you not going through the garage anymore? Why not? Because there's stairs? Or, um, what— are you taking a shower every day? What's your normal health pat— you know, health cleanliness pattern? Are you showering every day? Oh no, maybe just once a week because I'm nervous and my daughter's here when I'm taking the shower. So it's like I really get the cues from the person I'm working with to determine more specifically what I'm looking at, but I'm always looking at the whole house. Yeah, because people don't think about the whole entire house and how it makes a difference.

Yeah, that's an important concept. I, I know you, you have more to say about that, but, um, if people are avoiding a certain setting or a certain room, it's probably for a reason, right?

Exactly.

You're able to get a sample of not just what the reason was you were called in for, but what else is going on.

Exactly.

Beyond that presenting picture.

Of course. And also the other part of it is, is I'm looking future, right? I'm future-proofing. So I'm thinking, oh, this, like, this just happened the other day. I went on this assessment. The person has memory issues. And on the counter was all of their pills just laid out on the counter, all the bottles on it. It was organized. I mean, it wasn't dangerous in the sense of like a mess or anything, but the person has memory issues. Well, I said to the caregiver, I was like, I'm not really sure it's wise to leave out all the pills on the counter because the person could go ahead and just start popping pills. Like, that's something I'm observing. And I think you should put the pills in the cabinet out of plain eyesight, something like that. And people, when you live in it, you sort of become like blind to your house, right? Oh, that cord has always been there. I've never tripped on it. Why would I start tripping now? And I think it's important, you know, and to go back to the aging in place question, I think it's important to realize that as we get older, our house gets older with us, but it doesn't change. We change. Our bodies are changing. Our minds are changing. Our house doesn't change. It gets older, but it doesn't radically change. Like, poof, all of a sudden my grab bar appears because I'm having problems in the shower. Those are things you have to actively do.

Yeah, so we can adapt, we can adapt to whatever's going on, but the house doesn't, doesn't adapt to us.

Exactly, exactly. And that's what I look at is how we can adapt the house to the person. Absolutely.

So, uh, small things, uh, big things, what, how, how extensive can these modifications get?

We can tear down your house and start all over and build you an accessible dwelling unit. We could do that. Yeah, most people don't want that. Um, but I just actually, I was just got off the phone with an old client of mine and this woman, um, decided she inherited furniture and she wanted to, um, bring this furniture to her house, but her house wouldn't fit it. And, um, so then we looked at it and she's like, I just want a 3-foot addition to my house. Well, the cost of a 3-foot addition for furniture doesn't make any financial sense. So then after talking with her, we were like, well, what if you had more space? What would you do with it? Because this house really isn't accessible and at all. And I said, so do you want to stay in your house? That's always the first question. Like, do you want to age in this house?

I do.

Okay, then we need to definitely modify, especially the bathroom. Like, that's the first thing. And she said, okay. And so it ended up— long story short, ended up being— and she had the funds for it. We did a whole house remodel. We remodeled the kitchen. We made it accessible that if she goes in a wheelchair, we did something like we put the microwave in the cabinets. We had, you know, the countertops at a lower height. There's all sorts of modifications you could do in the house.

Yeah.

Big or small. Some people, they just need— like another client of mine was having knee surgery. This is a great example. She's having knee surgery. So she said to me, do you mind looking at my bathroom again? And I've been to her house. We're friends. And I said, sure, no problem. And then I said, okay. I said, well, you're going to have knee surgery, right? So you're going to have to step over your shower lip, which is only like 4 inches. But when you're having surgery, 4 inches could be 4 feet. It really doesn't matter. And I said, so you're going to need a grab bar when you walk in the shower to hold on to. And, you know, depending on which knee it was and all that. And I said, so really on your right-hand side, you need a grab bar. And then I said, and then you're going to be sitting in the shower. So she had a bench. And I said, but then you're going to need a handheld showerhead because it's really— your showerhead's not really reaching where you're sitting. And then you need a grab bar to help you get off the bench. And she's like, I don't need any of that. I'm not going to be sitting. And I said, well, you're post-surgery. And I said, you know, I'm not a physical therapist, but I've been doing this for years and I know people who have had knee surgery and this is the recovery trajectory. And I said, so yeah, these are the things you need. And she goes, I don't want any of that. I said, all right. And we— I said, then let's just carry on our personal conversation and have lunch. That's it. I'm giving you my recommendation as a professional, what you asked for. So after lunch, we didn't talk about it at lunch. And then after lunch, she said, okay, let's go back in that bathroom again. I said to her, no, I already gave you what I suggested. She's like, I need to see it again. I needed to wrap my head around it. And I said, okay. So I went through it again. I said, like, a handheld shower head, really helpful. The grab bars, really helpful. She already had a bench. I said, I would recommend putting like a wet towel down on the bench so you don't slip because sometimes they're slippery. And I said, they're minor to me. They're minor modifications. But in her head it was like this major undertaking. And after surgery, she got home and she called every time I talked to her, she goes, Have I told you how much I love my shower?

Yeah.

I told you how much I use my grab bar? And I was like, oh, really? And she goes, you do know what you're talking about. I go, oh, that's so great. I'm glad all these years of experience have helped me somehow.

Otherwise, the walls can go up so quickly, right? I don't need any changes. I'm able. I can manage on my own. I'm fine.

Everyone's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. So instead of the 3-foot extension for more furniture, you helped your client really do some major remodeling.

Of course. And because she already had medical issues and none of that was being addressed in this 3-foot extension, that was just to accommodate her furniture that she wanted. But after looking at it and talking with her and with— she had a fiduciary and was a team. We all worked together to determine what would be the best solution for her.

Mhm.

And that's what we determined.

So you do this assessment, I mean, you, you're called in for maybe a specific reason, and then you start looking around. And what, what kind of systems are you looking at? What, what comprises this whole house assessment?

Sure. Um, it starts at the front door. How hard is it to get in and out of the house?

Entry. Mhm.

Entry. Yep. And also I look at lighting. I'm always looking at lighting to see how bright it is, if there's any tripping hazards at the front door, if you can see it when you're walking, if there's a step and you can't tell that there's a change in elevation because it's the same brick, that's the same brick. So then sometimes just putting a colored stripe to indicate, oh, we're changing elevation, let's make sure we realize that. That's something simple we do.

Okay.

Something we're putting handrails. So yeah, it starts at the front door. I always look at like in case there's an emergency, in case there's a fire, you really want to have 2 exits out of your house if possible. And so I always look at the 2 different exits, you know, that you can get out of the house and make them accessible if possible. And it's all if possible, but there are a lot of solutions out there. You might not like all the solutions that are out there, but they are out there.

Okay. And beyond the entry, what other systems are you looking at? You're looking at electrical system, you're looking at plumbing, you're looking—

Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely looking at electrical and lighting. That's definitely, um, that I'm looking at emergency preparedness. What if the EMT comes? Do they know who this person is? Do they know what kind of medications they are— they're on? Does this person have a pet who needs to be called in case of an emergency? Um, all that kind of stuff. So I'm all about the emergency preparedness. Um, I also look at, um, The fall prevention, that's major. So again, it goes back to the prevention. I'm always looking at what we can do to prevent a problem from happening. Falls happen. First of all, falls happen all the time. And if you have one fall, the likelihood is super high you're going to have a second fall.

Sure.

Some of them could be avoided, obviously, right? You can have better shoes on. You can check your vision. There's things you can do physically to make it safer for yourself. And one of them is making sure your house is pretty fall-proof. And so that's something I'm always looking at. And the biggest place people have issues with falls is in the bathroom. You have a lot of hard surfaces that are wet. I mean, that's just the nature of the bathroom. And so I really look at things you can do, things you can add to assist you be safe in the bathroom. Let's— I mean, everyone has to use the bathroom multiple times a day. So it's really important to keep that place safe for the person.

Yeah. Well, okay. So, um, I guess you're able to make a lot of these recommendations. And I mean, can people do these on their own? Can they do—

Absolutely. They could do some of them on their own for sure.

I mean, Home Depot and Lowe's.

Absolutely.

Other ways as people do these. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, what I do is I do the assessment, I write it up for them, and I send them links to shop. I mean, I'll tell them, here's where you can get this. I don't need to get this unless they need me to. But most of the time people can shop for themselves and I'll be like, one of the biggest things I talk about is rugs. People have throw rugs.

Sure, throw rugs.

Love them to cover up spots on their floor. The dog peed somewhere. This rug I bought when I was in Russia and I have loved my rug. There's all sorts of things. And I do, I call it the twist test. If you stand on the rug and do the twist, the dance, right?

You do the twist.

If it moves, you have to tape it down or it needs to go away.

Not a good rug. Yeah. Good for dancing, but not for— Yeah.

It's just— And I know it's been there 40 years and you're used to it being there, but it's that one time that you lose your balance, your foot gets caught underneath it, it moves and you're not going in the same direction that you fall. And falls can be so devastating. I mean, look, back to skilled nursing homes. There was a woman that I worked with, several people that they had a fall and it was the beginning of the end, honestly. Sure. Right? And so preventing them is just so important to me.

Yeah, prevention is the name of the game because people can get very discouraged with some of these falls and hip fractures and shoulder fractures. And what's the use? I can't make it. I can't go to physical therapy. I'm never going to recover. Yeah. So it's, it is, it's all about prevention. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What else contributes to these falls in the environment, in the setting? Carpeting, poor lighting, obviously cords, lamp cords, extensions. Yeah.

And those are things people can do themselves.

Yeah.

But it's also having the right equipment that you need. To assist you, right? So grab bars are your friend, basically your friend. Now, people, I'll give you a warning, people love to get things they could do themselves, right? It's so easy right now. Put in the word grab bar on Amazon and you get 500 choices. And I've, I've been in people's houses. This just happened recently. I went in this guy's house. He had 4 walkers. Sitting out. It was like a parking lot of walkers. And I was like, oh, why do you have 4 walkers? And I'm not a physical therapist, so I wouldn't advise somebody what walker or not walker to get. But I was like, why do you have 4? They're like, oh, I saw this one on Amazon and it was blue and I love the color blue and it looked like it was great. I'm like, okay. And then I'm like, why don't you use it? Oh, it doesn't fit through my door. Oh, okay. All right, then there's a red walker. How about that red walker? He's like, I bought that one on Amazon too and had a cup holder and I really like that. And so I went through every little thing. So people are spending good money after bad because they don't know what they're looking for.

Yeah. Grab bars especially. I mean, you can get those type with the suction cups for your—

Oh yeah. Those I throw out. I throw those out immediately.

They're deadly.

Yeah. They're deadly.

Yeah. And even putting them into a wall, I mean, you really have to know how to find the studs and do all that correctly.

Absolutely.

Yeah. What else besides those, the grab bars, what else contributes to so many falls? I mean, we're not talking about internal causes, medication, dizziness. No. But external causes, what else can we prevent?

Yeah. Well, so, well, let me, I want to go back to grab bars a second if you don't mind.

Sure.

With grab bars, the suction cup ones we've already said are not good. But they have new things out there that they have, like toilet paper grab bars or towel bar grab bars, because people hold on to their towel bar if they're uneven on their feet. You know, they're wall walkers, right? And they hold on to their towel bar. And that's not what a towel bar is for. So they now have towel bar grab bars. They're a grab bar with a little towel bar underneath. They're secured in the wall like a grab bar because they are a grab bar.

That's good.

And they're Yeah, and they're decorative, they're pretty, they don't have to look institutional. I mean, that's the thing about it. They have come— we've come a long way, baby. We have come a long way on what we have out there. There's so many design choices and options in these things.

Yeah, so one object serves both purposes. That's exactly—

yeah, yeah, yeah. Also things like, so the toilet, things to use to make it easier on the toilet, getting on and off the toilet.

On and off the floor. Sure.

It's a higher toilet, totally a higher toilet. They have a thing that's called the Toilevator, which is actually— I know it's funny— it's installed underneath your toilet. So between the floor and the toilet, and it raises the toilet up even higher. They have things. So the, the thing to think about is on the toilet, right, you want to have your legs on the floor, you want to have your legs at a 90-degree angle, and you want something— if you have mobility issues, you need something to push off of. To get yourself up, to sit to stand, right? And so having something that you can put your arms on, like armrests, those always help. Okay. Same thing in a shower. You want to have a seat that has armrests or grab bars next to you that you can push yourself up.

So with the toilet, you're talking about some, some block or something that goes in between the rim of the bowl and the seat to raise the seat up?

That's not what I'm talking about. You could do that. So there's many options with the toilet.

Because that raises your feet off the ground and that's not necessarily good.

Exactly.

So it just depends.

It depends on the person. So that's the other thing, there's not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Sure, sure.

So it depends on what the person feels comfortable with and what they need. There's a thing called a 3-in-1 commode. That's a piece of equipment, $30 to $50. You could buy it on Amazon, you could buy it at CVS, wherever. Goes over your toilet, it has armrests, it has a back, and it's called a 3-in-1 because you can use it in 3 different ways. You can use it over your toilet, you can use it next to your bedside. Let's say you're having a a flu and it's really difficult to get in and out of bed and go all the way to the bathroom. You can keep it next to your bedside as a bedside commode, or you could put it in the shower as a shower seat.

Sure. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I can see that. Yeah, yeah, meets a lot of needs. Sure. Um, have you seen any, um, disasters when people do it themselves? Of course.

Yes, I've seen grab bars in the weirdest places.

Oh no. Yeah.

One house I went to, at the sink, at the vanity, there was a cabinet and they had grab bars in front of the cabinet.

Hmm.

And so you would bang into them. First of all, you couldn't even reach into the sink because the grab bar was like hitting you in the abdomen. And so, or I've had people put the grab bars, you know, too high or too low. You know, you have to have the right placement for them.

Sure.

So yeah, I've seen that. And like I said, people just buy stuff because they think it's really cool and they think, you know, oh my God, I need this. My friend Mary has this, so I should get this. Yeah, Mary has totally different problems than you do.

And the walker that doesn't fit through the doorway.

Exactly. And another one of my favorite products, honestly, it's called a transfer pole. It looks like a stripper pole, though. Okay. It's tension mounted. It goes from floor to ceiling and it is great in so many different locations. You could put it next to your bed to help you get in and out of bed. You could use it next to the couch to get off and on the couch. You could, but the most place, the most time I use it is in the bathroom to get on and off the toilet and in and out of the shower. So if let's say there's a shower door and it's glass and it's really close to the toilet, you can't put a grab bar, you could put this transfer pole that's again tension-mounted floor to ceiling and you could grab onto it and move it. And it also moves. It has like an oscillating— that locks in an oscillating arm, and then that will help you get in and out of the shower, in and out of the toilet, on and off the toilet. I mean, there are a lot of products out there.

Is that safe? It sounds— it seems like it could move.

No, it's totally safe. It's tension mounted. I mean, you don't want to have— I mean, you want someone to install it that knows what they're doing.

Yeah. Okay.

But it's tension mounted. It doesn't ruin it. It's good for people who rent. Because they're not installing anything into the walls or into the tile. So you could put it in a shower. Yeah, so there's lots of options.

Okay, good to know. Um, I'm just thinking, when you come into these, you know, the homes, people are very happy, they want to stay. And as you said, you try to do the assessment, kind of comprehensive, look at everything that could be potentially wrong. There is some resistance, right? The people that don't want to make changes, that things are going fine. And, um, look at my friend. What? Yeah, your friend, but she came around after lunch.

Yeah.

But what, what's, uh, what's the resistance all about? Is it the fear of aging, fear of, you know, becoming frail and dependent, and kind of maintaining this overly optimistic attitude? What, what's your take on that?

All of the above. I think, yeah, I think fear is the number one thing. People are fearful of change, right? Nobody likes change. They I like it the way that it was, and that's the way it was, and this is how we do things. And they're also, um, the feeling of like loss, of like their loss of power, their loss of independence. If I have a grab bar, if I have a something over my toilet, it shows people I'm not as strong as I used to be. Well, they already know you're not as strong as you used to be. We could visually— we see it as the outside person, but they don't want to admit that to themselves. And then also the hugest thing I think is denial. Denial that things are changing and that they need help or that— and there's nothing wrong with getting help. You know, and again, the whole thing about aging in place is making your life easier. These things we're helping with, these activities of daily living, whether it's bathing, dressing, grooming, whatever it is, to make that person's life easier is to help them have, again, make their life easier, to help them Go through the day and not make going to the bathroom a chore, a life event that it takes me 3 hours to get ready in the morning because it's so difficult to get in and out of the shower. It's so difficult to use the bathroom. It's so difficult to get up and down the stairs. I know so many people who have really changed their life for the bad. They've limited their going out because it's hard to get out, up and down their stairs. They even have 2 stairs to get out of their house and they're so difficult to get out that it's just easier. Not to go out.

Yeah.

Or I only go out once a week, right? Because that's the day I'll get everything done because it's so much work. And you want to make the person's life easier. That's the whole concept. Easy, easy, easy. Hit that easy button and make it easier for them and make it safe.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean, that to me is successful aging, when we can adapt to the changes without feeling discouraged or depressed or whatever because we are changing. And, you know, eyeglasses and hearing aids and canes and walkers and whatever we need to continue to thrive and continue to move forward.

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. The denial is strong. And I always learn that I have a lot of respect for denial, you know, and I've said that before, but people who are using denial because they're afraid of aging, they're, you know, You take that denial away and sometimes there's nothing left, and they're kind of flooded with all the worst thoughts.

So, uh, I could see they're talking, right? They're buddies, that denial and fear. They're very like close friends.

They're close cousins, I think.

Yeah, they're cousins.

Yeah. How about the adult children? Are they, um, do they— are they positive? Do they contribute to solutions, or are they putting up resistance, or Where do they fall? I know it's hard to—

I was just going to say, so Joe, do you have a family?

Yeah.

Okay. And would you say they are helpful or not so helpful at times?

Oh, that's a different conversation. No. Yeah, helpful.

Helpful. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

And I think the big thing is it depends, right? So a lot of times, like just any type of family dynamic, there are so many different factors in it. You could have multiple siblings that don't get along. You could— I mean, I've had cases where someone said to me, oh, just so you know, there's 6 of us involved with my mom and dad. I'm like, oh, great. Okay. And they're like, John's in charge of financing and I'm in charge of health care. And, you know, and they're very organized, which is helpful.

Sure.

Or you get the families where it's like, well, I have a stepbrother and a stepsister and a real, you know, full brother and a blood sister. And it's like, you know, and that's the modern world, right? This is where we live. Everyone's a blended family, or a lot of people are blended families. So my answer in short is it depends.

Depends.

I think if the adult children are educated or are willing to learn, then I think that's great because then they help their parents. But again, the biggest thing, and I see it with my friends, my parents are in their late 70s now, and my friend's parents are in their late 70s and 80s. And that denial is just so tough to get through. And there's a lot of, um, trying to— I would— I don't want to say conflict, but conflict between you're the child, I'm the adult, I don't need you to tell me what to do, I know what's best for me. We're not there yet. That's like the common thing I hear. We're not there yet. Well, Mom, you're not leaving the house because you can't get out. It takes you too, you know, 4 hours to get ready in the morning, and yet you don't think you're there yet? So what do you know? You're just a kid. You know, Mom, I'm 50 years old. I'm not a kid anymore. You know?

Yeah, yeah. In those cases, I always think it's important to kind of put the spotlight on what Mom is doing well, you know? Yeah, he's doing right. Let's, let's take the spotlight off of what her needs are, what her failings are, but let's pay attention to What, she's still— gee, Mom, you're really managing this big house since Dad passed away, or, you know, since, you know, family moved, or whatever. But you're doing all these things, and you— yeah, I'm glad to see that you're doing a good job at that. And then, then the walls can come down, I think. Otherwise, the walls go up.

Yes. And sometimes, um, it's interesting. So there's plenty of situations I've come in and the fam— like, I'll say something and the the senior, the person I'm doing the evaluation for, they'll be like, oh my God, that's so smart. I never thought of that. And the daughter's sitting there going, Mom, I've told you that 15 times. Of course, just because Karen says it doesn't mean it's good. I mean, it's good, but I mean, and, you know, so there's that kind of thing too. So I've learned that I could be the good cop, but I've also learned I could be the bad cop. Sometimes the family is like so supportive and the, you know, the person's in denial and then I have to be the bad cop and be like, this is really dangerous, you know, and put the smackdown on the whole situation.

Yeah, to present them with the facts.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

And I'm a pretty straightforward person, you know, I shoot from— I'm a social worker, so I always talk about the facts and, you know, the truth and trying to help the person. It's always for the greater good, but I'm not going to sugarcoat things because I've seen too many things, right? As a social worker, I've seen the bad side of life. Yeah, and so you don't want to— and people don't want to see that bad side, but it exists.

Yeah, sometimes it's very easy to avoid the conflict and avoid the tension and the disagreement. So sometimes people walk away from that when, you know, this is something that I put out on the table in front of us and let's take a look at it.

Exactly.

Yeah, so, um, I know when we spoke earlier, there's your, your system, and I— we only have a minute or two left, but You have 6 areas in the home that are, are really your major concern when you're coming in to help fill in small gaps or big gaps. Can you just touch on those 6 areas?

Sure. Yeah. So one of them I'm looking at is fall prevention.

Yes.

Overall, I'm always looking about fall prevention. I'm looking at fire and electrical safety. I'm looking at lighting. I'm looking at emergency preparedness, whether it's poison control, all sorts of emergency preparedness and injury prevention. So those are the areas.

Oh, wow. Yeah.

So I'm sorry. One of the things that I really think about, especially with fall prevention, there are these buttons they're called. Everyone's seen the commercial. I've fallen and I can't get up and you hit the button.

Sure.

Well, they've come a long way and they have fall detectors. You can use your Apple Watch as a fall— they have fall detectors in Apple Watches now. But those are great tools that people are very resistant to, but they are amazing tools that I always encourage people to look into.

Yeah, the sensors are on the walls now too, right? Yeah. Sense some unusual movement or abnormal movement.

Exactly. And those are huge, huge helpful things. Again, you're preventing things from happening or having the systems in place to react if something does happen. I live in an After 55 community, and I was talking to a neighbor, and I said the ambulance has been here quite a bit lately. And the story I heard for two people that they both fell and they were home alone and nobody knew for days. They lived by themselves.

Wow.

They didn't see people. It's not like they, you know, check in with people. And that makes a huge difference. I have to mention my grandmother because my grandmother, she passed away at 101. Super independent, fierce woman. You know, when I first started— this is a funny story— when I first started my business, she said to me, I said to her, "Grandma—" She lived in New Jersey. And I said, "Hey, we just started this business." You know, she knew about it. I was like, "I'd love to just put a grab bar." grab bar in your bathtub. She took a bath every day. She goes, I don't need a grab bar. I'm like, well, Grandma, we need the practice. Can we just do it? We need the practice. She said, sure, whatever, Karen. So next day we installed it. Next day she's like, that was so helpful. Oh my God. Oh boy. I didn't realize it, but how helpful it would be. Yeah. And then she said, in my other shower, can you put another grab bar? Because when my friend sleeps over, That would be helpful. I said, absolutely. So as my grandmother aged, right, that was like around when she was 85. As she aged and passed at 101, she ended up using the other bathroom. The grab bar was already in there. We had a handheld shower in there. That house was ready for her, and it made all the difference in the world that she had it there for her. Yeah. Yeah. And, and that really is the key to it, right, is just having that ready for you. She also had, and something we didn't touch on is the importance of socialization and having people looking out for you. So I just mentioned my neighbors who nobody knew they fell and then they broke a hip or whatever happened to them. My grandmother had this support system that was absolutely incredible. First of all, she did have a button that in case something happened, she'd hit it, or they would call her if she changed elevation. It was a fall detector. She also had friends and family that would call all day long. So if she was going to go take a shower by herself, she would talk to Ethel and say, hey, Ethel, I'm going to go take a shower. I'll call you when I'm done. And if Ethel didn't hear from her in 15 minutes, Ethel was calling her. So she had checks and balances going on all the time. Yeah. And that made all the difference too, because it was annoying when I went to visit her and the phone wouldn't stop ringing for sure. However, for her, when she was home alone, it was amazing. That she had this support. People were looking out, you know, isolation we didn't touch on, but isolation is a huge thing. Sure, sure. And not feeling isolated, feeling cared for and loved make all the difference too. And that was definitely a huge success for my grandmother to have that in her life.

Yeah, and we don't even know, you don't know what kind of risks you avoided because the grab bars were there. And I think the term future-proofing is really a smart one because Thanks. We don't, we don't necessarily need it today, but we might need it down the road a little bit. And let's, let's— not that we're going to, you know, anticipate a fall, but let's prevent the risk. You know, it's risk management. Mitigate it. It is. It's all about prevention, uh, rather than avoiding or dealing with it after the fall. Let's see what we can put in place so we're smarter, we make more informed decisions, and we put these You know, we put these adaptive devices around. Exactly. Makes a lot of sense.

And it's also like, it's always better to do it preventatively than like to be proactive instead of reactive.

Sure, sure.

Because I've gotten plenty of calls. Mom just fell, broke her hip. She's getting discharged next week from the nursing home, from rehab, wherever. We need to make her house safe for her. And it's, it's a lot more stressful, first of all, when you're acting in reaction mode, and it ends up being more costly because sometimes you can't get the supplies as quick as we need to get them. We have to rush order things, getting, just getting the timing of it all down together. Sometimes it's a project like a bathroom remodel, making that accessible, making a wet room, whatever it is. And you know, when you're reacting, it just always costs more. Yeah, more stress, more money, more and more and more.

And really, prevention doesn't mean that we're going to age faster, right? No. I mean, I've heard people say, well, if I start putting those things around, that means I'm, I'm really older than I am. No, it doesn't mean that at all. Exactly.

That means you're smarter than you were. Smarter.

Yeah. Yeah. That's for sure. Yeah. Well, that's great. Thanks for this information. So, uh, tell our listeners, um, how they can learn more about you and your work. Sure.

Website. I, I love to talk on the phone. You could call me anytime. Yeah. My number is 760-518-1836. You could text me, call me. I have a website. It's www.seniors with an S at the end. So S-E-N-I-O-R-S and then S-D dot com. Seniors Choice. Oh, I'm sorry. SeniorsChoiceSD.com. You'll have to edit that. So it's SeniorsChoiceSD.com.

And the number 760-518-1836. Correct. SeniorsChoiceSD.com. Are you, um, can you take calls from anyone like around the country or do you have to practice within your state? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh no, I actually do evaluations and home safety evaluations. I do that. I could do them mobile. I could do it on Zoom. I've taken— I've gone through— I had a client that I met her here in San Diego, and she heard me speak somewhere, and she was like, I'm going to be in Minnesota. Do you think you can help me in Minnesota? I'm like, absolutely. Just have a tape measure with you. Yeah. And so she walked around with her phone. We were on a Zoom call, and I said, okay, measure that doorway for me. Okay, measure this for me. And then I took all these notes. We took pictures, and then I was able to write a full assessment just based on that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then, and then I was also able to connect them with providers in that area because I'm connected through different organizations with different providers. So I can say, let's say they needed a walk-in shower. Well, I have a lot of people who do walk-in showers in Minnesota because they use the same product I use or whatever it is. So I was able to help facilitate all that. Yeah. Well, that's great.

That's great resource. I hope you get some calls. We might have some calls coming in, uh, internationally too. We have a lot of global listeners. You never know. So yeah, that's amazing. I'd love to help them. Yeah. Great. Okay. Well, uh, Karen, looks like we're out of time, but before we wrap up, I just wanna remind my listeners to visit my website, livingto100.club, sign up for my email list and download a free copy of my 9 Tips to Make Living Longer Enjoyable.. And if you're affiliated with a senior living setting, be sure to look for my new training activity guide, Better, Longer, and Happier. So Karen, thanks so much for being a guest on our show today. Thank you.

Yeah, it was great. And I just want to remind people, there is no place like home, and let's make it a safe one.

That's great. Okay, no place like home. Let's make it a safe one. Let's keep it a safe one. Great. Absolutely. And thanks to all of our listeners for tuning in. Hope to see you next time.