Reviewing a LIVE CALL of one of my clients

this wife permission objection that she was gonna freak out if he spent $2,800. And yeah, it was like, there's this whole thing.

I just don't care, because like, to me, saying that as a man, it's just gay as fuck.

It's gay, bro. I know.

It's so gay. Like, oh, I need to ask my wife if I can lose weight, dude.

Yeah, I got to the point where I was like, brother, I'm gonna be straight the fuck up with you. This is your, your responsibility. Your wife has nothing to do with this decision. Like, you are going to be the one who shows up and um, and I knew it was going to come up too. I was trying to like— I don't know, there were some questions I was trying to ask about his wife. They didn't really land. I got lost a few times, but I— there's like, you'll see there's a lot of like circling back to specific things. So I got the answers. Luckily he was pretty open.

Is that a linen shirt, mate? Yeah. Fucking fantastic. Hello.

Hello. I'm a big Lennon guy. Oh, it's trying so hard to work. There we go. Yeah. What's up, Lennon? How you doing, man?

Good.

How are you? Staying out of trouble. Where are you calling in from?

Uh, Langdon, North Dakota. So northeast corner of North Dakota, just about Canada, pretty much.

Oh shit, man. I didn't even know North Dakota was a real place with real people, man.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's a cold place up here, so Yeah, same here, brother.

It's about like, we got like 40, it's 45 here in North Carolina. I don't like it, not used to it.

It's -1 here, but it was, uh, it was, uh, what, real feel was like -50 here last week.

So yeah, well, shit, man. Well, anyways, brother, looks like you had booked in about 10.

Nervous, he's like rocking on his chair a lot.

Yeah, eventually losing some belly fat, um, losing some weight and healthy, all that jazz. Um, so we can You got your Velos in your hand. I think I popped one like mid-call. I was like, all right, just out of curiosity, man, what had you seen from Coach Kev that had you interested in booking in a call?

Um, well, I had been following him for quite a while on Twitter, and just the stuff he would post is like, well, okay, yeah, that's, you know, it sounds like he's willing to work with, you know, obviously people with a busy lifestyle.

And it's like, of course you see all these people that are like Yeah, so it's like when people say that, they're expecting it to be like not free but like a favor. Yeah, whenever you have people say something like that, it's as if it's like you're doing them a favor.

So then I don't know why they think that, but oh yeah, just go to the gym. It's like, we— I can't do that. Like, I, you know, you work all day and then you come.

Yeah, you can't. You work all day? No, you know, you—

yeah, we, we got into like, dude, I wish I would have noticed that earlier. I can't do that because like it ended up coming up in objections where he was like, I can't spend that money. And I was like, well, it's not that you can't, it's just that you're not willing to get resourceful and do whatever it takes. Like, can is the opposite of can't. Like, those both exist. You're telling yourself you can't, therefore you can't. I wish I would have called that language pattern out earlier.

Yeah, yeah, because it's like, it's like, I mean, I don't know what, like, his pain points and what do these pain points end up being.

Uh, so like he's got like a 6-month-old and another kid, so he's got 2 kids. His biggest pain point was, um, just more energy, like to be around for them, like, you know, being comfortable taking his shirt off if they go to like a vacation or whatever. And also just like he said something weird about his wife too, like seeing that he has lower energy now and You know, he just feels like shit.

He's a killer question to ask those types of people.

Yeah.

So like when somebody sells themselves a story that they can't go to the gym, it's like, I guess these stories that you're telling yourself that you can't go to the gym whilst, you know, you still don't have the energy to play with your kids and your wife's having to take on all the responsibility. You showing up that way, is that a true reflection of who you want to be as a husband and a father?

Fuck, that's so good, dude. That is the question I was missing.

Yeah, dude, that's like, there's not a lot that, like, you know, like you don't have the energy whilst your wife is having to take on all the responsibility.

Yeah. And that's literally what he said. He was like, I don't want that to happen. He said, that's what happened in my, my parents' relationship. It was like my mother ended up taking care of all the kids' responsibilities because my dad was just working so hard. And he was like, I don't want to be that guy.

Yeah. And then it's like, how did that relationship end as well?

Yeah, you know, I got a wife and two kids now. It's like, okay, well, you don't have time to do anything until probably 8:30, 9 o'clock at night. Well, then at that point you're just exhausted.

I ask him that question whenever I feel like I can. It's like whenever somebody's given us like a limit in belief, but then it's affecting stuff with the family, I'll use, I'll use that sort of question.

Yeah, that's— wait, two questions behind that, Joe. Um, well, first of all, is this more of a statement? That's exactly what I was looking for because I got to the point where I had this pain and I had this like limiting belief and I was like, fuck, dude. I was like, I kept looping back trying to figure out that exact question. It's crazy you say that, but it's just— wait, what is it again? It's just like, do you feel like—

so it's basically like these stories that you keep telling yourself while—

yeah, because he was saying— he kept saying they're not excuses, but I was like, okay, well, do you know what you did there? You said it's not an excuse and then you said but Yeah, so it's like these stories you keep telling yourself, man, it's like when somebody starts a sentence with 'to be honest,' do you think they're being honest?

No. But it's not an excuse. What does that tell you? It's a fucking excuse.

Yeah, right.

So it's basically the way the question goes is like, these stories that you tell yourself whilst pain point is still happening and you showing up that way, is that a true reflection of who you want to be as, you know, whatever the identity is, whether it's father.

And that's so good for these type of people because it's like you're not shitting on them. You're just— it's like you and him versus the belief. Yeah, it's like, so, okay, so these stories that you're telling yourself, are they, um, you know, given that you're in XYZ pain, is that a true reflection of the father that you want to be for yourself and for your family? No? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I tried to— I think I tried to future pace him based on like Okay, that version of you, like, how would— like, limiting belief gone— how would your family see that version of you as opposed to now? And I think that hit pretty hard.

Um, go to the gym, I would be like, what do you mean? And then like figure out what he actually means by that, but then figure— and then say, okay, but like— and we'll touch on that again, but just so I understand, like, what actually is the goal and why is that goal important? And then get into like a bit, then ask that question.

Yeah, I was a little bit jumbled. I don't know why I started the call like that. I typically don't do that, but I think— oh, I know why, because it was— I didn't have any information on him. I didn't know how much weight he wanted to lose, so I was just like, all right, talk to me. Yeah, because he like just booked it last minute.

Never look at the pre-forms. I never look at like—

yeah, Asian forms. Wait, one more question, Joe. When he, when he said that off the bat, like, I can't go to the gym, is, is that something I should have just like slightly called out? You can't I mean, like, you can't go to the gym? What do you mean?

And then got to explain it and be like, okay, uh, just so I understand it, like, where exactly is it you want to go? Oh, I want to lose 20 pounds. Okay, like, why is that important though? Oh, for kids. Well, what is this specifically about kids? Oh, blah blah blah blah blah. I don't have the energy. Oh really? How's that showing up yet? Well, you know, I don't have the energy to play with them. My wife's taking care of them. Okay, mate, so I guess, especially like this story that you're telling yourself, like, that you can't go to the gym whilst you don't have the energy to play with the kids and your wife's having to take on all that responsibility. Like, in terms of like, she wanted that way— is that the true reflection of who you want to be as a dad and husband?

Yeah.

No. Okay, so how about we stop, we stop with that? Like, I can't go to the gym, mate. What's actually holding you back internally from going to the gym? Oh, well, I'm just like, I'm a little bit afraid because I've tried something in the past. Oh, okay, cool. Reframe fear, future-based consequence, done.

Yeah, that's what I'm missing, bro. I was like, I know what I need to get, it's just taking me hell of a long to get there.

Yeah, it's just getting there quicker because I mean, that's what, like 1 minute 30 into the call. Yeah.

Messages, you know, from the day and doing everything else. And then that's kind of my time to sit down and actually do stuff that I want to do or need to like figure stuff out for the next day.

Yeah.

Okay. What is it you want to do? Is like not showing up for your kids what you want to do? I know he hasn't said that yet. Okay.

So definitely time. And you mentioned you have 2 kids.

How old are they? Um, one will be 2 next week, and then the other one will be 6 months on the 1st.

Congrats, man. I bet they keep you busy.

Yeah, so that's kind of where this whole thing— and that's it. Yeah, Kevin, there was like, you know, before kids, it was like I had lots of motivation. Like, you know, we had a room in our basement that wasn't really used for anything, so my wife—

it's a strange thing to say, isn't it? Before kids, I had a lot of motivation.

Yeah. So then, like, I gotta call that right there. Do you want the kids to be the reason that you turn over every stone and get into the best shape, or the reason that you don't?

I had motivation before you had children. Should you not have— now that you've got kids to look after and provide for, should you not have more motivation to make sure that you're healthy for the future? Yeah. Okay, so why are you using them as an excuse? And then, yeah, fucking cooks. Yeah, but like, dug fucking deep, right? So you've actually like got the juice behind what you're asking them questions, then just future-based on it and the consequence.

Yeah, wife wanted a, uh, kind of a workout room, so kind of—

my wife wanted a workout room. Okay, so health is something that his wife wants. Mm-hmm.

Built it for her, did all the work, you know, got stuff put in there, and it's like she uses it, but the amount of times I've used this, probably I can count on one hand, you know.

So yeah, okay, I got it, man.

Oh, I mean, wife's uses— she's in health and fitness. I don't So when it comes to his health and fitness, he's going to want to speak to his wife because he feels like— trusts her. He trusts her with his health and fitness more than he trusts himself.

Yeah. So let's talk about the goals here, man. Um, how much weight you're looking to lose?

Ideally 20 at the very minimum, but you know, at the minimum, yeah. I mean, like, what do you weigh right now? 220-ish, somewhere in there. 223, I think, but How tall are you? Like 5'9".

Okay, okay.

And now you say like, like minimum 20 pounds, man. What would be— what would be like the maximum, like the most, like in terms of the best possible shape, like what would you ideally look to get at?

I don't know, I mean, if 180 sounds like a lot, but ideally probably like closer to 190 where I'd feel—

I did— 180 sounds like a lot, ideally closer to 190, minimum 20. It's like he doesn't even know what he wants because, yeah, he's uncertain as to whether he can get it. So what's— what is it like, the actual goal weight? 180? Well, 180 sounds good, but 190? Well, is it 180 or is it 190, man? 180? Okay, so why would you— why would you accept anything less than that?

Probably a little better. It's just like recently I've had like just not knee problems, but like you can just tell that like Carrying around extra weight isn't good.

You can just tell. I can't tell, Matt. Tell us, because he's saying you can just tell and say no, mate.

How can you tell?

Like, how can you tell?

Yeah, because he says that a lot, bro, and I didn't know how to— that was one of the things I didn't call out. He said you a lot.

Yeah, because if he's passing on responsibility of you in terms of his pain and what he wants to achieve, he's gonna pass on the responsibility of the decision to someone else. Mm-hmm.

How would you call that out?

So what did he say again? He said like, you can just—

let's even— because like, like, let's even say I don't call that out and we talk, because we do talk about like the uncertainty here, but later in the call when we're getting into, you know, his pain, he's saying you a lot and I've noticed it, but I didn't know how to like ask him, why are you saying you?

Yeah, so there's a couple different ways I would— you could be like, when you say you, do you mean me or do you mean you? Oh, it could be like, do you see what you did there, mate? Do you see how that's dangerous? Is that what— like, well, when you're explaining the pain that you're in, you're saying like, you're in this, you're in that, you're, etc., etc., etc. You're not saying I. Do you know, do you know what that is? What it's doing is it's, it's like a coping mechanism. It's taking this weight of responsibility off of your shoulders and putting it onto me. And look, mate, like, I don't mind if you want to put the responsibility on me, but you should mind about it. So how about the rest of the call, like, we don't pass on that?

Okay.

So just be— that's the one, that's when you— where you got to be pretty direct.

Yeah, especially that language, you, because people will use it a lot. Or say, do you see what you did there? It's like you said you instead of I, mate. What you're doing is you're somewhat accepting that it's not you in this situation, but it is. Because like, that's the sort of language where like, if they do that throughout the call, they're not actually going to feel like— I don't sound silly, but it's like they're not going to feel it as much, right? Because they're not talking about themselves. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, they need, they need to talk about themselves so that they can fully understand the situation. Because it's like It's a difference between saying you're shit and I'm shit, right? If I say I'm shit, that feels a lot different to saying you're shit. You know what it's like when you shit, right? Whereas like, you know what it is, it's like when I say you're shit, it's as if I'm talking about you, you know what I mean? I'm not talking about myself.

Yeah, and if you come at it from a frame of like the reason why I'm saying this is because I want you to win, but we can't want it more than you. So if the responsibility isn't on, on you, then we're never going to get the results. So you got to use— you got to use that as like a coaching moment of like explaining to him why he's using the language he's using and then getting to own it.

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, no, I get that, man. Okay, well, let's— can I ask you a question, brother? It's like, do you— when it comes to setting our goals, um, I want to sort of challenge you here, if I may. Um, but I also want to understand where you're coming from. So for you and in your perspective, are you looking to just kind of, you know, play our cards safe and more so just, you know, do get the minimum, like get 20 pounds off? Or would you want to get in the best possible, best possible shape to be able to move better and to be able to, you know, just maximize your health, like down at 180 or 190?

I would say that. I mean, I think once I could get into the routine of like, hey, this isn't that—

yeah, it's a good question that you asked. Like, you hit the nail on the head in terms of like which one you actually want to achieve. But, but then he said like, I would say that. It's still not like— it's not conviction, you know what I mean?

I call that out too in a second. I'm like, the language you're using—

cool.

Bad as long as you make time for it. You know, and I think when you start to see the results, I think it would just make it that much easier to keep pushing and keep going towards that, not necessarily just quit. I was like, all right, I was like, I'm gonna have to open the can of worms here.

Like, shit, how the fuck do I attack this?

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Give us some nicotine.

Exactly.

Okay, man. Yeah, so can we set then, just you and I here together, just sort of set a challenge goal of 180? So that way, um, when we get to that point, we can either decide if we want to build on more muscle to the frame. Maybe if you wanted to just be, you know, 190, 5'9", it's great, you know, like build on 10 pounds more muscle. Or maybe if we even wanted to keep going, you know, shred down to like wherever it is, or if you wanted to stay the same, 180 is, you know, pretty healthy for 5'9". So are you open to taking on that challenge and sort of shooting for the stars instead of, you know, kind of selling ourselves short?

Yeah, I mean, that's fine. I just, at this point, I don't even know like ideally what a weight's supposed to be. I mean, there's— Yeah.

Well, what, what weight do you want to be, mate? When, what, what were your last— when you felt your best? Okay, you think, think about this. You've got a kid, you said you've got kids, right? Go back to think about when you were a child, like how you would have— like your dream dad. What would you have wanted your dad to look like and be an example of? And what would his—

that's a good question. Yeah, that's really good.

Because regression as well, taking him back to his childhood. And then as you said, he talked about his parents. Now then you're going to open up a fucking can of fucking regression worms.

Yeah, that's good.

It's like, well, what, what would— like, when you were a child, what would you have wanted your dad to be to set an example to you? Like, you know, any chance you get to do regression, fucking do it. Okay, it's one of the most powerful things you can use on a sales call, like just taking somebody back to the childhood, right? Because it's like, as I say, it's like, you know when you were on TikTok or Instagram, whatever, and you're watching like nostalgia videos? Yeah, you like the music of like the birds tweeting and stuff like that. Yeah, playing outside, and you're like, you know that feeling you get in your chest? It's like, fuck, I would wish to go.

Shit hits so deep.

Yeah, like the feeling of like nostalgia on a sales call as well, but also like getting people into like what's kind of conditioned them to be where they are today. It's fucking hits deep, man.

You know, you take your— say you take your kids to the pool, they're doing something, it's like, I don't want to take my shirt off, you know? So it's like, that's the—

you want to take your shirt off the kids' pool? Why? Are you embarrassed? Who are you embarrassed of seeing it? Uh, other people's dads. Do you feel like you're not setting the standard of a dad? That's why you're embarrassed to take it off in front of other dads who have put in the work to best show up for their kids?

Hmm.

Yeah, this is where I was so scrambled. I was like, I was hearing you, I'm getting pain, and I'm hearing uncertainty, and I'm like, holy fuck, which way do I attack this from?

Yeah. No, yeah, I get that. Um, but they're all linked. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, because if he was certain he would get there, he'd say I, right? Um, but yeah, it's like he's embarrassed to take his shirt off, but like, why is he— it could, it could be anything. Is it because he's embarrassed that his kids will see him with his shirts off and another dad with their shirt off and be like, shit, I wish my dad set an example like that. Is it because of that? Is it something on him? Like, what is it, right? Mm-hmm. But it's like, that's where you're gonna fucking start hitting the identity of like being a fucking dad who sets the standard.

Yeah.

The worst part, I think, is because as my kids get older, you know, you're going to be going to hotels, you're gonna be swimming, you're gonna be doing this kind of stuff, you're gonna be in public, like Fuck, ow!

I was like 70 times.

Yeah, something that you're gonna feel comfortable doing that, you know. So I mean, if it's beyond that, I guess whatever, but it'd be nice to get rid of it and then it would be nice.

Yeah, I heard that.

Is that for us?

Oh, shit. Yeah, you're back. Oh, I can't hear you.

Still can't hear you.

Oh wait, no, we're back now. I can hear you now.

Okay, yeah, I don't know what happened there.

Okay, okay.

Norris, last thing I heard you say was, um, um, it'd be nice to, you know, just, just not have to worry about that, right? When you're talking about like taking your shirt off, you know, and, you know, things, occasions like you'd be going to the pool, hotels, that kind of stuff with the kids, and just not having to worry about taking your shirt off and that kind of stuff.

Yeah, so I mean, like, even if you could just get down to what a healthy weight is, but then start building back, you know, with muscle or, you know, whatever.

Exactly.

But, you know, but the problem that I always struggle with is like, okay, yep, so like we farm too, so obviously spring through fall tends to be long hours. Like there's some nights where you don't get in till 11, 11:30 at night. It's like, well, what, you know, when do you do that? Or, um, you know, I could do it maybe right away in the morning. So much like morning or early morning.

And he's saying like, obviously spring, summer, you— this— it's as if you're like, obviously, as if it's obvious to you as well. I know it's fucking not.

But yeah, that's— and then I keep telling myself, well, wintertime, you know, I'll have a little more time to, you know, actually make it a goal. But with two kids and involved in other stuff, I mean, you always find stuff to do, and then pretty soon the day's over.

But Yeah, I get that, man. And that can be, that can be definitely a challenge, especially for clients that we work with, you know, specifically our field where, you know, we work with busy professionals. And so I definitely don't want to discredit that, man. But can I, I guess, help me understand when it comes to— because one of the biggest things when it comes to weight loss is just nutrition, as I'm sure you're aware. And so for that, it's like, you know, we don't have to be— one of the biggest things is like you don't have to be in the gym every single day. You know, 2 hours a day eating freaking chicken and rice every day in order to lose the weight. Um, so maybe, maybe if we can kind of get a baseline of where we're at in terms of nutrition, can you just walk me through like what that typically looks like for you?

Yeah, yeah. So there's actually a lot of mornings that—

yeah, I don't know, I guess I thought I should have just called— I should have just started going down a rabbit hole instead of getting a baseline. Yeah, it's like I already had so much.

Think about, think about what's going to make the sale. Is it—

yeah, it's like understand this guy's nutrition or understand what's held Yeah, I don't end up eating breakfast because you're either leaving early or just, you know, want to grab something quick.

So like, you know, want to grab something quick as if you fucking do the same thing. So it's like, it's like externalizing like the responsibility but also minimizing, right? Because like you're going through it as well. So I know I'm fucking not.

Yeah.

Okay.

Normally what I do is there's those like Fairlife protein shakes, so that's a good majority of just— I grab one out of the fridge, leave, drop kids off at daycare, go to work or go to the farm.

Yeah.

And then, you know, like weekends and stuff, you know, it's probably—

it's like I drop kids off at daycare and like, okay, and like during the day, when do you take care of yourself in terms of your health? A little play on words.

Um, more so like an eggs and bacon kind of thing, and then my wife does some like homemade bread, so kind of like a homemade breakfast sandwich kind of thing. But okay, cool. Um, as far as lunches, um, I guess it's mainly just say leftovers from the night before or whatever. And we do try to keep, not like a close eye, but like obviously you're not going to make a hot dish for every meal, you know, for supper, but obviously Obviously you're not gonna do that.

It's like, fuck, you need to just get them out with this language.

So should I just ask, like, why do you keep saying obviously?

Yeah, so you keep saying obviously, mate. Like, it's not obvious to me. Why are you saying obvious as if I'm meant to completely understand the situation? I'll go through the same thing as you. You think I got to where I am from doing the exact same thing you've been doing?

No.

So why are you assuming that I am? Fucking just take them out. Like, sometimes you gotta slap people, but it's because it's like, this guy needs slap. Well, I'd call it out. Actually, to be fair, I haven't called it out once yet. So like, yeah, yeah, because he's like He just keeps externalizing it. No surprise when it came to the decision, he externalized it onto his wife. Mm-hmm. And then that's why he's stuck objection handling for an hour. Mm-hmm.

How often would you say you're eating out or getting takeout?

I don't know. Not very often.

Okay.

You know, if anything, it'd be maybe once a month. Oh, wow.

Okay. What do you know in terms of like the food you are eating on a daily basis? Your macros, calories, protein, all that good stuff.

Not so much. I mean, the protein-wise, like, because my wife will do some of that sometimes, but, you know, we do eat a fair amount of just like chicken. And I mean, I don't know, she obviously really likes chicken, but, you know, and I enjoy doing stuff on like a Traeger grill or a pellet smoker. So like, yeah, we do try to have, you know, obviously some sort of meat, obviously, like all the time.

Yeah, I love some smoked meats, man. I love it. Yeah, I mean, North Carolina down here, man.

Yeah, yeah, you guys probably got a little bit down there.

Yeah.

Okay, man.

So if we can sort of rewind, um, I noticed, I noticed just it's almost like in your language pattern. Um, if I can share a perspective on that, I noticed when we were talking about, you know, your goals and, um, just sort of reflecting a bit, it was, I noticed something interesting when we were talking about that. I felt a level of, of uncertainty in your language just because of, you know, using words like it would be nice to, or, you know, just like, you know, bare minimum, like let's get off 20 pounds. Where does that uncertainty come from? If I may ask?

Um, I don't know, it's just, it's been with me for a long time. That's like, I need to just, just go downstairs and just sit in that room and just be productive and do something, whether it's like walk on the treadmill or sit on the bike or something. And we do have a TV.

And so why don't you do it? Why don't you do it? It's because I think about it, it's like, he's here, he wants to get here. In terms of getting from here to here, why hasn't it happened yet? Are you saying like, you know, I've got to travel downstairs? We don't see enough fucking doing it in the room.

So like, yeah, you know, it's just something where like I could turn on YouTube or do something, you know, while I'm doing it. Is the sad part is like you can still watch TV more or less if I wanted to.

Yeah, but what goes through your mind?

So it's like, think about this, like if we dug into like the kids and stuff, right? Okay, mate, like do you see how silly that sounds? Like the fact that you're only willing to change your weight for like your kids so you can actually show up for them? If the fucking new episode of Stranger Things is good whilst you're on the fucking treadmill. Like, how fucking retarded is that? I don't say how retarded is that, but like, it's like, that is not about— like, if we actually figured out like deep, like what he wanted and clarified and probed, right, actually got to the meat and potatoes of like how it's— how he's showing up as a dad right? When we get at this point, it's like, that does not fucking align with you being like this.

Yeah.

But then what he's also doing, mate, he's just external— it's once again externalizing. He's externalizing his weight now on the fucking YouTube. Hey, really? What?

And when it's like, like, can you give me an example of like the last time sort of you knew, you know, it's right there, you could just go down and do it, but for whatever reason you didn't?

Do we even know how long this has been an issue for though?

I, I ask him. No, we don't know specifically how long yet, but I think I get into it at some point.

Yeah, it's like the entire call, like, like, like in terms of like the deal being done, could have been done in like the first 5 minutes.

Yeah, it's probably every night, honestly. Probably, I would say so, because like I said, once I put kid down to bed A little laugh. It's like, okay, so then it's just the wife and I, and we might talk about what's going on throughout the day or what we have coming up. Yeah. And then the biggest thing is just phones. I mean, yeah, somebody sends you a text message or, um, somebody calls, well then you talk on the phone for half an hour.

Well then, once again, you think— mate, you can't blame the fact that you're not the dad you want to be because somebody fucking calls you. Like, you can't. And it's like, that sounds fucking harsh, but it's fucking true, and he needs to hear it. Like, because otherwise he's not going to be the fucking dad that he wants to be for his kids. So like, the way I think about it, that is like, if you need to fucking hammer it home with this guy so that he can actually show up for it, fucking do it.

Yeah.

And if he gets pissed off, it's not your fault, because like Seriously, he's blaming his fucking friends ringing him. You can take a call and exercise, and just because you take a call doesn't mean you need to eat a pizza. Yeah, like if there's salmon in the fridge, you can still take a call and eat fucking salmon. Like, yeah, it just doesn't make sense.

By that time it's 9:30. Well, you know, it's almost too late to start, so then you get ready for bed and So it's just, then you get ready for bed, you—

yeah, do you know what I mean? He's not taking on any responsibility whatsoever.

Things like that. But I know, yeah, every day that it's in the back of my mind that I'm like, God, you know, I'm— the thing is, if I don't go do something, I'm going to regret it tomorrow, kind of thing.

And then tomorrow comes, and then he wanted to take a day to think about it and speak to his wife. Well, as you said, mate, it's like you always tell yourself you'll do it tomorrow, and then you regret that. So do you want to actually do that again? Because if you do that, right here, mate, you're repeating the cycle, right? So it's like, he's like, you know, it's like, I'll do it tomorrow, to do it tomorrow. And then it's like, well, how much, like, how much longer do you want to tell yourself you'll do it tomorrow instead of just fucking doing it today? And tie that off, because I'd imagine he said something in relation to that in objection. Yep, yep.

It's like, yep, I I really wish I would have just went down, did something productive, that kind of thing, you know.

So why the fuck don't you? Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, man. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for your wife and kids. Because you're making all these excuses whilst they're suffering. It's like with people like these, mate, this mate, they're the sorts of conversations you need to have. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, it's fucking— it might be uncomfortable for you to have it, but fucking so what? Like, do it, because it's, it's, it's not fair to them if you don't, because then they're not going to buy. They're going to stay where they're at. The kids are going to grow up not having any memories of the dad because he couldn't be fucking arsed to put in the work.

No.

How long, how long has that been on your mind for? How long, how long has that been the case?

Well, I guess once again a little laugh.

It's like, actually, so like when COVID was still a big thing, I ended up losing a bunch of weight because I wasn't eating. I wasn't like— I was so tired all the time. Could be true. And Yeah, so then, I mean, I knew something was wrong when—

what did you say? I didn't catch what you said.

I said could be trouble. What's that about COVID He just said he lost a bunch of weight because he wasn't eating. Basically, he like lost weight unhealthily, right? But also blaming it on COVID, also blaming the unhealthy weight loss on COVID.

Oh God, COVID was like fucking 6 years ago. Yeah, sorry, what the fuck's he done since then? I can tell you what would be funny— ask him if he got COVID. Ask him if he got COVID, and I'll bet you he didn't even fucking get it. I guarantee you he's externalizing it onto a disease that he didn't even get.

Yeah, I was having supper one night and had one piece of pizza and they were like, that's all you're gonna eat? I was like, I just, I don't have any appetites, you know, I can't get anything down. Yeah, so I lost— I was down to—

so, oh, oh, so you did get it. Okay, mate, so the only time you lost weight was when you had a disease. So at what point are you going to get rid of this disease that you've got, mate? Wait, what disease? The disease of you externalizing all your responsibility on everything but yourself. And your health and fitness get— and your health and your weight getting heavier and heavier and heavier. When are you going to let go of that disease? That's a banger question, that. Actually, fuck me, that is a banger. I was like, oh, that's good. You're like, you're completely villainizing it. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, like, I had COVID, the disease. Okay, mate, but like When are you going to get rid of the disease that you've currently got? And you'll be confused. You're like, well, I don't have a disease. You do. You've got a disease of externalizing all your responsibility on everything but yourself, whilst your family's still suffering because you keep gaining weight because you refuse to cut off this disease. So at what point are you going to— you ask a question like that, mate.

Cooked. I think I hit 199 at that time. I thought, holy man, that's the first time I've been under 200 in probably, you know, a long time, obviously. Yeah. And, uh, so yeah, ever since then, you know, I told myself, well, geez, just keep it off, you know. Now I'm down this far, you know, but life happens. And then, you know, life happens.

Oh, fuck off. What do you mean life fucking happens? Can life happen? Does life have to happen unhealthily? Yeah, life didn't happen, mate. You fucking happened. It's like, you want— are you one of these people that like wants to be like let life happen to them, or do you want to make life work for you? I mean, it's like he's fucking just so much externalizing from this fucker.

And the main thing I think, and I know, and I've done it I guess in the past, where I know how much you eat obviously affects a lot of it too. Like, yeah, eating more than you should, obviously. And, you know, I've done that for multiple weeks where I'm like, okay, just sit down, this is what you're gonna eat, that's, that's it. And, you know, I don't know so much of did it make me feel better, did I lose weight, I don't remember. But this past spring I was dealing with some stomach ulcer stuff, and I'm still— oh geez, kind of like Yeah, dealing with stomach ulcers.

Aren't stomach ulcers caused by like unhealthy eating and shit though? Or am I wrong there? I'm not sure, but I'm sure they are. It's like he caused the stomach ulcers. So let me get this right, the only time he's been able to lose weight is when he had COVID and when he had stomach ulcers. Yeah, great fucking diet plan. Give him a presentation on fucking chemotherapy. Like, fucking what? Like, you know, it's just ridiculous.

Like, I just had a scope last week to find out what's going on. So like, yeah, it's like every time I eat, you feel bloated, you feel like crap, you know? And it doesn't matter how much you eat. Like, even just obviously drinking— what, like, if you drink way too much water, you're gonna feel it. But just even drinking If you drink—

is he like educating you at this point? Like, what's going on here? The amount that he's seeing you now, it's as if he's educating you.

Yeah.

Um, yeah, water and having just a simple snack, you just feel miserable and kind of tired. And that's why I keep thinking, you know, if I just lose some pounds, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Yeah.

So that's been like since COVID So I would say, you know, maybe not.

It's like he's saying, like, you know, if I was able to do this, well, why fucking don't you? What's stopping you? Oh, no, mate, what's stopping you is you. It's like, would you outright say that? Yeah. What's stopping you, mate? Oh no, do you want to know what is stopping you? What?

You.

At what point are you going to stop allowing yourself to fucking get in your own way? When are you going to stop sabotaging yourself? What has it cost you self-sabotaging yourself since COVID What does it cost your kids? What does it cost your wife? Okay, and if you continue to hold on to it, what's going to continue to happen, mate? So at what point are you going to fucking stop doing this? No. Are you sure? Yeah. Why? Future pace consequence.

Hmm.

You need like— yeah, I think one thing, mate, is like know when the time is to be more aggressive.

Yeah, that's— I struggle with that, bro, because, bro, I like went too far on that one call and that one fucking guy fucked me up.

One guy. How many calls have you had, like, ever?

I don't know, a lot. Thousands.

Thousands. And how many people have said that sort of thing about you? Two. There you go, mate. There's your answer. It's like 2 out of 1,000.

Bro, yeah, it just fucked me up. He was like, he was just like this, he was just an asshole. He was just an egotistical maniac and he was just like, I'm so successful, I'm so successful. And I felt berated and I was just being real with him. That was the call we looked at. You were like, you didn't say anything wrong.

Successful in terms of money, not in terms of health and fitness. Yeah, you're not successful at all. It's like, you gotta fuck, dude. A million dollar bank account but a $12 body. Mm-hmm.

Like, yeah, so this guy, I just need it— like, I probably, looking at it now, would have just been less confused because everything he's saying just ties into externalization. He just hasn't taken responsibility. And I would have just been like, at this point, cut him off. Probably would have gone the route of doing like the nice versus kind frame. It's like, do you mind if I'm a bit harsh, just out of your best interest, instead of just, you know, telling you what you want to hear? Yeah, sure. And then just attacking it. Well, you know, since you've been gaining weight, the only time you were able to lose weight was, you know, when you had COVID, or, you know, when you had these stomach ulcers. And it's like You're mentioning all these things that get in the way, but at the end of the day, whose responsibility is it to actually take this into control and actually make a difference? Well, it's mine. So why are we blaming all these external sources knowing that it's just hurting you and your family? Okay, so how much longer do you want to continue to externalize the responsibility that is on you knowing that it's cost you, you know, showing up as a father?

Yeah.

Okay.

Why?

No, not longer.

Why?

Okay. And then future-based consequence.

Yeah. And you could have done that within first couple of minutes of the call.

Yeah. And even like, I'm like, I'm trying to use the frame more so it's kind of like less combative where it's like, okay, using all of these things as, you know, quote unquote, as excuses as to why you haven't been able to lose the weight. Besides yourself, even saying you instead of I, does that actually serve the version of you that you want to become? So what do you need to let go of? So what happens if you don't? Okay. And who's that costed?

Okay.

So are you ready to let go of it?

Why now?

Yeah, because it's all, it's all like, which is basically we had to do a rediscovery at the end when I realized it took me like, didn't get to where I needed to in the beginning of just like, how much longer do you want to say you're going to do it and not do it? How much longer do you want to be that guy?

Yep.

But it was so hard after the price came out.

Yeah. How much, like, what package did you pitch this guy?

Just $2,800. And I even gave him 6 months, which we typically charge $4,900 for.

Yeah. And then, and he was giving you like partner objection and—

Yeah, I mean, dude, probably a lot of fucking external objections. It was, um, yeah, no, it was, it was mainly just, it was a lot of uncertainty. It was fear mainly. And it was like, I don't want to sleep in the fucking doghouse. Like, you know, we make decisions this way type of objection. And then it was like, okay, well, what happens if you— you know, it was like, so like, we made sense of this.

Oh really? Because it sounds like your wife got a home gym to use and you don't. So how's that decision work? How did that decision work out? Yeah, so we made decisions. Yeah, your wife decides to be healthy and you decide to let your kids down.

Yeah, yeah. And I was getting angry with him at the end. He was even saying, well, maybe, you know, me and my wife just try to be accountability partners for each other. And I was like, how has that worked out for you so far?

Yeah, but it's like, it's also, it's like, be accountability partners? Really? Because from what you told me, you haven't used your fucking home gym. Yeah, yeah. So like, where's the accountability?

Yeah. That's good. Yeah, so this guy needed to be slapped around, which I tried, which I tried to, to make up for just with pain and future pace and consequence. But he was still using you, and he was still like— I never— I guess I never really addressed— I don't know, I think at a certain point I lightly did it, but like, would it hit so much harder if it was just like off the bat, like, dude, you're saying all this bullshit?

Yeah, because it is like up until now, it's bullshit.

Yeah.

So did you close him?

Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know. Probably not. I got him to put down $100 after an hour and a half.

Oh, damn.

So he put down $100 and he was just like terrified about like explaining to his wife. I was like, dude, I don't care if you tell her or not. It ain't gonna affect me, it's about you actually breaking the pattern and you taking the responsibility and taking the ownership to make that change so you can lead her to this decision that, you know, you need to make for yourself. So he was, like, shitting in his boots about, like, how he's gonna explain— what a pussy.

Yeah, it's because she knows how much of a fucking pussy he is with these album dinners.

Yeah, that's basically what he said.

He was like, Gonna even put in the fucking work?

Yeah, because it was this thing where it's like, okay, well, is she gonna think that, you know, is she gonna know that I'm even gonna do it? And I was like, well, do you want— like, that's your decision, and if you're paying for it, why would you not do it? And he's like, yeah. And then it was like, oh, well, she's also just not going to be happy about, you know, the, the overall investment. And like, like, dude, we can make that shit work. It's like, is she happy about your health?

Yeah, maybe she would be happier with you, mate, if you were the man that actually followed through on what he said he wanted to do. At the minute, it's like, do you want to become the man that, like, you and your wife, like, deep down knew that you always could be? Or do you want to become the man that your wife always views you as the man that wanted it but never fucking did it?

Mm-hmm.

So have you got a follow-up booked in with this guy?

Um, no, he's supposed to just Yeah, he's— yeah, that was— I don't know why I didn't do that, I guess.

But deposit, but like now, mate, you know, you know what to fucking do. Yeah, if he gets fucking anything external, or in fact anything he tells you, mate, you know what to say. Because like people, this, mate, like they'll fucking— they'll do anything but take responsibility.

Yeah.

So yeah, cool.

Well, shit, that was good. Yeah, yeah, man, because it's like, yeah, yeah, I think, I think I'm now in the phase where I'm noticing it. I'm noticing it too much. I just got to get better at calling it out. Which is progress because at least now I'm noticing it.

But yeah, but it's like, you're like, you're noticing it, but you need to fucking call it out. Yes. Otherwise it's just gonna build up.

Yep.

They might be uncomfortable for like 2 seconds, but it's a lot easier than fucking 40 minutes of objection. Yeah, 40 minutes. Damn. Yeah, I mean, an hour and a half ago to get $10 commission, mate. That's crazy work. That's like, that's like less than minimum wage. So like, fucking, now it's like, yeah, if you get a guy like this again, mate, like, fucking hammer it home. Yeah. Any questions from anyone on that? I have an interview as well for— because during the call I was talking to Damon. So on top of the interview