Joshua Fraser shares his mentor Dan Martell's advice that living without secrets makes you the freest person in the room. He did a personal audit of lies he'd told himself and others, using brutal honesty to rebuild trust. Trust builds drop by drop but shatters in an instant.
Chapters
Foreign.
With no secrets is the freest man in the room. My friend and mentor and coach Dan Martell and I were sitting up at a heli ski resort recently. Absolutely beautiful. And he said that statement to me with pure conviction. And I took so much away from it. I'm actually emotionally exhausted right now because for the last few days, I've really asked myself, what lies have I been telling myself? What lies have I been telling the people that I love and my friends? And I've been addressing them directly. Brutal honesty delivered kindly. And my relationships haven't just gotten a little bit better by addressing these lies, they're getting dramatically better. And it's not just like little incremental things here. Like they're jumping up and it builds so much more trust and rapport. Another thing about trust with this is that my therapist, I've been going to therapy for eight years, and my therapist has told me that, like trust, you kind of build trust with your friends, your family, your significant other, drop by drop, by drop, by drop into a cup of water. But it only takes one instant to punch that punch that glass of water over. And you have to build it up by drop, by drop, by drop. And sometimes that glass will shatter and it will never be recovered. So don't keep any secrets. You need to be open. You need to be transparent. And this is more for you than it is for the people around you. You will feel more like a free person, a happy, healthy human. If you're not holding these things in, they only fear and anger, lies, they all bring you down. There's a great book by Sam Harris called Lying that I recommend every entrepreneur reads. I'll link to that in the description below. But that's going to be number eight. Just a really quick tidbit. That was just an unbelievable piece of advice from my friend Dan Martel. You guys should also grab his book, buy back your time. Incredible for every entrepreneur. Everyone should read it. So that's number eight.
