Jason Mida: Entrepreneur and LGBTQ+ Advocate

Welcome to Disability Matters with your host Joyce Bender.

All comments, views, and opinions expressed on the show are solely those of the host, guest, and callers. Now the host of Disability Matters, here's Joyce Bender.

Hi everyone and welcome to the show today. This is Joyce Bender and here we are kicking off Pride Month. And at Bender Consulting Services and the Bender Leadership Academy, we completely understand intersexuality and stand for our brothers and sisters that fight the fight with us every day. So I am going to introduce a phenomenal person to you in a few minutes, but first I have to have my special shout out to Richard Roberts in Brazil. Richard, can't wait to see you, but you are truly a great disability advocate at the same time as you work for the State Department. And Gang Young in South Korea, hi Gang Young, thank you for your support. Cheryl Smith now is right at the State Department in Washington, D.C. And she— I met her when I worked with Tunisia and Libya virtually about 4 months ago. So hello to you, both of you, everyone, Benjamin in Kazakhstan, so many great friends in the State Department. But why I bring that up is because we have our listeners around the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are awesome. From China to Australia, we have such great listeners. This year is the 20th anniversary of this radio show, and it is my phenomenal listeners in the United States, but also around the world, that help make this all happen. I Just cannot thank you enough. Keep fighting the fight no matter where you live in this country. Yoshiko Dart, special shout out to you. Always thinking about you, Yoshiko. I can't wait to be seeing you again so I can give you a big hug. And thank you, Highmark. This has been our lead sponsor over the past, uh, 7 years. Or more, and they are a great company, a great partner. Uh, the whole executive leadership all the way to David Holmberg, thank you for always standing behind me and Bender Consulting Services as we fight to find employment for people with disabilities. Well, hey, welcome to Pride Month! We're just kicking it off with a superstar I love Jason Maida. He is the owner of Maida Associates. He is disability advocate, advocate in the LGBTQ community, just a wonderful person. I love him so much. Okay, I know I'm biased because he's like a son to me, but I want you to know he is first class in all ways and the perfect person to kick off Pride Month. Jason, welcome.

Well, thank you so much, Joyce Bender. It is an honor to be here, and I love you too. So thank you for that. It is great to be with you, especially as we kick off Pride Month. I know we have got a lot to discuss and a lot of work to do.

Yes, we do. We do have a lot of work to do, and There are many things going on in this country that are not right and that truly are, in my opinion, homophobic. And as I said, you forget something. You forget, listeners, that there are people with disabilities who are from the LGBTQ community. There are. And so let's just realize that when you discriminate or you say something about someone who is gay, for example, to a person with a disability, "Oh, that person can be gay." So keep in mind intersectionality, it crosses across the lines. So Jason, I thought what we would do, you know, you're a great disability advocate and I am an LGBTQIA advocate, and just so on Voice America that we have it right, is it LGBTQIA or is it IA? What is the correct usage?

Well, you know, it is a great question, and the truth is you will probably get different answers from different people. You know, what I use a lot is LGBTQIA+, which really, you know, allows for an all-inclusive opportunity, if you will, for people to associate with the community. You know, you will see some groups that will use LGBTQ. You will see some groups that will use LGBT. I think the important thing for folks to remember is it is less around the acronym and it is less around sort of how we nuance these things. It is more about community acceptance, and meeting people where they are. You know, I always say everyone's coming out process is their own. And honestly, what happens when you come out to people, it's not so much coming out, you're letting people in. Because I always say straight people never have to come out, and neither should we. And so one of the ways you look at it is you start thinking about, well, how do I open up my life so that people can become a part of it? So when you do identify with the community, regardless of you know, the acronym that you are seeing, just know that you are joining a really beautiful community that is going to be accepting of you.

Yeah. That is interesting what you said about— I never thought of that, about someone going up saying, "Okay, I am going to let everyone know I am straight." You know, I mean, you never think about it that way. So that is a good point you made there, Jason. So Jason, people love stories. They love to know about my guests. So let's start with you and your story. You know, like where you grew up, went to school, got involved in the LGBTQIA+ community, you know, and why you became an advocate. Let's hear your story.

Well, thank you for asking. So I've lived in Washington, Washington, D.C. for a little over 20 years now. But I grew up in a relatively small town, at least at the time, in East Texas. And, you know, I have a lot of great memories from growing up in Texas. It is a beautiful state. Unfortunately, you know, the politics of it right now are not— it does not make it a safe place for LGBTQ people. But I was your— you know, typical sort of high school student. I was student body president every year, and I was in debate, and, you know, I loved high school. I loved, you know, sort of just being involved, and that translated into my years at college where I went to a private Christian school that a lot of my family had gone to, and I was student body president there. And When I graduated, that's when I realized that it was a pivotal moment. And this was in 2002, so things were unfortunately very different then. But I had to sort of make a decision whether to continue living a lie or coming out and really just owning who I am. And so I did. And it was messy. I always say to folks, like, everyone has a different coming out experience. Some people jump right on a Pride parade. On a parade float and other people hide behind it. And so, you know, everyone has their way of dealing with this. And for me, it was difficult mostly because I lost at least what I thought were my really close friends. I certainly have some of those friends, you know, in my life even today. But it was a really, really hard thing to do, to come out. And I I also try to share with people, because this is something young people need to hear, because it's the truth. And I'm a big believer in we always speak the truth, even if it hurts or it's politically incorrect. The truth is not, not every coming out experience is going to be a good one. You know, if somebody was asking me today, like, how are my parents going to respond to this? Or how's the community going to respond to this? My answer would be, I don't know. And that is part of what is so daunting about this because you don't know what you're stepping into. But here's what I can promise to your listeners and to anyone else who's a part of this community. I don't have all the answers for you and I can't tell you how your coming out process is going to be, but I can tell you that once you come out, there is a weight that is lifted off of your shoulders because now you can face your problems and your obstacles and anything else going on in your life. You can face that with honesty. And so, you know, that, that's important. And then just briefly, you know, I worked at the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund for about 7 years. It's a political action committee that works to elect Republicans and Democrats who are LGBTQ to office. And then 12 years ago, after working 7 years in that movement. I started Maida Associates, and we're privileged to work with, you know, groups across the spectrum— disability rights, immigration, LGBTQ, supporting military and veteran caregivers. So, feel very blessed to, to have the opportunities that we do. So, sorry if that was long.

Oh no, no, I actually want to— I want to go back. I have a few questions. How old were you Jason, when you came out, how old was that?

I would have been 20, 21, 20 or 21.

20 or 21. Okay. So what gave you the strength to do that? What made you decide, that's it, I'm going to live my life truthfully? What was it?

Oh, wow. That's a good question. I think I was so, I was so miserable that I just, you know, didn't really, didn't really want to be a part of anything. And high school and college gave me structure, you know what I mean, to succeed in. And there were lanes I could be in. But once I came out, all that sort of disappeared. And so I think part of it for me was that if I'm going to start my life over, I want to do it honestly and I want to do it from a genuine place. So I think it was that. And I think it was also, you know, just to be really honest, a fear of losing the narrative. Because I believe everyone deserves to control the narrative of their story and their coming out process.. And the only way to do that is to come out and to own it and not let other people, you know, own it for you because it's a very personal experience. So, I would say I did it for survival, you know, just to be honest.

Yeah. Well, that makes sense to me. But you had to live with that a long time, Jason. I mean, I'm assuming you knew this about yourself at a young age.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's true.

And so see, that's hard for people to go all that time and have to be someone they're really not.

Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, it takes you down a path. And here's what I would say about it, and this is true of any lie, right? It doesn't matter what it's about. Once you, once you sink your teeth into the lie and you own it and you're like, okay, this is who I'm gonna be, nothing stops you. So you become— you, you, you, you do whatever it is you have to do for people to not think you're gay, especially when I grew up and where I grew up. So at any cost, I did not want people to find out that I was gay. That was my worst fear ever. And yeah, I mean, it takes a toll on your mental health. It takes a toll sometimes on your physical health. You know, I'm a recovering alcoholic, but, you know, when I came out, my drinking definitely increased from there to, you know, help with my anxiety and depression, or at least I thought it was helping. So, there is a lot of, you know, in every community, substance abuse, you know, things like that. But I think in the LGBTQ community that we have much higher rates of that because of the obstacles that people are stepping into.

Oh, yeah, I do too. I definitely think that. So, Jason, then you went on to school. Where did you go to school?

I went to a school called Abilene Christian University, and they're in Abilene, Texas, so basically West Texas.

Okay, and then when did you move to D.C.?

Uh, I moved to D.C. in, I want to say, September or October of 2002.

Okay, and Is that when you— when did you start working with HRC? Was it then?

Oh, the Victory Fund?

No.

I started working with the Victory Fund in 2000— let's see, 2005 is when I received my job offer. And then, you know, it took off from there in terms of that part of my career. I loved working at the Victory Fund. I have served on the board there. I am still very active with the organization. And it is a great group that is nonpartisan. I tell people all the time. It is about having people at the table with different voices that need to be heard.

Mm-hmm. Something I wanted to— that is going to relate back to this, is that a very sad thing happened. The NAACP issued a warning to African Americans and people of color when they're traveling in Florida. This was just released. This is like when the State Department releases, don't go to Iran or Iraq. You know, if there's a problem.

I mean, it's terrifying. You know, it's terrifying that we have to live that way. And I think about, you know, friends who live in Florida, or folks who are in Florida a lot. And yeah, it's a really, really, really scary time. I think that if you talk to people behind the scenes, whether it's in the disability community, LGBTQ, et cetera, et cetera. People are scared. You know, people are genuinely scared. And what I say in response to that, which is not necessarily encouraging, but nor do I really want it to be because I want people to be shaken into action, is I tell people we should be scared because things can get worse. And if history has taught us anything, it is that things can get worse. And so we have got to be unified as a community supporting communities of color, supporting members of the disability community who are also members of communities of color, LGBTQ, etc., because they are, you know, this is not just about folks disagreeing with who we are. This is about people wanting to erase us from society and to erase what we have stood for, our memories, our community. I mean, it is all on the chopping block.

Yeah. No, it, it definitely can get worse because it is worse. I mean, I grew up—

Exactly.

I grew up in the '60s. You know, I, I grew up in the '60s, so I got to live through the civil rights movement. You know, all of everything that happened, all of it, starting from women's movement to, uh, you know, the gay community and the protest and what happened. I never in a million years would think we'd be going backwards.

And we are now, right?

I mean, it's sad. That's why it isn't like that everywhere. And I'm not trying to be the bearer of bad news because I am always the optimist, and there is more good than there is bad. But, you know, I just want to say why we have to stick together and be a community is that that's what keeps us strong. And that's what keeps us safe, because then everyone knows what's going on in different places and different areas. And it's the same thing in the disability community. You know, you can't fight ableism if you don't know what's going on, you know, in Alabama versus Florida or whatever it is. So we do, we do have to, uh, we have to stick together. That's the only way. And we have to care for our brothers and our sisters. You know, love your neighbor as yourself. I believe that. That is my mantra. Love your neighbor as yourself. And we all have to do that. And you know what, Jason? Not everyone becomes an advocate the way you did, you know, like with the Victory Fund. But I know you do a lot to help members of the gay community. You and your husband Drew. What, what made you do that? What, why do you do that?

Well, I would say for really a few key reasons. Some of them are selfish, some of them aren't. One is it's the most cathartic experience I know how to have is by helping other people come out or, you know, deal with whatever problems that they are having. Because I was fortunate enough to have some of those people in my life early on. Not many, but a few who really stood by me unequivocally. And I think it is really important that young people have that. And I think we forget sometimes because we, you know, we watch stories that are positive, which is good. We need to showcase those as well. But we also see this sort of blanketed message that things are going to get better once you come out. And that is not necessarily true. And that is what I was trying to get across a bit earlier. So I feel like it is important for someone like me to be there to help educate, to help, you know, people sort of come to where they are and to blossom into, you know, the person that they need and want to be. So I would say it was cathartic is the first thing. I would say secondly, I find mentorship in the, in the LGBTQ community to be so important. We don't have a lot of mentors. And that's not necessarily because the community has done anything wrong. It just means it needs to be something that we focus on a little bit more. And I, and I also remind people all the time, you know, this is a community that lost millions of people to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. And that includes people who could have been mentors, would have been mentors, artists, musicians, legal professionals, doctors, actors. I mean, we lost an entire generation. And so, it's important that for those of us who are here, who don't have to, you know, worry about, you know, an epidemic every single day taking one of our friends or our family members, which is what people, you know, used to live like, or used to live under. I think it enables us to take on these mentorship roles and understand how powerful our community really is, and to pay homage to leaders who have, you know, come before us. I think that is really important.

Joyce Bender: Yes. And you know my mentor. Is Tony Coelho, who soon will be speaking right here in Pittsburgh, my headquarters. Best city in America, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Yes, I have to say it. Ready? Home of the Pittsburgh Pirates. You know I have to say that. But, you know, we all do need mentors, and I just want to say, do you know it is people from the gay community that have been incredibly supportive of me and the work that I do. Really supportive.

So, well, it's because you're so supportive, you know. I mean, you're a lead ally and you're a great example of the kind of people we need, you know, leading this discussion. I mean, you know, so you're an integral part of the community, I think.

And I'm honored to be so. So Jason, you made that decision that I did, and oh my goodness, what a hard— this is another hard decision. That is to become an entrepreneur, because I always tell people, okay, you want to be an entrepreneur? This is like 24/7. This is all the time. You're thinking about your business all the time, and You're dealing with legal, finance, marketing, everything. You're doing it all. So, and it, to me, it's the most rewarding thing. I love it, but it is not easy, especially when you first get started. So knowing all of that, Jason, what made you decide to be an entrepreneur?

Oh, well, that's, that's a good question. So, you know, my father was a small business owner. And I never thought of following sort of in those footsteps. But what happened, you know, after I finished my time working at the Victory Fund, I started thinking about, you know, what does the next sort of stage in my life look like? Because part— and I encourage us all to think broad when it comes to this— part of what I had been doing is I had been fully immersed in the LGBTQ community, right? Especially right after I came out, the work I was doing, the friends I had, establishments I was going to, etc., etc., etc. And part of me knew that while being gay is a huge part of my life, it's not the only part of my life. And I wanted to tap into those passions and interests And that allowed me to do so through, you know, a consulting firm. And so we have adapted our work over the years. You know, we do a lot of events. Thanks to you, we have got some great clients that we work with around virtual events and in-person events. You know, we also try to secure, you know, well-known advocates for different causes that we are involved in. But But I think in terms of wanting to be an entrepreneur, to your question, it was more around wanting to find out who I really was and what I had to offer. And I feel like if I didn't, if I wasn't going to branch out, I was never going to find that answer. So because I did branch out, look, you know, 12 years later, you know, I started with AAPD as our first client and AAPD is still our client. And I think about, you know, groups we worked with, tackling immigration equality and, you know, the work we do with the Elizabeth Dole Foundation to support military and veteran caregivers. Like, we're a part of some really amazing discussions and movements that are happening. And so, I just feel, you know, grateful that we have the opportunity to do it.

Wow. Well, I'll tell you what, take a moment, Jason, and tell everyone about MITA Associates.

Sure. Thank you. Yes, so founded the organization 12 years ago. I am pretty honest about this for anyone who asks. I had no inkling what I was doing when I started consulting. I thought I would do it for maybe a few months to sort of hold me over until I knew what I wanted to do next full-time. And then, of course, 12 years later, here we are. We're not a big company. We're small, but we're a company that's stayed together in terms of our individuals and leadership since the beginning. But, you know, some of the work we do, like, we can put together a 50-person sort of corporate roundtable, if you will, for, you know, different causes, for organizations who, you know, want to spread the word and expand their list of advocates. We do that. We'll do, you know, 1,000-person in-person dinners. We'll do, you know, big virtual events like we just did for AAPD. And, you know, that's kind of the bulk of what we do. But we'll take on other things as well that are holistic within a scope of work. So a lot of folks will hire us to do events soup to nuts. And what I mean by that is when you hire us, you know, we literally take over everything. You know, the idea is that we run, run everything soup to nuts, obviously with the client being engaged along the way, but, um, really coming in and owning things. Because what I like to say to people is two things. One, I, I don't make many promises because I, I don't, I don't necessarily think promises are a good thing, especially if you can't keep them. But one promise I make to folks is that you will be stronger stronger than you were when we found you. Like, there's no, you know, that's an absolute guarantee. And then the other guarantee that I make to folks is that we will become a part of your team and an extension of your team, not consultants. Because I think of us very much, the organizations we work with, I feel like we're a part of the family. I feel like we're a part of the staff. And that's really, again, how we sort of make a difference, I think, in a unique way because we don't view ourselves as, you know, consultants out there doing our own thing. We view ourselves as members of these organizations.

Well, you are right on that you're not like a consultant. So that you all know, Jason is on a retainer with my company, Bender Consulting Services, and our not-for-profit, the Bender Leadership Academy. And he is not like, uh, an outside vendor. He is like part of our family, uh, and I will endorse him to anyone. So if you do have any special events, uh, gala dinner, uh, round 50-person business meeting, roundtable, whatever it would be, you can't go wrong with MIDA Associates, first class. I've never been disappointed. And I also can't believe I've known you 12 years because that's when you said you started with AAPD, and that is where I met you. Boy, time goes fast, doesn't it?

I remember the day I met you vividly because I was in the conference room at the old AAPD office building, and I knew I was going to meet you because leadership at the time and said, you know, Joyce Bender is on board, she's going to come through. And within 5 minutes, we started talking about all these different people that you were going to get to support the gala, and you did. And so, um, it was kind of, you know, our first interaction. I got to see you, see you in action, which was great.

Yes, and that was it. We've been friends ever since. And you— isn't it something you start with a disability group, AAPD? Amazing.

Yeah, it's amazing. It is, because you never know, you never know where this is all going to take you. And, you know, you and I have obviously talked about this, but it's taken me a long time to come to terms with being a member of the disability community. I have been a member of the gay community for over 20 years now, so that is kind of, you know, taken care of. It is what it is. But becoming a part of the disability community as a member of the community is different, and it is harder. And it is, you know, it is accepting. It is accepting it and sort of not only accepting it, but owning it. And I think one of the things that you all do and that I get to be a part of, which is great, is through the Bender Leadership Academy and the Not Ashamed campaign, we're really bringing together voices from across the spectrum who can talk about how there is nothing to be ashamed with regard to a mental or psychiatric disability. That these are all things that members of the community go through, but we've got to create safe spaces for people to be able to do this. And that is one of the great sort of connectors I see between the disability community and the gay community is gay community still needs to provide safety for people who are coming out. And not only safety, but tools and resources. And, you know, what, what happens when I come out? Like, what do I do? Like, who do I go to? What if I do not know anyone? What if I, What if I don't have supportive parents? What if I don't have supportive family members at all? We need to ask ourselves these questions. And I think that's true around mental illness and psychiatric disabilities, is understanding that every single person needs to be supported on that journey. And that's not always an easy thing to do. And we need to make sure we're prepared to do it.

Yes, I agree. And you know what, you're not the only person I've talked to about this, that it was almost harder for them to come out as, yes, I have a mental health disability, than yes, I am from the LGBTQ community. And there's stigma toward both. Both things have—

still, absolutely.

However, it's different with, I have a mental health disability, because people that are, uh, straight do not like to say they have a mental health disability. Why do you think that is? Uh, why, why do you think that's harder for some people than saying I am a person who is gay? Why do you think that?

Uh, great question. Um, again, You know, that is my answer. You will probably get answers from different people, different answers from different people. But I think the stigma around mental health is in some ways stronger than it is for LGBTQ people. Now, that does not mean that it is an easy slice and dice in terms of talking about the two, because part of this is regional. You know what I mean? Like, if you come out in Florida today, in the panhandle of Florida, not a safe space to come out. Not a welcoming space to come out. Right? But you might come out in a place like New York or Pittsburgh and, you know, receive that kind of support. So I think that that right there is scary for people who want to disclose that have a mental health or psychiatric disability. I think the other part, if I'm just being completely blunt and politically incorrect, as much as people want to say publicly that mental health and psychiatric disabilities, that those are not held against people in terms of employment or any other situation, we know that that's not true. We know that the stigma, right? Like, we know the stigma is still there. So I think we do ourselves a disservice if we, if we try to convey that this has somehow improved dramatically. It hasn't. The only thing that's happened, which is good because it's a step in the process, is that people are starting to disclose that they do have a mental health or psychiatric disability, but You know, again, it's not always apples to apples, but in terms of the gay community, you know, coming out, there is a network of support. There's a path toward acceptance. But coming out with a mental health or disability, I think for a lot of people, they don't know where to go to, not only for treatment, but just for community, just to feel safe. And one of the reasons I talk about my psychiatric disability is I'm a very privileged person to be able to have the life that I do, that I get to do work that I love, to get, get to work in a place like Washington, D.C. I've overcome a lot, and I feel it's my responsibility to be honest about that because here's the truth. If you're 25 years old and you're just in your first or second job out of college, this is not going to be something that you feel like you can disclose at work or feel like you can disclose and get the support that you need. For someone like me, in my mid-40s, who owns my own business, it's a lot easier for me to say, "Hey, I have a psychiatric disability." So I think we've got to acknowledge that this is a region-by-region kind of conversation.

Yes. Yeah. We need to be there for each other. It's funny, I'm probably the only person that people will meet that when I meet someone, well, first, if they say they have epilepsy, I say, "All right, you have epilepsy, you're in my club." Because of course, you know, I have epilepsy. And if they say they have any disability, including mental health, I'll say, "Oh, this is awesome. Now I can hire you." because at my company we only place people with disabilities. And people will say to me, oh, no one has ever been excited that I had mental health disability. And that is because there is such shame. And if you think it's bad here, folks, you heard how I travel around the world. It is horrible in some parts of the world. Horrible. And the same thing being gay, uh, but mental health, oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. Well, I'm glad we have you as one of our advocates, Jason. Uh, but we are this month celebrating Pride Month. I want to know what everyone can do, uh, from the straight community, people who are not gay, What can everyone do to be supportive? For example, people living in Florida right now. Oh my God, terrible, terrible, terrible. You know, what can we do to help those people living in Florida? Or what can we do anywhere? What can allies do? What can we do?

It is a great question, and thank you for asking it. I go back to, you know, I do not know that this is completely accurate anymore, but go back to, you know, Tip O'Neill and all politics is local. And I believe that is true for the gay community and the disability community as well. All of these conversations are local. And that is why it is so important to be involved in community. So a few things people can do as our straight allies. One, if you have a, if you have an LGBTQ person in your life, make sure you reach out to them in June. Tell them how much you love them. Tell them how supportive you are and how, how, and ask them, ask them and say, how can I be supportive? Because the truth is you're going to get different answers from different people and that's okay. But what's, what, what I don't think is an answer, if I'm being honest, is to say, hey, "Here is one organization. Go support that organization." Because there are, you know, hundreds of organizations throughout the country that are worthy of support. I do think that when you, when you think about Florida, I would encourage people to research Equality Florida, as well as Save, Save Dade Miami, which are two LGBTQ organizations, at least that I know of, and sort of see what they're doing in terms of volunteering and access. The other thing that I think every straight person can do, which is an easy thing to do, is start a Facebook fundraiser for a local LGBTQ organization. Like, just do something simple. It could be, like, for example, talking about Pittsburgh Pride and like organizations that are involved in development of that. You know, go on Facebook, start a fundraiser, and try to raise a $2,000, try to raise $2,500, whatever you can. But overall message on my part is connect with people who are part of the community first and foremost. Ask them what they need, what you can be doing. And then, you know, use every opportunity you can over social media to remind people that this is a community that we have to continue to support. I say I say it all the time, and again, I do not care if it is politically incorrect. I am all about telling the truth. We would not have the equality that we do have today as a, as a community, as the LGBTQ community, without our straight allies. It would not happen. And any, and all you have to do is go back and look at how legislation was passed, or how certain legislation was defeated. Yes, the gay community was you know, front and center and always leading the charge. But we did not do it without straight allies. We had to have straight allies. So I think, you know, doing as much of that and talking to people in your community is important. What I do not recommend people do is latch on to a national organization. There is nothing wrong with that, but I think you will find you will make more impact if you stick to your local community and what the community needs.

I think that's great advice. I think that is truly great advice, uh, because that's where it's more one-on-one. Uh, and Jason, yeah, that's right, you brought up Not Ashamed. Well, you are helping manage the Bender Leadership Academy Not Ashamed campaign, which is part of the Mary Brocker Mental Health Community. And I wanted to ask you, how, how do you think that's going? Do you enjoy doing that? Tell me your opinion about it.

Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I, I don't know if the word is enjoy. I think the word is more fulfilled. You know what I mean? I feel extremely honored and fulfilled. That we get to be a part of this campaign, especially one that remembers Mary, you know, who's not gone. You know, she lives with us every day, her memory and her passion and her joy. And to be a part of it in this way is so important. I also think that one of the things that I do enjoy working on around the campaigns outside of just being fulfilled through the work, is you get to hear messages from people who don't even know one another. And to me, that's actually one of the signs of social progress. When you've got people who don't know one another, but who are saying the same thing, and they're doing that literally on their own, that's pretty im— special and important. You know what I mean? To be able to say that, you know, this is something I'm a part of. I'm a member of the community. I have a mental health disability, et cetera, et cetera. So I think the campaign is extremely fulfilling. I think the campaign will continue to build over time. It's not something that, you know, we're gonna do for a year and then quit. It's something that we're gonna just continue to do year after year after year. And we have gotten some big names involved. You know, we have gotten grassroots supporters. We have got members of Congress. We have gotten, you know, celebrity advocates, musicians, etc. So we are just getting started in some ways around the campaign. I think that, you know, we launched the campaign during the pandemic, which was the right time to do it, but it also, you know, kept us from doing some of the outreach we wanted to do in terms of, you know, physical connection, you know, having people film on-site kind of like we did future event in December in D.C. So there is a lot of work to do here, but it is such fulfilling work. And anyone who has ever worked with the Bender Leadership Academy staff, I mean, you talk about salt-of-the-earth kind of people and good people, and that all starts with you, Joyce, and your leadership, and, you know, working under you. So it is a, it is a really wonderful just, it's a wonderful thing to work on.

Well, thank you, uh, Jason, but you're biased because I'm Mama Bear. That's, that's why you're biased. Um, okay, so, so listen, I want to tell all of you, uh, Mary Brocker was very close to me, and it's a miracle I'm even able to say this much without my usual crying, uh, because she died August 10th, 2021. And it is without a doubt like the worst thing that ever happened to me, ever. But Mary lived with clinical depression for 40 years, and she was a dynamo. She was a force of nature. There is no one that is like her or ever will be like Mary. She was a ball of fire, a ball of joy, but she specifically wanted to help young people living with mental health disabilities. And so came the Mary Brocker Mental Health Initiative, where the Bender Leadership Academy works with high school students with disabilities and prepares them for the world of work and dealing with bullying and public speaking and Jared Community Engagement. As a matter of fact, Valerie Jarrett allowed us to use her name for the Jared Community Engagement where we're teaching these high school students with disabilities how to vote. So important, how to vote. And of course, First Lady Michelle Obama has the When We All Vote, and that foundation Valerie is the chair of the board. So it is at that Bender Leadership Academy. Oh, I love these kids, love them. Many of them have mental health disabilities. So #NotAshamed is high school students with disabilities, as Jason said, celebrities, people in Congress, business people, advocates saying, "Hi, my name is," Joyce Bender. I live with epilepsy and I support high school students living with mental health disabilities, not ashamed. You need to do that. You go to benderleadership.org and it will tell you how to do the video for us, which guess what, it's like 30 seconds on your smartphone. So that we can include you in this great campaign that doing. vendorleadership.org, the Mary Brooker Mental Health Initiative, the Not Ashamed, hashtag Not Ashamed campaign. The— we want to keep building that up so that we are helping people to not be ashamed. And you shouldn't be ashamed when you're living with a disability. You should never be ashamed. That's called disability pride. Disability pride. So Jason, what advice do you have for any young high school students, uh, young men or women in the LGBTQ community, and they also have a mental health disability, who right now are facing shame, and even the will to live. What advice do you have for them?

Well, the first thing that I would say is that not only do you deserve to be open and honest about who you are and what you're struggling with, you, you deserve to be happy. And I want people to hear that. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a full and fulfilling life. You deserve friends. You deserve family. You deserve a good job. A lot of times, I think for those of us who have had to live in the shadows, we internalize a lot and we make it our own fault. For years I would use my sexual orientation as something that, you know, held me back, or that I was going to allow to hold me back because of where society was. And once I finally realized— and this was from watching other people who had sort of come before me— once I realized that my power actually rested in my diversity and in myself, who I am, then I took control of it, and then I was able to harness it. And that harness is— you harness that, here is the thing. It impacts every level of your life. It impacts your job. It impacts, you know, your romantic relationships. It impacts everything. So what I would say to everyone, especially, you know, for folks in high school who are dealing, you know, being LGBTQ, coming out and also, you know, having a mental health or psychiatric disability, I would say own it. Own who you are. Be proud of who you are. And remember, you deserve to be happy. And say that to yourself. If you have to say that to yourself 10 times, you know, in the mirror each day, then do it. But you deserve to be happy. And you deserve You deserve equality. You deserve equity. You deserve social justice. And guess what? Everyone else does too. So you remember that, and you remember how strong you are. And also reach out. Reach out to community. You know, if you are, if you are struggling, reach out to anyone that you feel like you can talk to. If you cannot find someone to talk to, you know, visit us at Bender. We may not have exactly, you know, the right answers for you, but we can try to be a bridge to finding community for you and to finding, you know, people who can be supportive. But again, like, own who you are, love who you are, and just remember you are entitled to all the happiness in the world.

I concur 100%. And you should listen. If you cannot find anyone that will listen, Joyce Bender leadership, there's a contact page, and we will get— absolutely— and Jason will get back to you if you're going through something like this. Remember, you are important, and every day when you get up, you start either thinking, I'm not— I'm gonna have a terrible day, or, hey, I'm not ashamed of who I am. And I know this— you're thinking, that sounds easy for you to say, and I realize that. But I also know you're worth a lot. You have a lot of value. So, this would probably be that month, you know, Pride Month in June. This is probably the month where you should go out to the local community to meet people and make friends. Don't you think? What do you think about that, Jason?

Yeah, I mean, Pride Month is a great opportunity to reach out. The one thing I would say, though, that I think is important for people to remember from a historical context, is Pride began as a protest. You know, it was a protest in response to a lot that was happening against our community. I love that it has become a celebration. I think it is great. Nothing— I mean, that is all good. But what I would say is this is our time to fight. This is our time to fight back. So if you, if you have that in your spirit, whether it is you fighting for yourself or a family member, loved one, etc., get out there and do the work. Be a part of the community. And remember that we are all in this together. We have to be in this together. If we are not in this together, we are not going to make it. But, you know, Pride started off as a protest. So when you go out there, you remember that. It is not just about the floats and the parades and all the fun stuff. All of that is great. Trust me, I love it too. But you just remember, you are also protesting for your rights.

Yes. And that is so powerful. And you have power. And thank you, Jason. I cannot believe we are already at the end of the show. It went so fast. But that is because we had Jason Maida, Maida Associates. Thank you, Jason, for being with us.

Thank you, Joyce. It was, it was an honor. And, you know, thank you, thank you for having me on. It was, this was made my day for sure.

And, and you know, everyone, you can share this podcast by going to Spotify, Apple, all the social media venues, Disability Matters with Joyce Bender, on voiceamerica.com, or go to benderconsult.com or voiceamerica.com and share this share this show with someone that you know. It would really help. Every show we end with a quote, and today that quote is, "How can people change their minds about us if they don't know who we are?" said Harvey Milk. This is Joyce Bender, America's Voice, where disability matters at Voice America.com. Talk to you next week as we are celebrating Pride Month, and in Mary Brocker's words, remember, choose joy.

Voice America would like to thank you for tuning in. Please join us next Tuesday at 11 AM Pacific time and 2 PM Eastern time for another installment of Disability Matters, right here on the Voice America Variety channel.

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