Sadie Restivo: Executive Director of PAAR Discusses How Organization Has Served Pittsburgh Community for over 50 Years

Welcome to Disability Matters with your host Joyce Bender. All comments, views, and opinions expressed on the show are solely those of the host, guest, and callers. Now the host of Disability Matters, here's Joyce Bender.

Hey everyone, hi, welcome to the show. Oh my goodness. Oh my, guess what? This is show 1,000, the 1,000th episode. Like, I feel like I'm a TV show, you know, when they'll be saying episode 500, episode whatever. This is 1,000. Do you know why? Because of you. Yes, my great listeners. I am giving you a round of applause. You are awesome. Can you believe it? All of you. Oh my God, you're all so awesome that you have stayed by me and supported me all these years. I can't thank you enough. And that goes through for the countries around the world, from Australia to Russia, Germany. Germany, you've been number one with the most listeners, but this goes out to all of you. And hey, Richard Roberts in Brazil. Can you believe it, Richard? Love you so much from the embassy in Brazil. And Gangyang Cho from the embassy in South Korea. And really all of the countries I've been to, all of you are just such great supporters. I can't thank you, uh, enough, all of you. And hey, Yoshiko Dart! Oh my God, Yoshiko, it's 1,000 episode! And Yoshiko is the wife of the late, great Justin Dart, and He was a giant. He still is a giant in the civil rights movement. Do you know that he and Yoshiko went around the country 5 times before the ADA was signed, just meeting with people with disabilities, meeting with groups saying, uh, come on, support the ADA. And you know, one night he was a Jeopardy question, so that shows you how famous he is. But there's a problem. You know what the problem is? If you went on the streets today and you would mention different people in history, you know, Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, you know, all of them, all these historic figures, and say, "Do you know who that is?" Most people, hopefully, would say, "Yes, I do." But no one, unless it just so happened you met a person, knowledgeable of disability rights would know who Justin Dart is. But I'm telling you every show. So, uh, Sadie, I have done this every show for years. My shout out to Yoshiko. So Yoshiko, this is 1,000th episode, and I know without seeing you, you have a big smile on your face. Also, I've got to talk about Highmark. Highmark really helped get me here because they have not only stood behind me from when I started Bender Consulting Services, a for-profit company that would focus on the competitive employment of people with disabilities. You know, we found employment for thousands of people with disabilities across the United States. If you are a person with a disability, you know, get in touch with us at benderconsult.com. If you are a company that wants to include all talent, benderconsult.com. But you know, Highmark's who I went to to help me get started, and guess what? It was 30 years ago. This is my 30th anniversary of You know, what we've been doing all these years, and at the same time, they are the lead sponsor of this show. So that's why I said that about Highmark. David Holberg, Karen, Deb Rice, all of them fantastic. Larry Kleinman, Carolyn Daronio. I could go on and on, McMalik forever. But you know, you are all awesome leaders. Thank you for your support and all the leadership at AHN. Veronica, thank you. So I have, I feel, a treasure as a guest today. I so look up to her. And I actually, she doesn't know this, but I have for quite a while because I am such an admirer of the work that she does Um, and you will see why in a few minutes. She is the executive director of Pennsylvania Action Against Rape, which goes by PAAR. P-A-A-R. PAAR. I assume it's paar.org.

It's paar.net.

paar.net. So you can go to paar.net and make a contribution while you're listening to this show. But who I'm talking about is this rock star, Sadie Restivo, and she is the CEO at PAR. And Sadie, welcome to the show. I am thrilled to have you on Show 1000.

Thank you, Joyce. I am ecstatic to be here, and I can't believe it's Show 1000. How lucky.

Hey, it's you! You're on that day. Um, so Sadie, for our listeners not only in the United States but around the world, would you mind sharing your story? Like, who you are, where did you live, your education, something just to share about you with our listeners? Sure.

Uh, thank you again for, for having us. It's so important that we're able to share the story of survivors and the work that we do here in Allegheny county and quite frankly across all of Pennsylvania. Again, my name is Sadie. I am the executive director here at PAR. I grew up in a small town called Charleroi, Pennsylvania, which is in Washington County. My parents both worked for the union. My dad was the president of Utility Workers Union. He was a lineman when I was young and then got more involved in the union. So when I sort of, it was always around politics and always around, you know, the roots of being from a working-class family. And when I decided to go to college, I wanted to study political science. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew that growing up the way I was raised, I wanted to help people. I wanted to follow in the footsteps of trying to do the right thing, trying to speak up for people who maybe didn't have a voice. And so I got into politics when I graduated. My first boss was now past U.S. Senator Bob Casey, who was a phenomenal human being at the time. He was our auditor general and taught me a lot about— taught me a lot about life, taught me a lot about working in, in government and how to work in good government, how to, you know, work with both sides no matter no matter what your party affiliation was and how to really get, get things accomplished. I worked in politics for a long time after that and finally decided I needed a break and went on to the nonprofit world and found my way here to PAR where I started out as the Director of Development and raised the necessary funds to keep our services free of charge for anyone who comes to see us. And here I am today, 8 years later, still really loving this work and at a really critical time to be doing this work and keeping our message out there and keeping our services available. And I have a son, his name is Atticus, and he is 12.

As soon as I hear that, I think of To Kill a Mockingbird. That's where it came from. But wow, what a story. May I just say, and my listeners in the United States, they all know this, Senator Bob Casey, our champion. It was a sad day when he was not reelected because he was our leader. I mean, he still is, but when he was in Senate, that is who carried the torch for people with disabilities and many other groups. But he's just all around just a Good man. Just a— I remember, I have to tell my listeners, the very first time years ago that I had lunch with him, he said he was going to meet me for lunch. Oh my God, he's going to meet me for lunch. And I'm thinking, huh, where will we go with the senator? And I'm thinking he's going to choose, you know, I'm not a member of the Duquesne Club, but I'm thinking, but he could get us in there. Or Press Club or, you know, one at some big time, you know, he called me PF Chang's. I thought, what? I'm going with the senator to PF Chang's. Then I'm so nervous. What if someone like mobs him or something? But that's just how he is. He's a very kind man.

He is one of the kindest and has the kindest family. And I really am being honest when I say he taught me a lot himself. I mean, I started out as an intern, and it was a very small race when he was running for state treasurer, and I learned a lot from him personally, and I will carry that with me forever.

Yeah, he was a— well, that was, that was a treasure to you to have worked with him. Well, I don't I don't think the people, enough people, even in Pittsburgh, Western Pennsylvania, know the history of PAAR. Do you go by PAAR? Is that what you—

we do.

Okay. Uh, for example, wow, you're over 50 years old. Uh, and, and I did not know, you know, I didn't know until I did research here that you were like the first victim service agency in Allegheny County. And I know that was 1972, but my question is, how did that happen? Like, what happened that got some people together to do this very important thing?

Sure. Well, we were founded in 1972, and according to, um, a few of our founders, um, the center was a result, um, following the rumors of rapes after the Pittsburgh Pirates win over the Baltimore Orioles in the 1971 World Series. Um, this was also, I think, a time when sexual assault was largely ignored and misunderstood in our society. Um, this group of incredibly brave and forward-thinking women came together because they saw a silence and a stigma around at the time, you know, sexual assault, and decided enough was enough. You know, these early feminist leaders, three that very much we talk about often, Joanne Evans Gardner, Ann Pride, and Phyllis Weatherby, you know, they really wanted to create a space where survivors could be believed, supported. And this was a time when, you know, these women were not doing this. They weren't paid to do this work. This was a volunteer job. This was creating a true grassroots organization, you know, that came together, probably started in someone's living room talking about how do we, how do we empower these women? How do we give people a place to feel safe? And, and still what we talk about today, the biggest stigma we have is immediately off the bat, people do not want to believe survivors. And I think it was the same in the '70s as it is now. And I think these women were just really, really brave and spoke out and created something that is still with us today. I mean, we have our office in the South Side. We are in a mortgage-free building, which is very unlikely for a lot of nonprofits, especially one that was started in the '70s. I am grateful every budget year that we don't pay a mortgage. And that was all due to the forward thinking of these couple women who, who really set us up for success.

Wow. Isn't that great? Now, something that isn't great and is shocking to me that I'm not understanding here, you know, the impetus. What hap— what do you mean? What happened after the World Series?

Well, I mean, I don't know the exact history of it. When we look back, we do have one of our history books, but I think much like you could, could imagine the same thing that happens now. Any time you bring, you know, a large group of, of individuals together and there's partying and celebrating. And I think back in the '70s when, you know, less than women have now the rights to, you know, stand up for themselves, I think that, again, I don't know the exact history of it, but I know that was one of the the initial, I think, wake-up calls was it's time to do something. Women coming forward and saying, hey, this happened to me, and then what? And really back then there was no, and then what? There was no process. There was no, you know, I will accompany you to the police station and help you through this. I'll tell you what's going to happen next. I don't really think people knew what was going to happen next because people weren't coming forward and saying, hey, this happened to me. And I want a report, or this happened to me and I want something to happen to my perpetrator. I think those were things that back then just were ignored.

Well, why that's hellacious to me is that there are people that were celebrating by sexually assaulting a woman. How terrible that is. Yeah. Thank God for those women that, you know, that did this. Thank God for that. Really, um, we're right to think about that. It's always like, where— what would happen without them? You know, what would have happened?

Yeah. And I think too, it's not only women, it's men and it's children. And it was back then too. It was just creating something that gave people the safe place to, to speak out.

Yeah, I, I Terrible. It wasn't that— because of the work I do in disability, I have this friend I've known forever. You know, she's, I don't know, 70, not sure, but I've known this person forever. And it wasn't till very recently that something happened And that's something that happened, brought back to her how she was assaulted when she was 4 years old. Yeah, 4 years old. And until then, she didn't know. I mean, I'm sure you've heard of this. Absolutely. Uh, you know, happening. But I thought, 4? Oh my God. And how about repressing that?

Sure.

All that. But something happened. And here we are, all these millions of years later, and it all come back to her.

As you know, I mean, trauma is something that is so complex when you think about trauma and how it really affects your brain and your daily life. I mean, trauma is something that can come up anytime. When you were 4, it can be a memory that happens in the blink of an eye and bring up something that you may have not ever remembered before. And PAR is here to help you whether your assault or victimization happened yesterday or whether it happened 25 years ago. There is no time limit on, on the healing process or the processing time.

Well, you are one of the first rape crisis centers in the country. What does that mean and how many are there today?

Sure. Um, we were one of the first rape crisis centers in the country. Um, and really a rape crisis center is a place that offers immediate support, advocacy, counseling, therapy, resources for survivors and for their family members and for their loved ones, significant others who have experienced some form of sexual violence. Um, it's also a hub for prevention education, community outreach, um, a place where we are able to give resources to schools and to companies and trainings. Um, and today there are hundreds of rape crisis centers across the United States, but here in Pennsylvania we have 47 rape crisis centers across the state. So mostly every county has a rape crisis center or has a combination of with a few smaller counties. So 47 right here in the state of Pennsylvania. And I think rape crisis centers are just designed to be a place where people can be heard, validated, supported, and, and just sometimes the first safe place someone turns to after a trauma.

Well, this Sadie is truly a wonderful person and a great leader, and thank you so much for what you're doing for women, children, and men that are sexually assaulted But thank you, you know, like, you're really a voice. You're giving a voice to women, for example, that normally have no voice. So, you know, you're just a wonderful person, and you're an advocate. You know, I'm a disability advocate, but you're an advocate for victims of sexual assault of some time, and I can't think of a better person to have in that role than you. So with that, Sadie, we're going to take a break, and when we come back, we're going to be ready with the news. This is Joyce Bender, America's Voice, where disability matters, at voiceamerica.com. Don't go away, we'll be right back. With Sadie Restivo and my new news anchor. I always say I couldn't get Rachel Maddow, but I did get— yes, Jennifer Mathis! Can you believe it? On the 1,000th episode! Yes! Okay, we'll be right back. We're gonna go to break. Don't go away.

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You're listening to Disability Matters. Now please welcome back the host of Disability Matters. Here's Joyce Bender.

Hi everyone, welcome back. If you just joined us, we're talking to Sadie Restivo, the executive director of Pittsburgh Action Against Rape, known here as PAR. All right, This is it. Get ready. This is the 1,000th episode. Uh, Perijude Ratacik, she has been phenomenal the past 6 years. She is just a wonderful, wonderful person, but she has made a career move, uh, and is working with the Catholic Church. So she is so busy doing good stuff, I don't want to stop that. And I thought, oh, Oh, who can we get? And to my great surprise, I was able to get Jennifer Mathis. Jennifer Mathis. I've got to say it. Ready? It's going to be Mathis on the mic. Jennifer Mathis. Mathis on the mic. And Jennifer is with Basilon. And I'm going to do something different, Jennifer, since we have a little extra time I set aside for you. Would you mind telling everyone a little bit about yourself, what you do, and about Bazelon.

Um, sure. Well, so let me start with the Bazelon Center, which has been around for more than 50 years now. Um, we started in 1972, and back then we were called the Mental Health Law Project. And, uh, we do legal advocacy as well as policy advocacy. We litigate, um, big system reform cases. We Also do advocacy with Congress, advocacy with agencies, public education, lots of different stuff. I think our litigation informs our policy work, our policy work informs our litigation. It's good to be able to do both. I think it makes the work better. And we focus on psychiatric disabilities and also to some extent people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. We've kind of gone back and forth over the years depending on where the greatest needs are, but we, you know, are very much part of the disability community and participate in lots of the disability coalitions. And I started out my time here in 1999, January of '99, so I've been here for a long time, but I had two periods when I left Bazelon to go to the federal government. Once during the Obama administration when I went to go work for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission when Chai Feldblum was appointed a commissioner. I went to go work with Chai. And then during the Biden administration, I served in the Justice Department Civil Rights Division as a Deputy Assistant Attorney General. Supervising the disability rights work, most of it in the Civil Rights Division, and just recently returned to Bazelon Center and happy to be here.

And to now be my co-host for the news, Holly O'Donnell. I know you're listening, so remember, Holly O'Donnell is this most fantastic CEO of Bazelon. She gave me the Mathis on the Mic idea, so you can blame her, but It is time for our news break, so I'm going to turn that over to Jennifer.

Sure, so I thought today I would give a little bit of news about Medicaid because Medicaid is so critically important to people with disabilities. Medicaid is one of the most important programs there is for folks with disabilities. It provides not only healthcare coverage, but also coverage of all kinds of services that people with disabilities need to live in their own homes and communities, including help with housing, help with employment, um, help with getting and keeping a job, um, skill-building help, um, in addition to all kinds of health and mental health services, um, that people need to succeed every day in their own communities. And so there's so many core services in Medicaid that really form the basis for our disability service systems. Medicaid is the primary financer of those. Millions of people with disabilities use something called HCBS, home and community-based waiver services. That includes broad set of services for people who might otherwise be institutionalized to help them live in the community. Instead, and that is a huge priority for our community. Those waivers tend to cover primarily people with intellectual developmental disabilities and people with physical disabilities. There are other Medicaid home and community-based services that tend to be used more by people with mental health disabilities. All of that is incredibly important, and all of that is at risk right now. There have been many conversations in Congress about making very deep cuts to Medicaid. In February, the House of Representatives passed a budget resolution that would require them to cut at least $880 billion in the Energy and Commerce Committee's jurisdiction. That is the committee that covers Medicaid, and what that means is that there would likely have to be hundreds of billions of dollars in cuts to the Medicaid program if what was in that House budget resolution became the law. So the Senate has not embraced that kind of dramatic cut to Medicaid at this point. The Senate has more people that seem to be expressing some reservations, but it's not clear at all where they will end up. So what has to happen is the Senate and the House need to agree on a joint budget resolution before they can move forward with the budget process called reconciliation, where they negotiate and they iron out a final budget bill. What we saw over this past weekend was the Senate passed a resolution, budget resolution that has different spending cuts in the House committees than in the Senate committees. And that doesn't usually happen. Usually the numbers have to match up. But this time they wanted to move forward quickly. So the Senate passed something that they wouldn't usually do that has a lot of flexibility on the Senate side, and it still includes the House is $880 billion in cuts to energy and commerce. So what that means is basically things are wide open. Deep cuts are on the table, deep cuts to Medicaid. We don't really know what kind of Medicaid cuts we will end up with, if any, that we might see in a final budget resolution, but they could be enormous. So the next step that has to happen is the Senate's resolution needs to be adopted by the House, and they're starting on that process this week. And then once there's a joint budget resolution that's passed by both chambers, then they'll start negotiating. So it's really important that people who care about Medicaid call your members of Congress, uh, tell them not to cut Medicaid. There are a variety of ways that Congress might cut Medicaid. They could reduce the rate at which the federal government reimburses the states. They could reduce that rate just for the Medicaid expansion. That was the expansion to Medicaid that happened under the Affordable Care Act that covered lots more people. They could do what's called per capita caps. That means they could say we will only reimburse up to a certain amount of money for each person. They could impose work requirements. They did that not through Congress but just through CMS, the Medicaid agency, the federal Medicaid agency during the first Trump administration issued these waivers of the ordinary rules where they allowed states to impose work requirements, meaning that you could potentially lose your Medicaid coverage if you did not show that you were working or looking for work, engaged in certain activities a certain number of hours a month. And what happened with work requirements— we saw this before— what happened with work requirements is lots and lots and lots of people lost their Medicaid coverage, not because they weren't working, not because they weren't interested in work or looking for work. It was because the reporting requirements are confusing, they're bureaucratic, people got caught in red tape, and you had tens of thousands of people losing Medicaid in states with work requirements that never should have lost Medicaid. And so— that may be on the table again. The Bazelon Center actually just issued an explainer. It's on our website at bazelon.org that talks about how Medicaid work requirements hurt people with mental health disabilities. Same is true for people with all disabilities. So anyway, that is— that could be the form in which Medicaid cuts happen. It could be multiple forms. So it's just important I think that people be in touch with your members of Congress if you care about this. If you are in the disability community, this is something I am sure you care about because Medicaid is so important to all of our folks in the disability community. So please, please, please keep in touch with your members of Congress and tell them how important this is to you and Tell them your stories. If you use Medicaid, if you know people who use Medicaid, need Medicaid to have their services that help them live in their own communities and at home and not in an institution, please make sure that Congress knows how important this is to you.

And Jennifer, you know, I— we want to keep on this and get an update from you as we move on, but here's what I have to say about this. You've got to take that challenge. You've got to get on the phone or online, email, and email, email, email mail congressmen, senators, anyone in your area. How would they find out, Jennifer, who their representative is?

Yeah, so what you can do is you can actually just call the the switchboards at the Capitol. They will direct you to your representative's office if you tell them where you live. So the House switchboard is 202-225-3121, and the Senate switchboard is 202-224. 3121, and they will connect you to the right office.

And I think AAPD has like a letter on their website that you can use to send out. You've got to do this. You have to do it. You've got to do it because that's the only way. We need a massive, massive Response. You know, remember, many of these people are running for office in 2026, and I would be reminding them that you're going to know what they do. It's so important. And so, you know, I've been calling people so many times and they did call me back. But, you know, no matter what, just keep on keeping on. Sadie, what do you think about that?

Well, I think you're right. And I think all my previous work in politics and government, I can say absolutely, just when you think you're being annoying, be a little extra annoying. It is our elected officials' jobs to take our phone calls and to listen to us. They are elected by the people, for the people, and that is what they should be doing regardless of if they believe what you believe or they want to do what you want them to do, it is their job to listen. And I think, you know, we, we are also here at PAR, we're advocating for, um, you know, to no cuts to, to Medicaid and, and to all of these social services that are critical to, to our clients as well. I mean, when we talk about transit and we talk about, um, you know, housing insecurities, these are all these are all things that affect our clients. And you know, you cannot begin to heal from your trauma if the rest of your life is completely out of order. And you know, these social services are critical to, to people with, you know, disabilities, to people, you know, that have, you know, that are struggling mentally, that are struggling financially. They are critical. and it will only get worse if we continue to cut them. So it is our responsibility, I think, to continue to call and advocate for all of these kinds of social issues that are happening and cuts to these very critical programs.

Yeah. And Jennifer, early in her career, Sadie worked for Senator Casey. Oh, excellent.

A great disability champion. Yes, he is.

He was a disability champion. And it still is for all of us. Sadie, I have to— because I want to make sure we get to talk about that. I was literally horrified, uh, when I read on your site that 1 in 4 girls experience sexual assault and 1 in 13 boys in their lifetime. And then I read 66% of sexual assault and rape are at the age under 12 to 17. This really hit me so hard. Really, I mean, it's horrifying. Uh, do children often know who did that and they're just afraid to tell who that is?

I think yes. Um, of course, with children, I think that is, that is probably very true, um, in a lot of instances. I think that, you know, these statistics are, are very heartbreaking and they are very real. And I think that is the first step is acknowledging that these things do happen. You know, sexual violence is very much rooted in power and control. It's not about sex. It's about violating boundaries and explore and exploiting vulnerabilities. You know, research shows us that the majority of children who are sexually assaulted do know their perpetrator, whether that be a family member, a friend, a coach, a neighbor, whoever that might be in their life. The familiarity is often what keeps children silent. They're scared, they're confused, they're afraid, and most times of not being believed. What we talked about earlier, whether you are, you know, an 18-year-old girl, whether you're a 5-year-old, whether you're a 45-year-old, um, our society does not lend itself to being kind to survivors and to initially believing them. The first thing and the most important thing you can do when someone discloses to you is to believe them. And I think we are still not in a place where that comes easy and comes first. The first thing people like to say is, well, are you sure? And that creates an immediate sense of, you know, as a child or as an adult for that matter, you know, you kind of pull back and am I sure? Did that happen? What, you know, you, you question then yourself. And I think that that has to be where we move to. That's a lot of what our prevention work is in schools and, you know, being a good bystander. Joyce Bender, being, being the first person that when someone discloses to you that, that you just open your ears and your mind to listen to them and to say, I hear you, I believe you. Let's think about what the next steps here, here might look like, you know, might look like for you. We do work with many parents and teachers and, you know, trusted adults who reach out after something has happened. Sometimes a child discloses directly, um, and other times it's just a gut feeling that somebody might have. You know, we have many, many mandated reporters in our lives, in our worlds, uh, teachers and, uh, police officers and, um, you know, people in, in the medical, uh, world that are helpers. They are, they are caregivers. They are people who should be noticing the, noticing these things and getting that gut feeling to say something. You know, we help those caregivers navigate through the incredibly difficult conversations. We offer the therapy and the crisis support. And most importantly, we just believe people. That is absolutely the first step.

Yeah. And we had a student from our Bender Leadership Academy. That's the not-for-profit we have that trains high school students with disabilities about the world of work and how to deal with bullying. And we had someone tell one of our staff that, uh, this had happened to them. And when they were telling, it was as if, I think this has happened, I don't know if this counts, or, you know, all. And yes, it did. So we didn't know what to do, so we referred the person to PAR. And I just want to say, you were outstanding. Well, I want to say, if you're listening and you're in Pittsburgh, uh, and, and anything is going on, you've got to call them. I mean, they are top-notch. They are excellent. And they are here to, as Sadie just said, hear your story, support you. And I didn't even know that when, let's say, a woman is sexually assaulted, I didn't realize that someone from your organization was their advocate and went to the hospital with them. And I mean, I just think that is so wonderful. I hope you know when you're listening how important this is. I mean, this is a terrible thing. It's a terrible thing. And we need people to be not only bystanders but support this organization, which is at par.net. P-A-R.net. Okay. So how, how about if you're a parent and you think something is different but you're not sure. What are their signs, uh, when someone has been assaulted?

Sure. I think the first thing I'll remind everyone who's listening is that we do have a 24-hour, 7-day-a-week, 365 helpline that is free and absolutely confidential. You can call that helpline, uh, no matter what, even if you have just a gut feeling, or even if you have a question, or, you know, how might this work, or what services do you have, we have volunteers and staff who answer that helpline 24 hours, 365. That helpline is 1-866-363-7273. The staff and the volunteers, we are still like the, like the women who created this organization in the '70s. Um, we have amazing volunteers who, who, um, who take shifts every single day and help us on that, that helpline, who are trained with 40 hours worth of sexual assault counseling training. So these are people that you can trust, who understand the process, who know how to guide you through the next steps. Some of those things might also just be helping you ground. You might be a survivor, you might already be in therapy and wake up having a nightmare or, or having some, you know, something that is uncomfortable to you, and you just might need somebody to walk you through that for a couple minutes. And all of those things are okay to call that helpline and receive that help. To your question, Joyce Bender, you know, yes, of course there can be signs as a parent or as a caregiver. Things like withdrawal or depression, changes in maybe your eating or your sleeping habits, sudden anger, fear of certain people or places. I think those are, those are reactions that you might take note of as, as someone who is close to a, to a child. But it's important to know that not all survivors show visible signs, and that does not mean that they're not hurting. That does not mean something isn't wrong. You know, a lot of times, you know, the child might be living with the perpetrator, which can be an extremely dangerous and complex situation. We also here at PAR will work with clients in those scenarios with the caregiver, the parents, whoever that might be. We encourage people to reach out when it's safe to do so. That can also mean through our text and chat. It might mean talking to a teacher, a trusted adult, or even through social media. All of those are safe avenues and safe places to, to learn what to do next. And again, the 24-hour helpline is completely confidential support that people should absolutely utilize.

Yeah. What is that again, that helpline?

It is 1-866-363-7273.

And your website is www.par.net. That's where you can make the donation. You can today. Okay. Um, and my other question about that, uh, Sadie, is can someone just call and say they want to talk to someone and you— and everything is kept confidential, right?

We are, um, not— we are mandated reporters, so if there is a child involved, we do have to make a report, um, just like anybody anybody who is a mandated reporter, but anyone can call anonymously and begin to receive some sort of support. What will happen is, should you want to receive services, you— we will take your information from the helpline. You can also just call the office directly, but we will refer you then to our client navigation team who will begin to ask you some questions and really talk through what is it that you're in need of. Maybe it's therapy, maybe it's counseling. We have case managers here who will also help you with some of your, your basic needs, things of a whole spectrum of, of services that we provide. If you are in a situation where you have an immediate need and you have been assaulted and you go to to a a hospital. Um, more than likely, we respond to all 21 area emergency departments in Allegheny County. That hospital— we have a great relationship with all of our hospitals. They will call us, um, and most times they will ask an advocate to come out to the hospital and meet that survivor there. Um, our role in that is to really support that individual as they are going through what is a very traumatic and what has been probably the worst thing in their life. Um, we are there to really help them, ground them, give them support, and also help them through the information of what's going to happen next. Um, you know, do you want to report to the police? These are your rights. You can do some of these things. You don't have to do any of these things. Um, should your clothing be taken into evidence? We are able to supply them with new clothing. We are able to really support them throughout that entire medical situation from start to finish should they want us to be there. And then our advocates will work with them should they proceed into some sort of, you know, law enforcement or court proceedings. That advocate will also stay with that client throughout however long that takes, going to court with them, supporting them supporting them through police interviews, whatever that might look like. We really are with you throughout the whole, the whole time.

Oh, that is so wonderful. That is wonderful. So do you have any other— do you have programs that you want to talk about, Sadie?

Sure. Our prevention and education team is a group of 5 really amazing individuals who support our community and our schools. So as a school district, you can be involved with PAR on numerous different kinds of, of educational programming. We have a program called Coaching Boys into Men that is specifically, our team works with coaches, whether it's high school or college, on all the things we've talked about, right? How to be a good bystander, how to see something, say something. Learning about consent. What we have, we know through work with Dr. Elizabeth Miller at Children's Hospital is that a lot of times these students are closest to their coach. So this is sort of a program where the coach, we kind of coach the coach and they will then take over the programming. So it's not always directly from us, but we are there every step of the way. We also do a program called Project Last Call, which is with our restaurants and bars. We go in and we talk to staff about sexual harassment mainly. And that might mean back of the house sexual harassment. That might mean customer to employee sexual harassment. But really, how do you safely intervene when you see those things happening? And how do you again become a good bystander and stop some of this before, before it happens. So we really do have trainings and it's all listed on our website, what our variety of different programs and trainings can look like. We have trainings for law enforcement officers and for hospital workers. Really every aspect of, of your life, there is something here that PAR can, can help you with.

Oh, that is wonderful. You know, for young women or students in high school listening, what is the age of consent?

In the state of Pennsylvania, the age of consent is 17.

So I am making that clear because I want everyone to understand what that would mean after the age of 17. You would be charged and be a— go on the sexual offenders website. So am I right?

Yes, um, actually I, I'm wrong. I, I, I don't— I, I don't know why I said that. It's actually 16. 16 and older can, can legally consent to sexual activity. So 16 and older in the state of Pennsylvania.

And so what, so what would be the age limit then? What is the final age where after that it's rape?

So anything that is, that is before the age of 16.

Oh, it's 16.

Wow. 16 is the age.

Oh my goodness. Okay. Well, I wouldn't have thought that. That is amazing. Yeah. Oh, well then I hope you're all listening. I hope You listen and remember, no means no. It does.

Right, Sadie? It does.

No.

And I think that is something that, you know, when you talk about consent, whether you're talking about it with your, you know, you can start talking about consent at a very, very young age. When I first got to PAR, my son was really young. And the way that our staff talks about it, it doesn't have to be a scary thing. This is teaching someone very young to ask to hold your friend's hand. Don't just assume, ask, can I hold your hand? Then that grows into, can I give you a kiss? The answer has to be, it has to be yes every time. If it's no, then no means no. You are very right. I think that is something that if we tell our kids that, if we tell ourselves that as adults, that is something that you know, you can't take back. You have the choice to say yes or no, and both parties have to, have to do that.

Well, thank you so much for being with us today, Sadie. Before we end the show, I have to ask you if you could share with our listeners who your role model is.

Well, that's a good question. Um, you know, I've, I've had the privilege of working and learning from a lot of really incredible people throughout my career. People that have inspired me to stand up for what I believe in and to be strong and to really push for change. And that started out with my mom and dad. I'm really lucky to have had parents who pushed me in that direction. But I would say now, You know, it's, it's really the people that I work with. It's, it's the employees here at PAR. It's the survivors. It's the clients that we have. You know, their strength and vulnerability and determination to, to heal is something that even in their worst moments reminds me every day why this work matters. I work with almost 50 other absolutely amazing and incredible individuals who really truly do the hard work here. They're the ones responding to the hospital and going to court, uh, and, and providing therapy services to the almost 3,600 people we see every single year that come through here. And this work cannot be done without them. They are true warriors in this. They take this work home with them. They hear and see things that are unimaginable, yet they show up every single day. And I would have to— I would be remiss if I did not say through all of our conversations how much I appreciate you taking the time to notice our work and to talk about it. And I think for me to really be able to come back and say how much I appreciate their work, and we wouldn't be here without them for the last 52 years. All, all the women and men who have worked at PAR are truly incredible individuals, and my hat is off to them.

Thank you, Sadie. You know, we end every show with a quote, so today it is: We must send a message around the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual violence. The shame is on the aggressor, said Angelina Jolie. In the words of our friend Mary Brooker, when you go out today, remember, choose joy. Talk to you all next week.

Voice America would like to thank you for tuning in. Please join us next Tuesday at 11 AM Pacific time and 2 PM Eastern time for another installment of Disability Matters right here on the Voice America Variety Channel. We are the leader in live internet talk radio. VoiceAmerica.com.