Ty Herndon: Country Music Superstar Discusses Memoir

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Hi everyone, welcome to the show. Here we are, year 22 on the air, and I've got to tell you, Oh my God, I'm so excited about this show today. You're going to be so excited. But first, I have to thank all of you in the Americas, how you follow the show. Uh, if it weren't for you, wouldn't have been on 22 years. And all the countries around the world that have listeners. So I always talk about that number 2 after the United States. And yes, it still is Singapore. And it is growing. So we have Singapore, Brazil, Spain, China, India, Vietnam, Taiwan, Canada, and Japan as the top 10. Top 10 countries with listeners. So what do I always say? There's some countries here, and they maybe only have in Africa where they maybe only have Mozambique and Iran each have one listener. But you know what? One person can make a difference. Oh yes, one person. If you go to enough people and you tell them, hey, you've got to listen to this show, Disability Matters with Joyce Bender, because everyone deserves quality of life. With a disability, you deserve quality of life. And Jessica Dart, special shout out to you. Hi, Mark. Thank you so much for being the sponsor of this show. And now, oh, I'm so excited. I am so excited because I have Ty Herndon on the show today. Ty Herndon. And I want to tell you about Ty Herndon. Ty, do you see what I have on display in my office?

I do. I do.

That's it.

Yes, that's a, that's a, that's a mighty, mighty fine fella right there.

Well, I'm sure you probably know, but if you don't, Ty Herndon is celebrity superstar, Grammy-nominated, Dove Award winner, everything, you know, he's just everything, very famous. And that's why, what an honor that he would take time to be on this show today. I am so excited to talk about his book. Here we go. Ty Herndon's book, What Mattered Most. I want to tell you, this book, I told him when he first got on, I feel like I know him. When you read that book, You are going to feel the same way, and I'm telling you, I'm going to be his new PR book agent. I'm going to be talking about this book on all the shows. I'm going to figure out how to get him to Pittsburgh for a book signing, a big book signing. So I have to figure out where, how, but this book, I mean, wow, you got to buy it. You've got to buy it. And I'm going to have him do a little appearance at the holidays so I can remind you what your holiday a day gift should be. Ty Herndon's book. So there, that's what I have to say. And I want to just, I want to just tell you something about Ty. You all know we have the Mary Brocker Mental Health Initiative. You know, Mary died 5 years ago in a tragic hiking accident. And she's so close to me. She was the president here. Devastated me just devastated. And I know Ty knows what that's like from Wes— what's the name of the person that was real close to you?

Wesley.

See?

Yes, yes.

Right, from your book.

Yes, ma'am.

But I want to tell you what he did, and he didn't even know me that well. What Ty did, we said, hey Ty, Would you mind, um, we, we have an initiative called Not Ashamed. Not ashamed I have a mental health disability. Not ashamed. So would you go to Bender Leadership Academy and just make a 30-second video? And you know what, here we have other people that are nowhere near as famous as Ty Herndon, and we're still having to track them down. Like, immediately he did this. So I'm telling all of you with disabilities, he's the real deal. I'm telling all parents of children with mental health disabilities, no matter what the disability is, this man is the real deal. We've got to get behind him. Everyone's got to buy this book, every one of you, and I'm going to keep pounding it into you on every call. And here we are celebrating Pride Month.

Yes.

And Ty, what can I say? You're awesome.

Well, hello friend, we can start there for sure. It's good to be with you this, this afternoon. I was just, I was telling this wonderful lady that I was in the dentist chair just 15 minutes ago, and I told the dentist, you know, he's so, so nice, I said, I've got a very important date, you need to wrap this up. And so wrapped me up, I jumped in my pickup truck, I was sitting at the red light right here, and I said I said, God, this red light needs to turn green. I need to get to my house. And the red light turned green, and I walked in the front door, pushed the button, and here we are. And, and all timing is beautiful, always.

Okay, thank God he turned that light. That's what I have to say.

Well, you know what, if he hadn't, I'd have been talking to you from my pickup truck, so we would have made it work.

I can tell from this book you always make it work one way or another.

It's certainly true.

Anyway, this book, What Mattered Most, by Ty Herndon. So, you know, my first question is, we already know you have a beautiful voice. I want you to know, the day after I read that book, when I got up, I said, Alexa, play Ty Herndon. So I know what— we know what a beautiful voice that you have.

Goodness gracious.

Thank you. This book. Wow. This book. What did you do? What caused you to decide that you were going to write this book?

Number one, I thought your Alexa went off and I thought sure mine would too. So I unplugged her beforehand because she knows she never— I was waiting on mine as well. You know, I was— the great David Ritz, who is my co-author on this book, Um, you know, he found me, uh, through a, uh, through a really rough time that was talked about in People magazine. And with all the authors that I've talked to up to this point, they've all had one common story, and it's been, you don't chase a book, the book finds you. And that's exactly kind of— that's exactly what happened. And, um, and when the book found me, um, I was often sitting with David going Is this just a book about my accomplishments? Is this a book? How far do I go with this? And when you're working with someone like David, who's done the Aretha Franklin story, the Willie Nelson story, the Rolling Stones, he was such an encourager. And I found myself having to excavate, just hire an excavation crew just to get down deep enough into rooms that I absolutely did not want to talk about. Um, but those were the, what I call now the freedom rooms, because no matter what we're going through in life, we cannot bury things so deeply that it, that it, that it, it causes a trauma in your, in your DNA that can be as, as bad as any cancer. Um, and so navigating those rooms and, and finding peace in them and actually being very surprised at what I, when I when I did find the key and open the door, being very surprised at what I did find. Um, and this journey is all in these pages. And it's been said that this— one of my favorite movies is, um, is two, is Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes. And this book is absolutely those movies and add a touch of the Kardashians in there. And you've got what mattered most.

Well, no, that's true. I mean, though, that had to be hard to get started?

You know, it, it was, it was a lot of, actually a lot of fun in the beginning, walking through the camp meetings and the Tabernacles and the, and the church, just starting in my grandmother's living room and just, you know, a really beautiful non-judgmental atmosphere to grow up in, uh, with some strong women around me that are, that still live in me today. Um, but getting further into addiction, mental health and into the places that actually made me human and actually are the best parts of me today. My scars are my stars. I want you guys to remember that. Your scars will always be your stars. They make up who you are, whether it's a disability or a handicap or mental health. You know, getting a handle and taking a stand for yourself is always the number one, the bravest thing you can do. And it is not the easiest thing. That you can do, but it is the most rewarding. Every day in our own household with my husband and I, we go through challenges, you know, but we face them. And I think in the America, in the world we live in today, as my mother-in-love, we don't say mother-in-law, we say mother-in-love in my family, she always likes to say, "There's gonna be a tentacle of evil trying to get through your front door. Make sure you got some good anointing oil." Oh, I know that.

I know about that. Yeah, like Ty, I grew up in the First Pentecostal Church. I go to a non-denominational, non-denominational church now. Do you still go to that church, The River? Is that what it's called?

The River has— has— I will never say it's closed its door because I don't believe when a church closes a door that the church goes away, because the church lives in the people. Um, I always say this to young folks that I'm mentoring and counseling with, um, uh, you are the church. You don't get to be thrown out of your own church. You're in charge of who's in your congregation. You're in charge of filling those pews. And I always say to these young people, may I be a charter member of your church, because all you will find here is God's love and acceptance. And the way that it's— the way that this the way that these— the actual Monet, the beautiful painting supposed to be hung in your church. It's not this paint-by-number crap that people, people are handing you. Um, it's expensive, it's beautiful, it's free. It's all the things that, that make up love. And I mean, I've had some transgender kids, I've had some folks just say to me, ah, you're a charter member, man, I'm building my church today. So, um, my church can be right here in this podcast. My church can be in this kitchen. My church can be my truck, um, the spirit of love. Some people call it Holy Spirit, some people call it just, uh, presence that, that is healing and, and helps you through the good parts and the bad parts. And I think that is, um, the essence of love and the essence of God. Um, I'm not— I don't claim to be some big professor about it. I just go with what I feel. Um, I know that, um, The way I've always felt is through the toughest rooms of my life, you know how a mama puppy carries her puppies from room to room? She just takes 'em by the back of their neck. I feel like God has always had me that way, putting me in and out of situations, but always, always has me. And so whatever you call God, I always say this, even in a mental health situation, it can be a tree, it can be a puppy, it can be anything. That you feel like is bringing joy and bringing healing into your space. And so, you know, there's a lot of that in this book. I start this book out by saying it starts out in a temple, in a tabernacle in Gilbertown, Alabama. But it also says this, you know, as much as I want you to love me, you're going to be so frustrated with me through the halfway through this book, you want to slap me upside the head. But by the grace of God, take the journey with me because there is an enchanted evening and there is a lot of beautiful moments and a lot of laughter, a lot of pain. But it is a book of healing for sure.

Oh, it is. And there you are bringing that book to life about an enchanted evening, one of the chapters. Yes. And by the way, how is Alex?

Alex is wonderful. He's really, really good. He is. He's just, you know, he's a rock. He— as far as good humans go, there's, you know, there just aren't any better in my eyes. And he's just— he's a wise old owl. And he's just, you know, we've got our fur baby, Pipo. He's just— he's 14 years old. He'll probably start barking here in a minute because he always wants a little attention. But, you know, I don't think that I ever thought that I was going to be the guy sitting here talking to this, my lovely friend today, and having a beautiful home and a mortgage and a car payment, car insurance, all the things that we fuss about every day that are truly big blessings. But this is as—

whoo—

as much as we all go through, folks, on a daily basis, there is beauty. And there's love. You just have to open your heart and look your eyes and let it happen. And, uh, I— here I am, Boyd Tyrone Herndon. And do I do that perfectly every day? I do not. But, you know, I strive to find, um, what's beautiful in the day. So speaking of a husband, he just came walking through the camera there. Hi, Alex! Everybody says— he says hi. I think it shocked him. He was taking a nap. He just came around.

He's a very important important part of this book, meaning your life. Yes. Hey, I'll bet when you were at that— after you left that tent meeting, I'll bet you never thought you would be saying, 'And my husband Alex.' No, not in a million years.

And I'd probably— he'd probably say the same thing. But, um, we're happy we get to say it. And these, these things mean the world to us, you know. They're They're a gift not only to each other, but a gift from God. And it represents more than I ever thought that you could hold on one hand. I can tell you that. And so I'm a little shy talking about it in front of him. I never do. But hey, honey, as he's eating cheesecake.

Well, when you, you, and you know, you've done so many great things and I don't know if you realize this. There isn't anything more powerful than saving a life of someone.

Oh my goodness.

You do realize you have with what you talk about, mental health, disability, LGBTQ. I speak about this frequently, but there's suicide, suicidal ideation. Think about it. Those two things.

Yes, ma'am.

Together, you would know very well.

I would.

And, uh, so just think, when you talk, possibly today you have saved lives. I mean, isn't that something?

I love you, number one. And thank you. And I love everyone watching and listening out there. And I love the one listener, um, in, um, I think you said it was Iran. Yes. And it just takes one voice You know, and that voice, I encourage him to go out and find a few friends on this beautiful day and maybe, you know, have a cup of coffee and you guys watch together next time and just find encouragement and love where you can find it. It's not easy. I mean, I don't think anything about this life is designed to be easy much these days. But I'm looking around me right now, you know, as full of challenges that I am. There's beauty in it. And, um, you know, for a guy that didn't cry for many years, you know, you— probably before we get off this phone today, you'll have them flowing for me.

So don't worry, because that's me. So, um, you know, I— how— of course I read about this, but I know from reading the book how you struggled wanting to say that you were gay but then afraid to say you were because of the country music culture, and then that terrible oppression of having to live a hidden life, you know, and what that did to you. And if you read this book, which I know you're going to all go buy that book because I told you to buy it, but you will read the hell that he went through. And that was the cause of a lot of it. So what did that feel like that day when you told the world, "I'm gay"?

Wow.

That press conference you had.

I think I was past the nervousness at that point. I knew that my blood and bones couldn't exist anymore in this shell of a body if I continued to live that way. So I actually was prepared through my dear friend Shelley Wright. She said, "You know, you're going to have to be prepared to maybe even walk away." from your dreams and find new ones. You're going to have to be prepared to maybe walk away from the music business. You just need to be prepared to be okay with whatever happens. And so I think the work that I did around that really set me up through really good friends and counselors just to be okay with the decision that I had made. You know, I've never really liked putting labels on people, you know, and I stand by this today. You know, I hope that one day we live in a world that nobody has to have a letter of an alphabet up next to their name on their birth certificate. You know, I hope that we can live in a place one day that we're just human. My grandmother always said, you put 1,000 hearts on a table, there's no race, color, sex, religion, politics. You see 1,000 beautiful hearts that are exactly the same, and, uh, you point out who's who and you're not going to be able to. And that's the beauty of love. That's the beauty of creation. And that's— I think that's, you know, where I was growing up. It's where I am today. And making that decision on, on, on, on 2014 and flying to New York and sitting down with Entertainment Tonight and Nichelle Turner and, and having it, you know, 5 pages in People magazine, I probably could have just quietly sent an email out. The folks. Um, yeah, but, um, in an industry today where I felt like in country music that it might just make a difference, um, I woke up to over 300 text messages because the news broke early. And then my dear friend Billy Gilman hit send on his own journey. And I, I tell him, I tease him all the time, I'm like, hey, you owe me 10 grand. But then I said, no, you don't owe me any money because you joining me and holding my hand through that experience gave it rocket fuel. And then all of a sudden, what was a beautiful story became a human story about two hearts that really struggled to be in an industry that we loved and to love who we wanted to love and still be able to have a career. And that's worked out. That's worked out really well. And I really appreciate the fans and friends. I don't really like to call them fans much anymore. I just say friends because I feel like we're all in this together. Um, if you're a fan of something, be a fan of this, of this story. Be a fan of the music, because, um, getting to do that has been a gift, and I'm going to continue to do that. Uh, but how did it feel? It was a really, really long way around to this answer. It still feels like it's the best-made suit that God could have given me, because it's me. It's 100% authentically me. And I'll— and because God gave me humor, I will tell you that 2 days after, I walked out to a sold-out crowd, um, and they came to their feet. It was like 3,000 people. I hadn't even sang a note yet. And I walked up to the microphone and I said, well, I guess you guys heard the big news. And you could have heard a pin drop. And I said, I'm a vegetarian. And the place went crazy laughing. And, and then I just said, okay, great, now can we get around to the business of music? And we had an incredible show. You know, I'll never forget that show. And the, because the hearts were wide open.

Yeah. Well, this because everyone knows what a wonderful man and talented man that you are. Thank you. Now, you know, your book, Are You the Reader?

I am.

Okay. So I've always wondered this. How the heck do you do that? Without making mistakes. Like, how do you— I've always wondered, how do people do that? How do they have inflection right and everything right? How did you do that?

Well, one day into it, words like possibility or impossible looked like Japanese to me. It was just— I was just so in it that I couldn't win it. And I had a great producer. And I'm sitting there in Martina McBride's studio, which is called Blackbird Studio here in Nashville., and, um, I was very frustrated, um, and I had a little secret, a little secret weapon dropped by the studio, um. She's, she's no bigger than a minute, and you might have seen her in Wicked, you might have seen her in, I don't know, RV the movie, but she, her name's Kristin Chenoweth, and she, uh, she's a, she's a friend of mine, and she, um, she brought a, brought a blueberry cheesecake by the studio, um, that she had made herself. And she said, listen, I've done many of these, and the problem is you're too close to it. She goes, imagine this. She said, you're sitting in your little hometown of Butler, Alabama, and here's little boy Tyrone Herndon, and he's sitting on the courthouse square. She goes, and you're sitting right next to him, and you're making him really nervous. She said, so why don't you scurry on up there to the top of that hill and just Settle in and tell that guy's story. He'd appreciate it. And I got very at ease. I sat down and I finished it in 4 days, and I just— I became the narrator instead of talking about myself. I just—

I mean, that was unbelievable. You get an A+. I mean, that was— and you know what? You live with dyslexia, which makes it even more amazing.

Yeah, that's why those words were looking foreign language to me for a minute. But all of a sudden the pages, the pages equaled out and I wanted to go back and redo the first 4 chapters. But my editor said, no way. She said, we see the evolution of you in this. We see the timid guy is starting out. She said, and by the end of it, she goes that— he goes— she goes about halfway through that 10-year-old preacher shows up. She goes, and then the man shows up. And then he starts— it starts ownership and he starts telling the story. She goes, it was a train I didn't want to get off of. So I could not have gotten a greater compliment in my life from an editor that has edited so many huge books. And I don't know where this— I don't know exactly where the journey of this book will go. It's been very well. Thanks, everybody, for keeping it at number one on Amazon. I mean, my gosh, thank you so much. Um, um, and my greatest wish for it is, um, that it lands in people's hands that, that need to read it. Um, and sometimes you won't know you need to read it until you're done with it and you, and you recognize yourself in it. Um, but if it's 100 years from now and if it's got dust all over it, some 14-year-old kid picks it up and changes their life, for me, um, in the most humble place in my heart, that is the purpose of this, of, of these words and this story, um, after I'm long gone. And, um, it— for me, I look at it now, I don't know, I know that every day is going to be beautiful, it's going to have challenges, and it's the life well lived. And that's what I wish for, uh, my husband, my, my, you know, if there's future kids, if whatever is in store, this is a life that's worth living. And it's a life that can be well-lived. It's not going to look the same for everybody. Some days are going to be really hard and some days you're going to laugh your butt off and some days you're just going to be. And that's what this old man— guess I guess that's what I know so far.

Well, I just want to say, I don't know how you did it because I read it and listened to it on Audible. How about that? Shoo!

Oh my goodness.

I said, wow, how do you do this? Yes. I mean, you just go right through, you know, I thought, oh, did he hire someone? And then I looked back, I said, no, I think it's him. And then when I heard your voice, I thought, oh no, it is, it was him. But that, that was absolutely—

thank you. I'll tell you a really cute story because, you know, I've got a very animated family, you know, down in South Alabama, and my cousins and I are all very close. And my cousin Kim, she said, you know, I sent her the audiobooks. I just, I wanted a little affirmation from some of the family before it was out there for everybody. And, um, she takes her 1-mile walk every morning, and she, uh, she called me and she said, "Ty," she said, "I had to call my husband to come pick me up because I'd walked 10 miles." She was listening.

So I said, "I know, I, I, I can understand that." You know what? I want to tell everyone that This book is riveting. It is inspirational. It is, and there's humor in it. But this book, I mean, you wait till you start reading it. It really, it is very riveting. And I know you've done so much because of your faith in God, how you love music so much and singing and your friends, but that Miss Peggy. Seems to have been a rock in your life.

I can't even explain her, really. She's, she's her mother and her mother before her, um, which were both American Indian women. Um, there is a strength that I'm so happy that I got from her that runs through the women in my family. And Lord knows, I think I have, um, joined the ranks whether I wanted it to or not. But, um, there's wisdom, um, there's a calmness that no matter what you're going through— I mean, there's a, there's a place in this book where you, where you probably will love my mother more than you've ever loved anyone. When she got on an airplane in the heart of my addiction and she flew, she flew there and back in a day to Los Angeles from Nashville to just hand me a picture of a coffin that she had purchased for me. Yeah, because she said, I would rather see you in heaven with your father than see you existing like this, because this is where you're headed. It's paid for. We love you, and we will never not love you.

Oh, I know. When she— I know.

Yeah, that was so powerful. I pray that no mothers ever have to do that, you know. But it was, it wasn't— it was, it was a, a beautiful awakening experience for me that, that that, that woke me up enough to go, okay, I want to live, and I'd like to live better, and I'd like to live well. And I never— I, I thank her for that, but she knows she's the kind of mom, she goes, I really would like for you to stop thanking me for that because I didn't do that, God did that. And I said, yes ma'am, heard.

Well, she is— oh, I would love to meet her. Wonderful.

She will make you a good cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea or some good cornbread. So we had some of her cornbread last night. Actually, so actually I had some for lunch because I brought, I made some beef stew and I had some corn. I put it over some cornbread.

Beef stew and cornbread. Boy, that's a Southern man there. Well, you know, sadly, well, the Bender Leadership Academy, I started, I did volunteer work for you. I live with epilepsy. And thank God I had a accident because my epilepsy was misdiagnosed and I had a seizure and hit the floor so hard I fractured my skull and had brain surgery. But against all odds, this was in 1985, I had this miraculous recovery. And from that, now found employment for thousands of people with disabilities. So, you know, God always has a plan. But then I started the Bender Leadership Academy for high school and middle school students living with disabilities that are preparing them for work and dealing with terrible, terrible bullying.

Yes.

Terrible.

And people are mean. They can be very mean.

Kids to suicide. And we see mental health, we see addiction, we see it. But for any of those young people listening, Uh, what advice could you give them to deter them from something like meth or, or, or any heroin, any drug?

Well, in my world, um, I often looked at those drugs as medicine, and they weren't, um, because I didn't have the answer. I was 56 years old when I was diagnosed with, with this severe bipolar, um, ADHD. Um, I knew about the dyslexia from a kid, um, and just having a brain that wouldn't stop. I, I talk about it like the Flight of the Bumblebees. You guys remember that song? That was never-ending for me. It was just always that way. And I remember, um, my first week at Jay Flowers Institute in Houston, Texas. That was where I started my mental health journey, and it was nothing about drugs. It was about a very broken mind. And, um, and I don't like the word broken, um, it just, um, was confused. So getting on the right meds I just remember finding the balance and just, I remember all of this going from this to this, and then getting the courage and the help to land. And I'd never heard, seen, thought the world existed that way. So, um, for me, addiction, um, was just trying to quiet the voices. And, um, and so always, I always tell kids this, let's look at your mental health first, you know, let's figure out what's going on so that you have a chance of thinking clearly and seeing things clearly and thinking clearly and speaking clearly and being able to not get stuck and know exactly what's going on with this beautiful gift that's called you. Um, and so that's my story. Um, uh, and, you know, drugs and alcohol, oh my gosh, um, they're not medicine, y'all. They are what they are. But, um, I understand that, that why people lean into it. I do. Um, but also give that a voice. Figure out what's happening with you, with your, with your heart and your brain. These two things, if you can see me on this camera right now, they're very important to connect. This guy and this guy, they work together and it makes everything else work. And so, um, and there's always help out there. There is always help. It's our jobs, this young lady right here, my job to help you find it. And so, um, don't be afraid to reach out, you know, to, um, to tyherna.com. We have, you know, all the DMs. We check everything always. And I know that, um, I know that Miss Joyce does as well. So, um, um, never be afraid to fight for you because you are the most beautiful gift that, um, and, you know, bullies gonna be bullies. As Taylor Swift says, haters gonna hate. They're just gonna do it because, you know why people hate? You know why people bully? Because they don't know who they are. They are very confused about, um, their own existence. And, um, the, uh, the, the best thing that can happen with a bully is that you're smarter, you're braver, and you're happier. So Seek the answers and know that you're loved. Know that you are loved. Chosen family, very important.

You explained that perfectly because, uh, at my other company, Bender Consulting Services, which I started in 1995, what I do is find employment for people with disabilities in engineering, IT, all these areas. Um, and yet Sadly, today, 70% of people with disabilities are still not counted in the workforce. We are the highest unemployed group, and a very large— there is a large portion of mental health disabilities, and I just want to say those things, whether it's alcoholism, substance abuse, total leading a wild lifestyle that you can't control, Bipolar. That— a lot of that comes from bipolar disorder.

It does.

Um, so Ty is right, flipping it. Check your mind. Mind could be the problem here. And you know, isn't it wonderful with medication and therapy that you can get that all under control?

It sure is, child. You know, and make sure you keep it in check too, because I think I think this is the humorous side of me. If I'm going just a little bit to the left, anybody in my life will go, did you take your meds today? Wait, did I? Okay, wait.

Well, you described that one thing though, of the mind going 100 miles an hour.

Yeah.

The bumblebee, that is bipolar disorder.

It is.

Yeah. And then the crash. I remember you saying in your book, um, did you see a pattern here?

Yeah.

Which, yeah, you know, we— there was a pattern. But mental health is frequently misdiagnosed, just as, oh, how they treated you in school with dyslexia. Do you know that still happens today?

Yes, I do. I do. Just my friend Amanda and I just, and my manager Zeke, who's my friend, we just, we're working on, almost finished with a sweet little children's book about dyslexia. Because for me, I learned to make sense of it all by just singing to the farm animals and then having a little party when I got it right, you know? And it was just the cutest little visual. So Amanda said, She works with a big drug company. She said, we've got to do that book. And so, um, just a little hint to you guys out there, look for that maybe later in the year. But it's, uh, it's going to be a sweet little tool to, uh, for, for kids just to recognize themselves, what's going on.

You better let me know.

I will, for sure. We're friends now, Miss Joyce.

You know, that's going to all the schools. These national foundations I'm involved with Yes, ma'am. Because what happens the minute a child leaves to go to that special class? Yeah, that's it. You're stupid. You're dumb. We saw, you know, same thing with ADHD.

Yeah, that's in my book. I, I was, I was put into C groups, and I didn't understand why I couldn't learn because I knew I was smart. At least I thought I was, you know. I knew, I knew, I knew enough to know that something was, was wrong, but there were no diagnosis back then. And, you know, but, um, so I know that feeling, um, of wanting to do better but not being able to accomplish it. And, um, thank goodness, thank goodness there's so much help out there. And for any of you guys watching, you're not broken. Never let anybody tell you that. You're not broken. You know, it's just a little, just a little, just gotta just get those knobs right, you know, get those meds right. And it's just, you can land this.

Well, yeah, here's what I tell people when I'm talking to young people about epilepsy, because thank God with my medication, I do not have seizures. But this is what I tell them. When you have a seizure, you have too many neurons firing off. So you know what? That fits me. I've got the firepower.

Yeah.

I've got firepower.

I like that.

And so do you. And so does people. You know, the other thing I tell young people with disabilities, have a mental remote control. Mental remote control.

I love that, Ms. Joyce.

You know what you do? Change the channel when they say you're stupid, you're dumb, you're ugly, you can't do it, you're going to fail. Yes, that's it. Change the mental remote control.

Next.

Instead, you're gonna hear, you're gonna hear, you're awesome. I'm beautiful. I'm not listening to them. I don't care what they say. I know how good— that's what you have to do. There, you can tell that now to all those young people you know.

Or just simply, I'm having a great hair day. Look at who good my skin is. Look how pretty my eyes are. Find something beautiful about yourself. Yes, very important, very important. I was told that on my worst days, to not look in the mirror and see broken, to look in the mirror and just find one beautiful thing. And then you find one beautiful thing. I got my mama's nose, you know. Hey, you know, all of a sudden I see my father's face, and it changes. It changes for you. So no one has— one voice has no power over you because your voice is bigger.

Well, it is. That is so true. That's why I have my students at the end of every class, they have to yell as loud as they can, "I am awesome." And that's what you have to— even Ty, when I see them, they'll say that to me. They'll say, "I'm awesome, Miss Bender. I am awesome." That's how you have to be.

That's right.

Day, right? You're awesome.

Yes.

And by the way, you're really awesome. You're—

thank you.

You are so awesome.

So is my chicken.

Oh, look at that chicken.

It just holds the brood.

Not a rooster, but really cute. Yeah. So listen, what is the foundation for love and acceptance?

You know, we have morphed into so many areas, but really at the end of the day, we just find and help what is— if there's a need, fill it. Basically, we, we do mental health, uh, rehab, um, you know, uh, if it's, if it's your pet that needs surgery, we just have an open ear to what, uh, needs to be fixed.

Well, that's wonderful you do that. And, and you're helping young people with mental health disabilities.

Absolutely.

Like I say, if you're listening right now, um, look at this. Ty Herndon. He is a country star. He's, he's a celebrity. He has a mental health disability.

Yes.

Look at him.

Yes.

That can be you. See, suicide is a mess. You can't change that mistake.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

So life is worth living. You know, I'm very a person of faith, and I know God has a plan for all of us.

Yes.

And you know how Jesus said, love your neighbor as yourself?

Yes.

What I add at the end, no edits.

No edits.

Love your neighbor as yourself. No edits.

Yes. Because he's got the whole world in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. He's got the whole world in his hands. And we've got you in ours. So there you go.

You know what? I knew you'd sing. I knew it. I knew you would sing. I knew you would because you love singing so much. I knew it.

Oh, Miss Joyce, you're precious. I really appreciate time with you today.

Well, you know, I'm going to be marketing that next book of yours when it comes out. But wait, first we have to market this one to everyone, and then we'll have to market the paperback when it comes out. This is the hard copy.

Hard copy.

Market the paper. Yes.

More stories.

Oh, again, you are an excellent writer. Thank you. You are an excellent writer. Thank you, Ms. Joyce Bender.

Thank you.

Yeah, my favorite author is Charles Dickens, so I have to put your book right up there.

That's some nice company.

So tell me, when— well, we know you're going to write another book. You just told us you're going to write another book. Do you still go on tour? You know what?

Yes, we just got home yesterday, and our Sunday, uh, leaving again, uh, tomorrow night. I played the Grand Ole Opry. It'll be my 21st time on the Grand Ole property tomorrow night. It's beautiful. It's a gift. Um, and, and then we leave for New York, um, on Thursday where I'm, uh, playing a show in New York. And then I'm, uh, doing, uh, I think CBS Mornings or something. I can't keep up with my life. Um, but a media day, and then, and then New York Pride's on Sunday. Um, and then, uh, um, headed back here for a few days and back out on tour. So yeah, we're, we're touring this new record and touring book, and we will definitely make a little book stop to come see you because we do a lot of that. Just reach out to my manager, Zeke Stokes, and, um, you know, it just— we'll make it happen for sure.

Oh yes, we're gonna do it. We're gonna have you in Pittsburgh, and we're gonna do that, and we're gonna get you— him— you're gonna come back and you're gonna go to a theater and you're gonna sing here also.

I love it. That's what I do.

You watch me. Watch me with this book.

Yes, ma'am.

I got the firepower, remember? I got the firepower. I'm going to get that going. Well, Ty, a question I had to ask you. What is your favorite gospel song? Ooh.

You know, I kind of do it every night when I tell the story of getting my record deal because I did a live audition at 31 years old to get my record deal just like the Judds. Um, what two songs got me that deal was How Great Thou Art and, um, um, and a Jack Greene song called There Goes My Everything. But, um, as far as the core of me, How Great Thou Art, that lives in my DNA because not only did I sing it, that and Amazing Grace that I sang on my grandma's radio show when I was just a little guy, but, um, uh, the wonder of what God can do, and that's in the first line of that song. And I just, I love it so much. Now I've got a ton of, you know, We Shall Behold Him, which my friend Dottie Rambo, the great Dottie Rambo, wrote, which I'm— her daughter is one of my pastors. Um, I have a lot of pastors in my life, and I love that. And the word pastor meaning leadership, um, true, loving, knowledgeable leadership. Anything else, you can go ahead and close the window on that because, you know, it's, um, uh, you know it when it's right. And thank you for asking me that question because, um, Um, got a couple of big weeks ahead of me, and you're— you, you are— you, Miss Joyce, you, uh, made my, made my, my time better on this planet. So thank you.

Oh, I am so gonna be a Ty Herndon PR person. I am, I am. I told everyone, I told them I'm going to talk about your book on other shows. I'm going to say, did you know who used to be here? Valerie Jarrett, President Obama's top advisor.

Yes.

Yeah. So we're not going to tell her.

Okay. Well, you know, if Michelle reads this, I'll just go ahead and just retire.

Well, see, I won an award from President Clinton. I worked during the Bush administration. I mean, got an award during the Bush administration, but I worked the most with the Obamas. They are, they are wonderful, wonderful people. They are, they are the best.

I can't say enough greatness about that family. And I watched the, uh, um, um, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, oh my gosh, my brain just went dead on me. Happens sometimes. Um, they just opened up a monument to President Obama in Chicago. Yeah, Memorial. Yeah. And, uh, well, he's not— he's not dead. What am I looking for, Joyce?

It's like a library.

A library. Thank you so much. But all the music and all that.

I love it. Jennifer Hudson sang there.

Yes. And I loved it when she said— she started her speech, she goes, Barack, you need to look at me. He was like, okay. What a voice she has, huh? Precious, precious moment. Oh yeah, that'll go down in history. I quite honestly— Brock, you need to look at me, I'm about to talk about you.

Oh, that is so funny that she said that. Yeah, well, I have to— I don't know, I'm not going to say the answer, I'm going to ask you. But who is your role model?

You know, I've had the honor of having many over, over the years, but, um, right now, you know, I'm gonna say my, my mental health sponsor. His name is David And he spoke at our wedding and he gave me a phrase that I pass along and lives with me today. Follow the breadcrumbs. Follow the breadcrumbs, 'cause God's constantly leaving them for you. Follow the breadcrumbs to your greatness. And that has stuck with me. And you know, it's just one of those gurus in my life. You know, I've got several of them, but I always like to say, I can write you a country song And I'm a pretty smart fellow, but there's a lot of people that helped me get there. There's a lot of people that are rowing this boat that make me look a lot smarter than I am. And, you know, and I appreciate that because I am a vessel of learning every day. So I think we— my grandmother said at 95 years old, she said, if you haven't learned something today, then you have not been alive. So. I think that's beautiful.

Well, we know you had an ongoing purpose because you survived all of that addiction and not realizing you had a mental health disability. Um, so see, God had a lot more for you. He said, 'Ty Herndon, I'm not ready to let you go yet.' Right.

Yeah, that's right. Some days I tell him, I'm like, 'Okay.' Um, um, I'm 150, so we might need to slow down a little bit.

Oh my, oh my. Um, okay, so when are you— how do we know where you're on tour? Do we go to your website? Where is that?

Yeah, you know, you can find it. We have the most beautiful website. This is tyherndon.com, and it's just, you know, you get— we are currently selling selling some beautiful t-shirts right now that say Testify to Love, you know, just— and there's— we just— we try to keep the heart and the mind, um, in a positive space. And so go to tyhurnan.com and just, just see tour dates, the book, um, a few surprises.

You know, the next time you see me, I'm going to be wearing that Testify to Love. You know it. You know I am.

You'll turn me into that little Pentecostal kid. I'll just be shouting up and down the road.

Hey everyone. Okay, here we go. Ty Herndon, What Mattered Most. Oh, this is such a great book. It really is. You got to buy it and then you've got to tell other people to buy it. And here's what you can do. And Ty, you need to put this show on your website.

We're gonna, for sure.

I'm gonna tell everyone, share this show. Share this show. And I know you have family members that have mental health disabilities or you know, have gone through addiction. Uh, I'm all about helping people with the mental health disabilities, but I'm gonna tell you, you got a superstar. Ty Herndon.

Miss Joyce, you better come here and give me a hug.

Here, I'm giving you one right now. All right, I'm giving you one right now. Um, and you know what, Ty Herndon, I just love you. I do. I just I told you after I read this book, I said, oh, I know him. I won't be surprised when I talk to him. I know him. And I got to tell you, I got tears in my eyes in that book. I did.

Bless you.

You talked about it all. I mean, I, I give you so much credit. You talked about it all. And I know that had to be hard. But now we have you and you are A-okay and you two got the firepower and you are gonna just help me change so much. You're gonna help me change even more, Ty, because you're going to keep spreading the news about Testify to Love.

Yes.

Testify to Love.

You're a blessing.

I think I end every show with a famous quote, but I'm changing the quote. I decide I'm changing it. Ty, what is that? Scars to stars. What is that?

Your stars. Your scars are your stars, so wear them proudly.

Okay, I want everyone to print that out there that's listening. Yes, let your scars be your stars. Be your star. Let your, let your scars be your stars and testify to love, y'all. There you go. If you're looking for quotes, you just got two great ones. I earned it. Ty, love you. Loved having you on the show. Have you on anytime, any day. Thank you so much. So this is Joyce Bender, America's Voice, where disability matters, at voiceamerica.com. Talk to you all next week.

Voice America would like to thank you for tuning in. Please join us next Tuesday at 11 AM Pacific time and 2 PM Eastern time for another installment of Disability Matters, right here on the Voice America variety channel. We are the leader in live internet talk radio. VoiceAmerica.com.