Ty Herndon: Living with Bipolar Disorder and Giving Back

Welcome to Disability Matters with your host Joyce Bender. All comments, views, and opinions expressed on the show are solely those of the host, guest, and callers. Now the host of Disability Matters, here's Joyce Bender. Hello everyone in the United States and around the world. You're right now saying Who is that? That doesn't sound like Joyce Bender. This is Joyce Bender recovering from COVID That's why my voice sounds so different. But let me tell you, what's that postman's thing? Uh, neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor hail could have prevented me from being on the show with Ty Herrington. Nothing, nothing. Uh, and as a matter of fact, I was thinking, this is what I've always wanted to ask someone, and I'm going to ask him in a minute. What do entertainers do when they have a show and this happens to them? So we'll talk about that in a minute. But first, to all my listeners around the world, thank you so much, from China to Australia. Wow, you guys are awesome. And then, of course, to everyone in the United States. Speaking of around the world, Richard Roberts with the U.S. State Department in Brazil, shout out to you. Shout out to Gun Young Cho in South Korea. Cheryl Harris at the State Department. Venyamin. In Kazakhstan. You know, I just want you to know, all those people are helping me spread the news about quality of life. And as I'll be mentioning in a minute, for those living with mental health disabilities in many of those countries, it is horrific, it is terrible. But we've got a lot to do right here in the United States. Special shout out, Yoshiko Dart. Special shout out to you and to Highmark, our lead sponsor. So you can't imagine— I guess you can, being that I'm on here no matter what— having Ty Herndon, Grammy-nominated and Dove Award-winning recording artist. Oh, like I have such a famous person. It's unbelievable. And I'm so thrilled. I have to ask this first, Ty. My first question: What do you do when you're an entertainer and you get a cold or the flu or something? What happens?

Well, first of all, I wasn't nervous till you mentioned all those countries. So, hi, everybody. I tell you, you know, you can't— you can't call in sick. So I have, uh, I've done shows that I sound like, uh, a bad version of my friend Kim Carnes because she sounds great, um, and you just sound like a dog barking. But you just got to sing those songs and hope the crowd sings the— knows the hits and sings it really loud. And it just— you just, you just puddle through, man. This is what you have to do.

The show must go on. I always say, oh my God, What do entertainers do? What do Broadway stars do that go out every night? Um, I guess you just go. That's what you do. You just go. Well, no, no, no, nothing else.

I wish we could have an understudy for, uh, sometimes, but in country music, we're it, man. Uh, I, I give some of my, uh, I produce records today as well, and some of these young guys are like I got a cold, I should cancel the weekend. I'm like, um, I've never canceled a show for a stuffy nose in my life, so we're not going to do that.

Wow, that is unbelievable. That just shows what a champion you are. That takes real fortitude. And you were saying about people, uh, around the world, we have some countries where like there's only two people on the show. I mean, in that country listening. But I always tell them, whether you're in Mongolia, no matter where you are, you're making a difference because one person, one person can spread the news. And all of you can buy Ty's music. So how about that? And so, you know, everyone in the United States, Ty people with disabilities or families of people with disabilities are so supportive of anyone that stands up for us, and that's you. So as I said, it's such an honor to have you on the show today. You're a country superstar, artist, Grammy-nominated, Dove Award winner, mental rights advocate, You are a star with 20 Billboard hit singles and wait, 5 million albums sold. Yet you took time to be with us today, and that is so exciting for all of us.

Um, oh man, thank you.

You've lived such a journey. You came back from so much substance abuse, setbacks in the music world, poverty, and almost died from an overdose. Yet Here you are, a champion star country recording artist and a podcaster, and most importantly, a just a good man. You know, I've followed you on that podcast, and I would say you are just a good man and a role model for so many.

Wow.

Let me ask you this question. Did you ever in your wildest dreams believe you would be a country star?

Well, uh, with everything that I've been through, I always remember my grandmother. She was my hero. She said, "Son, even if both legs are broken, get up anyway." So those words rang true in my head many times. Um, but I am— that same grandmother, I sang my first solo song on her radio show. She had a radio show in South Alabama every Sunday, and I wasn't tall enough to even get to the microphone, so they would stack Coca-Cola boxes up and I would sing and my grandma would play guitar for me. And if my voice sounds a little funny, I'm on the same boat with you. I have had COVID 4 times. It seemed to like me, so I've burned sage in the house and told it to get away.

Oh, I didn't try that. I'll have to try that. Yeah, is it— it is terrible, isn't it? Well, hey, your grandpa—

oh my gosh. Oh, so I have to probably have a little bit of the COVID fog today, but I'm gonna do my best to keep up.

Oh, we're just the same. How about that? We're in the same boat.

Um, we'll help each other out.

Yes, we will. That's a great story about your grandmother. Um, it really is. And is it actually her that influenced you to be a country, uh, recording artist?

Well, you know, I grew up in bluegrass and gospel music, so that's kind of what I thought I would do. And my dad had this great collection of, uh, of country records, and so it was country, gospel, and bluegrass playing in our house, and we would gather around my grandfather's FM radio and listen to the Grand Ole Opry, except it was an AM radio then. And man, I just said, I want to be on that same stage with, you know, with Patsy Cline and Reba McEntire and still love the Lord and do gospel music and try to be a great man. So, you know, it's been a I said I had a lot of dirt roads to get to the smooth pavement, but I am— I'm so thrilled that, that people love my music and that I can sing the truth and, um, and help people with the thing that I love most besides my mama, and that's country music.

Oh, well, Ty, you and I have the same faith, so how about that? Also, no wonder I could tell you are— you were a good man. I had an accident That's how this all started with my company. That's not a national company. And as you heard me say, I travel around the world and this is a 20th anniversary of this radio show.

Wow.

Awesome. Yeah.

Congratulations. Congratulations.

Thank you. One night I'm at a movie theater. My disability had been misdiagnosed and I had a seizure at a movie theater and hit my head so hard I fractured my skull. Had a brain hemorrhage and was rushed to the hospital and had life-saving brain surgery. But here's the thing, there were only a few people out— well, that's when I found out I had epilepsy. But there are only a few people out there because it was the intermission of a movie. Out of nowhere comes this man, he says, I'm a doctor and this is the person who saved my life. I've been in New York Times, Reader's Digest, all these things. I never found him. That's why Reader's Digest said, her angel at the movie theater. Look what happened for that.

Look what happened. I have some of the— I have those— some of the same angels that, that, that showed up for me as well. And, um, sometimes they— sometimes they show up when I don't want them to. I'm like, I, I got this. And then God says, no, you don't, son.

Well, they definitely have helped both of us. They have definitely helped both of us. I am so— go ahead.

I'm so sorry, I need this. I'm so happy about your miracle. That's amazing.

It is, because, you know, now I have this national company because people with disabilities have such a high unemployment and As I told you, I speak around the world, but that's not all. I did volunteer work for 20 years for high school students with disabilities. And finally, 2018, it became a 501, and that's where the Mary Brocker Mental Health Initiative Not Ashamed campaign is. And I just want to thank you for doing that. But I got to tell you, Ty, you know, it's so important what you're doing and saying, because from bullying and other things, we lose young people to suicide. So that's why I couldn't wait to have you on today. So I'm going to ask you a question I've heard you ask people.

Ready?

Yes. How would you describe who Ty is?

Say that one more time.

How would you describe who Ty is? I heard you ask this to— who was it? Can't remember now. But who is Ty today?

There's a little bit of static on the phone, so I think that you— that you said, who is Ty? Yeah. Wow. Who's Ty today? He is— I can sum that up in one word. It's is happy. Um, wellness rules in my blood and bones. Sobriety rules in my blood and bones. Love and being of service. Um, and believe me, um, when you finally get a chance to get your heart and your mind connected the way they're supposed to be, because your heart and your mind runs the rest, runs everything else. And to have them fighting each other is, is, is a nightmare pretty much. But I tell kids when I get to hug them and talk to them, you know, you're going to have, you're going to have trauma in your life. It's going to happen. I don't know anybody that hasn't. But I hope that I can help you with the tools to deal with it better. Because mental health is, is nothing to be ashamed of. I always say that as well. I've got a t-shirt that says "Sober" on the front, and on the back it says "And I'm fun, damn it." And the other one says "I'm mental and I'm proud." And I just, I think we have to wear our scars and let them be center stage because that's our truth. And if you don't do that, you're not able to help anyone else and you're not able to help yourself. Who I am today is I'm a teacher, a little bit of a preacher, and I am a singer and songwriter, and I'm a sponsor. I am, ah, you know, I'm pretty much the son my mother raised and the kid God wanted me to be.

Yeah, you are, you are that. Um, you know, you went through all of this substance abuse and so many things. You know, I— would you say a lot of entertainers have to deal with all that?

You know, I think being on the road 210 days out of the year creates some bad habits, like not sleeping and being tired and, um, and just having to be mentally sharp. And I think a lot of entertainers today, um, don't— we, we just don't go out and do that, those grueling schedules anymore because, um, it's, it's a little more planned out. And I'm actually a, uh, an owner in the record label that I'm on, and we, we're really making sure that young people that we signed to this label, that their message also goes out and it is a message of wellness and taking care of yourself. And it's a better artist than a worn out, tired, not thinking straight, living on a tour bus. It just doesn't serve you. So I think a lot of these artists that are coming up Um, they're taking better care of themselves, so that's good to see.

Oh, that's wonderful. Well, that thing you said about traveling and wearing people out, you know, I'm sure that is an impact. So, um, and by the way, what's the name of your record company?

My new album is called Jacob, and, um, it is— it's been out for about, uh, 4 months now. Uh, I'm sorry, about 7 months. And we just released our second radio single off of it last week, and it's going very well at country radio. And I'm just, I'm, you know, I, I, uh, I was told that all of us '90s country artists, uh, have been put out the pasture, but it's kind of a nice pasture, you know. We see all our friends there. But, um, one of the radio guys told me the other day that I guess he said, I guess you found a hole in the fence. I said, well, I guess I did, but, um, how about we just call it a great song and, uh, that people really like? And it's, it's, it's been, uh, it's been pretty cool.

Well, it isn't just one good song. I listened to the album. It is outstanding. Okay, anyone listening, Jacob, Jacob is the name of the album. Ty Herndon, you can download it. Let's remember He is fighting for people with disabilities, but that doesn't matter. It's really good. I listened to it, and you got a lot of holes in that fence, Ty.

Well, you know, there's, there's not a song on the album called Jacob. I, I was at a place in my life, my mental health was so bad that I just didn't want to do music anymore. I was just, I was just tired, and I didn't feel like anybody was listening, and it was a lot of stinking thinking. Going on. But I sat down with my, um, with one of my spiritual counselors, um, and he said, you know, your story reminds me a lot of, of Jacob in, in the Bible. I said, yes, I'm very familiar with, with Jacob and Israel. And he said, you know, sometimes God, universe, whatever you want to call it, will cripple you and that, and that, and that, and that wound helps you find a way to heal and then you become a leader in your tribe and that's what happened in that story. That's, that's, you know, I grew up hearing it in Sunday school and just, and in that moment having that conversation with, with my spiritual counselor I I said, you know what, um, you just made me want to sing again, and I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to, I'm going to write my, my story, um, about Jacob. So it's, uh, it's all in there, man. It is. And then a few fun songs just because life is beautiful and we can't forget to celebrate that as well.

Wow, that is a great story. See, and you had forgiveness come your way because Esau forgave Jacob.

Absolutely. And I think that's the— that is the, the most important thing that, that has happened. And I say this is so important in people's recovery, is, um, um, is forgiveness. And it's, it's all about forgiving yourself and being strong and knowing that abundance and wellness is right there for you, and you deserve it all.

So what advice do you have for people that have struggled with substance abuse and have a mental health disability and have caused many problems with their family? Things have happened, and then they go back for forgiveness and they don't get forgiveness. What what advice do you have for them?

Well, you know, there's an art to making amends, and sometimes, um, the, uh, the families haven't done all that recovery work, so they're not quite— they don't have all the information. So patience and time, and go back, you know, and, and, and give as much information as you can about your disease. And then, you know, sometimes forgiveness just doesn't happen, and you have And God creates this whole new family for you. So it does not always have to be your birth family. It can be chosen family. So, but sometimes families just need a little time. And it is always great if you have a sponsor or a counselor to help sit the family down with the Amends so they know there is someone professional there. And if you cannot do that, I mean, just a, just a really trusted person. That knows your journey and knows that you're here today to do amends with this friend or family because they mean that much to you. And the beautiful part about that is God has to be in the room, your version of God, just a lot of love. And continue doing wellness because they will notice. May take some time, but they will notice.

Yeah, they will. I agree with you. Well, I have a big question for you here, Ty. Uh, yeah, I got a big one. Um, you live with a mental health disability, you talk about it with everyone. I— here's my question: what was harder for you, coming out as a gay man or coming out as a star living with a mental health disability?

Oh wow. Well, I think the mental health disability was, was there, uh, from the moment I started hiding who I was and, and, and started feeling like people would not like me. I couldn't have a career, I couldn't have a church, I couldn't have a family, I couldn't do any of the things that I was put on this earth to do. I didn't have the information, um, that I, that I could. And my journey to that information was paved with a lot of trauma. So coming out was cool. It was something I never thought I'd do. Um, I was just loved by just about everybody. I got very little, um, hate mail. It was just a lot of love, even from the other artists. And because I think at this, at this point, a lot of people knew my music and knew my heart. Now coming out as the second coming out was revealing, you know, that, that I was pretty sick. And that was, that was hard because I don't think that I knew how sick I was myself until, until I started to crumble and then didn't want to live, didn't want to be on this life. And that's not like me, you know. I was, I, I was, um pretty, pretty broken. So I learned about trauma, about tar and feather in the soul, how it can build up and just be quicksand in your own blood and bones. So I was drowning. So the, the, uh, letting people know that I wasn't okay was the hardest thing to do because I had lived my whole life being the greatest little boy in the world. But it was the greatest gift I gave myself to open my mouth and let people know that I wasn't okay. Because a lot of times people that are having mental issues get really quiet. They get really isolated and they're really alone. So my big saying is, now check on family and check on your neighbors, check on people. As a matter of fact, during COVID I probably knew one neighbor on my street and at— And here we are, you know, a few years down the road and I probably know 140 people on my street now. Um, because I just make sure people are okay. I probably overdo it because they're like, okay, Herndon, we're fine, go back home.

Well, that's wonderful that you do that. And why I brought that up was there are so many young kids who are gay that end up with a mental health situation or already have it, um, and it's just, you know, it's so often leads to suicide. So, you know, I am really, really glad that you're doing this, uh, because people don't realize what kids go through. You know what I mean? They just don't—

yes, I understand.

Yeah, what they go through. And you doing that, not ashamed, makes such a major difference because, you know, that's the biggest problem for young kids—

shame. Yes, it is. And there's no place for that. There's no place for shame in your blood and bones. It is, it is a cancer within itself. So it is one— it is one of the things I love to say when I talk to a bunch of high school kids or smaller is a lot of bad days can add up to a really, really bad day where you'll make a really powerful wrong decision. A little bit of work and a whole lot of love and opening your mouth and telling a friend that you're not okay will lead to some of the most beautiful days the rest of your life. So, you know, you have to, you have to speak into the bad days, but you have to, you have to kind of, um, really powerfully speak into the better days because those dark days are hopeless and just takes one little ray of light to pull somebody out of that.

Yeah, and that could be you, the person. You could be that one, one person, one decision could save a life. Always remember that. Well, it's on the half hour and it is time for our national news, national news in the disability community. So, uh, Perry, are you with us?

I'm happy to be here.

So, Perry, what's in the news nationally?

Well, we're celebrating Fair Housing Month. April is designated as Fair Housing Month, and the purpose of Fair Housing Month is to educate the public about the need to eliminate housing discrimination and to increase our awareness, our knowledge, understanding of all of the fair housing laws and policies that are there. And to celebrate Fair Housing Month, I really want to note that today, to this very day, April 11th, marks the 55th anniversary of the enactment of the Federal Fair Housing Act. That law signed in 1968. 1968 prohibited discrimination in private as well as public housing on the basis of race, religion, color, national origin, and it protects people in all aspects of housing such as sale or rental, getting a mortgage, seeking housing assistance, or other housing-related activities. And so someone might say, okay, so— that's on the basis of race, religion, color, national origin. What about disability? Well, the Fair Housing Act was amended in 1988 to broaden protections under the law. In 1988, it became illegal to discriminate against people with disabilities in housing. Congress also saw fit to add families with children to the Fair Housing Act protections. So, um, it goes a little further. In February of 2021, the Department of Housing and Urban Development clarified that the Fair Housing Act also prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation. I, I think we know that HUD is the federal agency that enforces the Fair Housing Act, including fair housing under 504 of the Rehab Act and the Architectural Barriers Act. So here are some statistics. Uh, the National Fair Housing Alliance reported in 2021 that there were 31,216 complaints of housing discrimination in the United States. Joyce Bender 53.6% of all complaints were filed on the basis of disability. So disability is the leading reason why people go and file a complaint on housing discrimination. Unbelievable. Advocacy matters. The most important thing we can do to celebrate Fair Housing Month is to educate ourselves about fair housing and the process to file complaints with HUD. If you go right now to disabilityrightsPA.org, click on today's advocacy matters segment, you'll find fact sheets on fair housing, a tenant's rights under fair— federal fair housing law, and so much more from Disability Rights Pennsylvania. You'll also find a link to the HUD complaint process as well as a link to HUD's webpage on fair housing and equal opportunity. So Joyce, we're so excited to celebrate that 55th anniversary of the Federal Fair Housing Act, and what a great thing it has been to our nation.

Yes, that is a great thing to celebrate, and I hope everyone goes to disabilityrightspennsylvania.org and goes to that advocacy page. Everyone go. Uh, Perry, thank you for that news.

Absolutely, Joyce Bender.

Take care.

We are the only show, Ty, in the world that every week has national news that impact people with disabilities.

That's amazing. I was, I was sitting here listening to every bit of it. That's That's so incredible. I love that you do that. That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's very important to me, but certainly to all of our listeners.

I actually walked back— my fiancée is getting ready for work— actually walked back and let him hear all that news as well. It was pretty cool.

Oh, that is good. Yeah, great. When are you getting married?

August 5th. But if we don't get busy— we've been so busy, we haven't got a whole lot planned. So my mother's going to be very upset if we, if we have to change the date because she, she's already bought her sequin pants, so she's ready.

Well, you better let us know so we can send our best wishes, uh, your way. That is, that is so exciting. One more time, Jacob. Jacob, the album Jacob, Ty Herndon. Go to Spotify, uh, to his— is it on your Facebook also, Ty, if they want to download the album? Where else is it?

All the links are on just about every social media thing that I have. It's just absolutely— but the best place to go get it, uh, is, is tyherndon.com. Um, and it just— it's our website, it's so easy, but it will send you to all of the outlets. If you're Amazon, if you're, uh, if you're, um, Sony, if you're whatever, whatever you pay for or get from stream for free, it's there.

Ty Herndon.com. I mean it, everyone, it is so good. You can't believe it's good. It's great. It's great. And he's fighting for us. Ty Herndon. .com. Jacob, I love that name, by the way, especially now that you told me why. That, that is really an incredible story. That's a great story. Um, so you leave with—

it was, it was, it was probably one of the— you know, when a higher power helps you make a decision, then the higher power continues to show up. So this, this album was just It was therapeutic, it was fun, it was joyful, it was heartbreaking, it was all of the emotions to write. And there's only, there's only 12 writers with me on the entire album, and they all have a story, and that's— and that was so important to me. So, um, I learned a long time ago from my mom, it's not just about singing music, it's about listening to what you're singing, because when it goes on that microphone and goes out to the world, you're not only telling your story, you're telling a lot of people's stories because they're going to relate to that music so much. So it's, it's always important to me to do a body of work that I know is going to be a healer. It's going to be full of love. It's going to be full of heartbreak. But the heartbreak for me had a happy ending. And so that is why this album is so full of joy as well.

Oh, isn't that great? That is so great. So when you wrote this, you really poured your heart into it with, with everything you've been through, with all, with all of it. You poured it, you, you poured it into this album, didn't you?

I did. You know, if you're going to sit down and write a song called God or the Gun, um, it's, it's It's all in, or don't do it. And I wrote that with my producer Eric Halbig and the beautiful Jamie Floyd. And we sat down, the song was finished, we sat down in the same spot right in front of my grand piano in my house that, that I almost wasn't on this planet anymore. And in that moment, I got to restore what is quicksand and make a very solid floor that I'm not going to fall through, um, by, by music, love, and telling the truth about mental health, that it is a demon. It is, and it will take you out. I heard it. There is— there is—

I heard that song, and everyone, all the young people should listen to that song. See, Ty, the other reason that everything has worked out and you are here. God always has a plan. You are not done yet. Now you are going to be a national advocate across the world, but starting in the United States for young people living with mental health disabilities. You are going to do far more than you imagine. I just know it. I can tell it. It is— the favor of God is on you. I just know it is going to happen.

There's a line in that same song that says, "Heaven said I wasn't done." And here you go, everyone listen, everyone listening out there, to know that, um, on a bad day, what I do, I take my bare feet, I don't care if it's raining and cold, I put it in some grass, I put it on the earth, and I raise my hands up, and I receive a whole download of joy and energy. And I ask for it because I need it. And I, in my wellness, I haven't been let down with that. So get your, get your shoes off and go find some good grass, y'all.

You heard me. You're not done yet, that's for sure. You are here for a reason. Even though everyone tried to do something, including you, here you are. You're here. So, um, and we are going to support you Non-stop, I'm going to be talking about Jacob.

Thank you so much, man. You know, my grandmother always— once again, a very wonderful and wise woman— but she always said, you know, if you put a thousand hearts on the table, you're gonna see a thousand beautiful hearts. You're not gonna see race, color, sex. You're just gonna see a thousand beautiful hearts that are only there to love and be loved. And I love that um, that I just— I love just visualizing that, um, when we're all fighting out in this world just, just for the right to love who we love and to be who we are and to coexist. So a thousand beautiful hearts, that's what we are.

That's true. That is so true. So I read your story And I know that Carrie Underwood had an impact on you with the song So Small. Could you talk about that for a minute?

Absolutely. I love Carrie. We, we actually are friends, but you know, music is the thing, whether they're your friends or not, that will stop you in your tracks. But I, um, I had a moment when I when I heard that song, I had to pull my truck over and I pulled it off the road and I just wept because the song was so important. And I can't tell you how many times I felt so small, even with all the great things going on. I just was never able to feel as big as God wanted me to feel. And that song just smacked me in the face, and I knew I had to record it, and I had to— I had to do a video with a lot of beautiful kids in it, and that's what we did. And if you get a chance to go, just Google that video. It's, it's just— it's my version of So Small, and it's such a wonderful video. You'll get a blessing from it.

Well, you may have thought you were so small before, But I can tell you, you're a giant and you have such an impact. You're going to have on so many people. You know, there was a young girl living with autism, 10 years old, and they were calling her the N-word at school. And her family went to the school and told them not to do this. And one day she went to school with, with Febreze. And her mother said, what are you doing? She said, well, they tell me I smell. This little girl was 10 years old and she took her life. So when I say, Ty Herndon, that you're going to have a big, big impact— what is more powerful than saving lives? And I am here to tell you, you have God's favor. Something big is going to happen and it's going to be all good. It's gonna be all good. That stuff in your past is behind you. You are moving forward now. And I'll bet you didn't think you were going to talk to a preacher, huh?

Hey, I was just— I was about to say thank you for that affirmation and that word. I receive it. And, you know, in the name of all goodness, absolutely. I had goosebumps on my arms. Thank you for that.

Yeah, well, I mean it, and I know you know I mean it. So I want to say something else I want everyone to go to, and that is Soundboard. Oh, there you are being a great mental health advocate. Someday you're going to have to have me on, Ty, so that I can tell everyone how great you are. And, uh, you are helping millions of people Why did you decide to start that podcast?

Well, again, another platform to have a voice. And there's so many people in the, in the music business and the, in the entertainment world who have these incredible stories about turning down the negative voices and turning up the positive voices and, and, and living life and wellness. And I just thought, you know, nobody's really talking about this. And my record label is actually owned by a mental health company, so that was That was, uh, divine, wasn't it? And I went to, uh, went to them and, and said, I want to do this. And they said, absolutely. We just found out that, um, the podcast is going to be turned into like a little talk show, so we'll be filming it as well.

Oh, that's great.

It's— hey, it's motivation to get on the treadmill, so I'm glad to have it.

Well, I mean, it's really good. And you've had, uh, LeAnn Rimes and a few other stars on there.

Yes, and I would love to have you on my podcast. We'll, uh, we'll make sure we have hair and makeup and everything.

Um, I— you know what I would want? I would want a student with a mental health disability with me. So we'll work on that.

That would be amazing. Absolutely. Well, you know, on our show you can I always like to say you can, you can do what you want and have what you want within reason, as long, as long as I don't have to sell my truck.

No cussing either. No cussing on the show. I won't be doing that either.

Um, no, no, no, no cussing. So my mother still has a cuss— my mother still has a cuss jar, so that's, that's not okay in our family.

Oh, a cuss jar. Oh, that is good. That is good. Uh, well, before we go any further, we have a caller on the line. Scott, are you on?

I am, Joyce. How are you?

I'm good.

I'm recovering from COVID I know. I hope you are feeling better and, uh, getting stronger every day. And, uh, Ty, thank you for being on the radio show, and, uh, I'm a big fan. Absolutely. He's a big fan. I am the, uh, the manager of programs and partnerships for Bender Leadership Academy, is Joyce Benson. Um, it was founded in 2018. So one of my things that I work on is the That Not a Shame campaign, and I just wanted to call in to personally thank you, um, for doing a video, because with you doing that video, I provided a huge to the Academy's Not Ashamed campaign that we just launched in 2022. So, for those of you who do not know what that is, we aim to promote truth around mental health and to spread awareness that mental fitness matters to everyone as a component of overall wellness, just like nutrition or physical fitness. So, please go to our website, vendorleadership.org. There is a Not Ashamed link on there, and then you can see all the videos and specially guys, he's right up there with Joyce Bender. So thank you again, Ty. Oh my gosh, you just made my day. Thank you so much. I really appreciate all the work that you're doing as well. So keep it up, my friend. Keep it up. I absolutely— God bless you.

I'll tell you what, Ty. I'll tell you what. Thanks, Scott. I'll tell you what, Ty. You can't imagine the difference that that makes, because when we talk You know, when we talk to over 500 students, we tell them, you know Ty Herndon, that country star that's famous? He has a mental health disability and he talks about it and he's not ashamed. Because Ty, if I could just get these young people to not be ashamed, they don't even tell their families. When they know something is different? Because they don't want to tell anyone something is different.

Yeah. Well, you know, um, my mama and my grandma and my grandpa— I knew that those were the 3 people in my life that would love me no matter what. And to all you young folks out there, I hope and pray that you have one of those in your life that you can tell anything to, um, and that Sometimes it's about a simple hug and just being able to give it a voice, because when you don't give it a voice, it sets like cement in your soul and it just gets heavier and heavier. So it's, it's a beautiful thing that you, you have this built-in jackhammer that you can crack that cement open and set yourself free from, from the baggage that's been put on you, and it's not yours, and you get to find out who you are. And that's pretty, pretty, pretty dadgum beautiful.

This is what I do when I, when I speak in person or virtually to any of the classes, because we have classes and one of them is to fight bullying, because kids with disabilities are bullied more than any other group in America. So this is what I make them do. I tell them Okay, you're gonna get out the remote. The next time someone says you're weird, you're ugly, you're stupid, you're gonna get out the remote control and you're gonna change the channel. And you're gonna say, uh, I don't have time for you. I don't have time to hear you. I know I'm beautiful. I'm not listening. So every show— and still to this day, kids will tell me this from years ago. I tell them, "You are awesome, and I want you to say it every day and write it and put it on your mirror." But then I make them say it at the end of every class, and I would yell as loud as I normally do, but I can't with COVID But just trust me, I tell them, "I want you to yell so loud that your parents get mad because Every one of them are awesome. And that is one of the messages— I am sorry, go ahead.

What I would like to say to, you know, to a bully is even when I was a kid, my grandmother— my mother actually taught me to say this. She said, she goes, I am sorry, but my mirror says I am awesome. But your mirror is clearly telling you something. Wait. Nope, nope, nope, nope. I am prettier than you. Oh my gosh, humor has been a big— it's one of the things that has helped me the most. And just knowing that if someone is going to say something like that to you, you can't imagine what, what probably what their life is like at home. That if somebody's, if somebody's going to point a finger at you, they're pointing you know, 4 of them at themselves. So bullies usually have a lot of hate going on for themselves. And that's when I tell my kids, "You're awesome. Tell yourself you're beautiful every day." But we also have to pray for people that are broken. And there's power in that. There's self-power in that. It's God's power.

God's power. You've got God's power.

Ty, hallelujah!

Remember what I told you? You're gonna do something big. I want you to remember I told you that. I want you to remember. So, Ty, for all the young people, you know what you have to do? You have to get this podcast and put it on your Facebook so that kids can hear there is hope. And right now, I want you to— any of the young people listening to this show that are contemplating taking their life, what message do you have for them?

That sometimes it's just a bunch of bad days put together and it will get better. I have to say this, I, I, I've had so many bad days that I just, that I just looked up at the sky and I said You know, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can, just for today. Just find just a little bit of hope in the day, and it will— that's planting a seed for a lot more hopeful days. Oh, my dog agrees. Pipo agrees.

Well, see, that's what counts right there. And you know, I always tell people, this is the mistake you can't change. So, you know, you can't even think— your life is so important. No matter what you think, this too will pass. And, you know, don't even think about— look at this. Look, this man, he's a celebrity. He's a country star. He's famous. And he's on this show because of his hearing about you. How many people can say that?

When you, uh, when you end your life, you're, you're, you're ending the bad days, but you're also erasing all the good days to come. And there's a lot of them out there. And it is, um, and love is powerful. And the most powerful thing that, that you have is your voice. And you have to You have to be heard. So that is what I would really— the main thing I would say to a young person is open your mouth and scream it loudly that you need help and have no shame about it.

Yeah, and I always tell people you have to tell someone no matter what. You have to— and if it is not your parents, it is your preacher or your rabbi or your teacher or your coach. It is someone. You always have to tell. Someone. You know what I mean, Ty? You have to tell someone.

I do. Isolation is also a killer. Yes.

Oh yes, it is. So Ty, let me ask you something. What brings you joy?

You bring me joy talking to you today. I enjoy the moments, man. Uh, I—

wow, you have a great voice! You should, you should be a singer.

I am, I am, uh, the sun's shining today, and, um, I'm, I've got, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm, I've got all this wellness. I'm in, I'm in love, and God is just blessing my life, and there's just a lot of joy. And, you know, is there bad days? Sure. You know, I, I, uh, I, I have very insecure days. I do. And I have to do a lot of work around that. Because I spent most of my life in hiding. And, and getting rid of trauma doesn't mean that you get rid of it. You learn how to manage it. And the more you manage it, the less it gets. And I'm having— and I have, I have those days, but I have the knowledge of what's going on. And I really— I drive my fiancée and my mom crazy because I never used to talk a lot, and now you can't shut me up. But Sometimes I just need to shut up. I've learned that look. Okay, I've said too much.

So I have one other question. What about someone— because I got a lot of questions about this here— what about someone that aspires to be a country artist?

Well, you know, I, I have a lot to say about that because it's real simple. Um, if you want to come to town and be a songwriter and a singer, treat it like you're going to Harvard. Know everything you can know about the history of country music, about songwriting, about publishing, about about managing money and be a pro at your craft. And by the time you get to Nashville and you get to town, or spend a few years here doing that, and that's what will rise to the top. And in that moment, you get to be who you are. And so, you know, I was— you're not coming to town as an LGBT or a gay artist, you're coming to town as an artist. You're coming to town to do your craft, so do it and be, and be great at it, because great.

Yeah, I love what you said about Harvard. I do. Well, hey, Ty, I can't thank you enough for being on the show today, but I can tell this will be the beginning of a great friendship.

Oh, absolutely. I'm going to pause and kiss my, kiss my fiancée. She's going to work. Bye, honey. I'll see you. I'll see you later. You look way too nice to leave this house.

Uh-oh.

Thank you so much for having me on the show. You're, you're right, we have a budding friendship. And I, man, I've learned, I've learned something from you today. Your, your voice is powerful, but your spirit is even more powerful. And you are a preacher-teacher, and those to me are angels. So you are an angel, and I'm praying for you that you feel better quickly because we need you well.

Thank you. Well, I— you are going to love this. You are going to love this. We end every show with a quote, and so because of you, it's going to be, "And the ransom of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing." That's you, with singing.

Uh, Ty, thank you. Hallelujah! I love it.

I'm gonna get to tell everyone you sang to me. I'm gonna be telling everybody, hey, Ty Herndon sang to me on the radio show. If I was—

hey, don't forget everyone, you are so beautiful to me, can't you see, babe? Yeah, you're beautiful, you're a beautiful soul, my friend.

Oh, you're, you're so wonderful. And I— that's why I have to tell everyone one more time Jacob, buy it, by Ty Herndon. All right, everyone, this is Joyce Bender, America's Voice, where disability matters, at voiceamerica.com. Talk to you all next week, and in the words of Mary Brocker, remember, choose joy. Voice America would like to thank you for tuning in. Please join us next Tuesday at 11 AM Pacific Time and 2 PM Eastern Time for another installment of Disability Matters, right here on the Voice America Variety Channel. We are the leader in live internet talk radio. VoiceAmerica.com.