In this episode of the How to Live in Denmark podcast, host Kassandra Melish returns from a two‑week vacation in the United States and reflects on the cultural shock of re‑entering Danish life. She recounts being bumped into at Kastrup Airport without the usual apologies, receiving an unexpected IRS notice for $600, and feeling the pull of two very different bureaucratic systems. Melish contrasts Denmark’s seamless, single‑ticket public‑transport network with the fragmented fare structures she encountered in U.S. cities, and notes the stark difference between Danish customer service (a sullen grunt) and the enthusiastic assistance she found in American stores. She also laments the prevalence of pennies and the United‑States’ imperial measurement system, which feel cumbersome compared to Danish kroner and the metric system. Using the South‑African term “salty” to describe someone with one foot in two countries, she declares herself a salty, straddling Denmark and the U.S. The episode closes with a brief promotion of the How to Live in Denmark book, the podcast’s website, and social‑media channels.
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Hello, welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kassandra Melish. I've been away from the podcast for a couple of weeks. I've Been on vacation in the USA. But I'm back now, and it only takes a few minutes after I arrive at Kastrup Airport before something happens to destroy the relaxing effect of 2 weeks off and several thousand kroner spent on spas, hotels, and fancy dinners. The jolt back to reality usually happens at the baggage carousel when one of my fellow flyers of the Danish persuasion Bumps right into me without saying excuse me or pardon or unnschuldigung or any of those other nice oops, I've just run into you phrases so common in the rest of the world. For Danes, the standard response after accidentally running into someone is a sullen grunt, along with a sour look of annoyance that you got in their way. And if I don't get bumped into in the airport, There's bound to be a letter from the tax department waiting when I get home. If it's not the Danish tax department, as it usually is, it's the American tax department, as it was this time. I came home from my wonderful, relaxing vacation to a completely nonsensical letter from the IRS, written by a machine and asking for $600. But that's what it's like when you have a foot in 2 different countries. You have 2 different sets of bureaucracy hassling you. And when you go back to your country of origin, it's alarming sometimes to realize how Danish you were becoming. I remember when I first came to Denmark and I thought, it's so cute, their cars are so small. Now when I'm in the U.S., I think, why do they need such big cars? Another thing I missed about Denmark was the way that all the transit works together. Now here in Copenhagen, for example, You get one ticket and it works on the S-trains and the buses and the ferries and the regional lines. That's not true in the U.S. Even in a mass-transit-friendly city like San Francisco, there's one type of ticket for local trains, a different type for the buses and trams, and entirely different ones for the regional trains and the national trains. Why can't they just work together? The Danes are the masters of the practical, and you notice that when you visit any country that isn't. Now don't get me wrong, I still like going to the U.S. Everything's in English. I don't have to struggle for the right Danish phrase to say anything. I like the diversity of the people. I like the fact that they're open and friendly and up for a chat, even if you don't know each other very well. I like the diversity of the food, like good Tex-Mex food. You can never really find that in Denmark. And I love being able to shop in bigger stores with more variety, cheaper prices, and sales assistants who actually actively want to help you buy things. This compares well to Danish customer service people, who are best known for greeting customers with a sullen grunt, along with a sour look of annoyance that you got in their way. But there are also some things in the United States that drive me crazy, like pennies. A U.S. penny is worth about 5% of a Danish crown. That means 18 pennies equal 1 Danish crown? Why do I need to have a forest of pennies at the bottom of my purse? Get rid of the penny! I'm also annoyed by their ridiculous measurements. Enough with the teaspoons and quarts and gallons and Fahrenheit temperatures. Nobody else does that. Stop it! So I think I've become a salty. Salty is an old South African expression. It was something that white South African Afrikaans speakers, who saw themselves as committed to South Africa, used to describe white English speakers, who they said had one foot in South Africa and one foot in Britain. This meant that their personal bits were dipped in salt water. I've got one foot in Denmark and one foot in the USA. I guess that makes me a salty too. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. Please stop by our website at howtoliveindenmark.com, visit our Xander Mellish Facebook page, or follow us on Twitter @howtoliveindk. The 2 is a number. See you next week. Bye. Remember, the How to Live in Denmark book is available for download on amazon.com. You can read it on any phone or tablet. All you need is the Kindle app, and the Kindle app is free. The book's not free, but it's not very expensive either. If you read the book and enjoy it, please leave a review on your local version of amazon.com. It helps other people find the book and find the podcast.
