In this episode of the How to Live in Denmark podcast, host Kay Xander Mellish explores the central role of authenticity in Danish culture. She begins by describing Denmark’s extreme seasonal light patterns and the unusual habit of keeping curtains open year‑round, which she frames as a literal expression of having nothing to hide. Mellish argues that authenticity, trust, transparency, and humor are core Danish values, contrasting Denmark’s non‑status, "no‑fake‑it‑till‑you‑make‑it" ethos with cultures that prioritize image. She illustrates this with personal anecdotes: a Danish magazine that published an un‑retouched photo of an older fashion designer, and her own experience of being photographed in awkward, unflattering ways by Danish media, which prefers candid, imperfect images. Mellish traces the roots of this authenticity to Denmark’s Lutheran heritage and the philosophical influence of Søren Kierkegaard, noting the plain, unadorned interiors of Lutheran churches and the cultural expectation of direct, plain‑spoken communication. She shares a humorous hotel story from Kolding, where the hotel displays both glowing and critical TripAdvisor reviews side by side, reflecting a self‑deprecating, humorous approach to hospitality. The episode closes with a promotion for her book, The Danish Year, and a call for listeners to leave reviews and follow her on social media.
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Hello and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. These are the light times in Denmark. In May and June, it's light until 10 or 11 in the evening, and then the sun is back at around 4 in the morning. It's a nice contrast to the dark times in winter, although all that light can make you feel a A bit jittery and overstimulated. This is also one of the few times a year that the Danes close their curtains. They do that so the first rays of sunshine won't wake them at a painfully early hour. At other times of the year, the curtains to homes and apartments are often wide open, and visitors to Denmark are sometimes surprised that they can see right into people's homes as they eat dinner or watch TV. Keeping curtains open makes sense for the darker times of the Danish year, when you're desperate for as much sunlight as possible. But it's also a sign of confidence in who you are and what you are presenting to the world, that you have nothing to hide. This is me. This is who I am. Authenticity is a basic Danish value, just like trust and transparency and having a sense of humor about yourself. Denmark is not a status culture. It's not a place where you fake it till you make it. It's a place where you are expected to present yourself, warts and all. And I mean that literally. One of my first experiences with Danish culture On a plane from New York to Copenhagen was when I opened a Danish magazine to a photo of a lady fashion designer, middle-aged, and the photo was apparently unretouched. The woman had significant crow's feet and an unfortunate wart, and the magazine had just left them there when they could have easily been airbrushed away. That was authentic. I learned later in life, when I was appearing in the media myself, that nobody wanted to retouch me either, and I really could have used it. There were so many odd pictures of me that appeared in the Danish media. Danish media outlets don't like to feature pictures of people just standing there and smiling. They specialize in off angles, awkward body positions, strange facial expressions, bad lighting, a little roll of fat. They believe this makes the photos authentic, believable, trustworthy, or as the Danes would say, not too upstillet or set up. Scroll through a Danish media outlet like Berlingske or Politiken, and you'll find a lot of photos of Danish people looking slightly uncomfortable. That's the style. This preference for authenticity has very old roots in Denmark. Like many things in contemporary Danish culture, it can be traced to the Lutheran religion that was once almost universal in Denmark and is still the official state religion, with King Frederik as its head. The Lutheran faith is focused on a direct relationship with God, as opposed to symbols and rituals. Even the philosopher Søren Kierkegaard championed an authentic existence before God. If you visit a Danish church that was built to be Lutheran— not one of the converted Catholic ones, but actually built to be Lutheran— you will notice that they are very plain inside, often just simple white walls. The message is religious sincerity, honesty, equality, unpretentious living, authenticity. This is also why Danes are often plainspoken, sometimes shockingly so. In the office, they may say directly, Yeah, I don't have time to help you with that. Socially, you might mention your fun new hobby, and they might say, I'm not interested in that. This can be a little surprising when you first hear it, but it saves time. And it's what the Danes expect. If you try to give an unwelcome message politely and indirectly, as is expected in many cultures, Danish listeners may not understand what you're getting at. Danish authenticity also has its lighter side. I recently gave a speech in Kolding, which I learned is the 8th biggest city in Denmark, Copenhagen, Aarhus, Odense, Aalborg, Esbjerg, Randers, Horsens, and then Kolding. And I stayed at the Hotel Kolding. The Hotel Kolding, which is a perfectly fine but modest hotel, had framed some of its TripAdvisor reviews on the wall— both the positive ones and some that were less positive. So, right next to a proudly framed 5-star review that says, the breakfast was phenomenal, You'll see a less enthusiastic review saying, the bed was horrible. Stayed for 2 nights, didn't sleep for 2 nights. Or, the corridors are stuffy and reminded me of a hospital. Or also, the staff was very nice, and when I went out to see the city, they took care of my hamster. Authentic. And it shows how the hotel management has a great sense of humour about itself, which is rather welcoming for the weary traveller. It's easy to have a good sense of humour at this time of year, the light times in Denmark, with the trees covered in fresh green leaves and the flowers in bloom. Of course, it's Denmark, So you don't get sunshine every day. When you do get sun, remember to assume the classic Danish sunlight position: eyes closed, chin lifted, face turned to the sun, to the warmth, to the light. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. Our new book, The Danish Year: 12 Months of Customs, Quirks, and Rhythms of Everyday Life in Denmark is available exclusively on Amazon Kindle for only 35 Danish crowns. That's $5, €5, or £4. And now you can get all of my books for download on Kindle for the same price. If you like them, please leave a review on your local Amazon or on Goodreads. I've had some nutjobs leaving some kind of crazy reviews recently, so anything you can do to balance that out is wonderful. As always, you can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, and YouTube.
