In this episode of the How to Live in Denmark podcast, host Kay Xander Mellish offers a non‑drinker’s guide to navigating Danish Christmas parties, which are traditionally steeped in heavy alcohol consumption. She explains cultural touchstones such as J‑Day—the first Friday in November when the special Christmas beer is released—and the norm of public drunkenness, noting that recent societal shifts like COVID‑19 restrictions and the MeToo movement may slightly alter party dynamics. Mellish shares personal challenges faced as a light drinker at business dinners, where multiple glasses of expensive wine are served and refilled, creating social pressure to keep up. She advises non‑drinkers to bring festive, non‑alcoholic beverages (e.g., non‑alcoholic wine, champagne, sparkling apple cider, or spiced apple cider as a gløgg substitute) both for themselves and as gifts for hosts. For hosts, she recommends offering inclusive options such as virgin cocktail pitchers, sparkling cider in champagne glasses, and a separate pot of hot spiced apple cider to mimic gløgg. Throughout, she emphasizes the importance of togetherness, traditional foods, and crafts during the Danish holiday season, concluding with promotional information for her books and services.
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Hello and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. That's our Christmas podcast music. Do you like it? This podcast is a non-drinker's guide to Danish Christmas parties. If you enjoy getting very drunk at Christmas parties, so drunk you can barely find your way home, you will fit in well to the traditional Danish Christmas party. Even company parties, which are so wild and soused that people often forget themselves with colleagues and end up in trouble with their partners at home. I do wonder if Christmas parties will be a little different this year, not just because of COVID restrictions, but also because of the MeToo movement. It hit Denmark with a few years' delay, as most things tend to hit Denmark, and several big politicians over the past year or so have lost their jobs because of bad behavior at parties. Mostly men who had been mishandling female colleagues. But there will still be alcohol at Danish Christmas parties this year because it's a tradition, and Danish Christmas is all about traditions. In fact, the official kickoff of the Danish Christmas season is J-Day, the first Friday in November, when the Christmas beer is released at precisely 8:59 PM. People wait around in bars drinking ordinary beers, And when the Christmas beer arrives, all hell breaks loose. In Denmark, being drunk in public, even as an adult, is usually not considered embarrassing. If you don't drink at all for religious or personal reasons, the holiday Christmas season can be a challenge for you. In fact, if you're a light drinker, a one-glass-of-wine type girl, as I am, the Danish Christmas season can also be a challenge. When I'm invited to a nice dinner with a business group, the server often places one glass of lovely and expensive wine in front of me for each course. I take a sip or two of each to taste them and to be polite, and when the dinner is done, I'm sitting there with 5 costly, barely touched glasses of wine. Now, if you do drink the wine, the server will come by to refill your glass, so you can never really tell how much you've had. Of course, you could tell each server not to do refills, or you could make it clear to each server that you don't want yet another glass of their wine. But this can be distracting and rather alienating for the Danish business people next to you, who you were supposed to be buttering up. They're enjoying their 5 glasses of wine. Why aren't you? I haven't quite figured out the formula for business dining yet. But when you are invited to a dinner party at a private home, I think the best approach is to bring along a festive-looking non-alcoholic drink with you. Danish hosts are getting better at providing non-alcoholic options, but it's often something pretty pedestrian, like a Pepsi, and you'll have to spend the night fending off questions about why you're not drinking. If you're a woman under 45, that may include questions about when the baby is due. So I recommend bringing along a festive non-alcoholic drink so you don't look like a party pooper. Something with pretty colors or bubbles. Bring along a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, non-alcoholic champagne, and give it to your host alongside or in place of the traditional gift of a bottle of wine. Of course, there are a lot of good non-alcoholic beers available these days, and even non-alcoholic gin and non-alcoholic rum. If you're the host of the party, it's a great idea to offer a pitcher of virgin cocktails or stock a non-alcoholic drink that everyone will like. Sparkling apple cider, which comes in a champagne-like bottle, is something everyone can drink, and it looks like a party. Pour it in a champagne glass— really, nobody can see the difference. And if you're serving gløgg, which is the wonderful Danish holiday drink of hot spiced wine, I recommend doing a separate pot on the stove of hot spiced apple cider. This is fabulous with a cinnamon stick, and everyone can drink it and feel like they're part of the festivities. Being together is one of the most important parts of the holiday season in Denmark. Food is also important— traditional holiday food. Traditional holiday crafts are important, like the paper braided hearts you'll often see hung on Christmas trees. And traditional holiday drinking is important. Whether or not you drink yourself, during the Danish Christmas season, you will be surrounded by plenty of alcohol. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. Our books make great holiday gifts, and you can get them all at booksandmore.dk. Howtoliveindenmark.com, or book me for a presentation to your group or organization at events.howtoliveindenmark.com, or come read our posts in text format at howtoliveindenmark.com. That's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. See you next time.
