An unhappy spouse is a leading cause of expat turnover in Denmark. The chapter covers job strategies like parental-leave cover roles and leveraging native language skills, plus integration through sports clubs, volunteering with Spiders, and networking. Combating isolation means reviving hobbies, joining language classes, and leaning on expat circles since Danes invest in long-term friendships.
Chapters
Chapter 24, Trailing Spouses and Working in Denmark. If you're coming from abroad to work in Denmark, you may be bringing along your spouse. That can be great. It's nice to have someone to shiver through the Danish summer with. But an unhappy spouse is one of the main reasons why people who come to work in Denmark end up leaving. Denmark is not an easy place to make friends, given that Danish culture tends towards respecting your privacy by not striking up conversations with strangers. It can also be tough for spouses to get jobs in Denmark, especially well-educated spouses seeking jobs at their level of expertise. A generation ago, expat spouses were mostly stay-at-home wives, who supported their husbands' careers. Spouses are different today. Most come to Denmark after finishing their advanced education, and they are sometimes mid-career. A good portion of them are men. Most contemporary spouses don't want to stay at home, and even if they did, that's rarely affordable in Denmark. The Danish tax structure makes single-earner households a rarity. Even if the person working has a generous salary, a big chunk of that income will go to taxes. Prices are high in Denmark for rent, food, and other daily necessities. Besides, stay-at-home spouses don't really have a role in Danish society as they do in many other cultures. There's no need to stay home and care for small children. Danish kids start full-time daycare when they are about a year old. Not sending your child to daycare is considered very poor parenting in Denmark, since daycare is where the kids learn Danish and learn the social rules that are so important to Danish culture. Even the children of the Danish royal family go to daycare. And because there are so few other stay-at-home spouses, people who do stay at home can find themselves lonely. The working spouse has colleagues and business connections to help them ease into Danish culture. The non-working spouse can feel adrift. If your family's financial situation permits it, consider having the trailing spouse commit to an ongoing volunteer role. Spiders, the Danish equivalent of Scouts or Guides, are always looking for adults to help children explore the outdoors. And the independent sports clubs that make up the steel skeleton of Danish social life— football, volleyball, judo— need people to serve as trainers or take on organisational work. If you're working with older children or teenagers, just speaking English well is usually good enough. You don't need to be able to speak Danish right away. Spouses can also get involved in short-term volunteering for Events like Copenhagen Film Festival or Vejle by Night, where they'll have a chance to make new contacts. Finding a job for a trailing spouse isn't easy in Denmark, even if the spouse is highly educated, and especially if the spouse's partner is on a limited-term contract. Even though the average Danish employee often switches jobs every 2 or 3 years, Employers can be frightened by the knowledge that you're actively planning to leave. A good tip is to look for a parental leave job. These are short-term jobs to cover for employees, male or female, who are staying home with a new baby. Another option is to lie, or to slightly slant the truth. Instead of, uh, yeah, my spouse has a 2-year contract, You can say, well, we're starting with 2 years, but we love Denmark for so many reasons, and go on to list some of those reasons. You'll never go wrong as a foreigner by telling a Dane how much you love Denmark. Some spouses find jobs at large companies that have English as a corporate language, or with NGOs— non-governmental organizations— based in Copenhagen. But that's not practical for everyone, especially if your spouse's job keeps you in Jutland. You could try leveraging your native language, working, for example, as a Finnish-speaking customer service rep to help the Finnish customers of a Danish firm. The harsh fact is that spouses will probably have to lower their expectations when looking for a job. That sounds counterintuitive, in a country with many high-tech industries screaming about the need for highly educated workers. But it's the direct experience of many people working with spouse placement. You will probably have to look for jobs at smaller companies, where the employees might all be Danish and might not be entirely comfortable speaking English. That discomfort means that you may need to start with an unpaid placement, That will allow the company to discover how many wonderful things you can contribute. Local bosætningskonsulenter, settlement consultants, can help you find this type of placement. Spouses who are looking for a job in Denmark, really anyone looking for a job in Denmark, should also have a 15 to 20 word elevator speech about what they can do. Focus on what you can offer a business. Not on your degrees. Something like, I want to help small companies work with online procurement, and I'm very interested in sustainability, is much better than, I have an MSc in computer science. This short speech can be used during social occasions and other unofficial networking opportunities, and most hiring in Denmark is done by networking. Your partner's colleague, Your child's daycare provider, or the guy pouring your coffee may know someone looking for someone like you. Spouses should also have a well-written LinkedIn profile ready to impress anyone who might have a job for them. Another approach is to avoid the Danish labor market entirely by doing distance work. Illustration, freelance writing, programming can basically be done from anywhere. Although as a resident of Denmark, you'll still be responsible for paying Danish taxes on your income. And this can be a handicap if you compete on price, because the people you're competing with usually do not pay giant Danish taxes and are often willing to work for less. Alternately, your time in Denmark can be a good chance to finally complete that master's degree or PhD. Especially since tuition is usually tax-financed and free for the student. Your fellow students will also provide you with a social network, which will make your time in Denmark happier. If all else fails, write a book. Whatever your approach, keeping yourself happy and engaged in Danish society will be a major factor in your spouse's success in Denmark. To avoid becoming too isolated, you might need to reestablish old hobbies. If you used to love squash or played upright bass in a jazz band, now might be the time to take it up again. Helping plan neighborhood events is a good way to make friends. So are your free Danish language classes or Facebook groups for spouses in your area. Introverted spouses will probably have the hardest time. Danes see friendship as a lifelong relationship, so they're unlikely to invest emotions in someone they fear will only be around for a couple of years or so. That may seem cold, but the truth is they just don't want to start something they're not sure they can finish. So most of your initial social contacts will likely be expats, or sometimes Danes who have lived in your country. At any rate, these types of people will be able to sympathize with you when you complain about Danish taxes and the dreadful Danish weather.
