In this solo episode of the How to Live in Denmark podcast, host Kay Xander Mellish explains how the Danish cultural principle of ligestilling (equality) shapes everyday interactions, especially the de‑emphasis of job titles. She illustrates the point with a personal anecdote about Nikolai, a senior vice‑president who offered her a glass of water without ever mentioning his high‑ranking title. Mellish argues that in Denmark titles are considered pompous; offices display only names, introductions use first names, and even senior executives dress and behave like any other employee. This flat hierarchy can confuse foreigners from more hierarchical societies (e.g., the USA, India, China) who expect titles to signal authority. She discusses how Danish education emphasizes group work and networking rather than individual competition, making the pursuit of prestigious titles less central. Mellish offers practical advice for doing business with Danes: focus on teams, projects, and goals; avoid asking about titles; and recognize that a person’s formal title may not reflect real decision‑making power. The episode concludes with a promotion for her How to Live in Denmark events and book.
Chapters
Welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. When I do How to Live in Denmark presentations, I generally ask for just a few simple items: a screen, a remote, a glass of water. On a recent gig, I was provided with everything except the water. And since I had met several of the company's employees when I arrived—you know, handshakes with Mary and Søren and Nikolai—I asked one of them to kindly get me a glass of water. I asked Nikolai. Nikolai smiled, walked off, and brought me back a glass of water. It was only after the event was finished and I was home making connections on LinkedIn that I found out Nikolai is senior vice president for Europe, with more than 650 people working for him and a salary that must have been in the 3 million crowns a year zone. But Nikolai had never mentioned his title to me. Because that's just not done in Denmark. One of the most important words in the Danish language is ligestilling— equality. The belief that all Danish people are basically equal permeates every relationship and every interaction. It's one of the reasons customer service tends to be so poor in Denmark. There's no tradition of anyone serving anyone else. You could dip deep into Danish history to find the reason for this passion for equality, which probably has something to do with the need for farmers to cooperate in order to make it through the dark Scandinavian winter. And fancy job titles don't fit into that passion for equality. They suggest you think you're better than someone else, which you might actually be if you've worked your way to the top of your field, but that admission is slightly embarrassing. If you do have an impressive job title, it's considered bad taste to show it off. Office doors in Denmark, for example, usually have just the name of the person inside, not their title. When you introduce yourself, whether to one person or an audience of 500, you just give your name, preferably just your first name, like Nikolaj. And it's considered laughable to strut about in a way that shows everyone you're the boss. In fact, when you enter a room of Danish businesspeople, it's almost impossible to tell who the boss is. Everyone's dressed the same, everyone acts pretty much the same, and nobody shows any particular deference to the boss. Now, this can be a problem when you're a job hunter or a salesperson and you have to figure out who in the room has the power to make a decision. To Danes, Titles are pompous. Even doctors and professors use their first names. But the lack of titles can be confusing to foreigners who do business with Danes. Particularly in hierarchical cultures, many people want to deal with a Dane of a similar status to their own. So when highly educated Danes sign an email with just their first names, as is considered good equal manners in Denmark, People from hierarchical societies often assume they're talking to a secretary or an intern. That can get in the way of a good business deal. I recently read a Danish guide to doing business in India. The writer suggested that Danish people not only use their job titles, but actually create a job title that sounds as impressive as the Indian they want to do business with. Now, for a Dane, that's a little bit like putting on a costume at a party. Titles seem artificial and make them feel slightly uncomfortable. Now, I do an event that includes tips for Danes working with Americans, and one of the most frequent complaints I hear is how Americans love their titles and how tiresome and pretentious that is. The truth is, Danes don't always understand how competitive the world outside Denmark can be. In the USA or India or China, the competition to get into the best schools is brutal and begins in childhood. A good primary school may be necessary in order to get access to a good secondary school, which can set you up for a good university. If you outperform everyone else at all 3, you might get a chance at a good job at a good company. And then work your way up to a fancy title. That fancy title means your hard work has paid off. It means you've won. Having grown up in a welfare state with an extensive safety net, it can be hard for Danes to comprehend how important it is to win and how far and fast you can fall if you don't. In Denmark, it's much less common to obsess about the top primary schools or top secondary schools. There are only a few major universities, each of which is top in its own subject. And the focus throughout the Danish educational system is on group work, not individual excellence. Successful students focus on building the network they'll need to get good student jobs and internships in their fields, not on antagonizing people by showing they're the smartest one around. I've found, actually, that Danes who do have that smartest one around type of personality often end up leaving Denmark. I know of several that have started successful businesses in the USA, for example. Anyway, if they remain in the local business world, Danes don't start a conversation with a potential new contact by asking about titles. They chat about teams, projects, customers, goals, maybe past companies they've worked for. If a title is mentioned at all, it's mentioned at the end of the conversation. It's even considered a bit crass to research someone's title before you meet them, although with LinkedIn that's increasingly easy to do. Knowing someone's title suggests you care about hierarchy and might not have a full commitment to equality. And to be fair, the flat management structure at Danish companies means someone's title doesn't always reflect how much power they have or their ability to hire Or sign on the dotted line, or whether or not they'll be asked to go fetch some visiting American a cold glass of water. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. Come visit the howtoliveindenmark.com website where you can book me for a How to Live in Denmark event for your company or for your school, or buy the How to Live in Denmark book on Amazon, iTunes, saxo.com, or Google Play. See you next time.
