04. Leadership: Happy Leaders Create Happy Followers

Hey, my friend. Welcome back to leadership in a nutshell, where we're cracking the code of the driven mind. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman, and I am super excited today to be back for episode number four, happiness Influence. Now, we're not going to go all soft skills and just, oh, we're going to sit around and act like there's no challenges or problems or issues in the world. But I do want to dive into the concept of happiness as it ties to leadership and our influence in our lives, in the work that we do with our teams, with our families, however this shows up. So let me ask you a question as we kind of roll in here. Is it dangerous to be happy in a leadership role? When you think about it, it's like, well, of course it's not, Kenny. What are you talking about? But then we really break it down and go, well, how often have we seen true happiness in leader examples in our lives? Is this whole concept of happy, healthy, wealthy, wise, is that all just BS, if you will? Is it not a reality that I can be happy? I can have the health that I desire, I can have the level of wealth that I seek and have wisdom from my past as I move into a greater future? It's up to you to make that decision. But I'm here to tell you, you might want to challenge your limiting belief if you don't think it's possible. So what we know is happiness always trumps unhappiness, period. I mean, happy is the unseen magnet, if you will. And I just want us to take a moment in these short episodes that we're doing together is just really just take a step back and go, yeah, wait a minute. You know, why is this important, Kenny? Why are we talking about happiness today when it comes to leadership and how I impact and influence my team? Well, isn't it hard enough as it is? I mean, isn't your job your life, your business, your marketplace? Isn't it hard enough? Aren't you tired of being in pain and creating pain consciously or unconsciously reacting to the pain of others? What about time to drop some old conditioning? All of us were brought up with a specific conditioning around leadership and how leaders should act. And we have to keep a poker face. It's supposed to be hard or we lose our edge. We can't possibly be happy and well adjusted and enjoy being what we're doing. Or it's not hard enough. It's got to be hard or other people would think that I'm not working hard enough. My ego would think that I'm taking a break. This isn't supposed to be fun or easy. Like, how can it be fun and have influence and have the life that I want? Wait a minute. I. Life's supposed to be more difficult than that. Think about how this might show up. So when we think about kind of definitions of happiness, some certain words come to mind. Contentment, obviously, is tied to happiness, satisfaction, pleasure, perhaps joy. When we're kind of embracing and thinking about that. And when you think about this, just let me ask you a basic, simple question. Is it fun to be you? Is it fun to go to your office? Is it fun to be in the relationships that you're in? Is it fun to create the life that you're creating? Is it fun to express your abilities in this world the way that you are? Or the flip side of that? Does it suck? Right? Let's just cut it to what it is. I told you early on I was going to be straight with you here, so we could ask the same question with that. Instead of fun, like, does it suck being you? And some of you are going, yeah, Kenny, you don't get it. Right now is a very difficult time. So does it suck going to the office? Does it suck being in the relationships you're in? Does your financial situation suck? And if it does, that's okay, but let's get clear about it and go, if it sucks, then let's make it short term. Because your true gift and an opportunity in this life is to have it be a happy place to work, live and enjoy and function. And so. So let's kind of think about that and look at that. And, you know, as I said, conditioning is a big part of it. And, you know, I remember early on, I had a reality moment when I was a young service business owner and I had to be the first person at the office, and I had to be the one to unlock the door and be at my desk on a Monday morning. And so picture this scenario. It's Monday morning, I'm at my desk, I turn on all the lights and. And I was owning a plumbing business at the time, and we hadn't even gone into H vac at the time or anything like that. Plumbing and drains only, and had a small crew. But no matter how big your company is, no matter what industry you're in, all of us have the early bird, right? The person that comes in and makes the coffee or kind of gets things dialed in and whatever. And I had my first technician come in. And I remember, I'll never forget this because it made such an impact when I had the realization of how I was leading, had my office position where I could look out my door and see people come through. You know, my technicians come in for the day, and as my team rolled in, and of course I'm the first one there, and it's Monday morning, and back then I used to drink, so I probably had a hangover. Since it's Monday morning, it might even have been football season. So I really had a hangover, right? Who knows? But as I look back and reflect on this, what I know happened is that my first technician comes in and looks in the door and says, hey, good morning, boss. How's it going? And I gave them the, oh, same crap, different day. Just, you know, here we go, it's Monday. And off they go. And then another person would come in and walk by the door, hey, boss, how's it going? Happy Monday. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, man. I spent most of the weekend fighting with my wife, had an issue, blah, blah. And then this would go on and on. And some of you can relate with me as you go through. And like, then by the time you get through, your whole team coming in, it's like, yeah, oh, God, I had a sprinkler line break. I spent a bunch of time doing yard work. The weather sucks, business sucks all the. And you're kind of in this funk, if you will. And then suddenly you realize you look at the clock. In my case, it was almost 7 o' clock and it was time to roll trucks, you know, at 7. And so all of a sudden I'm like, oh, I gotta go motivate the team. So I'm up, I'm out of my chair, I'm out into the. To the warehouse space where my team's hanging out and drinking coffee, getting ready. I'm like, oh, hey, get ready. Go rock and roll. Jimmy, make sure you take good care of our customers today. Hey, you know, hey, Keith, make sure that you embrace that new sales process we were talking about. Hey, Jeff. Make sure that you ask good questions today and sell a bunch of stuff that makes sense for our clients and how. And then you go, wait a minute, what's going on? Can any of you relate today with me on the line when you just go, wow, yes, I have operated like that. And when I had the epiphany, when I had the realization, I want you to think about the chair that you hold, whether you're sitting in it right now listening to it, maybe you're in your car, wherever you are, the chair that you have in the business today, meaning your role. It's never going to get better than that. And guess what? Take some ownership. Take some responsibility. You chose that chair, and I'm speaking to you. If you're a leader in the organization, whether you own the business or not, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you have sold to venture capitalism and different, you know, whatever that looks like, you are in a leadership role by choice. And that means intrinsically, you have the best seat in the house. And if your seat sucks and it's not fun to be in your seat, then what's it like being in the rest of the seats in that organization? We've got to take a step back. We've got to look at this and go, wait a minute. I might need to challenge my reconditioning of how this business works. Maybe that's not how I'm going to massively impact my team. And we'll talk about conditioning in an upcoming episode. But think about how can you accept being happy? What if it's okay to have fun, enjoy and easiness in your company? One of my friends and mentors, Joe Polish, talks about a concept of elfing is the business elfing? And elf is an acronym that stands for is it easy, lucrative and fun. And Joe's created some great companies in his time around. Hey, it should be easy, it should be lucrative, and it should be fun. And if it's not, then what are we doing? Why are we doing this? Life is too short, right? So I just want you to kind of embrace this concept. When we think about happiness and influence and leadership, you know, some challenges that we run into. Is our ego tied to that conditioning I just spoke of. We're taught that it's not supposed to be easy. And then our ego hangs its hat, if you will, on it's got to be hard. I have to have the hardest job in the business. If it's easy for me, then nobody else is going to work hard and we'll lose our edge and our competitive advantage will go out the window. And all these crazy things that we start telling ourselves, how about this one, right? How about a good, honest, hard day's work? Anybody else on the line heard that? Anybody been taught that from the time you were a child, you got to put in a good, hard, honest days work? Like, wait a minute. You know, I spent a lot of my time in the blue collar industries and still do a lot of coaching and training. And I founded a company called the Blue Collar Success group. And it's about back breaking the hardest work possible. What we do is teach to, wait a minute. How about we do some things smarter? How about we think about it a little bit differently? What if I can be happy in my work? What? You know, wait a minute. You don't have to be crazy to do this. And, you know, and then we quickly let ourselves off the hook because we go, well, I remember that concept of do what you love and the money will follow and really stop it. That's one of the stupidest things I've heard of. And I'm sorry, I don't create judgment. Whoever wrote the book, whoever came up with the concept, I know they're doing the best they could, but that's a fallacy that has created a lot of pain for people because you can do what you love and expect money to follow. But if you don't have a market, if you don't have a marketplace, if you don't have pricing structure, if you don't have a strategy, then money's not going to follow. Let's be honest. So let's use some common sense here, but let's challenge and look at what if I am happy? How might that influence my team? How would that impact some things? So here's some action steps for you today. Number one, get clear. Get clear and decide that you want to embrace more happiness. You just get clarity. Like, yeah, I want to be happier in my work, in my life, in my relationships, in my finances. Get clarity. Number two, drop perfectionism. We will talk deeper about perfectionism in an upcoming episode, but stop trying to be perfect. Massive pain. It's hard to be happy when you are not going to achieve perfectionism. So drop it. And it's a lot easier to be happy, right? And the third thing is enjoy little wins. Celebrate our little wins, the things that really bring us some fun. 4. Focus on gratitude. We'll talk a lot more about gratitude throughout our time together on this podcast, but you got a lot to be grateful for. It's easier to be happy when you're grateful for your situation, even if you're in the midst of a challenge. Then lastly, express yourself. Step into your crazy. Be you. It's hard to not be, you know, it's hard to be happy when you're not being yourself. You don't have to put on a face. You don't have to put on a costume, if you will, to go. Be the leader that you want to be. Get clarity. Just make a decision. You want to be happier. Stop trying to be so perfect. Enjoy the little wins and celebrate them. Get focused on gratitude and express the true you, the authentic self. Step into that greatness, even if it means stepping into your crazy. So here's what I want you to do this week. How would I know that you were being happier this week? What are some ways that you might be able to show me? If I was following you around, if I was trailing you around all week, how would I know that you were actually being happier in the work you do? If you could display it, that I would know it, then you will definitely know it and your team will see it as well. So make sure you subscribe here. Rate us. Review us. I'm certainly grateful for the time we're doing this in quick snapshots, not to waste your time but to hit you quickly with leadership. In a nutshell, where we're cracking the code of the driven mind. And we will continue to do that. I'm your host, Kenny Chapman. Thanks for being with us here today. See you next.