119. Truly Accepting Uncertainty

Foreign. Hey, my friend, welcome back to leadership in a nutshell. We're cracking the code of the driven mind. I'm so grateful to have you with me here today. Episode 119. Believe it or not, truly accepting uncertainty is our title, our topic, our focus. There is some uncertainty in the world, my friend, and it is time to accept it. Let's look at this. Let's kind of just spend a few minutes today. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go quick, I'm going to go focused, and I'm going to go deep in a short period of time with you today. It's why I record this podcast the way I do, because I just want to fist bump you if you're in your car. Just a quick high five, a chest bump, a hug, whatever it is. To mentally wrap you in some goodness and some positivity, in some optimism today. And there's a lot of uncertainty out there. And all you have to do is turn on a social media chann, turn on the God forbid the news, turn on some form of shared engagement, and you are going to hear, my gosh, there's so many different things and who knows what's happening with economy and inflation and markets and so on and so forth. And we've all heard this. Well, the only thing that that won't change is change itself. And the only thing that's certain is that there is uncertainty. And I mean this with all due respect to everybody that said those words myself include, but here's what I want you to think about today from that statement or those statements, blah, blah, blah, blah. Because what I know when I'm in pain and somebody says, oh, well, it'll change. That is not exactly what helps me when the lovely Christy has shared so eloquently with me before when I would say, quoting a Taylor Swift song, that's right, I'm gonna go there today. What was that? Taylor Swift had a song a couple years ago called you need to calm down. Or I'm assuming that's the title of it, but any. Anyway, in the song, she says, you need to calm down. And I joke with the lovely Christy, and I would say, man, you need to calm down. And she turned to me and she said, do you think that anybody ever in the history of humanity has ever actually calmed down when somebody told them to calm down? And I learned my lesson right then. And so now I get to joke with her about it. But here's what I know. When you hear things like that or like, hey, why don't you calm down, everything's going to be fine, Everything. It just doesn't help at the moment. And so what I want you to do is understand today, regardless of how much uncertainty we have, or how much uncertainty there is, or how much perceived certainty you might think that you have, accepting is what sets you free. And so when we truly accept that, yeah, there's a ton of uncertainty. There's more than you even know, my friend. And so the thing that jams us up is we have these avenues of people telling us what is certain and they don't know they're coming from their own perspective. I was certain that I had freedom. I was certain I had money. I was certain that I had good business. I was certain that I had the ability to travel all over the world and go anywhere that I wanted to, anytime I wanted to. I was a hundred percent certain of that. Back In February of 2020, I was in Austin, Austin, Texas, the third week of February 2020. I was at a book writing school, continuing to educate myself on better book writing skills. And hopefully that shows up in my latest book, Blue Collar Success Laws. But as I look at this and I went, man, I can do all these things. And then March, all of a sudden they shut down travel. And all of a sudden I can't go anywhere. And all of a sudden borders are closing and all of a sudden you can't go to the grocery store, you can't go certain. Wait a minute, I was certain of all those things and then all of a sudden it changed. Here's what's fascinating. It's been said, I think Tony Robbins talks about it a fair bit where we desire certainty and uncertainty in almost equal doses. I think that's fascinating because think, well, I want everything to be certain. I want to know exactly how it goes, how it's going to go. I'm a visionary, I'm a leader. I'm going to set a plan and I'm going to go and execute that plan exactly how it's supposed to go. And here's what I've say to you. Boring. You don't want it to go exactly how you think it's supposed to go. And you're like, no, Kenny, I really do, I get it. I used to think that too. But now I realize as soon as I set a plan, it's going to get blown up, it's going to explode. Yes, we've got a budget, yes, we've got a three year plan. Yes, we've got strategy, planning and that, that's all for the point of deciding what's the intentionality? Where do I want to go? What do I want to what? What's the destination? What happens between here and there is. It's all up for grabs. It's like an amazing road trip. The lovely Christy and I love to travel by car. We've done countless thousands and thousands, tens of thousands of miles of motorhome travel in our life. We love traveling by air, but we also love traveling by vehicle and taking our kind of annual summer trip, now that we live in Arizona, we get out of here in the summer some and different things. And it's like, my gosh, I don't know what's going to happen when I'm out there, but I'm going to embrace it. And when we start looking at life and business from that perspective, there's just a level of freedom that comes and. I don't know, we might end up in the worst economic time in history. Well, the cool thing is we got to go through it. No. 8, 09. Whenever it hit you, and then you go, well, hang on. And it's kind of interesting, as I say that, because I've heard different people say, oh, that was the worst ever, and they labeled it different. We weren't in bread lines like back in the actual Great Depression. Depression, my friend. So it wasn't the worst in history. People say, oh, the country's more divided than it's ever been. It's never been as divided as it is in the United States right now. Two words, civil war. Maybe we have been this divided. Maybe there has been uncertainty in the past. Maybe we've just lost how we can accept it. That's where it sets you free. Yes. It's an uncertain business environment. I'm not minimizing that. I'm embracing it, and I want you to embrace it. This is not the first time we've had uncertainty. It's not the last time we've had uncertainty. Why? Because every day when you roll out of bed, you're met with uncertainty. Your ego wants you to think you have control. It wants you to think that you are in control of what's going to take place, and you're certain of how it's going to happen. One of my favorite sayings, I don't say it as much anymore, but I used to say all the time, like, when different things would happen, I just say, well, that just goes to remind you every day when you get up, you just have no idea what's going to take place because we get surprised. It's part of the gift of life. And when we stop wanting the surprise, when we stop embracing the uncertainty, then it becomes boring. It's one of the reasons I'll never retire. I don't have any interest in what the collective society has agreed to call retirement. When you retire, you die. When you disengage, you go away. And that's not what I want to do. I'm going to talk about engagement. I'll talk about it here in a couple episodes, probably. But I think that engagement is a key thing. And when you can engage in uncertainty, you can engage in freedom in the middle of it. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household under my mom's watch. Dad was an outlaw biker, Mom's a fundamentalist Christian. And so I kind of landed somewhere in. In between those two, which what you see is what you get with Kenny Chapman, I guess. But, you know, one of the. One of the sayings that was thrown around in my family and extended family was this too shall pass. And I grew up most of my life thinking I was in the Bible. That phrase actually isn't in the Bible, but it's thrown around a lot. And so what's fascinating is I was kind of taught when things suck, that's when you use that quote like, oh, yeah, things suck right now. Well, this too shall pass. But when we're killing it and things are amazing and you have your record month in business, you don't necessarily want to be saying, this too shall pass, do you? But there's wisdom in that. This too shall pass. And it just removes your attachment to, oh, my God, record month. I want to hang on to this feeling. How about you just feel good when you're having a record month? You feel good when you're getting your ass handed to you by the education system of life, right? And it's like, well, Kenny, it doesn't feel good. I understand, but that's just a perspective. I don't love it when things just completely rug gets ripped out from under me, and I just have something that completely goes an opposite way or different things or a health situation or I lose a loved one or there's a tragedy. I don't love that stuff. But I'm learning that the better I accept it, the more freedom that I have. The more freedom I have, the better agent of change I can be in the world. I want to just be. I've been labeled as a happiness guru over the last year or so multiple times, and I just want to lean into that. I just want to help you be Happy. And what I know is when you accept the uncertainty that you're faced with on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, regardless of gas prices, inflation, economy, housing, whatever it is, you're going to be happier. And when you're happier, you make the world a better place. And that's what it takes place. That's how it happens. And so what I want you to think about today, I'm going to leave you with five things. And I told you I was going to come at you quick today. I kind of designed this podcast to be 10, 15 minutes. I don't set a timer, I don't have any idea how long. Maybe this is a 30 minute episode. My guess is it's not that long. But I never set a timer. I just want to speak truth, passion, clarity, directly to you as we're having the conversation together that we are today. And here's what, here's a few things you can do. I'm going to give you five things to deal with uncertainty and to work to accept it a little bit better. Number one, don't resist. No matter what happens, just try not to resist it. And it is a learned art. I call it an art rather than just a skill because it takes, it's. There's all kinds of different ways I can make a painting. The lovely Christie can make a painting, you can make a painting and Van Gogh can make a painting. And let's be honest, Christie's is going to look better than all of them. Okay, she's an artist, but she, hers is going to look the best. Then yours is going to look better than mine and then mine's going to look by paint, by numbers and then Van Gogh is going to have his, whatever that is. And actually this summer we did one, went through the earlier in the spring I guess we did a Van Gogh art exhibit thing in Scottsdale. It was epic. It's so cool. And just look at some different stuff though, and I'm like, eh, it's kind of just some paint thrown on a canvas or whatever it is. I. But it's interpretation. And so art is all about interpretation. And what I want you to realize is that resisting becomes an art because it's your own interpretation. When you get shitty news, when you get challenged, when you lose money, when you have a bad month, when you have a truck accident, when you have a building that burns down, one of your technicians has a fire in somebody's home. I'm not wishing that on anybody. I'm just sharing all the things that I deal with as a Coach and hear about and whatever, all these things happen and when you resist it, you create that disconnect rather than accepting it. I'm not saying it happens instantly. It can, you can work on it, but just work on, just slowly. Be easy with yourself. Don't resist, number one. Number two, protect your mental input. What do I mean by that? What you're doing right now is golden, my friend. I might be a little bit biased, but I believe in good information. It's one of the reasons I podcast for you. It's one of the reasons that I connect is, yes, I love the emails that I get and the feedback that I get. And as our community continues to grow and our downloads increase, I love all that for sure. But I also, I need to focus and I need to take a few minutes and go, man, what are five areas that I need to get better at? Dealing with uncertainty. I want to record that today. So this is for you and this is for me, my friend. I'm transparent. I just act the act, I walk the walk and I talk the talk. That's what it's all about. So protecting your mental input by listening to good information. Don't just have BS news on the repeat feeds and nonstop this and nonstop that. I'm not saying, just go full on ostrich approach. You don't have to not watch the news. I don't watch the news, but yet the news is on at my health club in the gym and they've got it on at the TVs on the, in the cardio room. They got TVs on in there, the sounds down. I can block out the sound as I put in my AirPods and listen to music or podcasting while I'm at the gym. And then I go down in the locker room. They've got freaking TVs in the locker room at my health club and I've got one of the best health clubs in the world, best one I've ever belonged to. And so I, I'm grateful for it, but I just, I get snippets of news. When you look at social media, you're going to learn certain things, right? People are going to tell you about it, so you can't block it out. So you're not going to be in an ostrich approach where you just bury your head in the sand and don't know what's going on. You just don't need to know about it the moment everything takes place because by the time you find out about it already happened anyway. Covid was Happening and shutting the world down. When I was in, in Austin, Texas, at my writing workshop, three weeks or third week of February 2020, it was happening. I just wasn't aware of it. And then as I needed to find out, okay, fine, I didn't go through all the ups and downs emotionally until it was time for me to deal with it. Number three, don't believe everything that you think. The mind is an absolute masterpiece. It's the greatest gift God ever gave us, man. It's just, it's amazing. And people I used to talk about, oh, is it a gift or a curse? And of course, JV's blue. Was that the blue album, the blue CD or whatever that, oh, it's a gift. It's a curse. No, it's amazing. And you and I have this driven mind. That's incredible. And what that means is I think about a lot of things and I come up with different perspectives and I jump to conclusions and I don't need to believe everything that I think. Just because I think it doesn't mean it's true. Question that. Number four. Nobody and nothing is coming to rescue you, my friend. And I say that with love and compassion. And I've got my virtual arms wrapped around you. It's just when you're watching and going, oh, well, the, the Republicans are going to get in office, or an Independent's going to get in office, or the Democrats are going to get in office and then everything's going to be okay, stop it. Vote for who you want to vote for, give money where you want to give money, do the best you can, tithe at the church you want to go to, do all those things, that's all great, but nobody's coming to save you from yourself. That's your responsibility and that's a beautiful thing. And in uncertainty, you get to get exposed a little more to yourself, to your thoughts, to your feelings, to your limiting beliefs, to your scarcity mindset. And that, my friend, is a gift. And number five, up level your self care rituals. Yes, I say it a lot on this podcast because it's one of the most important things you've got. And if I have to remind you about it every week, or virtually every week, then I'm going to continue to do that. Up level your self care rituals. And that helps with uncertainty because that's something you can. You can control how you respond to things. You can control how you take care of yourself. You can control to a certain level what you put in your body. You can control how much water you drink. You can control how much you read or listen to audiobooks. You can control how much you journal or write. You can control how much you meditate or pray. Those things you can do to a certain part. And that will all help you with uncertainty. Don't resist. Protect your mental input. Don't believe everything you think. Realize nothing's coming. Nobody's coming to save you. You got this and up level your self care ritual. Do those things and you will embrace your next level of life that's here to serve you at the highest level as it always is. I'm so grateful you're here with me. Thank you, thank you, thank bottom of my heart for being a part of this community and sharing your energy with me every week. Because even though we're not live together, perhaps at this moment in time, I feel you. I feel your energy and that's what keeps me going for this podcast for however long I do this podcast. I'm just honored and grateful and I would also love it if you would share this podcast one of these episodes that makes sense to you. Today's episode 119 truly accepting uncertainty. Thank you so much for being here. Until we talk. Make it a better than fantastic week. See you Real Sam.