123. Are You Willing To Do What Others Are Not?

Foreign. Welcome back to Leadership in a Nutshell. I am your host, Kenny Chapman, and I am fired up to be with you here today because I just want to connect with you at a deep, energetic level and just let these waves of energy that I have just resonate through these lines of this podcast format where we get to share some time together. Today's episode 123, you willing to do what others are not. And I, I just, I feel very strongly in this last week I talked about lessons from my road trip, but this week I want to come to you and just share some thoughts that really reinforce some things that I had thought about before. But the reality is that if you want to have a different situation, if you want to have different relationships, if you want to have a different business, if you want to have a different situation than everyone else, quote unquote, then you've got to be willing to do things that other people aren't willing to do. And let me just catch this as we dive in here today. I'm not saying people are bad, are lazy, are indifferent, are. There's all this talk of just how certain younger generations are lazy and this and that. I'm not buying all that. Younger generations are coming up based on the conditioning that we raised them in, by the way. So if you're upset with a younger generation, maybe you ought to take a look at who their parenting models were. And generally that's going to lie with us right in our older years. And if you're a younger listener, then I want you to make sure that you're looking at yourself and embracing your greatest self as you continue to navigate this life and look at where are my friends doing certain things or not willing to do certain things that, that I might be willing to do. This isn't about comparison mindset. I talk out a lot against comparison mindset when it comes to anybody but yourself. And so in, in self love and self care, I've got my self care rituals that I talk about and write about and, and there's a free video on kennychapman.com that, that I explain what, that, what my process is. But I really want you to think about the things that you do that other people aren't willing to do. So you might set a goal, you might have a dream, you might have a vision for your business. And then it comes to the action portion, because vision is easy and vision is great and it's dream laden. And when I was a drinker, the lovely Christy and I would sit in the hot tub in Colorado and out under the stars. And I had great vision while I had cocktails in the hot tub. But there was no action behind those when it came to it. And don't get me wrong, I accomplished a lot while I struggled with certain addictions. There's no question I still did a lot of things and made a lot of things happen and influenced and impacted a lot of people in very positive ways and changed thousands of lives. I'm not beating myself up for that. But what I know is that there was component of almost daydreaming that would take place based on those states in my mind that has now become crystal clear vision that that then has crystal clear calibrated planned action behind it. And then based on those things I get specific results. And more often than not I get the results that I desired or had a had an intention to get. And when I don't, I know for a fact that means that I was going in a direction of lessons and learning and the universe said hey, we're going to shift and go this direction a little bit because you need to learn some things here that you're not aware of or you don't see or you've got some blind spots so I'm going to point them out to you. God in the universe has a, have a great way of kind of helping us see those different types of things. And so one of the fascinating things about being in the business coaching space of the blue collar success group that our business there, all we do is coach and train in the blue collar trades and specifically help from A to Z in, in the business environment of the trades myself specifically I only coach in high level behavior change and really I don't do any business coaching. Put that in air quotes per se. All I do is coach on, on results and leadership, team building, communication, execution, removing limiting beliefs blockers, those types of things. And so we what I get to see from those two vantage points, the only reason I mention those things is that the like literally I'm not saying I do that cause I'm looking for clients. I'm not taking clients right now in my executive programs. I'm just saying blue collar is taking clients. Don't get me wrong there. But I'm just sharing those because I have two very good and different vantage points to human behavior. And what happens a lot is people say well I want this, that the other fill in the blank. And then when you lay out what needs to take place and what has to be done in order to get said result that is stated as the desire. Then different things come. Wow. I'm not sure about that. I don't think I can do that. This. This won't fly where I'm at. Then my journey, my market, my cash, my whatever it is. We can always manifest limiting beliefs to support our own limiting beliefs. So think about that. I can manifest a limiting belief in support, Support and reinforcement of a limiting belief that I may already have. Crazy. Crazy. Amazing. I should say. I don't. I'm working on eliminating the word crazy. I'll say. Fascinating. How about that, right? So it's fascinating how the brain works like that. And so I want you to do an exercise with me here today and just think about when are you willing to do what others are not. Just reflect on your life right now and just think about when was a time that you did something that the collective agreement of society didn't do or wouldn't do. Maybe it was staying with a job or even back to college. Maybe it was the exact opposite. Maybe it was leaving a job or leaving college in my case. Maybe it was a time that you had certain clarity. Clarity where others around you did not. Maybe that. Maybe it's a time when you made massive sacrifice and other people weren't willing to make the sacrifice. Now again, check yourself as you're doing this exercise. Why do I say that? Because your ego is going to want to kind of raise up and jump in and go, oh yeah, dude, you're so much better than these people. Look at you. You're great, you're smart, you're better, you're different. That's not what we're talking about here. Everything about evolving the emotional understanding of yourself is about you evolving the emotional understanding of yourself. And to do that, sometimes we view ourselves based on collective agreements of society. Does that make sense? Give me a head nod. Right. So I'm not comparing myself to go look at where I'm at in my life compared to those people over there. I'm saying I want to understand how I got here and what were my drivers and my behavior and my thinking and my motivation. I want to understand what got me here. So I can either shed things that I don't need that slowed my progress or might be blocking me. And I can bring in and add things that will help me increase, improve, manifest more progress in the direction that I want to go moving forward from this time in my life. So I. Hopefully that makes sense. How about settling? Where were there times when maybe you saw people around you settle and you weren't willing to settle in my first book, the Six Dimensions of Change, which is now Six Dimensions 2.0, when I rewrote that book after I got sober. There's a I write about us and them mentality in that book. And some of you have heard me talk about that before, even on this podcast. But that's where we're like, we're us. And that means we live this way in this manner and we spend money on these things and we don't do these certain things. And then there's them and they're the people that get to do all this. And a lot of times there's have to and get to that show up. I'm one of us. And so I have to do these different things. I wish I was one of them because they get to do these certain things. You follow me? And you might even be in your business where right now we're at this certain size. But I saw on social media that this person did this or said this. And it's easy to beat your chest on social media. And I'm not dogging it as a platform. I just, I'm having such a hard time. I tried to get back on it. Many of you may have seen I've done some stuff and I just. I'm just having a hard time finding the motivation. So I'm just really honoring my truth and checking myself of what that means. I'm not saying anything against it. Obviously, it's penalizing myself in a certain way of maybe growing the business more. And I've got. I've got my book on. On there. And I want to help people. So I need to do the things I need to do to be in front of people. But I've got to honor my truth too. And I think it's important that it seems to be better for my mind to. To not be on social media and read something positive in a book than to be on social and read a quote that somebody reposted five times. Right. So just my own personal kind of feeling. And so I think about us and them. The reason that came up, because you see things on social media and go, oh, I suck. Or I'm one of us and I want to be one of them. So just challenge yourself when you're looking at these things and go, what am I doing that other people might not be willing to do? And when it comes to how I run the business, where maybe, maybe I embrace a different model when I just a few that showed up in my life early on in my life. I quit college when My friends were staying in school and I quit college and I left. And then I moved to Lake Havasu City, Arizona, and I was working construction. And then I ended up getting arrested. And out of my six buddies that were living in that city with me were town with me at that time. It's kind of funny. It's called Lake Havasu City and it's one of the smaller towns in Arizona. Well, not one of the smallest, but a smaller town in Arizona. But nonetheless, we were. I got. We all got arrested at the same time. And then I joined the military. And it's nothing against any of my buddies, and some of them have gone on to be fine, and others have ended up in trouble. And one got shot and in and out of jail, some of them and whatever. But the fact is I did something that the others weren't willing to do. And so I changed my life forever. And I'm not saying what I did was right and what they did was wrong. I'm just saying it was different. And therefore we had different results show up. Right. And for me, I was raised in a Christian faith that you don't get divorced. It's written in the Bible, you don't get divorced or you're going to hell. And I challenge that. And I don't quote me on scripture. Those of you that. That are very well versed in the Bible, I'm re. I'm giving my paraphrase of how I felt that I was raised around that. And so. And my parents yet were married 11 times between them, so go figure. But nonetheless, I really was challenged in my. My first marriage because when I got married, it was going to be forever. And then my wife at the time really changed the game on me and completely changed our agreement that we had made when we created our union. And she completely changed everything. And I went, well, man, this is going to be challenging, and God's not going to like me for this, but I've got to do this. And that ended up being one of the greatest things that ever happened to me in my life. And both being married to her and no longer being married to her. And so I want you to just kind of embrace where are you willing to do what others are not in life, in business. How does it show up for you? Because it shows up in a lot of different things. I'm going to give you three things to be that. To be mindful that it might help you if you're willing to do before we bounce. But one of the things that on this trip I mentioned that I recently took this five week trip and we did five different national parks. And one of the things that was interesting was that people aren't willing. Now granted, let me caveat this. We don't have children and so we don't have to rouse the kids and get them up early and change their entire situation and game or whatever to go somewhere early. But we were willing to do something that most people were not willing to do inside the national parks. And we wanted to go on the best hikes and we wanted to make sure we got parking. And if you haven't been to some of the national parks during July in the US they're freaking packed, especially post Covid and so you got to do all these things to get tickets. And then parking at trails is a real challenge and different things. So we were just willing to do what most people weren't. And therefore we did everything we wanted to, the way we wanted to. And it just hit me with that in life and in business where if I'm getting the result that most people are getting, maybe I'm not doing what other people aren't willing to do in order to get a result that most people don't get. And I think it's really common. And I, I've, I've said to the lovely Christie multiple times, it's like what's fascinating about our lives is basically if I am going in a direction that is 100% opposite of where most people are going, that is when my life is working the best. Most people drink, I quit drinking, my life works better. Most people live within 80, 80 plus percent of people live within 15 minutes of where they were born or grew up. I don't. My life works better this way. Many people, there's all kinds of different types of things I could give. And I'm not trying to be politically correct, but I just want you to challenge yourself of where are you kind of just going with the flow. And most people, it's. I'll never forget, as a matter of fact, when I decided to run self managing companies, I was 32 years old. I decided I was going to retire at 40 years old with a six figure income when I was 30. And so I said, okay, I got to build this business so I can sell it when I'm 40, I'm going to retire, I'm going to make six figures and I'm going to live in bliss for the next. What I didn't know then was going to be the next 106 years of my life. So Might have gotten a little rough with inflation by the time I hit 146 on 100 grand a year. Right. But for me at that time I was like, this is what I want to do. This is how I want to live my life. And so then, okay, cool, I'm on track. I meet with my financial advisor at the time. Okay, we're good. I Fast forward to 32 and there was a little bit of a market downturn like from 2001. So my stocks and my portfolio took a little bit of a hit. And he said this, he said, well, now you're going to have to work until you're 42 before the plan gets back on track. And changed my life forever. Why? Because I'm not going to place my future in something that's uncertain. Like uncertain that I can't influence. Let me say it that way. The market I can't influence. My businesses I can influence. Right? So, so I said, well, hang on, wait. And I didn't even know what I, how clear I was at that moment in time, but I said, well, I'm 32 now, so wait, let me shift this. And what if I just build this business to where it makes me a hundred grand a year by the time I'm 40 and that way I can live what I the life that I want, but I don't have to work there. Habit self managing. And that was when I promoted to a GM at the time that I had and really started grooming him. And my ops manager really started grooming her, which by the way I ended up when I exited that business 20 some years later I sold it to her, my ops manager at that time. And so I started building this model around, well, hang on, wait. And then I was able to take 6 months motorhome trips and different things that I thought I needed to quote, retire in order to do. Why do I share that? Because that wasn't normal. Most people didn't see that. My financial advisor said I was crazy when I took the six month trip. My peers said I was crazy. So now I'm almost to the point where I'm like, well, if people aren't saying I'm crazy, maybe I'm not doing enough stuff the Kenny Chapman way. Like, like if it's not crazy, and I'm not saying go out and just look for crazy. But as I'm sharing that here, I'm like, wait a minute. Most of the time when people have said I'm crazy. Even the five week car trip last year we did a month in a motorhome and this year we did five weeks in a car. And a lot of people are like, you're nuts, man. There's no way I could be gone that long. That's fine. It works. It works for us. It doesn't work for everybody. And that's cool. That's the key, is what works for you and for me. Doing things the way most people don't have the life that I want and that I love and that I enjoy. So I have to do things different in order to have the life that I love and enjoy. It's simple. It's a simple algorithm. Here's three things and I'll leave you. Number one, be willing to invest. You've got to be willing to invest. Time, energy, effort, capital. You've got to be willing to invest in order to do things different than most people are not willing to invest. Time, energy and effort. There's all the statistics. Spend all the time on tv, all the time on social media, all the time. Do you know, whatever it is, be willing to invest, my friend. Number two, be willing to be patient. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Now you've got to navigate that for yourself. I think that's one of the things that benefits my life about knowing that I'm going to live a long time is I've got a lot of years on the planet. I don't have to get all jammed up if one quarter doesn't work out the way it was supposed to, or we have a, a month that we misplan or whatever. I don't lose my mind. I don't freak out because I'm playing a long game. I'm playing a marathon game here for me. So it's it. Now, let me say it's not always easy to be patient. I'm a quick start and by nature. And I like to do a lot of things and enjoy a lot of things and accomplish a lot of things. So just be mindful of that. But it's. I'm not saying it's always going to be easy. I'm telling you what you got to be willing to do. So be willing to invest, be willing to be patient. And three, be willing to adjust. You got to listen to your gut. There's times when you're going to just go, man, I was planning this way and I was going this way and then listen to your gut. Last week when I was talking about the five week road trip and the lovely Christy and I had to, had to leave one Airbnb early Because we just weren't going to stay there based on the condition that it was in. And so there was that kind of in your mind, you go, well, we've already paid for the place and I'm not going to try and get a refund and fight with all that mess and this and that. And so, I mean, my gosh, I don't know, is it weird if we just leave and just take off and go find another place? But that, that wasn't the plan. My gut says we go. So listen to your gut. Because you're going to go in certain direction because you have to have information to make decisions. So in business, you might start a different line of business, you might double down on a particular line of business, you might grow in a certain way or certain capacity. And then you, after you get more information, you realize that this might not be the right direction. If you stick to your ego goal, if it's an ego goal, you're going to go, nope, I'm not going to win until I accomplish it. If you take a step back and go, wait a minute, my gut's telling me now I have more information than when I set this goal. And based on that, maybe I need to change direction. Maybe I need to explore where I'm at today with the information I have now. Does this goal still make sense or do I look many people feel like that's letting yourself off the hook or that you're not accomplishing goals or anything. I'm looking to accomplish peace, love, bliss, freedom. Feeling good, like I want to be happy. That's my goal. And so I had do a lot of different things of self expression and some things work out the way I thought and other things I need to shift and go in different directions. That's my algorithm. That's what works for me. My friend, this is amazing to be able to get to connect with you. Episode 123 are you willing to do what others are not? Check yourself Run through this Share this episode with somebody. My friend, I know I ask you that virtually every week. Do me a favor and do that today. Just kick this because a lot of some of your team could use this. Some of your leadership team specifically just taking a listen of man. Maybe we're not willing to do certain things to get the result we say that we want, but we're not backing it up with action. Be easy with yourself. Love yourself. Continue to take care of yourself. Thanks so much for being here until we talk. Make it a better than fantastic week. I'll see you real soon. Cheers, Sam.