129. What Builds True Loyalty?

Foreign. Hey, my friend Kenny Chapman here. Welcome back. I'm so excited to have you. And I just, I, I love our time together. I hope you're enjoying our time together. Welcome to the show. We are here to talk about loyalty. Today, episode 129, man, already 100, almost 130 episodes. We've been playing this game together. Hopefully you're just having a moment each week where we, we just trigger a thought, trigger, reminder, trigger response from you to think about your thinking, to look at your level of consciousness, to not question yourself, but maybe add a question to your world of, does this make sense to me? Do I need to look at this? How's this serving me? That's what I'm here to do with you and for you on our journey together. So today, episode 129, what builds true loyalty? And this is a huge conversation that we get to have because loyalty, there's all kinds of different thoughts and beliefs around loyalty. And, oh, the, the younger generation has no loyalty. And I, I remember this. Let's see, maybe, I guess it was last summer. Now, as, as time continues to fly along. Last summer was the first time I saw the lovely Christy and I were on a long motorhome trip. And I may have shared it with you at the time that it happened because it made such an impact on me. And now you kind of see him everywhere. But it was a Wendy's at a, I think it was a pilot truck stop. And we were, we were in our motorhome getting fuel or whatnot. And, and they, the Wendy's had a sign that said, work today, get paid today. And I was like, whoa, holy smokes. Like, I no longer waiting for the wait, wait for Friday or whatever the deal is. And I me coming up as a, as a drain cleaner and a plumber, I know what Friday meant and I won't get into that here. But you no longer have to wait till Friday to get paid. And so you go, well, man, there's no loyalty. They might get paid and they might go somewhere else. And so then we start questioning ourselves as leaders and communicators and salespeople and different things. We start going, well, where is loyalty? And that's what I really want to talk about because there's customer loyalty and then there's team member loyalty and your own loyalty, even to your greatest self. And one of the reasons that I'm a fan of really diving into your primary purpose and the reason that I wrote about purpose in blue collar success laws and why, which by the way, if you haven't grabbed your copy of that book, it's blue collarlaws.com just go to blue collarlaws.com and you can get a copy. Just cover the shipping and we'll shoot you a book. And I just, I really think it's important that we. We look at loyalty from a little bit of a new paradigm and really realizing how it has changed and shifted and different things. So I'm going to give you four areas to really help with loyalty and to. To smoke out loyalty from certain people and different things. But I think it's important that when I think about customer loyalty, there's this thought around. They're. They're loyal to. They're loyal to you as a company until your truck drives away, right in the home services space. As soon as the truck turns the corner and is out of sight, that's where the loyalty ends. And that's why, obviously, we have service agreement programs and different things like that. But at the end of the day, your client is loyal to a few things. They're loyal to their needs, right? What they need that you can give them or offer them. There's a level of loyalty there. They're loyal to their wants, like what they kind of want to have. They're loyal to their desires, which I would say wants and desires are similar, but desire is a deeper emotional connection than a want or a need. I don't have. And people argue this point like, I don't have an emotional connection to a need. I have emotional connection to desire. And you go, I go, well, if I don't have air conditioning or if there's a sewer line stoppage, I'm emotionally impacted. That's true. But I'm not really. I don't have this, oh, my gosh, I can't wait to put a new sewer in. Right? Your client doesn't have that level of loyalty. Their loyalty is around their desire to never have sewage come up in the bathtub because they have young children. So that's their desire, and that's where their loyalty lies, right? So that's where the motion tie comes in. And we talk about that in selling sewer replacements and so on and so forth. So regardless of your trade, regardless of your position, regardless what you do, just realize that customers have loyalty for their reasons. And a lot of our frustration comes when it doesn't align with our reasons and what we think it should be and some of those types of things. And so I just, I don't want to spend a whole lot of time today around Customer loyalty. I really want to shift to our own loyalty and team member loyalty. This is leadership in a nutshell. So I want to talk from a leadership perspective. So when, when team member, I want you to write this down if you're in a place to write. Obviously if you're driving, don't worry about that right now, but come back and grab it out of show notes or whatever. But there's a team member loyalty focus that has to do with. Write this down. Relationship loyalty. So I'm loyal to my relationships. And we all know that some people stay at companies longer than they might because of the relationship. People stay in intimate relationships, bad marriages, so on and so forth because of their relationship loyalty. As a matter of fact, I wrote in the, in the six dimensions of Change around, around relationships. And you have relationships with yourself, you have relationships with others, you have relationships with money. As a matter of fact, I wrote about it in the success laws as well because it's that powerful. And I, and I talk from a different perspective in blue collar success laws. But you have, you have relationship to self, others and money. And so it's interesting when I, when I think back on, on the marriage that I was in prior to getting myself, you know, squared away from a soldier perspective, I, I need to square myself away in order to have a better relationship with, that I enjoy with the lovely Christie, which both of us work on ourselves, which there in turn works on our, on our marriage. But I was in a marriage longer than I quote, should have been. I don't believe that because everything happens in the exact time that it's, that it's meant to and that it's supposed to. So I was in that marriage for the exact right amount of time. So I won't say that I was in it longer than I should have. I'll say I was in it longer than I could have. Because if I would have evolved my consciousness further at a level I would have recognized my loyalty wasn't to the relationship or the person. My loyalty was to my relationship with money. And so I didn't have the healthiest relationship with money at that time. And during those years that I was with that individual was the only time that I had created any money, any financial freedom or space and living in nice homes and driving nice cars and having a couple bucks in the bank. I never had that until I was in that relationship. Therefore, if I leave that relationship, I'm going to lose half of my stuff. And so I had a poor relationship with money. So I was loyal to my Relationship with money. So I stayed in that relationship until it got to a breaking point and the pain was too great to deal with it. So then that now all of a sudden, my loyalty to my own self worth, happiness, mental and emotional freedom, that's where I became loyal and I moved on from that relationship. So the point is that people are loyal to different things, but team members are ultimately loyal to a relationship. A relationship with the business, a relationship with the core values, the relationship with the mission, a relationship with their leader, a relationship with their peers, sometimes relationship with clientele or whatever that looks like. And so there's, there's, there's certain things that need to be taken place here. And so I messed around and had a cell phone ring there. And I'm going to prove to you right now that we don't over edit this podcast because I'm not going to delete that. So audio editors, if you want to try and pull that out, fine, but don't cut it out, it's fine. So anyway, here's the deal. You know, as we, as we navigate true, authentic, what I'll call two way loyalty, it's reciprocity, right? We know in the law of reciprocity in sales, if I do something good for you, you might feel inclined and desire to do something good for me, right? So we get all that. But I want you to be mindful of the fact that it needs to be a two way street. So I need to be true and authentic as a leader. And then you get the opportunity to be true and authentic as, as a team member will say, right? And so when I, when I look at that and go, okay, so it's two way. What does that mean? There's four things I want you to write down and capture from today's episode. What builds true loyalty? Number one, open communication. If I'm gonna have the highest level of loyalty with my team, I have to have the highest level of open communication. I've gotta be there for them, I've gotta honor their truth and know that, you know, I might not always agree with them. I might have different beliefs, I might have different personal choices and values and different things, but I'm gonna have open two way reciprocal communication. And when they bring things to me, I'm going to hear them, I'm going to love on them, I'm going to understand where they're coming from and I'm going to do the very best to have empathy, compassion for their position or their standing, even if we can't make a change that they want to have made or they don't understand or they're frustrated or whatever that is. That's the first thing I'm going to have open communication. The second thing I'm going to have a lack of judgment. So loyalty comes from not judging people and people not feeling judged. And I've said for a long time, and I'll remind you here today, my belief is all judgment is self judgment. So if I don't like how you're dressed, and I judge you for that, if I don't like how you do your hair, if I don't like, you know, your, your political beliefs, if I don't like, you know, where you know, how you carry yourself, whatever that is, all that is self judgment, meaning that there's something within me that is uncomfortable enough that I can't just let you be you. So I believe that all judgment is self judgment and you can challenge me on that. And there's difference, there's a difference between, you know, discernment and just observing something. And I'm not saying that I have to like to, you know, evaluate it mentally in my mind. I might not like, you know, what a team member does or says or an action that they take or a decision that they make. I don't have to like it, but I don't have to judge it. What does that mean? I believe that people are doing the best they can based on their own situation, based on their own view of the world, based on their reticular activating system within their own brain. Meaning, you know, my mentor, Dan Sullivan, I'll remind you, he talks about the brain only, or the eyes only see and the ears only hear what the brain is looking for. So we've got this, you know, what people are looking for is what they're going to see and hear. And so if somebody has a different view, that's okay. I was raised in my environment by my parents and my market and my geography. I run businesses based on my perspective, my understanding, doing the best I can. Team members come into my life and sometimes leave my life based on their perspective. Where they were raised, what their beliefs are, what their core values are, all those different types of things. And I maintain relationships with most of the people that don't remain in my companies. If they didn't break a core value, if they violate values, then I generally don't maintain relationships with them. But I, I have a handful of people that I still remain in touch with and, and a lot of my team doesn't. And that's fine. Whatever But I'm, I'm not here just for business relationships. I'm here for conscious evolution relationships. And we might not be best friends and we might not have everything in common or whatever as we might have when, you know, when we were on the same team. But hey, this is about loyalty. I'm loyal to conscious evolution. I'm loyal to relationships. And I'm not going to judge. And if I need to let somebody go, I'm not going to judge them for not being able to fulfill a role or, or they desire something. And if somebody needs to leave on their own accord for their greatest self, I'm also not going to judge that. So that's where I choose to live. So open communication, number one. Number two, lack of judgment. Don't judge a team member, just work on it. Because when you're judging them, you're judging yourself. You're going, dang it. I knew I shouldn't have hired them. Dang it. They should know better. Where really I'm judging myself going, man, maybe I fast tracked the hiring process. Maybe I should have given them a little more training, so on and so forth, right? Easy to judge other people. Realize when you're judging others, you're judging yourself. Number three, write this down. Beliefs. People are loyal to their beliefs and they might not be in alignment with yours. And this is one of the only areas that, that I'll say I cross over from I don't believe in personal life and business life. I believe in life. And from there I believe that we're all here and we have a career and we have work that we do and we have, you know, companies that we run and team that gets involved and so on and so forth. That's all part of my life. But when it comes to beliefs, there are certain beliefs that I hold that don't belong in the business world. And this is my own. I know some of you won't agree with this and that's okay. We're not here to agree. We're here to have a value driven conversation. And so, you know, I've, I've been in organizations that, that, you know, have, that pray before breakfast meetings and that's fine. I've been in other companies that you get fired for talking about religion and that's fine too, like whatever the company beliefs are. But I know I have personal, spiritual, political, you know, global beliefs that are my beliefs and sometimes they don't have anything to do with the blue collar success group. And I'm not here to push my agenda. Quote unquote or my thought process. I. I'm here to allow my beliefs to show up by how I live my life and how I have open communication. And now I have a lack of judgment. So if myself and another team member don't believe the same politically, let's say I don't have to judge them for that because I'm not right. I'm right with my belief in what I feel, but I'm humble enough and aware enough to know that I'm not right. Right. What does that mean? Everybody has, you know, there's. What is it now? 7 billion people on the planet. We all come from different education, we come from different backgrounds, we come from different societal beliefs, different income, different languages. Like, we're all out here doing the best we can, thinking we got it all figured out. I'm just conscious enough to know that I don't have it all figured out for everybody. I'm doing the best I can to figure it out for myself and a core group, a team that come together, that row the boat in the right direction for however long. We can play the game together. That's what it's all about. And I don't judge time and I don't judge anything like that because I want to communicate openly. I'm not going to judge people to the best of my ability. Doesn't mean it doesn't sneak in at times. I'm not, quote, perfect here. And I'm going to allow people to believe what they want to believe as long as it's in line with our core values, with our, with our core beliefs. As a company, we can't, you know, I can't have somebody that believes stealing is okay or whatever, you know, and doing like, obviously there are some of those that, that do cross over, but just be mindful because people are loyal to their beliefs and if you feel, you know, pulled to push an agenda. I remember there was an election years ago that I had a client that was walking around the company saying, if you vote for so and so, I'm going to fire you. And you think about that when it's like, holy cow, like, think about what that looks like. If you're walking around going, you're going to get fired if you vote for this person and whatever, that person felt compelled to share their belief at that time. But I would assume it probably created some turnover because we live in a free country and free countries, I should say, with my listeners are in the US Canada and Australia, and we all have the opportunity to choose our own beliefs and what we want allow people to have their perspective. That's what it's about. Remember, you know, I. I like, I like gelato. And if I go to the gelato place and I want to. To taste different gelatos and go, man, I like, I like this one more than that one. I like this one. I don't have to hate the ones that I didn't decide to choose. I just have to go, no, that's fine. But that one doesn't resonate for me. I'm gonna go ahead with the vegan chocolate one right now. That's what I want to kick up. Right? So whatever. Whatever works for you. Last, certainly not least, unique genius. People are loyal to their unique genius. What Dan Sullivan calls unique ability. I'll say it's unique genius. It's zone of genius. It's what I'm here to do. That is what I'm loyal to probably more than anything else. So if I'm getting my needs met, if I'm in relationships, if I'm around team members, if I'm having a human experience that's in alignment with what I feel that I'm put on the planet for what I feel that I want to do in this game of life, I'm loyal to that. And that's why as I look at companies that I build and relationships that I build, and I don't have any interest or desire of selling the blue collar success group, because I get to play in my unique genius more often than not. And I'm committed to continuing to build an organization where our team members get to play in their unique genius more often than not. And when team members leave either willing or unwilling, it's almost always because we don't have them in their unique genius, or they think they're in unique genius and they might not be right, depending on where they're at. And so I just want you to be mindful of this with team members. You know, if you've got frontline team that just hates their job and they don't like what they're doing, it's going to be hard for them to be loyal to an organization. If you have, you know, people in certain roles, that isn't what you hired them for, they've got to be able to evolve into the role or move on. And that's okay. If there's another role within the organization, get them over there. If there's not, that's okay too, because we're all here having this human experience, and we're all here to evolve consciousness And I'm clear enough to know that people aren't loyal to people. You're not loyal to somebody else. You can think you are, but really you're loyal to your unique genius. You're loyal to your beliefs. You're loyal to what your judgments are or are not. You're loyal to the ability to communicate with other humans. That's ultimately where loyalty lies. So be easy with yourself as you navigate this incredible life of leadership. Be easy with yourself when you hang your hat on loyalty. Beat yourself up. If a team member chooses to move on or to leave or do something different, it's okay. Keep growing. Keep doing the best you can. Keep asking questions. Keep communication open. Keep catching yourself when you're judging for no reason or you're judging yourself and it's showing up in judgment of others. Be mindful of how loyal you are to beliefs and how loyal you are to thinking other people need to believe exactly like you do. And realize people are loyal to their own unique genius, their own ability to live in this world and do what they're meant to do. That, my friend, sets you free as a leader. Thank you so much for being here. Episode 129 what Builds True Loyalty? Give us a. Like, give us a rating. If you have just 30 seconds, jump to your platform and give us a review, please. Just a quick short snippet of a review. That would be huge. I really honor that. And if you haven't got my latest book yet, go to blue collarlaws.com would love to have you go through the book and let me know what you think. So I'm honored to always have you. I'm so grateful to be growing this community with you. Until we talk, my friend, make it a better than fantastic week and I'll see you next time. Thanks, everybody.