133. Exploring Connection and Influence Part 1

Foreign. Hey my friend, welcome back to the show. I am your host, Kenny Chapman. I am so pumped to have you back on leadership in a nutshell for home service professionals just like you and me. And if you're not happen to be making a living doing your thing in the home service space, why not? No, I'm just kidding. I'm honored to have you. I know we have some listeners that cross over because the topics that I share, the things we talk about and discuss are actually valuable and useful across all industries. That's not what I'm saying. That's what I have been told. The books I write, the information that I share, I'm a mindset guy. I'm a behavior change expert. I focus on up leveling consciousness and improving results, happiness, all those different things. So that is what I am here to do with you today. Episode 133 exploring connection and influence. So as leaders or as sales people, you know, remember we, I talked recently, a couple episodes ago about how important returning to sales is returning to sales mindsets. There's a new kind of buyer behavior showing up and a, a lessening of demand that, that might be taking place which may, may continue for a little bit. And that's totally fine. And that's all well and good is just an opportunity to uplevel our game. And today I want to, I want to come from an angle of maybe thinking about your own leadership style, skills, ability, capability and, and explore connection and influence. And so there's things that I, I get the opportunity to witness. And I've been teaching sales for gosh, 20, 20 years, 21 years professionally now. But I've really been teaching sales since 1994 when I was teaching myself, when I was by myself in the truck when I was first learning how to influence and make offers to clients and create offers and, and different types of things like that. And, and I, so I, as I'm such a student of the game, really I'm a student of the game of life as you are too, or you wouldn't be here sharing this time and energy and space with me. But as students of the game, we know that we pay attention to certain things that sometimes other people don't. Right. So there's this little part of your brain called the reticular activating system. I've talked about that before. It's the Google field. It's what your brain is really looking for. It's. And you know, you, you plant things in your ras reticular activating system and then that's, that's what you see and look for. So, for instance, if I'm, you know, I think I've used the. The example if I'm walking down an aisle in. In Target, say, if I see baby formula or diapers or anything to do with babies, I. It doesn't even register to me. I don't even see it. I'm not. I'm not a parent. I'm not intending to be a parent. So it's, it's not even in my. In my scope of awareness where any of you that have children or getting ready to have children, you might stop and look, you would at least be aware where. For me, you know, if. If I walk through the electronics area, then I'm. I'm looking at, you know, speakers and microphones and things that have to do with my podcasting career, maybe video, you know, different things like that. So that's. That's where we register these things. I only say that to remind you that what you're looking for shows up. So, you know, it's. It's been said, I believe it was Dan Sullivan that said, you know, the. The brain only. Only processes what the eyes and ears are looking for. So the brain only sees and it only hears what the eyes and ears are looking for. And that's basically just a shortening of tapping into that RAs. So for me, it's sales. I'm not in formal sales roles with, like a salesperson title any longer, meaning I don't go out and, you know, formally sell any, any product or service. Certainly if. If my team is working a trade show, we have a booth somewhere. If I'm speaking and I'm offering a product or, or a school or a coaching program or something, then, yeah, you might call that sales. But really, the. I'm. I'm more of an informal salesperson, meaning I'm selling behavior change. I'm selling influence. Every single day, every interaction that I have, just like you are. I'm just super aware of it and hypersensitive of it. Therefore, I'm always paying attention. And so I bring that in today because when you're that, like, in tune with it, you see where connection and influence cross, when they dissect, when they're parallel, when they're in alignment, and when they're, like, on opposite ends of the spectrum. And so we might have an opportunity to. To really see. Like, okay, there's, you know, the major types of connection happen verbally, how we speak, if we speak the same language, noises that we might make, you know, there's connection based on that. There's visual connection that takes place. Then there's a level of intellectual connection that, that, you know, manifests and facilitates itself when we're looking to connect with someone. And then last and certainly not least, there's. There's an emotional connection. And I want you to think about your, you know, previous or current, say, you know, significant other or intimate relationships. There was a, There was a verbal connection of some level. There was a visual connection of some level. There was, there was a higher level intellectual connection. And then there was an emotional connection that really tied it all together. And why do relationships end? Because the connection gets broken, soften, fizzles, wears out, whatever it is. And no longer are we communicating verbally the way that we used to. So we're not connected. We're not visually attracted to each other or connected in a different level. Intellectually, we've put it in air quotes, grown apart, perhaps. And so there's no emotional connection anymore and the relationship fizzles out and moves on. That's a transactional relationship where I'm about having transformational relationships. And there's nothing wrong with transactional relationships. We need those too. There's a time when we come into each other's world for a moment in time, and it's a transaction that could be a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, 25 years, whatever it is. And, but it doesn't transform. And so, you know, I just want to talk about that from a level of. That's the deepest level of connection now in connection and influence. Today, where I just want to explore it is thinking around sales and connecting with our team and leadership. No, we're not going to create intimate relationships with clients and team members, but I just want you to realize that you're in sales all day, every day, like I am, whether I'm actually selling or offering a product or a service or a coaching program, or I'm just offering new benefits to the company. And as the founder and CEO, I sign off on it, make the decision, and okay, cool. This is now. Now I'm going to offer this to my, to my team. And I want to connect because I want them to participate in the benefits and understand and get the, get the clarity of how important it is. And so we're always selling. Sometimes we're selling a, an object, a service, but we're always selling a feeling. Write that down. We're always selling a feeling because everything we do or don't do throughout the course of the day, week, month, year, quarter, you know, decade, lifetime, everything we're doing is for a feeling and everything we're selling is for a feeling. And so I observe when connection really heightens itself and when it really is broken or what the difference of those two is. And so today I just want to share. Recently I, we, we had a screw that got into one of the tires on the lovely Christie's car. And so I, I'm like, okay, cool, let me run it down to the tire store and, and see what we can do. And, and so I'm, I'm standing there in line and I'm at one of these, you know, one of these kind of companies that, that you, you go in and put in air quotes. Quick, quick stop type thing. You don't need an appointment, but you better plan on leaving your car for a while because it's going to be a minute, right? And I just have a flat repair. They're not, you know, her car only has 5,000 miles on it or something. It's, it's not time for tires. So there's no sales process there or whatever. Let's just get the, get the screw removed or figure out at this point, I don't even know it's a screw. Just get it, get it taken care of and they'll take good care of me so I buy my tires from them next time that, that type of an experience. So I'm standing there and you know, these places are just hammered, busy waiting, wait and wait. And they're good at sales and they, they. I'd love to sit in on some of their sales training. Cause they're very good at counter sales and, and different types of things like that. So I'm standing there and there's this gentleman in front of me and he, he's engaged with this, we'll call him the salesperson behind the, the computer. There's. And they're talking about the set of tires that the client needs or say the tire shopper. And so he's standing there and he's very standoffish. And I'm watching the interaction. Cause there's a sales interaction going down. I'm certainly down to observe and learn what I can. And so the salesperson is running through benefits of the tires and the type they are and the warranty they have and the wear and tear and all weather stuff and just hitting all these great benefits and doing a good job there. And the client, the buyer's just kind of, you know, just not connecting. And so I'm watching this and, and he's Kind of. He's just, like, kind of pushing back a little bit, and, well, is that your best price? And, you know, can you do better than that and this and that? And. And so he's, like, super standoffish and almost confrontational when he's asking for the best price. And the sales guy's like, you know, that that's our number. That. That is what it is. You know, we don't. We don't drop our prices and. And go through these types of things, you know, just to. To make a sale or make a deal. We stand behind our product, blah, blah, blah. Okay, cool. So the guy pulls out his phone, and picture holding up his phone in the guy in the salesperson's face, and he goes, are you going to do a price match on these? And so the guy. The sales guy, like, kind of holds his. His head back a little bit. He's like, whoa, What? Wait, you know, hang on. Like, it's right in his face. Like, totally unnecessary, but shoves it in his face. So he steps back. He's like, well, hang on. Wait a minute. Let me. Let me see. Well, I can go get these at Walmart. The same tires. Da da da da da. For this price, whatever the number was, it was obviously a lower number. And the guy goes, well, hang on, let me. Let me look. And so he punches in his computer, and he pulls it up, and he's like, okay, yeah, I can do a price match on those, and I can do those if you're willing to do those right now. And literally, the guy in front of me, that's the buyer, the tire buyer. He just, like. You see his shoulders. Picture his shoulders dropping. Just lets out this sigh of relief. Oh, man. And. And just like, okay. And then he launches into how great the company is. Man, I'm so glad. I'm so glad to do business with you guys. You guys are so awesome. And the fact that you do what you say and your honor, your price and this and that, that's incredible. And about this time, a McLaren drives by. I'm on Scottsdale road in. In Scottsdale. And this McLaren drives by, like, revving his engine. And so they start talking about supercars. And the sales guy is like, man, it's like being at Barrett Jackson or a car show all day, every day here with, you know, people riding up north Scottsdale road and their supercars, and they're like, connected friends. Oh, yeah. Have you seen the guy that has the green one riding around? Yeah. Want to stop and talk to him? And I'm like, oh my God, this is the same two people having the same interaction. So let me ask you, what changed? Why did that go from this uncomfortable, borderline combative relationship prior to a sale taking place or let's say a price agreement taking place? Why is that so uncomfortable? And as soon as price is off the table. Oh my gosh, this is awesome. This is great. Okay, cool, we're dialed. This is, this is amazing. What is it about that? Why, why do we have to have this uncomfortable like problem, if you will, around sales? Why can't the guy go in and be like, hey dude, what's your best price on these tires? Okay, cool, I've, I can buy them cheaper at Walmart. I really don't. Please, please, I'm begging you, please don't make me go to Walmart. I don't want to go buy the tires there, but I've got to get the best deal on these tires and they offer them for this much money less. Can you match those? I'd love to do business with you guys. And like, why can't he come in and have that type of an interaction? And so I share this with you. As you know, many of you are leaders on the line. Well, all of us are leaders in our own capacity and way, shape or form regardless of the, of the relate or the, the position that you have at the business. But what is it that gets in the way there? Like I challenge you today to take a step back and think about where, where do I bring this resistance. Like all pain comes from resisting what is. So both of these individuals are in some level of pain before there's a price agreement. Because one has this, you know, he hopes that he's going to make a sale and the other one hopes that he's going to make a buy, if you will. Right. It's like, you know, it's where the two intersect. Like, you know, what's something worth? It's what somebody's willing to sell it for and what somebody's willing to buy it for. And so I'm asking you to up level your emotional regulation and challenge yourself at a higher level to have some fun in the process, to enjoy going through this process and be able to head into the interaction with better connection, with lighter shoulders, with deeper breath instead of shallow breath, with more confidence instead of fear, with connection instead of anxiety. Why can't we do that? I believe that we can and I'm going to roll into more of that. Actually. I just made this decision on the fly right now. I'm going to record another episode on this exact experience because I want not this exact experience rather this exact topic. Connection and influence. It's so important and it's getting more.

Important with all the all the detractors of social media, all the barrage of the billion dollar industries coming at us with what we need to buy how we're less than all the different things all the softening of the buyer pool of of clients holding their checkbooks a little tighter, negative news driving fear into consumerism all the different things that are taking place. I'm going to do another one so let come back for next week's episode 134 and I'll do part two of exploring connection and influence. I got another story with you that that I that I want to share with you I should say and, and.

Let'S between now and then though I want you to take a step back so we can piggyback it next week. How can you come into this whether it's with a team member, whether it's with a client. You know maybe you're selling a different on call schedule that sales maybe you're selling a compensation plan change that sales Regardless of what it is let's look at how you can be more connected heading in and join me here next week and I'm going to dive into part two exploring connection and Influence. Make sure you take a moment rate us, review us take the just a couple seconds to review us the that really helps grow our community. I'm very grateful for you get back here next week. Episode 134 Part 2 coming to you. I'll see you then. Until we talk make it a better than fantastic week Connect and Influence. I'll see you next week.